Robert DeNiro & his wife of 20 years, Grace Hightower, have probably broken up

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Robert DeNiro’s personal life is generally pretty quiet. He’s been married to his wife, Grace Hightower, for 20 years, and they were together for years before they even got married. Of course there have been rumors of discord between them over the years, but Grace still comes out for most of his events, and they always seem pretty solid. They also have two (adult?) kids together, Helen and Elliot (Elliot has autism). But I guess Grace and Bob are on the outs, because they’re not living together anymore:

Robert De Niro and his wife of over 20 years, Grace Hightower have split, Page Six has exclusively learned. A source close to the couple confirmed that they are no longer living together. We hear that they’re expected to potentially announce their breakup publicly in the coming weeks. Said a pal, “They are not living together at this time.”

Social sources have noticed that “Raging Bull” star De Niro has been solo at events he’d usually attend with Hightower over the past months. Said one source, “De Niro and Grace are breaking up. He’s been at a few things since the very end of the summer without her — and rumor has it they are done.” De Niro was at a MoMA film benefit on Monday night to honor Martin Scorsese, along with Leo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill and Harvey Keitel.

De Niro and Hightower married in 1997 after dating for nearly a decade, and they have two kids together. But this is not the first time the couple’s split up. De Niro filed for divorce in 1999, two years into their marriage, and they reportedly had a custody battle over their son at the time until they smoothed out their troubles and the divorce did not proceed.

[From Page Six]

DeNiro is an empire at this point, because he owns large chunks of Nobu, the Tribeca Grill, the Tribeca Film Festival, and a lucrative production company. What I’m saying is that he and Grace have been together for so long that most divorce courts would easily give her half of his empire in the divorce. Grace has always seemed pretty low-key, for what it’s worth, so I doubt she’s going to “take him to the cleaners” or whatever. Plus, I bet he’ll be pretty generous with her if they do divorce.

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34 Responses to “Robert DeNiro & his wife of 20 years, Grace Hightower, have probably broken up”

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  1. dogmom says:

    He was smokin’ hot back in the ‘70s. The first time I saw Godfather 2, he reminded me of a young Christian Bale! Hopefully he and Grace can resolve everything amicably.

    • Becks says:

      Hot AF in the 70’s! I was telling my friends the other day that lately I am obsessed with young Deniro. I loved him in Godfather and don’t get me started on Deer hunter, with that beard! 😍

  2. Togetherness says:

    Their breakup years ago was one of the worst in Hollywood. It was bad. They both filed for restraining orders against each other. Hopefully this time it won’t be as bad.

  3. Bea says:

    He was hot in the 90s too even as Max Cady! Superficialities aside – the man can act, like few others. He takes his roles next level. The rom com era kinda ruined him for me but still – nothing like DeNiro.

  4. H says:

    He’s been cheating on her for years. I guess she finally had enough.

  5. Steph says:

    I remembered a rumor about she expending like crazy and they had a fight at place or restaurant some years ago. This was posted at celebitchy I think.

    • 2bounce4u says:

      Her coffee bussiness made him on a edge of being broke. That’s why he takes any script that comes his way.

      • Claire Voyant says:

        Not true. Even with putting his mistresses up, investing in restaurants, buying properties and funding media/production companies he is light years away from being strapped for cash. Add to this he is relatively frugal and doesn’t live extravagantly. Nice way to genderize your perceptions, heavily skewed towards misogynistic stereotypes of the fiscally careless wife and the hardworking, longsuffering husband. Massive eyeroll.

      • Tessy says:

        Massive eye roll about what ever gobbledygook that was, Claire.

      • H says:

        He has multiple mistresses. Multiple. I know someone who does business with him.

  6. Blonde555 says:

    He’ll be generous with her? No one knows that. If he was the one spurned there’s little chance that the divorce and division of assets won’t go down without a fight.

  7. Veronica S. says:

    Sucks to have a marriage fall apart after being together that long, but it happens. At least their kids are grown and don’t have to be worried about getting stuck in a custody battle.

  8. Claire Voyant says:

    A good friend taught piano to their children and said he was surprised to see there was little joy in the home but equally surprised to see that Bobby was there for nearly every lesson with encouragement, feedback and real engagement for his kids.

    I have interacted personally with Grace at NYWF functions/meetings and she is beautiful, intelligent, energetic and involved – no divatude at all.

    I like them both but not surprised at all over the split. He’s known in NYC for being a difficult partner.

    • Holly hobby says:

      So sad that a relationship ended but it really warms my heart that they are engaging parents.

    • NicoleinSavannah says:

      I would help work at the twins’ parties. Mom’s name is Tookie. He was at every party. One of those boys hung from his bear the whole party. They did seem sad.
      Grace was NOT there since the twins were obviously born while they were married.

    • Jag says:

      Ugh, I hate it when guys named Robert go by “Bobby,” if he does. Robert is Rob or Robby, and Bobby is Bob or Bobby. My father’s name is Bobby and he goes by Bob and my great uncle’s name was Robert and he went by Rob. It was so annoying when people used to often bother us by phone looking for other people by assuming that the wrong nicknames were my immediate relatives. (They would be calling after checking the phone book.)

  9. Lana234 says:

    They were together for a decade and the. Married for 20 that is a long time to be with someone. I hope they had more good times than bad.

  10. Lala11_7 says:

    Okay then…

    He has a type…..that I’ve never seen him stray from…

  11. Snowflake says:

    Yes i love my husband, he is not just a black man to me. I love his big heart and so many things about him. Unfortunately when we go out in public, people stare at us and give us dirty looks so they see his color. I’m white, i meant my comment in a happy way, i love seeing mixed couples. But it is still pretty rare in some areas. People never stared at me and my white exes but they do at my black husband and I. You dont see color, great! Others do. And I did not mean to fethisize POC. I love my husband for who he is, not what he looks like.

    • MrsClincy says:

      I’ve been with my husband 13 years and we have three amazing children together. I’m actually getting the baby ready to go see the doctor. We still get ‘those looks’ they don’t bother me as much anymore as they do him. We are a mixed race couple he is black and I am white on my father’s side and white, native American, and black on my mother’s. My dominant traits are from my father with some very clear black traits from my mother.

    • Claire Voyant says:

      That’s your experience and I respect it but please don’t assume that black women want to be referred to as chocolate. Marrying a black man doesn’t entitle you to that.

      Edit: this is in reference to an original response that is now missing.

      • Hannah says:

        Why are you so rude?

      • Snowflake says:

        I didn’t say it did. Sigh.

      • NewKay says:

        Thank you so much Claire Voyant for your comment. The entitled white women married to Black men brigade drive me crazy with their passive aggressive microagreasions particularly towards Black women. They are often most guilty of anti-Black racism but will never own up to it….al that white fragility.

    • Mash says:

      snowflake….your comment was random as hell. this breakup prob has nothing to do with their ethnicities and just maybe 2 older people growing apart or maybe got married for the wrong reasons…

  12. Onemoretime says:

    Thier daughter Helen Grace isn’t an adult ( born in 2011) must be about 7 or 8 now.
    I heard they were always fighting about money as a poster above said she almost bankrupted him with her failed business ventures.
    I hope they can work this out.

  13. SJhere says:

    DiNiro was fabulous in Godfather 2 and Raging Bull.
    He does seem like he would be a lot of work in a relationship.
    He was very good looking in Godfather 2.
    After 20-30 years in a relationship why bother divorcing? Live seperate lives, save a fortune on lawyers.

    Why either of these A-list actors have chosen to act in films well beneath their abilities, I don’t understand. I’ve seen DeNiro pop up in some lousy movies and actually said “is that really DeNiro? How many ex-wives does he have? WTH is he doing in this?”

    Also Pacino has done the same.
    Adam Sandler should publicly apologize to Pacino and every single human being who watched any part of Jack & Jill. Blech.

    • milky way says:

      Does anybody know what kind of marriage contract DeNiro and Grace have? thing is if they don’t have one she might be able to keep spending his money in case of separation without divorce.

    • Bella Bella says:

      I think this is wife #3. I remember when he was with Toukie Smith (the designer Willie Smith’s sister) — although I’m not sure they were ever married, but they were together a long time. In fact, they were together in 1989, at least, because I worked for an organization that did business with DeNiro’s production company, so I am skeptical about the dates mentioned in the post regarding his relationship with Hightower. Before Toukie there was another woman he was married to. Either she was an actress or the daughter from that marriage was an actress. She was in a Scorcese film, I think, played a songstress.

      As to why actors do crappy movies, DeNiro has a lot of kids! And who knows how long he gives alimony to the ex-wives? That’s a lot of people he is taking care of.

  14. Valerie says:

    The posts about this from black twitter are killing me, lmao.

    Hope it was an amicable split. That sucks for them, but it is probably for the best.

  15. Ashley says:

    I just ate at Nobu last sunday! I didn’t know he was a part owner. interesting.

  16. NicoleinSavannah says:

    True with all of them

  17. Jag says:

    I hope the divorce is amicable. That said, I would like to ask why it was mentioned that Elliot has autism? Does that matter? I don’t think it does.