Duchess Meghan ‘would do well to nurture’ her relationship with the Queen

Young Leaders Awards Ceremony

The current smear campaign against the Duchess of Sussex reminds me of the smear campaign against her over the summer, when British outlets were paying Samantha Markle and Thomas Markle for “exclusives” in which they continuously insulted and denigrated Meg, and then the same media outlets ran stories about what Meghan could and should differently, how she should handle all of the emotional abuse from her family, and how SHE was the one who needed to change her behavior. The same thing is happening now: Meghan is the victim of an abusive smear campaign, and again, the same outlets are running stories about what Meghan needs to do to change. According to the Sunday Times’ sources, Meghan needs to be like the Countess of Wessex and spend more time with the Queen.

She’s reportedly experienced a rift with the Duchess of Cambridge and is enduring uncomfortable rumours about being demanding with staff. But according to royal insiders, the Duchess of Sussex, 37, could easily navigate her way out of these troubled waters by using her husband’s aunt Sophie Wessex as her role model.

According to The Sunday Times, courtiers have been citing Sophie, 52, as an example of someone who endured a difficult beginning in the royal family, but is now one of its stalwarts after building a close bond with the Queen. The source said: “She will go over for a chat, or take the children to watch some TV with her. She has built up that relationship, now they are incredibly close and discuss everything. Meghan doesn’t need an invitation — this is a family, after all.”

And sources say that the monarch is open to lending her support to pregnant Meghan.

‘Her Majesty has seen it all and could offer the duchess some helpful advice at the moment,’ an insider said. ‘Meghan would do well to nurture that relationship and pop over for the occasional cup of tea with the Queen. That is what Sophie Wessex has quietly done so well.’

[From The Daily Mail]

The Countess of Wessex is very close to the Queen – many have argued that Sophie is probably the closest to the Queen out of all of the Queen’s daughters-in-law (past and present). Sophie treats the Queen like a surrogate mom, and asks for advice about everything, and the Queen genuinely seems to lean on Sophie emotionally a bit. It would be odd, I think, if Meghan came in and tried to mimic that relationship. But of course Meghan could and should try to spend more time with the Queen. And then when that happens, a whole new fury will be unleashed in the British media: who does this “uppity Yank” think she is, asking the Queen for advice over tea, etc.

King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima state visit to the UK - Day 2

Britain's Queen Elizabeth and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, visit the Storyhouse in Chester

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

53 Responses to “Duchess Meghan ‘would do well to nurture’ her relationship with the Queen”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Betsy says:

    I hope she does, too. I do not want to draw parallels between Andrew the ephebophile and Meghan, but look at the protection and favors that Andrew, the favorite, has received over the years. The Queen already seems to like Meghan and her admirable work ethic, as does Charles. Keep on, keeping on, Meghan!

  2. Erinn says:

    Honestly. I can only imagine that the best ‘revenge’ is to have the Queen adoring you. I don’t believe in the grudges being anywhere near what they are. But if I lean into the idea that they all hate each other and are being vindictive as hell, then you haul out the big guns, I guess.

    • Div says:

      I don’t have a hard time at all believing that the royal family, one of the most formal/stiff/conservative royals in Europe, are snotty and awful to Meghan—they probably brought out the smelling salts when they learned Harry was marrying a Black American actress. People love to blame everything on the Middletons, but I completely buy that the Yorks and some of Harry and Wills circle were brutal on Kate in the beginning for being from a non-Aristocrat background—and Meg would have it ten times worse. Plus, Prince Phillip is a notorious, unabashed racist and has never curbed his racist tongue in more than fifty years of public service. Diana and Fergie also discussed how cruel and petty the courtiers were to them. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they were/are feeding fake info/taking things out of context/etc. and telling the press in addition to the press making some things up.

      That said, if Harry and Meghan establish a separate court/PR office it will help tremendously. The firm isn’t bothering to stop this press onslaught, and they’ve done it in the past for Andrew. If H & M get their own PR office, perhaps they can wheel and deal with the press to get them to back off.

      *Someone always pops up and goes ‘well, the royals are nice to this one POC family member by marriage.’ Well, they aren’t that high up in the pecking order and I think it would be a very different scenario if Eugenie or Beatrice married a POC. As a Black woman, I’ve seen this situation play out plenty of times where people are ‘nice’ to POC but heaven forbid their son or daughter marry one of us; the flip side is that some white folks consider some of us “acceptable” and others not (racist people can love their mixed race grandkid but still be racist in general).

      • Erinn says:

        I mean – I believe that. I think there’s a lot of cattiness from both men and women in that family. But I see it more as the people lower down the pole being bent out of shape over someone – anyone – moving ahead of them that they don’t deem to be ‘impressive’ enough or ‘suited’ enough for the role. And I don’t doubt that there’s plenty of racism in that family. I suspect they were nasty to Kate in the beginning, and I do believe that they would automatically be more annoyed by Meghan’s existence than Kate’s because people are garbage. I think mainly – I don’t really believe that the immediate family types are as in a full blown war as the media is hoping we believe. I’m sure they all annoy the crap out of each other – most families do from time to time – but I don’t think the siblings and parents are in a huge battle to the death.

        I am curious about Phillip though. Obviously he’s had a lot of free flying racist behavior/comments over the years – I wonder what he thinks of Meg. Is it a case of him being surprised that she’s lovely – or does he just actually still dislike her based on her race. Old people are strange that way – the ones that have lived so long in their privileged white people lives where nobody really called them out for their behavior and where they’ve been insulated and really not spent time with people from other backgrounds, cultures or ethnicity… it seems like some of them are just outright still asshats, while others suddenly kind of have a minor epiphany and just consider the person who married into the family as being ‘different’ from the people that they still hold so much prejudice for. I know my gram is 93 … we’ve corrected her on a lot of words and attitudes over the years. There’s a lot of “oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize” and I think she’s genuine about it most of the time. She’s not someone who actively tries to be a jerk – but she says things that really haven’t evolved with society at times. I love her to death, but some days it’s tiring. And honestly… she’s gotten better. She’s actually started showing up to the gay pride parade that takes place in the park next door, she’s started choosing the ‘correct’ words for people rather than the dated more negative ones. And overall, she’s a genuinely kind person. She’s never treated someone as ‘less than’ because of their race or sexual orientation, and she does try to be thoughtful more and more with what she says. I know Phillip isn’t really in that same category though – he’s been unchecked for the most part, and he’s living in such a position of power/notoriety that nobody really has been able to call him out in the way we’ve called out my grandmother. Beyond that – he’s so insulated by his own family and status that he’s been able to get away with the kinds of views he’s had because he’s just in the middle of rich white people land in his day to day life.

      • Mary says:

        +10000! I also would not trust the Queen to counsel Meghan wisely, or really even care to if it meant ruffling other family members’ feathers. As for the other POC in the family, are you referring to the Maori at whose wedding not one senior royal attended? Not a very big show of support was it? They did, however, show up end masse for his sister-in-laws wedding. I do believe her husband is white.

      • Tina says:

        The Queen is 92, so I’m sure she’s not particularly progressive by modern standards. But she has been progressive by the standards of her generation. The one and only time she has been political (and she really, really isn’t supposed to be) was when she let it be known in the 1980s that she opposed Thatcher’s apartheid appeasement policies.

        If Meghan really wanted to get close to the Queen, there is one surefire way to do it – an interest in racing. Go to Cheltenham, Meg.

      • Mary says:

        @div; tina: I think Meghan would be wise to keep her distance from family members that may be leaking or having their households leak on their behalf (I am looking at you Ma’am). These people do not have Meghan’s best interests at heart; and, one goal of the leakers seems to be to crush Meghan’s spirit so she will fall in line and not shine. Diana once went to the Queen for help, the Q basically shrugged her shoulders (Charles is impossible) and was no help to Diana at all. Not even emotionally. The Q seems to have no problem leaving Meghan to the wolves. Just as she did Diana.

      • Div says:

        I don’t believe things are really that frosty between the Sussexs and Kate. I can believe some of this is coming from Wills—for a long time, whenever he got bad press something would mysteriously drop about Harry in the press to take the heat off Wills. And I suspect most of it is coming from Andrew and the York girls.

        The thing that makes me believe that all of this tabloid mess, whether it’s fake, semi fake, exaggerated stories, or a combo of all three, is connected to upper royals, and not down on the pecking order, is because it hasn’t been shut down. The firm can’t keep a lid on all bad press, especially when it’s scandalous, but nothing is scandalous here about Meghan—and the firm does a remarkably good job at minimizing backlash in the Daily Fail, among others, for their favorites like Prince Andrew. If an upper royal was unhappy with all the tabloid stories, most of them would tamp down—and they have not.

        Prince Phillip, imo, isn’t like your grandmother or even Prince Charles when it comes to prejudice. Prince Charles is say, the Mitt Romney or Joe Manchin, when it comes to racism, compared to Phllip’s Donald Trump. Prince Phillip has been exposed to different cultures, traveled the world, but I believe his cocooning in an all white, very elite society and the fact that no one has ever checked him has contributed to the fact that his racism runs rampant. Other try and reform and educate themselves; Phillip has never seemed to do so.

      • Tina says:

        The Queen is 92, and this is not the sort of trivial gossip that the Queen concerns herself with. Thinking that she is involved in these leaks is delusional.

        And Prince Philip is more like George HW Bush than Trump. Everyone who fought in WWII was racist by modern standards – the widespread use of the J word for Japanese people being but one example.

      • Mary says:

        @DIV; Tina. Div, I agree, the higher ups could shut this down but have not. To me, a royal acquiescing to the leaking (& not stopping it when they could) is as bad as the actual leaking. By their actions, or inactions, they are sanctioning the smear campaign. This is not a minor affair. This campaign has, and will continue to, provided fodder for all the racist and/or xenophobic and/or sexist and/or right-wing but jobs out there hell bent on making Meghan’s life miserable. This will not go away on its own. TINA, what a bizarre statement you make by saying that everyone that fought in WWIi was a racist by today’s standards! Sorry, you cannot excuse the Queen and Prince Philip’s bad behaviour by saying, well, everyone was like that. I personally knew people that fought in WWIi that were not. There were shitty people then just like there are today. There were also very noble, heroic people. Finally, let us just agree to disagree on whether the Queen sanctioned some leaks to keep Meghan in line. Your calling me “delusional” is a little over-the-top don’t you think? You are coming across like a rabid fan of the Queen who thinks she poops violets.

      • Tina says:

        @Mary, the US Army in WWII was officially segregated. Some of the words that the vast majority of white people used back then would make one a racist by modern standards. I’m not excusing anyone’s behaviour but it is a fact that the Queen and Philip are from a different generation. Being heroic does not excuse you from being racist – Philip is a case in point. He was a genuine Royal Navy hero who rescued his men on multiple occasions. He has also said racist things. They are not mutually exclusive. (And the Queen has not ever been accused of saying similar things).

        And you can think that the Queen sanctioned these leaks if you like, but it is not a logical thing to think. I never thought of myself as a rabid fan of the Queen – I don’t like how she had the Andrew/Epstein stories killed – but maybe I am. I’m ok with that at this point.

      • Anitas says:

        Didn’t the Queen praise Phillip’s ‘unique sense of humour’ in her Christmas message last year I think? I thought it was quite outrageous given she must have known he was publicly recognized as a bigot who constantly comes up with something offensive or inappropriate, and a major PR liability. Racists are often all about offensive stereotypes whilst being friendly to individual minority members (like, “Immigrants are scroungers and criminals! Not you of course, but those other ones”) so it wouldn’t surprise me if he were on friendly terms with Meghan.

    • Mary says:

      Geez Tina, what a way you have in twisting what I said. I said that I knew people that fought in WWII that I believe we’re not racist by today’s standards. I did not refer to an institution, like the army. Maybe in your world every single person you knew that fought in the war used racial epithets. Not in mine. I also used the term heroic to refer to a bravery evinced when conducting oneself, even when it is maybe not the norm or easy, in such a way so as to value everyone you encounter. I was not talking about bravery in battle. Seriously, I feel sorry for you; and, can you please stop stalking me in these articles? It is getting a bit weird, I comment on something and you jump on me. Your hardpn is maling e uncomfortable. #metoo.

      • Tina says:

        This is a public forum. I’ve been commenting here for years. You appear to be new. I comment when I have something to say, or when I agree or disagree with something someone else has said. Say sensible things, and I won’t reply disagreeing with them.

    • Sarddin says:

      The Queen adores Andrew, an absolute piece of sh*t before you even get to the child sexual assaults. She’s not exactly a good judge of character.

    • Princessk says:

      I don’t think that the Queen forms very close relationships with people. She has been trained not to get too emotionally involved and that involves keeping everyone at arms length. She adores Harry though.

  3. HK9 says:

    Dear God, when will all this nonsense stop? The woman has been working as she should. It’s not perfect but nothing ever is. I don’t think they’ll be happy with anything she does, so at this point, I think she should just continue on and turn a deaf ear to the bitching.

    • anniefannie says:

      I’m with you HK9! As my sister always says
      “ It’s only a game if everybody’s playing!”
      Meghan should carry on, turn a deaf ear to these rumors and leaks ( she used to it with those awful relatives ) and the press will move on to the next victim.

    • Kittycat says:

      Completely true

    • LeahTheFrench says:

      I really don’t understand the hostility toward Meghan. I I don’t follow the Royals very closely but she seems to be doing a perfectly good job. I have become quite admirative of her, actually. I was not a huge fan of her as an actress – she was fine on Suits but not exceptional (to be fair, she was not given much to work with, in my opinion. The writers on that show never really bothered to develop her character beyond that of the “love interest”.) But I feel that she’s demonstrated a lot of dignity, poise and grace in the run-up to her wedding, and I truly like that her work ethics is so strong. She has associated with charities that reflect her interests and opinions and that’s how it should be. To me she feels like a breath of fresh air and modernity for the royal family, and that’s good for everyone. Am I the only one to think that she’s actually really, really good as what she does as a “royal” – or whatever the job title is?

      • Ellaus says:

        She has been doing great, she is always engaged, knows what she is saying and is truly charismatic. I hope she continues working as she is doing now, but I am afraid that the monarchy as an archaic system doesn’t like and tends to resist change and modernization. So maybe what this leak pretends is to suggest not that Meghan is doing a bad work (she isn’t, she is doing a crear one) but that she should adapt to the mold and rules of the brf as Sophie did. And if you tie this leak to the ones talking about her demanding ways, maybe this is a public way of encouraging her to look at how the system works, learn the ropes and master the ‘duchessing’ as the rules are now and in a while add her touch.
        Sophie and Anne, are good examples as what to do; and yes looking at them and following cue is not a bad idea.

    • Bluthfan says:

      As a huge Meghan fan, I’m bummed to see she’s pretty much slowed down her public appearances since getting back from their tour. I wonder if that was dictated by the Queen or if she isn’t feeling well or what.

      • Tina says:

        We’ve always been told that the royals set their own schedules. The Queen would not have dictated Meghan’s engagements, as she does not dictate anyone else’s.

  4. Claire Voyant says:

    Meghan would do well to keep doing as she is doing. Chin up Megs.

  5. Becks1 says:

    Can you imagine if Meghan popped over to see the Queen without an invitation – like how that would play out in the press. “Who does she think she is” and “she thinks she can just WALK INTO THE PALACE without an invitation” etc.

    Anyway – it seems that Meghan and the queen do get along, and I’m sure the Queen is pleased with Meghan’s work thus far – especially that tour – so while Meghan isn’t dumb and she should cultivate a relationship with the queen – it seems she is doing that.

    also, this is morbid but – like I said Meghan isn’t dumb – she prob is prioritizing a relationship with Charles and Camilla right now.

  6. Ronaldinhio says:

    The Queen will be no longer soon unfortunately. She would be well to continue to work honestly for charities she enjoys, to be happy and natural. She seems like the best thing to happen to the BRF for ages

    Camilla wields more power than we acknowledge and seems utterly normal. I’d head her way for advice on how to deal with the British press and public

    • burdzeyeview says:

      That is a really good point… Camilla has had the full barrage of press against her during the Diana years and will be QC when Charles takes the throne… Meghan would do well to make a good friend of Camilla who seems to me to be able to balance the royal life with a happy family one.

    • PitaBites says:

      This is what i was thinking too, Camila had a hard time being as accepted as she is now.

    • Himmiefan says:

      Yes, the Queen, Charles, and Camilla are the ones with the real power, and Meghan reportedly gets along great with them, and her work ethic is probably one reason. She needs to keep on keeping on.

  7. Coco says:

    This is just so far past ridiculous. I hate that every day there is a new crop of anti-Meghan stories. It’s gross and makes the entire BRF, regardless of who is behind it all, look bad. I’m American but if this is how this family acts towards one of their own then do away with the entire monarchy. Poor Meghan for having married into a family of immature babies (I’m sorry to insult babies) but the BRF make the Markles look halfway decent. At least they come out and directly say nasty things themselves instead of hiding behind “palace sources”. I’m pregnant right now and couldn’t imagine enduring all the stress of horrible family on both sides. Leave Meghan alone!!!

    • Jan says:

      I don’t think all of this is coming from the BRF. I think a lot of it is coming from the racist, sexist press. They have been after her from day 1. Look at how they ate up all the Markle Familt crap and published every word from them. I don’t believe all this “sources” crap either, just making it up!

      • Coco says:

        Completely agree that at least part of this mess is exaggerated fiction from the press. But at the very least some of it is coming from within the BRF or people that work for them. We’ve seen throughout the years the infighting and how the BRF uses the press too. It’s fair to say this nonsense is coming from somewhere within the palace walls and really started after the popular Australian tour and pregnancy announcement.

  8. Serphina says:

    I just don’t comprehend why the massive feeding frenzy on Megs. Im sure Kate is thanking her lucky stars it’s not her. But i wish she would do something – anything to show unity instead of seperation.

  9. Maya says:

    A pregnant woman doesn’t need this kind of stress.

    Media has always been sexist and racist because it is ruled by white men.

    Anyone remember the horrible smear campaigns against Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie, Princess Kate and Queen Letizia?

    The same thing is happening to Meghan. If a woman is intelligent, independent & strong, the media crusifies her.

  10. RBC says:

    Meghan may or may not have a frosty relationship with Will and Kate only the parties involved know and I doubt they will be speaking publicly anytime soon. But I do not think she went into this relationship and then marriage with Harry thinking it would be all roses and rainbows with her in laws. The British royal family has been on the gossip pages for decades and can be dysfunctional like any other family. Only their disagreements and conflicts make the gossip pages. There are always growing pains when first getting to know your new family, happens to everyone. You learn to be cordial, but also show that you are now part of the family. So any haters can just deal with it. After growing up with her own dysfunctional family, I am sure she can handle this bunch

  11. Nina Simone says:

    I wonder if she imagined it would be *this bad. I know Harry warned and prepared her, but I don’t think even he would have foreseen such unabashed vitriol and contempt from “unnamed sources”. And so constantly too. WHILE she’s pregnant. It’s really sad. I wonder if she’s rethinking the entire thing. Meghan girl I hope he was all worth all of this. As a woman of color I somewhat get what she’s enduring. To come into a predominantly white space and not only outperform and outshine everyone else, but doing it while being your own person does not sit well with *most white folks. Particularly from an old establishment like the BRF. I’m currently at a new job. Corporate consulting firm. I came in excelling and looking the part too. Commended by clients. And while I’ve been nothing but polite, kind, hard working and welcoming to my all white co workers, there’s already been rumors spread about me. For no other reason I’m sure than my color and it’s the most mundane things ever. In the past I questioned if it was worth it. The indignity and frustration of enduring it. But today I’m like nah ‘f that. I will excel and stay true to myself. Hope Meghan has this epiphany as well. <3

    • Serphina says:

      Nina stay strong. I agree that strong, accomplished and intelligent women are always crusified by the haters. God forbid you are able to work your way to where you are.

      Megs has a good head on her shoulders. But i agree, a pregnant woman doesn’t need to be dealing with this BS. Maybe that is why she has taken less appearances lately. She now has the baby to think of as well.

  12. Catherine says:

    Let’s not forget Prince Edwards and Sophie’s terrible behavior. Edward secret filming of William at university, after press was ordered to stand down. And Sophie recorded talking mad stttt about the Queen Mother and Camilla. Plus, shady business practices when she was still working. Those two are shady!!!

    • Levin says:

      Yes, all of that. But the Queen probably doesn’t mind shady, hence, Andy’s her baby boy still. I think being a little underhanded and a lot dysfunctional is never a deal breaker in this family.

    • Natalie S says:

      I have wondered if Sophie is bothered by Meghan. She has always been considered the Queens favorite married in and here’s Meghan laughing with the Queen and Doria has been invited to Christmas, just like Sophie’s dad.

      • Princessk says:

        Sophie’s position going forward is tenuous, she is desperate to remain relevant. I see her cosying up to Kate and William more as things go forward.

  13. Cerys says:

    Life with the royals can’t be easy. However nurturing a relationship with the Queen, Camilla and Sophie would not be a bad thing. A few joint engagements with one or all of these ladies would send a strong signal that Meghan is supported within the Firm.

  14. Piper says:

    Being 37, and pregnant with your first child, worry if she’s had any preeclampsia or high blood pressure with the pressure all around her.

    Piers Morgan reminds me of the sexist/racist feeding frenzy that loves to see you suffer then pretends it wasn’t them at all afterwards. Because Meghan being brisk to a staffer or asking for a tiara is surely worth all of this *eye roll*

  15. Princessk says:

    Meghan apparently went ‘privately’ to the SouthBank Centre last night where Michelle Obama had an audience. They had a meeting back stage. What wonderful timing for this to happen.

    I knew all this would backfire on the Cambridge’s.

    • Bluthfan says:

      Yeah, I saw that and was really pleased to see them meet. Michelle is about the only one to understand what Meghan’s life is like now. Michelle had her fair share of supposed allies smearing her in the press so she can help Meghan handle it all.

  16. Mego says:

    This would not be a helpful strategy for Meghan. Also how accessible would the Queen be anyway? Prince Charles OTOH would and she could find more common ground with him on which to build a relationship.

  17. burdzeyeview says:

    Its press karma at work – because of the loathing William and Harry have had for them they were treated like the enemy. But you know what they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. They’re attacking Meghan to annoy Harry – she hasn’t done anything wrong. The BRF cant ignore it though, they need to up their game and get the “Fab Four” out and about working their socks off proving that they have a duty to the country and get the public on-side.

  18. Lilly (with the double-L) says:

    Well, she did meet with Michelle Obama last night…

  19. Mary says:

    @Tina, my comments above did not post. I just wanted to point out that your calling another poster delusional and saying their comments are not sensible, just be cause you don’t agree with them, is bad enough but your stalking is over the top. You say you are merely responding but to latch onto every comment in alternatively hostile and dismissive manners is indicative of more, I.e. a problem. Get help!!!

    • Tina says:

      Mary, it’s usually best to change your commenting name before pretending to be someone else.

      • Tina says:

        Well, I apologise for misunderstanding your comment. Some advice: when you first post on a new forum, it’s generally best not to come in guns blazing and calling other posters stalkers. As I said above, I’ve been commenting here for years and never had a problem with anyone before.

  20. Jill says:

    I don’t think the American audience quite understand that the barrage of press is actually a method of The Firm to ‘manage’ behaviour so to speak and remind people of their rank within the hierarchy. This has nothing to do with her race, work ethic or whatever else theories are there. Even Lady Diana and Fergie has felt its wrath – and even they did not win. The Firm likes to operate a certain way and anyone who joins that gilded cage WILL follow their rules no exemptions. It seems to me the comments mistake the Sussexes to be on equal footing with the Cambridges because of the similarity of courtesy titles which they are absolutely NOT. The Cambridges are the Future King and Queen, the Firm’s Priority. The Sussexes are way below the pecking order given the distance from the throne and Harry is the future Andrew. There will NEVER be a time when the Cambridges will NOT be given priority as the Future King and Queen and everyone will be sacrificed for them simply because that is how the Firm has operated for hundreds of years. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but that is how that gilded cage operates and with a system that’s had centuries of years practice, NO ONE can hope to win against that system. If you’re not the Future King or Queen, you better sit down.