Don’t worry, Julia Roberts ‘finds life and her holes get better with age’

Julia Roberts at arrivals for BEN IS BAC...

A month ago, I thought Julia Roberts was going to be everywhere during the awards season, because of her miniseries Homecoming, and because of her performance in Ben Is Back. I mean, if Julia Roberts obviously does an Oscar-bait or Globes-bait film or TV project, awards shows will line up to nominate her, right? Wrong. Julia’s projects were completely snubbed at the Golden Globes and the Critics Choice Awards. But there are no worries, people. Julia is fine. I know Julia is fine because the Jamestown New York Post-Journal ran this glorious headline: “Julia Roberts Finds Life And Her Holes Get Better With Age”

Epic. Only true movie stars will find that their holes get better with age. Goose honk for Julia’s brilliant holes! Obviously, the Post-Journal ran a low-key correction:

But that didn’t stop a lot people from recognizing the importance of one’s holes getting better with age. It’s the new aspiration, to humble-brag about the quality and Oscar-worthiness of one’s holes. I feel sorry for the Post-Journal peeps, because it happens to all of us who write/edit for a living. I make dumb mistakes like this every day, although thank God I’ve never written “holes” for “roles.”

Julia Roberts at arrivals for BEN IS BAC...

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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54 Responses to “Don’t worry, Julia Roberts ‘finds life and her holes get better with age’”

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  1. Jessica says:

    What was the context of the Article?

  2. Mia4s says:

    I’m no Julia fan, but this is as the best laugh I’ve had in awhile. Hopefully she laughed too.

    • Nancy says:

      I can guarantee she’s not laughing. She was quite the diva in her day. I just looked this up. While filming Hook, she was such a diva and bitch, the crew called her Tinkerhell. This was shortly after she left Kiefer Sutherland at the alter. He sure dodged a bullet even if her so-called holes got better!

      • Melly says:

        I remember reading about how difficult she was to work with. I never got how she was America’s sweetheart or why she was considered such a good actress.

      • Nancy says:

        I think the reason she shot to fame so quickly was Pretty Woman. For some reason, women around the country loved to see a prostitute get glorified. I’ve watched it and only came back with Richard Gere sure was good looking! I personally think her true character was more like Jules in My Best Friend’s Wedding. Look up how she treated her husband’s wife at the time, Vera, when she decided she wanted him. Not a good person imo.

      • minx says:

        Can’t stand her and I agree that she has no sense of humor about herself. I hated, HATED Pretty Woman and the notion that prostitution is the way to get a rich guy to buy you everything and marry you.

      • Nancy says:

        Thank you minx! I can’t tell you the number of “disagreements” I’ve had over this film while working my way through college. So many women loved this movie with a passion. I guess she was a nice call girl because she flossed her teeth! If more people were on the thread, we’d get knocked off, because I know through experience how a certain generation of woman loved this movie and her character. Not me. She sucks!

      • Lilly (with the double-L) says:

        I haven’t liked her in forever, but she is an extremely smart example of how to disappear (a bit), do indy type of work, appear humble and cause people to forget what a jerk you are and become beloved once more. She’s one of the few I’ve witnessed be pretty unscathed by her cheating ways. She could teach Matt Damon et. al. a thing or two. I’d watch that TED Talk even if I’m skipping her movies and other work. One of the basic tenets is likely allow Ellen to do whatever she wants to you on her show, which is kind of a career reward and penance at the same time.

      • Jazzmoves says:

        She left Kiefer at the altar because she caught him with strippers a few days before the wedding! So she ran off with Jason Patric or whatever his name is (Speed 2 guy).

      • Jazzmoves says:

        I agree with you, Nancy and Minx. I remember my classmates, as a teen, cooing over the fairytale story of Pretty Woman. It IS a seedy story once you strip away the fantasy and it only serves to show how well HW can spin things.

  3. Esmom says:

    Omg. I was a copy editor at my college newspaper and writing headlines was part of my job. I would have been out on my ass if I had made a mistake like that. Every morning I would scan my articles looking for errors I might have missed, it was so damn stressful.

    • Honeybadger says:

      In the last eight years, copy editors have been the first laid off at newspapers. I know, I was one of them. In addition, those who are “editing” are overworked and underskilled for what the job requires. That’s how stupid mistakes are being made.

      • Esmom says:

        I’m sorry you were laid off, I’m sure it was scary and demoralizing.

        Yes, it’s apparent that those jobs have been cut. Our town’s local reporter, who works for one of Chicago’s big papers, is a reporter, writer, photographer and editor. She is always around, seemingly working around the clock. I don’t know how she does it and I’m sure her pay is nothing to write home about.

    • megs283 says:

      I was the editor in chief at my college newspaper. Friday – the day the paper hit the stands – was always the WORST day. I spent the whole day waiting to see if someone would tell me I screwed up something.

      • BANANIE says:

        I moved from a magazine where I was editing (toxic work environment) to a magazine where I’m a reporter and … no one does the editing?

        I’ve read things on our website that make my skin crawl, whether it’s a typo, incorrect grammar or just idiotic things like an “addition” of the magazine rather than “edition.” People also like to use fancy words yet have no clue what they mean.

        I’ve tried to bring this to my supervisor’s attention — he’s supposed to be the editor — and he gets extremely defensive. I want to know how I can offer to lend a hand without making him feel insecure. Any ideas?

      • Lilly (with the double-L) says:

        @BANANIE good luck, that’s a tough one. What’s worked for me in those situations is tons of flattery and things like “I’m sure you already thought of this and…” making sure to avoid the “but” word. Defend/praise his work in front of others. Realistically though, it’s hard to stomach that long term, unless he turns out to be an okay guy and actually improves as a human being from this, many get more smarmy. Just about a year ago I started working for myself and if I’m dealing with difficult people I know it’s usually for two weeks tops. There is a lot of satisfaction from a great product, though, despite this. There’s a great book called Feminist Fight Club, which I don’t have to hand, or I’d probably be quoting from it to you. I would recommend looking for it and seeing if it would be a useful handbook for you.

  4. Veronica S. says:

    The writer in me is screaming, though. How many editorial hands did that pass through before it was printed??

    • Honeybadger says:

      Probably none. Newspapers are understaffed these days, and copy editors have been the first laid off for the past eight years.

      • Veronica S. says:

        That would explain so much. This is almost as bad as the article the NYT ran a few years back describing a new trade plan as a “chink in the wall of Chinese-American trade.” *head in hands*

      • Christina says:

        And copy editing is a calling. Ethical journalism pulls a special kind of person who I am grateful exists. The kind of person who makes great personal sacrifices to get it right with the maximum available information they can find to support their reporting.

        Before the more recent layoffs, I was searching for jobs in my new city and saw errors in the paper. I’d been an English major and thought, “I can do this”, so I looked and ended my search in minutes. The entry level for the big town newspaper in a major metropolitan area was too low for me to survive and pay rent, and I’d just left a job at the L.A.Times as a contract researcher. It made me sad for all of us. That was 20 years ago.

  5. KBeth says:

    That’s hilarious, best typo ever. How did they not catch that????
    Anyone with a sense of humor would have fun with it but I susect Julia is pissed. Lol.

  6. Lightpurple says:

    Her nostrils have always been among her more prominent features

  7. Raina says:

    The reason it may not have been caught is because not everyone read the actual article and possibly assumed Julia with her t.m.i literally meant holes.
    I’ve spoken about my holes.
    At least they didn’t put ass in front of it.

    • Anners says:

      Lol! I honestly thought it was some new-agey, goopy expression about how she was coming to terms with and loving the so-called holes in her life. It took me a second to realize it was a typo. She’s such a pretentious twat.

      • Raina says:

        Ha!!i ALWAYS feel like I’m behind on expressions.
        It took me a second to realize holes wasn’t intended
        My mind was racing; Does she mean people in her life, like black holes, is she getting a piercing, is it an orifice thing??
        Lol. I went EVERYWHERE with it.
        That said, this will at least give A Low Vera some publicity.
        With her stuck up ass.

        #NEVER forget
        #can’thelpit

      • Anare says:

        Yes a 1000x Yes. I read that headline and wondered what drivel she was offering about her holes. 😂. Cannot stomach this woman.

  8. Renee2 says:

    I feel like this was deliberate? H is not near r on the keyboard…

    • Christina says:

      Lol. Good point. She’s not appreciated in some, (clears throat), circles. Some Hollywood types never have gossip because they are good to everyone they meet. The ones who have tales following them around do because the people who endure them talk about it.

    • BrutalEthyl says:

      That was exactly my thought. I imagine Julia was her usual diva self during the interview and the reporter initially made a Freudian slip, but then realized it was gold and left it. And truthfully, when I read the headlines, I could totally see Julia saying something that ridiculous about herself and her “holes.” Wouldn’t want anybody to think she was drying up, right?

    • Agenbiter says:

      Or it was an unfortunate autocorrect

  9. lucy2 says:

    I can see typos getting through, especially if the place is rushed and understaffed, but that is a BIG headline font, and I can’t believe no one glanced at it and was like whoa!

    • alyssa calloway says:

      I think people just go through motions and don’t really read the actual words during publication.

  10. Anastasia says:

    At first I thought she said that. That’s the only thing that got me to click on a Julia Roberts article. LOL. Can’t stand her.

  11. adastraperaspera says:

    Belly laugh!

    • Kaye says:

      adastraperaspera, are you from Kansas? I lived there for 20 years and recognize the phrase as Kansas’ state motto.

      • Lady D says:

        I looked the phrase up once, I was curious about it. It has a cool meaning and I didn’t know Kansas was using it as their state motto.

  12. Vanessa says:

    I laughed hard. And btw, what is going on with that forehead vein in the first photo. Jc, it looks like she’s about to stroke out.

    • elle says:

      That picture is rather frightening. She looks like she’s about to unhinge her jaws and let a demon out.

    • Tessy says:

      Why are you both picking on the vein in her head and unhinged jaw, It’s cruel she CAN’T HELP IT!!!!

  13. Mira says:

    I clicked because I thought that she really said that. My first thought was “Uh, this is not how you win an Oscar… but what do I know.”

  14. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Holes don’t get better with age. No holes. Erosion and entropy are the only constants, so if her holes are maintaining integrity it’s because she has a hole doctor.

    • Agenbiter says:

      There are other ways that holes could be getting ‘better’ –
      but it’s good that the nation can finally have this conversation!

  15. Jazzmoves says:

    I actually don’t mind Julia. Came of age in the late ’90s and loved her smaller hits like The Pelican Brief, Dying Young, Flatliners, and Steel Magnolias as a very young teen. I look back on her reign with nostalgia – though recognise she’s probably not someone you’d want as a neighbour – and compared to some of the stars out there today, she has some good points like not using her kids for PR and not acting thirsty and pap-walk-y unless she’s promoting a film. She’s done some very good films since the ’90s as well.

    • Nev says:

      Me too!!! Dying Young is my favourite movie. I cry everytime.

    • Cas says:

      I feel this way too – and I remember when My Best Friend’s Wedding was her ‘comeback’ role and how great it was at the time. 20 years ago now!

  16. msd says:

    Since Weinstein, I side eye any rumours that describe a woman in Hollywood as “difficult”. Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. One thing’s for sure, women are regularly labelled as “divas” or “bitches” for things men get a free pass on. Or worse, for being even ever so slightly ambitious or assertive.

    • Wilder says:

      This is such a great point, msd. I’ve never been a big Julia Roberts fan but I think her rise to stardom was so fast and out of control that it’s only natural she put up a few defences and may have been cold or aloof at times — she was only 19 when Pretty Woman came out, it must have been overwhelming. (I hear Ryan Gosling is very aloof on set, but I’ve never heard anyone call him an asshole.)

      However, I do think the the adoration and attention from powerful Hwood men went to her head and she believed she was the sh** for a long time. The whole thing with Danny Moder’s ex-wife was pretty ugly. Still, I agree with what Jazzmoves said above, that since getting married and having kids, Julia’s been good at staying out of the limelight, and you never see her kids. I give her props for that.