Terry Crews is currently on two number one shows on NBC. He returns to his role as Sgt. Jeffords on Brooklyn Nine-Nine and as host of America’s Got Talent: Champions (he replaced Tyra Banks). So he’s been doing a flurry of publicity, like follow back campaigns on Twitter and appearing on various talk shows to promote his programs. Sunday, he stopped by Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. One of the viewers’ questions was “Whose support surprised you the most when you spoke out about the sexual assault that you experienced?” Terry’s answer: Black women.
What he explained was:
To be honest with you, when it first happened, there was none, for a long time. But, I have to say this: the people that surprised me the most were Black women. Black men did not want any part of it.
All my support came from Black women, straight up. And that’s kind of wild. It shocked me. It shocked my family. It shocked everyone. Because I thought, here I am as a Black man saying some things that we’ve all been through, and a lot of guys was just like, ‘Man, you’re weak. You’re sorry. You should have hit him. You should have knocked him out. You should have did all this stuff.’ And Black women were like, ‘No, no. It doesn’t work like that.’ Right? And I was shocked at the split within my own community. It was deep.
I noticed two things. When Terry paused to answer, his face grew somber. You can tell how close to the surface this still is for him. Anyone who has experienced assault knows that look, when you are forced to go back to any part of it. It broke my heart a little. The second is that, unlike Terry, I am not at all surprised that black women were the first to support him. We had a dinner guest, a friend of a friend I’d not met prior, who detailed how many times she and other black women were the first to champion or lend their voices to a cause they believed in. And yet, when they crusaded for themselves, no one had their back, including black men. It was an eye opener for me so I guess I can’t fault Terry for not seeing it until now. It sounds like maybe the reason he was surprised was not because they supported him, but because of the way they pushed back on the men who weren’t.
In March of last year, Old Spice publicly supported Terry and his fight against his sexual assault. Old Spice and Gillette are both owned by Proctor & Gamble. So when I saw the Gillette short confronting male toxicity, a cause Terry has spoken out about since waking up to his own issues with it, I was impressed. When I saw they included Terry and his message in it, I got teary. I’ve watch this three times and I’ve gotten a lump in my throat each time. Terry comes in at :53 but watch the whole thing if you can, it’s quite affective (and Piers Morgan, Ricky Gervais and all the other yobs can take a long walk off a short pier with their backlash bs).
Terry is so fun. I love his live tweeting during his shows, especially the crossover references:
SORRY FOR THE SILENCE I WAS EATING YOGURT.
I AM BACK! #AmericasGotTerry #TerryGotSomeYogurt
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 15, 2019
Photo credit: WENN Photos, YouTube and Twitter
Kudos for being a stand-up guy.
Was surprised that so many folks on Twitter reacted negatively to these ads? They great and makes distinction about real men
Luv him.
The reaction on Twitter from both men AND women shows how far we still have to go.
This is the best response I’ve seen on Twitter:
“If you are a man who is upset about the Gillette commercial, you should smile more. You are so much prettier when you smile.”
bluesky that one was good. I also like “turns out Gillette isn’t the best for sensitive skin”.
BURN.
anyone who has a problem with those ads is EXACTLY WHO THEY’RE TARGETING.
dumb f*cks.
Exactly. It’s so incredibly depressing. It’s just willful ignorance at its absolute worst and I cannot deal with it anymore. I sometimes really wish I hadn’t had kids because this world is a cesspool.
Amen. It’s a weird world when some of these mega corporations are championing decent values and so many loud voices are getting offended. Kudos to Terry and everything he has been doing. People like him give me hope. And I love Brooklyn 99!
I was a little unsure of the ad at first, not because I disagreed with the message, but it seems almost like it belittled the message a by opportunistically using it to sell razors.
But I’ve come to the conclusion that the more frequently people hear this message, the more chances it has to get through to people. So I don’t care if it’s just a ploy that Gillette hopes to profit from, I fully support this message being anywhere and everywhere, because for some people, maybe the 19th time they hear it won’t mean anything, but the 20th time the message will break through and they’ll take it to heart.
It enrages me that any man watching that Gillette commercial would see it as an attack – and quite honestly, I’d like to see women avoid any man that does like the plague. Any person who sees this as an attack is obviously upset because they engage in similar behaviors, or their buddies do. And I’m so sick of protecting the wittle feewings of these men who somehow still do the mental gymnastics in their head that men SHOULDN’T feel things.
Ricky Gervais’ BBQ joke was at least a little bit funny. But he knows the kind of people he’s riling up with that, so it’s still annoying.
For Gervais that was a supportive joke.
“Any person who sees this as an attack is obviously upset because they engage in similar behaviors, or their buddies do.”
YES YES YES YES YES! poor little broflakes.
It’s literally impossible not to think that. Because if you’re not engaging in that behavior, wouldn’t you just keep scrolling because it doesn’t apply to you? Why would you feel attacked unless you engaged in some of the behavior that we are calling out?
It was so disappointing to see some men that I follow on Twitter pulling a #NotAllMen, especially two seemingly woke black men who are smart enough to know better. Much like #NotAllWhitePeople is used to undermine and invalidate the collective conversation about race, #NotAllMen is used to shift the conversation from women’s very real experience with toxic masculinity to some perceived bullshit *male martyr* narrative. STOP IT. Stop trying to minimize other people’s experiences and STOP trying to make the conversation about YOU. Just LISTEN FFS. Sit back, LISTEN and SUPPORT.
I’m glad they also showed boys fighting each other in the ad – you’d think that’d be more eye opening for the bros who don’t get it. But whatever. Trash people are going to be trash. My husband watched the ad and was like “wait… what… people are upset over this?” completely baffled because it SHOULD be so inoffensive. It’s as if some people were just absent over the last year and a half.
One of my FAVORITE Twitter experiences is when Terry liked one of my comments…dragging somebody that was trying to drag him….OH NO YOU WILL NOT…NOT ON MY WATCH!
But that’s who we are…that’s what we do…what we’ve ALWAYS done…and I think the thing that trips him ALL THE WAY OUT…is that we will ride for our Brothas…but they will NEVA ride for us…
But that’s alright….there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule…and Terry is EXCEPTIONAL…
And reading what he said about Black women…MADE ME BAWL…and it’s TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR ALL OF THAT!!!!
I love Terry, I love that ad..and it really pains me to see and hear about how little support black women receive 🙁
Black men are just as toxic as other men. They support Bill Cosby and R Kelly but are silent or often lead the charge against black women. We have always been expected to support our men no matter right or wrong and it is pathetic. I have always liked and admired Terry, he’s a stand up guy.
Not as an expression of himpathy or whataboutism, but just to engage a point: I think it’s hard for black men, other PoC, and white people to recognize the contributions of black women because they have been conditioned by the white patriarchy to expect and ignore our anger. At best, our anger is funny and entertaining, as evidenced by how it is depicted in the media (even the Auntification of Maxine Waters is sooooooo demeaning). At worst, it’s threatening and we have to be “punished” for it.
I think we expect *more* from black men because of the shared experience of slavery and its after effects (which is just one reason of many complex individual and collective explanations for this expectations), but not only is the black male response to black women and their needs a direct after effect of slavery, but it is a signal that they benefit more from patriarchy than egalitarianism.
What you’re saying makes a ton of sense and it also, I think, extends to what should be solidarity that white women show black women because of that shared experience of toxic masculinity and misogyny.
But white women (I’m one of them) historically haven’t shown up for black women, and that’s shameful and unjust.
This is why the concept of intersectionality is so important, and also (IMO) why the struggle against both racism and sexism needs to foreground and focus on the experiences of women of color. Their suffering (and their long history of resistance) are absolutely at the center of things.
I like this ad. A lot.
I love Terry Crewes. More than a lot.
Same here—on both counts.
I have SO much admiration for Terry’s courage. It is hard to speak up the first time, but to keep talking when people think it’s time for you to move on is that much harder. I’m so glad he refuses to feel ashamed or belittled—or go away.
When so many of us in the black community suffer trauma in big and small ways and sometimes repeatedly, it is easy to become inured to the pain and be desensitized even to what others are going through. So even if he doesn’t get justice for himself, he’s doing a huge service by helping to de-stigmatize speaking out about abuse.
Black woman are programmed from birth to support black men.
(As a black woman) Its sad that when they need help black men are silent for the most part.
(Black woman here) They’re silent when other black men need help and they’re silent about any issues regarding black women. The nature of toxic/hyper masculinity in the black community needs to be addressed.
I’ve been in YouTube to learn more about this issue and its pretty sad.
I agree. As a black woman, I see this all time. This whole thing with R Kelly just brings it home. I’m really tired of all this dealing with fragile male egos. If you don’t engage in the behaviors then why would you feel threatened by this commercial or the MeToo movement?
Don’t you know that calling someone out for bad behaviour is worse than engaging in the behaviour in the first place? /s
Bingo – fragile male egos have been ruining the world for…forever.
Oh man, I did not expect my response to that Gillette ad. So many tears! Of course, I’m struggling to teach my ten year old boy to be a kind person and it is tough to counter all the messages he sees in the world that say the opposite. Damn
Black women doing WORK, as always. I feel so much for Terry…
Yes and yes.
Terry is great. I especially love his comments about Kevin Hart’s “victimhood”.
https://www.essence.com/celebrity/terry-crews-kevin-hart-oscar-host-apology/
I think the Gilette ad is brilliant, not because it’s calling out toxic masculinity but because they KNOW WHO BUYS THOSE RAZORS. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the majority of people actually buying the razors, either for themselves or for their male family members… are women.
Think about it. I don’t know a single man who lives with a female family member who a) buys his own underwear, undershirts, socks, deoderant, etc. The women tend to do more household shopping and thus, buy things for their men. Is there that much different between a Gilette razor and all the others? Probably not…but now there’s a new kind of brand recognition for Gilette.
Brilliant marketing and advertising, if you ask me.
Good point.
I know someone who was complaining that his wife hadn’t gone to the store because they had been out of some product at home for a while. My reply was “Oh, your car can’t stop there on the way home?”
I’m so happily single.
Also, Terry is the best. I admire his continued bravery in all this, and it’s so damn frustrating how little support he’s gotten.
“I don’t know a single man who lives with a female family member who a) buys his own underwear, undershirts, socks, deoderant, etc.”
*hand up*
Right here!
been with the bf for 25+ years, lived together for almost as long, and he buys his own stuff. also does his own laundry and ironing. only thing I do “for” him is cook, but he cooks for me, too.
but I get your point, and it’s a good one.
Now that’s a keeper!
I’ve never purchased any of those items for my husband. I have nagged him to toss out old ones before, but he will at least always go buy his own. The exception would be if I was buying myself socks on sale and texted him “hey you want sale socks?” haha. I ALSO make sure we BOTH grocery shop together (a luxury as we don’t have kids) so anything he needs that he can get at the grocery store or drug store is on him to pick up. And he’s a plumber, in a ‘manly man’ construction field, and I have never done his laundry FOR him. I’ll ask if he wants to throw a couple of shirts in to balance out a load, but he does the same for me. I’m heading home from work shortly to go prep our supper… which he’s then going to actually cook.
It makes me sad that this isn’t the norm.
Lord, that spot made me tear up.