I know these posts don’t get many comments, but I think this is an important conversation and I like to talk about it. Cobie Smulders is doing the press circuit for Friends from College, a Netflix series that is getting mixed reviews. She’s good at selling it though and I’m enjoying her interviews. Cobie, 36, had ovarian cancer at the age of 25. She first talked about it in 2015, which was several years post recovery. She gave some more interviews about it last fall when she got a pharmaceutical endorsement deal for a prohibitively expensive treatment drug. (I have mixed feelings about that and talked about it here.) The good news is that she’s been cancer free for 10 years and met her goal of having kids. She and her husband, SNL’s Taran Killam, have two daughters aged 9 and 3.
Cobie was on Busy Tonight, where she talked about the fact that she’s been cancer free for 10 years along with how she was diagnosed. She had insisted that she get an ultrasound after doctors were dismissive of her concerns. If she hadn’t done that, things could have turned out much differently for her.
What I will say to women is to know your body as well as you can. It is a hard disease to diagnose. The symptoms are like bloating, pressure. I was 25 when I got diagnosed. I was like ‘something’s not right.’ I went to doctor and demanded an ultrasound. There’s no way to screen for ovarian cancer. Then they found it. ‘No, no, you’re fine. You’re 25, you’re fine.’
After that she talked about the PSA she did with Tesaro, the company she’s working with. It’s excellent advice to ask for screening and to be your own advocate. Sadly that’s not accessible to everyone, particularly Americans. Last year an urgent care facility sent me to the ER as they suspected I had a kidney infection. I didn’t, I just had a bad reaction to the antibiotic I was on. The final cost, including a follow-up visit to a urologist and additional screening, was almost $3,000. I have silver level health insurance under Obamacare and it’s over $500 a month. Healthcare is irreparably broken in the US. Screening and treatment are often luxuries that people can’t afford.
Here’s Cobie’s interview:
Photos via Instagram and YouTube
I agree you need to know your body as well as possible, and fight when your intuition says something is wrong. Many studies have shown doctors ignore women’s complaints, particularly older women’s, much more than men’s. It’s a disgrace that a country of our wealth and status will not treat poor people, but many hard working folks aren’t being paid a living wage.
Be your own advocate, but also dispute your ER charges if they refer you to an ER and an out of area doctor treats you at an ER that is in your area and approved by your insurance. A lot of people don’t know to do this and it costs thousands extra!
Yes! This! My husband had to go to wound care for follow up after being in the hospital for several days. The wound care facility was in network but the doctor who treated him for his scheduled appointment was not. WTF? When we got the bill it was expensive and only after making phone calls did we find out why. We were livid and fought it and the charges were reversed because it wasn’t our fault. It’s such a screwed up system that you have to jump through so many hoops and ask so many questions up front to make sure you are receiving the right care. You must be your own advocate.
Some states like CA are passing laws that if you go to an in-network facility, the doctors and labs that treat you must abide by the in-network contract. It prevents the switcheroo that can happen, I think it should be a nation-wide law.
I have been sick with a thyroid disease for 15 years because doctors ignored me and told me to “just do more sports” ( i have very normal BMI). I am so fed up with doctors and their arrogance.. I got diagnosed a couple of years ago and I was right all along. My intuition told me that something was wrong, and it was, and if I had had proper doctors I could have been diagnosed so much earlier..
Particularly women of color.
Yes. We all must advocate for ourselves in the health arena, but women in particular have to be demanding. I have so many horror stories of doctors dismissing female relatives who had really serious problems.
Yes. There is research that women are often dismissed from doctors for being overreacting. In the European country I live you don’t get to see a doctor immediately . You will be assessed by the nurse and if she thinks you need it, you might see a GP and then get a referral for a specialized doctor. I have private insurance for travelling or I if get seriously ill suddenly.
And the thing is, we generally underestimate or under report the amount of pain we’re having, but doctors assume that we are overestimating the pain and exaggerating it. They don’t believe us when we say we hurt.
Men generally exaggerate and over report the pain they’re feeling, and doctors either believe them, or assume that they’re actually under reporting the amount of pain. So they get taken much more seriously and treated far earlier on in the progression of their disease or illness because doctors assume that a man in pain is a crisis while a woman in pain is a liar.
And it is especially difficult for women of color- a bunch of reports recently released indicate that women of color are routinely denied care at higher rates than any other demographic.
I know a 33 year old woman who just passed away from a very aggressive breast cancer. Her obgyn blew her off when she expressed concerns regarding 2 lumps. She was only 9 months postpartum & breastfeeding. She had to fight to get an ultrasound. They scheduled it weeks out. She fought to have it moved up & ended up having a biopsy the same week. A year later she asked for an additional pet scan after being declared cancer free. She was denied. She offered to pay out of pocket. Once she finally convinced them to repeat the scan, they learned it had spread to her liver. Sadly, she passed away last week after a very strong fight. Her legacy will live on to always trust yourself & your body! Always advocate for yourself!
This is terribly sad. How awful for her family.
That is absolutely heartbreaking and so messed up. Her poor child that now has to grow up without her. I’ve definitly been blown off by doctors, especially men and it’s disgusting. It’s like the idea that women are hysterical is still alive and well in the medical community. They gaslight you and make you think you are stupid or totally overreacting. At this point I pay way too much for healthcare to not have my voice heard or be concerned that I’m bothering them. Ladies, don’t ever let them make you feel crazy or like you are wasting their time.
that’s terrible. sorry for your loss and her family
That is heartbreaking on so many levels.
It’s truly devastating. She participated & spoke at many Susan G. Komen events/fundraisers. She was so involved & had a huge social media following due to her work. I cry often when I think of her family, mainly her child who will not remember her or her beautiful spirit.
I do believe her voice to be proactive & firm regarding your own health will save a life! Her husband has promised to continue this in her honor.
Jesus Christ that is sickening and heartbreaking, that’s rage inducing for me I cannot imagine what her family and friends must feel. I hope her doctors learned a lesson and stop thinking they know better when it comes to women, LISTEN.
I know her physician & I am truly shocked. Her physician is a 40-something woman/mother. I hope she’s learned her trust your patients. She’s not a bad physician, she just used very poor judgement. It’s just awful.
It’s incredibly unfortunate that she wasn’t screened right away, but to blame her doctor for her death is also very irresponsible. If you look at statistics of metastatic breast cancer in people, the average life span is 5 years. Upon further research, the younger you are diagnosed with breast cancer, the more likely it is to metastasize. My closest friend died at 36 from breast cancer. She had been diagnosed at 31. Cancer is a terrible thing. When people die from it, there are so many emotions and often times the medical professionals are blamed-except that they too are human. They do not control life or outcomes. The vast majority are doing everything they can to help save a person. Of course there are those who are negligible, that is what malpractice suits and complaints are for. Be your own advocate. Speak your mind. Find a physician you trust, which is different than one who agrees with everything you say. But in the world full of Google Mds, it’s hard…
Also PLEASE stop giving Susan Komen money! They do not fund money into research. What women need is medical research! Please do your research on what organizations do with their money.
If cancer remains confined to your breast, it is not terminal. It will not kill you. It is when it spreads to another part of your body – “metastasizes” – that it becomes fatal. Metastatic breast cancer kills women 99% of the time. It receives a mere 7%-9% of research funding. These women deserve better. Their husbands, children, and loved ones deserve better.
Pink ribbons aren’t finding a cure, y’all. No more awareness campaigns, please. It’s all about research. Think before you pink. List of research organizations:
METAvivor
Breast Cancer Resource Center
Noreen Frasier Foundation
Thank you for saying this. I was thinking the exact same thing. When young women get breast cancer it’s often more aggressive and the prognosis can be poor. There’s also a growing body of research that suggests early detection doesn’t improve life expectancy in most women with cancer. It’s a very difficult situation with no easy answers. More research and better treatments are needed.
Actually, Susan G. Komen did a lot for this family. I learned quite a bit about it. They even sent her & her husband to night out in a big city for a long needed date night.
Of course her doctor isn’t 100% to blame, but she said they brushed her off and it took forever to get the ultrasound etc. The woman had to fight for them to hear her when she knew something wasn’t right, she even offered to pay out of pocket! That’s why a small part of blame is on her doctors. I work in the medical field and it takes very little effort to refer someone for an ultrasound/mammo same or next day, especially when they have two lumps, I do them all day long. Maybe she would’ve died either way, but maybe not.
Yes on ditching Susan G. Komen. They partner to sell hot pink guns for fundraising and other terrible ideas, but almost none of their money actually goes to research. Additionally, their past 2 CEOs have been super problematic, spouting MAGA style anti-women rhetoric. No thanks.
Thank you for sharing her story. We need to continue to share these stories on public platforms, here on Celebitchy and by repeating our stories everywhere. The United States is the wealthiest country in the world and we don’t care about the vulnerable. At the same time, A’s comment is terrifying, because the year must be compassionate and experienced and be willing to refer you to a doctor. I am fortunate to have Kaiser Permanente health insurance. Not perfect, but they have nurse practitioners on staff to answer questions over the phone. I’ve been told it isn’t serious, or they’ve made a same-day phone appt with a doctor, or they told me to go straight to the hospital. They’ve set up a system that keeps people who don’t need to go to the ER out so that people who need it do. Kaiser isn’t perfect, and it was somewhat disasteruos in the 1970s, but they’ve made a lot of progress and I feel extremely fortunate to have it.
My mother drove herself to the hospital in Los Angeles. She told the ER triage nurse that she was having a heart attack. He snapped rudely that she was probably just having a panic attack. Then she passed out. Her next memory was feeling like she’d been beaten up. They had to use the paddles to restart her heart. The white male nurse sought her out to apologize. Doctors from all over the hospital visited her room because the story about how she drove herself instead of calling an ambulance and the nurse’s reaction to her had traveled the hospital. That was 16 years ago. A’s comment regarding research that women, particularly older women, are often accused of overreacting is very real and kills women every single day.
@idiotsgalore – read your post and immediately knew who you were talking about, but I’ve been off social media for January…googled her and am just heartbroken. I went to grad school with her and followed her journey optimistically over the past couple years. I’m so sad for her family, but what an advocate she was. I got my first mammogram this year because of her – thankfully all clear, but I don’t think I would have gone to the doctor if she hadn’t been such an amazing spokesperson (and person overall). You are right, she left an incredible legacy, but it’s still so sad.
Hugs to you!
Tragic consequences of a for-profit healthcare system.
What a terrible thing to have happened! And the fact that she had to fight every.step.of.the.way. Even after her 1st concerns were proven to be right, they still didn’t give weight to her concerns. I can’t believe they declared her cancer free without doing a scan first.
That’s so sad. And unfortunately, each of us could probably think of a case where something similar happened.
In my small city, there was a situation where a woman went to the ER because she was short of breath and nauseous, and just didn’t feel right. The ER gave her a once over, decided she was getting over a virus and sent her home for rest and fluids. She was back at the ER, this time brought by ambulance, and died that night as a result of the heart attack she had had earlier in the day. The ER completely missed it because she didn’t present with the typical “man having a heart attack symptoms” It was so sad, and her death could have been prevented if they had caught and treated it the first time she came into the ER.
The only bright spot is the hospital totally owned the mistake and vowed never to repeat it. They have instituted a new protocol so that women who present with shortness of breath or dizziness or nausea,or shoulder/jaw pain and other so called “atypical”* heart attack symptoms get a full cardiac work up. I know one woman who went to the ER after they changed their procedures and was diagnosed with a heart problem she had no idea she had, she was treated, got follow up and is doing great. I myself went in one day, dizzy, short of breath and having palpitations – the ER staff took it very seriously – I was in a bed with leads and monitors hooked up within 5 minutes of walking through the door. Thankfully, in my case it was low potassium, a side effect of a med I was taking. While that can be life threatening if not treated, some potassium supplements, a potassium rich diet and stopping the offending med had me right as rain in no time.
* atypical for middle aged me, pretty typical for women.
That’s awful! I hope that her family reported all of the doctors who didn’t take her seriously to the appropriate board or association – and their superiors where they work – so that they don’t do that to another woman.
North of Boston – That’s crazy that a hospital doesn’t understand that women have different heart attack symptoms than men do. They’re not “atypical.” Scary stuff.
I ended up with a ruptured eardrum because I had a doctor tell me I was “imagining” my ear pain. He suggested I go on psychiatric drugs after he refused to look in my ear.
I was experiencing abdominal pain on and off for months, when the pain became unbearable I was admitted to the hospital, where the doctor told me that my pain was most likely psychosomatic. Finally, they performed exploratory surgery where they discovered that I had an extremely septic gall bladder that was about to rupture. But not to worry, the doctor said that what happened to me only happens in 2% of cases.
Studies have shown that medical professionals are much much more likely to dismiss women’s medical complaints, whereas men’s complaints are usually taken more seriously. Probably due to some sort of ingrain misogyny that assumes that women are just whiners.
Sadly, if I had unlimited funds I would get lots of little check ups on things I have been putting off because I don’t want the inevitable thousands upon thousands of dollars doctor visits and specialists, and have it all for nothing(as in no surgery just checked up to be told ‘DEAL WITH IT, SORRY’)! Also I have good insurance!!!! How sad but this is America.
The problem with U.S. healthcare is the legacy from previous generations who abused the system. Now you have to fight aggressively to be heard and understood because of the current deafness by the insurance companies and physicians.
I think that that’s an excuse. You will always have the hypocondriac, the person who doesn’t want to go to work, the abusive patient etc. But the notion that you need to be dying for a doctor to pay attention to you is getting old as is that idea that abuse of the system has led doctors to de dismissive of patient’s needs. Medecine has to be casuistic, that is, juging and assessing case by case within a context.
Unless I am very ignorant of the context you are talking about which is also a possibility.
No. The problem is America maintains a for-profit healthcare system. These “abuses” are myths.
Totally! It’s a mess! Hospitals charging whatever, the bills nearly impossibly to understand, insurances covering or not covering treatments or hospital stays, surprising extra payments one has to make at the dentist and so on. A mess.
Exactly! The myth of “abuse” is just a talking point. I remember years ago when people we banging on about patients “abusing” the ER, which can get very expensive. Well guess what, if you can’t afford health insurance, don’t have a doctor who sees you (because you don’t have health insurance and can’t afford to pay for office visits), where are you supposed to go when you’re sick?
Funny, when they hooked frequent ER flyers up with a PCP, and preventive care, suddenly they no longer kept showing up at the ER.
That’s one of the things the ACA was intended to address before it was gutted: everyone has a PCP, everyone has access to free or low cost medical care, so that fewer people wind up having serious health issues that land them in the ER again and again.
The problem is that it’s also so hard to advocate for yourself in front of doctors!
For years my gyno told me a certain issue I was having was considered “normal” because there’s no explanation for it but it also doesn’t seem to do any harm.
cut to me post 2 reproduction courses (!!!) in vet school when the other shoe dropped, went to another gyno who tried to also tell me it was fine and only after I pressed her she said “yes, well, when you’ll want to have kids that could potentially be something you’ll have to take progesterone supplements for in early pregnancy”
I mean, how can we protect ourselves? the people we trust completely with our health just don’t give us the whole picture all the time and it’s especially dangerous for women who don’t have access to all the information.
Fellow American women, I feel for you.
Health insurance is so costly.
However battling doctors to be heard, especially gynecologists, is par of the course in the UK too.
The last time I had my coil taken out the doctor was pregnant and crancky and kept complaining about bad light. She yanked it out so fiercely that I though I would pass out.
Still haven’t had the guts to go back and put another one in.
I had an operation to extract an aparently benign ovarian cyst only to find out in the follow-up ultrasound that I had another one. When I went back to the doctor he said that he simply “emptied” it and that a month after my operation it was thus back to the same saze approximately.
Why did he tell he would extract it?
And before making the decision of just ‘extracting-emptying’ it, he had blankly looked at me saying I might as well just have a hysterectomy. Which felt super painful – I don’t know why but I welled up. I don’t want any more kids but it was so brutal to hear.
So when they sort of listen to you, they are also dismissive and insensitive.
I’m so sorry you went through that, my hope is that we teach our children better and future generations of women won’t have to experience these things.
I had gallstones 16 or so ago. Went to ER in pain, thought I was having a heart attack. The ER docs diagnosed gallstones and told me to see my GP for ultrasound confirmation and surgery referral. Saw my GP the next day and he said, “you’re too young for gallstones. It’s acid reflux, refusing to allow the ultrasound to verify. I spent three months on acid reducing pills and just got sicker. I knew it was gallstones. Finally, I stood my ground, literally stomping my feet and saying, “I’m not leaving this office until you okay this ultrasound.” I got litterally- literally!!- patted on the head like a dog while he patronizingly said, “okay, we’ll do it, just for you. We’re not gonna find anything, but we’ll do it, just to make you feel better.” And of course they found gallstones. And I found a new doctor.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. So many doctors don’t like when you “self diagnose” or sound like you might have a clue what is wrong with you. It took years to get diagnosed with Hashimoto’s because when I went in to the doctor she told me I was too young and couldn’t have it (Uh, children can have it, so…) . I had to go back and beg for bloodwork, which showed I had Hashimoto’s but she wanted to retest me in a month because she thought I might be having a “bad thyroid day”. Is that even a thing? It killed her that I called it, which is so weak of her, she should have been glad that I knew my own body. I was also told for years that I had acid reflux and even took medicine for it and then it turned out that I am just gluten sensitive and have no acid reflux at all. I found a new doctor who wasn’t threatened by my questions. I am impressed that you stood your ground, wish I had been so insistent but I naively thought I had to trust the doctor because they knew more than I do.
I had a similar experience when 22 years old. I had gallbladder attacks regularly for over a year because every time I went to the doc about the pain (which would be gone in am after vomiting all night) he would say I was imagining it, or looking for attention, or it was nothing. He even called my husband and told him to take me on a vacation and pay more attention to me.
When I ended up in the ER after passing out at a meeting, the doc there immediately saw my yellow eyes and ordered tests. By that time the gallstones had gotten out of my gallbladder and were blocking my liver. I very nearly died. Was in hospital 2 weeks and had to wear a bypass bag.
The original GP called me and had the nerve to blame me because “I did not express how much pain I was in. “ Really! If I had known then what I know now I would’ve sued him.
Don’t take any stuff, and insist, complain, be a bitch or do whatever you have to do to get the tests and diagnosis you deserve.
A friend of mine had gallstones at 16. Went to the ER in pain because of this; the nurses and MDs were all telling her that she was too young for gallstone, that she must have been pregnant and that it was the cause of her pain because stones would hurt more than that. She kept saying that it was impossible since she was still a virgin at the time but they wouldn’t believe her, claiming she was just afraid to admit it in front of her parents (pfft! As if!). The look on their face when they finally allowed her an ultrasound which showed that it was indeed gallstones was priceless. She made sure to go tell the medical staff who had been judging her!
My friend was lucky to DGAF even as a teenager, having to argue about your lack of sex life or your pain threshold can be hard even for an adult, it can be quite intimidating for a kid.
Women do have to fight harder for their health too. It sucks.
If we feel we are being ignored or dismissed, I think we have to switch doctors, and speak up as to why. It won’t get through to most of the bad doctors (especially the men who don’t believe women) but maybe it’ll reach a few.
I like Cobie a lot, I forgot she had cancer! She was right to keep fighting for herself, a lot of women like myself believe it when doctors tell them “they just can’t handle pain” or that it’s just part of life and deal with it, and they suffer for years thinking it’s nothing serious.
I had a previous surgically confirmed diagnosis of endometriosis and my new doctor still refused to treat me for it or do another surgery for over 5 years. Eventually I drove 4 hours to the previous doctor in the town where I lived before and he immediately did another surgery that found Endo all over my uterus, colon, ovaries, and even on muscles/tendons in my pelvis and legs. I suffered for years because doctors didn’t listen, and I was accused of being dramatic or drug seeking, I get so much rage in my stomach when I think about it or reading these similar stories, this wouldn’t happen to a man:(
That is truly devastating to her. I had no idea that these experiences were so common. Why on earth don’t people listen?
Oh, Jess, my heart goes out to you. Endometriosis is one of those conditions that some doctors seem EXTREMELY resistant to diagnose, or even explore for. Again and again I hear stories about that. One of my sister’s has it – she was treated with surgery for extensive endometriosis, and put on hormone medication to control it. When she started experiencing the EXACT SAME PAIN she had had before the diagnosis, her doctor refused to listen to her: “Oh, you can’t get endometriosis there not unless you stand on your head all day” No follow up. She found a new doctor, who did some exploratory tests and found widespread endometriosis had returned. After a long long surgery, she was much better, and a recurrence could be headed off if she took birth control pills. Then of course, her insurance started giving her a hard time because they didn’t want to cover “contraceptives” And she, a medical clinician, with an advanced degree in pharmacology was like a) why not? and b) I’m taking this medication to treat a disease that is disabling and has been observed in surgery by my doctor. What is the problem.
Oh, and the kicker, it turns out the delay in treatment from the first ignorant misogynist “physican ” allowed time for the disease to damage some of her reproductive organs, which greatly reduced her chances of ever getting pregnant. Years later, she and her husband are still childless.
I had an acquaintance who was diagnosed in stage 4 breast cancer at 20. She went untreated for 18 months because doctors refused to consider that a teenaged girl could have breast cancer.
A friend of mine went through so many doctors, and even had an appointment at the Mayo Clinic (the freaking Mayo Clinic), continuing to be dismissed because the cancer she is concerned about (she has symptoms, x-rays, etc) is so hard to diagnose, they refuse to believe she could have it. “Well, if that were the case, you’d have blood flow through the spots” “If you look at my chart, you’d see I do” “Oh, well, it’s fine”. That was a learning experience for ME, it will always be in my head to never take their word over my body. My grandmother went in and saw so many doctors who dismissed her symptoms. She’s now dying of pancreatic cancer. That is almost impossible to diagnose, I know, but I believe if they had listened to her, and found it sooner, she may have had more time due to earlier treatment. Fight, ladies, fight as hard as you can to be listened to until you find someone who listens.
It took me 3 years after symptoms to get diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease and 6 years to get a Fibromyalgia diagnosis. I didn’t get diagnosed with endometriosis until after my hysterectomy. I had been complaining for years and asking for something to be done. Eventually, I was bleeding so heavily every month that I became anemic. That’s when they decided to do the hysterectomy.
I’ve gotten to the point where I dislike American doctors imensely. I prefer to see doctors who have moved here from other countries. They listen.
I’ve had doctors actually try to pressure me into voting against government healthcare (Obamacare) and for laws that limit malpractice suits. I’m not sure why they believed it was okay to talk about politics during my appointment. Rather then get angry and yell (which is really wanted to do), I walked out of those appointments. I’ve also had doctors refuse to run tests and write notes my insurance company needed before they would approve the medication, because, at the time, I had Obamacare. Two of them came straight out and told me that they weren’t going to do it until I had better insurance. One of these doctors was an eye doctor and I couldn’t see because of eye inflammation; and, thus couldn’t go back to work at the time. These were doctors who were on the list and agreed to accept Obamacare patients and were accepting money from the government. I did report them both.
I understand that there is a huge problem with the way our healthcare system is run, but there is also a problem with the attitudes many doctors have. I think they look at a patients insurance and decide if the insurance isn’t good enough for them, they are not going to bother treating the patient. They don’t think much about the patient and what they may be going through. It’s “the world owes me a living” and “I’m better than you so I’m not going to do the work to help you” attitude.
This is absolutely true. So many doctors, even pediatricians, will not accept patients who are on Medicaid. When I was 19, I had already been going to my gynecologist for 4 years because I was sexually active. It was the “family gyno,” my mother also went to this doctor. I was on my parents’ very nice health insurance. When I got pregnant at 19, I found that my parents insurance would not cover pregnancy for children of the insured, only spouse of the insured. So I went on Medicaid. My ob/gyn office tried to drop me as a patient because they didn’t accept Medicaid. As a young, scared, pregnant person who had an existing personal and family relationship with the doctor going back 20 years when my mother first started seeing him. My mother called and fought with them and spoke directly to the doctor (which is ridiculously hard to do), and they finally agreed to take me back on. I would never had thought to fight that hard. When the office said they couldn’t see me because of the Medicaid I honestly thought it was because some offices just CAN’T bill Medicaid. They can. They don’t want to.
When my son was born, he was on Medicaid as well because while I was now living with his father, his father worked at a small bussiness that didn’t offer insurance and my parents’ insurance that was now insuring me again now that I wasn’t pregnant, wouldn’t accept my child on the plan. I wanted my son to go to the same pediatrician everyone in the family used and I called to make an appointment. They wouldn’t accept him because he was on Medicaid. Again, a Pediatrician’s office that my family had been using for 20+ years.
Medicaid doesn’t reimburse at the same rate as private health insurance. Private health insurance can reimburse doctors so much more for seeing patients because private insurance can charge patients whatever they want. We can’t keep having this weird, cobbled together health system where certain insurance pays doctors more for the same visits and services. That’s how you get doctors who will only work with certain patients that have the right insurance. It’s not even about having insurance vs not having insurance, it’s about having the RIGHT (expensive) kind of insurance now. It’s sickening.
I’m so tired of hearing doctors not taking women’s concerns into consideration. Oh, it’s in your head or, let’s just give it a while. It infuriates me. Many years ago, I faced the same problem, to the point I almost died. It started in March, horrible indigestion and chest pains. Several trips to the ER, with just ultrasounds performed and nothing was found. However, I started dropping weight and the indigestion turned to nausea, everytime I ate. My GP forwarded me to a GI doctor, who started me on the “Brat” diet, no further tests were performed. Turns out, even with this very bland diet, I was still getting sick after every meal. So, being young, I decided to eat what I wanted, what did it matter if I was going to throw it up anyway? I made the mistake of telling my GI doctor this and BAM. I remember him closing my file, looking up at me and telling me I had an eating disorder and needed to see a shrink for my bulemia. WHAT? I didn’t want to throw up! I just didn’t want to have another effin bite of rice or bread ……Flash forward to beginning of November of that year, when things got so much worse. I couldn’t even hold down water any more. I was down to 89 lbs (and I’m a big boned gal……back then I was normally 115-120,) and couldn’t even get out of bed. My stepfather had to come and get me and literally carry me into my GP office (2 blocks away, directly across the street from the hospital.) He took one look at me and sent me across the street to be admitted to the hospital. LONG STORY SHORT: by this time, my organs were failing and I was in and out of consciousness…..the same freaking GI doctor was there, he ordered a high money nuclear radiation test, which showed my gallbladder was dead and rotting inside me. That is why nothing showed up on any of the ultrasounds. They performed emergency surgery that day. I was then in the hopsital for almost three weeks, for what should have been a routine outpatient procedure, due to being so malnourished. The GI doctor apologized to me, big whoop. I should have sued, but I was so young and just happy to be better. I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN. Since then, two men in my life have had gallbladder problems. Guess which test was ordered within days of them going to the doctor? The same one I had to almost die to get, the nuclear radiation test. Needless to say, I was pissed but glad they were able to get medical care.
Oh my frigging god. THis is a horror story. So glad you are here to tell it.
Thank you. And my husband wonders why I don’t trust doctors….
Wow, that is horrific.
It was horrific. Just imagine if I were a man. I would have been in and out of the hospital within a week of my first incident.
Thabks, Celebitchy, for keeping us informed about prominent women who endure these things. You and Kaiser make my heart sing with hope.
I, for one, am glad you posted this. We do need to have these conversations, because god knows womens’ health is not written about enough. It’s a good reminder to: 1. get your check ups. and 2. know your own body. 3. advocate for yourself.
Thanks, Kaiser.
It’s definitely hard to be an advocate for your health sometimes. I’ve dealt with dozens upon dozens of doctors and 50% of them have dismissed me. I was diagnosed with parathyroid cancer at the age of 23. I’m now 28 and still suffering with the damage that was done from going undiagnosed for so long.
Canada’s healthcare is far from perfect and far from free for some. I’m still in debt from treatments that my hospitals & insurance refused to cover. It’s tough.
Dear god, I cannot even imagine having ovarian cancer at 25.
Ovarian and Uterine cancers are often deadly because they are often discovered only after they’ve gotten to the stage where they are fatal. It’s a horrific cycle.
Note the use of “often.” This is because the symptoms at an early stage are often mistaken for some other benign problem.
And yes, far too many doctors dismiss the symptoms because they do mimic simple problems.
So yes, listen to your body and don’t be afraid to demand your doctor take things seriously and follow up accordingly. This does not mean panic if you have cramps or a stomach ache. It means listen carefully to your body and make sure you see a doctor if you sense something is off.
(And yes, we all know the many financial difficulties involved in obtaining proper health care in the USA…How come nobody reminds Trump of another empty campaign promise he made repeatedly…To give ALL Americans the greatest healthcare for less money. Perhaps his biggest lie of all, and that’s saying a lot.)
Good luck. Stay healthy.
Doctors are so bad at tecognizing women’s complaints. It took me 8 years to get properly dx with migraines. I was told repeatedly that I needed to manage my stress. You know cause women are so bad at that. I finally walked into an urgent care and started vomiting and that gets their attention. I have great doctors now. It turns out I needed medicine designed for my actual neurological disorder….
I may have told this story before but I had been told that I couldn’t possibly have endometriosis because I was able to concieve. 20 years later the same doctor apologized to me after performing a hysterectomy where all my pelvic organs were so completely scarred that they had to take my tubes and ovaries as well. I appreciate that she apologized for not taking me seriously but I’m still angry about 20 years of pain.
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry this happened to you! I have endo as well and when I got pregnant after IVF for the first time I had a male OB tell me that it’s basically a myth that ends is an issue and that most women have some form of it so it’s not as big of a deal as people try to make it. I switched doctors the next day.
Good for you for switching! What a horrible doctor. Good thing is nowadays we can post our experiences online, and maybe save someone else from wasting their time there too.
I had a neurologist look at me for my severe back pain years ago – had me walk around the room, and told me it was just muscular. Had me come back several times to repeat the same thing and diagnosis (I had good insurance, he got a couple hundred bucks for looking at me for a few seconds). When the back pain happened again, a different doctor sent me for an MRI. 3 bulging and 1 herniated disc. I sent the results to the neurologist with FYI scrawled big on it. If that happened to me now, I’d know better and wouldn’t have accepted it right from the start.
Dear God in 20 years she never thought let me rethink this? I am so sorry you endured that
i’m so glad you put this as a story. it is crucial! this is why i go into dr offices, hospitals and etc and demand things be done now. i’ve gone in with a history of cervical dysplasia, classic symptoms for cervical cancer and a strong history of female cancers in my family, and STILL the dr prescribes me ambien or anti-anxiety meds and i get a $2000 bill with zero accomplished (or one gynecologist told me to drink more water).
we have to take control of our health. i would get looked at and they would say the same, “you look healthy, you’re only 21, it’s highly unlikely you’d have anything serious…”. i’m so over it. good job getting awareness out there, cele|bitchy
I can’t believe she went through that – so horrific. Good on her for pushing them on it.
I’m in shock – $500 per month for insurance? How do people see Medicare for all as something that would be wrong or expensive? In Australia we pay a 2% Medicare levy and this covers nearly everything. Including my husband going to the Eye hospital emergency room on the weekend, having emergency eye surgery, plus a home GP visit a day later due to issues with pain medicine. We did not pay a cent out of pocket.
We also have private heath insurance. I was paying about $40 per fortnight, it’s currently $100 whilst I’m trying for a baby.
If someone earns less than $22k they do not pay the levy. High income earners may pay up to an extra 1.5%. I hear zero complaints. It’s a part of life here and I’m happy I can ensure EVERYONE can get the best care. We are not perfect by any means, but this is a human right and the fear of ‘socialism’ is insane.
I sincerely hope a new decent president can finally bring this to fruition for you all.
To be fair on full disclosure on current healthcare in the US (which GOP are determined to destroy by repealing Obamacare), I have the exact insurance the writer of this post has (Silver Plan under Obamacare) and I pay $58 per month and $2 copay per doctor visit because the rest of the over-$500 premium and copays are subsidized by the government based on my income at the moment (not working for my own health and caring for family member so my income is just investment earnings). So at the moment, while the government subsidies under Obamacare are in effect, we have in the USA something in between (1) majority-to-full coverage for everyone that public insurance in other countries would pay and (2) full out of pocket, individual paid insurance, because at least since 2014 there is assistance for some incomes. But it’s still wretched and the subsidies don’t go far enough, not to mention the subsidies are our tax dollars being used to pay profits to for-profit health insurers (since they are getting reimbursed no matter what). As everyone who supports Obamacare knows, it was an amazing step forward from what we had before (nothing), but it’s just a stepping stone towards progress.
ETA: our Medicare is basically similar to your program. It’s paid by a special tax (1.45% paid EACH by employers and employees). The difference is that in Medicare, you utilize private healthcare and the government pays for it at negotiated rates with providers. The kicker though…it’s only available for those aged 65 and older. That’s why the push you will hear for a public option in the US is often labeled “Medicare for All”. Just building on a program already in place to expand the benefit fairly to everyone. There are still problems to be sorted afterwards but it’s the next logical step that could be implemented with little logistical issues other than private insurance lobbies going nuts to lose their entire industry.
And Medicaid is a program for very low income AND low asset people and some people with disabilities that’s paid in full by the government. So at the extreme end, there is coverage. But it’s the whole center of the population in the US, the not yet-65 but earning above the poverty line, that are the ones suffering the most.
I too had silver Obamacare and it was a huge blessing as I am a cancer survivor. But I do wish we would all retrain ourselves to call it ACA insurance because some blankety-blank people are so uptight about Obama.
Flower, the ACA has been a godsend to me too. I have one serious life threatening condition that is managed with meds but needs to be monitored and could cause me to wind up in the hospital at any time if things go sideways. And one chronic health condition which is bad on paper for insurance purposes but not too bad in my particular case although I still see specialist regularly. So I am uninsurable and have been since 2000 when it first appeared at age 29 after zero health issues prior to that. Uninsurable until ACA that is.
I’m not sick enough for disability but I hated my job and it’s effect on my health and wanted to leave and pursue other non 9-5 life goals. And I have the means to support myself without working right now. But without the ACA, I would be tied to that desk job simply because I would have been banned from buying private insurance prior to 2014. It’s so freeing for anyone with an alternative career and a health condition. The subsidy for me right now is just icing on the cake. I am just grateful to be insured at all.
Flowers, do you remember all the people who, when polled, would say they HATED Obamacare and wanted it stopped, but that the LOVED the ACA because it covered all their needs?
Talk about ignorance.
Also, being from Massachusetts, I wish if people were going to slap a politician’s name of the plan they’d call it Romneycare. It was rolled out in my state year’s when Mitt Romney was governor years before the ACA was rolled out nationwide, but it’s basically a plan with the same structure and guidelines, tweaked by Congress. Using ‘Obamacare’ as a slur against a plan developed by a Republican is just another example of pointless partisaship in the US>
Where I live, I have to fight to get my concerns heard. I’ve had huge back problems since the birth of my second child and the doctor refused to do a cat scan to find out why. I’ve actually gotten into it with a doctor because they were more willing to give me pain medication instead of scheduling physical therapy. The PT did wonders for my back but years later and I ended up with back pain again, and now I’m in the mode of going to fight my doctor to why this keeps popping up. And last year I had to fight for a mammogram at 29 because three aunties have been diagnosed with breast cancer and the doctor did not want to take me serious on that either because of my age. I mean hello! Hereditary says otherwise…
Not a matter of life and death, but I literally just got home from the hospital. A week ago I saw a male nurse practitioner, I had had a fever for 4 days, no other flu symptoms (also had and told him that I had the flu shot). He refused to do a flu test because and I quote “the only reason a 53 year old woman would have a fever this high is because of the flu or strep and you don’t have strep “. I didn’t have the flu either!! I ended up in the hospital for untreated pneumonia.
I see a physician’s assistant when I can. My experience is that they are much more patient focused, and will really listen to my opinions and feedback regarding my health.
I totally consign all of this, and will share this with my husband (who thinks things have come a long way and doesn’t believe this issue is as widespread as it is) but what I REALLY came here to say is Friends From College is hilarious.
I laughed so hard during both seasons that my stomach hurt. Are the characters neurotic and self-absorbed? Totally.
But show me a sitcom that doesn’t.
Friends From College is definitely my favorite comedy on Netflix (Big Mouth is a close second).
I loved FFC and can’t understand why it had such bad ratings.
US healthcare is definitely broke in terms of the exorbitant profits that health care providers and pharmaceutical companies are allowed to charge. But the flip side, is you were able to get screened within hours of the suspicion . Compare that to the heartbreaking waits for ordinary scans in countries where the cost is fully or mostly paid for by public health insurance. I guess where I come down on this, I am 100% unequivocally in favor of a single payer, government provided health care because there are times when having to wait is the appropriate trade off for getting the procedure at all if you can’t afford it. But if people want the same on demand service (ie, schedule an MRI or ultrasound at your leisure, type of health insurance), we have to be fair and compare apples to apples. Meaning give that flexibility up or pay for it by going a private route (if that’s even legal in that jurisdiction).
I can tangentially relate to this even though I wasn’t the one diagnosed with the cancer. My husband and I are both 30 and a couple years ago I noticed a prominent mole on his lower back was changing (ie on some days, it looked like it was moldy, a month later it looked fine). I’m not a doctor but my parents are and talk shop and home so I’ve grown up for years knowing that it’s sometimes a bad thing when moles change. I sent my husband to his GP two years ago for a referral to a dermatologist for a biopsy. The GP looked at it and dismissed it. I kept pushing for YEARS and finally got him to a derm for a biopsy. The derm was equally dismissive and chalked the mole weirdness to my husband’s Latino heritage and then proceeded to talk to him for 10 minutes about how he can get his bag of a wife off his back. Three days later, the biopsy came back and it was melanoma, the most dangerous of the skin cancers. By the time the tumor was removed, it was stage 3A and the doctors said my persistence saved his life because any more time with that in his body and his rate of survival would have dropped precipitously. He’s now cancer free and neither of these two sh**head doctors are in the picture anymore. It’s not just women’s health concerns that get ignored. In my experience, it was my husband’s health that was jeopardized because of the stereotype of the nagging wife who thinks there’s something wrong every five seconds. I hate that this is where so many in the medical community are on these issues.
I had no idea shape-shifting moles are a common Latino trait. /sarcasm. *eyeroll*
Misogyny may not have played a direct role in your husband’s case (though I agree that it played a secondary role as the doctors assumed his problem was a nagging wife and not skin cancer), but racism seems to have certainly played a role. The health system works best for straight, white men in the US and it is so heartbreaking that the rest of us are just left floundering and suffering.
I will never understand how the American HC system works and how you guys live with it. I love Medicare and while under my parents Medicare and health insurance we really didn’t need to pay for much.
There is a vaccine available for the ovarian cancer (I think) and it was free to all women under 25 in Australia ( I got mine a few years ago, not sure if it’s still free)
My Dad has 3 operations for free when his retina detached. The same thing happed to my brother.
Under Medicare I was able to get free dental and eye check ups. If we had to may it was only a couple hundred bucks.
Meds are subsided by the government as well, some people only need to pay 6.50 or $40 bucks for life saving meds. There are some that are $$$$ but it’s still very affordable.
There is no vaccine for ovarian cancer. There are clinical trials on vaccines to extend the life of ovarian cancer patients, which *may* also be used for prevention. They are not yet approved for use, at least in the US.
You may have gotten Gardisal, which is a vaccine against human papilloma virus (HPV) — which causes cervical cancer and genital warts.
You’re thinking of the HPV vaccine which prevents you from contracting the five strains that most often lead to cervical cancer. I wish there were a vaccine for ovarian cancer!
Thank you so much for posting about this. This is my first post on this site. We lost our precious 37-year-old daughter to ovarian cancer less than 2 weeks ago. This was her 2nd bout. She was first diagnosed at 24. She religiously had her scans done every Summer and was clear for over 10 years. Summer of 2016, she was fine. Summer of 2017, she was stage 4. Ovarian cancer manifests itself in so many ways. The 2nd time she started experiencing symptoms, she first complained about her knee (referred pain from the the tumor resting on a nerve). It is too late for her but I urge everyone woman to keep current with your annual checkups and if something doesn’t feel right insist on scans, CA125 tests etc. if you’ve already survived it once, please don’t assume a pain in another part of your body couldn’t possibly be related. RIP my beloved JRL
I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. My sister had it and passed at age 52. I have been very fortunate in getting the tests and dna testing for it, which show I do not have the gene.
May you feel comforted soon.
I’m so sorry about your sister. Just FYI for others reading this, ovarian cancer is very rare in people without the BRCA mutation but it can happen! Everyone should be aware of the signs. 🙁
Oh Mama and Flowers, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to both of you.
yes, this is so important, thank you for covering this story!! My father has repeatedly been denied cancer scans by his insurance company, even though he is a 2-time cancer patient. I myself have had to beg for ultrasounds for my polycystic ovarian syndrome. Something is not right with our healthcare system.
I had to see three doctors before being able to prove that the pre period pain I was experiencing was not normal. One doctor said just go on a diet and exercise more. Turns out I had a rare condition with cysts growing outside my uterus that were twisting mid cycle and causing the pain. Finally I had my uterus removed but kept my ovaries and that was the end of my pain. If only someone had believed me sooner. Or done an ultrasound. It would have been seen right away. Stupid doctors.
I went through this too!! Many doctors told me to take ibuprofen despite debilitating abdominal pain. It’s awful, best wishes to you. I am looking at surgical options similar to what you described, your story inspires me.
Good luck knowitall! Best decision I ever made.
I have a 24 year old employee who just had a hysterectomy and is going to undergo chemotherapy from Ovarian cancer that has metastasized because her initial concerns were dismissed. The prognosis isn’t good and all because her doctor thought she had a dramatic reaction to her periods.
While I agree that you have to be your own advocate and push for tests, I think the bigger issue is that Americans don’t have universal health care (like we do in Canada). Ours isn’t perfect and it sometimes does cost out of pocket for some things … but your system is pathetic. Third world.
I just about ripped my hair out one day.
My mom told me she hates Obama care so much
Then goes on to sing ACA praises.
The stupidity and racism of trump voters is astounding