David Duchovny: I don’t need my teenagers to be impressed or proud of me


David Duchovny was on People Live, I’m pretty sure he was promoting his music but he’s also an author, he has an undergraduate degree from Princeton and an M.A. in English literature from Yale, and of course we know him as an actor. I enjoy his interviews and he has a lot of wisdom to share. He comes across as matter-of-fact and hard working, and I appreciate that. Plus I could relate to what he said about his teenage kids.

What makes you most uncomfortable and what are you most comfortable with
That’s a great question because that’s what it’s all about. It’s really hard to sit down and write every day. It’s uncomfortable. It take a lot of discipline because nobody is asking me to write. I have to do it to myself. I have to sit down, that’s hard.

Music, I can get very nervous singing live. I’m not like, Mr. Pitch. Acting, as much as I’ve done it there can be days when I get tight. That’s your job to figure out what’s going on and to work through it.

Do you kids understand what a big moment this is? (with X-Files coming back)
No. That’s fine. I don’t need them to be impressed or proud of me. I’d rather be impressed and proud of them.

If he gave her 19 year-old daughter advice on acting
I said be on time and listen and be professional and be nice, the things that you can control. She’s such an impressive kid to me or adult whatever, I just ruined everything.

On how becoming a dad changed how he thought of his own father
You let go of so much stuff because you’re like ‘This is impossible. No wonder we all make mistakes.’

[From video on People.com]

They showed photos of his kids, his son is literally named Kyd, he’s 16, and his daughter, Madelaine West, will be 20 in April. She’s striking, which is not surprising considering her parents are David and his ex, Tea Leoni. That was so cute when he talked about his kids. He said he gets more nervous seeing his son pitching in baseball than if it was him up there. I like David Duchovny, he’s a thoughtful guy and he gave me a lot of food for thought. Of course I totally agree with him about his teens. It’s also so true that you have to push through when something makes you uncomfortable. I don’t always do that, but when I do I can make big changes in my life. That’s what the podcast is like for me now, it’s scary but there’s something exhilarating about it.

You know his kids are impressed when they get courtside seats at Knicks games.
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photos credit: Getty

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11 Responses to “David Duchovny: I don’t need my teenagers to be impressed or proud of me”

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  1. Lucy says:

    Both him and Gillian turned out to be really cool people! I like them. What he says about his kids is very sweet.

  2. Esmom says:

    I hear what he’s saying about wanting to be proud of his kids but I also wanted mine to be proud of me, or at least respectful of my work/achievements. At times I took on volunteering gigs, for example, not so much because I was dying to do it but because I thought it would set a good example for them.

    I don’t think it worked out very well, as they don’t seem to give a crap about what I do or don’t do, lol. I”m trying not to be too sad that they want nothing to do with me and hope that maybe one day when they’re out of their teens they might be drawn back to our old companionship.

    • frizz says:

      I think that’s normal. I wanted to get away from my mom as a teen! It’s probably a growth and development phase. You want your own space, life, identity. But they’re still absorbing the example you are setting!!

      My mom and I were friends in my 20s and my mom is elderly with dementia now and I call her every night to remind her to take her pills. She had a tough childhood and she struggled as an adult, and her personality could be tough. But when I was a teenager I was so self focused I didn’t really think much about her, but later I could put her life in perspective.

    • wildflower says:

      I’m willing to bet that your kids see more than you or they realize right now. I don’t know about you, but I could be so critical of my parents and at times thought they were so uncool until I grew up and realized that they were actually real people (gasp!) and always did the best they could. Your kids sound like typical teens and you sound like you are setting a wonderful example.

    • Esmom says:

      Thanks for the kind words, frizz and wildflower. I could be a real jerk to my parents as a teen, too. I guess I had hoped things might be different with my kids. I haven’t lost hope yet. 🙂

  3. Svea says:

    Why would he want that because why would they be?

  4. kb says:

    god he’s still so hot. that’s all i have to say.

  5. jay says:

    I like what he said about pushing through nerves; figuring out what’s emotionally going on and working through it is a really important skill. I see a lot of rhetoric from people online pathologizing regular nervousness into something clinical as a way to avoid ever being uncomfortable or having to do anything beyond their comfort zone. Discomfort is part of life!

  6. Grey says:

    Of course we mention the girl is beautiful, but not the boy. The most important thing about a girl/woman is whether she is pretty or not. Again.

    This is the kind of subtle, rampant sexism we all need to learn to undo.

    • anony7 says:

      Yeah, when my family gets together with our nieces and nephews most of the adults say things to the nieces like “You look great!” “Love your hair!” “Doesn’t she look beautiful?” etc., while the nephews get asked about their careers/work/school.

  7. Maiglöckchen says:

    There are times I get really frustrated with the authors’ uninformed statements on this site: “his son is literally named Kyd, he’s 16…” The young man is named after 16-century English playwright Thomas Kyd. David was ABD in English at Yale. They announced when he was born that Kyd goes by his middle name, Miller.