Courteney Cox reveals that she didn’t lose her virginity until 21


Courteney Cox was on James Corden’s The Late Late Show Wednesday night. Nick Kroll was also on the show, talking about the Valentine episode of his Big Mouth show, which deals with puberty and curiosity about sex. This led to a PG-13 discussion about how prepared both Courtney and Nick were for their sexual awakening. Courteney saidher parents hadn’t talked to her at all about it but when the time finally came, her mother outfitted her for the big occasion.

(Big Mouth) deals with that sort of awkward age of puberty and learning about sex and all those things. Courteney, were your parents, were they comfortable talking about sex and these changes when you were home?
No, I didn’t learn anything, my mom never talked to me about – one thing that I should’ve known. I shouldn’t probably say this, but I will. I was a virgin until I was 21. I think we can be proud of that. But I dated the guy for a long time and my mom was like, ‘okay, I think she’s going to be with him for a while,’ and she sent me a pair of underwear to try to, you know, womanhood. And they were called Olga, and I swear, the lace was about three and a half, four inches, and then the cotton part. But they were so much better than the ones I was wearing, so I was really backwards when it came to that. But, you know. Get that Coco?

I don’t often discuss how old I was when I lost my V-card because I wasn’t “legal” in my state. He was the same age, it was consensual, and I’m not embarrassed at all, but people hold very strong opinions on others sexual choices, so I leave it be in certain company. But I don’t hold opinions on when others lost it so yes, I think Courteney can be proud of her making it to 21. What I love is that Courteney’s mom’s contribution was not discussion, but lingerie. Like, let’s analyze those priorities. But I also love that Courteney admitted that the panties her mom sent were better than anything she owned so, well done mom!

If you watch the video, Nick said his folks were “supportive” but doesn’t address if they discussed sex or puberty with him. He had three older siblings so I’m sure the subject came up. It’s important to me that sex is discussed openly in our house. When my kids were young, they’d ask about a word they’d heard and I’d preface it by saying, “it has to do with sex, do you want to know?” and they’d decide if they were comfortable. Now it seems like they bring the majority of their questions to us, including a lot of “is this normal” puberty-related instances and currently, some questions about their sexual preferences without anyone feeling uncomfortable. This gives me some confidence that when they start thinking about actually having sex, we can delve into emotional readiness and protection.




Photo credit: WENN Photos and YouTube

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56 Responses to “Courteney Cox reveals that she didn’t lose her virginity until 21”

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  1. erni says:

    I wish my kids won’t lose it until they finish highschool

    • jan90067 says:

      I remember my mom always saying, “Wait till you’re married!” When my sister started growing up (I’m 8 yrs. older), I heard my mom say, “I hope she waits until college!” Pfffbbttt! I was 19 1/2 for the record (late bloomer lol), and *I* made sure I had the pretty lingerie!

  2. Lizzie says:

    wait…is it illegal to have sex before a certain age? even with a partner the same age?

    • Lex says:

      Yes. Age of consent.

    • Bettyrose says:

      No it’s illegal to have sex with someone below a certain age, but if both parties are the same age both are guilty and it’s a misdemeanor. The law is intended to protect children from predators not stop teens ftom having sex (no one’s figured out how to do that).

  3. ds says:

    I was 21 too. Not because I wanted to be a virgin but it just happened like that. This might sound weird but I think I got a proper sexual awakening in my early 30′s; that is when I started loving it and found out what I liked and loved my body. Sorry for over sharing I just think that’s as important as losing the virginity in a way… when you’re young it’s just hormones. Maybe I’m wrong.

    • Babadook says:

      Same here. I think in high-school I really thought nobody was into me – looking back I’m so mad at all the guys who obviously liked me but I wasn’t confident enough about myself to even be receptive at the time. That said, I obviously wasn’t ready if I wasn’t comfortable with even receiving attention yet – so maybe if I had gone down that path things wouldn’t have gone well?

      I’ve kind of had a weird sexual dip in my mid twenties. Holding out for that early 30s resurface!

      • ds says:

        what you’re saying about high school is my experience as well! I remember talking to my best guy friend from those time and he told me about how many boys digged me but I never seemed into it so they wouldn’t even approach me. It’s funny thinking about it now, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
        Enjoy it no matter the age :) 30′s are fun though, I’ll tell you that.

      • brutalethyl says:

        If I could pick one decade to do over, it would be my 30′s. If there was a decade that went from 25 to 35, that would be my absolute first choice. Those days were incredible. ;)

    • Morgane says:

      I think this will be me… I’m 25, still a virgin and not bothered by it but some people, like my mom, are definitely concerned about it

  4. Sue Denim says:

    I love Big Mouth, so very raunchy but so very sweet too.

    • DesertReal says:

      I love love love that show. Everytime a new season drops, I wind up binging it within a few hours- then missing it again until the next.

  5. Emily says:

    I lost mine at 19 to my now husband right before his 20th birthday. We’d been dating a year. The only sex talk I got from my parents growing up was to wait until I was married.

    • Esmom says:

      Ha, that was the same “talk” I got from my mom. She would be horrified to know that I also wasn’t legally of age when it happened. Also consensual, but still I was so young.

      I’m happy that my kids are now both over 18 and haven’t yet had sex. Although I do wish my older son would be comfortable with the idea of dating. He’s too intimidated and somehow believes he is only worthy of being “the friend.”

  6. Sleanne says:

    I was a teenager when I lost my virginity and it was with someone I loved and trusted. We were young but we were safe and both sets of parents armed us with information. I wouldn’t change my first time for anything because it was something I wanted and wasn’t pressured into. To this day I see him and his family in the store and we say hi and my hubby knows who he is (our boys are in clubs together by fluke too!). I know that sounds privileged because that’s what it was . Most people don’t have an experience like that and I know how lucky I am. Regardless of age, that is what I want for my kids – to feel informed, safe, loved, and regret nothing.

  7. Mia4s says:

    I hate that this is a “story”. They’re not saying it outright but the implication is “wow, she waited until 21? That’s incredible!”. Ummm, no, no it’s not. Among my friends that was about average as I recall (I fall into that average). There’s nothing wrong with losing it younger (as long as precautions are taken and it’s truly consensual) but I really think we need to be careful not to perpetuate the idea in kids that there’s a “deadline”.

    • Becks1 says:

      I agree. I know people who first had sex in high school, and some who didn’t have sex until after college. I don’t think 21 is that “old” in terms of waiting (I was 20 and felt like that was the right time for me, but its so personal.) Like you said, as long as it is truly consensual, then people need to make the right choice for them.

    • ab says:

      agreed. I hate the way this is all phrased, because it adds to the pressure that teenagers feel and perpetuates the stigma of waiting until you feel comfortable. some will feel comfortable when they are 15 and some might not be ready until they are in their 20s or later.

    • Himmiefan says:

      Exactly, or that you’re weird if you go over the deadline. Sometimes, there are no viable candidates!

    • Leslie says:

      I’m 29 and still a virgin. Not for any specific reason, but just because that’s how my life ended up. Because of the media and various experiences in my life, I’ve felt for years like there was some deadline that I missed and now I’m defective and it’s something shameful. I’m glad I didn’t have sex in high school, but if I’m being honest, part of me wishes I had so I wouldn’t be this weird, defective outsider that I feel like now.

      • boo says:

        @Leslie: I’m in my early 30s and technically still a virgin and yes, it has bothered me on and off over the years too. I know a couple of other people older who are as well. I hope you get to place where you see that there is likely more to you than your virginity, things people around you probably see as well. In the meantime, self-pleasure and erotica (the non-toxic kind) does wonders to get ya in a good mood ;)

      • Ennie says:

        I waited till 28. Ended not being the right person emotionally, but one learns what to accept and what is not acceptable. Just be open and not hold people in pedestals, I used to have high standards, but it’s not time worthy to ask for impossibles, oneself is fallible to.

      • Egla says:

        I was 30 1/2 years old when I first had sex. It was my choice. I did it with someone I liked not loved. Didn’t like it and I broke up with him after a month. I was told all my life that sex was BAD and only for married and well behaved women to have with their husbands and only to have children. Add to that some sexual molestation and the damage was done. In our culture was tabu talking about things below the belt. Not much information from outside either. Basically I had to self educate and a lot of my friends ended up as victims of all kind,one of them dead, because we were told once you have sex with a man you have to stay with him forever. I think of myself as one of the luckiest one. Still to this day I wear simple coton underwear and nobody has ever conplained lol

    • K says:

      Yes, isn’t it most important that every individual goes at their own pace? So it’s completely consensual and positive? Sex does not have to be a big deal, even though I think love and serious, committed relationships are – but more because of emotions than sex. There is no age that would be perfect for everyone, and nothing terribly brave or bad about waiting or starting to have sex… it’s just an activity humans do sometimes. Other times they don’t.

  8. Nancy says:

    What a shame she ruined such a pretty face.

    • Esmom says:

      Aw, I was thinking that she looks much better than she did for a while. She can’t completely undo what she did, that’s true, and it is indeed a shame.

      • Nancy says:

        She has said she is no longer putting in fillers, etc., but she still barely resembles the beauty she was. Time has done it’s thing, but she still would have been lovely had she not fall victim to the knife….like Priscilla Presley and Meg Ryan. Some of them never look the same. Her bff Jennifer looks amazing at 50. They all do something, but whatever she did was subtle. Hard to be a movie star!

    • Barrett says:

      She stopped w the filler but the lips still don’t fit her face. She’s meant for small lips like her old photos. Even her daughter has small lips.

    • anony7 says:

      The “thing” that strikes me about older faces is the prominent upper eyelid. I don’t mean the space above the eyes/below the eyebrows; I mean the lid that covers the upper part of the eye, like in the first photo. It just becomes so prominent, or bigger, or there’s more of it or something, when one ages. It has the effect of making the white part of the eyeball and the iris look smaller. Prominent upper eyelids , like Cox has, make a person look tired IMO. I don’t think there’s any surgery or “fix” for that.

  9. L84Tea says:

    I wish I had waited longer. It was my sophomore year of high school. Sheesh, tooooo young. Luckily the guy it was with, who was my age and in my grade and was my boyfriend, was not a total creep and I don’t regret that it was with him. We’re each married now and have families of our own, but he and I are still good friends and talk thru social media often. I think we will always have a soft spot for one another. But if I could go back and do it all over, I would have waited longer for sure.

  10. PhillyGal says:

    My younger son, out of the blue, started asking a lot of questions about sex when we were driving to the beach on vacation one year. My older daughter, my husband and I all had input into the answers. It was a really normal and natural conversation. My kids, who are now adults, have a healthy attitide about sex, and we still laugh about that day in the car. Compare that to my upbringing, where the topic wasn’t discussed until my parents realized I knew everything, then the conversation was all about “saving myself for marriage.”

  11. Sparkly says:

    I’m all about some sex positivity and have tried to keep an open conversation going with my kids. It was especially important to me because I had the opposite experience with my mom, who was very anti-sex. My plan hasn’t led to many healthy conversations because my kids are all “Eeeewww, mom, I absolutely do not want to talk to you about any of this!” And not because they have it handled, but because they’re uninterested and think it’s gross, I guess. The oldest two are teens, and only the 7 yo ever asks a question every now and then.

  12. Lucy2 says:

    She looks great in the last photo! Her daughter really looks like David.

    People should do what they are comfortable with and ready for.

  13. Krakken says:

    Coco!!! Looks so much like an Arquette woman!!! Love u forever Alexis!!! 💕

    Courtney Cox was also 21 when the dancing in the dark video was filmed. Who cares???


  14. styla says:

    That’s pretty much the average among everyone I know. There’s this weird idea out there that everyone loses theirs sooner and I have no idea why. I “waited” until that age, and it wasn’t even waiting, it was just because the idea of hooking up with boys I had grown up with seemed gross. Between 19 and 22 and your world opens up and I’d say the majority lose it then.

    • Grey says:

      I was an outlier by being almost 28 when I had sex, but no one I knew was having sex in high school. No one. 19-22 seems pretty average

      • nb says:

        I went to a really small high school (I graduated with 118 people in my grade) but a lot of my friends had sex before 18. This was about 15 years ago. One couple in my group of friends started having sex when they were 13/14 – way too young if you ask me, but they were comfortable with it and had no regrets. Most of my friends were 16/17 when they started. A lot of them, myself included, graduated with honors and we were considered ‘good kids’ so it’s not like I was running with the wrong crowd or something. We were just average high school kids. Out of all of them I waited the longest. I was 18 and had been with my boyfriend for over a year. It’s interesting to think I had a totally different experience in high school than both of you.

        The next thought is probably that people were lying about it but I honestly don’t think so. My friends and I were pretty open about stuff and understanding so there would be no reason to lie about having sex.

  15. maggi says:

    I was a virgin through the first year of nursing school, which meant that the first many stranger penises I handled were in the line of work.
    I phoned my mom the night before my first bed bath, sobbing that I had to wash a penis for the first time. My Norweigian mother, also a nurse, was like ‘oh shveetie, its just like doing dishes after a while’.
    she was right but it took a while to get to ‘doing the dishes’-type familiarity.
    and now, honestly, I find them silly as far as human anatomy goes

    • Annika says:

      OMG your story is EXACTLY the same as mine!!!!
      Only difference is that my mother is from Germany, not Norway.

  16. Jb says:

    I was 28!!! And lord I wished I had done it sooner and with someone far better and more deserving. I was so inexperienced (obviously) and still ill prepared that I continued sleeping with this ahole because I didn’t understand the difference between sex and love. I know personally if I had been sexually active sooner I could have seen what a bad idea he was a mile away and saved myself the embarrassment, pain and headaches he caused me. I dated guys before him but was soooo freaking scared to tell them about my VCard that They eventually got annoyed or tired and just gave up soooo not wanting to be a 30yr old virgin, just did it with the next douchebag who I sorta dated. Anyway my mom and dad never talked to us about sex even after 2 of my sisters got pregnant at 19 & 16 sooo sex for me was a mysterious/scary thing. Talk to your kids parents!!! Your kids will thank you later even if they don’t think so at the time!! :-)

  17. elimaeby says:

    I can’t believe Coco is so grown already. She is a lovely young lady!

  18. mtam says:

    I think it’s sad to think loosing your virginity in your 20s as an adult is considered late or looked down upon, and losing it in your teens—when you can barely understand the physical and emotional responsibilities of having sex and the possible risks (specially with the flawed or lack of real sexual education we are taught in most schools)—is considered normal or ideal.

  19. jamie says:

    i’m 22 and still a virgin. i think i will die a virgin. i’m not bad-looking or not worthy (even though sometimes i think i am), it’s just that in the country where i live the majority of guys are into toxic masculinity. it’s really hard to find even a guy friend here, someone that won’t sneer at you when they find out you are a feminist, someone who truly believes that women have real personalities (and are not some mindless pretty robots designed to serve, entertain and pleasure men or something. yes, it’s that bad for women here).
    i’ve been craving emotional and physical intimacy with a decent open-minded guy for many years now. i want my first time to be something special, not a one night stand with some a**hole.
    i believe i’ll find someone only when i leave and move to another country, but i’m not sure. the toxic society i live in f**ked me up so bad, i have major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder and other mental issues. i can get prescriptions for my conditions but therapy is too expensive. i think even if i make it to a normal country people won’t give me a chance to become their friend (or something more), cause i believe i’m damaged way beyond repair.
    sorry for bad english and oversharing

    • Snowflake says:

      You shouldn’t think that way. It sounds like things are pretty bad in your country, surely it would be better somewhere else. I’ve picked up and moved several times. At first, you’ll be lonely, esp if you don’t know anyone where you go. But keep going to the same places, you’ll start getting to know people who work there or go there. I mean, go to the same grocery store, etc. After awhile, the new place starts feeling like home. And yes, you will meet people who don’t think you’re “damaged goods.” I hate those words btw. Life experiences can leave you jaded and bitter sometimes. EVERYONE has baggage, some just hide it better than others. You are NOT damaged goods. The right guy will love you with all your baggage.

      I moved to my last city w a bf. Things weren’t going well, i thought a change of scenery should help. It didn’t so i broke up with him and was all alone in this big city. I dated some assholes, and i got really jaded and burnt out on men. I kept going to this sports bar that had good chicken wings. Long story short, that was where I ended up meeting my now husband. When i was at my most jaded and bitter, and had slept around. Was lonely and depressed. What some would say made me damaged goods. But he stuck by me for better or for worse. That’s what the right guy will do. If you’re not happy where you are, change it! Good luck to you. Ps, I’ve also found having a pet helps w loneliness.

      • jamie says:

        Wow, I didn’t expect a reply. Thank you for your kind words and thoughtful advise. I can’t speak on topics like that to anyone I know irl, so I really appreciate everything you said. I’m feeling more motivated than ever right now and I’m going to work my hardest to make it to the country I want to live in.
        Yes, I understand that everyone has baggage. I’ve always been that kind of person everyone wants to spill their guts to, so I know a lot about the things people have to go through. I try to keep in mind that other people suffer too, even those that are most unkind.
        Surely some understanding and supportive people will come my way. I need to remember that things are different in Western Europe. There are some many nice, open-minded people.
        I’ll try to be less self-deprecating from now on. It makes sense that you can’t really move forward with your life if you hate yourself and think you’re damaged.
        I’m sorry you had to go through something like this. You seem like a lovely person and you didn’t deserve all that crap. I’m glad you met the right guy and things are good for you now.
        Yes, pets do help a lot. My cat is a wonderful creature. Gotta play with him more often, though.

    • Himmiefan says:

      Hey. Hang in there. I hope you’re able to move to another country where women are treated better. Look at your strengths and have confidence in yourself, and good people will come your way.

  20. Elaine says:

    I was going to say her face looks MUCH better but in motion it still looks messed up 🙁 Why do people do this!! She was incredibly beautiful

  21. arr says:

    Tbh I think it is kind of strange how the media makes a bit of a thing of it when someone reveals that they were a virgin past highscool. I know a fair amount of people who were vigins when they were college-aged (18-22) and beyond. I just find it so annoying that we still have a discourse where people how have sex under the age of 16 are “loose” or over the age of 18 are “frigid.”

  22. Jaded says:

    I was almost 22 when I lost my virginity. I just didn’t feel equipped emotionally to deal with it until then. My parents had very rigid Victorian ideas about premarital sex and actually made me frightened of men – they were “monsters” who suddenly became wonderful if you held out and married them. Anyway, my first time was painful and embarrassing, I felt nothing. It wasn’t until I was well into my late twenties that I suddenly discovered I liked it – interestingly enough, the man who made me feel that way was my boyfriend in the late seventies. He dumped me for a much more exciting woman, but batshit crazy. He regretted it almost immediately but they had a daughter to raise so he bit the bullet. Thirty years and a divorce later he came looking for me and we’ve been together 4 years now. The sex is still great!! True story!

  23. Lady Wish says:

    I’m 25 and still haven’t lost my virginity. I’m just not good with people.

  24. DesertReal says:

    No biggie. I was 22 and it was with a POS fiance that I wound up marrying (then divorced after 3 years). For the longest I wished I’d done it sooner with far better previous boyfriend’s – but then if it wasn’t for my divorce, I never woulda met my better half. Different strokes – & rarely are they without any regrets. But, there’s nothing wrong with where you land, as long as you’re happy with the destination.

  25. TyrantDestroyed says:

    I was 20 and the guy was around 25. I’m glad I waited enough to take this decision but not too long either. It was fine but I had better experiences later in life.

  26. Helen says:

    32, still a virgin, never been in a romantic relationship, never kissed anyone. big whoop, life goes on, i love my family, bills still have to be paid. porn, imagination and good toys take care of the rest. *shrugs*

  27. Keaton says:

    I lost it at 17 to someone I didn’t care about because I felt pressured to “get it over with.” It wasn’t any one person pressuring me. It was more a general feeling that I was getting old. I’m not riddled with shame over my decision but I do regret it now.
    I’m happy to see so many of you didn’t feel that same pressure.

  28. Ridingeasy says:

    I think Lisa Kudrow was in her 30s when she lost it (to her hsuband) because she didn’t believe in premarital sex. She revealed this in an interview and then when people kept bringing it up like it was abnormal (she was older than most people but it’s her choice and it’s great she thought for herself and preferred to wait) she said that wasn’t true.