Hilaria Baldwin just gave birth to her fourth child ten months ago. Alec Baldwin recently said that he really doesn’t want any more children, because he worries that he’ll be too old when they’re done with school. Hilaria always maintained that she wants to just keep having babies forever though. So, Hilaria got pregnant again. She posted a message on Instagram – attached to an image of herself in her underwear – where she talks about feeling that she’s likely miscarrying this pregnancy:
I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage. I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss. I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies…and I don’t want to keep this from you, just because it isn’t as positive and shiny as the rest. I think it’s important to show the truth…because my job is to help people by being real and open. Furthermore, I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it. There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine—and it truly isn’t. I don’t want to have to pretend anymore. I hope you understand.
So, this is what is going on now: the embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait—and this is hard. So much uncertainty…but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult.
I am so blessed with my amazing doctor, my dear friends, and my loving family…My husband and my four very healthy babies help me keep it together and have the perspective of how truly beautiful life is, even when it occasionally seems ugly. The luck and gratitude I feel that I am my babies’ mommy, is wonderfully overwhelming and comforting.
In your comments, please be kind. I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.
There’s been more talk recently of the need to normalize conversations about miscarriages, which can be an incredibly painful loss. I applaud her for talking about the issue and sharing so much with her fans and supporters. My knee-jerk reaction was that she was oversharing, and that the reason why women don’t announce their pregnancies in the first trimester is because of this, because something could go wrong, because there could be a miscarriage. But she’s right – it’s like a big conversation that is rarely discussed in the public sphere.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
If he doesn’t want more children, there is something he can do about that.
I came to say that, if he doesn’t want more children maybe he should get a vasectomy or stop having unprotected sex. Jesus it’s not that hard, and why would she keep getting pregnant knowing he doesn’t want more? I understand she likes babies but bringing children into a marriage when one person doesn’t want more is ridiculously risky and selfish.
Totally. Except this is Alec Baldwin we’re talking about. He’s for sure the type of guy to say he ‘doesn’t like using condoms’ but somehow also expects there to be no more pregnancies.
Well, I’m glad she shared. So many of us go through this loss. I went through mine publicly, having announced in person to several people around the 10-week mark, only to find out at the 11-week mark that things were over. I felt so ashamed about it being public – like people were judging me for sharing too early. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it just added to the worries.
Anyways, I normally find her annoying, but I appreciate her doing this.
I’m sorry for your loss. If people judge you, then they are jerks.
I’ve had a miscarriage, I wouldn’t be posting about it during the actual miscarriage. Maybe take care of yourself and talk later? But that’s me.
I agree. I don’t think it’s something that people have not been talking about because they think it’s shameful – it’s painful emotionally and physically, and it takes a lot of strength to get through, and privacy helps.
Maybe privacy helps some. But being open and able to talk about it helps others. You don’t get to dictate how other people experience loss.
What should she be doing? Writing an instagram post took maybe 10 minutes of her day, and she clearly doesn’t have to rush to the hospital or anything.
I dunno. It took me 3~ weeks from finding out I would have a miscarriage until it finally happened “naturally.” It was the longest 3 weeks of my life. So, it’s not like she’s actively having it, she’s waiting for it to happen on it’s own.
I sort of agree. I understand that there is shame attached to miscarriages and yes, by talking publically about it, we are helping to reduce it. But then, a lot of women don’t talk about their pregnancies or losses because they are intimate and private. It is the same with disease and death. Most people feel like that is an intimate experience to be shared only with close ones. Not everything in life needs to be on social media. And as she says she is lucky, she has good doctors and a great support system and this is where you should get your strength from, not from comments on instagram.
But if she doesn’t talk about it, then she’s hiding it as so many have.
OP, I’m sorry for your loss.
I think she’s doing a good thing by opening up this discussion. And it’s probably therapeutic for her to write it all down. Best of luck to her.
She write: “In your comments, please be kind. I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support.” I don’t think this has anything to do with writing being therapeutic and everything to do with feeding her / his ego and need for attention. She needs to step away from social media and lead her life and look after the four children she already has. Discussing a miscarriage can certainly happen but not when it actually hasn’t happened. The pregnancy could turn out to be viable and then what: “Oops. Sorry folks. All is well after all.”
While I have strong opinions about overpopulation, too many children not getting attention and time they need, having children in your last leg of life, all of that is not as important as the conversation around miscarriage and our current norms of hiding it and all the emotions that that brings. It’s not practical for me to hide it in my professional life, I have to tell my colleagues immediately because I cannot take certain patients or participate in certain procedures that can be harmful to the fetus. So it seems strange to me to “have to hide it” in my personal life. When going through a miscarriage, I would want those around me to know. It’s hard enough and then you add the significant changes in hormones, rollercoaster of emotions, the stages of grief, etc – it’s too heavy to bear on one’s own.
I am grateful for her bravery and that she has a large platform to extend this very important message and story.
I guess it’s a private matter. I would like to wait for the first trimester to pass and then, maybe, announce. The way we experience pain is different and we should choose when and how we share things with the world.
I just had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago
At 12 weeks we discovered there was no longer a heartbeat
I waited a week and a half to see if Id miscarry naturally and i did not. I took meds from the doc in induce it and had complications that almost killed me. I hemorrhaged slightly more than half the blood in my body, fainted and hit my head…and it was a complete traumatic disaster.
I would up in the ER, had 5 staples in my head, 2 blood transfusions, and a dnc.
Ive had miscarriages before but this one nearly took my life. Im fortunate to have 2 healthy kids.
But the loss of baby to be, the loss of blood (which I still am not back to normal) and the head trauma have all added up to a lot of rest and restlessness.
As for Hilaria: She strikes me as someone who wants to turn EVERYTHING into something; i appreciate her talking about miscarriage but I also roll my eyes a little bc – and maybe im just a bitch- but it seems like this is her first- yes ok im being a bitch! I guess i just think she shouldn’t say she’s miscarrying until she does. She might miscarry or she might not. Maybe this is her way of controlling the narrative with something we cant control…but she cant say she had a miscarriage until she does…and will 4 healthy kids I guess yeah Im jealous of her a little.
ugh sorry for the rant…I guess she just seems like a total attention seeker but whatever. Miscarriages suck.
I’m so sorry for your loss, as if a miscarriage isn’t traumatic enough you had all that on top. I’m glad you’re on the mend and hoping you feel back to yourself soon!
I agree about Hilaria, I’ve always thought she loves the attention. It’s good to open up a dialogue about miscarriage, but in her fkng underwear? I’m not surprised. I flipped through her Instagram once and found it so strange that she does exercises like pelvic thrusting in skimpy lingerie, nope. She’s obsessed with herself.
I thought it was strange, too, that she posted a pic totally in her bra and panties, huh? Is she looking for attention? I had no idea she was like this, but apparently so, hmmm. Miscarriage is one thing, and I personally don’t understand why she would be so sad since they already have four children. It seems like four children would be quite enough to love, don’t you? But do you really need to explain your predicament in bra and panties?
I’m so sorry, Stormsmama. Sending love to you ❤️
Sending love ❤️🤗
so very sorry for your loss, and all of the complications. As if the loss wasn’t enough…….God bless.
Sorry for your loss.
As for Hilaria, she said that she is most likely experiencing a miscarriage. She explained about the baby’s heartbeat and everything. My guess is that she wouldn’t have used that word if her doctor weren’t saying it as well. She didn’t claim to have a miscarriage when she hasn’t.
She’s extra, but I’m glad she decided to talk about this. I was in what sounds like a very similar situation to her, as far as the growth & heartbeat of the baby and the prognosis of the pregnancy (I chose not to wait and see if I miscarried, but to have an abortion in an effort to, hopefully, give my body a better chance at carrying to term at another time) and it is was so hard to keep everything inside, as far as what was happening and how I felt and how stressful it was. I vowed, if I become pregnant again, to tell people from the start–good or bad. It’s an individual choice, for sure, but be it during or after, we do need to talk more about these situations–as well as basically everything about women’s’ “inner” lives.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I agree with you that we should talk more about it all – good or bad.
I don’t fully buy into the thought that miscarriage isn’t discussed because it’s “shameful”. I think it’s more not discussed because it’s tragic and sad and a difficult time. I don’t share my health problems , which include a positive cancer gene, with others- Not because I’m ashamed but more because everyone is going through their stuff. I’ve had two pregnancy losses. More than half of my friends have had a pregnancy loss as well. If someone feels shame, than that is also very sad and undeserved and I would want to help out anyone with those feelings and encourage them to share if that felt best. But is that the real reason why miscarriage isn’t discussed? I tend to think no.
This. Every woman is free to discuss her pregnancy or miscarriage on her own time and terms, but it’s like the pendulum has swung the other way, where if you don’t want to discuss something this painful, you’re contributing to the “shame” or stigma. It’s not really fair to women who just don’t want to publicize their loss.
I’m sorry for your losses, I’ve had two as well. I started talking openly about mine because I’m 37 and I can’t tolerate parents’ friends asking “so where’s that baby? hint hint!” I just started being honest and saying there’s no baby because i keep losing my babies. i realize people who say things like this to women who don’t have chidren do not have bad intentions but they have got to THINK before making remarks like that. so tangent over: yes, there are different reasons people talk or don’t talk about their miscarriages.
I’m sorry for your losses, MissML and Sara.
I think it’s both reasons – private, and because some women don’t want to be shamed. I’ve read numerous times – and even above – where women felt like they were “less than” because they weren’t able to carry a baby to term. Some of that is due to societal and family pressure and comments.
Alec Baldwin is 61.
I wish them the best.
Hilaria is the ultimate oversharer and loves attention, but I do agree it is good for her to share this if she wants to.
I can’t IMAGINE Alec Baldwin having all of those little kids running around the house. It seems like he’s barely holding it together himself.
That’s my only experience with pregnancy. This has happened to me twice. Going in for the first scan, being told the heartbeat is too low and the baby measuring too small and that it’s still 50/50 so come back in next week. Going in the next week and being told the heartbeat is gone and I’ve miscarried. The 2nd time was worse because I got to actually HEAR the heartbeat. My face lit up and the ultrasound tech kept a stone cold face. I hate the ultrasound room. I utterly HATE that room. We’re on our way to IVF treatment now after trying long enough again and being old enough that my OB told us it’s time for fertility treatment. I’m sorry to hear she’s going through this. It’s so awful.
I, too, hate the ultrasound room. The air is so heavy with could bes, maybes, nevermores….
Hugs, Sara. I experienced a lot of loss – and now I have two beautiful little girls. I had something called antiphospholipid antibodies during pregnancy, which was causing miscarriages.
My girls don’t erase the pain of loss…but I never dreamed I would have two children in my arms one day. I hope you do too, some day.
Even though most people think there’s no shame involved. In my culture, miscarriage is very much still a woman’s problem. As in, women did the “wrong” thing, so the baby left. It’s really ignorant of course, but some of my friends were really shamed for “losing” the baby. One of my friends fell out with me after trying for a baby for many years. She said she just couldn’t be around me anymore after I got pregnant. It was one of the saddest breakups with a friend.
It helps when public figures speak up because it normalize it. With it comes more information based on science rather than superstition. So, I do not fault her for talking about it.