I’ve noticed an interesting little trend among celebrity women over the past five years or so: the garbage 20s. As in, more and more often these days, women are like “my 20s were utter garbage.” Everyone tells women that their 20s should be happy and fun times, full of love affairs and drinking and great metabolism, and that they should use their 20s to figure out the next six decades of their lives. The reality is different though – crappy jobs, no savings, love drama, horrible mistakes, etc. Maybe it’s the generation, but it feels like more women are coming into their 30s feeling genuine RELIEF that their Garbage 20s are over.
I bring this up because Vanessa Hudgens is one of those 30-year-old women who seems happier now that her Garbage 20s are done. Vanessa is featured in the current Most Beautiful People issue of People Mag, and she told the mag about her “midlife crisis” at 27.
Vanessa Hudgens has learned to embrace the beauty of growing older. After experiencing a “midlife crisis” at the age of 27, Hudgens says she now feels more confident than ever at 30.
“I remember waking up at 27 and that was the first moment where I was like, ‘Oh. I am not a kid. I’m not a teenager. I’m an adult and I have responsibilities.’ I felt like I had no idea who I was or what I wanted or what I was going after,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s Beautiful Issue.
And while the actress admits the momentary freakout was scary, it ultimately helped her refocus her life. “I’m very grateful for it because then it forced me to reassess who I am and what I believe in, therefore giving me just a better understanding of myself,” she says. “Now that I’ve reached 30, it’s so nice feeling free to just speak your mind.”
But one downside to growing older? Realizing that some pesky problems never really go away. “I thought being 30 I wouldn’t have to deal with breakouts anymore and it’s something that I still deal with,” she says. “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my face is the only one I got, so I have to be good to it.”
Hudgens says she’s also learned the value of self-care. “The first step was just actually taking care of myself,” she says. “My health, my skin, my body — I feel like by doing so, you’re showing yourself love, so it’s creating that foundation of love for yourself.”
It’s not a mid-life crisis, it’s what’s generally known as a quarterlife crisis. I mean, who knows, maybe she’ll live to be 100. Maybe a third-life crisis would be more accurate, but whatever. The point is that people in their 20s rarely have sh-t figured out and they’re still growing as people. One of the best parts about ageing is that you genuinely lose some of those worries and What Does It All Mean feelings. You just get on with it and stop giving a sh-t about the little stuff. And just when you get to a good place mentally and stop giving a f–k about the sh-t you can’t control, that’s when your body starts falling apart. It never ends, really!!
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I think that your 20s being garbage is kind of the next step after high school and college. Like, growing up I always heard that those years (high school and college) were the best years of your life (true for very few people I think.) Now I think there is more of an emphasis on your 20s being the best years! You’re an adult! you have freedom! You’re making money! etc.
But for many its more like you said -financial stress, job insecurity, figuring out what the next step is, probably some significant personal developments (dating, potentially marriage, etc.) I liked my 20s and had a good time, but I have really enjoyed my 30s, even though they are harder in some ways. I feel like I have much more freedom now.
I completely agree, now that I am in my 40’s I have more confidence in myself and choices than I ever did when I was younger. Mind you I was a young mom and my 20’s consisted of being a parent and working hard to get an education to improve our situation. I was an exhausted mess lol However my 30’s were much better career and financially but I still had many personal demons to work out. I’m in my 40’s and decided to relocate to another country and lifestyle so I’m back to square one again but I know now that struggle is temporary and I’ve made the best choice for myself. Both of my boys are adults now so it’s my time.
25 was rough, then 41 and then going through early menopause made 42-45 rough. My current 47 is so much better. I can see light again.
Eh. Your twenties shouldn’t be the best decade of your life because hopefully you have so much more to live. But they shouldn’t be garbage either. I think the problem is people can’t focus on the present and are always either thinking about the past or focused on the future. Just enjoy it for what it is – a decade in your life. There’s nothing that says you have to spend your 20’s a certain way, do you.
Sammmeee.
I also pulled my groin muscle on my 27th birthday. It was all downhill from that haha. I’m hoping 29 makes up for it when I hit it in a couple of weeks because goddamn, I’ve had so much shit luck in the last two years between health stuff, sick/dying pets, sick mothers and mother in laws… it’s just been one thing after another lol.
So I get where she’s coming from. We’re still plenty young, but man, it can wear you down – at least until you hit the comfortably jaded point, I guess.
OMG,Being 27 myself I can Totally identify with this..I’m more comfortable now(in my late 20s)than I was earlier.Its funny,I’d wanted to beat the “oh your 20s are crap”phrase,but Gosh I think it’s just apart of growing up,it’s like you’re 27 a grown woman,but also kinda/sorta a Child type of thing,who’s tryna have it all before the “Big dirty thirty”.Just a lot of internalized pressure I suppose,but I totally agree.
I’m 26 and can confirm your 20s are difficult. In many ways this period of my life has been incredible — I’ve traveled to new countries, I bought a home, I have a good job (not one that I LOVE necessarily, but it takes care of the bills and I enjoy it enough). But it’s tough because everyone is growing at different rates in their 20s. I have friends who are married and thinking about children. I’m single and enjoy it. I have friends who still live at home. It’s a difficult time to keep up with the people you care about because we’re all living totally unique lives at this point, and there’s no more school to bond us.
I think there’s a lot of pressure to “become who you’re meant to be” in your 20s. Find someone to potentially settle down with, find your dream job, live somewhere awesome, etc. Of course, life doesn’t work that way, but people in this age range feel a lot of pressure to balance hustling, having a good social life, keeping up a nice home, staying connected to family, etc. It’s just a lot. I’m lucky to be pretty comfortable with myself, so all I really need to do is remind myself that I’m still young. I don’t have all my ducks in a row yet, but I still have lots and lots of time to find that dream job, find a partner, etc.
I’m thankful that 30 is the new 20, lol.
THIS SO MUCH! Thank you!
Turning 30 this July… totally agree
20s suck, 30s are up and down but it’s what you make of it. If I could go back in time knowing what I know now perhaps life would be different. But I still have existential crises in my 30s so 🤷🏻♀️
That crisis and self examination at 27/28 is also pretty standard Saturn Return stuff, too.
I’m turning 27 next month, and I am currently going through a quarter life crisis. I have a good job with good pay but it’s not what i want to do for the rest of my life. I have traveled and experienced many great things but I am not where I thought I’d be. Just a couple of months ago I decided to move back to CA and that will happen in the next few months. I don’t have a husband or kids so the time to do it is now. I just want change and this is the year to do it.
My mid to late 20s were the happiest years of my life. I knew who I was, I liked who I was. That all went to sh— when I hit my 30s. Haven’t known who I am or what the hell happened to me for years now. 🙁
I feel like there have been good days and bad days in all the decades of my life so far. I’m 36.
I would totally agree with this sentiment that 20s aren’t all we are told they’re going to be. Well at least not the early 20s. I feel like I finally found myself feeling like I hoped I would at 29. My 20s were full of tears and doubt and depression and low self esteem and staying with people who emotionally abused me because I didn’t know I deserved better. I put myself in bad situations, knowing they were bad situations because I had no confidence in my abilities or worth.
Once I hit 28/29 I realized I can tell people to fuck off, I am worth so much more and I’m good as is. My depression lifted and I felt happy and confident in myself. And my 30s have been where all my “real” living has been done. Just wished I could’ve kept the 20 year old body and skin lol
Just here to say that Vanessa Hudgens is half-Filipina so I always root for her career. I think she’s getting more beautiful with age, just saw her in Drunk History as Mata Hari, she was stunning *and* hilarious!
Midlife crisis at 27?
Oh, sweetheart–you ain’t seen nothing yet.
When it hits in your early to mid-forties, it *hits*. Nowadays, it’s called “midlife transition”. And my parents were right when they told me, back in the ’80s (when they were going through it), that you have absolutely no idea what it’s like until you experience it.
At around 26-27, a change/transition does happen, as you enter a new stage of psychological development (I experienced that, too)–but it’s not even close to what happens at midlife.
25 was rough. I remember hearing how your 20’s are so great and it’s the decade where you get your job and you get married and start having kids. At 25 I was still in school (law school, but still poor) and still hadn’t really even dated anyone. I thought, “I am halfway through this all important decade with nothing to show for it.” I met my husband a few weeks before my 30th birthday, and all those things happened mostly in that decade. Now I am in my 50’s, and I wouldn’t go back to my 20’s for anything. I get Vanessa. My life is harder now, but I know who I am.
Thank you for this comment. As someone more than halfway through her 20s without much dating going on, sometimes I worry I’ll never find my person, especially since most of my friends are already in serious relationships. I like being single a lot, but sometimes you can’t help but think about just becoming a crazy cat lady lol. This post made me really happy.
@case, I totally lived that. What worked for me – I found a prayer to attract love, which I prayed every night for a year. I found it both focused and relaxed me and caused me to say yes to opportunities I might otherwise say no to (not anything crazy, but just said yes even if I was tired or in a bad mood). If you aren’t religious you can find a mantra or something else. I spent some dud evenings and had a few lousy first dates. Fast forward one year and a guy I met at church needed another girl for a coed sports team. I thought about saying no, but said yes. I knew the moment I met another team member that he was someone special. My advice is just to be true to yourself, but open to opportunities you might otherwise skip.
“and that they should use their 20s to figure out the next six decades of their lives”
Kaiser, that one line is so poignant. I’m mid-30’s now considering a major career change and trying not to regret choosing my path that I chose at age 23 (and sunk major expense into) and reading that makes me feel so much better! How silly it is that we expect to figure everything out as fresh new adults and never change our minds for the rest of our working lives!
I will be 30 in December and can agree 100% that the past decade of my life hasn’t been great. I’ve struggled with crippling anxiety/depression, low self-esteem, health issues, weight gain, growing up too young, a lot on my plate from becoming a mother and wife at 17… Finally, only within the past six months, I feel like I am finally coming into my self as an adult woman. Finding my self. Learning what I like/dislike in life. What I need/don’t need. As much as I don’t want to age because YOUTH, I’m trying to welcome my 30s with grace and gratitude.
“And just when you get to a good place mentally and stop giving a f–k about the sh-t you can’t control, that’s when your body starts falling apart.”
exactly 😭😭😭
32 now but have concluded that at my mid 40s to mid 50s will be the golden years bc i’ll hopefully not be so financially stressed, my parents won’t be too old yet and my body won’t be so broken down. that small window of time in my life might be worth living. gonna spend the rest of my 30s trying to set myself up for that. having children would ruin that little slice of potential relief, what with the tremendous financial, physical and emotional expense they incur. would have absolutely loved having a family in another life, though. much more than working like a dog for an employer that wouldn’t even think twice about replacing me.
My twenties were godawful (I’m 66). The worst decade of my life for many reasons, but jeebuz it was a decade of nothing but struggle – emotionally, financially, mentally, with work, relationships, family. Horrible. It wasn’t until my forties that everything sort of came together – I left a difficult relationship, got a great job, just sort of developed an I-don’t-give-a-f*ck attitude and became not selfish but not as giving as I used to be. I was a born people-pleaser and realized then that it was not a healthy way to be, too many people took advantage of it. Ironically I got back together with an old boyfriend from my late twenties who broke my heart, then after his marriage fell apart he came looking for me when I was in my early sixties. So this decade has turned out to be the best – don’t fear aging ladies, we find ourselves as the decades progress and good things happen.
I love this advice, Jaded.
Im going through my quarter life crisis right now. Im unemployed again, the last time I was unemployed was straight after varsity. The debt, stress and feeling of failure made my intrusive violent ocd thoughts come alive for two whole years. Im scared that will come back sppn. I just cant. And I cant afford therapy.