Tamron Hall felt hopeless doing IVF in her 40s, said everything looked gray

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I just now realized that Tamron Hall’s son, Moses, was born on my daughter’s birthday, April 24. I kept looking at that date and wondering why it looked so familiar and then I remember, aw, that’s when my favorite woman was born. Tamron gave birth to her “sonshine” at the age of 48. Conceiving at her age is difficult anyway, but In Tamron’s case, she mentioned she had other medical factors that added to her fertility challenges. Tamron had tried to conceive via in vitro fertilization in her 30s and those treatments never resulted in a viable pregnancy. But she and husband Steven Greener decided to try again after they’d gotten together. Tamron said going through the same process with both time and physical factors working against her made her see the whole thing in a different way, A grayer, bleaker way.

For Tamron Hall, in vitro fertilization was a big part of her journey toward eventually becoming a mom to son Moses on April 24.

But at first, her emotions about so many women now undergoing the treatment were mixed, as the former Today host had “tried fertility procedures” previously, in her 30s, and not been successful.

“At one of the first fertility clinics, it was so eye-opening,” Hall, 48, recalls to PEOPLE of her “tough” experience this time around. “I walked in, and there were probably 200 women going in and out.”

“You’re smacked with the reality of ‘You’re not alone,’ but it didn’t feel empowering,” she explains. “It felt sad because I thought, ‘We’re not alone, but we’re all still holding on to some hope that some of us will have to give up along the way.’ “

“When I tried in my 30s, I still felt like I had some time, and the fertility clinic felt like a bright room,” she tells PEOPLE. “In my 40s I saw all the gray: The faces looked gray, the walls were gray, nothing seemed shiny and optimistic.”

“Just like with my job search during that time, there were so many frustrations: I’m putting in the work, I’m taking care of my mind and my body, and I’m being rejected,” says Hall of the time following her involuntary departure from Today‘s third hour in 2017.

[From People]

I was fascinated by her description of how she saw the clinic the second time around. But it makes sense, that’s why we have the phrase “looking at life through rose colored glasses.” Optimism helps us filter out any hopelessness. It must have been a shock for Tamron to see the facility in such a way. I imagine there were women there like the 30-year old Tamron who only saw the shine. Getting existential, I wonder how many situations like this we all face regularly. Like banks, I’ll bet at any given time, there is someone who sees only opening doors and someone who only sees dead ends.

Tamron equated herself to Rocky by saying that she, “kept getting up.” I did not have IVF treatments and only have a few friends that did. It is a wonderful option for those who want and are able to pursue it. But it takes a great deal of resources and can take a huge emotional toll. One of my friends did upwards of 12 rounds of IVF before they conceived. I was awed by how she rebounded every time she got upsetting results. But I couldn’t have done it. I might have had the strength, but I could not have afforded more than possibly two rounds. I don’t think Tamron is saying anything other than she is so blessed to have been able to do this. But for anyone reading this who does not have Tamron’s resources, I’m sorry if the cost stopped you. You’re still the Rocky in your story.

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Photo credit: People, Instagram and WENN Photos>

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12 Responses to “Tamron Hall felt hopeless doing IVF in her 40s, said everything looked gray”

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  1. Escondista says:

    I am going through secondary infertility. After many miscarriages I am pregnant right now and really hopeful again.
    I didn’t have IVF but I got involved in the infertility community so I know so many people who are going through it. I thought IVF was guaranteed successful because of science but it is not. The hormones, the invasive visits, the cost – it’s such a tough road for women.

    If you have friends who don’t have children or don’t have more than one, I’d refrain from asking when they are or if they’re giving their child a sibling. I’d also avoid telling your “pregnancy is easy” stories to people unless you know what’s going on. No eggshell walking here, just respect for the things people may be enduring privately.
    So glad Tamron got her rainbow baby.

    • TQB says:

      +10000000000

    • Sparkles says:

      Escondista, we conceived my child on the first try. It’s now been about a year since we started trying for a second one. It’s so hard when this happens. Do you mind if I ask what you think helped you to finally conceive? Any advice?

  2. Kiki says:

    I am just happy for Tamron Hall. I wished and her family all the best

  3. Lucy2 says:

    I had no idea she was in her late 40s! Happy for her.

    OMG. I can’t imagine going through TWELVE rounds of IVF. I thinks after a few I would quit and change tactics, but I’m glad it finally worked for them.

  4. Barrett says:

    I did one and my husband wasn’t supportive. It’s expensive. We ended up in counseling. The shots stink but I didn’t think the side effects were worse than ugh clomid!

    My physician just told me she did 8 cycles and finally conceived but she told me she won’t do it again bc all those hormones may up chances of cancer. She got her beautiful baby and she’s done. See theories on Elizabeth Edwards cancer.

  5. Jackie says:

    What so many people don’t realize is while IVF has the highest success rates, it’s not a guarantee. I see so many newbies in my IVF support groups who think it’s going to happen with one try. Sometimes it does, but most times it doesn’t. It took 7 tries for me to finally get pregnant with my son, and 4 of those tries with were donor eggs which has the highest success rates of all forms of IVF.

  6. Mego says:

    I read an article that young women who donated eggs several times got a deadly form of cancer and did not know of the risks involved. Also see a documentary called Eggsploitation: Maggie’s Story. Scary stuff.

  7. Qatar2 says:

    I was one of the lucky ones who got pregnant on the first round of IVF. I personally didn’t find it physically or emotionally demanding but I know my experience is very unique and my heart aches for woman who do struggle with it, have to undergo multiple rounds, have losses, unsupportive spouses and family members, etc. It is easy to see how the 3x per week visits, the repeated scans revealing bad news, and seeing the same faces in the clinic round after round can be depressing and defeating.

    My experience made me passionate about the importance of destigmatizing infertility and infertility treatment!

  8. Madpoe says:

    I can’t bring myself to reading this. My hubby and I tried whle in my 30′s and failure after failure I couldn’t handle the emotional let downs. I was alone in this, sitting in the feritily doctors office watching pregnant women come and go with their better half. What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t my hubby with me? Now at 45 – there’s a hole in my heart that nothing can fill. A part of me felt if we could afford the cost of IVF, if our jobs didn’t get in the way something. There were no answers why I couldn’t get pregnant. You grow so weary of hearing what other people have to say it’ll happen, it’s in god’s hands, pray on it, don’t stress so much. then you’re sitting there watching the 11 0′clock news and some “mother” threw her newborn in the microwave or off the roof. Or left the child with her “boyfriend”. Welp, guess god would rather have people like that as parents while I get to just watch. Idk. sorry to rant.

    • Blacksred says:

      I feel the same way hearing about people with more children than they can take care of or mistreating them.

  9. adastraperaspera says:

    Can we get her back as a national news anchor, please? She is so much more qualified than many of the talking heads we’re subjected to hourly.