Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk don’t live together, only do overnights 4 times a week

Brad Falchuk, Gwyneth Paltrow at the ind...

Gwyneth Paltrow’s relationship with Brad Falchuk started as an affair when they were both married to other people. When she secured Brad as her jumpoff, only then did she and Chris Martin consciously uncouple. Post-conscious uncoupling, Brad and Gwyneth still took it relatively slowly – after all, he needed to secure a divorce from his wife as well, and the divorce process for both of them took a while (in California-divorce time). Brad and Gwyneth would go out and most people knew they were together, but it wasn’t some “they’re attached at the hip” deal. Then he proposed, and they got married last year in the Hamptons. And in all that time… they’ve never really moved in together, apparently. Brad still has his own place, and Gwyneth still has her own place (with her kids). She told the Sunday Times Style Magazine that they only spend four nights a week with each other:

She’s a wildly successful Hollywood actress and entrepreneur who is famous for her creative, and sometimes quirky, lifestyle choices. And Gwyneth Paltrow, 46, revealed that she still doesn’t live with husband Brad Falchuk in Los Angeles in order to keep ‘polarity’ in their newly married life. The founder of Goop, who was wed for the second time in September, admitted that Brad only stays with her for four nights a week, spending the rest of the time at his own house.

Speaking to the Sunday Times Style Magazine, the actress said the couple’s friends think their unorthodox set-up is ‘ideal’.

She said: ‘Oh, all my married friends that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing’.

The actress previously revealed she and the TV writer don’t live together yet because they are trying to navigate their blended family and be respectful of their children. But the Sliding Doors actress also admitted her intimacy teacher taught her ‘polarity’ to keep the relationship fresh.

[From The Daily Mail]

I’m such a loner, this is probably the only kind of marriage which would work for me – the kind of marriage where I could have my own private space and nights away from my partner. Everybody’s different and some married couples don’t need to or want to spend every waking moment together, or spend every night together by choice. I wonder if people would have a better reaction to this if it was someone other than Gwyneth, though. Because coming from her, it sounds less “everybody’s different, do what works for you” and more like “I’m so evolved and special and elitist that my intimacy teacher suggested that Polarity Is The Future, only peasants live together while married.”

Also: I find it curious that there are references to “we’re being respectful of our children” sprinkled in a lot of stories about Gwyneth and Brad. Gwyneth’s children (Moses and Apple) seem fine with Brad and they both seem to have great relationships with Chris. I wonder if… Brad’s kids have an issue with how everything went down between Brad and their mom? It sort of feels that way, doesn’t it?

Here’s a cute thing which went viral a few days ago. Gwyneth did not remember that she was in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Brad Falchuk, Gwyneth Paltrow at the ind...

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red and WENN.

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132 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk don’t live together, only do overnights 4 times a week”

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  1. Elisabeth says:

    she’s so extra

    • Tris says:

      Sorry Goop, but Helena Bonham Carter lived next door to her husband in separate houses FIRST. You didn’t invent living apart.

      • Ennie says:

        So did Mia Farrow and her then partner Woody Allen (urgh), decades ago.

      • minx says:

        She thinks she invented absolutely everything.

      • Maria says:

        Frida Kahlo did it first.

      • Myrtle says:

        So did Tracy and Hepburn (albeit he was married to someone else, but still.) Call it polarity, keeping the spark alive, whatever you want. Call it a clean bathroom sink! I think it’s the ideal arrangement for those who can afford 2 homes.

      • Still_Sarah says:

        I think actress Cloris Leachman had an arrangement like this. I believe she said every married couple should have two homes plus a third for the kids if they could afford it.
        I also think Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini did this too – two homes.’

      • Bella Bella says:

        I think SJP and Matthew Broderick do this as well in adjacent brownstones.

      • LahdidahBaby says:

        Mr. Lahdidah and I have ALWAYS each had our own bedroom, from our very first year together–which isn’t to say we don’t choose to sleep together in one bed on many nights. The point has always been that we didn’t HAVE to, so it keeps things fresh, never routine. But most of all, I just need to know that I have my own room to go to, a space where I can close myself off from everything—including Mr. LDD if I choose, in part because of his snoring, yes—but more because I’m a writer and I work all night most nights and would be coming to bed at around 4:00 or 5:00 AM, when his alarm goes off at 5:30 AM…and off…and off…and OFF, because he keeps it set to “snooze.” Aside from that, though, I just like having my own small space to retreat to. I never had a room of my own growing up, as one of eight kids, and I didn’t need Virginia Woolf to convince me of what it means to a woman to have a room of her own…it’s a happy reminder that I’m in charge of my life. Goop didn’t invent it, you’re so right!

    • KEEKS says:

      I need to do this. My husband snores like a bear. It would definitely make me a more rested, peaceful human.

    • Christo says:

      What do you expect? She needs a few off days for a vaginal steaming and jade egg insertion.

  2. IlsaLund says:

    Intimacy teacher? Wow.

    • perplexed says:

      That’s the part that stood out to me more than the living apart stuff.

      • Snappyfish says:

        Polarity? The pomposity with this chick is beyond. I am guessing his kids aren’t a fan of daddy’s jump off.

    • Snowslow says:

      Intimacy teacher job profile: get that money boo.

    • Tourmaline says:

      I love it and can’t stop laughing.
      Whatever is needed to keep Falchuk’s pole fresh right

  3. Toot says:

    Yeah, Brad’s kids might not like Gwyneth, so this works on many levels.

    • Agirlandherdog says:

      They covered this on GMA this morning, also. And they had a little more from the interview, where GP admitted she had a rough start with his son, but says things have smoothed out now that they’ve had some time to define their relationship.

    • minx says:

      She probably tells them what to eat, etc. I could see her being a real pain in the asz.

      • AMAyson1977 says:

        Omg, can you IMAGINE Goop as a step-mother?? To TEENAGERS?? She’s probably just the worst, all full of herself and thinking the kids are going to like her better than *their own actual mother* and passive-aggressive when they don’t. I bet she’s the kind of woman who thinks she’s winning if she forces her husband to take her side over theirs. I’m sure those kids cannot stand her.

      • Justwastingtime says:

        If his kids are slightly older than hers, which I think is the case, she is probably getting a significant wake up call as to what is coming up with her kids.

        Not that she will recognize it. She is the sort to explain to the mother of her husbands kids how she (the husbands ex wife) ought to deal with her children.,

  4. Embee says:

    LOL on the Spider Man thing. I can see it. In my work I will sometimes come across a name or whatever and I have literally NO recall of the situation. As for the married-but-living-independently, yes please. My favorite times being married were when my spouse traveled Mon-Thursday for work.

    • elimaeby says:

      I watched that Chef show this weekend, and it was one of the only times I genuinely found myself liking Lady Goop. LOL. Jon explaining the exact scene and that it was, in fact, in a Spider Man movie. She was so surprised.

  5. ByTheSea says:

    I. Love. this. I’m so jealous. No snoring for 3 days. No mess in the bathroom. I think marriages would actually last if each person had their own home. LOL

    • elimaeby says:

      My mother used to say this all the time. For a while, she was in upper management at a very large company (back in the 80s) and kept a small apartment near her office while we also had our house in the burbs. She swore it was the happiest she and my dad ever were together.

    • Esmom says:

      I’m with you. And while you may laugh, I actually think it’s an arrangement maybe more people should consider. With divorce rates so high, clearly something’s not working with the traditional marriage dynamic for a lot of people. I know I am really relaxed and sleep much better on the nights that my husband is traveling.

      I know we’ve talked about this before here but if separate houses aren’t feasible, separate beds/rooms are also an “atypical” arrangement that is pretty nice.

      • Algernon says:

        My husband and I both travel frequently for work. In an average month, we spend perhaps one week together. It is amazing and works so well for us. We enjoy our time together, which is all the better for spending time apart. Also, when we renovated our house we converted the entire second floor into a master suit with separate closets and baths, it makes a huge difference. We’re not in each other’s way, no resentment over closet space or hair left in the sink, etc. I know that’s not feasible for everyone, but just using separate bathrooms can make such a difference in the dynamic.

      • Redgrl says:

        Because of our work and family commitments there ends up being one night a week that hubby is at home without me and one night where I’m home without him. It’s perfect and we both love having our own space those nights – including hogging the whole bed!

    • Megan says:

      Separate bathrooms is the key to a happy marriage.

      • Minxx says:

        I couldnt agree more! We have separate bathrooms and I swear, I sleep better when he’s away.

      • FHMom says:

        I came here to say that. What I wouldn’t give to have my own bathroom that nobody else could use.

      • Moses says:

        My guy and I do all of the household chores and cooking jointly and share household expenses, but we have separate bathrooms, closets, and checking accounts. It just removes so much potential for drama or tension.

      • Mash says:

        rolled thru to say this is KEY…enaged here and my fiance moved into my house a year in and i know the kicker was we have separate bathrooms…so i know we have space to be funk demons we want to be LOLOL

    • SNAP says:

      @bythesea: You and Gwinny are on to something…i’ve been thinking about doing that myself. I’m remarried and while i love my hubby, his two daughters are used by his ex to cause problems. We’ve tried many things but i’ve come to the conclusion that we should have separate homes. Truth be told if i had to do it again i’d keep my apartment and would just keep dating him. He is an amazing man but to me, the things i’ve been put through in remarriage are not worth everything i gave up. Hindsight i guess.

      • ByTheSea says:

        Same here. Married a wonderful man who would become a world-class a-hole around his kids and ex-wife. Had I known then what I know now, I would’ve probably kept dating him, but not married him and limited my exposure to that side of him.

      • dj says:

        Ditto! If someone would have just told me that step-children would NEVER like/love me it would have saved me many tearful nights! Dating would have been better in hindsight.

    • Yup, Me says:

      My husband and I have our own version of this arrangement and I keep telling women who hear about us and ask me questions “I highly recommend it.” It’s wonderful on so many levels.

    • SamC says:

      I think my Dad traveling extensively for work is why they’ve managed to hit the 50 year mark. Even in retirement while they do travel together they also have separate groups they travel with, and if too long goes between separate trips, well, too much togetherness is not a good thing, lol!

    • Adrianna says:

      I would like this. I don’t want to be with someone 24/7. It’s not exactly “familiarity breeds contempt” but having a weekly break would make seeing him much more interesting.

    • oh-dear says:

      I have a friend who did this with her second husband. They took 2 years after their wedding to move in together full time so their family could negotiate shared space. They have 6 kids living together now, so it made sense. The 13-year-old isn’t really a fan of her mom’s new husband though, although the mom doesn’t know that.

  6. Rachel says:

    Well – the nights apart do make it easier for him to have a side piece… which she obviously knows he’s into. Such a considerate woman. Hopefully I can evolve just that kind narcissistic a$$hat if I spend enough money!

  7. Darla says:

    A lot of people do this. Well, more than you might think. My grandmother was doing this in the 80’s, and all the granddaughters admire her greatly. Also, it must be 10 years ago now that the Times did a big story interviewing couples who were married but maintaining separate residences. I agree it’s not for everybody, but I have always wondered just how many would choose it if it were financially viable for them. I suspect a lot more than we might think, and I further suspect it would be a lot more WOMEN making this choice than we might think.

    • SNAP says:

      I agree, i’m one of those women who would sign up for it in a hearbeat.

    • FHMom says:

      I agree that a lot of wives would love this if it were financially possible. Men, OTOH, might not enjoy it as much.

    • Still_Sarah says:

      I met a man who works overseas while his wife lives in the US. It’s been going on for three years with infrequent visits home. It is my understanding they do not get along but I always thought she had the best life ever with kids and grandkids nearby but she doesn’t have to put up with his sh*t.

  8. Erinn says:

    I’m difficult in that I hate being alone, but also need space lol. My husband will sometimes stay up to watch a movie or play video games online with his friends and will fall asleep on the sectional. And those nights I sleep pretty much diagonally haha. I’d mostly rather have him there, but every once in a while having the bed to myself is a dream. Especially if it’s a bad pain day or a migraine day.

    I think this obviously makes sense for them. I think if I had their kind of money, and already had had kids I’d consider doing something similar if the other person was cool with that. But at the same time, I’d be equally happy to have a big bedroom with a huge bed, and a pull out couch just in case. There are some days where I just need the extra space and nobody touching me.

  9. tempest prognosticator says:

    Sounds like a marriage that would work for me. Separate bathrooms? Definitely. Separate houses? Even better. It sounds like he has his kids 3 days a week and that’s when he stays at his house.

  10. Alexandria says:

    Doesn’t make her less annoying but I think this is a good arrangement. You’ll kind of miss each other and still get the space. I’ll do it if I can afford it, partly cos I’m stuck with my mother in law. Then I’ll also buy my parents another house next to mine hahah.

  11. lassie says:

    To be fair, I think the insufferableness would require several days off…

  12. Becks1 says:

    Polarity and intimacy expert??? You do you Gwyneth lol.

    With the separate houses – it may be part of the custody arrangement (the ex may not want the kids staying with GP?) or it may just be what works for them. I don’t need a separate house from my husband but a separate bedroom would be nice lol.

    • Enn says:

      My husband and I have separate bedrooms. It’s fantastic.

      • Aang says:

        I have my own bedroom and bathroom and I love it. My husband also travels for work occasionally and spends the odd weekend at our cabin with his dad. Gives us a chance to miss one another.

    • Kk2 says:

      I bet it’s mostly about the kids. Probably not formal custody so much as teenagers are not likely to embrace combining households so much. Also not clear how far houses are from their schools… Easier to keep house same for the kids until they are college age. Or could be that he and his ex have that plan where kids stay in house and the parents rotate out. Either way sounds pretty nice.

  13. S says:

    I was/am a dedicated loner who used to joke that the only way I’d ever get married is if my husband lived down the street from me, or was in the Navy and spent 6 months of the year on a submarine, totally unreachable.

    It was when we were dating and I realized I missed my husband when he was out of town, more than I enjoyed my nights of “freedom” while he was away, that I knew he was the one. I was honestly shocked to find myself more comfortable in my skin WITH him, than without him. Twenty years of marriage later, he still travels for work, and I still handle it, but I never don’t miss him either…Which would be totally foreign concept to my younger self who was so certain she didn’t want to share her space with anyone. (Or, that the teen who was certain she didn’t want to have kids, is now happy to be a stay-at-home mom of three.)

    As for Brad and Gwyneth…They’re two insufferable rich people who both seem to think they’re above all “the little people and their little lives,” which is why they’re annoying; not because they don’t live together full time even while married. Plenty of relationships have long separations or even live in different cities by choice or circumstance. Doesn’t make those partnerships any less real.

  14. MariaS says:

    This is the only arrangement that would make me consider getting married again. I’ve been single for 7 years after a 10-year marriage and can’t imagine living with a man again. A few overnights a week? Yes.

    • elimaeby says:

      My boyfriend is starting on the “we should move in together” train. I love the relationship we have right now. He lives about an hour from me via public transit, so he comes to mine Friday night and hangs out until Sunday afternoon. Sometimes he’ll come for dinner on a weeknight if he gets off work early, but doesn’t sleep over. It’s perfect. I’m not ready to give up my own space yet, as much as I adore him. I like my clean bathroom and whole bed to myself.

      • MariaS says:

        Exactly! My mother did that for 25 years with her partner after she and my father divorced. Her partner eventually accepted it (he was not a fan) but it really worked for her. My Icelander friend also told me that this arrangement is catching on in Iceland with their divorce rate matching that of the US.

  15. Isa says:

    It makes more sense to me for normal people to do this, but I find it kinda weird for celebrities that have houses that are 5x the size of my one. Want your own space? Just go to the opposite wing or the guest house. But whatever makes people happy.

  16. sunnydaze says:

    Oddly enough, I know two different people with no connection who had parents that divorced, but ended up buying houses down the street from each other, never dated anyone else, go out all the time and still get it on. My one girlfriend explained it as they just could not be married, but instead are in a perpetual state of “going steady”, and it works for them. The other said his parents hated each other when they had to live together, and only after divorcing became best friends who also don’t really date anyone else. Maybe there is something to that, that doesn’t require a divorce. I used to think it was so abnormal that I had to sleep in a separate room from my husband when his snoring was so awful it kept me up every night, but now that I “moved back in” I really miss my old bedroom haha. So interesting how many people told me they would love to do that, but were afraid their partner’s would think it was a sign of something wrong. I typically can’t stand GP, but I actually think this is a pretty cool thing. I’m about a decade younger than GP, but I know how set in my ways I am, and I can’t imagine having to compromise with a new person.

    • Harryg says:

      I think a lot of divorces happen when people can’t afford enough space and are forced to face each other every freaking minute.

    • Yup, Me says:

      This sounds like Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito’s situation too. They aren’t “together” anymore but aren’t divorcing and still spend a lot of time together.

  17. Mego says:

    Bet they aren’t legally married.

    • Robinda says:

      That was my first thought. Some sort of commitment ceremony with no paperwork like the Aniston marriage.

  18. Lucy2 says:

    WTH is an intimacy expert, and why does she need one?
    Friends of mine do this, because of their jobs. It’s probably helped them stay together so long!
    I’m guessing these two are doing it because of shared custody with their exes and the kids, so the kids don’t all have to live together. Does anyone ever ask her about how the relationship started? They seem to have gotten a pass for that.

  19. Jumpingthesnark says:

    I can’t imAgine being Goop’s step kid…… that would be, ALOT, on top of your parents divorce and whatever teenaged things they have going on.

  20. JoJo says:

    This is off topic but I find it so odd to be engaged/married to two guys with the same name(Brad) I know it was 20 plus years ago but I still find it IDK weird for me.I have never dated two guys who have the same name,maybe I’m weird ☺.

    • Swack says:

      My one brother married two Debbie’s. Another one married two nurses that both became lawyers. So doesn’t seem as strange to me.

    • CherHorowitz says:

      My first three boyfriends were all called Sam. It became a bit of joke in my family!

    • Summer says:

      My husband has five siblings and 4/6 of them have married someone with the same name as one of their siblings. (AND my husband has the same name as my dad.) Somehow this never seemed weird to me — they’re all very common names — until my SIL got divorced and remarried a guy with the same name as her ex (which is is the same name as her brother). So now we have new Matt and old Matt and Uncle Matt. It’s a little much.

  21. JanetFerber says:

    She is forever weird. I wonder how many other “coaches” she has in her life– fingernail coach? vulnerability coach? head-up-your-ass coach? The possibilities are endless.

    • Harla says:

      definitely first world problems.

    • Lila says:

      And they’re all in a competition with each other to invent the next catchy “conscious uncoupling.” Polarity just doesn’t have as memorable of a ring.

  22. Digital Unicorn says:

    I can imagine Goop being the stepmother from hell, considering how controlling she is reputed to be. Also is his kids are old enough to understand what really went on then am not sure I would be quite welcoming of the new relationship/marriage.

    Goop is all about Goop.

    • Josie says:

      This detail let’s slip the reality of conscious uncoupling: kids are not going to react the same way as adults.

      If Brad and Gwenyth aren’t living together when he has custody of his kids, they’re basically not blending their families. And they’re not required to do that, but it’s not the “happy happy joy joy” scenario they keep trying to sell us, either.

      • ASDA says:

        Fair enough tbh. Blended families are hard work. I actually think it’s a good idea for people in their situation.
        I can’t imagine Brads kid being too fond of the step mom responsible for breaking up their parents marriage.

  23. marmalazed says:

    My favorite part of this is that they refer to her as the “Sliding Doors actress.”

  24. Aubrey says:

    Eh, on the shirt.

  25. Giddy says:

    We do the separate bedroom and bathroom thing and I love it. This, however, sounds like future planning to me. How much easier could a divorce possibly be than if they each still has their own home? They are just somewhere on the “spectrum” of being married, somewhere between freedom and commitment.

    • Yup, Me says:

      This may or may not be true for them but as someone who has had a similar arrangement for over a decade, there have been a lot of people (often women) who poopoo’d our situation and their relationships have come and gone while we remain happily doing what works for us.

  26. Lindy says:

    Honestly, this sounds so nice. If I could afford two houses on the same block I’d love it. I adore my husband but he works from home and we have two kids so I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been by myself in our house in the last year. For an intense introvert like me (who also has a people-intensive job) it’s often just exhausting.

    If we lived close by and the kids could just run over anytime, and we could have overnights when we wanted… I mean. I love my husband and love being with him but that sounds kinda awesome!

    That said, I imagine for two adults with houses and lives and slightly older kids, why uproot everything and move in together in their circumstances? They’re rich enough to buy a nice second home that can be theirs together if they want.

    And as screwy as “intimacy coach” sounds, there’s a reason we have the expression “familiarity breeds contempt.” Sometimes it really can be hard to maintain a spark when you’re handling day to day life with kids.

  27. Ali says:

    Not making the kids move since they don’t financially have to was probably the basis for the arrangement.

  28. chlo says:

    My poor husband has had a sciatica flareup the past 6 weeks and is only comfortable on the couch in the basement. While I hope he feels better soon, OMG I LOVE HAVING THE BEDROOM TO MYSELF.

  29. Bunchita says:

    After a pretty shitty first marriage, I said never again. I spent 5 years enjoying my alone time, the tidy bathroom, etc.

    Then I met husband #2 and everything fell in place. We worked in the same team, then started dating. Then we moved in together and we were driving to work together, working together, having lunch together and going home together. After a couple of years of that, I got an amazing work opportunity, which involves a lot of travel (anything between 50% and 75% of my time). And we miss each other loads! Most people say it must be a good thing, having this extra “me” space, but we both truly enjoy spending time together. Now if you had asked me in the past, I would have never thought I could ever be happy to share my life this way with a man. I guess it helps that he’s not messy in the bathroom!

    So never say never. I have learnt that things are simply easier when you’re with the right person.

    • Lindy says:

      That really is true, isn’t it? My first marriage was a disaster but despite spending a ton of time together with my second husband, we truly do love being together.

  30. Chrissyms says:

    This seems strange to me but I am not rich. Us middle class people can only afford to live together 7 days a week!

  31. ariel says:

    Proof of the well established theory that we believe things that reinforce the beliefs we already had.
    I already thought she was a pretentious, slimy conman.
    And when I read this I thought- she’s not *really* married. She just wanted to present to the public as married. As in: her life is perfect, the relationship is flawless. Her world is locked down.

    And in reality, his kids probably hate her guts for homewrecking their parents’ marriage, and they are not actually living as married people.

  32. Texas says:

    This would so work. My husband leaves every other weekend to take care of our land and I love the peace. For two years, we lived apart for work and saw each other twice a month. Our romance level was off the charts! But after two years, I really wanted us back in the same space.

  33. SM says:

    “She’s a wildly successful Hollywood actress and entrepreneur who is famous for her creative, and sometimes quirky, lifestyle choices. ” – the name Gwyneth Paltrow does not come to my mind after reading this. More like a self absorbed narcissist who thinks she is so extra she needs to charge peasants for breathing her air.

  34. Jessica says:

    I was just looking back at previous stories about these two. At least in Celebitchy stories, the only thing ever said about his kids is “Brody and Isabella, who he shares with his ex-wife” There was a story last fall about their blended lifestyle, and how they were all living in Gwyneth’s house and were going to take vacations together, etc. And now this story which explains, no all these people are not living together as one unit under one roof. Someone needed that clarified to the press, right? Blended my ass.

  35. Nev says:

    she looks amazing here. that’s all I got.

  36. Algernon says:

    TBH this arrangement sounds ideal if you can afford two homes. I would love it if we could get neighboring houses, his and hers like HBC and Tim Burton, and then combine back yards. For now, I’ll settle for my own bathroom and regularly scheduled work separations. For Goop, though, I wonder if this was about a transitional period before blending families, especially because BF’s kids are older and might take longer to warm up to step mommy if they’re aware of the affair. Brad Falchuk just listed his house for sale, so I wonder if they’re about to start cohabiting full time.

    • Erinn says:

      WOWWW I like his place. I’d change some of the interior, but what a gorgeous property.

  37. Harla says:

    My husband works far away from home so he’s gone for a week or two and then back home for a week or so and I love it. Many of my friends, especially those who’ve been married for a long time, are very jealous 🙂 as most of them can’t get their husbands out of their recliners. lol!

  38. RoyalBlue says:

    Oh yes. My husband was away for the past few day and it was glorious. We are always happy to see each other again but enjoy breaks when we have to travel for work.

  39. Jb says:

    I sleep better with my husband next to me mainly because I feel safer than alone in my house. However I’m totally down for me/alone time and enjoy when he’s off doing his thing and me doing mine. Really trying to maintain my own “life” while making sure to balance “our life” it’s tough but I rather have him in my world than without, no question.

  40. HeyThere! says:

    I always joke with my husband that we need homes next door to each other. Our style is different. I’m hyper organized and like a clean, minimal look. He’s a clutter bug who loves trinkets. Deep down I know this wouldn’t work because I’d be sneaking over there to clean because I’d know how awful it was and then I’d be cleaning two houses! Ahh!

    It’s my problem, not my husbands. I’m the one who can’t sleep or can’t relax if I know the door that is closed….whatever is in there needs organized. I envy how relaxed my husband can be in a room with dust and a sink full of dishes. The only positive thing about it is that never once in our decade of being together has he been upset or questioned why something wasn’t clean. LOL I dated a guy once who didn’t want to clean yet would bitch when it wasn’t done. BYE!

  41. JennyJenny says:

    Why did they even bother to get married then?

    They could have had this great relationship living separately and getting together whenever it worked out.
    After all, it’s not like she was going to have children with him.

    • Matilda says:

      +1 – Other than to have a giant party to further image, why on earth did she get married? You’re not having kids. Either you, your kids, or your former spouse don’t want your kids “blended” into a new family. And when you’re dealing with that kind of wealth, marriage necessitates lawyers both before it begins and after it fails.

      Honestly, if you can’t handle living with someone from the get go of marriage, there’s no reason to get married.

      • Lex says:

        I’m a bit surprised people on this site still have such old fashioned views….

        Marriage is for kids? Lol really?

  42. jen says:

    ‘Oh, all my married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing’: she can’t help but to be pretentious

  43. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I’m single and one of the things that scares me about getting married is having someone in my space ALL THE DAMN TIME. The thought of sharing my bed every night? AND the bathroom? Ugh.

    So yeah…this sounds AMAZING and I give them props for doing what works for them and not what people’s expectations of what married life should be.

  44. perplexed says:

    What does an intimacy coach do besides tell you to live apart? I want to know what’s involved in the job description. For some reason I pictured the role that Helen Hunt played in a movie for which she got an Oscar nomination.

  45. Marina says:

    Does anyone else think she is THE “Becky with the good hair”? She sure did spend a lot of time around the Carters at one point……

    • Usedtobe says:

      As like a jab because she has horrific hair?
      I could see it but I also thing Bey could have come up with something so much better to diss her with.

  46. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    My life coach and intimacy teacher had a huge fight over conflicting polarity perspectives so I discussed with my therapist who suggested I visit my doctor for a physical and he recommended I see a neurologist for specific brain scans that ultimately indicated I might benefit from a psychiatrist who immediately had me committed indefinitely. Goop should just hasten the chase lol.

  47. lowercaselila says:

    I notice in this thread we talk about the pros and cons of having separate residences for a married couple. But there is no discussion that in many parts of the country that would be a very big expense and you got to have the income to support two residences. Making this type of living situation impossible ,even if you both desire it.

  48. paddingtonjr says:

    With her, it is definitely the messenger not the message. A lot of people agree with the concept of separate bedrooms/bathrooms/houses, but she has to throw in “intimacy coach” and “our friends think we’re trail-blazers and have come up with the best idea ever!” Goopy just can’t help herself!

  49. Candikat says:

    So, “intimacy teacher” = overpriced “therapist” with no qualifications, right?

  50. bluesparkcafe says:

    The affordable way to do it, though two adjacent homes would be the bomb, is to have separate bedrooms and bathrooms. (I would prefer to have separate kitchens as well, but…)

    • yellow says:

      Ahh…I’m so with you on the separate kitchens thing! We have our own bedrooms but share a tiny bathroom, so no one can mess up anything (I have a vanity in my room so get all the important stuff done there).

      Hmm…affordable… Duplex? Triplex? Make a little extra $ with a rental?

      A friend of mine who’s (former) boyfriend was reluctant to move in together; he ended up getting an apartment in her small building on a different floor.

  51. Mash says:

    me and the impending Mr. have separate bank accounts, friends, bathrooms and activities

    he’s my bestfriend and we love each other for the individuality…when we got engaged everyone was like WAYMENT he doesnt live with you, that’s not a good sign…etc etc…we just chugged along on own and when we finally moved in we set the wedding date 6month later….yal just gotta do what works for yal

    what i find disingenuous about Gwyn is how she sells it not just “hey this is how my jam is” but like “omg everyone should do it since we’re doing it so well” knowing good and damn well …youre lying and not everyone envies you girl….lol

  52. The Recluse says:

    I don’t think I could sleep in the same room with a boyfriend/husband because I have sleep issues and he would get tired of me waking him up more than once a night. Separate bedrooms at the least, I guess.

  53. GogoRoboto says:

    My parents have been married for 37 years but haven’t lived together in the same house since the late 90s. At first it was because of jobs that took them to different cities but then they had just gotten used to it. They try to see each other every other weekend and make it a point to spend holidays and birthdays together and speak to each other on the phone everyday. It used to bother me that my parents were apart more than they were together but I now understand that maybe their arrangement just works for both of them and that their marriage is actually stronger because of it.

  54. Vanessa says:

    Yes, yes, we all know many notable wealthy couples have done this. She’s not claiming to invent it but she’s happily owning it. Whatever, I think it sounds ideal. After surviving my abusive marriage and now being able to actually run the house myself, I’m happy never to live with a partner again.

  55. Lory says:

    Tilda Swinton lives with her children, the father of her children and her lover. And she doesn’t have an intimacy teacher.

  56. Brazilian says:

    Honestly, I never thought I would say anything similar to this about something coming from G.Paltrow, but…. I think this is a perfect arrangement to some couples. I, for instance, (sorry, english ain’t my first language), can’t be with someone, whomever it is, as much as I love, 24/7 in the same place. I love my man, really, we can go hours talking and laughing and cuddling and.. just loving, but those 3, 4, some times, 24 hours away are quite a necessity for the two of us. We’re academics, he’s a Historian, I’m Politicl Scientist, we can go to a delightful war of words every single second, but I know he does need his time alone some times, and, you know what? So do I. Love you, babes!

  57. Granger says:

    I would love to live apart from my husband. During the first four years of our relationship he worked out of town four to five days a week, and it made our time together so amazing and precious. Sixteen years later — he’s an awesome guy and I love him but I’m really tired of not having my own space. My husband is less social than I am too, so he doesn’t go out with friends a lot, meaning I rarely get the house to myself. He would never go for an arrangement like this, though. He’s not an overly jealous person, but he carries some baggage from his parents’ divorce (his mom cheated), and it would freak him out way too much if I told him I wanted to live apart. Not that I could anyway — we wouldn’t be able to afford to maintain two households, at least not while our teenagers are still around!

  58. Abby says:

    I think the comments on this thread are so interesting, vs the comments on the post talking about the Queen and Prince Phillip having separate residences. So positive on this one, so not on the other!

    It does sound like difficulty blending families is the reason. I guess if this is the arrangement that works, it’s a good thing. It seems like a solution for the very rich.

  59. Godwina says:

    Sure, Jan. Just keep contributing to the growing housing crisis in every major (and many less major) cities around the world. F@ck you very much.