Melissa McCarthy was on Jimmy Kimmel this week and she was just delightful. We all love Melissa, particularly Quimby and Hecate, but I’m grabbing this story because I’m the boss I watched the interview and wanted to talk about it. She told a story about her worst date and I could so relate.
On the worst date she ever went on
I went on a date with someone. We met at a wrap party the night before and maybe had several drinks. I thought he was wonderful. We get [to the restaurant] and he’s like ‘Oh boy, 6 dollahs for a chicken sandwich. I can make a chicken sandwich for $1.75.’ At the time I was working three jobs. This is still the highpoint of the date. So far I’m like ‘maybe.’ It was slim pickings for a while.We get [outside] my apartment. It’s not going well. It’s just constant talk of money even though I’m paying. He’s got a backpack. He’s like ‘I got this thing in my bag. I got it from this guy at work. Well it’s a ring.’ I’ll just say it’s not a ring for your finger or your toes. He got it from his friend at work it’s not even new!
[After that] I met [my husband] Ben. That was my last date then I met sweet Ben. I was like ‘I don’t care if you hate me, you’re not going anywhere.’
[From Jimmy Kimmel Live via YouTube]
I went on a date like this right before I met my (now ex) husband! The douchebag actually talked about the price of a chicken sandwich just like this, I remember it so well because it was ridiculous, but we were only looking at the menu outside the restaurant, we weren’t even in the place. It was in chi chi Greenwich, Connecticut too. I’m pretty sure it was about $6.95. He made me pay for my coffee at Starbucks after that and I was really glad to do that and get the hell out of there. That story Melissa told about the used “ring” her date had in his bag is just so gross. I can’t even imagine. Melissa has been married since 2005 to Ben Falcone after meeting him at improv. They have two daughters, Vivian, 12 and Georgette, 9. Maybe they wouldn’t be together if she didn’t have this terrible date first so it all worked out for the best.
Oh and at the end of the interview Melissa played coy about whether she’s going to be Ursula in The Little Mermaid live action remake. It involved a lot of winking. She’s totally doing it.
Melissa’s drama The Kitchen, with Tiffany Haddish and Elisabeth Moss, opens August 9th. If it gets over an 80% on Rotten Tomatoes I’m there.
Here’s Melissa’s interview. It’s worth watching for how awesome she is and the story she tells at the beginning about her dad trapping squirrels.
Photos credit: Avalon.red and WENN
She can sure tell a good story. I love her street style picture.
I’d like to have a meal with her, she seems like a lot of fun.
Me too. She is so cute, funny and positive. Love her.
Even if it is under 80% I am there because I just love her… I think sometimes she picks bad things or the directing isn’t great but somehow I still always enjoy her.
Same here, I even enjoyed that one about her going back to college. It wasn’t a terribly good movie, but it was light and fun, and she’s just wonderful.
I have watched that movie twice already! I love, love, love HER! I also have Spy on my TiVo and I rewatch it quite a bit because she is so funny in that movie, and a great supporting cast. There will be a Spy II but I don’t know when.
Reminds me of my cousin, a nurse, and her date with a doctor, who actually brought hard-boiled eggs from home to feed them both.
Isn’t it better someone show their true colors from the beginning though? That way you know what you’re in for and if you want to stick around. Some people stay fake all the way up until the day after the wedding lol. My sister married a fake ass motherf*cker who did a 360 as soon as they got married. It happens.
Janet, that would be great if they’re buddies first and are comfortable with each other. But getting to know stage? Ick!
I had a date once with my dentist at the time. He was actually written up in Cosmo or one of the magazines of the time as one of the most eligible bachelors in the US (the late 70’s or 80’s because he was the dentist to Baby Doc of Haiti). We went to the movies and then to his home. He then told me he was into golden showers. I got out of there quickly and changed dentists.
Brave girl to go out with anyone associated with the Duvalier‘s
You’re absolutely right but it was before the Duvaliers were exiled and the dentist was in Miami. The dentist was definitely creepy
😱! I went out with a guy that did that to me once… but it was over COFFEE at a Starbucks! After a half hr. of very nice chat, I’m thinking, “Maybe…?” Then made the statement, then leaned in, and said, “So, Beautiful…how ’bout it?” The look on my face must’ve been sufficient because he leaned back quickly, and I took that as my break to stand up, and make my (quick!) exit lol
Why don’t these perverted men just go hire a damn hooker. Losers.
Had a guy within 30 min of the date beginning offer to eat me if i tossed his salad
I met a man (I was about 45), who on the third date showed up at my door with takeout (he’d asked me out to dinner). When I opened the door, he held up the bag, walked in saying, “I thought we’d have dinner here, and then you can have me for dessert.” Talk about stunned! lol. Then he had the effrontery to ask: “Or do you wanna s*ck my d*ck first?
This was an educated, professional man, in his late 40s! He had impeccable manners up till this SMDH.
That actually frightens me.
Trust me, I told him to get out VERY quickly. I picked up my cell phone as a warning. I was more than ready to call 911 if he didn’t.
I was 16 and he was 22
I went on a date where we met at the restaurant and while we were leaving, he loudly complained about the expense, even though I paid for myself and left the entire tip, as he informed me that he “didn’t; believe in tipping”. He’d parked in a clearly marked loading zone and had been towed. I drove him to the impound lot to be nice and he said that it was only fair that I pay for half of the impound fee. I laughed in his face and left.
Oh my God are you serious? He’s the f*cking idiot that parked in the wrong spot and got towed ! Why the hell would you have to pay for half of the towing bill?
Probably because in his mind that if he hadnt gone out on the date he wouldnt have got his car towed..
OMG! He’s lucky you didn’t ghost him outside the restaurant and make him take a cab to the impound.
HAHAHAHAHA what a dick!
He said it was my fault for suggesting the restaurant in an area where there was so little free parking and that he wasn’t about to walk a mile to park for free. He didn’t offer to walk me to my car either. He came running after me when he saw his car had been towed, Reading the comments above, with all of the the gross sex requests, I guess it could have been worse.
I had a professor who was white and his sons were Black. My date brought the professor up, apropos to nothing, just to note the professor “must have adopted” because he “doesn’t seem like the jungle fever type.”
For context, it was 2010. I’m Brown and my date was very white. He transferred to Harvard shortly afterwards.
I don’t remember dating Melissa Mccarthy. That’s totally me. I’m the type who will present a Groupon voucher on a date.
Being frugal isnt a problem….its the complaining that someone does about every little price.
For me a coupon on a date is a red flag to get outta there. If a date is that cheap what will it be like to be married?
Another red flag is never spending more money on dinner than a Subway sandwich. I had a date who never wanted to go anywhere that cost more than a $5 foot long combo. It reminded me of my Dad’s frugal friend who took his wife to Subway for their 40th wedding anniversary. I didn’t want his wife to be me one day.
I have SO MANY blind date horror stories from my days as a never married singleton in NYC.
My worst was a guy who spent most of the time telling me how awful his ex was and saying he’d use the c-word if he hadn’t just met me. Not the worst in the world, but it was so uncomfortable. I kept trying to wrap it up and go, and then he was stunned I didn’t want to see him again.
Ha! I spent a first date with the guy telling me how great his ex was, which was also not the best scenario. A mutual friend happened upon us and joined us in our booth, not realizing it was a date, and I’ve never been more relieved!
I had a cheap date like this, too. Took me to a seafood shack-type restaurant (it was a good place, just casual, and I had no issue with the restaurant) and complained about the prices (I think the most expensive entree was less than $15), made a comment when I ordered a second drink ($3 bottle beers, not like $15 martinis!) and then tried to grope me a little bit later. There was no second date. 😉
I’ve told my husband on numerous occasions that if anything ever happens to him, I’ll just be by myself forever. I got super lucky when I met him and the horror stories about what was/is out there are just…no. I can’t imagine trying to get back out into the f*ckwittage of the present-day dating scene.
Reminds me of a blind date I went on where the guy kept talking about how he had a ring (for a finger… don’t worry) and he was just waiting for the right lady to give it to. Not an awful sentiment, but a little intense for a first date. He also told me I looked a lot like his aunt, and remarked about how people are attracted to people who look like their family. He seemed nice enough, but it was all really weird. No second date for us.
I had one like that! First date and the guy told me how he had already planned how he was going to propose to me (we had met at a party a few days before). It was because of him that I made a rule that I wouldn’t let a guy pick me up until at least the third date because it was a very awkward ride home.
Dude, I’m so glad I didn’t drive! He walked me to my car and I did kiss him goodbye (because I felt like I should I guess??) with absolutely zero chemistry. I still feel weird about it a decade later.
Derp, I mean I’m glad I *did* drive!
So, this is interesting – I never ever had a guy asking me to pay or even split a check. I don’t think it is due to my amazing beauty. There must have been many reason as to why (actually, one time I said I’ll pay and the guy got really upset because it was obvious I was making a point that I didn’t want to see him again). I’m wondering now if the main reason was because I was super selective and acted (without realizing it) the way they recommend in that book “Why Men Love Bitches”.
It seems to me Melissa is a genuinely good person, one of those decent people who will put up with a lot of things. She was still considering after the guy was seriously complaining?
I think a little bitchiness doesn’t hurt when it comes to dating.
So true @Rhys. I’ve been teaching my nieces this, don’t fall for the “why can’t you be nice,” or “that’s not polite” bs. It’s fine to be bitchy, straightforward and get the hell out, you don’t have to be “nice” in a bad situation. Get out and move on.
My worst date was this guy I really liked -he was cute and nice,but I suppose ((19 years later-I still ponder this)that he wanted to have a relationship/friendship. But we started fooling around and I had a tampon in(obvious reasons)It went on a few minutes on my apartment floor hot,heavy,I was and still am confused I don’t know if we f*cked or if it was his FINGER he was so small endowed????😢Am I allowed to post this?And I’m sorry…so sorry…and he was just such a nice guy but I don’t know what happened-honestly to this day I really don’t know?.
LMAO. I don’t know the rules on allow-ability, but I thank you for sharing such a relatable situation.
I once went out with someone who invited me to dinner and a classical music concert. Sounds great, doesn’t it? The dinner was at a cafeteria; we then went to a concert hall where he headed to the ticket office and explained that tickets which hadn’t been sold ten minutes before the concert started were heavily discounted (we sat in the nosebleed section, in seats which cost maybe $10). He was a well-paid professional so he wasn’t poor, just cheap.
Another guy invited me to dinner at his place. When I asked what he was cooking, he pointed to the kitchen and said “I thought that you would do the cooking, since you’re a woman”.
Oof. I’m assuming you didn’t go!
These stories are all either creepy or hilarious. I love how you all have dealt with the creeps/weirdos/pennypinchingfreaks. Do you all find it as disturbing as I do —how many creepy ass guys are out there? Good grief. If something would happen to my husband, I would be done. Even guys that you think are ok, turn into super creep at first opportunity it seems like.
Lol, all these bad date tales remind me of one of my own. I had gone through a heartbreaking split with my ex fiancee a couple months prior and finally agreed to a date with a fellow who seemed very smitten with me. He kept pressuring me and finally I said uh, okay. We went to a nice restaurant, ordered drinks and food, then a short while later announced he didn’t feel well and would have to leave. I asked what was wrong and he told me he had eaten a bunch of magic mushrooms right before our date. WTH?? As soon as food arrived he asked to have his to go and immediately split, leaving me there to pick up the cheque and find my own way home. Next time he asked me out I was very unavailable. Loser!
After my divorce I really didn’t feel up to dating for several years (young kid and working on rebuilding my career). When I finally decided to give it a try, it was so, so bad.
One nice enough guy invited me for dinner and drinks. So I dressed in a somewhat casual but still nice way–skirt and strappy sandals (summer in Texas).
He shows up at my door in fishing shorts and hiking boots. And his two giant Newfie dogs. And informs me that he decided we should go hiking instead. I quickly grab some Birkenstocks and jump in the car. (I should’ve said no!). His dogs are climbing all over me and smell terrible–apparently he lets them swim in creeks and doesn’t bathe them.
I ended up with muddy dog prints all over my clothes. We finally get to a trail head, spend about two hours hiking. On the way back, he stops to fill up the car and one of the dogs gets out and runs off. He goes chasing after it, and I called an Uber.
Just no way.