Amy Schumer gave birth to her first child, a son named Gene, three months ago. Amy was very sick during her pregnancy and frequently documented it to social media. I know some people found it to be usual Amy TMI, but I’m happy she spoke out on her hyperemesis gravidarum. It’s not that uncommon and I don’t think those who suffer from it should be shut in their rooms so no one else has to hear about it. Since giving birth, Amy has been quieter, but not quiet. And again, she’s addressing the less than glamorous side of post-partum: what happens to a woman’s body after she delivers. Amy’s doing more than just talking about it, she’s partnered with Frida to create a line of products like ice maxi pads and mesh underwear for both vaginal and c-section deliveries to help mothers recover with some degree of comfort. However, Amy said all the ugly aspects of gestating and delivering her baby were worth it the first time she held her son.
“My pregnancy was so bad that my c-section almost felt like a breeze and I felt fine after,” Schumer, who struggled with hyperemesis gravidarum during her entire gestation period, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Now I feel like I can do anything. I was gutted, literally.”
“Nothing can prepare you for childbirth and what comes after,” she continues. “I’m grateful for women like Chelsea Hirschhorn, the Founder and CEO of Fridababy and Frida Mom, who is creating affordable tools to help postpartum women feel like humans while trying to raise humans.”
The new mom says that the moment she laid eyes on Gene for the first time was “insane” and “the best moment of my life,” going on to recall, “Everyone’s in your face like ‘Oh my God, you’re having a baby,’ and you’re like, ‘Relax, a lot of people have babies.’ “
“But then you have your own and hold them and realize that it’s actually the most incredible thing in the world,” Schumer admits to PEOPLE.
I’m really happy for Amy. It sounds like giving birth to Gene is everything she dreamed it would be. I imagine that a few of those darker days of pregnancy cast some doubt on that so it’s wonderful that she’s euphoric*.
The Frida line Amy collaborated sounds great. They also offer witch hazel cooling pad liners and a healing foam for the perineal area. I would’ve loved something to help when my C-section scar was healing, specifically for the itching. Did anyone feel the interior itch as the uterus incision was healing? That drove me absolutely bonkers! I had to visualize scratching it to get some relief. I’m impressed with how Amy has turned her experiences into such productive ways to help pregnant women and new moms. It’s not sexy to talk about the physical brutality of pregnancy but it should be discussed out in the open, so women don’t have to suffer in silence.
*I want to make a small side note for any brand-new moms or soon to be moms: this feeling of euphoria doesn’t happen instantaneously for all women. If it does – that’s fantastic. But if it doesn’t, please don’t feel like there is something wrong with you. Birth is a confusing time, accept your emotions, whatever they are. The “Oh my God” feeling comes at different times for all of us. You are not a monster and you do love your baby just as much as other moms. Someone said this to me right before I had my first baby and it helped me. Not completely, but a lot.
Photo credit: Getty Images and WENN Photos
Hecate thank you SO MUCH for the last paragraph. I tell all expectant mothers that – “its okay not to fall in love immediately.” I loved both my boys from the beginning, but I didn’t have that “omg” moment until about 3 months in with my first one (I realize now I had pretty bad PPD and wish I had gotten help) and at about a month with my second. I sometimes feel like there is such a buildup to that “first moment” that its easy to feel like something is wrong with you bc you don’t experience that “omg” feeling Amy is talking about.
If people feel that way immediately – that’s fantastic. but if takes a while, that’s okay too, and totally normal.
Absolutely. I definitely had a really emotional moment of wonder and awe and love with my first when they laid her on my belly, but when my second was born, I remember looking at him and thinking “I am so glad you are here, I love you, but I don’t know you”. It was weird to have this relationship with my first for 2 full years where I knew her personality and had been there for every moment and then have this new babe where I felt like we had no history or connection yet. I definitely felt awful about it, since there was already this fear with having a second about “how can I have enough time and love for another one”. He’s almost 2 now though and I know and love him so fully and he is actually very much the same as he was even in my belly. So in retrospect, I knew him so well from the first moment too. But it takes time to build that confidence sometimes.
I came here to say the same thing. I just found out I’m pregnant, totally unexpectedly. I’ve been pregnant before and was delighted each time (sadly they were all miscarriages).
This time around, I was in a weird place with myself and with my relationship to the father when I found out. When the doctor confirmed that my at-home test was correct, and I am pregnant, I literally just said, “Huh.” She seemed a little confused by my reaction. Now, I’m in the second trimester and past the point where I miscarried before, and I’m so happy. There was a week or so, though, that I worried I was a sociopath because I just could not get excited for this baby. I assume a lot of moms feel the same when they hold their baby the first time if the initial reaction isn’t “OMG, I’m over the moon in love right now.”
I appreciate hearing this advice now. I’ll keep it in my back pocket for when little baby Maeby shows up.
elimaeby – congratulations! I am glad to hear you are past the point of your previous miscarriage(s). That has to be a very conflicting and scary journey.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending you one million hugs!! I hope everything goes smoothly for you and baby Maeby from here on out.
I also had a ‘huh’ moment when I found out I was pregnant with my now 2-year old daughter. I had just had a miscarriage about six weeks previously, and that pregnancy happened after almost two years of trying without success (we were literally at the fertility specialist the day before I found out about the second pregnancy). And all of THAT came after thinking I couldn’t (or shouldn’t) get pregnant due to a medical condition, then getting treatment for the condition, then finding out that pregnancy was possible post-treatment.
All of that to say – I had been through a LOT of emotional sh!t prior to that moment. In retrospect, of course I didn’t really know how to feel – I had basically run out of feelings – but at the time I do remember wondering if there was something wrong with me for not being over the moon.
On the post-birth side, I suffered some fairly serious traumatic birth stuff followed by about 3 months of intense post-partum anxiety. But even after that, and even though many of my instincts seemed to kick in right away, I didn’t have that overwhelming feeling of love until about 4-5 months after birth, when I came off my anxiety meds which had been effectively repressing all of my emotions. I definitely felt a bit bitter (and like a bad mom, or at least a disinterested one) for not having that feeling earlier. But the meds were absolutely essential for me during that time, which means they were absolutely essential to me caring for her.
I find there is so much focus on pushing the “right” message in books and classes to moms (‘breast is best!’, ‘you must bond!’, ‘your body is designed to give birth!’) that there is little to no real talk about these things, and that just leaves you feeling even sh!ttier about yourself when they happen to you.
I had that moment of amazement and relief when I had my children, but I didn’t have that “rush of overwhelming love” until my girls were around 2-3 months. I had post-partum anxiety, and I think my anxiety got in the way of those emotions. Oh, and I was exhausted. …
Bless you and keep you for that last paragraph. No one told me that. No one told me how a really unpleasant birth, a sick baby (not even horribly unwell, just not a well baby), and poor post partum recovery would mean I didn’t…. it was so rough and I didn’t have anyone who could help with the meat of that.
Also that dumb questionnaire they give to screen for post partum depression is stupid and doesn’t get to the heart of it for post partum anxiety. I didn’t want to hurt my baby, I was just so anxious about everything, everything was tender and hurt (that’s not typical, expectant mothers! I’m kind of a hyper sensitive body and never imagined that would extend to pregnancy and birth for some reason)… I wish I could do it over again with what I know now. It is so so magical and such a gift – but that gift isn’t standard.
Betsy, I totally agree about the questionnaire for PPD and also the way PPD gets covered in the media.
I never had it with my first and when my second was born, I never had feelings of wanting to hurt myself or my baby so I didn’t think that what I was feeling was really PPD. I just thought I was failing at breastfeeding (after easily nursing my first for 14 months), failing at being a good mom, overwhelmed and tired, and maybe hormonal.
I didn’t get a PPD diagnosis until the baby was 5 months old and it was a nurse in my obgyn’s practice who helped. She asked me a question about breastfeeding, and I immediately started sobbing hysterically and couldn’t stop. She was the one who flagged it for my obgyn.
I had answered that questionnaire 4 or 5 times at that point.
It sounds more like they’re screening for post-partum psychosis, not PPD!
I saw the products in target the other day! Wish they came out just a little bit sooner because they look really nice. I’m s fan of the Frida brand already too.
Seeing my babies for the first time took my breathe away, which I wasn’t expecting tbh. I was so worried I wouldn’t feel that bond with my second, I felt disconnected in a way during the last half of the pregnancy. The expectation that a woman instantly feels this huge spark after growing a human for 9 months, laboring for god knows how long and then delivering is insane to me. I barely knew my own name after my emergency c section lol
Thank you SO MUCH for that last paragraph. Women need to know this.
I felt very guilty for a long time over not having that ‘omg’ moment when my son was born. I was surrounded by a loving partner & a wonderful family, so they noticed pretty quickly that something was wrong and I needed help. It turned out I had pretty bad PPD. I got help & meds, and got better. My parents moved in with us for 3 months to help. Without them, I don’t know where I’d be. When my son was around 3-4 months, he smiled at me for the first time and I remember crying my eyes out. That’s when I had my ‘omg’ moment.
I have no shame now and I share my story when it’s appropriate, because women absolutely need to know that things like this can happen. So, again, thank you.
Good ending note! So important!
I’ve had both experiences. My first child, the moment I held him was like every mama fantasy come true times ten. It was like being transported to heaven with this tiny being, I’ll never never forget it. His eyes, his face, it was just the two of us in the whole world.
With my second, I had labored for days (first was a C-section). When I saw her I thought “little stranger, who are you?!” I was fascinated by her, almost afraid to touch her. Totally different feeling. The heavenly connection took hours to begin and months to really form.
I love both my children so so much. And the slow bond with my daughter (who is now 2) ended up being just as beautiful as the insta-bond with my son. It’s a different thing. It’s beautiful, too! It’s rewarding and spiritual in its own way.
So yeah, very important to acknowledge that there are 100000 ways for it to go. All of them organic, loving, honest, and correct for that particular mom and baby duo.
The addition of that note! It took me a LONG time to come to that euphoric moment – so long I thought I made a huge mistake thinking I could be a mom. It was a year later when I saw a pregnant woman in my office and blissfully told her, “it’s going to be great!” Horror settled on me like 10 minutes later that I represented the experience to her that way and I had to go back and correct myself – saying almost exactly what you said. It was the expectation that I SHOULD have felt a certain way that weighed on me the most during those early months.
That last paragraph… thank you for including that.
I’ve had euphoric moments with my kids-but none of them were there right after I gave birth. Honestly, I felt a little “shell shocked” each time I went through labor-and while I was happy and excited once I got to hold them-I never cried with joy (and I’m a crier.) I’ve had other times that stand out where I was overwhelmed with how much I love them and how fortunate I am-but it wasn’t right after giving birth.
Kid #1: OMG, of course it is you, I’ve known you and loved you forever!
Kid#2: You seem like a very lovely baby, but who are you? Where did you come from? From me? Really?
(I’m now wildly in love with Kid#2. It just took a few months.) Please don’t freak out if 1) you don’t instantly euphorically bond with your baby and 2) you don’t have the same instant reaction to each kid.
Oh man, that ITCH. My kids are 15 and 18 and it still bugs me occasionally.
I felt like a total failure with c-section #1; baby was born blue, had a seizure, stayed in NICU and we almost lost her. I didn’t feel like I could bond with her with all the tubes and wires and machines. I have eternal love and respect for the nurses who saved both of our lives. They encouraged me and promised me the bond would come, and they were totally right.
Thanks for saying that, Hecate. Us parents are stronger together and our different experiences are as important as our shared ones.
Great note at the end, Hecate, thank you!