Whitney Port is one of the returning cast members on The Hills: New Beginnings. Whitney has been married to Tim Rosenman since 2015. They have one child, Sonny, who is two. Over the summer, Whitney announced on her podcast, With Whit, that she’d miscarried their second child at six weeks. In the episode she was interviewed by Tim, who also discussed the loss. During the season finale of TH:NB, Whitney detailed her grief over the miscarriage during one of her confessionals. She called it “all-consuming”.
Whitney Port is still grieving over her recent miscarriage.
On Monday’s two-hour season finale of The Hills: New Beginnings, the 34-year-old confides in costar Kaitlynn Carter about the sad news that she and husband Tim Rosenman had lost their second child on the way — and how she is struggling with the mixed feelings surrounding it.
“Pregnancy news is usually really exciting news, and when I found out I was pregnant I didn’t immediately feel so excited. I was really scared, actually,” says Port, who’s already a mom to 2-year-old son Sonny Sanford, in a confessional.
She tells Carter she had “really strong symptoms” just like in her first pregnancy that disappeared “all of a sudden,” leading to a “whole process” of emotional upheaval after she found out she was miscarrying.
“The grief is all-consuming. It’s all you can think about,” Port continues in her confessional. “It’s like a death is happening inside your body, and you’re also supposed to show up for your child that you have and you can’t really be sad in front of them, and you’re just confused if your feelings are okay [or] if they’re too dramatic.”Port told her friend it was “hard to open up” about the experience because she doesn’t want to be labeled “insensitive” for feeling a sense of “relief” in a way, considering she wasn’t sure she was ready for a second baby yet.
Now, Port tells Carter, 31, that she is waiting for “that moment” when she will feel ready for another child, but admits, “I don’t know if that’s ever gonna happen.”
First of all, my condolences to Whitney and Tim. I hope being able to talk about it publicly, both on her podcast and on the reality show, was therapeutic for them. Whitney knows she’s a target for negativity due to her reality show connection, so this was a real leap of faith for her to share in this way. We’ve discussed miscarriage many times on this site. There are so many emotions wrapped up in having a miscarriage, it’s different for everyone. But I don’t believe we’ve touched on the last part, feeling guilty about being relieved. I think that’s important to bring up because I think it might be more common that we know. And that lends to the confusion Whitney discussed as well. Processing that many conflicting emotions at one time is enough to short-circuit anyone. I hope that any of you going through this have someone you can reach out to. Just remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel. It’s your loss and thus your process to get through it.
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram
Been there. It took me over a year to get over my last miscarriage. The worst part was other people’s attempts to comfort me. “The body rejects it for a reason.” “Just try again!” “Everything happens for a reason.” Doctors are especially callous. They were just like “Yup, nothing there anymore.” and wouldn’t return my calls when I had questions. I asked a doctor about it later and they said it is just so common that it fails to register to them that we could be devastated. I really hope Whitney has a good support system and that people on the internet are not mean to her for revealing this.
Miscarried before my third child and then 3rd child started as twins and one did not develop and was absorbed into my system. When I stated bleeding the second time I totally lost it (I was at work). Learned many things during those two incidents. Many women miscarry without knowing they are pregnant. And twins are more common than people think because like me one doesn’t develop and is absorbed by the woman’s system. The only reason I knew was because I started bleeding. Its heart breaking to have a miscarriage even if you don’t think so.
This made me see her differently, much respect for being so open and honest about feeling relief. I’m sure she’ll feel guilt about that for a long time, even though she shouldn’t! She’s a hard worker and a good mom, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to add another child to that mix.
We’re fed this bullshit that all children are a blessing and we should be happy no matter what when we get pregnant, that’s not always the case and it’s ok to feel burdened or not ready. It’s ok to put yourself first and be “selfish”, or want to focus on your work and other children more, it’s your life and you can feel whatever you want!
The truth she speaks here, about everything. I’m just after miscarrying my second at 5 weeks. We’ve been trying for a while so I knew very early but lost it over the weekend about 4 days after finding out and I am devastated. I had put trying off as I wasn’t sure, and now I am racked with guilt, should I have started sooner? Was it something I did, subconsciously?
And yes, you do get all the “it just wasn’t for this world, at least you have one already, better now than at 20 weeks” but luckily I have a good acupuncturist who specialises in pregnancy and fertility who just said out loud, everything I had been bottling up, how I should feel everything, how just because it was early doesn’t negate my feelings, it’s a loss, having one already doesnt make me “lucky” compared to others.
My heart is with all women (and partners) who suffered this x
We all do process losses differently. I don’t even count my four (the first four was so early I only knew because of charting, the last three were dissolving twins) because they just didn’t register and for each of the twins I didn’t even know they were there until they weren’t and I had a live birth with each. I know so terribly many women who had late losses, dangerous to them losses, much tried for losses…. it can be very sad and it can be very much a mixed bag and it can be devastating.
And I’m glad that we’re talking about it so it’s not a terrible surprise for the women for whom it happens to, because it happens a lot.
I’m impressed and proud of her for being so honest. Her experience with pregnancy and babyhood has not be great. She must feel huge pressure to be a super mom and love every minute of it, because that’s what all the other former-teen reality stars are like. It hasn’t been like that for her, and for her to admit it and admit to feeling relief and reluctance to try again is risky and so refreshing. Whitney has always distinguished herself in my mind from the rest of the Hills, etc., people because she seemed more interested in her design career than in TV. I’m glad she’s still being different and not just faking a smile to be like the rest of them.
I am so glad she admitted to feeling relieved and I agree that the emotions around miscarriage can be so complex. I wasn’t relieved per se when I miscarried my second pregnancy but I also wasn’t particularly sad about it. I was more worried that I wouldn’t be able to conceive a second child when I was ready. Even though we were trying, in my heart of hearts I wasn’t sure that I was ready. My first child was only 1 year old, I was working hard toward a promotion, and my body wasn’t recovered, so I really felt like it was a message from God that it wasn’t the right time. What was weird is that I did start to get sad 9 months later around my due date when I still hadn’t conceived again. Then I conceived in the same month that I was due with the second pregnancy so for me “the plan” was clear bc I couldn’t have had my second if that pregnancy had gone to full term, but I don’t like to talk about it bc I worry that is insensitive to women who still struggle to conceive after losing a second pregnancy.
Been there too. Last year we started trying to get pregnant. I was 36 and DH was 38. We started trying in February. On June 4th we found out I was pregnant! We were thrilled. On June 8th I started bleeding and then had intense pain and had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. We were heart broken. I was devastated. We spent the rest of the weekend crying and sleeping and I was down for a week or so. Everyone does grieve differently. It helped me to think that there was nothing I could do, that there was some chromosomal error. But it did hurt when other people said “at least you got pregnant” or “at least it was early.” Even if *later* I personally felt those things, in the immediate aftermath it wasn’t helpful. I also felt like I wasn’t allowed in some way to be very sad because it was “only 5 weeks” and we had only known for 4 days. In the end we conceived 2 weeks later and that pregnancy continued and is now my 6 month old son!!! So that was unexpected and amazing. I will still always wonder who that first pregnancy might have been, however. Esp since we are one and done.