The once stylist, now designer Rachel Zoe is mom to two boys, eight-year-old Skyler and five and a half year old Kaius. I remember when Skyler was younger, he had a pretty healthy head of hair. He’s since cut it various lengths, but Kaius has chosen to keep growing his out. And he should, because he has absolutely gorgeous hair. Both boys often appear on Rachel’s Instagram… so I think we all know what’s coming next: hair-shaming. Rachel recently clarified that Kaius loves what he considers his surfer hair after commenters on her posts told her she needed to cut the poor kids curls.
Over the course of (Rachel Zoe’s) nearly two-decade-long career, the stylist-turned-designer, 48, has perfected her signature look. And now her son Kaius Jagger, 5½, has developed a fashionable look of his own: tousled long locks!
Zoe — who partnered with Pottery Barn to design kids and teen home collections that launch Thursday — tells PEOPLE that Kaius loves his shoulder-length hair.
“For the record, my son thinks he has cool surfer hair,” say The Zoe Report founder, who’s also mom to 8-year-old son Skyler Morrison. “At the end of the day, it’s not like I’m torturing him. He loves his hair. He thinks it’s cool.”
“A few days ago, someone said something [on Instagram] like, ‘You know, Rachel, I think at this point your kids are old enough to where they’re going to start being made fun of for their long hair. You should really cut it and be nice to your sons,’ ” she recalls. “I responded with, ‘Please unfollow me.’ “
The fashion mogul says she “can’t wrap her head around” the concept of using social media to criticize someone else’s kids or their parenting style. “I think anyone who takes the time to insult someone’s child is pretty much a horrific human being,” Zoe tells PEOPLE.
I’m not a big fan of Rachel in general but I will 100% back her on this. I *can* wrap my head around people using social media to criticize kids but only because they do it all the time. That definitely doesn’t mean it’s right or that I approve, just that I know it will happen. But I’ll admit I am gobsmacked we are still having this G-D hair discussion in 2019. I watched the Catherine Reitman show Working Moms the other day and they have an asinine discussion over a toddler boy who has long hair as well. I thought it was going to be enlightened but it ultimately descended into “little girl” and “pretty princess” jokes. I just can’t.
Even if someone makes the wrong assumption, it’s easily corrected: “Oh, your daughter is beautiful.” “He’s my son.” “Sorry – your son is beautiful.” Kids will simply ask outright: “Are you a boy?” “Yes.” “Cool, let’s go pour glue in the projector.” Once again, it’s adults making this an issue. Almost all the nasty comments on Rachel’s boys’ posts mention that they thought the boys were girls or sisters. Considering Rachel hashtags almost all of them with #brothers, that just makes the trolls look dumber. And what’s really insulting to me is that so many women, in particular, think being mistaken for a girl is the worst insult a person can endure. I like the response Rachel gave, “Please unfollow me.” As for me, I might follow her just to get my hair fix because seriously, look at how gorgeous these kids are:
Photo credit: Instagram and WENN Photos
I make my son to cut hair whenever he asks me. He has no say over when to go to bed and is obliged to eat vegetables, etc. He however can have a say over what hair he wants. What’s the big deal? People will literally pick an issue with anything.
At about 10, my son decided he didn’t want haircuts. I said okay and that he should have agency over his hair/body, as long it wasn’t dangerous or harmful. My family went nuts and tried to shame us whenever they saw us. He kept his long hair for about 18 months. Woke up one day and decided he didn’t want long hair anymore. End of. Why aggravate yourself over hair, of all things?
@BTS – I received the same treatment from my relatives whenever we’d visit them (made me appreciate how far away we lived). It got so aggravating I finally had to tell each person who felt entitled to criticize to back off. Older son went through many phases, and I knew the down-to-the-shoulders hair (beautiful, healthy, dark brown, shiny) phase wouldn’t last. But anyway, so what? Sometimes it’s a peer group thing and half of his teammates wore it long. At 14 he buzzed it off to 1/4 inch. Kids have such little control over anything, they should at least get to choose a hairstyle – all we asked was that it was clean. There are def more important battles to wage. We give them life, but we cannot control their thoughts or desires.
My son (now 5) didn’t want to cut his hair for the longest time… and I never pushed it. We did compromise when he got older and did an under-cut with long enough hair on top to put in a pony tail.
Then one day he thought about giving himself bangs, not realizing that hair cannot be re-attached. LOL Poor kid, I had to shave his whole head, he was so upset about losing all his hair… and ever since then he has decided to keep it at a more manageable, albeit longer than “normal” length for boys.
seriously…parents have to pick their battles, and hair length is NOT ONE OF THEM. bedtime, nutrition, screen time, etc…all worthy of enforcing. but hair length and clothes (as long as the kid is wearing SOMETHING when they go out in public) is not worth it. I have a friend who let her kid wear a superhero costume or Disney princess dress out to the grocery store. why not? it’s just not worth fighting over something like that. side note: I LOVE it when I see a kid dressed like that, or in an outfit that was clearly picked out by the kid, with mismatched patterns or colors. think rainbow leggings under a sparkly green skirt. just let them be kids where they can.
besides, that kid has gorgeous hair.
Plus ALL of the 1s!!!!!
Exactly! And, in fact, I’ve encouraged my kids to do what they want with their hair because it isn’t permanent! Grow it, cut it, dye it, fine, go crazy. Who cares, they are kids being expressive and having fun. The world will try to beat that out of them soon enough.
Alarmjaguar – You’re right! (Lol, creative hairstyles intrigue me.) One day – as people age – the hair may go away, so enjoy it while you have it. I’d hate for my kids to have a dominant memory of me being a Hair Nazi when they were young.
Rachel’s kids are cuties and appear well-adjusted. I remember being told how cute my “daughter” was (he was between 1-3 yrs. old). A person I commented to told me that it was the highest compliment if your son looked like a girl. It meant his face was very attractive. (Ack, I didn’t care anyway.)
I think Syler looks like his Father and Kaius resembles his mother. Both boys are adorable and seem to be very happy.
Good for her! My son avoids haircuts like the plague due to sensory issues and we haven’t gotten any negative comments yet thankfully. If someone were to bring it up, I’d ask them how it was any of their business. It’s so weird to me that people feel the need to police what children look like.
Omg I just commented about this!!
I remember my mother telling me a story about her younger brother. She showed me a picture of him as a young boy (3 years old) in England in the 1930’s. He was the baby of the family and his mother dressed him in velvet shorts and a button down white shirt. His hair was long past his shoulders and in ringlets! He looked gorgeous but his father did not agree with the look. So one day when his mother was out of the house, my grandfather picked him up and took him to the barber for a “proper” boy haircut. Personally as long as the kid keeps it clean and looks after it, I don’t see why it is anyone else’s business. And it does give the child a sense of agency about their own bodies and identities.
As long as it’s clean I don’t see a problem. That’s what my mother in law always said about my husband. He’s had long hair off and on since high school, currently it’s almost as long as my own hair. He’s the owner of a successful electrical company and an all around great guy. Hair is like the least important thing in the grand scheme of things in my opinion.
My son has sensory processing disorder, and could not handle haircuts at that age. It was like torture, and he always ended up with a buzz cut because he could not calm down. Eventually I just said screw it, I’m just gonna let him grow it out until he’s ready, which was right around when it hit his shoulders. I was so proud of him overcoming that fear, and literally tipped $20 for a $10 haircut because the woman was really good with him and kept him calm. All the comments I got about cutting his hair drove me nuts. Especially because I heard them all the time, he has thick long eye lashes and he is a seriously beautiful kid. People would get mad and say he looked too much like a girl… just like you said. Even a day care owner once put his hair in a thick rubber band..up like a messy pointy tail to “keep it out of his face”. His hair is naturally straight, and was always clean and out of his face. This whole subject really lights a fire under my ass. People need to STFU and just mind their own business. A lot of kids on the spectrum have a VERY hard time with haircuts.
Kate, it’s so amazing to hear from an SPD mom! We’re in the beginning stages of everything and I feel so overwhelmed and weirdly helpless. Right now, they’re saying it’s hypersensitivity but we haven’t gone through the full evaluation yet. SPD is still on the table basically. I’m sorry I’m word vomiting, I only have one person IRL that has a child with special needs and it’s not sensory so I feel a bit alone at the moment lol
I know it’s been a few days, I hope you see this! One of the best support systems I had was actually a fb group called sensory processing disorder parental support. AMAZING. parents support their children’s achievements that other parents are so numbingly blind to as being a huge success. Celebration of growth, support during bad days with melt downs in public places with strangers full on asshole judgement. It’s like an army of sensory parents! They have product giveaways like chewy gems and weighted blankets. There is SO much support there! I so hope you see this comment!💙💙💙💙
Props to Rachel for giving her kids some autonomy. I suspect a lot of celebrity parents and some non celebrity ones treat their kids like dolls to play dress up with.
Props to Rachel for giving her kids some autonomy. I suspect a lot of celebrity parents and some non celebrity ones treat their kids like dolls to play dress up with.
That’s what I think when I see mothers with the exact same outfit as their daughters. I haven’t seen men doing that though. To each their own, but still, it’s weird to me.
JFC. It’s just hair. As Hecate says, kids don’t care at all, it’s the parents who get all pearl clutchy. So many bigger battles to choose. Her kids are adorable.
I’ve had a few preschool boys with long hair and literally no other kid has ever batted an eye. When one boys hair got long enough for a man bun, the kids went wild when he came in with it. It was so cute.
And lol at “let’s pour glue in the projector.” Just yesterday someone posted on one of my kid’s university parent FB pages that someone had put gum in the community printer in her daughter’s dorm. Sigh.
He looks like a little French royal boy from a few hundred years ago, not like a surfer. Cute kids.
My boys hair is cut short, but I don’t care what other parents do. At least we are allowed to call them boys still. In a few more years all kids will probably have to be referred to as “they” just in case someone gets offended you are “gendering” their kids. Seriously hate this trend of ignoring science. But love the trend that kids can wear whatever they want.
I never understand why people are so worried/angered over this sort of thing. If someone tells you what they want to be called, you call them that. For whatever reason people don’t seem to have ANY issue calling people by a nickname or a middle name over their given first name, but somehow can’t get it through their head that if someone asks you to call them ‘he’ ‘she’ or ‘they’ their wish should be respected.
The funny thing is – I can’t recall any instances where I’ve seen anyone who’s asking to be gendered a certain way freaking out over someone making an honest mistake. But I CONSTANTLY see people raging against the idea of having to not be a jerk to others.
Co-signing what Erinn said.
Also I think it’s healthy to allow a child self expression. It helps the child develop agency & healthy boundaries. Beyond that, trans kids are entitled to the same rights & privileges as cisgender kids. It’s best to educate yourself on trans rights so you can be more compassionate to people in general.
Those boys are gorgeous and the one has some of the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. And when it comes to raising kids, pretty sure hair is down there at the bottom of list of priorities. I want my one son to grow his hair long, he’s got a curl like her youngest, but he doesn’t want to and so we cut it. But I want to live vicariously through him because that’s beautiful hair.
How about people taught their kids and themselves not to make fun of boys in long hair? Or girls in short hair? Or how about we just learn not to make fun of anyone?
Yes, exactly!
Bingo!
ITA2!
My daughter got a short boy style haircut (she’s 11) and when she came to school 1/2 the comments were, “Why did you do that to your hair?!” She loves it and it looks great on her. I just can’t believe we’re not past the “short hair for boys, long hair for girls” thing already.
My son had his hair longer for a while, it suited him. Now he wears it short, his idea. My only rule: If the hair is long, you need to take care of it. Wash regularly, brush regularly.
For that reason my little daughter has short hair, she hates having her hair washed and I have to run after her with a brush every morning.
I love her response
I always liked Rachel Zoe but do not ask me why because I could not give you an answer.
I think she was called out for encouraging eating disorders in the past, or maybe it was just that she had an eating disorder and was shamed for it. I remember watching her show and thinking that she and her husband were very well suited, passionate about fashion, shallow but grounded by family.
The one and ONLY reason kids will make fun of his hair is because they watch their ignorant asshole parents do it. One of my favorite sayings is “children see children do”, they hear everything, so don’t be a judgmental POS and say stupid things like boys shouldn’t have long hair, it’s just hair for crying out loud.
Exactly. My friend was astonished when just before the 2016 election, her daughter’s classmate was ranting about “Crooked Hillary” and “stupid libs.” Parents can be awful.
Exactly, Jess! I will never understand the people who think boys should only have short hair.
I’ve lived in a beach town my whole life and this is the norm for most boys. Regardless, I think it’s great to let him decide. It’s just hair and it’s a cool way for him to have autonomy over his own body.
Great response – no one’s business but hers. She should consider not featuring her kids on a public account and maintaining a private one for family stuff. Seems to work for a lot of celebs who feel the need to use social media to stay relevant yet still want privacy.
Both of my sons have long, curly hair. That’s the way they like it, and they diligently take care of it. People have mistaken them for girls a lot (well, not the teenager anymore) and my boys will politely correct them, if they feel like it. Many people get offended and huffy about their own mistake, but more alarming are the complete strangers who reach out and touch my boys’ hair (again not with the teen so much anymore)! My son would tell people, “Please don’t pet me, I’m not a dog!”
Your kid rocks! That’s a fantastic response
I may have my black daughter borrow it when her white friends try to touch her hair.
Oh JFC who cares? The kids are really cute. Beautiful eyes.
Good for her! My son who is 11 also has long hair (which he also calls a surfer cut) and people here (PA) *can not* wrap their heads around it and are always mistaking him for a girl. What I love is that he isn’t bothered by it and as you say, neither are the kids his age! As you say, this is totally adults who can’t get with the times.
I’m from the West Coast and I swear that people are less rigid in their gendering out there. I told my son that if he were in CA this would happen a lot less often and I stand by that (West Coast forever!)
My 12 year old son has hair halfway down his back. When people mistake him for a girl, he simply says “I’m a boy,” or doesn’t bother correcting them if he’s not going to see them again. He doesn’t think being mistaken for a girl is an insult.
Do people really think they should somehow have input on other people’s children? I would never even consider having an opinion on how my friends’ kids wear their hair. Much less sharing an opinion aloud as if it should matter.
Geez, that first pic with the blue hat creeps me the eff out.
He’s cute! I mean, shape it and get rid of the split ends, if you want, but otherwise, who cares? It’s his body.
Rachel has had some reputation highs and lows, but she appears to be a fantastic mom. She clearly adores Rodger and those kids, and I want great things for that little family. (Kias is ADORABLE. His little stories are the best.)
I love boys with long hair. I had my son have long hair until two and a half years old and I was heavily shamed by anyone who would see him. I’m like ‘he counts to 100 and is doing simple math already but please shame my horrible parenting because his hair is longer than you want?!’ UGH. The rage I would feel. Then I let it go. Screw people and their opinions about shit that doesn’t matter at all! He was really sweating one summer and asked for hair like Daddy, so we cut it. I didn’t want to. I didn’t even go to the appointment. Lol. I can’t wait for the day he hopefully says ‘mom I want my hair to grow out!’ Ha! He has a great head of hair!
Gorgeous boys, at any hair length.
It’s strange because other kids always know that my son with long hair is a boy but adults are constantly calling him a girl.
He will have that hair until he wants to cut it since its beautiful and I don’t want him to. He’s 4 and looks like a mini Owen Wilson.
I have always tried to keep my kids hair as short as possible because they hated washing it and all kinds of things get into small children’s hair. We also have a crazy number of head lice epidemics going around our schools. I told them that they can only have long hair when they let me put it up, brush it and wash it. One twelve year old twin girl has chosen to keep her hair “short back and sides” and the other now has very long hair. My two year old boy detests hair-washing so his will be short until further notice!
Those are some good looking kids. The boy looks like a little boy- and he has beautiful eyes.
Honestly, as long as its being washed and brushed, who cares.
My son decided he wanted to grow his hair. That lasted until he lamented the fact that he looked like a long lost Weasley (we’re all ginger) and cut it. Now, he’s back to growing it again. It’s his hair. He can do what he wants. Always could. Hair is never a hill to die on.
My sons hate only washing their hair more than cutting it. So they have no choice. I can’t imagine how much trouble it would be to take care of their long hair. Specially after sports, swimming practice etc. So happy it can be really short and nobody judges it 😅