Demi Moore discusses Ashton Kutcher’s gross, toxic behavior in her new book

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

I was doing this job for the final years of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s marriage. I remember what a trainwreck they were, and I remember how the tabloid weeklies – In Touch, Star and Us Weekly – always had tons of reports about just how messy their marriage was. It was never really a secret – tabloids were literally paying some of Ashton’s side-pieces for their stories about affairs and hookups. So, in that sense, Demi Moore’s memoir Inside Out is full of confirmations to stories we had heard long ago. But I guess it’s still shocking to learn just how Ashton Kutcher was THE WORST. And probably still is the worst. I mean… I’ve always disliked him because of those old stories, and the feeling is mutual – he blocked me long ago on Twitter (which is still hysterical). Here’s some of what Demi says about Ashton now:

Demi Moore is revealing more details about her fraught relationship with ex-husband Ashton Kutcher. The actress, 56, digs deep into her previous marriage to the actor, 41, with whom she was married for eight years before they divorced in 2013.

In her new memoir Inside Out, Moore writes she “went into contortions to try to fit the mold of the woman he wanted his wife to be.”

“I put him first,” Moore says in the book. “So when he expressed his fantasy of bringing a third person into our bed, I didn’t say no. I wanted to show him how great and fun I could be.” She says the two had threesomes that left her with feelings of “shame.” “They were good people, but it was still a mistake,” Moore writes of the people she says she and Kutcher had sexual relations with. “I was strangely flooded with shame, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole thing was somehow my fault.”

Their threesomes caused Kutcher to stray from their relationship, Moore claims. “Because we had brought in a third party into our relationship, Ashton said, that blurred the lines and, to some extent, justified what he’s done,” Moore writes of her former husband’s alleged cheating.

While Moore was filming her 2011 movie Another Happy Day, she claims Kutcher had cheated on her a second time with a 21-year-old woman. “I knew she wasn’t lying,” Moore says of the woman who claimed she’d slept with Kutcher. “He admitted it right away.” The actress writes Kutcher moved out of their home shortly after.

[From People]

Demi also opens up how she basically had a breakdown following her split with Ashton, which I remember as well, and I believe was probably much worse than we were told at the time. I feel like she’s still internalizing too much sh-t from that marriage too – Ashton was clearly manipulating her throughout, to the point where she still thinks it’s partly her fault for “saying yes” to threesomes, which somehow gave him the green light to cheat? No. It was his responsibility to make sure his wife was 100% cool with third parties in their sex life (which he did not), and as for his infidelity – he cheated because he’s a cheater, not because the threesomes gave him a green light.

Here’s Demi’s interview with Diane Sawyer, which aired a few days ago.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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138 Responses to “Demi Moore discusses Ashton Kutcher’s gross, toxic behavior in her new book”

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  1. ME says:

    Anything to make a book sell huh? Shouldn’t some things just remain private? Ashton said he was going to tweet some shade but decided against it. I am sure he’s got some real dirt on her too.

    • tealily says:

      … Isn’t saying that much “shade?”

    • jenner says:

      Exactly my thoughts. WHY would you air your dirty laundry to the public like this? Yea Ashton seems like a d-bag, but she was scraping the bottom of the barrel to marry him and now to write a freaking book about their marriage. Gross behavior from both of ‘em.

      • LooseSeal says:

        I’m not sure I fully understand the pearl clutching over airing dirty laundry. A lot of shady stuff goes unchecked because we should keep our shame to ourselves. I kind of feel like we’ve proven it’s best if we can air it, own it, and heal and move on.

      • BlueSky says:

        It could be a matter of catharsis for her. It could be a way of her working through this sh@t. Maybe by putting it out there she could move past it. Who knows?

      • bettyrose says:

        Yeah, this dynamic always made me uncomfortable. She was a divorced mother of three, who had lived the Hollywood life to its fullest in her youth. He was an emotionally immature twenty-something. I’m not comfortable when older men with life experience marry much younger women and expect them to give up their own youth, so why is it okay for Demi? I have no doubt that Ashton behaved like a horny teenager throughout their marriage, but I am skeptical that he ever pretended to be anything else.

      • jenner says:

        @looseseal, I’m referring to a little something called dignity, which people seem to not have anymore

      • dlc says:

        Looseseal, I agree with you!

      • olive says:

        it’s a memoir, not a book about their marriage. it’s about her entire life. the press is just focusing on the ashton bits but it also covers her childhood, like how her mom let her be raped by a stranger for $500. it’s ugly. there’s going to be a LOT in that book.

      • Your Cousin Vinny says:

        @bettyrose, I tend to agree. I am not excusing bad behaviour but Ashton was young and probably still developing. If a young woman married to an older and more experienced man deserves a pass, then so too does a young man in a similar dynamic.

      • Bella Bella says:

        Did anyone watch the interview? She had a shockingly horrible childhood. I think the book will be helpful for people struggling with childhood betrayals and hardship and finding self-worth as an adult.

      • GingerSnaps says:

        This is a book about her life, not her marriage to Asston. My guess is that it’s fairly therapeutic to get it off of her chest, and, at the same time, raising awareness of the same issues that affect many men and women in general. I have never been a Demi fan, but I don’t begrudge her the right to vent. And, yes, most celebrities vent in the public eye!

    • Anna says:

      Why is it her responsibility to cover for her jerk of an ex?

      You know what Anne Lamont says – If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.

      We blame women enough for their partner’s behaviors. Demi isn’t the one who behaved badly here, and it isn’t her responsibility to pretend otherwise.

      • Ali says:

        ❤️ that Anne Lamont quote.

      • DS9 says:

        Agreed, Anna. Demi is owning her part. She’s owning more than she should, imo.

        From what I’ve heard, she details her life before him, her struggles, the insecurities she came with, how poorly she handled them, and states baldly how harmful that was for her daughters but Ashton is in his feelings because she confirmed what we already know.

      • Christina says:

        Thanks, Anna. Not to thread jack, but to thread jack, this is the problem with the Nicole Murphy/Fuqua thing. People want the women to shut up, but it isn’t gossip unless you are an uninvolved third party. If it’s an interaction between two people, it’s her story to tell or not. If he looks bad because of what he did, oh well. If Demi is lying, Ashton is a big boy. He can defend himself.

        I want the Demi Moore’s of the world to share these things so that young women learn what other people experience in relationships. Demi Moore has suffered greatly in her life, and she had an awful childhood. I find her grating, but I support her. She has endured a lot, and I feel that I can not deny the good she has done for our culture, as much as a celebrity can do, especially when I think of how far she’s come.

      • Sidewithkids says:

        Love the quote.

      • Tuntmore says:

        @Anna Love everything you said.

        I’m so glad to see people in this thread speaking up against this idea that sharing real, traumatic life experiences is a shameful act.

        Spoiler alert: That’s how oppressors and abusers make sure they don’t get found out. They encourage and nurture this culture of shame, that it’s “indecent” to talk about such things. Women especially are told to keep their mouths shut and protect the men in their lives.

        There are few things more beautiful and human than the sharing of trauma, pain, and fear with other people – to delve into the darkest parts of yourself and let others know they’re not alone. The world is scary and no one knows what they’re doing and we’re all just trying to make sense of things. This is basically what all art is.

        Demi is a survivor. Her story can help others. If someone has a problem with that, then maybe they should step back and try a little empathy.

    • DS9 says:

      I am beyond tired of this line of reasoning?

      Have you ever felt shame and/or struggled with feeling isolated?

      It’s so incredibly strengthening to find or read about others and know you’re not alone, that it’s possible to find a way out.

      Demi doesn’t need the money. She could book a Netflix series tomorrow if she was looking for work. She still garners attention wherever she goes.

      But she’s borne this for years, has dealt with therapy and done the work to get better. It’s her story to tell.

      If Kutcher had an ounce of decency he’d STFU at least and silently bear his part. He was a doucher. She has no obligation to hide his poor behavior from the world.

      And if he’s truly dedicated to the cause of helping women and girls then he’d understand how his past behavior contributes to their harm.

      A simple, “yup, I was a tool but I’ve matured and I’m sorry for how we harmed each other during that phase of our life” would be all her needed to do to be decent.

      That he doesn’t speaks volumes.

      • Mignionette says:

        THANK YOU SO MUCH for this @DS9 …. being told we should behave like ‘perfect little women’ is LITERALLY what perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

        I don’t advocate calling people out for the sake of it and yes there is an element of Demi’s publisher pushing for content that will sell.

        That said parts of her story are HARROWING and leaving some of those parts out not only dilutes her story but is an injustice to her and other women who are facing the same issues.

        Ashton’s shady behaviour is clearly being included as part of HER story and an analysis of how she got there. If you don’t like it then don’t read it,

      • ME says:

        Hmmm ok so Ashton should “STFU” but Demi should be able to run her mouth and we should just believe whatever she says? Hey I’m not a fan of either of these people (and I don’t think either is innocent) but so many women can be hypocritical when it comes to things like this. If Ashton had written a “tell-all” most of you would be claiming how he should have “kept it private” and how disrespectful he is. Airing dirty laundry is gross and she’s only doing it now because she wants her book to sell. That’s my opinion and you have yours.

      • otaku fairy.... says:

        I kind of agree with you and Looseal. Plus, Ashton and his reputation will be fine. Our patriarchal society isn’t as rigid or unforgiving about what straight men – especially successful ones, do with their bodies. Or in some cases, what they’ve done in general. People forget that, and #Himpathy is sometimes over the top. Isn’t Ashton’s unfaithful past already common knowledge anyway?

    • BL says:

      What’s wrong with telling her own story? Shouldn’t she decide whether or not certain things in her life reamain private? I’m impressed with her ability to be so candid. Annnnnnd we all knew Ashton was a cheater at the time.

    • stepup says:

      I don’t know…

      Self-help “gurus” love to talk about “running away from ‘toxic’ people.” But I think the toxicity we should be shedding is our furtive training to keep life’s missteps, hardships, frustrations, and sexual experiences and confusions bottled up and private.

      I mean, if everyone just let their shit — from money issues to sexual stuff — hang out more, we’d probably understand each other better. All that “keeping up with the Joneses” baggage would dwindle, and everyone would probably be less stressed (hence healthier), kinder (more empathetic), and more productive.

      • Tuntmore says:

        @stepup Your comment was amazing. And I agree 100%.

        It’s so much harder to hate and judge people when we realize we’re all struggling with the same things.

      • Hoot says:

        @stepup, very well stated (and true). It’s why I refuse to engage in social media other than a casual glance every six months.

    • serena says:

      It’s her memoir, it not just ALL about Ashton, but as he was part of her life it’s her choice to discuss it or not -and it would be hypocritical not to.

    • Ririfan says:

      She talks about her life. Raped at 15. Married at 17, cheated. Addictions, brat pack, Bruce… it is NOT a book about a manchild. She married a younger man. Men do it all the time. God, women cannot win.

    • Kimberly says:

      ashton wasn’t gonna shade her. He was gonna be defensive, and retaliate against a person, who has every right to tell her own story that happens to involve him. The reason he posted he didnt (about looking at his family one at a time) was to guide people to support him by appearing to take some high road. He can get all pissed that he comes across as the douche he more likely was back then. I remember all the stories about he being a jerk to women he dated.

  2. tealily says:

    Dang, I forgot they were together for 8 years! In my mind it was 2 or 3. They always seemed like such an odd couple.

  3. Kimberly says:

    you’re right it confirmed stories about Ashton we’ve all heard over the years. He has always been really gross person with mother issues.

    • Kosmos says:

      After seeing the interview with Diane Sawyer, I feel that Demi comes across as sincere. I’m not sure why exactly she felt the need to write a book about her life, and I also could never understand why she married Ashton Kutcher, just a young stud and maybe not as mature as you would need a husband to be. Even if she and Ashton has issues, I never condone cheating, so in my book, he definitely screwed up. Later on, when we see her falling apart in front of our eyes, it was easy for many people to blame Demi. Now I see it differently. I wonder what Bruce Willis would have to say about all of this?

  4. Sharonk says:

    She’s pathetic. Why do these has been actresses need to put the spotlight on themselves. Leave the guy alone. He probably was a douche but that’s not her problem anymore.
    Anything to stay relevant, including embarrassing your children.
    Get a good shrink instead. Money well spent…

    • MrsBanjo says:

      Yikes. Nope. This is a bad take. She’s not at all obligated to keep that to herself. If people don’t want their long-term bad behaviour to be aired by the people they’ve hurt, perhaps they shouldn’t hurt people. Or at the very least, own up to that behaviour if they’ve since matured.

    • smcollins says:

      In fairness the celebrity memoir is nothing new. At least she’s the one telling her story instead of some unauthorized biography. As far as her daughters being embarrassed, she stated in an interview that she let them read the book prior to it’s publication and anything they didn’t want in there she would remove. They all gave their blessing without any requests to remove anything. And she’s also talked about how she was (still is?) in therapy for years. It’s her life story to tell, and she has every right to tell it.

      • schmootc says:

        Agree completely. We should all be able to tell our stories, especially if it helps us process trauma or hurt that has damaged us.

    • jenner says:

      I don’t think she needs to cover for his crap behavior. Buut I agree, she only comes across as pathetic and petty in all this.

      • MrsBanjo says:

        Do you even understand that this is about HER ENTIRE LIFE and not just that bit? That’s what people are taking from it but it’s not just that relationship – a relationship that lasted almost A DECADE and had a massive effect on her. She can tell her story if she wants. She does not have to edit it because he might have feelings. She doesn’t even really blame him for all of it. She’s speaking about how that relationship, his behaviour, and her reactions affected her. SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THAT.

        She’s not being petty. Fun fact: people’s experiences often involve other people. And sometimes those other people hurt them. If they want to share how they were affected by that, they can. If she weren’t Demi Moore and were someone not remotely involved in Hollywood, no one would blink at this type of memoir. In fact, non-celebrity women would probably be applauded for sharing their stories. Yet because it’s them involved, she’s called petty. That’s some bullshit.

      • serena says:

        @MrsBanjo +100000 couldn’t have said it better!

      • jenner says:

        re-read the title of this blog post. that is what we are discussing here. and yea, she also threw other celebrities under the bus. sounds petty and pathetic to me.

    • Eliza says:

      This book is about her entire life. Would you tell any author to edit things out of their story because it might hurt someone’s feelings? Especially as they were together nearly a decade. It’s an autobiography. The PR is leading with this because it’ll get headlines, but I doubt the majority of the book is about Ashton.

    • serena says:

      So she has not right to let her feeling be known? Also I’m pretty sure her daughters know very well what went down and support her, they won’t be embarrassed about it (and why should they??).

    • Bella Bella says:

      Once again, did you watch the interview? The book is about her whole life. She had a shockingly horrible childhood. I think the book will be helpful for people struggling with childhood betrayals and hardship and finding self-worth as an adult.

  5. Jodi says:

    With all of her interviews and stories, why buy the book?

  6. Jb says:

    I still can’t believe Mika Kunis married that creep and had kids with him. Hands down he’s gonna or has cheated on her. Hopefully Ashton doesn’t do anything successful and he fades into obscurity

    • bettyrose says:

      I sort of give Mila a pass just because he was her first love, she probably carried a smoldering torch for him for many years, and they were both single when they reconnected. I’m a little surprised that it went as far as marriage and children with them, but maybe he had finally aged out of his frat boy behavior by then. We don’t have any reason to believe they’re not fully devoted to one another, do we?

      • Jb says:

        True as I don’t like Mila any less but I was disappointed with her choice to marry him. And as far as the fidelity or infidelity, his response to Demi sharing this information shows, to me at least, that he still hasn’t matured and taken responsibility for his actions and more than likely he’ll stray again. Saying he has plenty of shade to share but that he won’t doesnt exactly show personal growth but for milas and her children’s sake, hopefully he’s as devoted as you believe

      • Tuntmore says:

        According to both Mila and Ashton, they started out as a “purely physical” relationship and said going in that it was going to be all sex, no emotional attachment. Then they were living together within a month and married/expecting within a year.

        It doesn’t really sound like he changed much. He made sure to lock Mila down quickly before his charm wore off.

    • Dani says:

      Why would you wish that on her and their kids? Maybe he has changed.

  7. DaisySharp says:

    I often wonder if he cleaned up his act for Mila, which I suspect he did…at first.

  8. Seraphina says:

    What a mess. Not sure what to think since some of the commenters bring up very valid points. But I think the more they dog the more crap will smell. And why one earth would she air this and have her daughters aware of their sexual escapes.

    • stormsmama says:

      maybe she doesn’t feel shame
      or ashamed like you suggest she should be
      and maybe she wants better for her daughters
      and by being honest about her issues and errors maybe they wont make those same mistakes

      Jeez alot of Demi hate here Wow
      So much pearl clutching
      Should she just disappear is that better for you all?

      • Seraphina says:

        Frankly, some things are better left unsaid. Yes. But different strokes for different folks. No one is crucifying her for any of what she is saying. Some of us are a bit more conservative when airing out details of our lives. To each their own. RELAX.

  9. Zapp Brannigan says:

    Ashton Kutcher doesn’t have time for this nonsense, he is too busy defending $sci-bot Danny Masterson. Douche is gonna douche.

  10. MarineTheMachine says:

    I think Demi is entitled to share her experience. She clearly suffered a lot in the last years and this book is probably a way to close a sad chapter of her life. I bet it could help some people too because she’s always been relatable. Ashton’s tweet was childish and mean.

  11. Candikat says:

    Team Demi. She was out of the public eye for awhile, and then came roaring back to the spotlight at the 2001 (2002?) MTV Music Awards looking AH-MAZING at the age of 40 or 41. Like, life goals amazing. That’s the night they publicly debuted their relationship as well. Her marriage to him was all tied up with her “second act” of being smoking hot in her 40s, so psychologically I can see how she’d be desperate to hold onto him as she continued to age. He was a d-bag, if he was unhappy they could have quietly divorced instead of making it a big messy deal. She’s not the one who cheated. (I’m Team Mila too, BTW. Run girl!)

  12. Ok says:

    I understand that Demi has her own issues, but I’m still curious how Mila is doing. If I were married to someone and his ex told everyone about him cheating and threesomes, I’d do a double take and ask myself if I really know them that well. I know people change but some of those things are just… behind mistakes it seems.

    • nb says:

      How do you know him and Mila don’t do the same thing or have an open marriage and she’s cool with it?

      We don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. She’s known him for a long time, they’re in the same industry so I’m sure through the years she had heard all the rumors and stories about him and she still decided to be with him. I just have the feeling this isn’t news to her.

    • Originaltessa says:

      Milan has known him since she was 15 years old. They grew up on the same set. I REALLY doubt anything he did in his 20’s would shock or surprise her.

  13. Pixie says:

    Hmm, this is all a lot to take in. It sounds like she has had a difficult life and I do feel badly for her. I do think it is very obvious we are only getting one side of the story, and I am confused about the power dynamic she is painting here. She is making it sound like he had all the power and manipulated her, when she was 15 years older, way more famous/had been famous for longer, had an ex husband and 3 children, more life experience and much more wealth. I am not sure I am sold this 25 year old ‘manipulated’ her. Especially, considering by her own admission, she didn’t clearly communicate her addiction issues which clearly caused issues in the marriage. I am no Ashton fan, and there is no doubt he cheated and was probably not the best husband, but I think this is painting him out to be more of a villain than is fair.

    • Carol says:

      Demi cheated on her first husband. She seems shocked that Ashton cheated on her. Did she think she was the only one who strays? I don’t understand her surprise.

      Didn’t her daughters stay close to Ashton after the divorce? That seems weird if these were the circumstances surrounding it. Odd all around.

    • Elisa says:

      @Pixie: that’s exactly what’s buggging me as well about her quotes, thanks for stating it so eloquently.
      This reminds me a bit of the Cyrus / Hemsworth mess.
      Good for Kutcher for not commeting…

    • DS9 says:

      The thing is Demi cannot account for what went on in Ashton’s head while they were together so of course, she can’t mitigate or be expected to mitigate his actions and reactions.

      Ashton was too damned old to be cheating and even idiots with the emotional development of a turnip should know that okay, let’s have a threesome doesn’t make it okay to have non threesome sex with another person.

      But nothing prepares you for the trauma of a miscarriage, the heartache of IF, not are people just born knowing how to deal with their partner’s substance abuse or handling your partner’s childhood trauma when they’ve not handled it themselves.

      I don’t get Ashton is a villain from this. I don’t get a sense that Demi is saying he is one or that he’s fully or even mostly to blame.

      And I don’t believe in “my truth”, “his truth”, etc. I believe perception can make the truth feel different to people. Whatever Ashton’s position is, it’s unlikely to make Demi a liar, merely a different viewpoint of their separate and combined struggles.

  14. ariel says:

    Makes me feel bad for Mila. B/c chances are he will eventually cheat, and gaslight her into believing she bears some responsibility for his screwing other people.

    As for Ms. Moore- I like that she takes responsibility – not for douchebag’s cheating- but for what a lot of us do as women- fit into a mold of what a man wants. Instead of saying- this is who I am and if you don’t love and adore me- then this is not a good relationship for me.
    I do think she bears some responsibility for the failing of the relationship for that reason- but she bears 0% of the responsibility for him being a cheater and douchebag.

  15. Jennifer says:

    I hope Ashton has matured since then. With all of his work with sex trafficking, it reminds me of how predators cultivate a public persona that will help shield them from accusations. I hope that’s not the case, and he was simply an immature, self centered toxic bro during his marriage to Demi and has since grown as a person. It would be wonderful if instead of alluding to dirt on Demi, he would say something like “Our marriage became toxic, and I am deeply sorry for my part in that and that’s no longer the man I am because I recognize that that behavior is unacceptable” or something along those lines.

    Also, I had an abusive ex that used similar logic regarding his cheating. Except we never had an actual threesome, I just indulged his dirty talk about it, so when I found him sexting other women he claimed that the lined were blurred and what did I expect talking about other women with him? It’s because they can never be responsible for their own behavior. And for his wife and children’s sake, I hope he is much wiser now.

    • Northern_Girl 20 says:

      Whoa! A far cry from straying and having threesomes to being a predator!!

      He was much younger and in his 20′s, I’m sure (and there is NO evidence pointing to otherwise) that he had matured. He has a wife and 2 kids now – doesn’t need this dirty laundry being aired!!

      Can we not talk about how her own “mother” sold her?

  16. Amelie says:

    I never understood them as a couple and was unsurprised by their messy breakup. Demi disappeared for awhile while she was raising her 3 daughters. Dating Ashton who I believe was on That 70s Show at the time made her relevant again with the whole cougar image and she definitely enjoyed the attention. I feel sorry that she was treated so poorly by him though I am not surprised. He always had the reputation of being an ahole.

    I did not know that she had a miscarriage while married to him. That had to be devastating and it seems they went through a lot of fertility treatments to try to have a child together, which I think also caused a strain on their relationship (along with all the threesome ridiculousness). I always said Ashton would leave her for someone his own age to have kids with though I never expected for that person to be Mila Kunis. I wonder about Mila and Ashton’s relationship… a tiger doesn’t typically change its stripes.

  17. Snewtsie says:

    I’m glad she is sharing her story. I was in a similar type of marriage and I struggle with the same misplaced shame of agreeing to things that I was pressured into. If you cannot relate to her story, then just don’t read her book.

  18. ChooCHooo says:

    Mila hinted she cheated on a long term ex. Not sure why you guys crucify Ashton and forget that Mila might be cut from the same cloth.

    • Carol says:

      Demi cheated on her first husband. They all have regrets. Why is Demi getting a pass?

      • ennie says:

        I have no idea of why Demi married her first husband, but I work with troubled teens and many of them are desperate to leave their home and will go and live with/marry someone just to escape bad situations at home.
        If Demi had a bad childhood, and married, believe me that she was not on a stable, mature state of mind (I understand that she fell into drug addiction in her youth, too).
        To me, she has a bigger pass to behave badly and make terrible decisions than either Mila or Ashton. She was taught nothing by her parents.
        I wish she is more health now. I am also married to a younger man, I really thought she was in a good place, I never thought they would’ve end their marriage in such a crashtastic way.

    • M.A.F. says:

      Because Mila is not part of this narrative.

    • Amelie says:

      Mila most likely cheated on Macauley Culkin. They were together for 8 years. She has always hinted that she sabotaged that relationship without specifying she cheated but it doesn’t take a genius to read between the lines.

  19. Valiantly Varnished says:

    Books like this always rub me the wrong way. Because it’s essentially selling the most private details of your life and relationships for profit. It grosses me out. Is Ashton an a-hole? Probably. I’ve never liked him. But this book is from her perspective only. And in life there is his version, her version and then the truth. This is simply Demi’s version of events and already there have been people pointing out that she embellished. Jon Cryer went on Twitter to deny the story about her taking his virginity and while he was good natured about it it bothered him enough to say something. I take “tell-all” books like this with a major grain of salt. Because the telling all almost always involves telling about other people.

    • ME says:

      100% agree.

    • Jegede says:

      Yeah. Selective memories.

      There’s seriously shady stuff Demi did right from her days on General Hospital, to her marriage to Bruce Willis.

      I’m certain if Kutcher wrote a book describing his experiences with her, he won’t get a scintilla of support.😶😶

      • H says:

        What did she do on General Hospital?

      • DaisySharp says:

        Probably drugs, like everyone else on the GH set at that time. Genie Francis has spoken about the set, the culture there, and how badly it messed her up. Personally I don’t get all judgy about it, since I know I would have been doing it too. So young, so much at their fingertips. So much pressure. GH was a cultural phenomenon at the time, after all.

      • Jegede says:

        NOT drugs.

        And it’s interesting that calling Demi’s own heinous GH action out is ‘judgy’.

        Proves my original point.

    • Northern_Girl 20 says:

      100% agree as well .. and I love how class Jon was.

    • M.A.F. says:

      “Jon Cryer went on Twitter to deny the story about her taking his virginity and while he was good natured about it it bothered him enough to say something. ”

      This, to me, she should have kept her mouth shut on or at least not use his name. Talk about your marriage but to bring in something like this? Regardless if it is true or not, it’s not her story to tell.

    • holly hobby says:

      For many years she was troubled. I remember stories about her re making of St. Elmo’s Fire. Joel Schumacher basically said she was a drug addicted mess. I don’t have the article. It was from Entertainment Weekly when they did a throw back of the movie. She as engaged to Emilio Estevez at the time too.

      • Sidewithkids says:

        She mentions this. She mentions bad things she has done. It’s a memoir. She’s not just talking about others and what they’ve did. She’s mostly talking about herself and what she did, good bad and ugly.

  20. DS9 says:

    I’m not worried about Mila. Maybe he cheats on her, maybe he doesn’t. I’m sure their dynamic is very different and Ashton is at a different place in his life. If he’s not a total chode he’s told her some of this, if not most of it. But I think most of us leave our partner’s past relationships in the past.

    But I’m seriously agape at the responses that seek to minimize Kutcher’s responsibility and paint him as too young to know he wasn’t being a crap partner and that Demi was oh so old and mature and had all the power.

    I think we forget the nature of celebrity and that perhaps young gossips have forgotten or are unaware of the differences in celebrity culture in the 80′s and 00′s.

    If that doesn’t make sense to you, please Google the Brat Pack, look at those careers, the men vs the women, refresh yourself on Hollywood culture in that era, compare and contrast Bruce’s career even with Julia Roberts if you don’t want to compare it to Demi’s and then come back to me.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      I agree on all counts. Specifically his relationship with Mila. I think both he and Demi are equally accountable for what happened in their marriage. Ashton was an adult and old enough to know right from wrong. He wasn’t a child.

  21. Elle says:

    It was a case where he was not in love and she was as she put it “addicted” to him, which isn’t true love, it’s an unhealthy attachment. He was trying to check out of the relationship very early on, and when that didn’t work tried sabotaging it. That was incredibly immature and gross of him but she was also very much at fault here. She knew he was pulling away and was trying to hang on for dear life, to the detriment of her own well-being. You have to know when to let go when it is clear he’s Not prioritizing your feelings at all.

  22. DS9 says:

    To be clear, I did not mean that Ashton shouldn’t speak about this marriage if he wants to. He lived it. He can feel free to discuss it.

    But if he does, he ought to do it properly with the same level of introspection and self criticism Demi seems to be taking here. Own his part, lay out his growth, share boldly the pain he caused himself, his former wife, his stepchildren, and state what attempts he’s made to make piece with that and to be more careful with himself and others since then.

    But nah, he’s got snarky tweets stayed only by the loving hands of his current wife and children.

    And now I’m thinking of Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, another prime example of an undisputed douchelord man pretending he had absolutely no part in his ex going from a successful actress to shrill, bitter harpy…

    Believe women and maybe we can save our daughters heartache. The gaslighting starts early when men to use our vulnerabilities against us.

  23. Gutterflower says:

    She apparently also wrote that she took Jon Cryer’s virginity, which he politely called her out for on twitter that it wasn’t true.

  24. Oliviajoy1995 says:

    Nothing she said about Ashton is at all surprising. He was young when they got together and she always talked about it from the time they first hooked up throughout their marriage about their age difference. Why she stayed after he slept with her daughter’s friend is a mystery in itself. I’d like to know if there is any dirt with her and Bruce’s marriage? I was bummed when they broke up because they always seemed so perfect together. Also, what happened to the karate instructor she dated for years when she lived in Idaho. Where’d he go?? Guess I have to buy the book. Damn.

    • Tourmaline says:

      I’ve read it–I wouldn’t say ‘dirt’ on Bruce, but I would say it comes across as complicated… She says they got married in 1987 in a whirlwind, and didn’t know each other very well and Rumer was born like 1 year after they met. Then starting about 1990 (right after the release of Ghost) he started telling her he wasn’t sure he wanted to stay married. He cheated on her. He gave her a hard time about her career. They went on to have two more kids after that and stay married for about 8 more years but as she tells it they really just grew apart.

      For all those (not you Oliviajoy1995) saying how dare she air this publicly, it’s an autobiography, of a woman who has been a star for almost 40 years and at some point in the 1990s was THE number one actress in Hollywood. She has a right to write an autobiography and I don’t think she takes cheap shots at anyone, it is a very measured telling and she comes across as a a thoughtful person. Of course excerpts glorify the most lurid details. The way she tells it is that after her divorce from Ashton she did hit rock bottom, huffing whip its with her daughters friends, and ended up totally estranged from her daughters for years. But I feel like she owns her part in how it all went down.

  25. serena says:

    I don’t know why people are being so harsh on her.. I don’t see anything wrong with writing a memoir, biography or whatever, it’s her choice and a whole lot of celebrities do that. And yes I believe Ashton has always been a douche, maybe he changed or maybe he didn’t, still it was his fault but people are still coming after her.
    If she wants to tell her life story (however accurate that may be) let her be.

    • DaisySharp says:

      because they find ashton attractive or have an old crush on him, and so they come to his defense, in the back of their minds he might leave Mila and then get with them. lol

      • ME says:

        Oh please ! How about people just have a right to their own opinion?

      • otaku fairy.... says:

        Sometimes that does happen, but in this case I think it’s mostly the fact that Demi hasn’t lived that ‘Good Girl’ life and has been messy that’s driving some of the reactions. But even in other situations like with Joss Whedon’s ex, there’s this narrative that women-especially mothers- exposing the impact of men’s behavior like that is one side going too far.
        It does feel creepy sometimes though how people don’t mind celebrity gossip about women’s sex lives and relationships until it’s the woman saying things herself.

  26. Em says:

    I absolutely despise the current culture of airing every personal story on social media. Men, women, everyone is doing it. This didn’t need to be said. Sure, it’s wrong what he did. But life happens, shit happens, when humans are involved. This was years ago and he’s since settled down and has children. For whoever is going to claim that criticism of her is anti-women or some BS….please grow up. Not everything involving one’s personal life is meant to be a salacious story. Tired of this throwaway culture of attention-seeking behavior.

    • Tourmaline says:

      It’s not ‘airing every personal story on social media’–it’s called a memoir. Is that a new concept for people?

      • Tuntmore says:

        @Tourmaline You know these kids today, with their throwaway culture! They don’t use those big paper objects with words inside. They think “memoir” is French for “meme.”

        *shakes fist at whippersnappers

  27. pyritedigger says:

    I’m no fan of Ashton Kutcher, but I’m confused how he’s a dirtbag for saying he wanted a threesome and her agreeing to it. Sounds like she didn’t have a lot of self-worth and so she agreed while having deep feelings of shame. But it sounds consensual and she says she was enthusiastic about it outwardly. Whatever feelings of guilt she had for engaging in consensual sex is on her and for her to work out–why she did things she didn’t actually want to do, why she feels shame for having sex–because there is nothing intrinsically shameful about a threesome (I’ve never had one because I’m not interested).

    The cheating is all on him tho. You want multiple partners? Break up and do what you want.

    • Gingerbread says:

      THANK YOU. I thought I was the only one on this. Ashton asked her, she said yes, she regretted it, and now it’s his fault she did?? In what world. He’s not a mind reader.

      I don’t condone cheating but she’s cheated in her past relationships so I’m not sure where this pearl clutching from her is coming from.

    • ennie says:

      Of course she did not have a lot of self worth. She was an abused child, and grew up to fall into drug addiction, she had a lot on her plate and was probably on a better stage when she married Ashton. That doesn’t mean the insecure hurt little girl inside her had dissaepared. Remember she had a lady eye, which they operated on, etc. Small things like that really leave a mark and she is still probably nurturing her fragile self esteem.

  28. SJR says:

    I recall when Demi & Bruce were both at the top of of the Hollywood game.
    They dominated the tabs for years.
    I had no idea about DM childhood. Heartbreaking.

    I say she has every right to tell her story. Totally agree that the more light is shed on issues the more everyone can relate and heal.

    Ashton used her to get a foot up in his career, and now hearing these details re: threesomes, cheating.. F.O. Ashton! Damn, he gets no pass from me. That crap is not “immature.” It is cruel, unkind and manipulating your partners to get your own way. OWN your past shi*ty behavior, Ashton.

  29. Sidewithkids says:

    It’s not really a surprise to hear tho, like some have said I too remember their marriage towards the end there and it was basically a trainwreck. I’ve never liked Ashton as well, seems like a di— to me, always has. Demi tho has always struck me as a cool person but still a young girl at her core. This being a memoir, Demi informed her exes she was writing the book. Ashton just in his feelings about the truth. He should be honest as well. The truth is the truth, these toxic men just love to run from it and act has if they are clean. They are not.

  30. Yes Doubtful says:

    It’s sad that all the things he did to Demi, he’s probably doing to Mila. I wish she had better taste in men.

    I do think it was wrong of Demi to say Jon Cryer was a virgin when she slept with him. What happened to fact checking? His response was classy at least.

  31. Lory says:

    Ashton’s comment “I was about to push the button on a really snarky tweet. Then I saw my son, daughter, and wife and I deleted it.” is so passive aggressive and maybe indicative of how he manipulated Demi and possibly Mila. If he has something to say, then own it, just like Demi seems to have done telling her sorry and version of events. Don’t hide behind playing the role of loving husband and father.

  32. Adrien says:

    I don’t understand the concept of threesomes or open. Maybe when you’re dating but not when married. Almost always it’s just one person who wants it and the other half just uncomfortably agreeing.

    • ennie says:

      I have no idea, but when it’s only to benefit one side, leaving one partner half heartedly participating… nope, that must be crushing.
      It reminds me of Ross from friends participating in the “threesome” with his wife and her friend Susan.

    • april says:

      Brandi Glanville did the same thing to save her marriage to Eddie Cibrian.

  33. Marisse says:

    It’s really disturbing how many women are in these comments defending Ashton and shaming Demi…

    Internalized misogyny is alive & well.

  34. Siul says:

    Once you write about your life, you know you’ve hit the skids in Hollywood. She hasn’t made a film in a while. Though the details of her life may be true, she also uses it to let everyone know she’s still a player in Hollywood. No one does things like that out of true altruism . We may feel for her; but she has her eyes set on going back to acting again, and her book is a ticket to it. Come back a year from now, and her book will be 60% off at the Dollar Tree store.

    • Tuntmore says:

      @Siul “Once you write about your life, you know you’ve hit the skids in Hollywood.“

      Just curious, would you also say that about Bryan Cranston’s memoir from a few years ago? Was that a pathetic money-grub to remind Hollywood that he was still an actor?

      • Tourmaline says:

        This!
        The shaming for writing an autobiography is so weird to me. There are good and bad ones but scorning someone for writing one is bizarre to me. Like it or not Demi was a huge Hollywood star for many years. There is a long tradition of famous acting personages writing books going back decades. Are they all losers or just the women who write them and dared to reveal relationship struggles with such a luminary as Ashton Kutcher?

        Also ironic that people who frequent a site like this are so horrified about a juicy celebrity memoir.

  35. Cynic says:

    For people making “why air dirty laundry” comments, she never really talked about it before this whilst he was letting it all hang out, never being discreet, and seemingly getting off on the coverage actually. She deserves to go on the record about this. Anyway, apparently the book covers a whole spectrum of stuff from her life but of course the news stories will focus on the cheating scandal. Since he dealt with the media fallout so irresponsibly and never tried being discreet about it, Demi should have her say about it if she wants to. Besides, it’s really about her taking stock of her life. I found the story about her alcoholic mother pimping her out incredibly sad. I caught a couple of her video interviews for promoting the book and she seems 100% genuine and open about sharing the good and bad – taking stock and just sharing her particular story.

    I agree with the blog writer about Ashton Kutcher being a huge douchebag. He’s always seemed to be an emotionally stunted douche who was kind of leveraging Demi’s fame for his own benefit. He and Mila did a big happy couple thing yesterday or the day before to “counter” the Demi stories. And as for Mila, I feel badly for her as I remember the Swedish make-up artist story and the massage parlour one as well. Once a cheater…..

  36. Yawn says:

    My thoughts on this, coming from a man’s perspective, and forgive me ladies if i sound harsh, but damn, is nothing in this world sacred and private anymore? Why do people feel the need to air out every bit of dirty laundry for the almighty dollar? And let’s not be hypocritical here and say Ashton wouldn’t be condemned to hell if he ever wrote a memoir airing this crap out and not being praised as “brave” and “real” like Demi is. I don’t necessarily like either of them as actors, and I’m not defending Ashton’s alleged behavior, but there are two people in a marriage and only one of them is out here trying to profit off it at the moment…

    • Cynic says:

      That you, Ashton?

    • Tuntmore says:

      @Yawn Oh don’t worry, you don’t sound harsh — you just sound like a member of the oppressive class that benefits when people are shamed into not telling their stories. Which is pretty much a man’s perspective in society.

      Why should toxic relationships and abuse be considered “sacred and private”? What exactly is so sacred about being treated horribly by other people?

      Shaming people into silence is an ages-old tactic of ensuring that victims stay voiceless so that abusers can continue to get away with their behavior, with no fear of accountability.

    • jenner says:

      You don’t have to be a man to have this perspective. Airing dirty laundry so you can run to the bank is pretty crass and low.

      • Cynic says:

        She’s worth $200 million. It’s not about the money and their relationship is just one part of the book. She’s responsible for staying in a toxic relationship but he seems a huge douche the way he never defended her in public when the cheating scandal broke; instead, he seemed to thrive on the controversy and attention.

      • Tuntmore says:

        @Jenner “You don’t have to be a man to have this perspective.”

        Very true. Women who have internalized misogyny will also perpetuate the message of “just shut up and don’t try to hold anyone accountable.”

        It’s a vicious world out there, and plenty of women will turn against other women to appease the patriarchy. A lot of times they’re not even aware that’s what they’re doing — that’s how ingrained it is.

  37. virginfangirls says:

    I never condone cheating. Just leave if things are bad. But she was a hot mess of a partner, & sometimes people do shit to get out of a rs that’s gone horrible wrong instead of a more mature way of dealing with it. So I wouldn’t assume once a cheater always a cheater from this one scenario. Has he cheated on other women?

  38. JulieCarr says:

    January Jones said that when they dated he would regularly tell her she wasn’t pretty enough to be successful as an actress.

  39. L says:

    I’m surprised the other thing she said about Ashton wasn’t covered. He basically messed with her head in such a way that she compromised her sobriety. It sounded like Ashton is a manipulative dirtbag, and with the content of this article, I think he definitely is. Poor Demi… And THAT makes me worry for Mila.

    • Cynic says:

      He was linked to a Swedish makeup artist and was photographed outside a very seedy massage parlour (people worth tens of millions can’t afford private massages) whilst with Mila, so who knows.

      This story is an interesting lesson on goodwill. Kutcher conducted himself really badly whilst Demi has decades of goodwill built up and continues to come across well. She wasn’t ever Meryl Streep but gave watchable performances and some very good ones (Disclosure, Ghost, A Few Good Men, GI Jane, and Margin Call) throughout her career. Also she’s never been disingenuous with the public but seems pretty genuine and truthful if that makes sense.

    • Cynic says:

      Also, ultimately this story is about putting a woman’s story out there, no holds barred, in an industry where women have traditionally been silenced or marginalised. Culturally she has most definitely made a big impact on “pop culture,” however much you might value or not value that – with things like her whilst-pregnant cover, being a highest paid woman, playing leading roles in huge vehicles, just being visible as a woman in HW, etc.

  40. Gorgonia says:

    I didn’t know about her terrible childhood. I feel so much for her. As a woman who had an abusive mother herself, I understand a lot of. I hope she is well non.

  41. Walden Scott says:

    Nowadays we are being told how it is cool to “agree” to cheating in a relationship and how you can bring in a third party to spice up your sex life and so on.
    The reality about all this kind of “legal” cheating is in most cases (not all of them but most of them) simply this one:
    There is a couple and one partner wants to have sex with third parties while being in the comfort of a relationship with the other partner. The other partner wants to keep the one partner and therefore agrees to threesomes or open relationships or other types of non-monogamous sexual relationships. In the end it leads to a split and usually the one partner who just agreed feels stupid or guilty or betrayed or all of that.

    I hope Demi is well / gets well cause I really like her and I hope she gets some more great movies. “Flawless” is a masterpiece, really. Demi can bring so much to the big screen I hope she gets more parts. And she needn’t worry about no longer looking like 20 cause she has so much more she can bring to a movie.

  42. Justwastingtime says:

    I don’t know much about Demi Moore other than her movies.. I met her and her daughters once at a dinner party about five year ago and she seemed low key and nice

    I know a bit more about Ashton through his biz ventures, he has successfully invested in some tech companies over the years.

    The fact that Ahston is so tightly linked up with the “bro” sleazy founder of Wework (Adam Nuemann) is not exactly a ringing endorsement of his character. Adam just this week got forced out of the company ahead of the IPO for self- dealing and a serious messiah complex.

  43. Sue says:

    Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I don’t think is Ashton responsibility for what two people decided to do in a marriage, i.e threesome. Reading a lot of the excerpts from the book, it looks like she is not taking responsibility for her part as well.

  44. JanetFerber says:

    This reminds me of when Bob Marley’s wife (I think Rita?) said that Marley had raped her during their marriage and she was told by a friend of Marley’s to STFU. Women are always told to protect abusive men. People won’t believe them/won’t care and they’ll be labeled disloyal, spiteful, lying, etc.
    Bullshit to that. The illusory curtain between public and private has protected men from the consequences of their actions forever (including jail time and damage to their reputations, which may rarely impede their professional lives). It’s what a Woody Allen and Brett Cavanagh count on.
    Trump, too. Is there any question that this censure of women is patriarchal and oppressive? That it protects perpetrators and victimizes women?

  45. Sarah says:

    Threesomes are so disgusting, especially in a relationship. Honestly his age is no excuse for it either.good on her