Ansel Elgort wants to be in love with more women but not for sexual purposes

New York City Ballet

Ansel Elgort has been with his girlfriend Violetta Komyshan since 2012. He’s 25 years old and she’s 23, and they were high school sweethearts. I’ve never really given it too much thought, because I honestly prefer not to think too much about Ansel Elgort. But Ansel wants me to think about him. He wants me to ponder this: Ansel Elgort is in love with many people, men and women, and he wants to be in love with more people. He wants to “fall in love” with people other than his girlfriend, but he doesn’t want to have sex with those people. Okay. Let’s do this.

Ansel Elgort wants to find “a lot more love” before his 30th birthday. In a bizarre new interview with The Times, the 25-year-old actor says he’s looking to love more females, but not in a sexual nature.

“It doesn’t need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend,” he said. “I think we’ve been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that [option] should be open, but sexually it can be closed off.”

Elgort has been dating 23-year-old ballerina Violetta Komyshan since they met at LaGuardia High School in 2012. He went on to explain, “I’m in love with a bunch of my male friends who I’m not interested in having sex with, so why can’t I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with women? I love Shailene Woodley and we never had anything sexual and that was great. There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can’t help, but you just have to be disciplined and not be a f—— … We’re primitive beings.”

During the interview, Elgort addressed a series of 17 shirtless selfies he posted on social media in May, that deeply confused the internet. “I was hanging out and somehow — and this is almost embarrassing to admit — I just did a photo shoot with myself,” he said. “I took a bunch of photos of myself and decided to post them because it was honest. I’m obsessed with the idea of not wearing a mask.”

The actor currently stars in the film adaptation of Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch,” playing the adult version of the lead character Theo Decker, who develops an addiction to prescription drugs. “He’s on OxyContin, which I’ve never tried. I don’t know how it makes you feel. I thought about taking one just to see, but I don’t really trust myself in that way,” he said, adding he didn’t think he would be able to stop taking them. “I think I’m that kind of guy. I put my foot down and said I wouldn’t do it. Maybe it’s a little selfish. I care about myself and don’t want to ruin my life.”

[From Page Six]

I think I understand the sentiment about love, I just think he might have said it the wrong way? Was he trying to say “I’d like to be open to love in all its many forms and I want more love in my life”? I think that’s what he was trying to say. But it just came out as “Ansel Elgort is in love with a bunch of dudes but he doesn’t have sex with them.” It’s the “IN love” part that is throwing people off, because we are mere peasants who associate “being in love” with romantic, sexual love and that the truly elite among us know that people can be IN love with many different people and it doesn’t have to be sexual. Maybe I’m just overthinking this, as Ansel Elgort wants me to. Maybe Ansel is talking about having a series of emotional affairs on his girlfriend, or he’s trying to describe how he wants to break up with her so he can get lots of strange. Ansel Elgort is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, posting a thirst-trap selfie.

2018 American Ballet Fall Gala

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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26 Responses to “Ansel Elgort wants to be in love with more women but not for sexual purposes”

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  1. Gingerbread says:

    Kinda sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too, tbh. I bet they break up next year so he can “sow his oats”. Hope she doesn’t wait for him.

    Also, “I’m obsessed with the idea of not wearing a mask”???? Just STFU, it’s not that deep. You took a bunch of selfies and posted it online because you thought you looked good.

  2. Jem says:

    Terrifying serial killer says what?

  3. Nev says:

    Stop this.

  4. PlainJane says:

    Word salad.

    He sounds like my narcissist ex-husband who made excuses for any and all bad behaviors. Whatevs Ansel, we’ve been warned.

  5. Lucy says:

    He’s super annoying for reasons that have nothing to do with this.

  6. Savannah says:

    He’s just confused about emotions. Frankly, he’s too young to fully comprehend how much certain feelings feel like the same thing. People mix up lust and love all the time, and I think he’s mixing “in love” with “love” or whatever.

    He’ll learn hopefully. And stop being so self-conceited. The younger generation and their selfies and truths.
    How are we going to save this planet when they believe it all revolves around them? Ugh..

    • Auva says:

      Woooow the generalizations in your post! This younger generation that’s literally out there fighting for climate change, the ones who are quite rightly afraid for their future because the past ones kept kicking the ball down the line? We’ve literally had high schoolers take on right-wing gun nuts (Parkland) and climate change deniers (Greta and all those kids who protested, marched, and raised awareness), queer and non-hetero people are more accepted and welcomed than, say, two or three decades ago, and you feel correct to generalize the entire generation as self-obsessed?

      Ansel took a bunch of selfies where he thought he looked great and posted them. Then called that ‘his truth’. Cool. Doesn’t mean you get to dismiss an entire generation because they like to take selfies. The self-righteousness in “How are we going to save this planet when they believe it all revolves around them?” is mind-boggling.

    • CROWHOOD says:

      Jesus, ya old bag, what are YOU doing to save the environment?!

  7. Ranter says:

    I always thought the name Ansel Elgort was like Engelbert Humperdinck and now I am stunned that it is a real name.
    Wiki tells me that E H is a real name too.
    I dunno about Ansel’s love life but TIL I learned something new!

  8. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    How hilariously ignorant. To the gf: Run.

  9. ariel says:

    Somebody smack this kid and tell him to shut up for five years.

  10. Pixie says:

    So…..he wants more female friends? He is an eyeroll in human form

  11. OriginalLala says:

    I had an ex who said things like this – fast forward a few months and I found out he was loving many women…in *all* ways.

  12. Daisy says:

    I can’t stand him. And I honestly can’t think of a reason, he just annoys me.

  13. minx says:

    I don’t get this guy’s appeal at all.

  14. K says:

    Geez, this guy. He’s all over the place, trying to sound highly evolved and get press for being so artsy and unusual. He seems to be labeling his platonic friendships as “being in love,” which is confusing since that usually sounds passionate/romantic. Perhaps he does love his girlfriend, but gets lusty crushes on men and women and isn’t ready to deal with coming out as bi and pursue those experiences fully yet. He could be gearing up to that, so first he says it’s just feelings of love, not sexual. Maybe she’s floated the idea of marriage and his way of avoiding it is to say, “yeah, but I have too much love to give only you, baby! I gotta spread it around.” Who knows, this might only be another promotional stunt. Whatever.

  15. Eva says:

    He is so full of bs but I find him extremely entertaining and I hope he stays pretentious and weird! That weird selfie thing made my day.

    • Becks1 says:

      This is kind of where I am. He’s so full of BS but it’s so obviously BS that I find it amusing lol

  16. Starkiller says:

    What an absolute plank.

  17. Kate says:

    Sorry, also “I put my foot down and said I wouldn’t do it. Maybe it’s a little selfish. I care about myself and don’t want to ruin my life.” Did someone actually suggest he needed to take oxy to be able to act like an oxy addict? The f-ck?

  18. paranormalgirl says:

    the jackass is strong in this one.

  19. The Recluse says:

    Soooo he subscribes to the old concept of idealized chivalrous love, the kind that does not expect being requited or becoming physical?
    Seriously, this was confusing.

  20. Caty Page says:

    His girlfriend is stunning.