I don’t decorate my house or my yard for Halloween. I figure that all of the falling leaves are autumn-y enough. Plus, I’m super-lazy about that sort of thing. As much as I’d like to be the kind of person who arranges gourds on my front steps, I’m not made of gourd money, and plus I just don’t want to take the time and effort. But imagine that you have the time, the money, the desire and the kind of judgy neighbors who expect you to decorate for Halloween with all manner of tasteful gourdification. Imagine you are Sarah Jessica Parker and you decorate the steps of your West Village brownstone with elegant pumpkins. Now imagine that The Great Pumpkin Thief of the West Village terrorizes your neighborhood in the dead of night. That’s just what happened:
I completely love how solemn she sounds as she recites the details of the crime. I half-expected to hear the Law & Order “DU-DUN” sound. She says thieves stole her “beautiful” pumpkins and all of her neighbors’ pumpkins the night before Halloween: “…All of our pumpkins were stolen, as were all the other pumpkins on our block. It is officially the Halloween heist of 2019. My husband stated, ‘Decency is dead.’ But we will salvage the intended carving. We will find last-minute pumpkins and we will hope this case does not remain cold.” They were apparently Berkshires pumpkins, as if there’s a difference between Berkshires pumpkins and New York pumpkins. But then a happy addendum: some people saw SJP’s Instagram and they dropped off some replacement pumpkins for the fam:
This is very cute. This is the kind of thing social media is for. Lamenting petty pumpkin thefts and thanking strangers for dropping off replacement pumpkins.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.