Who got the best W Magazine cover, Chris Evans or Jennifer Lopez?

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Are you ready for another episode of Kaiser Complains About Magazines Doing Multiple Covers? It’s just difficult to know what to cover separately and what to jam into one post. This is the time of year when I get sort of burnt out on “multiple magazine covers for one month’s issue” too, because every magazine wants to recognize multiple actors ahead of the Oscars. Add to that, everything is compressed with the awards timeline, so here we are. W Magazine did six covers for their Great Performances issue, recognizing Brad Pitt, Chris Evans, My Nemesis (Laura Dern), Jennifer Lopez, Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson, Joaquin Phoenix, Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler. Out of that group… it feels like Evans is the odd man out, just because his performance in Knives Out isn’t really getting awards-buzz. It was a generally-buzzy performance and he was great, but he’s not winning anything for it, unlike the other peeps. That being said, he clearly got the best cover, right?

You can read the mini-interviews at W Magazine here. There’s nothing super-notable, as most people only got about three or four questions, and it’s not really worth excerpting. I’d rather just talk about the covers! So, Chris Evans got the best cover. Surely, ScarJo got the worst cover? I feel like whoever did her makeup kind of hates her, because she looks washed up and clammy. Hey, at least W Magazine went for some representation – an Asian actress AND a tree on the cover.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

I thought Brad Pitt was Kid Rock at first glance, which I hope was not the aim here. It does feel like Brad’s post-Jolie vibe though, right? It’s like he’s going for some late ‘70s dirtbag chic, in life and art. Also: did he put a sock in his trousers? That bulge…

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Eddie Murphy’s transformation into a reclusive elder statesman of Hollywood has been odd, but here he is, getting awards buzz yet again.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Adam Sandler, luxury hobo chic. I actually feel like Sandler should go more for the Eddie Murphy thing, and try to look more like a Hollywood statesman, because that’s what he is – Sandler is legitimately a mogul who can get any film made, makes millions AND can still do the “real actor” thing.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Something nice about Joaquin Phoenix: he looks very fit and healthy these days, and I completely believe he’s the happiest he’s ever been, especially now that he has a stable home life with Rooney Mara. Something not nice: I’ve never noticed his tiny little hands before.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

My Nemesis Laura Dern has a sheet of hair in her face. Her shoes are fug as hell too.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Adam Driver: Hello Darkness My Old Friend.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Jennifer Lopez is a goddess and I would have said that she got the best cover over Chris Evans, except her hair style kind of ruined the look.

Royal Wedding Alert! Princess Beatrice is engaged to property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi **FILE PHOTOS**

Covers courtesy of W Magazine.

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52 Responses to “Who got the best W Magazine cover, Chris Evans or Jennifer Lopez?”

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  1. Dee says:

    What if I don’t like any of them?

    • stormsmama says:

      yup they are ALL BAD!

    • Lou says:

      Seriously. What a weird series of pictures.

    • Scollins says:

      That is true. However I’d take Chris Evans home in any way shape or form. He’s smart and funny.

    • Yikes says:

      It looks like Joaquin Phoenix is doing the Al Bundy (Married with Children) hand posture and “come hither, Peg” look. JLo truly looks like Jenny from the block scored a 70′s shaggadelic outfit at the Goodwill next door and is doing her “macklemore thrift store happy dance” trying to seduce Chris Evans. Speaking of Evans he looks like he’s thinking “i’m gonna need two 12 packs to unsee JLo’s psychadelic dress” while trying really hard not to bust out laughing. Brad Pitt looks kind of pimpy in his “wife beater tank”…oooofff…subliminal message to Angie…LMAO…kidding. Adam Sandler looks like his wife burnt his loose sport pants and is on his way to buy some new extra stretchy clothes. Scarjo looks like she is oscar baiting by performing her best impression of a frizzy poodle pretending to be innocent after destroying the living room pillows and being confronted by her master about it. Adam Driver looks like said master entering the living room whike seeing the mess Scarjo the poodle did in the living room and just before spitting his coffee and loudly yelling “WTF!!!! What have you done???!!!”

    • wellsie says:

      They really ARE all terrible. They will have to do 15 covers next month and they may get one right.

    • Emma33 says:

      ScarJo looks like she has the flu. But they were ALL bad.

    • Alarmjaguar says:

      Agreed! Weird lighting, no makeup, creepy sets.

    • serena says:

      Ditto.

  2. Valiantly Varnished says:

    These are all pretty terrible and it looks like W went out of their way to make everyone look like s*it. Brad looks especially gross. And ScarJo looks ROUGH. So yeah…out of a sea of bad Chris Evans’ is the best.

  3. Lara K says:

    Ugh, it’s the freaking doppleganger show!

    Chris Evans looks like Sam Rockwell.

    Brad Pitt looks like Gary Oldman.

    And ScarJo is rocking humongous man feet! Like wtf happened there? Her toes look like bratwursts!

  4. TeddyPicker says:

    All of these are awful! At least JLo tried to bring a lil glam to the proceedings with the pose, but otherwise, these just look like terrible, outtakes from an actual cover photoshoot!

    • Eliza_ says:

      Her mask of makeup is ruining it for me.

    • Scollins says:

      JLo is a fake as the kardtrashians. I don’t even bother to look anymore. IMO think she is massively overrated. Always have.

      • Kosmos says:

        Jennifer Lopez is HIGHLY overrated, people!! She pushes to get herself all these gigs so she is constantly seen. People feel she’s beautiful, but without Scott Barnes doing her full makeup, she’s just as plain as anyone can be. Not even a good actress!! She can dance, I give that to her, but her singing and acting are not worthy, sorry, but that’s how I’ve seen her all these years. Hyped and fake.

    • DiegoInSF says:

      They all look haggard except JLo, her glow is just legendary!

      • Alarmjaguar says:

        Agreed, she at least doesn’t look like she just came off of working the swing shift (cough, Chris Evans). I mean, was this an attempt to make stars relatable? The whole point is the glamour. I have many weirdly lighted pictures where I look washed out they could use if that’s what they want

  5. CatMom says:

    Pictures from the crappy parking lot. Groundbreaking.

  6. ME says:

    Looks like they took it easy on the photoshop. We are so used to seeing perfection and wrinkle-free faces that these photos now appear “bad” or “rough looking”.

  7. Maplesbass says:

    Jesus, I’m going through chemo and I look perkier than ScarJo

  8. Scollins says:

    I see Pitt and all I can think is wrinkly saggy white ass. ick

  9. Ariel says:

    Am i the only person who saw Ms. Lopez and thought- Mrs. Roper looks fantastic!

    Also, Ms. Johansen looks like she has the flu. Her make up people do not like her.

  10. Mar says:

    Why do I like these pics? They look like real people.

  11. JByrdKU says:

    Every single one of them looks exhausted.

  12. Guest with Cat says:

    Wow the photographer must hate them all. Most of you are probably too young to remember “Three’s Company” but there was a character of an oversexed housewife named Mrs. Roper and she was always in bright moo-moos. J Lo is totally channeling that look here. Methinks Mrs. Loper is lusting after Adam Driver, who popped by for some tea.

    Adam Driver at least looks normal. Goodness that man is tall! The top of his head comes up close to the door frame. Mine would be just a few inches above that light switch. Lol.

    There is Aunty Laura, everyone’s favorite eccentric aunt back from shopping.

    Adam Sandler is caught shopping after being the first to recover a bit from the hangover he and Joaquin woke up with after their dealer Brad dropped off their order last night. He’s pulled together pretty well after the night of hard partying with Adam. He got showered. But he’s not completely with it yet or he wouldn’t have sat on the ashtray.

    Stuffy Cousin Eddie is bragging that his kid got into an Ivy League school without having to pose for fake rowing photos. But he looks good.

    Sweet Baby Yoda, when did Brad Pitt become the skeevy perving purveyor of everything you don’t want the police to know about?

    Mrs. Big Bird is rarely seen outside of her native Japan, so this is a treat. Unfortunately she’s getting some bad press lately due to the rumors she’s going after her soon to be ex-husband’s Sesame Street residuals in their upcoming divorce. The Daily Mail is saying it’s Paul McCartney and Heather Mills all over again. Readers are seething against Mrs. Bird.

    Ah, and there’s Captain America himself. Looks like he’s back from his mission and has the cure for that awful Corona virus. Yay, the beer supply is once again safe! Adam and Joaquin and Brad rejoice!

  13. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    What the frak is going on with magazine shoots these days? It’s as though they’ve lost any and all creativity they ever possessed, left the brainstorming sessions in haste and drove to KFC for a pint of mashed potatoes to throw at a parking lot wall hoping something sticks.

  14. isadora says:

    The Eddie Murphy one is decent, the JLo one would’ve been that except the styling and hair is just odd. The rest is just giving us an exhausted and in especially SJ’s case angry look. She seems to be ready to claw the photographer. Definitely one of SJ’s worse covers.

  15. Sarah says:

    SJ looks like she’s recovering from the flu in that pic. 🙁

  16. BlahBlah says:

    These are horrible!

  17. K says:

    Disappointing shots across the board. And not like in a raw or provocative way, just half-assed. Eddie Murphy’s has the only composition that doesn’t actively detract from the subject, but it’s still boring for a cover. I adore Chris Evans, but this is a sloppy behind the scenes candid at best.

  18. Alexandria says:

    I actually like this series because it looks like they’re trying to look like Instagram influencers trying to look like models. Unless…that wasn’t the intention and they have an amateur photographer. Erh Brooklyn is that you?

  19. Lucy2 says:

    Eegads those are some bad photos .

  20. Emily says:

    Evans has the best cover, although it looks like they went out of their way to make him look older.

  21. SM says:

    I mean, whoever came up with the concept and looks for this shoot is an evil genius, because to pull this shit and get paid for it is unthinkable. All horrible, except for Chris. But then even that cover looks like pic Chris’s friend took on a phone at a Sunday barbeque and Chris just emailed it to them. Brad looks like a pervert, a white middle aged man wearing sleeveless top should be a crime and I think I actually got frustrated at the sight of Dern’s shoes. Fug

  22. Naddie says:

    Brad Pitt is terrible, just terrible.