VF: Duchess Meghan simply did not know that Britain ‘is such a racist country’

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If you have the Vice channel, you might have caught an hour-long special which aired Tuesday night called Meghan Markle: Escaping the Crown. It tackled the real reason why the Duke and Duchess of Sussex left the UK, and why there was a torrent of abuse, smears, microaggressions, blatant aggressions and more against Meghan from the beginning: because of racism and sexism. Period, the end. Vanity Fair had a lengthy piece about Vice’s special, and VF conducted their own interviews too. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

British journalist Yasmin Alibhai-Brown worried about Meghan from the start: “This is such a racist country. In America racism is not qualitatively better, but at least nobody denies that there’s racism. In some ways it is more difficult for those of us people of color who live here, because it is insidious and hidden, and people don’t want to talk about it or accept it.”

Alibhai-Brown thinks Americans don’t understand Britain’s race problems: “I don’t mean to be insulting, but most Americans have very dreamy images of this country from films like Notting Hill…and they’ve seen the gardens and the palaces. But they have never known the underbelly of Britain.” Alibhai-Brown’s other concerns for Meghan were that the royal family is “ruthless and cruel—and our press is even worse. So I feared for her. I really did—thinking that she was [moving here] with this romantic image and, boy, was she going to hit the rocks.”

Alibhai-Brown on Diana: “When Diana took up with two Muslim lovers, one after another, this country was apoplectic. A potential brown-skinned stepfather for [Prince William and Prince Harry]? What was going to happen to the universe? Prince Philip is well known for his commentaries. I once met him. I was a governor of the Royal Shakespeare Company, and there was a big royal event. My husband’s English; I’m of Indian background but was born in Africa. And he was passing through this line of people, and he points to me and says to my husband, kind of with his eyebrows up, ‘Is she yours?’”

The royal bloodline: Alibhai-Brown said that some Brits still fiercely consider anyone “other than white” marrying into the royal family as being a “contamination of the bloodline.”

Why Vice did this special: “A lot of people view the royal family as a guilty pleasure or as a fantasy or gossip,” Vice Television executive vice president and general manager Morgan Hertzan told Vanity Fair. “But there are also really large underlying issues at play here, and that’s what we wanted to get into”—issues like the racism and sexism Meghan has faced. “To many people around the world, this is not just gossip and escapism.”

The Queen never defended Meghan: Alibhai-Brown pointed, “If the queen had once said, in her way, ‘Hey, guys, this is my grandson and his wife. They just got married. Back off and let them build a life for themselves,’ the hounds would have backed off. But she never did. And she still hasn’t. I find that unforgivable, actually, since she has the power. They absolutely worship her in this country.” She compares that with the Queen’s treatment of Prince Andrew, saying: “After this long, quite shameful TV interview, where you could see that this man is not to be trusted, the queen—the same queen who said nothing about Meghan—made a statement by bringing Andrew to church with her to show the world, ‘This is my son and you will not change that.’ But she never did that with Meghan and Harry. What does that tell you?”

Whether the Windsors will ever accept a non-white family member: Alibhai-Brown said no. “You can see how they operate. Diana—and I don’t know how she had it, because she was born into a very dysfunctional aristocratic family—yet this woman had an instinctive inclusiveness. She really didn’t see differences between white and black, people with HIV and us, the poor and us.… But I don’t think this family will ever lose this…The whiteness, actually.”

[From Vanity Fair]

I completely agree with Alibhai-Brown across the board, but especially what she says about Meghan walking into Britain somewhat blindly, and not really understanding the depth and nuances of British racism. I’ve always said that Meghan lied when she pretended to have not studied the royal family, because it was always abundantly clear that Meghan DID study Diana’s life and she thought, perhaps, that she could avoid some of Diana’s mistakes and pitfalls. But in doing so, and in living her affirmational/only-positive-vibes life, she walked in blind to how differently she would be treated (as compared to Diana) and all of those dusty racists crushed her. I’m not saying it’s Meghan’s fault, of course. But I am saying that the hurt and damage was magnified by just how unprepared she was for all of it.

And yes, the Queen never protected Meghan and Harry. Probably because the Queen’s courtiers were doing a good chunk of the smearing.

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II (C), followed by Britain's Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex (L), Britain's Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex (2L), Britain's Prince Charles, Prince of Wales (centre R), Britain's Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, (2R) and Meghan, Duch

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160 Responses to “VF: Duchess Meghan simply did not know that Britain ‘is such a racist country’”

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  1. Bettyrose says:

    IDK why but I’m reminded of the scene in the Crying Game when Forrest Whitaker, playing an English soldier in Northern Ireland, comments that in England they don’t say it to your face (his point was how shocking the overt racism in Northern Ireland was after a lifetime of passive racism in England but now I see a different meaning to that observation -and yes I know both countries are part of UK).

    • Becks1 says:

      I’ve heard this about the South vs. the North here in the US….the north tries to act like its not racist, but its really just a matter of whether they are open about it or not.

      • NYCGirl says:

        There’s a difference. The U.K. racism is the racism of the South around and before the 60s.

      • Veronica says:

        I grew up in the South but spent my teen years and older in the Northeast – hoo boy was that a lesson in insidious racism. The ethnic demographic segregation here is something else. Being white in the north is a constant minefield of “which white friend/coworker/customer will reveal themselves racist because they assume I am in it.” I left Facebook for a reason after 2016. POC are wise to treat all whites as suspect to be brutally honest.

      • swirlmamad says:

        And now in the era of Trump — whether you’re in the North or the South, apparently it’s A-OK to wear your bigotry and racism proudly. Sickening.

      • Baby Fish Mouth says:

        Isn’t that the truth. I moved to Michigan and people would make racist jokes make racist slurs around me. They assumed because I was a southerner that I would be ok with it.

      • Bella says:

        @NYC
        The racism in Britain is absolutely NOT the racism of the South up to the 60s. It is far less violent, for a start. Black men do not get lynched for dating/marrying a white woman, or just going into the wrong pub. The police are pretty racist but at least they don’t carry guns – deaths caused are usually the result of “restraining” or neglect of prisoners in police cells. And the incidence is much lower than in the USA now, let alone in the pre-MLK days.
        We are definitely more like the Northern states.

      • Mel M says:

        @baby fish mouth, I grew up in MI and having left it over 15 years ago I see just how bad it is there. Especially on the west side. I have had a lot of time to learn and reflect and I’m not the same person I was when I lived there but the people who stayed or my family who never left they are worse then even. My in laws proudly display their dump paraphernalia and it’s makes me literally nauseated. They are constantly spouting off fox talking points and they are the holier then thou Christians who call out people left and right for not being good Christians yet they are some of the most hateful people I know.

      • Loo says:

        Agree 100 percent

      • Erin says:

        Becks1 This is exactly how I feel racism in the north vs racism in the south is. I was raised in a middle class, educated white family and I moved south as an adult. the people I was raised around wouldn’t use racial slurs in polite company, and wouldn’t dream of being outwardly racist. I am constantly shocked by how overt the racism is here. Not to say it isn’t racist in the north, but it’s more hidden in the north, dressed up in politeness. I asked a coworker which he thinks is worse and he says the “hidden” racism in the north.

      • Sass says:

        @Becks1 accurate. The south is considered to be the most racist hotbed in the US but in reality it’s just, well, whitewashed in other US regions. I grew up in the Deep South and while my parents were very good about raising inclusive and kind people, there’s always an undertone. But my whole life I grew up with white and black kids and we all hung out together. Color blindness wasn’t a thing we ascribed to but we recognized our differences and celebrated our friendships. As a young adult my dad remarried a woman from Ohio and her son who was ten at the time came down to visit and dropped the N word in front of all of us when he saw a group of black teenage boys walking through a parking lot and I just stared at him and immediately said “we don’t SAY that word down here.” Because the way I was raised, not only by family but in the community I had been in, we simply didn’t. That marriage didn’t work out and my dad married ANOTHER woman from Ohio and she and her three adult kids were way worse about the overt racism. To this day my brothers and I stay away from them and will only see our dad when they’re not around.

        In 2012 my husband and I moved our family to Denver. The most infuriating thing about living here for me is how everyone is racist, sexist, and classist…but they act like they aren’t. Performative liberals, they talk big but are no action. “Racism doesn’t exist here” well maybe that’s because 98% of our demographic is white. I’ve seen how pta moms react to anyone who is past a certain shade of brown. At member recruitment events they would only engage the white families and barely looked at anyone who was POC. I was told we didn’t need to have black history month at our kids’ school because “they’re too young to learn about it.” By the white pta president.

        So yes. The south may be more overt about it, but for me it’s worse when states outside of the south claim racism doesn’t exist for them. It’s a lie. Racism is everywhere. Denial is powerful and infuriating.

      • Elizabeth says:

        Even Gone With the Wind (the novel, not the movie) addressed it. The South is racist, but thought POCs serve a purpose. The North wanted them to be free, but not living in the North.

      • Jane's Wasted Talent says:

        I’m sorry so many of you have had such negative experiences in the North. If this helps, those people are trash- and trash can be found anywhere, unfortunately. True Northerners look down on them, and would welcome any of you lovely ladies.

  2. Seraphina says:

    I lost a great deal of respect for TQ when she stood by her son and let Harry and Meghan fend for themselves. It drove home the sense of entitlement and racism that this family has. And yes, I read comments (other sources) and many to idolize TQ, so she certainly could have done something. A sweet old grammie she is not.

    And Wills and Kate are a sad pathetic lot. They should be secure in their position and not have to stoop as low as they have. But in reading comments from other posts, Kate shows her true colors (green with envy) to anyone who is above her in looks and work ethic.

    The monarchy should be abolished. It’s just a dysfunctional family of racists and free loaders.

    • Jo says:

      @Seraphina-yup. This comparison shows how the British consciousness reflect Meghan as “other,” as if she’s not a person at all compared to Keen Kate.
      https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/ellievhall/meghan-markle-kate-middleton-double-standards-royal?bfsource=relatedmanual&__twitter_impression=true

    • Adrianna says:

      This is not something the queen would ever mention in public. It’s just not going to happen, being a personal and private matter that involves her grandson’s wife I doubt it’s even discussed between family members. I don’t fault the queen for this as she is only doing what 90 years of being a royal dictates.

      • Katherine says:

        Uh it’s not personal and private when it’s on the front pages of the tabloids every day. Tabloids the royals have an implicit mutually beneficial relationship with. She could have absolutely put a stop to the abuse.

        Also I’m curious. Is Andrew’s situation personal and private? He got public rides to church showing his mother’s support.

        As far as I’m concerned 90 years of being a royal dictates she does what she wants when she wants. And a choice was made to not defend Meghan.

        Your argument is invalid.

      • BabsORIG says:

        @Adriana, but didn’t this same queen intervene soon after the Cambs got married and had the press back off? At the time, it was going around that soon after the wedding the BM hounded and pursued Kate like a pack of wolves after a gazelle, and they did do with such unbelievable zeal it was scary. It was reported that William talked to the queen and asked her to help and she had them back off of Kate. So the queen can get involved if she wants to but she just chose to not help H&M

      • MeganBot2020 says:

        The Queen issued a press release supporting Sophie and urging the press to leave her alone when Sophie was caught in the fake sheikh scandal, which was actually a public interest story, since a working royal trying to make underhand deals with a foreign power is absolutely a political issue, plus Sophie made inappropriate personal comments about politicians which royals are not allowed to do – Sophie’s behaviour was extremely dodgy, bordering on illegal. PLUS she made not very nice personal comments about the Queen herself, and the Queen still made a big public show of defending her which is why a major misstep didn’t become a huge scandal.

        By contrast Meghan got slammed for tiny little non-errors like wearing nail varnish, and the Queen didn’t say a word this time.

      • Mary says:

        To my knowledge, the Queen has outright told the Press to back off and/or be nice to married-ins at least twice. Once for Diana: fgs let the first-time pregnant girl buy her candy in peace; and, Sophie: please back off of Sheika Sophie. She has also, many times, signalled her support for relatives being bashed by the press (you only need to look at Andrew). So let us not pretend that the racist b*tch has never directly or indirectly stated to or showed the Press her displeasure at how it was treating a family member.

    • Catting says:

      “A sweet old grammie she is not.” Agree with this so hard. The Queen’s remoteness allows people to ascribe all sorts of dignity and being above it all to her, but her silence condoned this behavior and she has to own THAT.

      • Carrie says:

        Katherine – Your comment is spot on. It has been an eye opener and extremely sad to have been a witness to how Meghan has been treated. The racism was extreme. I don’t believe anything will top for them that no one in the family said a word when Archie was abused. That Meghan can still smile at other members of that family is a miracle.

      • Nancito says:

        @Carrie – how was Archie abused? Hoping both you and @Wisca respond!

      • A says:

        @Nancito, the press comparing him to a monkey, feeling a sense of entitlement over his existence in general, and then retaliating against the Sussexes when they refused to play stupid games is one example.

    • Wisca says:

      The way Kate responded at M&H’s wedding illustrated to me what I’d never thought: She’s a bigot, a snob, uncultured, & a racist. I never thought about her like that before. Honestly, I’d not thought much about her.

    • Jan says:

      F the queen. Royalty is such bs.

  3. Becks1 says:

    Wow, I need to find this (no idea if we get vice or not, I’ll have to check.) It seems very no-holds-barred.

    I admit that I am one who didn’t understand the racism in the UK. I still don’t entirely, but my image of the UK was this relatively diverse country that didn’t have the immediate history of slavery that the US has* or the past century and a half civil rights abuses that the US has, so while there may be prejudice and some discrimination, it was nothing like what we have in the US.

    So I can see Meghan underestimating that and underestimating the power of the tabloids, and the combination making her life really really hard.

    I also think she probably did not expect the royal family to be as racist/classist as it is, which seems obvious but if she hasn’t followed the family for years, she may have been completely ignorant about things like Philip’s racist comments, even if she studied Diana.

    • Bettyrose says:

      Becks1 this exactly. America’s history of racism is so vile, so shamelessly violent, but Britain’s most violent forms of racism manifested as colonialism on foreign shores so it’s understandable from a U.S. perspective to miss what simmers beneath the surface in Britain.

      • NYCGirl says:

        Colonialism is Slavery

      • Becks1 says:

        @NYCGirl – yeah, I actually meant to add that (that was what my asterisk was for!) – that the UK doesn’t have clean hands when it comes to slavery by any means and colonialism also has a violent history.

      • Bettyrose says:

        It is but for the most part Americans aren’t intimately familiar with the U.S.’s atrocities overseas so it’s easy to see how an American could be unaware of/misread Britain’s history. I’m not talking about Meghan specifically, just addressing the comment about Notting Hill, i.e. a romanticized image, which has some truth to it. Or heck Dowtown Abbey, which Americans watched as though it were some historical drama rather than ridiculously sanitized fiction.

    • Nata says:

      The British literally started the slave trade………..

      • Andrew’s Nemesis says:

        Well, no. Trading in slaves is biblical in origin. A lot was carried out by the Greeks and Arabs. In the fourteen century Italy used slaves as houseworkers.

      • Becks1 says:

        See above! I forgot to add my additional comment that I intended to with my *

      • Wisca says:

        Britain was a Primary Driver of the TRANSATLANTIC Slave Trade, & brought enslaved Africans to Britain until the start of the 19th century. What the F are you some of you people talking about? And for Americans not to know? Sigh.

        The British and their descendants enslaved Africans in America, Caribbean, and South America (British Guiana), which is why so many black people in the New World have British / English last names. The British in the New World were some of the most vicious racists to ever live. (I am not excusing the vile Portuguese or Spanish.)

        The British get a pass because they abolished slavery in Britain in 1800, and the Transatlantic Slave Trade in 1807, but the British and their New World descendants kept it going for six more decades. The last known slave ship, the Clotilda, carried the enslaved to the US as late as 1860.

        And what does the slave trade being biblical in origin even mean Andrew’s Nemesis? The sentence makes no sense. Anyway, slavery precedes the written Bible, but if we are talking about British racism, then the Transatlantic Slave Trade is relevant, not this #AllSlavery nonsense used to diminish the LARGEST forced migration in human history. Do you understand the historical magnitude of this four-century enterprise? (Please know, I understand that Africans themselves were complicit in the selling of the ancestors of New World black people. That’s a whole other deeply troubling story.)

        If you want to read a powerful poem about the slave trade and Britain read the poem Zong! by Canadian poet NourbeSe Philip.

    • Mac says:

      There is institutionalized racism in every country. Maybe Canada is less racist Than the US and Meghan was expecting the UK to be the same.

      • Natal says:

        Canada less racist? Gavahahahahahahaha. Well, they probably like to tell themselves they are, but the truth is, NOT.

      • Bettyrose says:

        Okay everyone just needs to stop bursting fantasy bubbles. Some of us living here on the edge of fascism need to day dream about quaint Canada with its perfect healthcare, handsome politicians, and a Dave Foley just cracking jokes on every corner. 😏

      • sunny says:

        Most places are racist. In particular many places are deeply anti-black, as blackness is defined in opposition to whiteness.

        I think it would be hard for an American to grasp the particular ways that British racism asserts itself. I’m a black Canadain, my parents moved here in the 1980s from London(where all of my dad’s immediate family has lived since coming over from a former colony/member of the Common Wealth during Wind Rush) and let me tell you that if Meghan spent most of her time in London, in a diverse set she probably didn’t get a feel for British racism till she lived there.

        And as to Canada- we are pretty racist, especially towards our Indigenous community. Also, if most of Meghan’s friends/circle here are white she probably didn’t get a taste of how anti-black Canada is and continues to be. I highly recommend Desmond Cole’s book,”The Skin We’re In” which dropped in February for anyone who wants to learn more.

      • ZsaZsa Fierce says:

        LOL from Canada

      • HK9 says:

        Less racist in Canada??!!??- oh no girl……we’ve got it down to a science.

      • Coco says:

        Canadian here. From the middle flat part. Lots of racists here esp. indigenous people. Anyone else Brown with a different religion.

    • Lexluthorblack says:

      Nope, it is racist here too. Speaking as a Black Canadian.

    • NewKay says:

      Dear White people…please don’t comment or analyze what country or region is most anti-Black racist. Please leave that to Black people.

      And yes, co-sign the Black voices saying Canada is deeply anti-Black and colonial. Same with the UK. I’ve lived as an adult, in both countries. They are both deeply, deeply racist. There’s a a reason why Canada continues to have a Black brain drain to the US- despite America’s history of racism. The same with the UK.

      Thanks 🙏🏿

  4. Nina says:

    I remember her in GMB begging Meghan to not marry into that family.
    She knew that this family was racist unlike the rest of Us

    • CC says:

      Who’s ‘us’? Why would the most elite, aristocratic, inbred family in the land not be racist?

  5. JaneDoesWork says:

    I agree with this entire piece. That said, I wish it would touch on William, because that is a huge part in all of this.

    Harry is the “spare” he is a biological foil to his brother. They raised this kid to believe that his role in protecting the crown was to support his brother and make him look good. The result has been Harry and his family being thrown under a bus to make William look better, and now William will have to rely on his kids to get him the good will he is unable to cultivate for himself since he’s too daft to relate to actual humans.

    • carmen says:

      That’s a good point about William. I wonder if anyone has any (credible) insight on this. Not a Fail journalist, but someone like Yasmin Alibhai-Brown.

    • NYCGirl says:

      You are correct. There is more at play than just racism….jealousy. When you add the lengths the Cambridge’s went because of their jealousy and William needing a foil to hide his Rose Bush the stage was set for H&M to exit. I give it 2 months before the British Press and people turn once again to Kate/William for their pound of flesh. Don’t get me wrong they will always attack H&M for daring to escape their abuse but they know for William and Kate there is NO ESCAPE

  6. Aurora says:

    Why would Meghan have studied Diana’s life? Most American women know of Diana but unless you are a Royal watcher would not be checking for her on a significant level.

    I don’t get why people keep accusing Meghan of lying about having only a passing knowledge of the royal family. This is true of most Americans. Prior to dating Harry there is no evidence Meghan was on some royal trajectory. She was acting in Canada. She didn’t hop a plane and move to London to chase Harry for 10 years.

    • MJM says:

      I agree.

    • S808 says:

      I don’t get the “she studied Diana” trope either. She was not successful in the royal family but she had a passion for people, something Meghan already had in spades. There’s no evidence of her studying Diana. Not in behavior or mannerisms.

      • Candice says:

        Exactly. not everyone in the world has fantasies about the royals. Not everyone is a royal watcher. It is extremely plausible that Meghan didn’t care about royals unless there was a birth or a royal wedding like the rest of us normies.

    • Erinn says:

      I mean, I don’t think it’s that wild, and I don’t think it’s wrong of her if she had. If you started dating a person as famous as Harry, with a mother as famous as Diana, I think at SOME point you’d be curious if things were getting serious. Especially knowing the obsession the press had with Diana – I think it’d be wise to get an idea of what you’d be up against, and how you can avoid some of the issues that cropped up.

      • Candice says:

        Yes, it is possible that she did study about the royals when she started dating Harry but Meghan said she didn’t know much about them prior to dating or even meeting Harry. Harry definitely gave Meghan a history lesson before he proposed to prepare her but the notion that Meghan studied about Diana before even meeting Harry and lied about it in the interview is off. Meghan is American. Not everyone is obsessed with royals as some are.

    • BayTampaBay says:

      Well, I have studied the BRF for years and I can tell you that I had NO IDEA how blatantly racist the BRF really is. It never occurred to me for one second that QEII or future Charles III was in any way racist. Class snobbery yes and very much so, but not racist. My final verdict on Charles III is still out.

      I think there is a metric-Fu@k-tonne of serious tea to this story that may see the light of day for years.

      • Agree BayTampaBay — Meghan’s entry into that family has really opened my eyes to just how deep racism and classism is in both the royal family and in the media. Also has anyone else noticed a common trend in all the articles about their interactions in the church. I read about 6 American reports today and they all make the effort to talk about William’s interaction but —- and here is what I find interesting —- not one of the articles mentioned Kate in any way. So, the coverup and rewrite extends to American publications as well as the usual RR BS.

      • HK9 says:

        Same. I NEVER thought it would be so bad. I NEVER thought they wouldn’t know they’d have to put a few people in their place to make Megan’s life easier….because that’s what a lot of white families who have POC marry into their families have to do. But this crap??!!?? I didn’t see it coming…their behaviour at the wedding for the world to see was was awful, which should have given me a clue. They don’t realize that this will have far reaching consequences….

    • Wisca says:

      Only people who have been royal watchers accuse Meghan of lying about this. My interest in the royal family (& I bet millions upon millions of others) went like this: Diana seems cool. She doesn’t hate black people and really seems to care about the unfortunate. HIV. Landmines. Charles is a dick. Diana danced with Travolta. Diana’s death.

      That was the extent of royal watching that I witnessed in my world. Only big moments could burst into the world of people not generally interested–or active hostile–to aristocracy and monarchy. As for Harry and his brother, they were Diana’s sons. So there was a kind of–Wow, Diana’s sons are growing up, or yikes Harry is in a Nazi uniform, his mom would not have liked that. I only knew one person who watched Diana and Kate’s weddings. So, I believe Meghan.

    • SomeChick says:

      People just want to attack her in any way possible.

      It’s horse manure.

      Just like all the other horse manure they try to fling at her. Says more about them.

    • NextToMe says:

      I’d have a PhD in a family’s habits before I married into it. Why wouldn’t she study?

  7. Toot says:

    Meghan said she didn’t know much about them, and as an American I can believe that. Especially if you were busy living your life like Meghan was.

    This whole Meghan situation has totally opened my eyes to the UK and it ain’t pretty

    • Ali says:

      I’m Canadian and I didn’t know much about the British royal family.

    • Jaded says:

      Agree. And lest we forget or the Meghan-bashers continue with their “she studied Diana and chased after Harry” hyperbole, it was actually a certain commoner who chased Wm relentlessly for a decade, through break-up after affair after humiliation, who landed the future king.

      • Dee says:

        Hmm, you’re not talking about the Diana Cosplayer we’ve been seeing for the last, oh, 9 years or so?

  8. NYCGirl says:

    How do you prepare for that type of racism. Racism that is never acknowledged by an entire nation. It always amazed me that things that are clearly seen as racist in the US wasn’t seen in the same light in the U.K. But is wasn’t just the racism it their Class system and how they treat women that marry into that family. One would think TQ would show some compassion but I have to remind myself she’s in her 90s and grew up in a time where Meghan wouldn’t have been allowed in through the back door of the palace so the front door must strike something deep within her. I find myself looking at the U.K. through a completely different lens. It’s not a place I would want to travel to and visit. Maybe Meghan studied the RF before she got married but what she studied was a facade. She didn’t truly understand the heart and soul of that country until she became a Royal

  9. TheOtherSarah says:

    I will never forget that documentary Meghan and Harry did, the one when she said “I did not think it would be easy, and I thought this would be fair”. It was such a weird and naive comment to me, because when has the world ever been fair to Black women?
    And let’s be real, it’s something much larger than the UK. The US, France & co, all of these countries are profoundly racist and have always been.

    • Melissa says:

      I think by “fair” she meant that the family would have her back instead of throwing her to the wolves. The press are whatever – everyone knows what they’re like. And I don’t believe for one second that a black women underestimated the racism of the general public. I do think she was shocked and hurt that her husband’s family were some of the worst and most hurtful offenders. I think she expected better of them.

      • TheOtherSarah says:

        Yes, it’s possible she thought the Royal family would be better (it seems Harry thought so as well) but again, how realistic was that? I don’t care how much they talk about representation, duty and service to the nation, at the end of the day, they are a bunch of entitled white aristos who are a living embodiment of racism, colonialism and white supremacy. How much fairness can you really expect from those people?
        The fact that they have yet to banish Off Michael to an island says it all IMO.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        Piers Morgan is responsible for so much of this mess. When Megan saw the kind of person he truly was, she distanced herself from him with good cause. Then he turned on her.

        All of the ugly hatred contained in the basement of public society floated to surface for all to see, be freely espoused and be monetized by the Daily Fail and others of their ilk. Piers Morgan was driving this train when it left the station and QEII and future Charles III did nothing to stop it. The train could have been stopped and redirected.

        “Rose Who?”

      • Wisca says:

        I think that Meghan, like Obama, had been treated fairly well by white people because they are exceptionally human beings, and because Meghan is beautiful, and beautiful women can be treated very kindly. Well educated, attractive black Americans (and well educated lighter-skinned & biracial Americans) may not experience the overt racism that many poor black people sometimes experience. It’s more subtle.

        But look, Meghan starred on Suits and married a prince. Obama became president of the wealthiest and most powerful nation on earth. They have lead complex (not easy), but very fortunate lives. But because they did something new and powerful & symbolically important to many, they faced the kind of gutbucket racism that neither of them, given the love they have received from white people previously, were prepared for. When Meghan spoke about racism before, much of it was couched in people’s responses to her mother–not her.

  10. S808 says:

    I get Meghan might not have known just how bad the racism is there cause a lot of us didn’t. At least I didn’t so I’m not gonna fault. I don’t know why cause it’s Britain but Meghan’s arrival pulled back the curtain on allll of that. And with the press it’s not even passive aggressive racism. They all feel comfortable enough to write their racist headlines, call her baby a chimp and call her uppity on a TV. Not sure why I ever thought Britain wasn’t as racist. It’s Britain for god sakes but I know now.

    • Guest with Cat says:

      Oh my God, when every commenter I saw jumped on the chance to explain away the “uppity” remark and how it didn’t have the same racist connotations as it does in the US, that’s when I realized the kind of racism they have over there. They’re in complete denial.

      I couldn’t believe the comments that pass without question over there. Meghan’s presence and entry into royalty revealed a side of the UK we really don’t know. It’s not like they’ve got black and brown people romancing the royals as a regular thing, so who knew how horrible it could be until it happened? Any racism Diana encountered dating two brown Muslim men wasn’t really reported on in any detail here. More was made over the fact that she was dating a heart surgeon. And people here only knew Dodi as a playboy who had dated Brooke Shields and other famous women. Not a lot of significance was attached to his race or religion. For one thing it’s not acceptable in our media to make an issue of such things. If it’s done, it is really subtle dog whistle style that would go over the casual reader’s head.

      And now, in 2018-2020? I mean it is well into the new millennium, so who knew educated people would still be so backward and stupid?

      The image of racists in America is not a good one and not one most educated professionals would care to be associated with. Our media polices itself constantly for racism. (We are still working on sexism, unfortunately). To see educated professionals spew their racism so openly on media and act as if they expect to be well received for it is really shocking to me as an American from the USA.

      And people really need to stop saying Meghan lied or questioning what she should and should not know as a biracial woman. Biracial people don’t get one homogeneous experience that we can turn into a handbook.

      There are parts of America where, if you are young enough, racism doesn’t hit you in the face daily. Where I live, racism was a huge problem until the 80′s and then it just sort of evaporated as part of my daily struggle because demographics shifted with immigration. The region became more diverse and we really did experience a pretty nice melting pot experience.

      And the racism that we now know is in her own family was likely too close for her to properly see it. It was just a part of her environment and we don’t know how she processed it or internalized it. Given that her father created a special Barbie family for her, perhaps she believed they didn’t have the insidious racism that is NOW obvious to us on the outside.

      Also, in order to succeed at all as an actress you have to stay focused and POSITIVE. You have to believe you can overcome all obstacles. And Meghan says and others say it about her that she very much put herself into that mindset. She refused to see barriers and just forged ahead. People keep knocking her role on Suits and demean Suits itself but the fact is she made it much farther than most aspiring actors and actresses ever get.

      So this is a woman who sincerely believes if she works hard enough and proves herself and forges ahead she will succeed.

      And you know what. She has succeeded. Success against racism and sexism is an incremental process. You don’t change deep seated prejudices overnight. She smashed through a huge barrier and shone a light on a massive void in British society. Conversations are happening. Questions are being asked.

      This isn’t over by a longshot. It’s just getting started. This is Meghan’s life’s work.

    • Yes S808. The RR reporters are so comfortable with their own unprofessionalism that they will stand outside a church and draw witches hats and brooms on her photos while they are waiting to file their hate-filled stories. Or, to sit on a bus in Ireland with other country’s reporters they don’t know and still loudly and completely at ease trash both her and Kate. This isn’t journalism, this is knuckle dragging and pathetic. I hop that Karma bus is big enough to come for them all.

  11. KellyRyan says:

    Diana’s, “Instinctive inclusiveness.” Harry and Meghan as well. The BRF does need to be abolished. When you believe in your own elitism and entitlement humanity, care for others is non-existent. If H&M don’t write their truth, others will as evidenced by this article.

  12. MCV says:

    That Phillip comment… a despicable person.

  13. TQ says:

    I totally agree with everything Yasmin Alibhai-Brown says here about Britain’s racism. I too feel like I walked into the UK naively as an American woman of color and have been smacked in the face with the reality of how bad the racism is here and how many people refuse to acknowledge it even exists. Lately it’s been idiots like actor Laurence Fox and MP Laura Trott saying people of color are racists for calling out racism! FFS. It’s just exhausting. Meghan’s experience has really highlighted how bad it is here and set me on a path to return to the US where at least I know how to deal with American racism.

    • SomeChick says:

      Yeah, they do that here in the US too. I see it all the time in the comments on TheRoot. Michael Harriott’s Clapback Mailbag column often addresses letters from folks who are confused about who “the REAL racist” is.

  14. OriginalLala says:

    Sadly I was not surprised by the treatment she received by the BRF – this is a family that believed (and still believes) in “rule Britannia”, that their white-ness and civilisation *needed* to be exported around the globe to “civilise” us non-British, non-white folks, and that they *needed* to rule over the country and their empire because they are born better than us, chosen by God to lead. I mean…no wonder they treated her like crap, these people are the effing worst. They need to go #AbolishTheMonarchy

  15. Tangie says:

    I’m Black American and my husband is White British and he still denies the racism in the UK. I had to school him on that (and everyone wants to believe their country is good). They really think politeness and not screaming racial slurs = no racism. However, I lived in the U.K. also and the best I can describe it is covert, polite, and insidious. If you aren’t the target or looking for it then yeah plausible deniability. But hey that’s the 21st century brand of racism anyway. It’s always about slick comments and plausible deniability of “it was a joke”, “you’re too sensitive”, “I didn’t mean it that way”, “Everything isn’t about race”. I feel for Meghan. Hopefully this wake up call did her and Harry some good. No use living in denial. The sooner we deal with the crap the better. But really, maybe we should burn it all to the ground and start over.

    • Islandgirl says:

      As someone from the Caribbean I have heard many stories of the insidious nature of racism in the UK from persons returning home.
      As an American I don’t think that Meghan would have been prepared for that. But, I feel that she and Harry would have been able to survive it if there had been support from the BRF. Instead it is absolutely clear that the BM was fed the stories that were used to smear Meghan….and by extension Harry because yes by smearing Meghan, Harry is portrayed as a weak individual.
      How do you survive if your support system is really the enemy. How do you face the future that will not get better because you are human and you will make mistakes and they will be twisted and fed to the public that only reads headlines from a media that is being enabled.
      I am a Meghan supporter…not a fan. She is not perfect but the negative stories which increased significantly in October 2018 were clearly orchestrated. They were for me a masterclass in who and what is the United Kingdom. More that that I have lost so much respect for the Royal Family…

      • pineapple says:

        Oh Islandgirl … this speaks to how I feel also. At first, she was quite adored in her new Country, but then she began outshining The British Royal Family.

        “How do you survive if your support system is really the enemy.” I think this is the key to it all, truly.

        Look at those children from The Robert Clack school. ( I don’t think I have this name right.) Those humans ADORED her. ADORED. I think the majority of humans in Britain could tolerate Meg or liked her. I think the media was asked to “whip up the hate.” I think all Countries are racist to one extent or another but that was feverish, instigated hate. That is different. Systemic yes, but also that was feverish, Trumpish, Right, emotional whipped up hate. Bots and all.

      • Karmak says:

        Yes.

    • TQ says:

      Truth!!

  16. Candice says:

    I respectfully disagree with what you said towards the end. Meghan in no way ever said she didn’t study the Royal family or Diana. She just said she didn’t know much about Harry before meeting him and that she didn’t have an understanding about the royal family which is very plausible. A lot of people don’t sit around reading about the British Royals and fawning over them like we do, there are many who are indifferent and don’t really know much about them. Meghan could very well have been one of those people upon meeting Harry.

    I’ve seen many people say she lied about knowing harry. of course she knew who he was dianas son, brother to William and a prince but did she know he served 10 years in Afghanistan, had a cousin named Peter and multiple godchildren ? Doubtful. I think only after she dated him did she know a lot more which might very well be true

  17. Ali says:

    British racism is special, just like French racism, just like Canadian racism.

    If you dont live in the country you will never know.

  18. Bren says:

    I assume Meghan’s view of Britain was based on an American tourist perspective. While dating Harry their time together was in a protective bubble so her view didn’t go beyond Harry’s insular life. Even though the press was vicious from the start, maybe she/they naively thought the tabloids would back off after the wedding. I think what blindsided Meghan and Harry the most was his family’s part in feeding the tabloids and doing absolutely nothing to protect Meghan. I don’t blame Meghan for not fully understanding the levels of racism and micro aggression she had to deal with from the tabloids and within his family. I had no idea how bad it was until I started paying attention to the royal family and British press three years ago. Sometimes you just don’t know until you know.

    • Deering24 says:

      I suspect Meghan figured if the RF truly didn’t want her around, they’d have shown it up front and never “let” things with Harry go that “far.” That’s why she was so blindsided.

  19. Jaxonmeh says:

    Let me caveat that this is my experience that I lived in the U.K. for two years due to being stationed there by the US military. I’m a cis white female and I only say that as this plays into my story and perspective.

    When I first started working in this work center and MLK Jr day came round, there was a BBC story on the television that one of my British counterparts made a point to ask me why we celebrate this day and why it was such a big deal. Looking back, I realize I made some assumptions about his perspective that maybe I shouldn’t have because I assumed the U.K. didn’t have the race issues the US has. I don’t know if I would have explained this all to him differently but it may have given me better insight in the moment to ask different questions which may have led the conversation in a different direction.

    Also looking back, there were so many issues with sexism that I had to actively shut down as well as make my US leadership aware of so they could deal with at their level, it was ridiculous. I was quietly thanked by many of the British women I worked with for some of my efforts, but I was openly ostracized by many of my British male coworkers. One of my leaders was not happy when one of their leadership counterparts confronted me without him there. I was like well honestly I never thought about it and honestly if I waited and pulled you in, it would have made me look “worse” to him. My leader had further discussions with this person and he fared no better. Regardless I stood up for myself and didn’t backdown. Since he didn’t really do this privately, well…everyone knew where I stood and I wasn’t backing down.

    Racism wasn’t an active issue I saw though, because diversity was all but nonexistent where I worked except for one British black man. I’m sure he had some stories though.

    So yeah while the US has a lot of issues in this area, we are very open about it.

    That said, I do miss my time there. The time I wasn’t at work.

    • ST says:

      Yes the degree of misogny in Britain was more eye opening to me than the racism. We Americans see a country that has had two women PM’s and those polite British accents and don’t realize the depths of the misogny. After watching Meghan it suddenly made sense to me why England seemed to be among the slowest European countries to support women’s athletics.

      • B says:

        Completely agree.

        I’m told by female colleagues I’m too pc and too much of a Feminist. Weirdly men treat me as one of them.

        But there’s always “the boys club”.

  20. Lady2Lazy says:

    I just mentioned this the other day that HAD the TQ stood up publicly to everyone, primarily the press and all others who took part in this onslaught of racism towards Meghan, this would not have continued for 2 years. TQ and Charles should have put a muzzle on Will and Lazy Krazy , for their part in the disastrous unfolding that we are laying witness to. I have absolutely no respect for the RF anymore as they have show their colors, and they aren’t the pretty ones in a crayola box.
    And in regards to Will, who Harry chose to marry is his business and HIS business alone. Is Will that delusional to think that he has the power to control his brother?
    Charles should have stepped in and held a mature discussion with his boys, but that wasn’t possible because Will is not mature enough. So sorry about the rant, but this really pisses me off. I subscribe to Vanity Fair and received the article.

  21. starcreactor says:

    I believe Meg knew about how racist the family could be. its the BRF, for gods sake. idk why people think the BRF would ever have had her back. I think she even expected a bit of unhappiness from the press (she worked in the American entertainment industry, after all), but she probably didn’t expect them to be blatantly, unapologetically racist. she went in thinking positive because of course she would, she’s marrying someone and starting a new phase in life, so how could we have expected her to enter Britain with the worse case scenario in mimd and be fully prepared for the racism that was about to come?

    • Guest with Cat says:

      She may not have known how racist the BRF could be. She probably knew about Phillip…we ALL know about Phillip. And Princess Michael. But every family has one or two buffoons like that. And Meghan’s family is really dysfunctional so who knows what she is self conditioned to overlook?

      But she probably assumed William, being one of Diana’s sons and ostensibly raised by her to have some expanded thinking, would have her back. Charles is also not known to be overtly racist. He’s institutionally racist and probably ignorant of many dog whistles amongst his culture. But he’s not known for being racist in the sense one would expect. I think he even was reported to have dated a black entertainer. Not that that means anything in particular, given their viewpoint of sleeping with certain kinds of women is okay but don’t marry them.

      Phillip was reported to have said that about Meghan in the context of her being an actress but that’s only the gossip that was allowed to leak. The real words were possibly much more racist and explicit. This is the man who expressed the wish to be reincarnated as a virus to wipe out the most vulnerable of the world’s population, which we know means black and brown people.

      Really, the naivete was Harry’s. He is the one who said Meghan would finally have the family she never had. He is the one who represented his family to her. I think he truly believed most of them were capable of the same open minded inclusiveness he had cultivated within himself. Who knows, after the scandal of how he referred to Pakistani people got out, maybe they did school him on his racism.

      They wanted him to project the politically correct IMAGE. They probably never expected him to embrace and live the reality of the values they fed him but did not themselves truly embrace.

      I think when Harry woke to this reality he was horrified at what he had led Meghan into. That is probably why he said it was hard to get out of bed most days. Guilt does that to a person. Everything else, Harry is tough enough and stubborn enough to fight. But watching someone you love suffer because you misread a situation yourself is absolutely soul killing.

      • lanne says:

        I agree with you. Everybody seems to think that marrying a Prince is such a “prize,” but how would any of us feel if we brought someone we loved into our community, vouched that community to the one we love, and then had that community turn on your partner with a vengeance? Who wouldn’t feel incredibly guilty in that circumstance? And what’s worse is the way the media tries to blame Meghan for their own racism, that she “caused” it by her behavior. No one has ever fully stated what this “behavior” seems to be–they use the words “breaking protocol” as if that means something. But a person should be bullied because she wore nail polish or shut a car door? It’s the utter cowardice of racism that I despise. The RF and the BM don’t mind being racist. They relish it. But god forbid you call them on that racism. Ffs, they might as well just own it.

      • I’ve enjoyed all your comments today, Guest with Cat. Very thoughtful. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

        And lanne, I think her “behavior” starts and ends with refusing Piers Morgan. I really think he — with Murdoch’s permission —- started this, fueled this, and encouraged and promoted this anti-Meghan stance. He really has been the incendiary Device that fueled this scorched earth war against Meghan.

      • S808 says:

        “ I think when Harry woke to this reality he was horrified at what he had led Meghan into. That is probably why he said it was hard to get out of bed most days. Guilt does that to a person. Everything else, Harry is tough enough and stubborn enough to fight. But watching someone you love suffer because you misread a situation yourself is absolutely soul killing“

        Yes GuessWithCat!! I don’t believe Meghan knew about the depth of racism. If anyone misread the situation, it was Harry and probably because of his own privilege. He thought they’d protect cause “she’s one of us now!!1!1!” and had to learn the hard way that they’d never accept her no matter how much Harry loves her. Their racism and classism far eclipses their love for him. I also agree that he feels a lot of guilt around all of this. He didn’t know his family the way he thought he did.

      • MsIam says:

        I agree with this. I think he thought that William at the very least would have been more tolerant even if the rest of the family sucked. Especially since Kate was supposedly a victim of aristocratic snobbery. Harry may have thought that William would understand and be on his side and try to uphold Meghan the way Harry tried with Kate. Instead all he got was *crickets*. Not to mention what looks like active smearing. If you are looking for a possible source for the “rift” I think this would be it, not just a one time “Should you marry her?” remark.

  22. BlueSky says:

    I think this was also a wake up call for Harry. The realization of how truly racist and classist his friends really were and the reality that his own family will never accept or protect his wife. I’m sure there’s a lot of guilt feelings seeing how she gave up her life to be with him only to be faced with this reality. I think Harry has been fed up for awhile and has been looking for an out. This whole “reevaluate the situation in a year” thing is the RF’s way of saying “He will come to his senses, leave his wife and come back to the fold” I will admit I was naive as well as to how bad racism is there. I read interviews from black British actors who say it is bad but it’s not discussed like it is in the US.
    And finally thank goodness they actually had a POC talk about the racism in that country instead of the old stupid racist white women and men who can’t stop saying racist sh@t.

  23. Marivic says:

    I wish that TV special about Meghan Escaping the Crown could be shown over here in Asia. It will pain me but I want to strengthen my understanding why Meghan was bullied out of the U.K. and find out how the British media conspired with the Royal Family to drive Meghan out of the U.K. The RF and the BM are frighteningly sinister and deliberate in their campaign to force her out and they did. But are they the victors? The whole world knows the answer.
    Following PHarry’s and Meghan’s exit, I am so turned off with the U.K. My family and I are supposed to visit the country in December but have since cancelled due to extreme British racism.

  24. GuestOne says:

    One royal reporter said that US had the history of slavery and genocide on its land which Britain didn’t. The suggestion was that US royal fans were being too sensitive in calling Meghan’s treatment racist because of US history. Clearly he hadn’t heard of Britain’s involvement in the slave trade etc and probably is one of those that thinks Britain’s only role was to deploy the royal navy to stop the slave trade.

    Unfortunately this is a common view. Brits are in major denial about empire and colonialism as it’s not really taught properly. We have black history month in Britain but my experience is that it will tend to focus on African American icons like Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks and not race issues in Britain. I went to a great school and did history until I was 18 but only recently learnt about bus boycotts that happened in the UK to combat race discrimination similar to the US but you aren’t taught this.

    And I think that reflects general attitude about racism in the Britain – heads are buried in the sand. Even as explicit as our prime minister has been with his racism, people will still defend him and deny it is racism –they will excuse him for ‘poor use of language’ etc. I think America’s history of things happening on its land means Americans are more open about discussing race.

    Also think Meghan has had a harder time then she might have expected because of the political climate too. I wonder if she had entered the royal family when Tony Blair was in charge or pre Brexit if things would have been easier with the press. It’s just a much nastier political climate& press reflects that.

    And I wouldn’t have blamed her if she thought the royal family was more open to embracing diversity. Remember just a few years ago the Queen was happily returning Michelle Obama’s embrace even though people said it was a breach of protocol and people were swooning over the family’s friendly relationship with the Obamas

    • For all his faults, I actually think. Blair as Prime Minister might have publicly defended her.

    • Ruby_Woo says:

      Or those of photos of the Obamas with little Prince George that the BRF were so happy to parade to the media. This just goes to show that they are happy to be seen with black/ brown faces for good publicity/ clout but don’t really care about race relations that much… a lot like the Commonwealth ceremony.

      I kinda wished those Black British celebrities that attended the Commonwealth ceremony didn’t and put out statements calling out the treatment of Meghan. As a Brit and WOC, it’s really made me see just how passive we are.

  25. Awkward symphony says:

    Although I hate the narrative of Meghan “studying Diana”, I agree with you Kaiser about Meghan researching about mistakes to avoid but sadly didnt think that as a biracial she’d be held to a different level🙁 No one could’ve predicted the viscous treatment she got,nor could she have been prepared for it even if she was an actress used to certain level of media attention before.
    I cant find this doc on YT. I hope they post it on their YT account because it’s a really great one judging from clips I’ve seen so far.

  26. pineapple says:

    One of the saddest parts of this story is what so many of us humans have gone through.
    When you don’t get support from your loved ones, when your family hinders you and doesn’t help you.
    If The British Royal family truly loved and respected Harry they would have made room for Meghan. That is what is hard to acknowledge and accept. I am so happy Harry is experienced enough and adult enough to see that.

    Meghan also has her fair share of “relatives you set hard boundaries with”.

    With family like that, who needs enemies.

    • Kim says:

      Thank you. Yes, the heartbreaking reality of your own family being the wolves. Once I realized I was the scapegoat of mine every interaction with them was clearly part of their systemic slaughter. They bonded in their cruelty towards me. It’s been two years since I disengaged, but being single it is the loneliest existence one can imagine.
      I’m a 50 year old white American woman from Mississippi. One of the primary issues was my questioning of my family’s racism from a very young age. I was labeled an “instigator” for that, at age 7.

      • lanne says:

        You did the right thing. A true family is the one you choose. Many of us our lucky in that we would choose the families we are born into. I certainly would. But that’s luck on my part–I didn’t do anything to “deserve” an awesome family, and that’s true for bad families as well. So you can create your own family through friends–and that family can love and support you more deeply, honestly, and freely than the folks who gave you their DNA completely absent of kindness and compassion. A person who gives kindness and compassion deserves to receive it, and I hope you have, or can find, your real family. That’s what Meghan and Harry have to do, after all: build a family that consists of them, their children, Doria, and their most cherished friends. The RF and the Markles can kick rocks. They both suck. Trailer trash is a state of mind, not a state of the wallet. The RF are Trailer Trash in Tiaras.

      • Enna says:

        Kim, I just came here to give you a virtual hug :-) I’m a 50 year old German woman and have suffered all my life from depression and anxiety. My family (…as in parents and sisters, I don’t have a partner) has treated me “differently” all my life and I never knew why, just took it for granted because the idea of my own family bullying me simply never occured to me. It is such a breach of trust to treat a family member like that (…or, as a matter of fact, anybody) that I simply didn’t realize it for a very long time. I am lonely, too – but this is still better than being constantly humiliated and devalued. Stay strong – better times will come! And be kind to yourself, that helps a lot.

      • Babz says:

        @Kim, your words just made me cry. I fully understand the concept of leaving toxic relationships, but when your family gangs up on you, and the pack mentality takes over, it’s only the strongest of people who can save themselves and refuse to be abused any longer. You did save yourself, but the thought of you being alone while they go on the way they were is heartbreaking. I’m 66, an only child, with only two cousins to call family. I live alone, and it’s tough, but to have to go through what you have takes a special kind of strength. You are a warrior, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. My hope and wish for you is that can begin to form a family of choice, made up of people who love you for yourself. It takes time, but it can be done. Your family failed you, and it’s their loss that you stood up for yourself, but you won. Be well, and know that there are prayers ascending for you.

      • SomeChick says:

        Hugs, Kim and Enna. Stay strong!

        I too was looked at as being “difficult” for calling out overt racism, sexism, and (even though I didn’t really understand what they were even on about) anti gay prejudice.

        Honestly, I had no idea what “homersexuals” even meant. But I could tell they were looking down and sneering at a whole group of people for no reason, and I knew it was wrong, even as a 7 or 8 year old. My younger siblings and I were able to shame most of it out of them, over time.

        I and many of my friends chose to leave our families of origin due to poor treatment/abusiveness.

        I ended up moving back to the area (which I never thought would happen) and they seem to be treating me with respect now. As an adult, they can’t boss me around. And they seem to be going out of their way to welcome me. It’s odd to me still, but I’ll take it.

        Part of it is that I am here by my choice. What are they going to do? Stop talking to me?

        It’s progress. It’s glacial, but it’s progress. And I think they have a bit of respect for me for not continuing to take it. They know I don’t have to and won’t. They know I will walk. Or hang up.

        Fingers crossed that it continues to go well. Perhaps they’ve grown some.

        Best of luck and wishes to everyone dealing with family BS.

      • Lady D says:

        Kim, if I can offer a suggestion. If it’s possible adopt a rescue animal from your local shelter. You can find organizations near your area that will pay for your pet to be spayed or neutered. A cat or a puppy will change your life.
        Volunteering is another great way to meet people. Senior homes, local Legions, elementary school breakfast program, volunteer reading tutor for adults (very flexible hours) There are a couple of ranches around here that have after school riding programs for underprivileged children and organizations that do the same for challenged children. You will meet such a variety of people it will amaze you. I wish you luck, and like Enna said, better times are coming your way.

  27. B says:

    I agree with this article and the other VF one. Classesim, sexism, racism is rife in the UK.

    I can see the common wealth shrinking. I don’t believe Prince Charles is a good fit too head the common wealth. he’s made too many stupid comments like his father.

    And because the queen works hard and never complains, we tend to give her the benefit of doubt.

    Let’s not put Harry on a pedestal.

  28. Margareth says:

    Before Meghan I never understand how much Britain is racist. It’s really didgusting

  29. MeghanNotMarkle says:

    I believe it. As an ignorant American I also thought there was more diversity and acceptance in the UK. This whole storm surrounding Meghan has really opened my eyes. And like Pineapple said, with family like that, who needs enemies.

  30. Case says:

    I think a lot of Americans are unaware of the racism in the U.K. because it’s so extreme in the U.S. that we assume it’s not as bad elsewhere. I’m an American and my understanding is that a lot of their prejudices have to do with class more than race itself, though of course race and class are often tied together through institutional racism.

  31. aria says:

    One thing I learned about white (some) people is that the world and other races are there to serve them not to coexist. When you look back at history and today’s world you can clearly see the racism. I want to ask people why most countries were mad at Putin ? have anyone wonder about that from a different angle? The answer is simple because Putin is oppressing white people that’s why the world hated escaiplayy the western countries don’t like it. but they are ok to trade with china who oppressed people of Asian race, horrible to LGBT and freedom of speech. The western was also so happy to be in a relationship with middle east because you know middle eastern men are known to campion for women right? The western leader doesn’t care about dictortos as long as it should not be white people who suffer. Other race is dictorto sure they are welcome with red carpet and given an imaginary medal for their work.

    • KatV says:

      If you knew how people would talk about Russians/Eastern Europeans in my country, I think you’d be surprised then. Im sure that it’s more difficult being a POC around here, but I can assure you that people also give Eastern Europeans / southern Europeans/ Russians a hard time around here. For some reason Romanians are particularly hated in this country.

      I’m happy you included “some” because I can assure you we are some white people who try to stay educated and humble in the world of understanding racism and how deep it is in every society.

  32. Sof says:

    Something that I noticed is that, at the beginning at least, people from the UK were saying that Meghan was not being criticized for her race but for being American. As if that was any better!

    I agree with you on Meghan studying Diana. She has proved in the past that she fully prepared for her job so it makes sense that she has studied other royals to see what was expected of her and how she could improve. And there is nothing wrong with it, I think she nailed it as a duchess despite being attacked by everyone.

  33. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    The entirety of H and M’s relationship and marriage has lit the royal family and exposed the unacceptable. And because of that old lady’s petting of Andrew while orating bulleted demands of H and M during their exit, I have been repulsed. They may say they’re royals. They may live in those historical buildings. And their history may go back centuries. Centuries of murder, torture, oppression, treason, extortion, mental illness, etc etc etc. Every nation across the globe has a history of malevolent and nefarious rulers. But to live in current civilized society, allowing an undercurrent of racism to continue to flow freely and lifting up family members who’ve committed heinous crimes is a very public standing ovation to centuries past. Cheers.

    Shame on them. Shame on anyone riding the velvet robe. The only two royals behaving royally are Harry and Meghan. And the look on Harry’s face in those photos is priceless. He’s the real hero. He’s the Prince. He’s the standard. And he rightly chose Meghan because she shares his qualities. She’s the standard. I’m done with leaders. Here and abroad. I raised my children to respect higher offices. I’ve withdrawn those teachings. Our leaders are disgraceful. They mock their offices every single day. And the loudest public voices are even worse. I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe there has to be a mountain of answers. But until then I’m indignant and jaded and completely finished listening to lies and being fed prepared bullshit with a side of wretch.

    • The thing we all forget is that every human being on earth’s linage goes back centuries — not just a royal, entitled few. We as humans seem to have some sort of sick need to raise a few to think they are descended directly from and speak for God. We need to get our Shit together and choose to collectively move in a different, more inclusive direction. Instead we seem to grow worse with each passing year. Those of us who try to go high just seem to constantly be overwhelmed by those of us who truly love going as low as they can. Sometimes I wish some alien life force would arrive and prove to all of us that we are so much more alike than we are different. Well that’s my rant for the day, but I’ve been living under the toxic Trump regime for almost 4 years now and it brings me daily sorrow and embarrassment in so many ways. Oh well, deep breath, chin up, let us —- “Stagger onward rejoicing.” (Line from poem, Atlantis, by W. H. Auden)

      • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

        Yeah I kinda left out everyday normals since we’re speaking about those lucky enough to be born with a name, but yes, absolutely. There’s a very long list of ridiculous and horrific acts committed by humans every day since the dawn of time. From the criminally insane to simpleton followers of the dangerous, it amazes me that we’re still walking the Earth. To explain away evil acts by receiving pardons, exceptions and justifications created on the fly, is shocking to me. We could discuss this for weeks on end and still endure bewilderment. There isn’t one answer. And the ‘everyday man’ has been complaining about these very things since the start. I can’t image pyramid builders, and their families, were happy with their lot in life. We’re a cyclical collective of saboteurs.

        The year 2016 angered me so much. I couldn’t believe anyone witnessing campaigns could, or would, allow the sludge to come out ahead. But they did, and it did, and here we are. Hateful, confused, embarrassed and even despondent. Feeling powerless is a terrible place to be. I hope enough of us rise to the occasion.

  34. BearcatLawyer says:

    I actually believe this. Meghan grew up in Southern California. She spent several years as a single woman living in Toronto. Both are ethnically diverse areas, and while racism exists everywhere, she likely did not encounter as much overt racism or naked, unfiltered hatred in either place.

    I wonder though about her time at Northwestern. She never really talks about her college experiences, even though she was seemingly quite successful there (double major in international relations and theatre and an internship at the US Embassy in Argentina). But I suspect she had some experiences in Illinois that forever changed her perceptions of racism and classism. Honestly, it was not until I went to school in Connecticut that I realized how good manners tell you absolutely nothing about a person’s true self and that having money, education, and a “good” family with the “right” name can hide a lot of sins. I sense Meghan discovered much the same in the U.K. Many people were undoubtedly polite and even friendly to her face, especially if Harry were around, but in private it was an entirely different story. I cannot imagine how stressful it must have been to never know when and from the next attack would come and to constantly wonder if your friends are secretly your foes.

  35. Leftie says:

    My mom is British and Jewish. I know that racism and classism is rampant in the Uk. The level of anti Semitism is off the charts.
    You won’t see or hear it in the more establishment papers— the Times-guardian— but the tabloids fuel it sneakily.
    I think like all families there are divisions of opinions in the BRF. The Queen was very friendly to Meghan— inviting her early on to an overnight train trip ( she didn’t do that with Kate) , garden parties , etc. Philip and the Michaels are another story entirely. I don’t think Charles or Diana brought up their boys to see color. But the circles both boys traveled in were white and Christian. I can’t imagine a full or half Jew being let in to the royal family in any way. Btw, Kate and her family were ragged by William and Harry’s friends for being self-made. The middleton’s were critiquesd mercilessly for not being aristo’s by the boys’ social set and the tabloids.
    Britain is not a fair place: class and racism still rule.
    I absent the Queen and William and Harry from most of it, due to their parentage and actions with people like the Obama’s.
    But would it be a rude awakening for Meghan? Oh yes!!!!!!!

    • GloryS says:

      Sorry my earlier post disappeared, does your Mum live in the UK now? I know there is a problem in the Labour Party at the moment, but (admittedly as a non-Jewish person) I haven’t come across it widely in the country as a whole. Remember the Kinder Transport?

  36. booboocita says:

    If your cable package doesn’t include Vice, go to vicetv.com and watch it there. Vice TV offers four free 30-min passes for non-subscribers; I watched the documentary with two. It’s about 45 minutes long, and quite an eye-opener. Best of all, most of the commenters are WOC (although Katie Nicholl of Vanity Fair shows up to poop on stuff, as usual).

    • Prairiegirl says:

      Great tip! Thank you!

    • Babz says:

      Thanks for that info. Cox carries Vice, but you have to add the channel and I wasn’t going to pay for a channel I likely wouldn’t watch regularly. I will check out their site.

  37. MellyMel says:

    Add me to the list of Americans that didn’t know how racist the UK was. I naively assumed the UK, along with Canada ( and a list of other places) were not as racist as the US. As a southern Black woman I’m reminded almost daily of this country’s vile history and I guess I wore rose colored glasses in regard to everywhere else. I thought they were a little bit more accepting of their diversity but I was wrong. Lessons learned.

    • GloryS says:

      I think we may be more accepting of diversity in a lot of areas, and certainly it is much better than when I was small ( I am 72). There are obnoxious extremists like the EDL but the very vast majority of people have no time for them at all. But the vocal minority often make the most noise.

    • GloryS says:

      @ MellymMel, I couldn’t believe it when I read that in some part of the States black (POC?) women are told they can’t wear their hair in braids for work, is that still true? In the UK they are more likely to be told they can’t have visible tattoos in visible areas such as arms, necks and faces, if they are in positions such as receptionists, etc. Some are also told they must wear heels, and there has been a majr backlash on that for comfort and health and safety reasons.

      p.s. I put POC in brackets with a ? because I had been led to believe this is what we should now say, although you identified yourself as black. Advice accepted as I don’t want to cause offence to anyone.

  38. RoyalBlue says:

    I think that Meghan believed love would conquer all. She thought the work twice as hard to be equally good trope would get her recognized as being a hard working member of the family and accepted into the fold. And boy was she wrong. She and Harry had no idea what they were walking into. I think Harry THOUGHT he knew, and prepared her as best as he could. But he is a bit of an idealist and wears his heart on his sleeve. The vipers in House Petty would only make mincemeat out of him.

    I also think that people can be raised in one place and be somewhat sheltered from such racist behavior directed at them and then fully experience that treatment moving somewhere else.

  39. galina says:

    Former army brat here. I’ve lived in over a dozen countries – euro, ME, Africa and Asia. Sorry to say but they all exhibited some degree of racism. I’ve come to think of low level, non violent prejudice as an unavoidable natural human condition.
    I know next to nothing about the UK royals but everyone in that top pic looks miserable. Sad.

    • GloryS says:

      @ galina, there is a lot of truth in what you say. It’s somewhat of an evolutionary suspicion of anyone “different”? Even here in the UK we have (some) Northerners thinking “softy Southerners” and (some) Southerners thinking “thick Notherners”. :lol:

    • NVYwife27 says:

      Military brat and spouse here. I’ve lived in Asia and am currently in the ME and I don’t think people realize just how racist other parts of the world are. It’s really bad here.

  40. tomato8o says:

    She was likely surprised and unprepared for the racism she faced because where she lived growing up and her appearance probably shielded her from some of those experiences herself.

  41. Ruby_Woo says:

    I actually came across a clip on youtube Yasmin Alibhai-Brown talking to Piers Morgan on his morning show. This was when Harry and Meghan was engaged and Piers was still swooning over Meghan and hoping to be invited to the wedding.

    I remember Yasmin saying there and then that Meghan shouldn’t marry him! That the Windsors were very cold and ‘look at what happened to poor Diana’.

    Piers was shouting her down (as he does) giving Meghan lots of compliments and wishing the couple well. But Yasmin wasn’t insulting Meghan. She just knew how hard it would have been for her. I can’t remember if she mentioned race at the time, but she was right! I certainly hope she has the clip so that she could tell people ‘I told you so’.

  42. AGreatDane says:

    Harry has been avoiding women who want to become a version of his mother, since he started dating. If Meghan had been a royal watcher who was angling to be his wife, she wouldn’t have made it past that first date. Also, Harry was saying his family would be hers, so he was pretty naive too.

  43. CC says:

    A country that instituted and profited from chattel slavery and colonialism and you are that ignorant to believe racism would be a live and real thing?

    You don’t have to live in a country to learn or understand its history.

    • GuestOne says:

      As per my post above people LIVING in Britain barely comprehend its role in the transatlantic slave trade& how brutal empire& colonialism was.

      Every society has racism but racism in Britain doesn’t get as much a profile as you don’t have as much blatant eg police brutality cases that gets international attention. It’s usually more subtle, insidious& part of normal day to day life. But racists have been emboldened in recent years which is why there was more overt racism in the press to Meghan.

      black/mixed race people only make up about 3% of Britain’s population so race issues simply don’t get much prominence. There aren’t as many black/mixed race people in positions of ‘power’ in Britain obviously compared to the US so almost less opportunities for Britain’s racism to be exposed outside of sports matches (one area where there are more prominent black people).

      Meghan was actually helped by fact that she is American because Americans recognised the press othering tactics from the Obamas etc and were vocal in calling media out. See the Victoria Mather situation where Americans got involved compared to Eammon Holmes who got barely any backlash despite his uppity& other nasty remarks.

      • Ruby_Woo says:

        If Victoria Mather was on UK TV, the media would bend over backwards telling everyone that it wasn’t meant to be racist and that she was talking about Meghan’s ‘quirky family’.

  44. Vanessa says:

    I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand that Meghan didn’t know that much as about the royal family she wasn’t lying she didn’t grown up in the U.K . This is just a way for people to say see she is a manipulator a schemer she lying their no way she didn’t know about the royal family . She was living her life in Canada acting hanging out friends saying she knew about the royal family is just a way to further blame Meghan for the abuse she endured . Society has this stereotypical view of black woman that we’re either angry or we’re scheming we are not allowed to be people with feelings we are not allowed to be human . The British tabloids and the royal reports we’re like a pack of wolfs who smell fresh meat they were savages toward Meghan they were enable to treat her horribly because the palace allowed to happen . The press thought they could drive Meghan and Harry to divorce and they would have endlessly articles to justified their treat of her but instead Harry flip the script and pick his wife and child instead .

  45. Sally says:

    I don’t like Meghan. I think she’s a phoney. However the UK has a race problem for sure. Husband is English from London. MIL bought a playmobil hospital kit. The white nurse was a nurse. Black nurse was “the black chap”. White guy she ended up chatting to on a train was just “this chap”. The black guy she got speaking to on the train was “this black chap”, and “ quite well spoken too”. An ethnically diverse area of London was “rough” even if the house prices were astounding. Insidious. Pervasive.

  46. Deering24 says:

    “ Princess Michael of Kent named her black sheep Serena and Venus.”

    What. The. Complete. Fuck?!

  47. Trish-a says:

    Has this site discussed the MSNBC trailer trash comment? I hope that beast is out of a job!

  48. Yami says:

    One of the mantras I’ve adopted for this year is proximity to whiteness will not save you. I wonder if Meghan maybe thought that perhaps being a part of the Royal Family, married to Harry and so almost white passing, she might be okay, but it wasn’t enough. Especially when the enemies are on the inside.

  49. blunt talker says:

    I for one did not know about the entrenched racism, sexism, and awful displays of true hate existed in Britain. The old saying you never know what lies beneath. England will be judged by their behavior and actions towards Meghan to the end of time. Everyone has a viewpoint for better or worse-but something will always stand out about this situation-This mistreatment of Meghan will go down in the history books. Every country will have some mention of what happened to the first POC in the royal family. People will dig, study, or research everything that happened with the media and the royal family. England really shot itself in the foot on this one. When a country has deliberately sought out to smear and destroy the one royal family member who wasn’t pure white-but will protect at all costs a royal family member who has physically and mentally hurt other human beings for decades. These commonwealth countries need to assess their bond with England. Look for other countries to forge alliances for trade and respect. England does not respect or care for black and brown people unless they are servants and crawling on their knees for acceptance.

  50. yinyang says:

    This reminds me of Tan France from queer eye, he said he wouldn’t go back to living in UK being a person of colour and gay.

  51. heygingersnaps says:

    Racism is rife here whether it’s veiled or obvious. I’m a woman of colour and my partner is white, his mum is lovely but she can be quite problematic. When I got pregnant, she was beside herself as to what my child would look like. And then her ignorance/prejudice comes out when she asks things like “are there gardens/flowers from the places you grew up?”
    Duh, just because I lived in the middle east and south east asia doesn’t mean those places don’t have gardens. Then, just recently, she sent me a message, that Disney has cancelled Mulan, probably the only good thing to come out of this coronavirus, like what?! I’m not even a fan of Disney and just because I’ve got some chinese blood in me doesn’t mean I’m automatically a fan of Mulan. Geez, talk about stereotyping.

  52. Angie says:

    I totally agree. Meghan STUDIES and looking back her saying she didn’t know…pfft she knew OF Diana however I guess studying and really living through that era ARE different.

    Can an American millennial really understand the hounding Diana received? The hounding Meghan gets is much more malicious in a passive-aggressive ways but Diana was stalked. Looking back I’m surprised she lived as long as she did.

    Meghan can pass in America and has (not purposefully) done so per her. She’s said she’s been a fly on the wall hearing people saying racist things (not to her) and them being surprised she’s biracial. I’m sure being just “Rachel Zane” in London is different than being HRH. She’s as black as me in America in that situation. They wouldn’t have allowed a dark-skinned black woman. I really doubt it, they would’ve found a reason. That being said, good for her she’s out.