George Clooney’s wedding gift to Mark Wahlberg was douchey

Two weekends ago, Mark Wahlberg finally married Rhea Durham, the mother of his three children. Personally, I think Rhea deserved some kind of award for putting up with his crap for so many years, but she still stuck around until she got the ring, so whatever. The wedding was held at a Catholic church in Beverly Hills, and Rhea wore Marchesa. It was all very lovely. But, according to the National Enquirer, there was something not-so-lovely about one of the wedding gifts the couple received.

The gift came from Mark’s Three Kings costar and friend, George Clooney. Guess what Clooney sent? Scented candles? A serving platter? A toaster? Not so much. According to the Enquirer, it was a package including “a ball and chain; handcuffs; a straightjacket inscribed with his name; and a photo of Marky Mark peering forlornly through jalihouse bars.” Ah… funny?

To his closest pals, prankster George Clooney will forever be “George Clown-ey” for wacky stunts like… sending buddy Mark Wahlberg a wedding gift that arrived just before his “I do” to new bride Rhea Durham – who definitely did NOT echo Almost Hubby’s delighted belly-laugh when he opened the box and found: a ball and chain; handcuffs; a straightjacket inscribed with his name; and a photo of Marky Mark peering forlornly through jalihouse bars.

Clown-ey ships the same hilarious gift to pals preparing to walk The Last Mile… er, I mean walk down the aisle.

[From the National Enquirer, print edition, August 24 2009]

I think what disturbs me most of all is the idea that Clooney sends this “prank” wedding gift to all of his soon-to-be hitched friends. Where is that line between “prank” and “really rude”? You know what this reminds me of? Mad Men. Granted, I have Mad Men on the brain (it premieres THIS SUNDAY!!!), but I think the reference is apt. It’s that sort of retro, outdated, misogynistic “marriage is bondage for men” idea. Granted, for some men, marriage is bondage. But it’s bondage for a lot of women too! And why shouldn’t Mark marry Rhea, if that’s what she wanted? For goodness sake. Sometimes I just hate Clooney.

Header image: George Clooney is shown on 4/9/08. Mark Wahlberg is shown on 10/13/08. Credit: PRPhotos. Mark Wahlberg wedding photos are from 8/1/09. Credit:

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45 Responses to “George Clooney’s wedding gift to Mark Wahlberg was douchey”

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  1. Megan says:

    He is so immature, like a 17 year old. Yes George you are still a commitment-phobe and have a new girlfriend every 5 minutes, but not every man is like that. Stop being so pathetic.

  2. Miss Wanderlust says:

    Did anyone expect anything else from Mister Immature ? He is getting a little bit predictable, in return Mark should send him a bottle of Valtrex(medicine for Herpes)everytime he gets a new girlfriend…..Hell Yeah Mark should by a container full of that sh*t !!!
    Marriage is not for everybody but what the hell happened to GC’s marriage that he has to act like a douche after all this time ?

  3. Feebee says:

    Clooney’s an ass.

  4. Ursula says:

    I think it was funny, crude but funny.

  5. Guttersnipey says:

    Gee. Based on the caliber of women George “dates,” I would expect him to have a far more advanced feminist mindset.

    *rolls eyes*

  6. Roma says:

    Way to put in a Mad Men reference Kaiser! I’ve been rewatching the second season, just so I’m prepared for this Sunday.

  7. Racheldesires says:

    ..hahaha, i think that’s hilarious personally

  8. Jaded says:

    Clooney’s infantile, the older he gets the worse he gets. He’s becoming the type of aging lothario that everyone snickers at because he just doesn’t get it. His taste in women is such that if you substituted a blow-up doll, he’d pretty much get the same thrill.

  9. Ben says:

    Call me a misogynist if you like but I think it’s funny.
    For my brothers bachelor party we put a ball and chain on him.

  10. Firestarter says:

    Just shows how classy Clooney is- NOT!

  11. Mommy says:

    I thought it was funny!

  12. ! says:

    How can you mongoloids think its funny? I mean besides the fact that its rude…

    its the oldest joke in the world. If I wasn’t annoyed by its smarminess then I’d be annoyed by its sheer age.

  13. Sudini says:

    ! – I was just saying that in my head when I got to your comment, lol.
    Aside from the fact that its rude and just plain not funny in an “old, completely worn out joke” kind of way (it’s kind of like thinking a pie in the face is funny), it’s a completely misogynistic view of marriage and I can’t stand that. It’s insulting to women as a whole. Anyone who doesn’t at least recognize if for what it is needs to think just a little harder.

  14. Donna says:

    Can anyone say “Rock Hudson” and his publicist marrying to cover Hudson’s homosexuality? Look at the similarities with GC. I think all these ‘girls’ are a cover-up……there, I’ve said it.

  15. spy says:

    He is gay!!!!!!!!!!
    They can show him with as many nakid models as they can but that doesn’t make him straight.

    Anyone who is uncapable of a commited relationship must have some issues.

  16. Megan says:

    I agree Donna, especially for Leo DiCaprio. So effing gay.

  17. wow says:

    Typical George. I can totally see him doing something like this.

    Now if Mark wanted to do pay back, he should send over a Titanic shipload of Valtrex to Clooney. 🙂

  18. annie says:

    So Marks finally manning up after he fathered not1, not2 but three kids?Progress is always a good thing.

  19. Taya says:

    Clooney is just pissed all his guy friends are married and not at his beck and call anymore. Clooney reminds me that weird old male relative. You know the one that is around 50 and dates really young girls, pinches your ass at BBQ’s and always wants you to sit on his lap. He just is getting creepy as he gets older. He could at least start dating women that were born before 1985.

  20. Praise St. Angie! says:

    I don’t know Sudini, I think a pie in the face is ALWAYS funny.

  21. clemmie says:

    “Almost Hubby’s delighted belly-laugh”.

    Both the gift-giver and receiver enjoyed the present which is kinda the whole point, so what if the joke is a little old?!! The concept of the “ball and chain” is hardly a purely misogynistic one either – as the average bride’s one last drunken hen night with whipped cream-covered stripper clearly demonstrates.

    As for George being an immature commitment-phobe, my own father made it to nearly fifty more interested in casual girlfriends and motorbikes. Once he met the right woman he calmed down and they’ve been happily married for 32 years. Mr Clooney may never settle down, but as long as he’s being honest about it, who the heck cares who he dates?

  22. Lila says:

    I’ll never understand the logic of a woman that’s good enough to have children with but not good enough to marry. They are both lifetime commitments.

  23. Nebraska says:

    Clooney should be the new face of Massengill!

  24. susan says:

    why do you think Brangelina refuses to tie the knot? so they won’t get one of these “gift boxes.” and I bet they have nicer handcuffs in their bedside stand.

  25. wif says:

    The gift was to Mark Wahlberg, it arrived before the wedding. He very likely gave them a proper wedding gift as well (that is not reported). It’s a joke between macho friends. This is the way some men show support for one another. I wouldn’t have been offended.

  26. Ron says:

    My fraternity brothers and I gave a ball and chain to one of our brothers and made him wear it the entire night of his bachelor party. I was a 12 lb bowling ball with a heavy chain we had attached to it and was locked to his wrist. I still think it was funny.

  27. vicsmith says:

    What a smug douche.

  28. Guest says:

    Not funny imo as a wedding gift.

  29. Whatever says:

    Why is Mark a bad guy for not making his commitment legal until now? If they are committed to each other then legal papers are not going to keep them in love and willing to fight for their relationship and their kids. The commitment is made before marriage ever takes place or should even be considered. Maybe more people should look at it that way.

  30. Hannah says:

    I totally agree Whatever,

    I think people worry too much about the piece of paper, if it is a commited relationship, the piece of paper doesn’t matter.

    I also hate the , “oh, she is good enough to have his kids but not marry? he is a loser” I mean, who said it was his choice? I think if marriage was something that was really important to her, it would be different, but maybe she was the one holding off, or it simply wasn’t that big of a deal for her. Not all women are dying to get married

  31. hunnybe says:

    @ Whatever I agree with you people believe that you need a contract with the state(piece of paper)to be married,marriage pre-existed marrage licences which were drawn up originally to protect property.Technally whenever you have sex with someone you are married to them by becoming one with them.Did Adam and Eve need a piece of paper for their marriage to be valid in God’s sight?

  32. Ggirl says:

    G. Clooney is such The Narcissistic Ass. Honestly, I don’t see what people find so appealing. I remember after watching the movie he directed, Good Night, and Good Luck a few years ago and then listened to the dvd extras and it had Clooneys voice over commentary. He was so impressed with his own little clever jokes during the commentary that he ruined it. Yes, let’s not focus on wishing the bride and groom well, instead let’s show everyone how funny and clever we are. Such a pr*ck!

  33. princess pea says:

    Where I live the law has it that if you and your child(ren)live with their other biological parent, you are automatically considered ‘common law’ husband and wife. So if Mark lived here, he and his wife would’ve been considered “married” for a long time already. The commitment to each other is more important than the ring or the slip of paper.

  34. sassenach says:

    People are so sensitive. It’s funny. If someone would have given my husband a prank gift like that we would have been laughing hysterically!

  35. sickofit says:

    so not funny! he is FIFTY! whateva happened to growing up decently.

  36. sarah says:

    I don’t like that you’ve written

    “And why shouldn’t Mark marry Rhea, if that’s what she wanted?”

    I don’t think its a case of what SHE wants, its what THEY want, as a couple.

    I think that phrasing only furthers misogynistic assumptions about women and marriage.

  37. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    If it were just done as a gag gift, it’s fine, I guess. More than a little warmed-over, but by this point, so is Clooney. At any rate, maybe there was a ‘real’ gift, but if not, it’s not like they’re hurting for funds or shotgun supplies. Maybe he should’ve sent some prophylactics and a diaphragm.

    If they have a close enough friendship that he’s invited to the wedding, the family likely knows him, and his sense of humour.

    If anything is ‘trapping’ Wahlberg, it’s his ‘can’t-shake-it-off’ erstwhile rap dalliance.

    All told, I see the ‘perpetual bachelor who is so dapper and ankle-deep in the lady love–and is so much FREER than you, SQUARE’ much in the same way as I see the ‘my life is soooooo much more important than yours because I spread ’em and sat on a pillow, Dame Loneliness’ character types. Which is, with an ear to the pounding surf. Anything to drown out the sound of so much self-involved speechifying.

    I think this comment has doubled over and fallen back on me, because I’ve gone from ‘eh,’ to ‘spare us another performance of ‘this is my life philosophy’, let’s re-focus on me’.

    Wait, what?

  38. annie says:

    If it’s just a piece of paper, then why not do it?

  39. For Sooth? says:

    Look, within the brethren, that’s what I’m calling their good ‘ol boy Hollywood man club, this is high jinx and hilarity at it’s best. It seems this is what they all do and it’s expected, excepted and to not reciprocate in kind would probably get one kicked out of the club. Yes, they’re just boys at best, but this is what they allow themselves to do to each other. The women in their lives must have to either go along with it or keep mum on the juvenile behavior.
    All that being said, I actually think it’s funny.

  40. rop says:

    The argument that marriage is only a piece of paper makes sense to people who truly believe and are committed. However, the thought of marriage to Mark may be that he isn’t fully committed until he is to married, hence the ball and chain referrence.

  41. boreduh says:

    People need to lighten up and get a sense of humor. The gift was for his guy friend, not both of them. Hello this is the guy whose bachelor life is portrayed on Entourage. I’m sure his wife could care less and probably laughed tool. These “insiders” are like the tooth fairy. They don’t exist.

  42. light bulb says:

    Not funny, he is just showing what a jerk he is, Clooney and Wahlberg fell out sometime ago and are just acquaintances now, not close friends. how sensitive of him to send a gift like this. Did he even bother to turn up at his own parents 50th wedding anniversary which was last Thursday or was he too busy playing ‘booty” with his latest disposable topless model Italian floozy.

    He has told everyone for years he will never marry again, so what, that’s his choice but it would be nice to show some respect for other peoples choices as well, by sending this gift he is making fun of the fact that two people wish to make a life time commitment and want to get married. Did I hear him making fun of gays wanting to marry, No? I thought not, he actually got on his PR podium and said it was a basic right. For some people his own parents for example marriage is a very important step a vow to honour and love each other. Something George is obviously incapable of. He screwed up his own marriage so he is blaming his own inadequacies on the piece of paper.

  43. sal says:

    Looney Clooney is silly like an air headed bleached blond implants busted female.

  44. Shanny says:

    jUst because Clooney is gayer than gay doesn’t mean other men can’t enjoy being married.
    Maybe one day it will be legal for Clooney to marry his boyfrined so he can quit hiding behind his fake bartender girlfriends and not be jeolous of other people getting married.

  45. ALICE says: