Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk spoke to their ‘intimacy coach’ during the lockdown

Trump Remarks on Second Chance Hiring

I honestly tried to watch this video, but I found Brad Falchuk’s voice so grating, I had to turn it off. Brad Falchuk is perhaps better known as Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow, not to dismiss his own separate career achievements (he’s a writer/producer), but most people do know him as Gwyneth’s husband. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice before now and YIKES. Why was I trying to watch this video? Because Gwyneth and Brad did a video-conference session with an intimacy coach. This is for Goop’s YouTube content, and it has a quarantine theme – basically, Gwyneth and Brad want to know why they (or couple like them) may be struggling with quarantine sex issues. Here’s the video:

Gwyneth spends time asking questions about how to deal with your partner in quarantine while also dealing with your kids, who are constantly around. Some highlights via the Daily Mail:

Gwyneth on quarantine life: “We’re lucky that we have a really solid relationship but we’re also in the house with the kids and it’s pretty close quarters. I think we all feel, especially my teenagers right now, are feeling really pent in. – especially Apple who is a really social creature. We’re really following the strict guidelines so she’s not able to see people she usually sees, so it gets fractious in moments. So there’s definitely tensions in the house, and we have the added dynamic of step-parent, and I think there is quite a lot of stress that comes from trying to recalibrate to this new normal and new level of proximity.’

On intimacy with Brad: “As a couple it’s sort of like, “Where do you go as a couple when you’re all in the house and you’ve got dogs, and work, and work from home”. It’s like, “What are you supposed to do?”‘

On women not feeling sexy during quarantines: Gwyneth asked Michaela what she was telling her clients who were being ‘resistant to intimacy’ during lockdown. Gwyneth added she had ‘a friend’ who wanted her to ask Michaela what to do to cure a feeling of being non-sexual due to anxiety over the coronavirus chaos. The actress said: ‘I had a good friend who follows your work and knows we are going to speak today. She asked me to ask you… she’s having a real hard time feeling sexual and it’s not usually an issue but during this time she’s having really hard time with it. She said a couple of her friends are also having this. What do you recommend for women to get back in touch with their sexuality?’

Michaela said most women are going into survival mode: ‘Most women I’ve talked to are not feeling very sexual… the female body when put under stress goes into survival mode. Food, comfort and eating sweets to up the body fat; most women are reporting these are the things they want to do. They don’t want so much pleasure. Opening to pleasure leads to all others sorts of emotions. It’s fairly normal for women to have emotional response in the context of sexual pleasure and orgasm, crying, even anger things like that.’ She added that in a few weeks ‘boredom will kick in’ and the need to seek pleasure will come back. She advised people to ‘engage with their senses’ and remember to indulge in ‘self care, beauty, which isn’t frivolous at a time like this, dressing in ways that feel particularly good and making the extra effort.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I know this intimacy coach is being paid to tell people really obvious things, but I still found the “survival mode” stuff interesting and probably quite true – it’s obvious that a lot of us are gaining weight right now, because of lack of gym access and complete access to all of our quarantine snacks. But the weight gain is probably an animal response too, that part of our brain which is like “oh no, we need to store up some fat in case our food supply gets cut off in a month.” It’s probably true? As for sexual intimacy… I mean, I go back and forth. I think there are two types of people: people who get horny during quarantine and people who don’t. It just happens. Last thing: Gwyneth’s unnamed “friend” was just Gwyneth talking about herself, right?

Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Falchuk at arrival...

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

74 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Falchuk spoke to their ‘intimacy coach’ during the lockdown”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. LC says:

    “Close quarters”? It is too early for Goop and vagina-scented bullshite… Your mansion is not close-quarters!

    • Lynn says:

      Came here to say just that. Please have a seat Gwennie.

      • Truly! Sit down Gwyneth and just ugh on her whole vibe in this. I’m surprised it doesn’t end with an ad for GOOP sex toys! This is all about Gwyneth — as always. She is the one stressed, feeling caged, dealing with his kids, and being uninterested in sex, but as always with Gwyneth, she tries to make it about it being about someone other than her and she’s just there to help lead and teach. Of course it’s too much close contact with Falchuk and his kids —- didn’t they literally live in separate houses until just a month or so ago? He looks exhausted, by the way. Living with her and all her GOOP-BS 24/7 must be exhausting.

    • StellainNH says:

      LOL, that was my first thought!!

    • My3cents says:

      This. She is not living is some tiny crammed city apartment. I bet she has a nice big yard and a pool and other facilities, please…

    • S says:

      So much this. Maybe it’s just personal bias, but even if some of this is relatable, I stillI find them so much more exhausting than Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. I’m not staying I stan the latter couple either, but Gwyneth has just become nails on a chalkboard for me thanks to her pseudo-science money grab “health” empire based entirely on bullshit.

  2. lucy2 says:

    Oh no, everyone only gets 1 wing of the house to themselves! Sob.

    LOL at her literally “asking for a friend”.
    His voice is a little odd. He kind of looks like a guy who would swindle widows at a tropical resort…

  3. lowercaselila says:

    So Gwenyth and Brad have only been in quarantine maybe 2 weeks now , the way Gwenyth is asking the intimacy coach questions , it’s like she has been self isolating for a year now. Also, no thanks I don’t want to hear about their issues.


    Did anyone see those guidelines from the Malaysian government telling women to wear makeup and tight clothes during the coronavirus with that infographic? It was disturbing. I thought it was a joke but I saw it on NPR. The Ministry for Women, Family, and Community Development released it. Malaysian women—and no women— should have to feel/act/look sexy right now.

    • Seraphina B says:

      Thank you for mentioning this. I saw this a few days ago and I couldn’t believe it really happened! It made me so furious to see how such a backwards mentality can still exist and how they weren’t afraid of going public with this message. Who the hell green lit this campaign? Utterly Shameful…

      • L says:

        Ever been to Malaysia? I went last year and I’ll never go again.

        Taxi drivers won’t speak to you. If you pay for something the cashier will hand the change to your male companion. Men will stare at you with disgust, even when you’re fully covered. The concierge will refuse to interact with you.

        The sexism there is different to western sexism. It’s borne out of pure hatred rather than the desire to sleep with you. I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life. I kept thinking that if something happened, like a car accident, they’d rush my partner to hospital and leave me there to die. For real.

      • Navy says:

        Well, there was such an outcry as soon as the ad was released. The ministry apologized ( and the leader has been known to make problematic remarks )

        Responding to L, you are literally the ONLY person in the world who experience this. ( I know because I work in travel industry ).

    • Chanteloup says:

      Saddest part is, I would be horrified but not shocked to find a message like this coming from our own pseudo leader

  5. Anabe says:

    Frankly, I would have to speak to a therapist after an hour of self quarantine with either of them, especially her. They both seem unbearably pretentious. There really os a cover for every pot!

    • Chanteloup says:

      hahaha Co-sign this exactly! I would not trade my tiny, cramped poor space with their mansion if I ever had to encounter either of them there, lol

    • Trashaddict says:

      Next step – ahem – defecation coach.

  6. bridget says:

    Wow, he really does have a terrible voice.

    • elle says:

      I don’t mind his voice as much as how it comes out of his face, with every syllable squozen for maximum pretentiousness. And the “deep thoughts” face Gwyneth makes while he’s talking… oh, it is to laugh.

    • K says:

      I’ve always found it really difficult to listen to her. She’s got such a nasal, whiny, bored tone of voice that I can’t stand. His voice isn’t pleasant either, but whatever, he doesn’t usually work in front of the lens.

      • Pepper says:

        @K agree about her voice. Not like the silky smooth tones of actresses of yesteryears.

  7. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Intimacy coach. You mean a fluffer? Of course Gwynnie needs a fluffer.

  8. Franklymydear... says:

    I’m just here to say…of COURSE that’s their “intimacy” therapist. I’m sure she’s a lovely human being, but she looks and sounds exactly like I imagine a sex therapist would. Kind of sultry, kind of sexy, like maybe she pushes partners out of the way and says, “Here, let me show you how…” lol

  9. Polyanna says:

    Where do you go for intimacy? Uh…. your bedroom? I don’t even get this at all. Go to your bedroom with your husband like all the peasants do, Goopy.

    Also, stress is different for everyone, man or woman. I’m having a huge amount of trouble eating, which is totally unusual for my overweight ass. I’m usually a stress eater but now I get light headed every single day because I can’t eat, and I have to sit down and force some bites down when I feel lightheaded.

    Sex is also different for everyone. She’s just so condescending, acting like her reactions to stress are THE reactions to stress. Does this bish have a personality disorder? lol rich ass celebrities are not the ones that people are looking to for advice and solace at a time like this.

    • Andrew’s Nemesis says:

      @Polyanna Do take care of yourself – it’s worrying to hear that you’re lightheaded from nutrition deprivation… perhaps protein powder and berry shakes made with milk, soy or oat, or frozen yogurt might be good to blend up and keep in the fridge?

  10. Deanne says:

    His voice is very grating. David Beckham’s voice threw me for a loop the first time that I heard it, but I think that Brad’s is much worse. The level of tone deafness from these celebrity mansion dwellers is really starting to anger me. They are living in huge homes, many on estates with plenty of room to roam in their outdoor spaces, tennis courts, theatre rooms, huge pools etc. They are so privileged and yet seem to be the biggest whiners about the situation and completely disengaged from the severely difficult realities that other people are facing.

  11. Sean says:

    I was ready to make fun of this, thinking we’d get a ridiculous Goopy phrase like “conscious intimacy” or something like that.

    However, I too found the insights interesting as well as relatable. Since going into quarantine and watching events unfold, while I’m not freaking out I do have a heightened sense of anxiety. My libido is almost nonexistent and though I’m still exercising as well as mainly sticking to my diet, I do find I’m allowing myself to be a bit more relaxed with these aspects. I’ve eaten a quart of ice cream over the last several days and I obliged a craving for a bacon, egg and cheese wrap I had two days ago. They closed the liquor stores weeks ago. While I’m not a frequent drinker, I bought two big bottles of rum to hold me over. However, I’ve already gone through one bottle and I’m 1/3 into the second bottle.

    So yeah, I could relate.

    • Andrew’s Nemesis says:

      I’m a third of the way through the bottle of Baileys I opened this lunchtime. This. Never. Happens; as I’m terrified of hangovers. Still – hic!

    • Nicole Padilla says:

      Same here! I was rolling my eyes at the headline, but after reading the article, suddenly my behavior the past week makes sense. I have no desire to eat meat, but I can’t stop myself from loading up on carb, comfort foods. I figured it had something to do with my anxiety, but now I understand why I’m making the food choices that I am. I don’t usually turn my nose up to chicken breast, especially on the days my husband offers to cook, but I just couldn’t stomach it last night and ended up eating the sides.

      • Sean says:

        Andrew’s Nemesis and Nicole Padilla, glad I’m not alone.

        Also, does anyone else find themselves doing more online shopping than they normally do? I’m not talking about ordering essentials like groceries but items you want but put off because owning them wasn’t important at the moment. Over the last two weeks, I’ve ordered several books, DVDs and shirts I’ve wanted but put on the back burner as owning them right now wasn’t essential. However, since the quarantine, not just ordering them but actually owning these items just brings me joy. Plus, they provide welcome distractions.

      • Golly Gee says:

        @sean. yup to the online shopping. It’s like comfort eating.

    • Jaded says:

      Mr. Jaded and I are consuming gallons of wine and frankly it’s the only way we can get through the news at night. I’m half sloshed and make a really yummy dinner – cooking is comforting to me – then we watch something funny on TV. Last night it was A Shot in the Dark with Peter Sellers, the night before The Commitments”. We need to laugh. We also work out at home, we’ve got lots of equipment and YouTube has some great videos. As for being “intimate”, it happens with the same frequency as before so I don’t think we need an “intimacy coach”, we just behave like normal adults getting through a tough time. It’s not hard Gwynnie…

  12. T says:

    They are both so pretentious and cringey.

  13. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    It must be exhausting to live inside Gwyneth’s head, let alone WITH her. Any mansion would seem small when its main inhabitant is an enormous ego.

    • ➕💯 Andrew’s Nemesis. I love Blythe Danner and I loved Gwyneth as an actor in movies like Flesh and Bone, Bounce, The Talented Mr Ripley, The Perfect Murder, Possession, Sliding Doors, Emma, Shakespeare in Love, and Duets….I so don’t get how she has grown into this self-aggrandizing, elitist snake oil saleswoman.

  14. Kezia says:

    Great. Now they’ve ruined Tracey Emin neon signs for me from that screengrab of their session (not that I could ever afford one, of course) but I LOVED them.
    Damn, I had to click into this article!

  15. Hyrule Castle says:

    Of course she is talking about herself.

    Gwen ALWAYS is talking about herself 🙄

  16. Ali says:

    Am I the only one looking online for a new vibrator seeing we don’t really how long this may last? Is that type of self-care essential?

  17. JennyJenny says:

    I was enjoying the interesting art behind the therapist… seems quite phallic!

  18. Elizabeth says:

    We put so much pressure on ourselves. Women don’t have to be sexual or anything they’re not feeling. The idea that women have to be constantly sexually ready for their husbands or partners is so destructive. There’s probably a good reason you don’t want to have sex if you’re terrified for your life in the middle of a pandemic being epically mishandled by our asinine clown president. On the other hand, sex can be comforting and stress-relieving, I just hate to see women thinking they have to be one thing or another and contorting themselves into someone else’s idea of what a woman should be. Life is too short!!

  19. Jayna says:

    Her Santa Barbara estate is on 2.5 acres. I assume it’s been renovated by now and moved into. And she bought the smaller home next door, I believe, at the same time, in 2016.

    His kids do not live there full time.

    There’s plenty of room inside and outside.

  20. Liz version 700 says:

    Of course she uses a shrink who calls an themselves an Intimacy coach…of course. I have to wonder though if this keeps up through June if a lot of counselors will be doing Zoom therapy sessions. My anxiety is off the charts right now.

    • lucy2 says:

      A lot of them are, and there are resources out there if anyone needs help.

      My anxiety has been high too. Mine is usually health related, but even though I’m ok (except for horrid allergies right now) the beginning of this week was pretty rough. Hang in there.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        Thanks Lucy2! I will check it out. I just saw a survey in the Washington Post that 50% of people in a survey said the Pandemic has had a negative effect on their mental health. We are not alone for sure

  21. Doodle says:

    I Know she was an intimacy coach, but I wish she would have addressed adjusting the lens through which we look. For example, this quarantine is forcing my husband and I to spend more time together than we have in years and sometimes that’s rough but in a way we are “dating” again, after 13 years of marriage. Once the kids go to bed we go on movie dates where I get dressed up and he opens a bottle of wine. We never would have done that otherwise. I wish the coach would have mentioned that sort of thing because yes, we are living in a hellstorm and yes times are scary and yes I could deep dive into my own anxiety but a good partner will help lift you out of it and keep you steady. Actually, doing so help builds more intimacy, maybe not physical but definitely emotional.

  22. 123 says:

    Oh noes….. “consciously uncoupling”.

  23. Fleur says:

    That’s not at all the voice I expected to come out of him. I still find him attractive physically. For Gwyneth- I find her over the top, but I still enjoyed listening to this therapist woman. She was measured and intelligent and I won’t discredit her – intimacy is devalued as a ‘woman’s domain’, I think the therapist’s words were valuable

    • I agree Fleur. I find him attractive, but don’t get him and Gwyneth together. He must be a real wimp. As to the therapist —- If only Gwyneth would have just introduced her and then totally took herself out of the recording it would have been terrific.

  24. Kate says:

    I don’t think his voice is weird or bad but I have no idea wth he is talking about with “the world contextualizes your partner for you to make them seem more interesting.” That also seems…very specific for celebrities?

    I thought the therapist’s thoughts were interesting about how people react to stress differently and that we should assume we’re all having some kind of stress response right now and to adjust our expectations. It’s obvious but also still good to hear said out loud.

  25. Geeena says:

    Actually find the comments from the shrink on ‘survival mode’ and women’s bodies really condescending and stereotypical.

    What is her basis that women subconsciously seek fattening foods in times of survival? What happens to men’s bodies under this model?

    People, male and female, are eating sh!tty food because we are bored and stuck inside and scared (and sh!tty food is delicious) ffs.

  26. PineNut says:

    I am so tired of the milkmaid hair.

  27. Texas says:

    I didn’t hate this surprisingly. I have been really sensitive to external stimulation. Noise, my husband, the dogs barking. Just anything. And I have to do a lot of zoom meetings for work which takes all of my energy And afterwards I just want to be alone. The next minute, I’m missing everyone. It’s a rollercoaster.

    I have to say I’ve been gaining weight and feeling really unsexy and unattractive. Yesterday I put makeup on and fixed my hair for the FIRST time and I felt so much better. I may do it again in a week! Maybe. 😂😂🤪

  28. Allergy says:

    Omg he looks like a hostage.

  29. Abby says:

    This is so grotesque to me. She has so many elitest problems even on a good day – which cleanse to start, how to best starve herself, which outrageously priced luxury item to feature on goop – and now even in quarantine there is no levity. The peasants are dealing with unemployment, panic buying resulting in good shortages that leave everyone who doesn’t have extra money potentially without enough supplies, less access to medical care, children stuck with abusive parents 24/7, etc. Gywneth can shop online all day, order whatever doomsday supplies they need without leaving the house, call her doctor up and immediately get a test and priority hospitalization all because of her status and privilege. Yet she and her “friends” are most concerned about not feeling SEXUAL enough? And feeling cramped in their 10k sq ft homes with pools, movie theaters, etc????? STFUUUUUUUUU, Gwyneth.

  30. Jana says:

    Close quarters?? No honey, close quarters is a 300 sf apartment, and you both are in college, working part time jobs and swimming in debt. That’s how my husband and I started out, and we sure as hell didn’t need an “intimacy coach” barely two years in…this coach should have just called time of death on your relationship and kicked you both out the door.

  31. L says:

    He is really good looking, I see nothing wrong with his voice.

    However wtf is up with his first question? If U need the world to contextualise your partner for you, how well can you know them?

  32. clairej says:

    I think Brad is so mega talented and am rare in that I have a soft spot for Gwyneth.

  33. severine says:

    What is with G pursing her lips all the time? One minute was enough of this crap. Intimacy? How about privacy?

  34. Frankie955 says:

    Holy fuck. First world problems. Go take a ride on the douche canoe.

  35. Summer says:

    Well, I think out of all this, we are going to find out who truly likes one another and who does not.

  36. Nibbi says:

    I think it’s perfectly alright and not a damn problem for women not to feel sexual whenever they damn well please. As the good (doctor? therapist? guru?…) says, in this context it’s totally normal and probably biological… as if women should need an “excuse,” though.
    This is hard for everybody and the men/ sexual partners should have to bloody well take it in stride, and not put more pressure on the women, who I’d imagine are still, still generally handling more of the childcare stuff/ homeschooling/ cooking/ cleaning while more often than not still working from home. I still think the ol’ “she doesn’t want to have sex bc she’s bloody exhausted” thing is probably just exacerbated during this particularly weird time.

    Also, wth is this “contextualizing your partner” even mean?
    Like, you don’t know them or feel as attracted to them because you’re reliant on other people’s perceptions to reinforce their value in their eyes? It’s perhaps me, I couldn’t make it through the whole video to find out. Her/their smugly pseudo-intellectual invented terminology gets on my nerves, too. Nothing will ever top “conscious uncoupling,” though.