In 2015, one of the funniest/dumbest gossip stories was Ben Affleck & The Nanny, and as a side-story, there was “Tom Brady & Ben Affleck brought Ben’s hot nanny to Las Vegas for a gambling weekend.” It was all a bad look for two married men, especially when that photo of Nanny Chrissy O wearing Tom’s Super Bowl rings came out. Good times, fun gossip. Immediately following all of those revelations, of course Ben and Jennifer Garner’s marriage was in shambles, but people forget that there was A LOT of gossip about how Tom’s marriage to Gisele Bundchen was also quite rocky then too. For months following the nanny revelations, there were widespread reports that Gisele had consulted a divorce lawyer, and that she and Tom hit a real rough patch. They came out of it okay in the end, and if anything, they’ve seemed especially strong in recent years. Now, in a new interview with Howard Stern, Tom Brady says that Gisele made him change his approach to their marriage in 2017 and he’s been happier ever since:
Tom Brady cautioned listeners Wednesday not to judge a book by its cover, especially when said cover is wife Gisele Bündchen. When asked about his relationship with the Brazilian-born model, Brady told Howard Stern during his SiriusXM interview his spouse of 11 years is “different” than what the public perceives.
“She’s probably very different than how people would probably see her, what’s been portrayed as a fashion model,” Brady said, noting the 39-year-old stunner is a very “spiritual woman.” Bündchen, who practices meditation, “believes in trying to heal herself,” according to Brady. And while the couple emulates the idea of a picture-perfect unit — which includes Brady’s son Jack with ex Bridget Moynahan, in addition to their two kids: daughter Vivian and son Benjamin — like most marriages, theirs has also evolved.
“There was a couple years ago, she didn’t feel I was doing my part for the family,” Brady said. “She felt like I would play football all season and she would take care of the house, and then all the sudden when the season would end, that I’d be like, ‘Great, let me get into all my other business activities. Let me get into my football training.’ And she’s sitting there going, ‘Well, when are you going to do things for the house? When are you going to take the kids to school and do that?’”
“She wasn’t satisfied with our marriage, and I needed to make a change in that … Her point was, ‘Of course this works for you…but it doesn’t work for me,’” Tom said. “I had to check myself. Because she was like ‘I have my goals and dreams, too.’” That included skipping OTA practices with the Patriots that pepper the latter parts of the offseason. “She wasn’t satisfied with our marriage,” Brady said. “So I needed to make a change in that.”
Brady also revealed Bündchen wrote him a “heartfelt” letter that he still has, a reminder for him that life is ever-evolving. “What worked for us 10 years ago won’t work for us forever,” he said. “We’re growing in different ways.”
My guess is that there was a rough patch from 2015-17 where they were unhappy and sort of living separate lives, and Gisele basically gave Tom an ultimatum: change or we’re done, because I can’t continue to live like this. I respect Gisele for communicating with him like this, because that’s what finally got through – he has likely been ignoring her unhappiness for a while because he was, as he said, so busy with everything else. Gisele will not be ignored, Tom! No, whatever, props to them. Marriage is f–king hard. I couldn’t do it.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Wow, her face looks especially jacked in that last photo!
Yep but she’s ‘naturally’ like that according to her
I had the same reaction to that last photo.
well, I never would have married Tom
Ugh I hate when men don’t help but I also think ultimatums are icky and manipulative. It’s too bad they weren’t communicating better from the start, but I’m glad they’re working on it.
He didn’t say she gave him an ultimatum. This writer framed it that way. He said Gisele told him how things were for her, that it didn’t work for her, and he listened and they negotiated change. He may be a meathead but if he listened and changed, that’s emotionally smart.
Also, some men ignore women’s complaints (often expressed kindly and fairly) until women feel they have no choice but to escalate. That is why so many men seem surprised when women want out.
@WATP “Also, some men ignore women’s complaints (often expressed kindly and fairly) until women feel they have no choice but to escalate. That is why so many men seem surprised when women want out.”
This is an excellent point. I have had that exact situation happen to me. You can tell them nicely and with kindness over and over and they just do not hear you. Then when you hit the wall and you are a raving lunatic, they are shocked and say “why didn’t you TELL me?”
An ultimatum is only icky when you’re using it as a tool. If it’s an honest statement of, “We *can* save this relationship, but we’re really on thin ice here and you have to know that if this change doesn’t work, then I need to move on,” then that’s just clear communication. It has to come from a place of genuinely wanting to fix things together, but also making your boundaries clear.
Who are these people and M, agree completely!
It’s never a good sign when one partner outs the other. He could have phrased the same info in so many different ways that didn’t make it look like she was making a demand on him. I don’t know, I always think it’s the beginning of the end when couples all of a sudden offer insight into their struggles. The best relationships seem to be the ones where the two people in keep their business sewed up tight.
I don’t think ultimatums are at all manipulative. I think you give someone an ultimatum when you are outlining exactly what you will or will not accept; you’re defining your needsand expectations, and the other person can choose his/her next step. I wanted to get married, my boyfriend hadn’t proposed after 3 years. I didn’t rant or rave, but I knew I wanted marriage, and after 3 years he certainly knew me well enough, so I felt very at peace saying marriage or break-up. We’ve been married almost 40 years, and I’m always so sad seeing someone who wants marriage stick with someone for 10 years who doesn’t want to commit. ANYWAY, I think stating exactly what you will or won’t accept is the furthest thing from playing games or trying underhanded means.
So, what he means is … he changed himself, and she changed her face. Ok, got it.
LOL!!
Tom looks like a sullen Frankenstein…and G looks like a tranny. Why do beautiful women mess with their faces?
Fake happy rich folks trying to stay relevant during a pandemic. Nobody cares.
Once he retires, this marriage won’t last long.
Oohh I wonder if this just happen
Gisele loves attention and being with a winner. She won’t just live a quiet life in retirement with him. I also think her big issue with Tom simply being around the nanny and the rings picture insinuating they’d been flirting-gisele wouldn’t understand why any man would be with someone else who wasn’t a top supermodel like her. Certainly not a normal person a nanny
I mean you can never know what someone else’s relationship is like, but Tom spends an INSANE amount of time training. I say this as a NE fan. I mean, even in the off-season, he watches game film all day and trains with his trainer and his throwing coach. Plus he has spent the last 5 years building his brand and company.
Say what you will about Gisele, and I know they probably have lots of help around the house but she seems to be a very involved mom and step-mom. She is often seen taking the kids to practice, out with the kids, on her instagram making vegan meals for them. And she also has a big career. I can imagine it was probably frustrating and lonely feeling that your partner is not there for you and you are doing most of the emotional labour in the family. The Ben Affleck nanny thing probably didn’t help.
Good for her for standing up for herself and good for him for making changes. Who knows if their marriage will last post his career but both of them come from very large happy families so I could see them continuing to make it work.
Oh Meg, just Wow.
As far as I understand, she’s been wanting him to ease down and retire die to injuries he already has and the type of sport he plays, where he is the main target.
He is the one not letting go, his choice, which she has endured, so it if fair that she asks him to be more involved. After he retires, things will change, but it seems tbat it is something that Gisele has actually wanted for sometime. He does not need to probe anything to anyone.
And I acknowledge that she can be smug and too much, (especially birth-wise) but she is not THAT bad. She has good points about her, being a career woman and an involved mom, she really tries.
I’m with Ennie, 100%.
She faintly resembles Gigi Hadid in the last picture.
I think she looks more like Bella actually? With Gigi’s coloring.
Marriage doesn’t have to be hard work, but it took me until my 40s to learn this. My first marriage was indeed hard work, but then, everybody tells you it’s not easy, so you think that’s the way it is. The first year was really hard , but again,lots of people told me that would be the case, so I resigned myself and put in the work.
Anyway, after I left him, I said I would never marry again. And then I met my current husband, and I realised that when you’re with the right person, marriage is easy. We love spending time together and right now we’re in lockdown and loving it. There’s nobody else I’d rather spend the apocalypse with, I can tell you that.
@ Ines. Beautifully said. Thanks.
I agree! I’ve been married for 30+ years and it’s been wonderful. Glad you found your soul mate too.
Sometimes men, being happily married, just go about their lives, thinking all is fine at home. They feel they’re contributing to the household by making money, being faithful, etc. They forget that their partner needs attention, too, or their kids need attention. They forget that their wives want husbands and they have wants and needs, too, that they want to fulfill. Congrats to her for speaking up and giving him an ultimatum. I’m sure she supports him 100% with his career, plus she does most of the childcare and guidance to the children. Women often do so many other jobs, yet are never given enough credit.
Thank you, Ines. I didn’t marry until I was 40, but my husband was my soul mate and marriage was easy. Thank god we were both able to retire really early and spend almost all of our time together. Since I lost him to cancer 6+ years ago, I have had no desire whatsoever to look for another relationship. That one was perfect, so I’ve put a pin in it. Lockdown would be so fun if he were with me, but I have my dog and a fully stocked liquor cabinet. That will have to do.
C-Shell I’m so sorry you lost your wonderful husband. I know I’d feel the same way if I lost Mr. Jaded. But you sound like a strong, capable woman, and a dog (or cat in my case) and lots of wine will help get you through. Hugs…
C-shell my heart goes out to you, I can’t even imagine how I would manage a loss like that. A dog and a stocked liquor cabinet do sound like a good “plan B” though, hehe. Sending you a hug.
❤️🍸
My friend actually said that once to me – she and her husband have been together since she was nineteen, and they have one of the most relaxed dynamics I’ve seen. She grew up watching her mother unhappy in and had quietly made a vow she’d never marry a man like that and, well, kept to her promise. Arguments are fine occasionally, we all have them, but people really need to examine what’s really going on if they’re constant and undermining any happiness in the relationship. A good, strong marriage is built on friendship. Even once the shine has worn off, that should continue holding true.
@Ines @Veronica @Jaded @Vava thank you all for sharing your experiences! @C-shell thank you so much for sharing, sounds like you and your husband had a wonderful relationship and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your stories have been very touching to read. It’s been a while since I was have been in a committed relationship and for a long time I wasn’t ready to jump back into one so kept things casual. Now that I’m ready for something serious and committed and wanting to get out there current circumstances won’t allow for that; even prior to COVID-19 dating in NYC has been exceptionally difficult. I’m 28 and it feels kind of hopeless!
Most of my friends are coupled up with really lovely wonderful people and riding this whole quarantine situation out with their partners, I have my amazing dog and am quarantined with my mother, perusing dating apps out of boredom and it’s been mostly a horror show.
In February I expressed to my best friend that I was so ready for a partner but was/am afraid it will never happen to me. She replied that she thinks it will, and that one of the things she’s always admired me for is that I don’t settle and that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than the love I deserve. While that was encouraging the more time I reflect on the situation the more it becomes apparent to me that modern dating/romance really doesn’t typically allow for the experiences that you all have had – these really fulfilling, meaningful, equal relationships with partners. It could be that I’m feeling particularly glum because the world is a literal germ pit/dumpster fire these days, I just hope that one day I have someone that I will speak of so highly and think of so fondly.
Stream of consciousness over and out haha
@Hotsauceinmybag. I felt like giving up at 29 and going thru a divorce. Then my husband of 29 years happened to find. He simply refused to believe I would not go out with him. After hours of needing to talk he was there (we worked together but in a couple of different buildings) listening to me talk about getting a divorce. He grew on me. Marriage can be easy or hard. It is what you make it, if you have the right partner for you. The reason why we work is we do not try to change each other. I have had the freedom to be me and vice versa. We accept each other as we are the totally flawed packages (we are).
Be you. Live your life. Learn new things. You will attract a like partner (maybe in a scuba lesson or at someone’s wedding (after COVID-19), etc. It will happen for you. In the meantime, you are evolving and growing.
@dj I love this. Thank you for the kind words. I feel guilty thinking about things like this during this time but isolation is… isolating. It’s easy to get into your head about lots of stuff! Wishing you and my fellow celebitchies health and comfort during this crazy time.
The more she messes with her face the more she and Tom look like siblings.
I like that he shared this!
It’s nice that he is talking publicly about the need to listen to his wife’s concerns about his behavior and work on their marriage. I sort of picture a lot of football fans are the kind of macho men that would complain to their buddies that the ol ball and chain is b***hing at them.
I see it this way too. He’s secure enough to talk about it.
Agreed. Few men would admit any of this and it did it while being interviewed by another guy, not in an interview for a women’s magazine
I agree, if you actually read what he says and his attitude toward it all, it is very mature and responsible.
I agree. I find them both pretty annoying, but I actually respect both of them in this situation. She wasn’t happy and felt burdened, expressed herself, and he listened and took action. Good for them.
These too by far are not my favorites, but this story makes me respect them both more.
I love that he put it out there. A lot of guys balk at marriage counseling and hearing that Tom Brady has gone will possibly inspire them to actually listen to their wife’s concerns and go as well.
I have no love for this guy, but it’s great that he listened to his wife’s concerns and worked on himself to help their marriage. Unfortunately, we live in a society where many men are not raised seeing examples of a marriage is a partnership in which both people handle responsibilities and lean on each other for help. I think that will be way better for future generations, but some guys still need to hear it to get it. Good for him for working on it.
A lot of men feel a they have more of a right to their time and space than their wives. It’s a sense of entitlement that is instilled in men at a young age. Men are socialized to be independent and women to be more nurturing. Dividing up household labour can be a constant negotiation in any marriage. Speaking from experience here! Good for her for speaking up. She has a right to her life without her kids too. Tom seems like a real douche but I guess he gets a small cookie for realizing this kind of scenario is not what equality looks like. Even if she had to threaten to leave him before he got the message.
lol a small cookie!!!
I can’t believe nannygate was 5 years ago.
Came here to say that!!! 5 YEARS!!
I wonder if he’d bother to make a change if she weren’t “an incredibly hot supermodel.” Naturally, he wouldn’t be with her if she weren’t, but still… Glad he made a change to satisfy her. Wish more men would do this and speak about it.
Good on him for listening to Gisele. Let’s be honest, there are a lot of men who wouldn’t have listened and changed. I wondered if their marriage was going to last when he decided to not to retire a few years back. He seems fine in the off season, but appears to be somewhat of a supreme ass during the season. Every loss is personal for him. I guess that’s the measure of an athlete. He just seems so stuck on Tom Terrific that any chinks in that armor would make him hard to live with.
True, at least he listened and changed. I don’t mind ultimatums-especially when there’s a dramatic power imbalance built into the relationship and the spouse feels like he either changes or she leaves. Those thoughts need to be communicated, not danced around. Frankly, I know a lot of women who endure unhappy marriages because the husband takes zero accountability and puts very little effort into the children, the household, their relationship. It creates a lot of anger and resentment which translates into hostile behavior, especially if those feelings never get aired. A lot of marriages turn toxic because of the ‘he doesn’t meet my needs’/‘she’s angry all the time’ dynamic.
I couldn’t get past the sentence, “She was taking care of the house.” 😆
I’m not a Tom Brady fan by any means but I begrudgingly give him props here. Football is a pretty macho environment and for him to come out and talk openly about respecting his wife’s feelings and changing to accommodate her needs is quite evolved. Too many men still have the sense of entitlement that they should be able to do what they want while their wives keep everything together at home without any care about what parts of ourselves we may be sacrificing for our families. Maybe, just maybe some man will read this and see himself reflected in Tom’s situation and realize he needs to change.
Agreed, props to him. That being said a lot of women also have low self-esteem without realizing it. so they just accept the traditional role of women as non-paid housekeepers while their husband or bf gets to live his life to the fullest.
As much as I sideeye these two on a lot of things, this sounds like a pretty typical wall a lot of heterosexual couples run into in patriarchal cultures because of the skewed perspective on who makes compromises within a marriage. That indoctrinated sense of selfishness and self importance can be really hard for men to break out of (I’ve seen it blow up marriages among my friends), so I’ll begrudgingly give him credit for realizing that’s something that needed to change AND openly talking about in a forum he knew would be male dominated.
I find them annoying but I do respect them for being honest. Long term relationships are going to hit rough patches here and there and if they put in the work to fix things then good for them. I can’t imagine having that kind of fame and money and have people throwing themselves at you constantly (for both Giselle and Tom). I always wonder what kind of trust issues fame and money bring into these marriages. I’m a millennial and social media has complicated relationships so much for my generation (like what kind of communication is ok, what crosses boundaries, what’s cheating or being shady, etc). Being famous and/or being super rich seems like it would make these types of issues way worse.
It’s really tough to come out and admit you’ve f*cked up in a relationship, especially for men, so he gets a pass. He may be a bit of a lunkhead but seems willing to do some self-examination and correct his trajectory for the sake of having a happy marriage.
This is one couple I never understood like what do they in common apart from their love of spotlight? Back when NannyGate happened I expected them to get divorced but looks like there’s still time for it. Like someone above said, Gisele is gonna call it quits when he gets retired, his status and their power couple image is definitely important part of their marriage.
Please. Tom Brady isn’t going to disappear into the backwoods when he retires. He has all kinds of business and entertainment projects in the works, and will continue to be very high profile. What would she gain by divorcing him? Not only would she lose status, but also a pile of money since she’s worth even more than he is. She wants the happy family image, she’s not going anywhere unless he really screws up.
One of the world’s top supermodels is not going to lose her status over a divorce.
Whatever work she has had done on her face has aged her. She used to have much softer features. Why did she have to mess with that.
Or. . . Maybe she’s just aged?
for real
Who’s better Tom or Leo?
I think her face has accidentally morphed into looking like Bridget Moynihan’s
I like them both and thought it was pretty brave to share it.
Agreed, props to him. That being said a lot of women also have low self-esteem without realizing it. so they just accept the traditional role of women as non-paid housekeepers while their husband or bf gets to live his life to the fullest.
I’ve been with assholes but I also know I wasn’t in a good headspace and was struggling with self-esteem issues that stemmed from deep-seated trauma. So I just thought I would sacrifice myself bc I didn’t value myself enough. I got out of that phase, but there are women who think that way during their entire life.
There is a lot of talk about men not having enough emotional clarity or intelligence but the same can be said about a lot of women. I see it around me.
Men shouldn’t be congratulated for respecting their wives if we think about it…
Personally I’m not congratulating him for respecting his wife, but for saying it in an interview and possibly inspiring others to do the same.
Honestly after all of the stories that get posted about Kristen Bell’s and Dax Shepard’s very exhausting marriage, it’s refreshing to hear something that actually models fairly healthy behavior in a relationship. Seriously, I know it’s off topic, but Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard need a reality check that what they see as cute, relatable stories about marriage are bonkers and should not be interpreted by anyone as relationship goals.