Demi Lovato: ‘I wish I could say, ‘I only date attractive people.’ But I don’t’

Former US President Barack Obama in Berlin

Just FYI, if you’re feeling a bit fragile and/or you want to change up your look, I cannot recommend this horrible eye makeup seen here on Demi Lovato’s Harper’s Bazaar cover. Holy yikes is that terrible makeup! It makes her look jaundiced. As with so many magazine cover stories for the May issues, the bulk of Demi’s Bazaar interview was conducted pre-lockdown, and then they just contacted her for a few updated lockdown quotes. Demi relapsed in 2018, and she spent much of 2019 doing the work to get herself clean and healthy again. She talks to Bazaar about the relapse and her mental health and a bunch of other stuff – you can read the piece here. Some highlights:

On the lockdown: “There are so many people alone with their thoughts right now. Some people are home alone or don’t have family or pets; they only have their minds and their thoughts. We have to learn to quiet our thoughts with things like meditation, checking in with friends, or finding things that will help you grow emotionally and spiritually.”

On the supportive messages she received when hospitalized in 2018: “It’s hard when you’re in a moment like that because you don’t feel worthy of it. But looking back, I understand that I was just someone going through something, and people were really supportive and were there for me, and it meant everything…It also kind of made it a little challenging because I did deal with that in the public eye—that was the way some people found out. I had relatives who got alerts on their phones. We didn’t even get to call them before they saw what happened.”

On her ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama: “I’m really happy for him and I wish him nothing but the best, but we’re not in each other’s lives, haven’t spoken in a long time. But I think I needed that because I needed to learn to be okay on my own. When you get into a relationship with somebody at that young of an age and then you spend six years with somebody, you don’t really get to learn about yourself.”

On settling down with someone someday: “When I imagine my life in the future, I don’t say, ‘I’m looking for a man who I want to have two or three kids with.’ I think it could be so much fun to share children with a woman … So I don’t know what my future will look like, and I’m open to anything. People always ask me, ‘What’s your type?’ And I’m like, ‘Have you seen my history?’ There is no type. It is solely off connection. I wish I could say, ‘I only date attractive people.’ But I don’t.”

On who she still stays in touch with from her Disney days: “I talk to Miley [Cyrus]. She’s awesome, and I love her to death and always will, always have. But I think she’s kind of the only one from that era that I still stay in touch with.”

On her friendship with fellow artist Ariana Grande: “I love the fact that Ariana and I have such a supportive friendship because it’s hard to find. Two women who are in a competitive industry—the whole world seems to want to pit women against each other, so it would be so easy to do that.”

On Selena Gomez sending her a message of support at the Grammys: “When you grow up with somebody, you’re always going to have love for them. But I’m not friends with her, so it felt …” Lovato stops herself. “I will always have love for her, and I wish everybody nothing but the best.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Was that Selena Gomez thing shady? I would actually love to have an off-the-record gossip session with Demi. I feel like she knows where the Disney bodies are buried, she’s done drugs with everybody AND she has a half-way decent read on who is fake-ass-fake. My gossip-radar pinged when she stopped herself from saying some sh-t about Selena. Also, I laughed at “I wish I could say, ‘I only date attractive people.’ But I don’t.” I’m glad she’s totally over Wilmer too, he is gross and their relationship was not great or healthy.


Covers/photos courtesy of Alexi Lubomirski for Harper’s Bazaar, sent from promotional Bazaar email.

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67 Responses to “Demi Lovato: ‘I wish I could say, ‘I only date attractive people.’ But I don’t’”

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  1. Hikaru says:

    I am too blinded by the lip filler to focus on the make up. To be fair, the colour editing is all messed up, perhaps it looked better in person?

  2. girl_ninja says:

    I’m not a fan of hers at all. I think she has a powerful singing voice and she’s been through a lot in her young life. I do think she is incredibly arrogant and self righteous.

    I recall that when Kesha was in court regarding that rapist producer trashbag many women in the industry showed support. In the form of words AND financially. Taylor was one who supported her financially but it wasn’t enough for Demi. She attacked Taylor for being a supposed feminist, blah, blah, blah.

    I’m not a Taylor fan or defender by any means but thought this girl had the nerve to use Kesha to attack another woman with her trifling-ass beef.

    She’s wack as hell and I am not down. Her shade at Selena is hilarious cause she seems obsessed with her too.

    • Rae says:

      I didn’t know that. Massive side eye there.

    • Léna says:

      I agreed with everything you said

    • Ainsley7 says:

      Demi basically always has something bad to say about someone. Usually a fellow female artist. She’s a huge hypocrite. If she doesn’t want to be pitted against other female artists then maybe she should stop constantly trashing them in interviews.

      • Suz says:

        It’s possible she’s trying to change that as part of her work to be sober. My friend who is now sober works hard on not saying sh-t about his ex’s family. Like I actually witness him going through the steps to stop himself from what he was about to say about his ex mother-in-law and then says something positive. Not necessarily about them, just that he doesn’t want to be angry at them and wishes them the best. Very similar to how Demi stopped herself.

      • Meg says:

        I didn’t realize part of getting sober would involve avoiding badmouthing others?
        Its tough as we’re all guilty of it to varying degrees

    • Otaku fairy says:

      On the one hand, a person can just not get along well with certain individuals who happen to be from the same group (s) as them- whether it’s gender, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else- without internalized misogyny/racism, etc. being the motive for their dislike. Her views of Taylor and Selena may be somewhat valid.

      On the other hand, Demi handles her conflicts with people in inappropriate ways that make you wonder if the common denominator is her. Selena’s comments could have come from a sincere place, and Demi could have just chosen to either take them at face value or just hash out whatever lingering issues they have privately, instead of stirring up drama in an interview.

      • alternative fact says:

        my experience with people whose interpersonal relationships are always chaotic and/or people who are constantly surrounded by drama has been that yep they are the common denominator.

  3. Some chick says:

    They are really trying to make orange happen! I agree, the makeup isn’t great, but her eyebrows are on fleek.

    Sounds like she’d totally be interesting to hang out with.

    I will scamper off and read the full Bazaar article.

  4. pottymouth pup says:

    I am totally confused by this “I wish I could say, ‘I only date attractive people.’ But I don’t.” after saying its about the connection. Why would anyone who isn’t shallow want to say they only date attractive people? This makes it sound like she really does only date attractive people but wants to make herself sound above the superficiality of physical appearance

    • EMc says:

      I thought the same! Who would want to say that..?

    • Sojaschnitzel says:

      It’s such a horrible thing to say. So ugly people are not worth dating, I get it. Oh boy, it must be so much fun to be a celebrity.

      • Ramona Q. says:

        It’s not a horrible thing to say. Please keep in mind that no MAN ever dates a woman he isn’t physically attracted to, ever. Yes, it’s shallow, but that doesn’t make it wrong. We don’t have to hold ourselves to a “nobler” standard as women, we simply do not. We can be just as shallow and it’s okay. It’s not horrible or wrong.

      • frenchtoast says:

        I agree with Ramona. Most men will say they only want to date women they find physically attractive and no one accuses them of being shallow or horrible so that’s ridiculous.
        And what does dating someone you don’t find attractive looks like?? “I’m gonna hang out with you but please stay away from and don’t touch me because it would make me want to puke, eww”.
        I’m tired of women being picked apart for having standards, if you want to date only attractive men and you’re an attractive woman, that’s your choice, it’s your life, so go for it. If you want to date ugly men, you do you too. To each her own.

      • frenchtoast says:

        It’s not like she’s making a statement that ugly people aren’t worth dating, she’s speaking solely for herself…

      • el says:

        No one accuses men of being shallow when they only want to date attractive women? We literally had a movie called “Shallow Hal” made decades ago about that.

    • Market Street Minifig says:

      That’s how you introduce a humble brag. But what a thing to be humble about. lol

    • AnnaKist says:

      It’s simple: She is shallow, nasty and as thick as two short planks.

    • Em says:

      Agree, why would you want to say “I only date attractive people?” Stupid comment. I’m going to chalk it up to not thinking before speaking.

    • alternative fact says:

      hopefully it was a joke that didn’t translate well to print

  5. FHMom says:

    Huh? Why would anyone want to say they only date attractive people? And doesn’t someone become more attractive when you date them? I have no idea what point she was trying to make, but she comes off vapid, shallow and always a bit unstable. And hands off Selena. She has health issues you don’t sound mature enough or empathetic enough to understand.

    • Spicecake38 says:

      I thought her mantra was about loving oneself as you are;she talks about it ,sings about it and then makes such an empty comment about the attractiveness/not of other people.
      Isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder anyhow…weird thing to say in an interview.

    • Anna says:

      It’s definitely a weird as heck statement. I had to reread it a couple times and I’m still not sure what it’s supposed to mean.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        I just think of her exes reading that and thinking… “wait, am I not attractive? Is she talking about me?”

  6. Veruca_Salty says:

    She’s a massive phony and insufferable. She still has a lot of self reflection to do.

    • Ainsley7 says:

      I don’t know that Demi is entirely capable of self reflection. She’s learned the right things to say, but never seems to actually change. She’s always saying one thing and then doing the exact opposite. Like saying how refreshing her friendship with Ariana is because women are often pitted against each other and then shading Selena for doing something nice in the same interview.

      • Hikaru says:

        That’s because she doesn’t do any self reflection, she only does self distraction.

        Even in the interview she says : “There are so many people alone with their thoughts right now… we have to learn to quiet our thoughts with things like meditation, checking in with friends, or finding things that will help you grow emotionally and spiritually.”

        A thought or a feeling crosses her mind – quick: distract! suppress!

        She never deals with her issues because she refuses to face them, that’s why she never learns. She either runs or hides from them, whether it’s with the help of sex or drugs or food. She needs people there to distract her and every time she’s alone she starts unraveling.

        I’m not sure how a therapist would even go about working with her, she has been through so much therapy and is still only giving the appearance of compliance by parroting what she thinks people want to hear.

  7. Winnie Cooper’s Mom says:

    She has done so much to her face, she looks like Madonna with black hair and eyebrows. Way too young to look so plastic. I’m rooting for her to live a healthy life, but she really does not come across as a genuine or nice person in this interview.

  8. horseandhound says:

    her face reminds me of lara flynn boyle’s after her lips corrections.

  9. Paigeishere says:

    I’m really surprised this article doesn’t mention the big Demi/Serena “fake Instagram” scandal that erupted a few days ago.

  10. emmy says:

    Jesus she is unlikeable. Mental illness is not an excuse for being awful and she’s been awful for years and year. She never really accepts responsibility for anything, it’s always her illness or her enablers or this or that. I don’t know what they do in those fancy rehab places but self-reflection is not part of the programs, is it? I maintain that children don’t belong in showbusiness or fashion, it’s damn child abuse and this is what happens.

  11. SilentStar says:

    I think the comment about attractive people was in the context of being asked if she has a type. I think she meant that she *doesn’t* date only attractive people, and “attractive” is not one of her requirements because having a connection is most important. The “I wish” part of her comment was awkward and I think it’s a bit unfair to focus on that.

    On a positive note, the cover with her holding the parachute is stunning! Meh on the makeup, but the composition is great.

  12. LunaSF says:

    I used to have more sympathy for her with all of her issues but lately… not so much. She all this money and resources and still constantly plays the victim IMO. You’re a grown ass woman, stop hanging out with losers who enable you and stop beefing with other women. Stop preaching self love and all this stuff until you practice it.

  13. Appalachian says:

    Can she just not be this way? I swear about every other month she does or says something that just gives you a brain twinge.

  14. pineapple says:

    There are posters who keep reminding us, just because someone is famous, it doesn’t mean they are that intelligent. Most of us went to college or University, most celebrities didn’t. They aren’t necessarily ones to always go to for life advice.

    And in Demi’s defense, I am sure in an interview I would say at least one questionable thing.

    And child stardom … yikes.

    • lucy2 says:

      Educated doesn’t always equal intelligence. One of the most clueless people I know has a masters degree. And I don’t think Demi’s issue is intelligence, so much as her personality, and her child stardom, which I agree caused a lot of problems.
      She seems petty and immature, saying that after Selena made a nice, supportive comment. Maybe they aren’t friends anymore, but it was Selena’s attempt to reach out, or just a nice comment? Demi needs to work on letting go and moving forward.

  15. Lulu says:

    Damn! Her catty and immature side is really showing in this interview. The whole I’m not friends with this person or that person is so high school. Then she goes and reconfirms my suspicion about her true nature with that remark about Selena. Who knows, maybe she has her valid and private reasons for implying that she thinks Selena is fake. That being said, she had to have known how her remarks will come off to the rest of the world and yet still said them anyway. This girl lives on drama.

    • Anna says:

      Agreed. I feel like a lot of her comments are intended to throw shade on others. Which is sometimes fun in celebrities, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t bode well for her own mental health I don’t think. She seems like yet another former child star who never grew up.

  16. Lauren says:

    Wow–this interview is TRULY Bizaar…

    • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

      Yeah, that’s my takeaway, bizarre Bazaar. I wish interviews would cease to exist with certain public personas.

  17. minnie says:

    Her comment about ‘attractive people’ sounds shallow, or like she’s trying not to be.

    Also, I don’t think Miley Cyrus is the best company when you’re trying to stay clean/sober…

  18. Juju says:

    I found this blurb in the article interesting…
    “ “There is one song I’ll probably never perform again, that was actually one of my hits, because of something that happened dur­ing my overdose,” says Lovato. “If you have a song called ‘Broken Leg,’ and you went and broke your leg, you’re not going to want to sing that song ever again, probably.”

    So my guess is she’s implying that she had a heart attack? That’s the only “hit” song of hers that I can think of that fits.

  19. Lucy says:

    I’m glad she’s alive and I hate that she’s been through so much sh*t. That being said, with her I always get the feeling that she’s full of…pettiness and hatred (yep).

  20. JennyJenny says:

    She looks like Kimberley what’s her face that’s with Orangino Junior.


    She’s the worst. I know she has bipolar disorder and I need to cut her some slack, but guess what? I have bipolar disorder too and I don’t use it as an excuse to punch dancers in the face or do drugs or generally be a bitch. I would believe that her mental illness makes it hard for her, but she’s part of the reason why bipolar people are seen as reckless and dangerous and it’s unfair to the rest of us who are struggling but not being assholes.

  22. Ninks says:

    She’s one of those people I just have a (mostly) irrational dislike of, just something about her annoyed me right from the beginning and nothing she’s said or done since has made me reconsider. It’s not one big thing, I just don’t like her. But I do feel a lot of sympathy for her, as I do any former child star, it obviously had a hugely negative impact on her life. I fully believe that the best thing for her would be to go live on a farm somewhere far from the spotlight and forget about fame, but her biggest and worst addiction seems to be attention, so she’s always going to cling to fame and trying to stay relevant.

  23. TheBayTea says:

    Has anyone followed her Selena IG shenanigans over the past couple days? Demi is SHADY as all get out. Here’s my understanding:

    She setup a finsta under a fake name to talk sh*t about Selena, then she was an idiot who accidentally started a live insta session under the fake account instead of her real one. Fans noticed (duh) so she immediately deleted it, but not before fans captured all her shady comments. Selena responded in a very classy way without saying Demi’s name, then #DemiLovatoIsOverParty started trending on twitter.

    Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands right now.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      That’s already been proven to be fake. And came about because of this excerpt from her Bazaar interview.

  24. Lisabella says:

    Demi, I wish you could be single for a while a focus on your Sobriety…

  25. K says:

    is that “I wish I could say” quote about admitting she has low standards or something? Or that she knows she has dated some losers and can’t help being drawn to them (unattractive as in bad personalities?) What a weird way to phrase it because it’s not like it’s noble to only date beautiful people.

    • SomeChick says:

      That’s kinda how I took it. There are many pretty people who are totally unattractive.

  26. Ratso Rizzy says:

    And the guys who date her are known to say “I wish I could say I only date intelligent people, but I don’t”

  27. boobra says:

    to me, Demi Lovato = nails on a chalkboard

  28. Otaku fairy says:

    The song she’s talking about probably is Heart Attack. Pretty scary. 🙁
    “It’s hard when you’re in a moment like that because you don’t feel worthy of it.” It’s not surprising that she felt that way, and it’s one of the things that makes you sympathetic toward her even though she can be grating. It can’t be easy to struggle with substance abuse and mental health issues while you’ve also been expected to be a ‘role model’ from an early age, especially in a patriarchal world. Women young and old don’t often get what Elton John, Eminem, and other messy male legends with that set of issues have gotten. So much for both her and Selena was about ‘reputations’ and not letting people down- the way they both talk about it, you can tell it was a lot of pressure and not the best thing for their mental health.

  29. MangoAngel says:

    I mean, kudos to her for getting sober, that takes serious work and determination.

    But…having issues doesn’t make a person interesting, and she just doesn’t seem interesting, unless you’re looking for cattiness or the like.

  30. frenchtoast says:

    Some of these commenters are acting so high and mighty, like they’re above judging people on their appearance.
    Girl, if you want to date ugly men, you do you, some people have standards lol.

  31. Quaranteen says:

    It would be good if you wrote more stories about social media celebrities and popular youtube vloggers. Some of them are much more relevant than some of the celebrities from ‘old media’ that you write about

  32. i love her. she has one of the best voices