Embed from Getty Images
Jimmy Fallon and his wife, Nancy Juvonen, are doing such a great job from his house. They’re delivering comforting content and deeper interviews and we’re also getting a look at their home life with their two adorable children, Winnie, 6, and Frances, 5. Sometimes Jimmy and Nancy take walks with a selfie stick and answer questions. This week Nancy opened up about struggling to conceive and it was kind of deep.
Nancy is actually 52! I thought she was in her early 40s but she’s older than Jimmy, who is 45. They’ve been open about their journey to conceive, with Jimmy revealing in 2013 that they went through five years of fertility treatments. They eventually had Winnie and Frances via surrogate. Here’s some of what she said in a recent opener to Jimmy’s show, which is below:
Question: How did you know you were ready to have kids?
We were ready when we got married. I got married later in life. You loved kids and I loved kids. That was just the plan. That was five years of really deciding not to give up and, at a certain point it had to become like a job. You just keep going and if you really want something you just make it happen. You [will do anything] for your family.If anyone is out there having the dream, do not give up. You can stumble upon a lottery ticket and win the lottery but you will not ever stumble upon a child that you can love and have as your family. Don’t give up. Every time we got bad news we would go away for one weekend. Then we just get right back up.
That was nuts. It was just shots and things and drinking weird teas, remember that?
Oh I cried 14 times a day.Me too. I was sleeping upside down. I had magnets in my underwear. We are so lucky. Two beautiful girls.
Couldn’t be more happy and more lucky and more in love with them and each other.
[From The Tonight Show]
That was really sweet actually and you could see Jimmy get frustrated talking about it. He said he slept upside down with his feet attached to the ceiling! What in the world? Also how are magnets worn in the underwear supposed to help male fertility? I can’t imagine going through that and my heart goes out to them and to other couples dealing with that.
Here’s that segment. The part above starts at about 9:15. There’s a really great part where Jimmy does a riff on the new Girl Scout cookies at about minute 4.
My favorite is the used to be Thin Mints pic.twitter.com/gx9hm20mMY
— celebitchy (@celebitchy) April 29, 2020
I have a confession to make that Ive never told ANYONE except my doctor.
I have something called hyper-fertility.
This means that I fall pregnant very very easily.
The pill doesn’t work (I fell pregnant twice on it)
Sometimes I feel like screaming cos there’s no place or voice for someone like me.
Basically the only contraception that works is abstinence.
As someone who was told at 11 I wouldn’t be able to have children, it makes me sad that you feel you can’t talk about your hyperfertility.
Awww that is a very kind thing to say. Thing is, infertility is EVERYWHERE but there is actually the reverse side of the coin which is my problem. It is hellish to tell the truth. I have one girlfriend with a similar problem but for the most part I have to remain silent.
I wish you could be confortable with your friends or relatives to talk about it. Just because you can fall pregnant way easily than most people doesn’t not mean it comes without any issue .. maybe because I’m not at the stage of “I want a child” I’m approaching this differently than people who are trying to conceive and are sadly unable to… In my opinion we should all be able to be emphatic enough to understand everyone struggle, or at least recognize it
Um. Condoms?
Condoms, like the pill, is not 100% security. I believe condoms are even less effective than the pill. Condoms are mostly effective against sexual transmissive diseases
Don’t be so condescending. If hormonal birth control doesn’t work, condoms (which have a similar efficacy rate) won’t work.
Kat, condoms and hormonal birth control don’t work the same way at all…
Um. Condoms? And birth control? Perhaps if you could discuss with others or join support group you could discover optiond.
I always thought the issue with hyper fertility was the increased likelihood of non viable pregnancies/miscarriages – so heartbreaking.
Ms single malt, I met a nurse once who didn’t want children. She got pregnant on the pill and had a child.
So she went on the Depo. shot. She got pregnant and had another child.
She then had her tubes tied. She got pregnant within the 2 year window where things can spontanously regenerate. So she now had 3 children that she didn’t want.
So she had her uterus removed. That solved her problem.
Nothing is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, except for total abstinence. Even heavy petting can result in pregnancy at times. And condoms can break.
Watercress, I’m sorry that you can’t talk about it. I have PCOS, which should mean that I can’t get pregnant easily – or so my doctors say – but have been pregnant twice. And I have another friend who has PCOS who was told that she’s 40% fertile; she just had her 7th pregnancy and 5th child.
No one should be ashamed to talk about lack of fertility, hyperfertility, or anything in-between.
Ms single malt
Whether you intended to or not – you’re being incredibly condescending. I’m sure someone who’s been ACTUALLY diagnosed with the condition wasn’t just sitting around saying “golly gee – if only I’d thought of condoms!” This is a common thing that people with chronic conditions go through – people giving them condescending advice as if they haven’t thought of trying something so simple before. It’s especially true for people with invisible illnesses. “Have you tried essential oils? What if you just tried to NOT do that? My cousins sister’s friend was cured of that condition by eating spotted bananas on a full moon in july” – they get SO many comments like this and it’s NOT helpful. Random people without any experience or education in a specific area thinking that they somehow know more than the person going through it or their healthcare team offering their own takes. I think a lot of times people don’t REALIZE how they come off – but this is a gentle reminder that even if you’re trying to be helpful, just know that there’s basically a 99% chance that they’ve heard it all before.
Hyperfertility is basically an inability to not conceive no matter how hard you try – the opposite of infertility basically. So it’d be similar to looking at someone who’s having trouble conceiving and saying “have you tried not using protection?”
The other flip side is that people with hyper fertility aren’t treated with the same kind of compassion. People will look at someone with infertility and think that they deserve to have kids and feel sad for them, while looking at someone with hyperfertility and calling them irresponsible. But either way – it’s a loss of control over your reproductive system, and both are equally deserving of empathy and understanding.
A close friend got pregnant even after a year of not ovulating. She was put on medication for a long while, got her periods back. Used contraception to avoid pregnancies and got pregnant anyway. She found out at 4 months along as she still had her period every month. Women’s bodies are not equal.
🙄
… K.
Yes, I understand how they work differently. But if she’s more likely than the “normal” person to get pregnant by any sperm…then any sperm getting through is the same result, yes? She says quite clearly that the only thing that works is abstinence.
I don’t think I have hyper fertility, but I had (before being sterilized) the uncanny ability to get pregnant exactly when I wanted on the first try, with my preferred gender. Everyone said it was a fluke…until the fourth time.
I have one acquaintance in particular who actually hates me for it. She’s been unable to conceive after five years and thinks it’s wrong that it’s so easy for me, because I’m not what she considers a good mother. ☹️
I also get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Planned both pregnancies for the birthday month I wanted, only took one try, and got the sex I wanted both times. Honestly, life is unfair and this is just one thing that happens easily and fast for us. I have never taken this for granted. I’m so grateful and I have several friends with PCOS and have been trying for years with zero luck. My heart breaks for every couple dealing with infertility. Anyone who want a child, or doesn’t want a child, should get to make that choice in my opinion. I actually had my tubes tied and then went a step further and had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed!!! Nothing is going to happen now. I’m in my early 30’s and lots of people in my own family and friends, didn’t think I was ‘old enough to make such a final decision!’ I was shocked. My uterus my choice.
#1 comment @watercress
Would it not be possible to have your tubes tied?
I’m hyper-fertile too. I’ve never tried to hide it but I’m very mindful around friends that have tried to conceive or maybe struggling to conceive. I have a great deal of empathy for their struggles and although that’s not my personal struggles, I have other struggles. I guess I’m saying, don’t hide it. You don’t have to wear a neon sign or advertise it but it is who you are so that makes it you and quite frankly valid.
A friend had that, but sadly, her 3 pregnancies in a row which miscarried/ could not get to term. She got the implant, which worked for her. She said it herself, she is a mother, but she doesn’t have any children. Very sad.
My heart breaks for anyone who struggles with fertility problems. They’re lucky that they seem to have a strong bond, because I know many couples who break under that type of stress. They clearly adore their babies and have a loving family.
From everything I’ve read about their relationship, she acts more like his mother than his wife.
I mean you could say that about a lot of relationships. Traditionally speaking, isn’t that what it was? You just trade your folks in for a spouse?
I agree that the dynamics do seem that way between them but maybe it works for them and it’s what they’re comfortable with.
Several times I’ve watched the show or heard him talk about her and it’s more like talking about a mother or a friend. He even refers to her as ‘pal’ but I wonder whether that’s what happens in a lot of relationships that go the distance. Maybe the spark goes but you become something else, different but equally as great.
Either way, I find watching them much more comforting and relaxing than watching some super loved up couple. They seem very real and down to earth.
It’s such a rollercoaster. Last Christmas I couldn’t even bear to put up decorations because our last time trying naturally had just failed and it was on to IVF. I was hanging upside-down from my bed after sex. I was avoiding anything cold to keep my uterus warm for implantation. Eating every food that said it would help with implantation. My hubs and I have been trying to conceive since 2016. Got pregnant naturally twice and lost both of them early. Went through so much testing. They at least pin-pointed why I was miscarrying and there’s treatment for it. Was told to try again naturally. Didn’t work. I’m at an amazing infertility practice now. I’ve never been to such a competently and compassionately run doctor’s office, honestly. Fertility meds didn’t work. I’m halfway through IVF. We’ve got four good embryos that can go back in (not at the same time!). My transfer date was originally last week and was canceled because of Covid. (like I said, rollercoaster!) It’s now scheduled for June. I feel cautiously confident that this is our chance, finally.
Oh Suz. So so so many hugs and love to you.
Good luck to you!!
I had no idea she was older than him. I assumed they were they same age. She looks great and I’m glad they were able to have their two adorable girls! I’m also enjoying watching his show during this time.
I feel like this is going to be me whenever I meet “the one” and try to conceive. I’ve had two miscarriages previously and am currently single. I had a myomectomy (fibroid removal surgery) in 2014, removing 11. Now I have 12 more, two of which stick out of my stomach, kind of gross actually. One tumor that was so big, it had to be removed by cutting into my uterus three separate places. It was 5 lbs after all of the blood drained.
Now I want to have surgery again, but if I do, I have less of a chance, even more so, because of scar tissue forming. I really want to get my eggs frozen, but can’t afford the 10k cost. And I’m turning 39 in July. My window is closing very fast. Everyone tells me, “So just adopt,” but I want at least one of my own. I know that’s selfish, but it’s what I want. Keep in mind the people who tell me to adopt, 95% of them have beared their own offspring.
So, I want to keep hope, but it’s difficult. 🙁 Especially in a pandemic when I can’t even date!
12 miscarriages here. 9 before my twins (born at 27 weeks no less) and 3 more after.
IF sucks, but so does getting pg when you not only don’t want to, but also when you are being responsible trying to avoid.
I know a couple that got pg with a condom, then child 2 was conceived while on the pill. Third child was with an IUD. It happens.
For us, Everytime another one of our friends get of, my husband would bring me home flowers. It got to a point that u didn’t want him to bring me flowers for over 10 after
Life’s not fair, but my motto is that it’s not the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play your hand
We need to create a safer space for discussing fertility issues.
Before I had my kids, I had 2 miscarriages. Then I got pregnant again, cautiously optimistic. Turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy that burst and I almost died. Lost my right fallopian tube. I was terrified that it would make it harder or impossible to get pregnant. Or that it would happen again.
Once I started talking about it, suddenly all these experiences came out of the woodworks. My favorite aunt had her 2 daughters after losing one tube the same way. My friend with 4 kids turned out ot have also had 4 miscarriages. My friend who said she never wanted kids apparently tried for five years to have them. All these stories that I never would have heard had i not spoken up first.
After talking to several people who had kids after an ectopic, I calmed down and had 2 kids myself. And now I try to talk about it as often as I can – stress can exacerbate all sorts of problems so reassurance really, really helps.
My mom used to get pregnant just standing downwind of my dad. It took my sister three years to get pregnant with each of her two kids. I was told my fertility was so poor that I wasn’t even a candidate for IVF (although I think part of that was the clinic being conservative to protect their statistics.) Despite my lousy test results, I got pregnant on the first try with an IUI and minimal meds.
Then, I spent the next nine months getting told that, because I was single, I either should have just accepted not having a family, or that it was only OK for me to have kids if I adopted them. And I have married friends and family who get constant grief for choosing not to have kids. You can’t win for losing.
But, I will say that it is, love, not biology or legality, that really leaves your legacy in this world. My son’s first and middle names are after the two best people that I have known. My great-aunt, who did not have children of her own, but was the heart and soul of our extended family, and my unofficially adopted grandfather, who was everything a grandpa should be.
Really pleased it worked out for them. I have to challenge this idea of “never giving up hope” to have children. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work out for some people for a myriad of reasons and hope won’t change that. Sometimes it is better for people to start to accept that they won’t be able to have children and start to create a different path in life. We tend to hear the stories of miracle babies and happy endings, but life isn’t always like that. I’m so pleased I gave up hope, my life is great now, but I have friends who pursued all avenues and ended up broke and broken. Just a different perspective from the other side x
I’m enjoying watching his show from home. Does anyone know where he is? I’m assuming that’s their vacation home somewhere in the state of New York? The house is so interesting on the inside.
@me it’s in the East Hamptons and much of what is on the show is a barn on the property.
I am absolutely loving the show from home, Nancy and the kids.
I’m sorry to everyone experiencing fertility issues on either side.
I never preferred Jimmy Fallon in the late night slot but he has been killing it in quarantine. Or should I say, Nancy, the Roots, and his daughters are killing it. His younger daughter Frannie delights in sabotaging any and all of his bits. If you want to laugh you should watch him try 4 takes to do his Thank You Notes. Frannie was the funniest part of it and the looks he gives his wife and the camera are priceless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8o85dhujQM&t=463s
I am really loving Jimmy at home and usually Im more of a kimmel watcher. Nancy is great and they make such a beautiful family.
I got pregnant very easy as well. The first I was 35, the second 38. But my pregnancies were very high risk. I had spotting and infections with my first and my water broke at 24 weeks. It was a disaster. But I managed to keep him till 38 weeks, which was a miracle. I lay on my back and didn’t move except to use the bathroom or shower for 14 weeks. He’s fine but has Asperger, speech delay and problems with motor skills. With my second, I had a lot of bleeding in my first trimester. She’s 15 months now and hasn’t said any words. It’s tough
I don’t understand the lottery ticket/child quote.
I feel for her but realistically she’s 52 now, she would have been no spring chicken when they started.
He has a beautiful wife and family. Lucky guy!