If Justin Bieber could change one thing: ‘I probably would’ve saved myself for marriage’

Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber head home after getting some retail done in West Hollywood

I’ve been taking a little break from covering Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin for several reasons. One, they were being annoying and yet unnewsworthy, and two, I actually feel like more people should give them some space to just figure some sh-t out. It’s not that I think they’ll work out long-term. But I do hope they stick out their marriage for a few years. I feel like Hailey isn’t going to let go – she just doesn’t have that personality. Soon after Justin and Hailey got married in a New York courthouse, we learned that they were actually “saving themselves” for marriage. They had slept together when they dated for the first time, several years beforehand, but when they got back together in 2018, they didn’t sleep together while they dated and while they were engaged. And, obviously, before that, Justin was sleeping with many, many women. So… Justin revealed something on his Facebook Watch series:

Justin Bieber is opening up about what he would change if he could go back in time. The 26-year-old singer and his wife Hailey have been doing a Facebook Watch series called The Biebers on Watch and they answered fan questions in episode six.

“[There are] probably a lot of things I would change. I don’t regret anything because I think it makes you who you are, and you learn from things. If I could go back and not have to face some of the bad hurt, I went through I probably would’ve saved myself for marriage,” Justin said about what he would change. “I know that sounds crazy. Sex can be kind of confusing when you’re being sexually active with anybody.”

Hailey added, “I don’t know if I’d say the same, but we had different experiences with everything. I do agree with the fact that being physical sometimes can make things more confusing.”

[From JustJared]

I think this is an impossible what-if – if Justin hadn’t slept with all of those women before Hailey, he wouldn’t have gotten so confused and he wouldn’t have abstained for months, which finally made him clear-headed enough to fall for Hailey (and break the toxic cycle he had with Selena Gomez). Meanwhile, Hailey recently spoke about her marriage in a video for their cult-like church, Hillsong:

On Friday morning, Hailey Baldwin sat down with Natalie Manuel Lee for Hillsong Channel and kicked off a candid discussion about marriage.

“I think I’d always hope that he was the person I would end up with anyway so when we got together, it was just like I trust this is what is supposed to be happening,” Hailey explained to the Now With Natalie host. “Getting married is not ever to be taken lightly. It’s not a joke. It’s very, very serious…It was a very thought out life decision and it took every ounce of my faith in Jesus to step forward in that.”

During the sit-down, Hailey explained how she was raised in a Christian household. She would go on to explain the “extra guilt” she put on herself to be the “good girl.”

“We all wish there were things we had never done and we all wish that there were decisions we didn’t make and mistakes we didn’t make but what I learned being married is that every mistake that I made and every bad decision I made—everything I was making myself feel guilty for—actually led to me getting married and it led to me being a wife,” Hailey shared. “Probably for the first six or seven months of being married, I was just ridden with guilt. I wish I hadn’t done this. I wish I had just walked into this clean and free and clean slate but what it taught me is that it’s A, not realistic, and B, we all have guilt and we all shame for things we’ve done but it doesn’t have to define who we are and it didn’t have to define me in my relationship.”

She continued, “It didn’t have to define me as a married woman and as a wife. We’re constantly evolving especially in Jesus. Our relationship with Christ is always going deeper and deeper.”

[From E! News]

Was… was she guilty about slaying some dudes before she got married?? These were conversations kids were having when I was growing up, so it feels so bizarre to hear the same old things from different generations. I get that “guilt” is ingrained in girls in many religions, but lord, we’re all adults now. You don’t have to walk into a marriage “clean.” There is no benefit to “clean.” “Clean” can mean that you’re ill-prepared emotionally, physically and psychologically for just how difficult marriage can be.

Red carpet arrivals for the Los Angeles Premiere Of YouTube Originals' 'Justin Bieber: Seasons'

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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39 Responses to “If Justin Bieber could change one thing: ‘I probably would’ve saved myself for marriage’”

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  1. Zen says:

    What he should regret is his clothing choices. Man, he dresses badly. And its even more stark when he is next to her and she is all put together and he looks like a slob.

  2. Yoyo says:

    Is the money worth it?

  3. lana86 says:

    I find it so cringy how people have to bring God into any mundane conversation about their trivial life events. I guess its a bit of a trend in US?:))… Yeah right, God personally supervises your sex life and is madly involved into you mundane marriage.
    I cant imagine someone talking like this in Europe, whether religious or not. He’d be a laughing stock.

    • bettyrose says:

      X100000000

    • Grant says:

      This is such a silly pretentious comment. I have a friend from PARIS who is an evangelical and she has no problem discussing her faith in exactly the circumstances you describe. So no, I don’t think that this is limited to Americans only.

    • Jules says:

      Well for one, Bieber is from Canada. I’ve traveled around and lived in Central and South America and India, and I find that the US is waaaay less religious than people there.

    • Amelie says:

      Yeah I’d say it’s a very American thing, especially an evangelical Christian American thing. Americans talk very openly about their faith and there are positives and negatives to it. I’m half French and so the French swing in the other direction–VERY secular and private about religion. Again there are positives and negatives to it and being from both cultures I see the pros and cons of both.

    • missskitttin says:

      They probably think he’s in a cuckoo cult. In Europe they laugh at him.

  4. Darla says:

    If I could change one thing it would be to have slept with even more men, and HAD I known this coronavirus was coming, and it may spell the end for my sexing days, considering my age and how long this may gone on for, and who knows how attractive I’ll be when it’s all over….believe me I would have said yes a lot more often the past year.

    • Alice says:

      Yep. This 👆

    • Ali says:

      You will still be beautiful in 2 years.

    • WTW says:

      I used to be very religious and did “save myself” for marriage. There is one person from my past I wish I had slept with because I cared about him so much. If you would’ve asked me in my teens/20s if I thought I would’ve regretted not having premarital sex, I wouldn’t have believed it. I thought it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, my faith in religion has been shaken by some tragedies over the years. I’m not an atheist, but I don’t know if I would’ve felt the need to adhere to the no premarital sex rule as strongly. Also, the writer of this piece implies that it’s only girls who have this pressure, and that’s just not true. Among people who are really trying to live as Christians, both men/women have guilt about premarital sex. The churches I attended never said or even implied that it was okay for men to have premarital sex, and I have gone to Hillsong-like churches. In fact, one of the male pastors gave a testimony about his regret over having sex in college.

    • olala says:

      oh Darla i hear you! Same here,same here

  5. SamC says:

    Isn’t her father the super religious, MAGA supporting Baldwin brother? Not surprising she’d have those ingrained beliefs. Though Bieber seems so dependent on her not sure he’d let her go either, at least until he gets bored like he does with pets. He does seem to have calmed down a bit with her.

  6. Arb says:

    I don’t know. There is so much temptation in Hollywood that I can see why they would need to repeat purity mantras to keep from cheating. As long term strategies go, they’d be much better off retiring from public life and moving somewhere to settle down together. But maybe that’s not a possibility for them. They both seem sincere in their beliefs. As an atheist, I think reason and temptation are going to tag team their marriage into oblivion, but I do think their motives are pure. Bless ’em, I guess.

    • Noki says:

      Didnt the older Jonas brother keep his purity ring promise,it can be done in Hollywood lol

  7. Chica1971 says:

    I think Bieber needs to step away from that church and find a really good therapist. He sounds as though he really grew up too fast and is trying to mentally rewind to find a good starting place. He is definitely vulnerable to manipulation especially from shady religious organizations.

    • WTW says:

      Why is Hillsong shady? I haven’t heard this before. And the writer of this piece describes it as cult-like. I live in L.A., and from what I know, it’s a typical Christian megachurch. Just trying to be clear on whether this church is really problematic or if some of you think any church is cult-like. Also, many churches do have licensed marriage and family therapists, so the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

  8. emmy says:

    Why does their faith sound like Christianity Light? Or Christianity for Dummies? I know nothing about that church but it sounds weird, like less of a spiritual foundation and more like something you can tailor to you life.

    I love how she’s like “Eh, still would’ve slept with other people, probably.”

    • WTW says:

      This is what modern urban Christianity is like in places like L.A.. Many churches have a self-help type of vibe because they’re trying to reach young hip people who ordinarily wouldn’t go to church. It seems to be a successful strategy, but I do wonder if people who get involved know what they’re committing to, especially if they don’t read the Bible/study religion apart from going to worship services and events. I actually left a church because it seemed to be all style no substance after a while.

      • emmy says:

        I never know what to make of these trends. Religion should evolve, at least in my opinion. But there are also really profound ideas in Christianity that I – an agnostic – have always understood to be quite universal. And the foundation of Christianity. I went to a Catholic elementary school (I’m not Catholic though) and Religion was on the curriculum even in high school. We studied the Bible a lot and I think it’s a good idea even if you don’t believe. Just to understand history and culture. I get the feeling that these trendy churches don’t give two sh*ts about any of that?

        Some things are supposed to be hard. But if you live your life according to the Gospel of No Regrets and Jesus Loves Me Even If I F*ck Up … I don’t know.

  9. Lucy2 says:

    All the lousy and dangerous stuff he’s done, and THAT is what he regrets?
    Sounds like that church’s influence. He really should have gotten rehab and a good therapist too.

    • geekychick says:

      yeah, I was just thinking the same thing: really, premarital sex is what your sorry for? your racist behaviour, you pissing in that poor worker’s bucket, that is ok?

      I mean, obviously, he should be sorry for becoming addicted to drugs first and foremost, especially considering his claims it almost killed him.
      but IMHO, he’s not sober now, so of course that will not even cross his mind.

  10. Soupie says:

    And then there are his industry mentors. Shudder. Poor kid.

  11. Kelsea says:

    My main issue with hillsong is that the pastor and his wife have said in church services that prayer is what people with addiction and mental health need, not therapy or sometimes (gasp) medication. I walked out and never went back after that. They are also not affiliated with anything, meaning no checks and balances and they all just seem to worship their leader more than a god.

    • WTW says:

      It’s troubling if they said that, and mental health is a lot more complicated than either pro/con therapy/meds. Some people need meds, but others don’t, depending on their diagnosis. Even two people with the same diagnosis, say, depression will need different things. One depressed person might need meds, another may be fine with just talk therapy. And another may be able to live with depression w/o therapy or drugs. Out mental health system is rife with problems, which means many people haven’t gotten the help they need from therapy or drugs. Of course, others say they wouldn’t be alive otherwise. It’s not black or white. But I certainly don’t believe you can pray mental illness away.

  12. CROOKSNNANNIES says:

    I never get people saying things like “that’s what led me to being a wife.” Like I get “a wife” is a role. I would understand saying “Justin’s wife” because then you’re talking about your specific life and your partner. But saying you have the role of “a wife” is strange to me, like who cares? You’re no better than anyone who isn’t a wife.

  13. bettyrose says:

    Like someone said above, I wish I’d had more sex. I was sexually active for 10ish years before settling into a monogamous relationship relationship with my current partner of two decades, but I tended to be a serial monogamist during those years, so there were definitely times I chose a boring short term relationship over hot sex with a rando. But no question that all the sex I did have educated me on what I was looking for.

  14. Rachel says:

    It kills me to hear them talk about marriage. They have been married a nano second; and they are telling us their wisdom on marriage. My God, they are a joke.

  15. Jaded says:

    These two are so tiresome…they make their marriage sound like they’re digging a grave with a teaspoon. I was late to the losing my virginity game, almost 22, but I just didn’t feel “ready” until then. I got stuck into my first big romance and he was a jerk and a bad lover but after that ended I felt free to explore and experiment. It was enlightening. I had a lot of false starts, made some stupid mistakes, but it helped me figure out the type of person I wanted to be with in the long run, and I’m with him today for the second time around, happy we took a chance on a second chance!

  16. Lindy says:

    Count me in the opposite camp. I was raised in a fairly conservative, religious environment and I wish very much that I had slept around a whole lot more without any of the crippling guilt I experienced when I did have sex.

    It took a terrible marriage and a lot of pain and suffering for me to even begin to get comfortable with my body and my desires.

    Religion was one of the most damaging things I experienced, and leaving it behind has made me happy and secure and free.

    Bieber seems like a complete mess and religion is only going to be a false crutch for him until he deals with whatever emotional and mental health and substance abuse issues he has.

  17. MKM says:

    Abstinence culture in American Christian churches is still super influential and powerful. There’s a great book by Nadia Bolz-Weber called Shameless, that is an wonderful exploration of Church shame culture and how to get free from it. It hurts everyone, including the “good kids” who saved themselves for marriage.

  18. Winnie Cooper's Mom says:

    I dont know which couple enjoys making their marriage seem more difficult – these two or Dax Shepard/Kristen Bell. If every day is a miserable struggle, it ain’t going to work out long-term.

  19. QueenMeow says:

    There is something about these two that just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’s all the Jesus stuff or that I just can’t shake the idea that they’re both doing hardcore drugs together. I don’t know. They just seem so dependent on one another.

  20. RoyalBlue says:

    religion always makes sex the forbidden fruit and loves to use it to control. adultery is forbidden, fornication is wrong, don’t masturbate, no birth control or only use natural birth control,

    justin and hailey are fine in that regard in that they came together and mutually agreed on the same terms, they are experiencing young love right now, so i would love to check in on another 5 years and see how they are doing as people are always changing.

  21. Jane says:

    Does anyone else get McCauley Culkin / Mila Kunis vibes off these two?