YouTube parents Myka & James Stauffer ‘rehomed’ their special-needs child

BRITAIN-LONDON-COMMONWEALTH SERVICE- WESTMINSTER ABBEY

I don’t follow any YouTube personality, so I’m just going from other outlets’ reporting that Myka and James Stauffer are popular YouTube personalities. They make YouTube videos – which I assume are pretty popular – about their family life with their five kids. One of their five kids, Huxley, was adopted from China almost three years ago. Huxley apparently has autism, at least according to Myka and James. And because of of his autism, the Stauffers have decided to “rehome” their son. They gave him away. Because he didn’t fit in with their inspo-parent YouTube life and it was too hard.

YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband James have announced that they have decided to “rehome” their son Huxley, who they adopted nearly three years ago from China. Myka and James said that they weren’t aware of what it would be like to take care of Huxley, who has autism.

“Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we weren’t aware of, and that we were not told,” James said in a video shared on Tuesday. “For us, it’s been really hard hearing from the medical professionals, a lot of their feedback, and things that have been upsetting,” he continued. “We’ve never wanted to be in this position. And we’ve been trying to get his needs met and help him out as much as possible… We truly love him.”

“There’s not an ounce of our body that doesn’t love Huxley with all of our being,” Myka tearfully added. “There wasn’t a minute that I didn’t try our hardest and I think what Jim is trying to say is that after multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit and that his medical needs, he needed more.”

“Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500 percent,” Myka said, saying that Huxley was living with a “new mommy” in a “forever home.”

“The last couple months have been like the hardest thing I could have ever imagined to going to choosing to do because ultimately, after pouring our guts and our heart into this little boy,” she said. “He is thriving, he is happy, he is doing really well, and his new mommy has medical professional training, and it is a very good fit.”

The couple asked their subscribers to honor their privacy and said that they wouldn’t be going into further details about why they made the decision place their son with another family.

[From People]

Is there anything more pathetic than the sentence “The couple asked their subscribers to honor their privacy”? Especially when it’s in regard to people being outraged that this couple is giving away a child who has developmental disabilities. I’m not going to pretend that I have first-hand knowledge about raising children or raising special needs children. What I do understand is that there are resources at the local, state and federal level for special needs kids. There are resources like that because most parents don’t give away their children – excuse me, “rehome” their children – when the children don’t fit in with their white mommy-inspo life. It feels like they adopted Huxley so he would look good on Instagram and they gave up when it got too hard.

Huxley

Photos courtesy of Instagram.

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267 Responses to “YouTube parents Myka & James Stauffer ‘rehomed’ their special-needs child”

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  1. Mellie says:

    WHAT?! As if this little guy was a puppy that didn’t work out? maybe it’s time to re-think the social media ‘career’….Jesus Christ.

    • T.Fanty says:

      I read the “forever home” line and my first thoughts was that this is the language people for dogs. It’s absolutely revolting.

      • Adrianna says:

        I watched the video she made celebrating his two years of being adopted and he looked like such a happy little guy.

      • Mira says:

        Forever home? Disgusting.

        Why isn’t this a teary video about how they have tried their best but they have realised that they are out of their depth. And that is why they have decided to get help and find ways to learn how to be good parents to this little boy? That would make so much more sense imo.

    • Anony83 says:

      They also used “Gotcha Day” when they adopted him, which I’ve never heard outside the dog adoption world.

      Disgusting.

      • josephine says:

        No, lots of humans use “gotcha day.” It’s an awesome way to celebrate family, so not limited to animals in any way.

        This family is abhorrent. The only question one needs to ask is whether they would give away and give up on a biological child. They would not. What they’re doing is criminal in my opinion.

      • lucy2 says:

        OMG. Just when I thought this story couldn’t get any worse.

      • Aims says:

        I am outraged. I have two kids who are Autistic, that have grown up to be amazing people. Their both college educated and are making a nice life for themselves. When they were diagnosed as young children, never once did we give up on them. We knew the road was going to be hard, and my heart broke for them. But we are their parents. We love them unconditionally. Yes there were hard day’s. Yes I wanted to give up. But those days were fleeting. My children made me a better person. They taught me patience, compassion, empathy. They showed me a new way of looking at the world. I’m so upset by this. I can’t imagine how confused this little boy must feel. These people are trash.

    • Esmom says:

      I know, right? What will they do if one of their bio kids ends up with something that requires extra time, resources and attention? Where will they send him or her? Or are only adopted children returnable? I’m flabbergasted. This poor kiddo.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        Returnable is right. Like a pair of pants that didn’t fit. We need to rethink who we pay to entertain us my god. The original Itube thing said they wanted to also get a baby from Africa like collectible toys. That kid needs a court advocate to get his share of the fees since he had no choice but to earn them and this should be used to subsidize his care omg these are just the most entitled a$$holes

      • Bucky says:

        I know of a family that transferred guardianship of there own child several years ago because they couldn’t safely meet his needs (autism compounded by some other things) and the only alternative was in patient care, for the foreseeable future. I understand the issue was that as he matured he became more intensely frustrated and his only outlet was physical. He was injuring other people in the family and it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t treatable. It was developmental and he matured out of it eventually. I’ve seen the same issue in another family but they had no other kids who would be vulnerable.

    • Annaloo. says:

      Dehumanizing. A special needs child of color no less(!) once again thrown away, with money possibly still being made upon the white savior /position of privilege image she is benefitting from.

      What part of special needs did they decide they wouldn’t handle, bc this is not a question of if they CAN take care of this little boy: it is a question of their WILL to take care of him.

      This poor child. Children adopted are not pets, that is a new family member. You should treat them as if you’d given birth to them naturally, bc you know you would not “re-home” a special needs baby if you carried him. There would be hell to pay.

      There’s so much to be ashamed of here, so much that this couple needs to be roasted for, I have to go outside and take a walk. I am tired of seeing this narrative of who benefits, and who loses out. All faith lost today.

      • lisa says:

        This couple is total garbage and I hope they lose all their social media money. The kid was 4 1/2 … can you imagine being that age and having to leave your family? Every night crying, “mommy, mommy…” and mom never comes. Instead, you are with strangers.

    • eb says:

      I’ve watched a few of their videos a while ago. They seem to be super-christian. Even the ‘church’ they went to was young, good-looking, and seemingly rich. Small too.
      They’ve been mentioning their struggles with their adopted son since they brought him home. I think the Adoption agency didn’t mention the autism? They were only expecting to adopt a child who had a physical deformity? Or medical need? Not one who also had behavioral issues. The also home school.

      To sum up, I’m not surprised they’ve “rehomed” him. (That is animal-rescue verbiage!) It is sad though. Because he did improve. He was happy with them and started to verbalize. He wasn’t verbal or smiley at all for the first great while. I think they did mention tantrums. For a while he shared a room with their son, but at some point, if I remember correctly, they gave him his own room? He wasn’t always with them when they filmed. And I think there was some hesitancy with having him with their daughters or unsupervised with their children? I didn’t understand it. Did he become reckless? Did he push? Did he shove? Was he loud? I don’t know. I never saw anything like that.

      But, I do remember him finally being happy. Especially with the father. The mother seemed to have trouble building a relationship with him from the beginning. But, not the dad.

      Sad.

      • Coco says:

        Totally Christian. Remember when Christ was like, “I’ll cure your leprosy, but healing makes me really tired. So you’ll go back to being a leper when the cameras stop rolling.” Then he said, “I’d like to thank today’s sponsor, the Temple Money Changers. Blasphemous, but convenient!”

      • JaneBee says:

        From what I’ve read elsewhere, she is apparently trained as a nurse and *actively* sought to adopt a child with special needs. They asked their followers to contribute funds to help with the adoption costs. She has made a living off this child through YouTube and sourcing donations from followers.

        There are also screen shots circulating of her making enquiries in FB groups AFTER abandoning this child, in order to get information on adopting a NEW child from Ethiopia or another African country with ‘reduced’ special needs.

        @nowhitesaviors has a post on Instagram about it that I recommend reading – especially the comments.

        Apparently there was a post of her’s on Instagram a year ago where she discussed cutting back her son’s speech therapy ($500) a month and using her state’s special needs resources ($60) – and the accompanying image was of her in a pool wearing a $6K Cartier bracelet.

        The whole thing is abhorrent.

    • charo says:

      It’s called “CONDITIONAL Love” –

      not that “unconditional love” we hear about.

    • My3cents says:

      “Rehome”? I’ve old heard it used in regards to puppies and dogs.
      This is really heartbreaking. I hope this little guy has truly found a loving dedicated family now.

  2. savu says:

    I am VERY curious about how this was all handled legally. Did they surrender him? Find another parent and sign away their parental rights? Is there a chance he was never legally adopted in the first place?

    All the stuff about “there were so many things we weren’t told” just made me laugh out loud. When you had your children biologically, you had no idea who they’d be or what issues they’d have. But I bet you wouldn’t give them up if caring for them was difficult.

    Sounds like he’s with a much better family.

    • Meg says:

      oh good points

    • Scal says:

      “there were so many things we weren’t told” is clearly some kind of ploy for sympathy to make it look like it’s the adoption agencies fault somehow.

    • janey says:

      My 8 year old son has a rare bone condition. I also wasn’t told!!!! We’ve had a heck of a week and I did wish, for about 2 seconds, that I could get in my car and just drive away and let someone else handle it. But you don’t, you keep showing up with a smile and reassuring words, committed to your ‘team’ and you deal with the disappointment and downright trauma of it some other way, but under no circumstances do you give up.
      I’m disgusted by these people, I don’t know who they are but I do feel sorry for them because they will never know how amazing, funny, clever or whatever else this child is because they gave up. They won’t get to see him succeed, just as they now won’t witness his struggles. They won’t get to see him live an amazing life and more fool them frankly, they didn’t deserve him in the first place.

    • Margles says:

      This is actually a dark side of adoptions. There is nothing illegal about signing over your parental rights to another adult. People can do it and do it for many reasons (candidly, that’s how adoption works in the first place). But there is a grey market of children being passed around because they are special needs or for darker reasons.

    • Mel M says:

      So freaking pathetic. My oldest has significant special needs, epilepsy, non ambulatory, lots of stuff we weren’t told about either! It’s been harder then I ever imagined and gets harder every year but there is no way I could just give her up. These kinds of people make me physically ill. The thought of giving her up would never enter my head and I don’t think that’s even legal because she’s mine biologically? The fact that he’s adopted must’ve made this ok legal wise I guess? This is absolutely revolting and these people aren’t fooling anyone except maybe their all white followers. And the term rehomed used for a human being is absolutely effed up.

      • Margles says:

        I mean, it’s perfectly “legal” to give up a biological child for adoption. That’s how adoption works. But whether it would be moral or ethical in a particular case? Totally different question.

        These people sound vile.

      • S says:

        This is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen, and not only should these people be shunned off of social media, they should be shunned forever in real life as well or, at the very least, be on CPS’s radar for the rest of their lives to monitor their other children.

        Giving up a child is an agonizing decision, and can absolutely be the right one, but it’s always THE PARENTS who have the problem, not the child. When a teenage girl without resources or experience gives up a baby for adoption, or a drug addict relinquishes custody of kids they can’t care for, it’s done so in the child’s best interest.

        When a middle class family of influencers can’t be bothered to fulfill their parental responsibilities because it doesn’t fit in with their brand, it’s true that, that child is better off anywhere but the home of such sociopaths, but I’d argue it also shows that so are their biological (or other adopted) children.

        Children aren’t objects to discard when they get less cute, more difficult or unprofitable. These people are absolute monsters.

      • Mel M says:

        @margles-
        I must’ve posted at the same time as you because I didn’t read your comment before. Ok see I didn’t think you could just easily give up your parental rights to a grown child for no reason other then you don’t want them. I have no knowledge of how adoption works so I assumed either you gave up a baby or you had to be legally not fit or something or couldn’t provide a home for yourself or CPS was involved.

      • Mel M says:

        @s- yes that’s exactly what I was thinking when it came to the whole adoption situation.

    • reef says:

      Has this been confirmed he’s in a better home? I mean it’s just their word right?

      • Poisonella says:

        What I thought too. CPS is on this- my friend’s ex turned her in to CPS in order to gain traction in the divorce. They loved visiting her mcmansion in the gated community. Hope he’s not attached to that name because sweet Jesus- Huxley?

    • BearcatLawyer says:

      A lot of people who surrender kids to new homes like this do so via powers of attorney, which can be downloaded online and signed in front of a notary public. No court involvement, no CPS or adoption agency oversight, and all perfectly legal.

      If Huxley was adopted through a US adoption agency that works with agencies/orphanages in China, it is possible that they relinquished him back to this agency who placed him with a more appropriate family. They may then proceed by legally undoing the adoption in family court to pave the way for his new parent(s) to adopt him. If he was adopted directly from an agency or orphanage in China though, I doubt they have notified or sought help from the agency/orphanage. I think it is far more likely that they signed powers of attorney to give him up to his new family.

      What irritates me to no end about people like this is that today there is so much more compassion and tons more resources for special needs kids. My older brother is autistic, and when we were growing up in the 1970s, he had NONE of the legal protections and very few educational and therapeutic options. They think their life is so hard in 2020? B#$&*, please! They have NO IDEA what our family went through back in the day, and they should thank the supreme being of their choice they never had to experience it. End rant.

      • Sally Sunshine says:

        Yep, my MIL signed over rights to an adopted child to her sister about 30 years ago. My MIL/FIL adopted her, had her for a few months, the sister couldn’t conceive after her first biological child and lost her shit and threw a fit about wanting the baby and MIL gave it to her. There was no court proceedings or anything. Let me tell you, my jaw hit the table the first time I heard this story! (The baby is all grown up and a lovely soul.)

    • Tiffany :) says:

      Yes!!
      ” there was a lot more special needs that we weren’t aware of, and that we were not told,”

      Most kids aren’t diagnosed with autism until after age 3, so the idea that it should have been diagnosed and they should have been informed seems absurd to me. What this family did seems really gross to me.

      • Debra Horn says:

        I have a son with multiple special needs. Life with David has never been easy. He was born at 24 weeks…a preemie twin who’s brother died after birth. It has taken a village of people–doctors, nurses, aides, teachers, paraprofessionals, and many others—to get him to the point where he is today. He has cerebral palsy and epilepsy, and has had hundreds of life threatening seizures over the years. At times, I have felt like a mother, nurse, and EMT all rolled into one. But I never, ever gave up on him. I feel very sad for that child who was “re-homed”. Very sad.

    • NatureLover says:

      I don’t care which avenue they used to adopt this boy, but there are so many programs, school, specialized therapy and unending resources in regards to autism today as opposed to 30 years ago. They are disgusting and should be ashamed that they chose this route to “rehome” him as he is at a very special age and he will not understand what is happening. I think that he will remember this period of his life and it will affect him later in life, but more so sooner than later.
      But most importantly, the should be abolished for YouTube for their deceptive behaviour and I would think that what them have done should be considered criminal. I hope that their entire support base evaporates like lighting a paper ballon. They should not be on ANY family influencing program and it’s disgusting that they classified it as “re-homing”. I will now go and vomit from their actions.

  3. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    “Forever home,” isn’t this a phrase used with foster pets? It’s so gross.

    My first instinct is to shame them, then I recall a documentary about a family at its wits end due to a violent and disruptive special needs child. Then I look at these photos again, and i see a toddler, who doesn’t appear angry, sitting on his mom’s lap.

    Just got through two minutes of the video with their attempts to cry- vocal changes, facial expressions, both making sniffling sounds… with no tears whatsoever. I’d like someone like EyesForLies to comment on this, but I think I know what her opinion would be.

    Edit: found this… a teacher with special needs experience gives her opinion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLp1uXVNP8U

    • runcmc says:

      A lot of their word choices are used for pets, not human children. Truly shows how they viewed him. Poor kid.

    • Noodle says:

      @notsosocialbutterfly, are you FB friends with Renee (eyesforlies)? If you are, post the video and ask for her opinion. She’s pretty open and willing to share what she sees when she’s given short videos or links. If you aren’t, I’d be happy to post the video to her and ask! Her insight would be SO interesting in this situation.

      • BL says:

        Yes Noodle! Do it!

      • Noodle says:

        @BL, @notsosocialbutterfly, I posted the video and asked Renee (eyesforlies) for her thoughts, and this was her response: “This is a complex situation. I do see sadness in their video–genuine sadness. There are cases where children can suffer from serious mental health issues where some people are not capable of caring for a child with such issues. That could have happened here. Without all the details, its is hard to say. I would rarely support a re-adoption but if the parents were incapable of dealing with his issues, it may be for the better.”

      • BL says:

        Thanks @Noodle!!

  4. Léna says:

    This is so infuriating. I don’t know them, just saw the comments on the video and people praise them for trying. TRYING. Will they have done the same with a biological child and gave him up for adoption? Don’t think so. Poor child.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      The praise is probably coming from other white people who don’t view non-white kids as real children. And from phony “Christians” who will support other phony so-called Christians — as long as they are white! — despite doing the most horrific, un-Christian like things. There is a big segment in the US where “Christian” is code for white.

      • NatureLover says:

        I call those people Sunday Christians. Their behaviour during the week is appalling and yet they go to church and claim to be Christians, but they actually are not. I don’t go to church every Sunday, but I can assure you that as a Caucasian woman living in the south, I act more christian than they do every day. In fact, my children were somewhat shunned when the other schoolchildren asked why we didn’t go to church. My youngest son joined just to feel accepted, but I hear these Christians at parties speaking badly about others in the room! I have also been given the up and down look at many gatherings at some social events, but I turn around and walk up to them to say hello as they know me and I know them. Most of my closer relationships have stopped giving me the look but I think that is because I don’t gossip and I don’t talk behind someone’s back and I am not a horrible person. It’s hell living in a small southern city where everyone goes to church and you are looked at like a three headed alien if you don’t go to church.

      • josephine says:

        Yup, that’s all these people have to do is declare themselves Christian, and that gives them the pass to do any despicable thing they want to. The church is becoming a place to gather the sickest people and protect them under the guise of religion. This is not really a new thing, they’ve just become much more aggressive and much more open about being evil. They have no shame at all.

        I really feel for the geniunely devote and religious people out there – there are so few outlets for those who actually want to share religious devotion and experiences.

    • Hoot says:

      The thing I don’t understand is it appears that they already had three young children (one of them still a baby) when they adopted Huxley in 2017. Their hands were very full caring for their bio children, yet they just had to adopt another? What the !*#? did they think would happen with their time so divided between four very young kids, all of whom needed a lot of attention because they were so young? On top of this, their adopted child turns out to need extra-extra-attention, something they didn’t plan on. The capper is that after adopting Huxley, when they had to have been stretched to the limit (emotionally at least) with four young children, they went ahead and had another bio baby. w*t*f? Having that final baby tells me they had no intention of putting in the time, effort, and love required to help Huxley be his best. I sure hope his new parents can give him the love and attention he deserves, bless him.

      • Some chick says:

        H is probably better off.

        The baby might have been an “oops baby.” Or maybe not.

        But at least H is not stuck with these morons.

        I feel for the other kids, TBH. Look how beggy they look.

  5. Daisydio says:

    Re-home? Like a dog?

    • Lady D says:

      Exactly like a dog. They actually used the word re-home. I have no idea who these people are, but I hope they never cross my path. It’s rare that I feel rage, okay that’s a lie. Other than the mention of Trump, it’s rare I feel rage but these two? I hope this ends their fake loving family show.
      Her oldest daughter in the one picture is a total mini-me of her. They have cute kids, I hope they stay healthy.

      • dlc says:

        I was thinking their other kids are going to have MAJOR issues. If you are too difficult to care for, well, mommy and daddy already gave away your sibling. Yikes!

  6. Erinn says:

    Holy f-ck man.

    Here’s hoping that sweet little boy finds some amazing parent(s) who love him for who he is, and who help him thrive.

    I’m repulsed by this, but also, hopeful that SOMEONE will step up and give that kid a better life than these two morons would have. I’m actually… kind of surprised that they didn’t make this part of their ‘brand’. Had they been supportive parents documenting some victories and struggles while raising an autistic kid, they could have probably become a decent voice for spreading awareness and bringing comfort to other people who might be struggling.

    The thing that pisses me off the most is that they spent the time doing all these evaluations, and just decided to throw in the towel. They’re probably making good money doing this influencer crap. They would have the means to bring in extra help, and to find programs that would help with early intervention to give the kid the best chance possible at some kind of normalcy. These organizations absolutely exist – it seems like they just didn’t want to put in the extra work needed to accomplish that, and that’s a sorry f-cking excuse for a parent.

    Are the other kids going to look back and say “hey remember that brother we used to have?” – when they get older and start questioning things, I think they’re going to have a lot to unpack about how their parents just threw in the towel when things got hard. You can’t have a ton of trust in your parents when they pull this kind of bullsh-t. You wouldn’t ever want to go to them with a problem, or be able to trust that they won’t do the same thing to you. I feel so bad for ALL of their kids.

    • Kim says:

      @erinn I understand a good deal of outrage about this is because they DID make him part of their brand. Apparently a load of videos featuring Huxley’s adoption and care were monitized and they also gained thousands of followers because of it.

      • Lua says:

        Oh really?! Well that’s terrible! Did they know he had special needs when they adopted him?!

    • FranT says:

      They adopted him knowing he was developmentally disabled-he had brain cysts and other medical issues. They were shopping around in 2018 for another adoption for a kid with a disabiltiy that “seems hard, but is actually pretty easy”

      What I want to know is which doctor they paid off to say it would be better if he was with another family. No doctor worth anything is going to suggest that.

      • Another Anne says:

        I don’t know…I’m thinking the poor kid may be better off in another home instead of with these idiots. Let’s hope his new mother will give him the love and attention he needs.

      • schmootc says:

        “Seems hard, but is actually pretty easy”? Jesus! Who does that? I’m not a parent, so I won’t pretend to understand the struggles of parenting, but at least I’m self-aware enough to know I wouldn’t have made a good one.

      • Trashaddict says:

        I give you a lot of credit for your insight, schmootc. That’s why I don’t butt into other people’s business about whether they want/have children or not, or tell them I think they should. They know themselves better than anybody else.
        Also this is why I waste no time on “social influencers”. Pseudo-perfection pseudo-modesty hiding narcissistic personality disorder. And not very well, I might add.

    • Noodle says:

      @Erinn, if I were their child, I would never go to them for help after this. I wouldn’t be able to help think, are they going to abandon me too if I am too challenging for them?

    • lucy2 says:

      Excellent points.
      I hope this child is with a family who TRULY loves him and will give him a wonderful life.
      I can’t imagine how much this is going to mess up their other kids, both in the future when they’re old enough to understand it for what it really is (especially with their whole lives put on youtube!), and now. They have to be worrying if they will do something that would make their parents give them away too.

      My BFF from childhood’s brother is special needs with developmental disabilities, and I spent a lot of time with their family and others with special needs children. I saw a lot of parents struggling and doing their best, often without a lot of help back then, but they all did everything they could for their kids and fought hard for them. There are also situations where a family truly can’t handle the physical or medical needs of a child, and a different living situation, usually a care facility, is needed – but that’s always for the child’s benefit, not the parents’ inconvenience. And I’ve NEVER seen anyone refer to that kind of situation as “rehoming” like a pet.

      • Erinn says:

        I was born in 1990. My younger brother is on the autism spectrum. We lived in a rural town our whole lives – there is such a huge difference in resources now even just compared to then. My parents struggled at times, but they did the best they could given the options they had. My brother went to speech therapy, got IPP programs for math, but otherwise was a good student. He’s definitely on the lower end of the spectrum but he’s just… so amazing. He cares so deeply about people in a way that even I can’t imagine feeling. He’s hilarious, and he’s so talented. But he does struggle with picking up on subtle queues and sarcasm, and some life skills things. It breaks my heart to think that someone else would have even considered just casting him off, and it makes me beyond ragey.

    • pomoerium says:

      Oh trust me they would have been the worst advocates for autism. I have asperger syndrome and that puzzle piece emoji she posted is meant to represent Autism Speaks’ logo. An organization hated by the aspie and high-functioning autistic community for their belief that autism is a disease that should be cured, not to mention their anti-vax stance. I encourage everyone to read the lengthy « controversies » part of their Wikipedia page to really understand how horrible they are.

      I wish this amazing child would have been adopted by non garbage people in the first place and I hope this doesn’t set back his progress too much. I mean the dog rescue lingo they used? They can go to hell.

    • Shazza says:

      I really HAVE to find that twitter thread that exposed a lot about these folks.
      #mykastauffer used crowd sourcing to get money for Huxley’s therapy while renovating a $700k house and wearing a $6k Cartier watch in the video asking for help. How do people support these parents? #cancelthestauffers
      #mykastauffer still has #huxley up on their website and has been using him for profit even though he’s been “rehomed” for over a month. Trash city.
      They gave him up then went on a trip to Bali. It also showed him (a 2-3 yr old)with duct tape on his thumb to prevent him from sucking it then another pic of her 7 year old daughter sucking her thumb-no tape.

  7. Agirlandherdog says:

    I… am just at a complete loss. They talk about that little boy like he’s a pet they’re getting rid of because of behavioral problems they don’t want to deal with. I mean, her exact word usage is what you see people use on facebook posts looking for a new home for their dog. Wow.

    • Shazza says:

      Evidently she even used #adoptdontshop on a post about him! Did they just throw money at the adoption agency or what?

  8. Angie says:

    This is disgusting. I love how she explains feeling like a failure. Hmm. Yes. Because you are. This isn’t motherhood. You don’t give back a child.

  9. Kate says:

    What they did was absolutely horrible. It sounds like this little boy is better off without them, I hope he is so loved.

  10. Ali says:

    ‘Rehome’

    That is pathetic.

  11. Carobell says:

    I understand wanting the best for your kids, but they wouldn’t have ‘rehomed’ one of their biological children.

  12. Penguin says:

    this doesn’t sit well w me. wtf??? she looks for sympathy? what if one of the kids she birthed had special needs? would it be up for adoption? the hassle is just too much to bare omg!/s

    my mum was adopted we’re talking in the sixties and apparently something was wrong w her eyes do to some sort sun damage(?) idk the term but after her adoptive parents found out, they adoption agency basically asked my grandparents if they wanted to exchange my mum for another child in a couple months. my grands said no cause if they would’ve been lucky to have a kid no matter the disability they would keep and find a way to provide for them.

    i say this cause i thought that agency was gross when my mum told me that story as teen and this is disgusting now that these people have treated this kid like a walmart puppy

  13. leena says:

    I am speech pathologist and have worked with both children and adults on the autism spectrum. I have worked with children that were placed in residential school programs because their needs are so high that it is extremely overwhelming for the family to handle, especially when there are other children in the home. It sounds terrible to send a child to live with another person however I have seen first hand the physical, mental and motional toll taken on families with children with extreme special needs. I have never seen this YouTube family so I don’t know what their situation is but they aren’t the only people to have made this difficult decision.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      I can understand having to make the decision to put a child in an assisted living situation because it is better for the mental and/or physical safety for all involved, but you still can remain their parents by visiting, supporting and loving them. That I get and would not judge. But these creeps have just given the child AWAY. There’s a difference IMO.

      • Lady D says:

        And they did it using ‘getting rid of the family pet’ language.

      • Mel M says:

        Yes there is a difference. What if one of their biological children got into an accident and it resulted in a TBI or something and they ended up being a totally different child physically and mentally and completely dependent on them, would they “rehome” them too? That can happen to anyone, people forget that just because you birthed a completely healthy child doesn’t mean it will stay like that forever. When you have a child that is the risk you take.

      • Lula says:

        Yes to this. Absolutely there can be an inability to be a full-time caretaker for ANYONE. But you wouldn’t put your biological child up for adoption just because you couldn’t be their caretaker. They would be put in a residential living situation, you would visit on weekends. You don’t stop being their parent.

    • Your cousin Vinny says:

      I don’t know these people, either but I also wondered if the medical professionals intervened and recommended he go to a different family if they felt that these parents were not equipped to look after his needs sufficiently. That was almost how it was worded? I don’t even know if this is something that happens.

      Either way, I feel very sad for this beautiful little boy. All children deserve peace and security, but perhaps those who walk with autism need it even more. I pray he is resilient and this does not disturb or harm him.

      • Esmom says:

        Somehow I don’t think that’s the case. I work for a non-profit that supports people with disabilities and sadly many of them have parents/caregivers who aren’t really fit to care for them sufficiently. It is what it is. Sometimes they have their own undiagnosed issues. At least none of them are trying to re-home their disabled kids, though.

        These people are real monsters. I also hope the little boy finds peace and love.

    • Sayrah says:

      I agree. Just last week there was a biological mother who threw her autistic 9 year old in a canal. At least these people realized their limits and hopefully he’s getting more suitable care now.

      • Lucky says:

        I thought exactly the same thing. These people are gross but at least they didn’t kill him. I can’t believe I actually had to type this.

      • Sam the Pink says:

        Yeah, and those cases happen more than people think. We had one nearby last year – mother killed her autistic daughter with carbon monoxide, and my family lives near the Miami case. I get how awful these people are (I have no sympathy) but at least this little boy seems to have gone to a better place. I find her language very distasteful (she sounds like he’s talking about a dog). But my hope is that he is far better off now.

      • schmootc says:

        Yes, it’s definitely better that he go to a different living situation in instances where parents might cause the child harm. The language is just so ill-chosen though!

    • Louise says:

      I work in a similar area and I do think its very simplistic to say x or y but its very difficult to care just as it is with elderly parents. I do not know the circumstances but I am not that quick to judge.

    • Selena says:

      Thankyou leena. Lot’s of judgement here using personal experience to justify vilifying people, (not just this family) that have reached the end of their tether. Support systems? great. But what happens when that support goes home? The family, not just the parents, but the entire family have to cope and sometimes they just can’t. Numerous examples of murders, serious neglect etc that occur because people just can’t cope sometimes. Don’t judge folks, you don’t know what is happening in their world.

      • Mel M says:

        Yes these people are being vilified and rightly so, we should all be disgusted by this and not hand wringing because “every situation is different”, no this is a real life little boy here that is old enough to know what’s going on. That’s who our main concern should be with and who we should be feeling sympathy for and trying to protect. With all of the information out there about them (and I’ve check their social media accts and it’s not good with lots of people feeling very sorry for this “beautiful family” instead of that little boy) and the situation we have enough to base our judgements on. Their wording alone speaks volumes of how they viewed this child. They no longer have to deal with him so they don’t care, they are free and clear. How do we know he’s in a better situation? Because they said so?? Ok.

        We don’t live near family and even if we did they wouldn’t be over helping all the time. She’s my daughter. I’ve reached the end of my tether plenty of times and that’s never resulted in me giving up on my daughter and won’t end up with me killing her. There is no choice for me, I have to be strong and keep pushing through and I will because I’m a human being that knows right from wrong and loves my child. They wanted all the head pats when they adopted a child with special needs but it got tough and he was more trouble to them then he was worth and they took the easy way out. There is no way you can convince me otherwise or that they would be doing the same if it was one of their biological children. So because these people didn’t kill him we should feel sympathy for them and thank them? Do you think the parents that killed their children with special needs are monsters or do you feel sympathy for them because they reached the end of their tether? Where do you draw the line? If it get to the point where my husband and i aren’t able to physically take care of our daughter because she’s too big and we are too old and safety is an issue then we would look into a home for people like her where they have all of the equipment and training but we would STILL be her parents, we would still visit and take care of her as much as possible.

        All of these white Christians are also anti choice every life is sacred people but they are unwilling to do the heavy lifting if said child doesn’t fit into their life the right way and you know this because they are also the ones to vote against State assistance and Medicaid which is where we get pretty much all of our help because our insurance barely covers anything.

      • Mel M says:

        Also the framing of this from them is very much blaming the child. The problems were his and not theirs in any way shape or form. They were perfect and they TRRIIIEEEDD but it’s really his fault.

      • Ange says:

        I agree it’s better the kid goes to a home better able to handle him but these people SPECIFICALLY wanted a special needs child, monetized the shit out of getting him then got rid of him the second he got too hard. They weren’t misled, they knew exactly what they were signing up for and used it for their own benefit. It’s revolting, they commoditised human life and deserve all the scorn for it.

      • Isa says:

        They’re deleting and blocking anyone that posts negative comments.

      • Some chick says:

        They have invited judgment by their youtube lifestyle.

        And by the framing of it as a pet adoption gone wrong.

        He is a CHILD.

        A person!

        Disgusting.

    • Rose says:

      I am also a speech pathologist who works with SPED kids; I get punched in the face more times than I care to count. There is definitely an ugly side to SPED that never gets talked about. I’ve also seen how families can completely break down without adequate support (my state has next to nothing for autistic parents; you’re pretty much on your own). I’d rather he was placed with another family than end up dead in a dumpster somewhere.

      I have seen quite a few families with evangelical ties adopt children of color, yes even with developmental disabilities, as some sort of vehicle to showcase their piousness and faith. When things start to get rough—when the other kids get attacked, when medical bills skyrocket, usually I see them get made wards of the state if the family doesn’t have enough support (other family, church or otherwise) to help share the workload.

  14. ME says:

    Well this is a new low…

  15. court says:

    For the record, there are not “plenty of resources”. Resources are highly dependent on where you live. During the pandemic, most of those resources were yanked away. I’m not defending this family, but severe autism is no joke. I have devoted my entire life to my child, we’re one of the “lucky ones”, and I still don’t know if I’ve done enough.

    • epc says:

      I was coming to agree with this part of the story. Resources are most definitely NOT widely available and generously-provided. My 35-year-old son is on the spectrum and we have had to manage on our own for much of his life. Of course, autism was not widely recognized when he was young, but we have had to provide most of his specialty care through educating ourselves and providing it ourselves. It was a life-changing diagnosis for all of us including his younger brothers. But – just to be clear – we never considered “re-homing” him. Disgusting.

      • Trashaddict says:

        epc, yes, not widely available and especially not for adults with autism.
        My teen is not on the severe spectrum which makes life easier but confusing for others because they may expect more normal behavior than he can offer. I’m confused too, sometimes I think I’m underestimating him, then he gets confused by stuff I think he should know by now. We were blessed with a lot more services when he was young but schools do not adapt to different learners terribly well.
        We’ve been really fortunate to find one-on-one schooling for him and he’s feeling more confident but trying to develop social skills in his age group is really difficult.

    • reef says:

      These folks are rich. I’m betting they did a cost-benefit analysis and realized he cost more than he was bringing in with views and sponsorships and now that they have more kids they can make money off of that instead of “Huxley”.

  16. Mumbles says:

    Digusting people. This makes me sick. I can’t help but assume they felt they could do this because he was adopted. They wouldn’t have done it to one of their genetic children. I don’t get the YouTube personality scene but I hope this brings their “career” to an end.

  17. Cg2495 says:

    Re-home?! Poor child! He is being treated like a pet. This is terrible.

    • L84Tea says:

      I am so sad and sick for that little boy. He’s literally being treated like an animal who won’t stop peeing on the floor. They are disgusting people.

  18. TheOriginalMia says:

    Rehomed? As if he was a pet. GTFOH. Disgusting. I hope his new family is able to help him overcome his abandonment issues.

    • Severine says:

      Exactly. Forget his autism for just one moment. The abandonment issues will be long-lasting. My sincere hope is that he actually doesn’t remember this time in his life because he is so young. I don’t know who this family is but their moral compass is not pointing “due north”.

  19. anneliser says:

    There are in fact not nearly enough resources for children with disabilities and their parents. I have never heard of these people and don’t really like anyone who tries to monetize their family life, but it is possible that they were told he would do better in a home where he could get more individualized attention since he was one of five. That’s the most charitable read.

    They may well be total jerks who got in over their heads, but please don’t go spouting off about the mythical plentiful “resources” available for these families when government resources for those with disabilities are woefully inadequate in the best of times and are usually the first thing on the chopping block when hard times arrive.

    To give one small example, my state, like all the others, has a birth-to-three system for children with suspected delays. The testing wait time is usually 3-6 months, and I know numerous parents who have been told that their kids are behind and need help, but the state only provides services for those who score off-the-charts low (like, bottom 5%). Most of my friends are, like me, fortunate enough to have the resources to pay for any needed services, but that’s not true of the 50%+ of kids who qualify as low-income.

    I freelance in the nonprofit sector and have worked with numerous organizations that serve children and adults with disabilities, so this isn’t an abstract issue to me, and I know what I’m talking about.

    • AMM says:

      That’s a shame about your state. I hope people are working on fixing that. I’ve been lucky enough that in the two states I’ve lived in (on opposite coasts) to have a great resources. My son has a high functioning developmental delay. He’s just a bit behind in speech and reading. We got him into the 0-3 year program pretty quick, and then transferred to the public school system after three. They were all great and everything went fast after we got an IEP (I think they have like a maximum of 2 weeks to respond if you have an IEP). We did end up supplementing with private resources with our insurance since they school system is overwhelmed and I felt like he didn’t get quite enough time with therapies. But the programs we used in both states were amazing. It’s a shame that some places don’t prioritize these programs.

    • schmootc says:

      I read a book not to long ago, The Great Pretender, that covered part of the way we ended up where we are today. People with disabilities and mental health issues used to live in asylums, which were unpleasant, to put it mildly. Because JFK’s sister got a lobotomy, this was one of his causes. So his administration did his best to get rid of the asylums, with the idea that funding would then be parceled out locally and people would end up in better situations. Of course, as so often happens, that funding never materialized. Society got the first half done, but failed on the second half and we’ve got our current half-assed situation. It’s very sad/disappointing.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Yes. Thank you, anneliser. Plenty of resources, absolutely not. Not in my experience anyway.

    • Eavan says:

      thankyou for providing some logic and context. I feel like there is a lot more behind the scenes and I hope this family did what was in the best interests of the child. if he needed far more support/resources and medical care they were not equipped to provide, then this is the right deciison for him. its easy for us to judege iwthout having experienced this.

    • Ange says:

      They wanted a kid with special needs though. Anyone searching for that should be well versed in what is available in their area to help them manage their child that, again, they specifically requested. If they didn’t do even that basic research prior and it turns out the resources weren’t there that makes them even worse IMO.

  20. Ashley says:

    As the parent of an autistic child who I fight for every damn day, I’m truly disgusted.

    • smcollins says:

      I’m right there with you. My 4-year-old daughter is nonverbal autistic and reading about these people makes my blood boil. They knowingly adopted a special needs child and when things got too hard they discarded him? I don’t give a shit about their reasons, as parents you play the hand that you were dealt no matter how challenging, and you do the best that you can. The fact that he was adopted makes it even more disgusting, as if adopted children are disposable, because like everyone else has stated I have *no* doubt that they wouldn’t have even entertained the thought if it were one of their biological children. These people are trash, plain & simple.

    • ab says:

      same here. not much shocks me any more, but this is truly disturbing. I would be more understanding if they said he was in a residential treatment program or something so he could get the best possible care but no, they literally gave away their child. jesus christ.

  21. ChillyWilly says:

    What selfish a-holes. So if their biological children turned out to have special needs would they give them away too?? Probably not. I don’t understand why people adopt children when they clearly do not love them unconditionally as they would a biological child.
    They totally adopted this sweet little boy to get more followers and $$$.

  22. LeaTheFrench says:

    This is beyond revulsing.

  23. Scal says:

    Okay as a fellow mom of autistic child I really really try hard not to judge other parents. I get it, it’s tough and there have def been days/nights when I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and just quit. Resources are limited. It’s a fight to find help. Except you don’t get to quit on your kids. They clearly never thought of him as their kid but as a accessory that they bought.

    BUT THESE PEOPLE? “rehoming?” “new mommy” “forever home” YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD NOT A DOG. Things got tough? He’s 4. You’re his parent. These people are garbage. I’ve typed out a bunch of different things in my rage, but really these people are garbage and CPS should look into taking their other kids away. They aren’t fit to be parents.

    • anon says:

      Hear, hear, Scal.

      I’m also a mother of a son with autism. This is truly despicable – but alas, legal.

      #OUTLAWREHOMING

      • Sam the Pink says:

        You don’t think children should be able to find better homes?

        My family lives near Miami. You know what just happened there? A mother with a severely autistic 9 year old into a lake, and she drowned him. And he wasn’t adopted, he was her biological son. Her defense was that she reached the end of her rope and just couldn’t deal with it anymore. Horrible case. But would he still be alive if maybe, the mother had been able to find a better situation for him? You think kids who are in genuinely bad situations should be forced to stay to teach bad parents a lesson? What a weird take to have.

      • Cinnamon says:

        @Sam I completely respect your take on this and the story about the poor child in Miami is heartbreaking. However I don’t think you can compare that case with this one. This couple knowingly adopted a child with special needs. They were fully aware of the challenge they needed to meet and for YouTube subscribers, and all the money that came along with it, they willingly went ahead with the adoption for their social media content. They had a choice and if they doubted their ability to care for this child for even 1 second they shouldn’t have gone forward with the adoption. Instead they adopted this boy, created a life and family for him for 3 years and then decided it just wasn’t for them and “rehomed” him.

        The mother in Miami presents a totally different issue and her defense that she just couldn’t deal anymore is pretty cavalier. She had the ability to give up her child for adoption at any point along the way before killing him. I understand that’s a horrifically difficult decision to have to make. Maybe she felt guilty about that choice and couldn’t bring herself to do it? Who knows. And I’m not saying she had an easy life or that putting up her child for adoption would have been a simple decision. But she had the opportunity to help her child find a better home over the past several years and instead choose an option that ended both of their lives.

        The common denominator is both of these cases could’ve had happier endings if the parents involved didn’t make such selfish decisions.

      • Sam the Pink says:

        Cinnamon, I am not trying to be mean, but your view is a bit naive for me. 1 – do you really believe a 9 year old child with severe autism would have any meaningful chance of adoption? Really? I mean, really? I can condemn murder while still having empathy for the situation. Ideally, she would have been better off just leaving him somewhere to be found, but let’s be real – you don’t think most people are aware of the state of the child welfare system?

        And “special needs” is not a catch all term. Special needs can range from mild issues that might require low level intervention, all the way up to extreme treatments, including lifelong institutionalization. A person might be able to deal up to a certain level, and then not when the issues pass a certain point. The other thing is that you say it is selfish. The thing about that is most people who kill special needs kids tend to emphasize that they did it “for” the child – they see it as saving them from a fate the regard as worse – namely either state care or not being able to function normally. It troubles me that what one person casts as selfish, another sees as merciful and altruistic.

        I don’t think this family wanted a special needs child in any context. I think they wanted the clout and kudos that came along with it – that’s my problem. They also made a lot of money off this little boy and seem to be keeping it, when in reality it should be designated for his care.

        But people tend to think love is enough, or if you just love a child hard enough, things will be okay. The reality is not so – it’s hard, and messy, and sad. But it’s not about love when things like this happen.

      • Cinnamon says:

        @Sam I by no means am naive. I am fully aware of the sad state of our foster and adoption system, as well as the lack of resources available to struggling families . But having empathy for a woman that killed her child using the excuse that she had enough? Nope. I have empathy for the dead child, not his mother who could have left him on the doorstep of the police station but instead decided that drowning him was the better choice. And this woman didn’t just snap because she was pushed to her limits. She faked her son’s abduction, tried to drown him once and he was rescued by neighbors, so she then had to try again and succeded the next time. So while your empathy is admirable I’d reserve it for a woman that actually deserved it.

        I do agree with you 100% that these YouTube dolts just wanted the child for social media exposure and financial gain. Their whole situation reeks of selfishness and privilege and if I never have to hear of someone being “YouTube Famous” again, it will still be too soon!.

  24. Case says:

    This made me ragey last night. I don’t know who these people are, but…wow. You don’t just abandon your child and upend their life because they have special needs. They say it’s because his medical issues were more complicated than they were told, but like…it’s the same situation for parents whose children are born with special needs! Parents don’t know what they’ll be faced with, but when adults agree to have/adopt the child, they’re agreeing to care for the child regardless of mental or physical issues.

    I have a cousin with severe autism. He’s non-verbal, has behavioral issues, and requires constant care. He will the rest of his life. And he is a wonderful person. He’s so sweet and loves his dad more than anything on this earth, and his dad feels the same way about him. The thought of just giving up on kids because they need extra love and care makes me physically ill.

    These vile people clearly never considered their adopted child one of their actual children, and they clearly didn’t try very hard to get him the help and service he needs — help that is much more easily accessible for folks with influencer money. They probably just didn’t like that he didn’t fit into their picture-perfect, Insta-worthy family. Truly disgusting. There’s no excuse to “rehome” a child. He’s not a pet. Heck, I wouldn’t even rehome a pet. These people are heartless and I doubt he’s with a “forever” new mommy. I sure hope so, but he’s most likely in the foster system, scared and confused about his new reality.

  25. Zapp Brannigan says:

    So for three years he was their little boy, with brothers and sisters, Christmas, birthdays, Nanny and Grandad, hugs, kisses, days out at the seaside, bedtime stories, first steps, first words, first everything and they “rehome” him. As a now adult adoptee I remember being threatened with being “sent back” as a kid, to think that someone would actually do it? This is beyond words, I am near tears at my desk.

    Monsters doesn’t cover it really, and before someone comes on here to cape for them and how difficult a special needs child is, and how we don’t understand GTFO with that nonsense, when you have a baby, either adopted, fostered or biological you care for that baby and do all in your power, no way would these two send back a “defective” biological child. Maybe some good can come out of this and adoption processes be reviewed to weed out these fair weather parents.

    • Ella says:

      “when you have a baby, either adopted, fostered or biological you care for that baby”

      Unless you don’t. Unless you give your biological child up for adoption because you can’t care for them, as many millions of mothers have done.

      • Zapp Brannigan says:

        that’s what you got from my comment?

      • lizzieb says:

        @ella. I don’t think most mothers/parents surrender their children because they have special needs. The teenage pregnant child trying to give her baby a better life doesn’t toss a coin and decide to keep a child if they are “perfect”. Even a parent who later relinquishes a child often does so, heartbroken, due to their own circumstances. Are we to judge the single mom with cancer and no family for looking out for her child? As mentioned above he could have been placed in assisted living with them remaining as parents. I’m trying to have compassion for these parents but it is not coming easily, and am not sure they deserve it.

      • Case says:

        @Ella I’m pretty sure Zapp is talking about people who actively choose to have or adopt children.

    • Laughysaphy says:

      @zapp, I just want to tell you that whoever threatened to send you back was a massive a-hole, and i’m so sorry that you experienced that. I can’t tell you how much that hurt my heart to read. Please have a virtual hug, if you want it.

    • nicegirl says:

      Zapp, sending air hugs your way. Gosh I’m so sorry, those assholes threatening a child like that, I’m disgusted.

      How devastating to lose your siblings and home at such a young age. I hope Huxley is truly in a better home with a loving parent available.

      I don’t know of these folks, but cannot stand them. Sorry, not sorry

    • Flowerpot says:

      Oh Zapp I just want to hug you. I can’t imagine how awful it is to be told you should be sent back. You didn’t deserve that and the fact that you’re nearly in tears at your desk over someone you don’t know shows what a good heart you have.

    • Your cousin Vinny says:

      @Zapp, I’m so sorry you were threatened with that as a child. That must have been terrifying and beyond hurtful. I hope you have found peace.

  26. Jessica says:

    This is honestly one of the most risible and abhorrent things I have ever read. “Rehome,” “forever home,” this is the terminology of animal rescues. I am aghast. These are not good people. I don’t care, I don’t want to hear it. They do not deserve to prosper.

  27. dumbledork says:

    I live in Illinois, and there is not, in fact, plenty of resources. If you have plenty of money, then yeah, maybe you can get what you need. Not saying this as an excuse for these a’holes.

    • Esmom says:

      I’m in IL too, with a son on the autism spectrum and I’ll say money can’t make up for the lack of resources. It’s agonizing. But not an excuse for what this family did, imo.

  28. Lenn says:

    They are Both completely fake crying in this video.

    • Jess says:

      Yep, fake tears and horrible acting, and the only time they cry is when talk about how this has affected THEM, not that poor child! She starts tearing up saying thanks to those who were positive about it and it meant so much to her. These people are sick selfish assholes.

  29. Paperclip says:

    Kids as accessories. I see the classics never go out of style, do they?

    Ugh…poor kid. Bless him and his new parents. Likely best he’s out of it.

    Shame we can’t ‘rehome’ the Stauffers.

  30. anon says:

    This is why I fucking hate the adoption industry, which I have covered as a writer for years.

    I also have a son with autism – he is my biological son. So, let me just start there.

    As a mother and parent, my son came into this world as is. And I love him and care for him and have gotten him every service he could possibly have needed while he was in school. Does he have issues? Of course he does. But in million, billion, gazillion years, it would never occur to me to “send him back” or put him up for adoption or abandon him in any way.

    Because that’s what these so-called parents did. It pisses me off when adoptive parents are portrayed as some kind of superheroes when they are allowed to “rehome” their adoptive children. And guess what? There is a HUGE, booming unregulated business in the area of rehoming. I’ve seen adoptive parents floating their kids for rehoming on Facebook. They don’t have to go through normal legal adoptive procedures. Nope. They can post on Facebook and find another home for their rejects.

    Am I being harsh? Absolutely. Because real parents do not give up on their kids. They take the good with the bad and they fucking deal with it. They face all kinds of potential legal threats up to and including removal of their children for this kind of abandonment. They should be forced to ante up and take care of these kids just like biological parents. It’s pure hypocrisy that these people claim that they “love my adoptive children as if they were my own,” when, in fact, they are given tax breaks and huge legal loopholes to divest themselves when the going gets tough.

    Now: On to this little boy. Think, for half a second, about life from his point of view. Clearly, he’s old enough, on some level, to know – or will know – that he was booted because he isn’t “good enough.” He probably already knows that he’s different. He is confronting a life of emotional challenges from this upheaval from which I don’t think he will ever fully recover.

    He is a human being – not an unhousetrained puppy. He deserves better than these two snowflakes who have no excuse for saying “we didn’t know” or “we didn’t realize,” etc., etc.

    Newsflash: NONE OF US KNOW what we’re getting when we have a baby. That’s life. That’s how it is. It’s a game of genetic roulette and it could be fine and it could be down syndrome, or any number of issues. But you stick it out and deal with it – like real parents. You don’t dump a human child for whom you took legal, moral and emotional responsibility and move on. In real life, among real parents, we would be stripped of our kids and potentially jailed for abandoning our kid because he or she was “too much trouble.” That’s not how parenthood works.

    So I hope these two are banned from any future adoptions. They are not parents. They are *collectors* who basked in the approval and glow of attention they got for adopting a kid without thinking about what’s best for the actual kid.

    One last thought: Rehoming should be outlawed. Because a lot of kids have been human trafficked under the radar and without oversight through rehoming – and sold into the homes of pedophiles, sex rings and all manner of human hideousness.

    Also: My son is now a college junior with a 4.0. He’s a young adult making his way. His autism is a gift – not a burden.

    #OUTLAWREHOMING

    • Léna says:

      Hello Anon, if you have any of your reference of your writing on adoption, I would be really interested!

    • gah says:

      thank you for this thoughtful comment.

      I would also appreciate links to your work on adoption.

      my daughter (since the age of 2) has had an autoimmune disorder that causes such severe symptoms that many kids with her condition end up in psych wards, on anti-psychotics and chronically ill. she’s nearly six, newly diagnosed and stable with a mountain of meds every day.

      the past four years have been such a nightmare- i’ve been on my knees asking whatever gods might exist to help me get through it- suicidal ideation in a 5 year old is scary as are daily 5 hour destructive incomprehensible tantrums. many days i wanted to drive myself right off the road just to make it stop. she’s injured me in countless ways and yet it’s all been down to her illness.

      as of today we’ve made it through- at least through this part of the journey. reading this story breaks my heart for this poor child. the only positive I can see is that whoever chose to adopt him a second time is going in with eyes open and that he doesn’t have to live with these self-absorbed parents any longer.

  31. Also Ali says:

    I read “re-home” and special needs and thought it was a version of home schooling because of being shut in.

    Not one part of me thought I’d be reading about a child being given away like a dog.

    Wtaf?!? I just can’t with this today. What soulless selfish people.

    Please universe let this little boy be with a decent and actual human family this time.

    • anon says:

      It happens every. single. day.

      Rehoming is a huge business in the underbelly of the $14 billion dollar adoption industry. But rehoming is usually under the table because it’s not a great look for an industry so tied to “appearances.”

      Just check out this story from Arkansas:

      https://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2015/mar/05/re-homed-by-legislator-girl-6-sexually-/

      • Chaine says:

        You are so right, @anon. I used to work somewhere that had some dealings with department of social services, and I was really shocked to learn about children being adopted and then returned. There was one child that had this happen twice. Families would adopt siblings because they wanted a baby or toddler and it was a sibling adoption where they had to also take the older child. They never really wanted the older child and resented it, so these adoptions were more likely to “fail” and the older child would be put in a children’s home and shopped around for a new family. They would keep the younger one which was the only one they had actually wanted to begin with.

    • Esmom says:

      That’s what I thought, too, AA. I’m shocked and disgusted.

  32. Kitkatdanke says:

    I’m reading more about them from (former) fan pages. Apparently they used to tape his thumb because he sucked it, but they didn’t do this to the other siblings. There’s also a video of them making him say “thank you” for dinner but not any of the other kids. She also went to Bali for over a month and didn’t take him, which kind of negatively affected his attachment issues.

    It sounds like they really weren’t cut out for this, and didn’t care much. She’s also being super vague about what his needs were and how she could not meet them, but so many people are rushing to her defence having zero details, which is mind boggling to me.

    Hopefully this starts a conversation about kids being exploited on YouTube. I’m sure those videos of him are still making her money.

    • Eda says:

      They surrendered him to foster care (where he remains) and then went to Bali.

      • Kitkatdanke says:

        You’re right. But also I find that also really revolting, leaving a kid in foster care and then going to Bali to make more content? Really puts the videos she made over the winter in perspective.

    • Scal says:

      I also went and ready those pages. Apparently they also always referred to the kids as these are our children xyz and our adopted child H. Always with the caveat that he was their adopted child vs just being their kid

      • Trashaddict says:

        Wow. He will be scarred for life, but it would have been worse if he stayed with these awful parents.

    • holly hobby says:

      Wow perhaps maybe he never had special needs but they were tired of him and now needs a new toy? These people suck.

    • Guest with Cat says:

      Yeah their reasons for giving him up probably reside in the same aether as whatever it is that Obama has supposedly done that we all know about so Trump doesn’t need to say it.

      I’m just appalled to learn today from the comments here how rehoming works…in the USA…in 2020. My God. I can’t believe there is no oversight in an age of awareness of child trafficking.

      I have had special needs animals that have cost me and my husband tens of thousands of dollars in vet bills and so much hard work, much of it very gross, honestly. And we did a sufficiently good job of it that our pets were able to live out their normal life spans. And we didn’t set out to adopt special needs animals. But living beings sometimes have hidden ailments or develop them or catch them.

      And to apply the same terminology widely used for pet adoptions to a human child, a child of color no less, is beyond disgusting.

      Clearly he was a commodity to them. They don’t see the future man he will become. That they had the privilege of playing a role in shaping. But they didn’t view it that way.

      I saw someone say that it’s acceptable to celebrate human adoptions as “gotcha days.” I really would strongly advise against doing that. Especially if your child is a different race from the rest of the family. It just adds another layer of “othering” that will creep into their environment. By all means celebrate the birthday. And of course reminisce warmly about the joy felt on the day of adoption in conversations. But singling out a day and making it stand out like a birthday, well definitely at least discuss with the child how they really feel about it.

  33. Amelie says:

    I’ve been aware of the Stauffers since they pretty much adopted Huxley. In fact that’s how I started watching them occasionally, their recommended videos of going to China to adopt Huxley is how they ended up on my radar. I didn’t regularly watch their channel so when I saw the title of People’s article it really hit me in the gut since I am very familiar with this story and it had been awhile since I had checked in with them.

    From the get go, the adoption was a struggle and it became clear the Stauffers were not equipped to handle a child with special needs. The Stauffers realized pretty much right away that the adoption agency in China hadn’t been upfront about all of Huxley’s issues–this is something they covered a lot in their videos. I do not think their intention was to adopt a kid with special needs and that’s what they ended up with. And the mother Myka particularly had a hard time bonding with Huxley (Huxley seemed to often prefer the company of the dad or at least it was usually the dad holding him and interacting with him in videos). There were questions he might be special needs or just be developmentally delayed due to all the trauma of living in an orphanage. They didn’t get an autism diagnosis until several months after Huxley arrived and I have a feeling there was a lot going behind the scenes because as time went on, the Stauffers would feature Huxley less and less in videos. Viewers picked up on this and would always ask where Huxley was and while they would feature updates on him, it became clear they were struggling and that Huxley wasn’t integrating well into their family. I also started having major alarm bells when they decided to have another baby (biologically). It was clear they were struggling to parent Huxley and their other kids so for me it didn’t make much sense to bring in a new baby to add to that stress. It’s possible the addition of a new baby was too much for Huxley to cope with.

    We’ll never know the full story but at the end of the day, Huxley is supposedly with a new mom who has “medical training” (assuming a mom who is familiar with raising a child with special needs) and is doing well which is all I care about. I don’t necessarily think the Stauffers should be condemned but there is definitely more to the story that we’ll never know due to legal reasons. I have a feeling there was an incident that triggered the removal of Huxley and CPS and the adoption agency got involved and that’s why they can’t go into detail. I also think medical professionals probably kept telling them their home environment wasn’t conducive for Huxley or at least they needed to stop featuring their family on Youtube–I really do think the Youtube thing and the invasion of Huxley’s privacy were probably a major factor.

    I think this story is important because it features the “ugly” side of adoption–when they don’t work out. It’s not something you often hear about but it does happen and it’s pretty heartbreaking all around. I really hope this story is also a lesson for Youtubers constantly putting their kids on camera for the Internet to consume.

    • H says:

      As an adoptee, the ONLY reason a child should be given back to adoption agency is if that child is a danger to your family. Otherwise, suck it up Myka-buttercup and work with resources to get the child help. (Looking at their white smiling faces in their upper middle class home, you can’t tell me they don’t have the time or resources). Like with Central Park Karen, I have no sympathy for them.

      A friend of a friend adopted a 7 year old out of foster care and 4 years later had the adoption reversed. I agreed with her decision. Why? Child had SEVERE mental health issues. I won’t go into too many details but he murdered animals and threatened to kill mom. Prior to that she tried for years to get help, with medication, therapy, specialized school, etc. When it became obvious he was a direct danger to her and others, she had him hospitalized and reversed the adoption. These people don’t have that reason to reverse their adoption.

      • Amelie says:

        We actually don’t know why they had their adoption reversed. In the video they said they couldn’t speak freely due to legal reasons so my guess is the courts were involved along with lawyers. If that’s the case, my theory is either CPS was called by medical professionals or maybe the adoption agency called CPS. I don’t know how these work but do adoption agencies ever do check-ins with families? All I can say is every time I saw that kid on video my heart broke. He always seemed lost and floundering. I don’t think Myka and her husband are evil but I can also say after watching enough of their their videos I could tell they were NOT the right family for him.

    • Case says:

      “I do not think their intention was to adopt a kid with special needs and that’s what they ended up with.”

      When my parents had me, I’m sure they didn’t intend to have a child with a physical disability. But I do have a disability, and they love me, took wonderful care of me, and helped me thrive!

      MANY kids have special needs of varying degrees — physical, mental, behavioral, educational, etc. When people actively choose to be parents, they agree that this is part of the deal. Kids are going to have issues, and parents are there to love them and give them the support they require. This family actively sought to adopt a child. I don’t care how much they knew or didn’t know before he was adopted — many parents don’t get an autism diagnosis until the child is a few years old. Not knowing the child’s needs beforehand is no excuse. No parent knows when they have biological kids, either.

      • Mel M says:

        Thank you! Exactly!! Like I said above, when I had my first child i did not “intend” for her to have significant special needs and to be taking care of her 24/7 for the rest of her or our lives. That’s a cop out and a terrible “excuse” to try and justify what these people have done.

      • Ange says:

        Plus they absolutely did intend to adopt a child with special needs, they decided that before they picked this one. In an early video after the adoption she specifically says the doctors told her Huxley could be severely disabled and told her not to adopt but she did anyway. Not to mention she also says in the video ‘my child is not returnable’ 😑

        https://youtu.be/2VMjA4VBCSQ

    • holly hobby says:

      That’s not true about the China agency not being upfront. I know someone who adopted several children from China – all special needs and it was fully disclosed up front. There was no oopsie surprises. Of course the person who did that is capable of taking care of the kids and has the wallet to back it up.

      So Myka Michelle Duggar lite, please spare me with the excuses.

  34. Kalmia says:

    I don’t watch “influencers” and generally find them kind of annoying. Sounds like the child is better off without them.

    I will say though, that it is hard to truly understand what parents of some autistic kids go through. One of my friends has a a low-functioning teenager. Getting help in their state and rural county has been pretty futile. His child is physically large, very combative, and sleeps little. I don’t think his boy will ever be able to live independently, and so far his wife has refused to consider any situation that removes the son from their home. There are long days of OCD/ repetitive behaviors, yelling, physical confrontations…it never ends. My friend is on a first name basis with the local police because of runaway situations. My heart breaks for him. I think the only reason he is not divorced is because neither parent wants to leave the other as the only guardian day-to-day; it really takes two or more people to manage.

    • Trashaddict says:

      NPR had a really good story on this. About the toll on marriage and the other children in the family. And the restriction placed on daily life. This was about a more severely autistic child who was placed, I think as a teen or young adult. The biological parents in the NPR story didn’t strike me as monstrous. This was after many many years of raising their son. I think he was lucky enough to get a placement in a good group home and tolerated it well and I sounds like they still visit him. And in a way, he got to be in a milieu that was better designed for him.
      Sadly for adults in Illinois, the waiting list for this is years and years.

  35. Darby says:

    I was hoping you would cover this story. I’m so blown away by this. I watched their content occasionally and he seemed like such a cute, sweet little boy. It did seem to me like he hadn’t bonded with the mother but he had with the father and the siblings. I can believe his struggles were more than they could handle with 4 other kids to deal with. I can’t understand how anyone with 4 little kids think they have time for an additional child with language and cultural concerns along with developmental ones. I could have understood getting more help for him, respite care, residential care ( not sure what’s available in their area) but to stop being his parents and his family is horrible. They took his home country, language, culture and name from him and now abandon him. There are rumors that he didn’t go to a “forever mommy” that he was institutionalized and abandoned. How are their kids going to deal with this? Will they still visit him and spend time with him? I suspect not. The fact that she monetized and crowd-funded for his adoption is despicable.

    • Case says:

      I watched some videos they had with him last night and he does seem like the sweetest little boy. My heart aches for him. Obviously I can’t tell from a few clips what his needs are, but I can say that the mother didn’t treat him very nicely and seemed to treat him differently from the other children. There was one clip of her talking, in FRONT of the the child, about how they never feature him on camera because of his tantrums. These are horrible people. I suspect he had issues that are very standard for children with autism (exhausting and challenging but not unmanageable) and they just didn’t want to bother.

  36. Izzy says:

    So weird how their biological kids just popped right out with instruction manuals.

  37. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I’m sitting here with my mouth on the floor.

    What. The. Fuck.

  38. Meg says:

    Im torn, i agree with previous comments that this sounds awful and they dont come across well
    But i also remember the news stories of parents dying of carbon monoxide poisoning with their autistic child in their cars at home in the garage because they were at their wits end. even parents of healthy kids are stretched to their limits so i really hesitate to come down too hard here. And thinking they were honest with his new guardians and theyre up for it with training for special needs kids and intangible qualities needed, unlike this couple

  39. Mle428 says:

    Re-homing your child is PEAK 2020, is it not?

  40. Lua says:

    Here’s the thing. I worked with children with severe autism and it’s exhausting. Most couples of children I worked with broke up over the struggles of what comes with that severe case of autism. Children with severe autism can’t verbalize abuse. This is better for him than keeping him if they are not a suitable match. They did the right thing, and they shouldn’t be shamed for that. If you haven’t worked with these kiddos, you wouldn’t know. It takes a special person to do it full time.

    • H says:

      Sorry, no. I’m a former special education teacher at a locked down psychiatric facility. I’ve seen parents who struggled with their children’s behaviors, violence and learning problems, but 99% of them would NEVER consider abandoning their children unless they were a direct danger to the family. I’ve know families who’ve taken out a second mortgage on their homes to pay for specialized care. Yes, it does take a special person to do that full time, but children are not dolls to be discarded, or puppies who can be “rehomed.” This mom and dad are extremely selfish imo.

      • Sam the Pink says:

        I’ve worked in the mental health sector and have a different view. You ever met a 6 foot 4, 230 pound 21 year old with severe autism, who communicates in grunts, constantly harms himself and lashes out at his parents? I have. You ever met a mother who is constantly bruises and battered because said son has fits so powerful that he can break her ribs? That same mother has confided to me that she has fantasies about killing him and herself? And you say “resources” but they are scarce. The prevailing attitude is that parents should suck it up and do what is necessary, because, hey, its your kid. We do not want to admit the messy, gray reality of dealing with severe disability.

        And I meet people who have child with ASD who claim its no big deal. But I always have to ask “what kind are you dealing with? Have you seen the most severe forms of it? Is your child able to hold a job? Go to school? Speak? Care for themselves? If so, you are lucky. The most severe forms can render a person functionless, dependent for life. I cannot fathom who anybody could believe that parents should shoulder this burden alone. I am not defending this particular family simply because I do not know them. But I do know families in untenable situations, and I do not judge them.

      • Case says:

        @Sam “I’ve worked in the mental health sector and have a different view. You ever met a 6 foot 4, 230 pound 21 year old with severe autism, who communicates in grunts, constantly harms himself and lashes out at his parents?”

        Yes! I have met someone like this. He’s my cousin. He’s a wonderful teenager with a lot of needs and issues, and his parents, who don’t have a lot of money, have done everything they can to get him proper therapists, doctors, education, etc. He has other siblings who love him dearly, too. He communicates as you described, hurts himself as you describe, and has violent tendencies. He’s still loved and well cared for, because his parents work their asses off to give him what he needs. I’m not claiming it’s easy on his family to take care of him; he presents daily challenges. But they love him and the thought of even having to put him in a residential space one day horrifies them. And they certainly would never abandon him and completely upend his life. He’s their son. I don’t anyone is suggesting parents need to shoulder the burden alone. But this YouTube family had the money to get this child great doctors and therapists, and yet actually told followers a while ago that they didn’t want to pay for expensive therapy anymore — that cheaper, less frequent therapy would be fine. They did not do everything in their power to get him the help he needs, and therefore I’m very comfortable judging these people. Because frankly, plenty of parents DO suck it up and do what needs to be done for their children.

      • H says:

        Yes, Sam, I have. I had a student who was schizophrenic and violent even on meds. He was placed in our facility by the court because he took an axe to his grandparents – they survived. He stabbed me with a pencil because “the voices” told him to. He was 6’2 and at least 200 pounds.

        Did those grandparents give up on him? Never. They pleaded with the judge to not charge him with assault. Pleaded. It didn’t matter, as when he turned 18, the court put him in jail for the attack. Everyone at my facility was devastated that happened to him. So the Stauffer’s? They can get f-cked.

    • Lua says:

      Edit: I didn’t realize they knew he had special needs and made a profit off of it, so shame away. But I stand by my belief that it is better to have the child in a home that he is wanted than one he is not. That is how child abuse happens, agree with me or not. I’ve seen it. It’s ugly.

    • Lula says:

      I think we can recognize that support is not widely available which can 100% absolutely put parents in an impossible situation-where they felt their lives and the lives of their other children are in danger, which is something that should change, AND the adoption industry is also incredibly fucked-up (read The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption if you want to learn more), AND our societal ideas about adoption are incredibly fucked-up and often tied up in white saviorism ( listen to Broken Harts, about the HART family in CA to hear more), AND the monetization of parenting on social media is incredibly fucked up and I am so curious because we are in the middle of this right now,-we know nothing about the long-term effects of having had to “perform” your childhood, but looking at anecdotal evidence of child stars, it doesn’t seem to bode well. AND I can judge this family-of whom I knew nothing before today-because why did they need to go to China to have another child? Why did they decide to have another child when they clearly were having difficulty with the child they had adopted? Rehoming is WRONG. The trauma this child has now undergone is unimaginable. His bonds now to his biological family and his adopted one have been destroyed. His ability to form attatchments will be severely impaired. What they did was wrong and selfish and destructive.

  41. LidiaJara says:

    My stepdad works in a group home for clients with developmental disabilities and it’s definitely true that some families cannot handle their children. But that happens when the child becomes big and strong enough that they can seriously injure their parents or siblings. That does not apply to a small child.

    I don’t know why anyone would adopt if they were not ready to adopt a child with special needs.

    But even so I think I’m happy he’s not with them anymore. A mom who wants to give you away shouldn’t be your mom.

    This story makes me think about the movement to keep foster kids with their birth families. It’s true that some families are under no circumstances fit to be parents, but many could do just as well, or better, than foster care if they had more resources. The more I learned about that the more my own desire shifted from foster adoption to birth parent support.

    • Lua says:

      Yup. CPS is a joke. My friend and her hubby tried to Foster to adopt. Picked baby up from the hospital and raised her to 10 months. Mom was homeless with six half siblings living with her single parent sister. Dad is in prison. Neither parent wanted baby. CPS ripped that baby from my friends arms when she and her husband were the only parents she had ever known, because mom’s sister wanted another paycheck. Ridiculous. My friend is devastated. That baby is not in a better environment. It’s really opened my eyes as to how little the child’s welfare is taken into consideration.

      • Hoot says:

        @Lua – How very sad and heartbreaking. Yours is probably one of thousands of examples that happen regularly.

  42. TyrantDestroyed says:

    Thanks God I have no idea who the hell is this family but this is appalling. You don’t “rehome” a child you just adopted as if it was a plant, darn even I find it hard when is a pet I cannot image the pain of this little child.
    Even if the child is in better hands because they are obviously awful people (the 2 adults) it’s terrible that they were just handed a baby for adoption and they are able to get away with all this without any consequences.
    I also hated the word adoption trauma. Of course they have to do this about them. Cancel that trash.
    This week has been a wild ride with the Karen’s on full display.

  43. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    They duct-taped his hands because of thumbsucking????????

  44. Malificent says:

    I keep focusing on the newborn in the picture. If you already have a largish family and a child with special needs, maybe the wise choice is to not have MORE children so that you can focus your attention on the kids that you already have.

  45. Allie says:

    How can she speak about protecting his privacy when the little boy and her bio kids had been used as cash cows all this time? Nobody asked him if he wanted to be presented on social media as the autistic kid that’s so hard to handle he had to be “re-homed” like a poorly trained dog.

    I understand that sometimes it’s in the best interest of everyone to change living situations even if it means starting life in a new, appropriate family. They are jerks but in the end it would only punish the kid who has done nothing wrong if he had to stay with them when they clearly do not want him.

  46. Roberta says:

    That is the most infuriating thing I’ve read all week, and I’ve read a lot. “Rehome”?? These people should be prosecuted, or they should at the very least lose all of their subscribers. That is truly disgusting, and heartbreaking. The silver lining is that the child is surely better elsewhere.

  47. Missy says:

    This is disturbing. Truly, it makes me sick.

  48. Nievie says:

    Kids are for life not just for christmas….

    Also who names their child Huxley?

    • Some chick says:

      Satanists. “LOL.”

      Blessings on all who adopt for the right reasons. There is nothing better in life than being WANTED.

  49. SunnyK says:

    As a woman who lost the child I planned to adopt when her social worker decided to place her with her bio-dad (a man who in his thirties slept with her 16 year old bio-mom at a high school party while married with several other kids and left the 16 year old to fend for herself) I am beyond angry with this story. My child was a challenge, her needs were not yet known, but
    I would give everything I own to get her back.
    To hear that anyone would “rehome” a child is sickening to me, let alone post it on social media so that child has a place to look back on later and see how terrible he was treated is even worse.

  50. Liz version 700 says:

    OMG this story made me actually lose it a bit last night. You adopt a kid and use him to build you Mommy brand then dispose of him like he is a puppy. How is this even a thing?

  51. Valiantly Varnished says:

    White couple adopts baby from foreign country and decide to get rid of him because he’s defective. I watch a lot of YT but I dont know who these a$$holes are. Either way f-ck them.

    What’s TRULy gross are all the comments on her IG applauding her.

  52. nicegirl says:

    It was heartbreaking to rehome kittens when I had to and I cannot get with this ‘rehoming’ of children bs

  53. OriginalLala says:

    Gross and just plain awful – this does nothing to dispel the idea that “influencers” are vapid, superficial, narcissistic people.

  54. CMChat says:

    When you adopt *any* child from an orphanage, they are going to have special needs because of the neglect and trauma in the early years. Having an additional issue on top of that makes things more complicated, which is the issue with my son. He was adopted 10 years ago and has thrived for the most part, but the quarantine has been hard for him, like many people with trauma in their histories. We’ve had a rough time. When people tell me I’m so courageous and brave for not giving up on him I want to barf. I have never felt MORE like his mother. It is hard on the rest of our family but we are dealing with it like a family. YouTube people who ask for privacy make me sick in general, and these people—well…

    • sassafras says:

      I was going to say, isn’t it a VERY well known aspect of international adoptions that you’re going to have *some* kind of issue? Whether it’s nutritional, emotional, or physical? Not to say that all the kids are permanently messed up, but you have to be prepared that *maybe* there are consequences of early child abandonment in foreign lands and the trauma of losing caretakers at a young age?

    • Ames says:

      Especially from China, where healthy male babies are much less likely to be made available for international adoption.

      • BearcatLawyer says:

        THIS. Any male baby in an orphanage in China likely has health problems in addition to the traumas and developmental delays to be expected as a result of institutional care.

  55. adastraperaspera says:

    “It feels like they adopted Huxley so he would look good on Instagram and they gave up when it got too hard.”

    Sure does… Guess Huxley wasn’t the child actor they were looking for. I’ll bet a hundred bucks they get pregnant again soon to add to the reality show cast.

  56. CS says:

    We adopted our child as a teenager from foster care – we met her for the first time the previous year. Two weeks after the adoption was finalized, she attacked me so badly I had to get staples in my head – all because I asked her to do her homework. She was proud of it. We spent the next 3 years driving all over the state looking for any and all services to help her, and she spent the next 3 years physically assaulting me, threatening our pets, and telling terrible lies in attempts to get me arrested.

    I am NOT excusing these parents’ actions, but am firsthand aware of the complications of adoption. We were frequently told that our daughter only needed support, stability, and to know that she was loved and her behavior would improve – the untrue implication was that we didn’t love her enough. Instead, we slept with doors locked and had to hide the knives.
    Unfortunately, sometimes the brain suffers so much trauma that it is permanently damaged, and perhaps the safety of the other children in the home was in danger. I don’t have the answers, but it may not all be as it appears.

    • Kkat says:

      That small autistic child is not a danger to that family.

      • CS says:

        A 4 year old can absolutely be a danger to a younger baby. With five kids, no parent can have eyes on everybody at once.

      • sassafras says:

        Four year old non autistic children can be a danger to themselves and their family. So much can happen.

    • JJ says:

      “Love is not enough” is one of the major takeaways my friends and I had from residency training, that conclusion based largely on our experience with severely traumatized foster children and international adoptees.

    • Guest with Cat says:

      I’m sorry you went through all that. I don’t think most of us here have a blanket failure to understand the need for some children, whether adopted or biological, to be removed from a home. Some cases like yours are truly not able to be solved any other way. This particular case, though, raises a lot of red flags, as discussed in the other posts of people who checked out their videos. At the very least I think the criticisms of her choice of terminology are valid.

      • CS says:

        Thank you. I agree that this case has several questionable components, and certainly has valid criticisms. I think you verbalized well the general point I was trying to make – that it’s easy to be angry at parents who remove a child from their home, but until someone lives with a child who has dangerous behavior toward themselves or others, it’s hard to cast stones. And so many people like to sell the idea that there is no difference between adopted and biological children, when in fact, different parenting methods are usually required and it can be a disservice to not acknowledge that. Again, Myka may truly be a terrible parent who adopted for all the wrong reasons and quit when it got hard – I just wanted to show a different perspective.

  57. Keira Lee says:

    It’s really easy to judge them and mock their brand, cos this doesn’t look good on them. But on the bring side the kid will still be better off in a family in US (that is better prepared) than in a system in China.

    • JaneBee says:

      I think you really need to do some self education around this topic before making blanket statements like that…

  58. Chaine says:

    I hope his new parents in the “forever home” file a lawsuit against this awful couple on his behalf to get some of the money they made exploiting him on YouTube. If he really has severe issues, that money should be in trust for him for his future needs. The influencers should not get to keep it.

  59. amber says:

    This is truly awful. Their other children may be traumatized too. Knowing that their parents “rehome” children. They’re probably thinking why not them. Ugh.

    • Ames says:

      That’s the first thing I thought of. What a horrendous thing to burn into the developing psyches of little kids. A, that it’s even remotely okay to do this and 2, that it could very well happen to them too.

      Just … UGH is right.

  60. Disgusted!!!! says:

    I am literally sick! I work with kids with special needs, mostly kids with autism. It. Is. Hard!! And awesome! And amazing. And hard. And rewarding. So many changes in the 6.5 hours I am with those kids, I have often thought I couldn’t imagine having to be there for them for 24/7 when school is not in session, but never once, not even for a second, did I imagine quitting my job because I absolutely adore “my” kids. I guess what I’m saying, as a para educator for kids with special needs, I love each and everyone of them through the horribly bad times and the amazingly good times. I wouldn’t dream of not getting up every morning and going to see them, so I couldn’t imagine if I were a parent waking up and not seeing them!! Now of course I am crying because of the situation these kids are in right now and how much I miss seeing their faces! I know why, the majority of them do not know or understand why. 😢
    I hope their other kids are never in a bad accident and are not able to be the perfect little kids their parents want, because it seems to be pretty easy for them to quit them. 😡

  61. Em says:

    This is disgusting. No, there is no excuse for it. This is a human being and a child. Not an animal up to be rehomed when things become “inconvenient”, even if you weren’t aware of the extent of impairments.

  62. Yeeee says:

    Wow, this is terrible. I always thought their videos were so cringey. The mom seeemed fake and obsessed with fabricating this perfect life. Poor child.

  63. Kyla says:

    I was 18 months old when my biological mother decided she couldn’t handle being a mother anymore. I was a “regular” baby / toddler with no special needs. She left me and my Dad (they were married at that time) and never came back. I never heard from or saw her (or anyone in her family) again, despite living at the same address and same phone # for another 35 years.

    It took a long time, but now I know it was the best thing she ever could have done for me was to leave. Because she left I grew up in a stable and loving home, free from chaos. As an adult I thank her for leaving and knowing that I was better off without her. I wish the same for the little boy in this story. I can’t help but be hopeful that they family he’s with now can love him the way he deserves and give him a better life than being unloved and exploited.

  64. holly hobby says:

    Who are these babymaker wannabes? So they wanted to play white savior to some poor Chinese boy. Then they found out he is special needs so they returned him, like a used toy, to Target? I hope people are dragging them for this. They suck. I wonder if they are holier than thou faux Christians too.

  65. fluffybunny says:

    My kid has autism. I know a ton of people with kids with autism. None of us have ever thought of rehoming our kids because they have a label. We pour money and effort into them to give them a better life. My kid graduates from high school next week first in his class and is going off to college in the fall 4 hours away from home. I’m sure most of this child’s issues also stem from the fact that he’s 3.

    • JJ says:

      Also keep in mind that it is Autism spectrum disorder. Your son has achieved fantastically, period. For children (and adults) on the lower functioning side of the spectrum – nonverbal, severe aggression and self-harm, sexually inappropriate behaviors, significant sleep impairments, etc, etc – just getting through day-to-day life can be extremely challenging and draining for parents and caregivers.

      • Jugstore cowboy says:

        Thank you for saying that. My oldest is on the spectrum and it can be ROUGH. I have no idea who these people are and they sound horrible, but parenting a kid with autism is a special kind of hard. Now I wouldn’t change a hair on her head, but over the years she has inspired both the best and worst out of her father and me.

    • Allie says:

      As JJ said. The same downplaying is done with down syndrome which ranges from individuals being able to live on their own on a basic level to severe mental and physical disabilities. All we ever get to see are the cute toddlers that make it seem oh so easy – but nobody talks about the other side of the spectrum which does exist. Same with autism. Some are functioning, some are highly intelligent and some are very hard to deal with. Every case is different.

  66. Coco says:

    Respect their privacy, in this one tiny little specific instance in which they gave away their child, but otherwise continue to view all the private moments which they have commodified and willingly splash all over the Internet. Oooookay.

  67. McMom says:

    I’m involved in the adoption community and typically this is called “disruption” if the adoption was not yet completed and “secondary adoption” if it was. It is heartbreaking and relatively rare, though it does happen. As much as I hate to think of a child being rejected once again, I hate even more the stories of children who are abused or killed at the hands of their (adoptive) parents. If someone can’t handle the challenges of raising a special needs child, it’s better for the child who be raised by loving parents who can.

  68. kb says:

    Horrible. Disgusting. Vile.
    I hope they are punished in the only way that will probably hurt them- financially. Why didn‘t they use their money to hire a full-time care taker? This could have been so beneficial to Huxley. Do they have any idea what this separation from theonly family he has ever known will do, especially to an autistic child???? It‘s barbaric.

  69. Wendyloohoo says:

    This is not my story, but my ex SIL.
    She had a pregnancy that ended in a traumatic emergency c section. The baby was born with severe disabilities. This small person would never talk, walk, eat on babys own, essentially a newborn forever. The support system was a joke. Resources were (and still are) scarce as so many families need them. Never mind the astronomical medical bills in the low millions. She did not have the strong mental, emotional or financial capabilities to care for this baby. Because it is so effen hard.
    She made the heartbreaking decision to give the baby up to the state for care and adoption. She never had another baby.
    Baby passed away at about age 6 from the disabilities.
    Now what’s upsetting, is that my ex SIL couldve maybe cared for this baby, but couldnt get the same amount of help, financials, resources, that a foster/adopt did. Which is obscene in my opinion.
    Now, that being stated, this influencer family had resources. And the wording “rehoming” “forever home” smacks something you pertain to pets. I get that it’s hard to care for a special needs child. But in reality, this wasnt from her womb. There was no attachment. He was a stunt to further their media fame. So it was easier for them to let go, as the little boy wasnt ,”fitting” in. They taped his thumb to prevent his own comforting. Made him adapt to things he couldnt.
    So it may have been better if hes in a different place.

  70. Mina_Esq says:

    This is grotesque. I am legitimately upset and absolutely heartbroken for this sweet little boy. Parenthood is challenging, but there has never, ever EVER been a moment when I’ve even for one second thought that I’d give up on my child. When you have a tough day, you cry, eat ice cream and then call your own mom (or another resource) to regroup and figure out how to fix whatever issue has come up. When I was in university, I also volunteered for four years at a Saturday respite program for kiddies with special needs. I still think of their sweet little faces and how much they responded to kindness and love. Shame on these people.

  71. Ames says:

    This woman shouldn’t feel she failed as a mom.

    She should understand she failed as a human being.

  72. Ginger says:

    I have a child that is autistic and my sister in law adopted her son and we found out recently that he is autistic as well. It’s hard. Really hard. But never have I thought we should send him away. The same for my sister in law. And any medical expert that thinks you should send them away is a quack. That poor child is going to have a hard time adjusting to a new family. I’m just so outraged.

  73. Sara says:

    I have several friends who have special needs children and holy s*it it IS hard. They’ve got them enrolled in schools where their needs are met and they can reach their highest potential. They work with their kids day and night and they are exhausted. For my friends with autistic children, they have to fight like hell to get the right social services for their kids. Never once have I ever heard any of them say they would rehouse their child with a new mommy in a forever home (that really does sound like giving up a dog that you didn’t realize would be so much work.). I hate Youtube families – they are so fake, their children have no privacy and there’s usually some weird religious push.
    If this little boy was one of her biological children, I highly doubt she’d “rehouse” him. She just gave up on her adopted son and threw him away. Didn’t work out for her family’s obnoxious Youtube posts.

  74. Faye G says:

    It will traumatize their other children. Miss behave? You’ll be given away! Their brother was taken away from them forever, bonds were formed with him, but they were ripped apart. I have no words for how disgusted I am with these people.

  75. Cecilia says:

    My 3 year old son was recently diagnosed with autism. Yes it’s hard a times. It’s a hard job raising any child. But that’s the road you choose when you decide to bring a child into this world or to adopt a child.
    I am appalled by the words “forever home”! These people should never be allowed to adopt a child ever again.
    I weep for this child. Autistic children need stability and structure and an extra amount of love.
    You must give provide needs children with extra special love.

  76. Julie Taylor says:

    A friend of mine had to give up guardianship of their adult daughter with autism and Down Syndrome because the wait lists to move from your parents home into a group home setting when they become adults is decades long. The parents are in their late 50′s and need to consider their own ability to continue caring for her as they age. The one work around they found, so they know that she will be safe when their own health fails, was giving up guardianship. It was a gut wrenching decision and haunts them everyday even though they visit her and take her out multiple times a week. My point is…there are not systems in place to help people cope when they have special needs children, so I’m going to withhold judgement on this family.

    • Turtledove says:

      Julie, That is horrifying! Those poor parents. All the money in this world and we can’t get parents the resources they need. We are failing as a human race. I can’t imagine having to make the choice they did, it makes sense why they did, but it couldn’t have been easy.

  77. sah says:

    This woman is trash and she’s policing all her comments on youtube. I posted a negative comment and she deleted it.

    There’s videos of her talking down to him like a dog. He didn’t fit into her instagram life and she got rid. I hope this is the end of her, she’s made tons of money off this boy and her portrayal of herself perfect mother.
    video https://www.instagram.com/p/CAhOvf8g0tH/

    Hopefully Huxley is with a family that want and love him for being him, not because he gains them followers and money.

    • Scal says:

      That little boy looks so unhappy. He knows ‘mama’ is annoyed and doesn’t like him. And even if he’s nonverbal (If he’s level 3 I could see that)-he can still understand what she’s saying and the tone of her voice.

      Ugh. SO gross.

    • TyrantDestroyed says:

      That video was hard to watch. She seems so annoyed and detached. I hope the Internet takes care of their celebrity status.

  78. Kristen says:

    Could they have not afforded a nurse? A nanny? An au pair? One of those professionals that seemed to be a better fit to care for him? I mean, not everyone can, but I’m surprised and disappointed that THAT’s the solution. I’m just so, so sorry for that little boy.

  79. Kasha Paty says:

    I’m transracially adopted and a special education teacher.

    Transracial adoption is hard. Raising a child with special needs can be very hard. I honestly went into this thinking people were being too judgmental.

    Then I watched the video. YIKES. The crying sounds with no tears, turning it off in a second to talk about her “channel,” making sure to include the subscribe button… they lost the benefit of the doubt.

  80. Maaite says:

    While it’s absolutely disgusting that they gave away their child because he was ‘too much’, they are probably doing Huxley a favor in the long run. Anyone who gives their kid away is a piece of shit and Huxley deserves a family that will support him through all life’s ups and downs

  81. Veronica S. says:

    I mean, they’re trash for exploiting their family like that for a career, but to be brutally honest? This is a good thing. Let the kid be rehomed with somebody who has the patience, skill, and ability to deal with a special needs child. I would rather him grow up with people who respect him and work with his issues rather than punish, resent, or raise him incompetently because of it.

    More parents need to be honest with themselves about what happens if they don’t get the precious, easy-going kid they assume they’ll get before they have children, but I have way more respect for parents who admit they can’t do it and put the child in the proper care of somebody else. I am all for improving the social attitudes toward the non-neurotypical, but we need to stop pretending that it is easy, particularly in places like America where the social and healthcare resources are NOT available to you outside of a certain income range. These people are jackasses. Shame, but now the kid has a chance to be something better.

    • Sam the Pink says:

      I agree completely. an you imagine living in that house after your parents decided they simply did not want you anymore? It must be terrible. While it’s not good, Huxley at least now has a chance with a family better suited to him.

      America has a major issue with things like this. We love to lionize parents of special needs kids as “heroes” when in reality, they are just trying to get by. We do not give them the resources they’d actually need to make their lives better. A colleague of mine has an adult son who is on the severe end of the spectrum and has to live in the full-time group home. People judge her! I’ve heard people mention how she “gave up” on him. I want to smack them, because they have no idea how hard her life is. I do my best to never judge parents who are struggling. I’d rather give empathy and understanding than judgment, because there but for God’s grace go I.

      My problem with this particular family is multiple 1.) she broadcast her son’s issues and breakdowns to thousands of people 2.) she made money off of him in the videos but doesn’t seem to be sharing the wealth with his new family, and 3.) she speaks of him like he’s a dog.

      • Veronica S. says:

        I lived with friends whose children had autism, both on very different parts of the spectrum, and while I loved and adored those babies, there was not a moment where I didn’t think to myself how impossible these kids would have it if they didn’t have mature, financially established parents and lived in a state that didn’t have the social programs ours did. I am all for helping to create a space for these people in society, but people need to stop romanticizing the reality of mental disorders and non-typical neuroses. These are not easy things to handle, and while these two are a pair of jackasses who likely adopted this kid with a white savior complex in mind, even if they *had* loved that child earnestly, it may not have been enough.

        In some ways, I feel like that parent shaming (and usually it’s MOMMY shaming) culture just creates a self-defeating situation where people are too scared or too proud to admit they can’t make it as a parent. That’s not a situation that creates a good environment for a kid. Some people can be decent parents to neurotypical kids (I mean, I doubt even that with these two pricks, but the point being) but legitimately cannot handle strongly atypical children. Fine. They failed. It sucks, but sometimes it happens. Admit that you failed when the kid is still young enough to have a decent chance and do everything in your power to put them with somebody who can properly care with them. It is not worth it to me to see poorly raised or even abused atypical children just so somebody can pretend they didn’t screw up completely and avoid the social backlash.

  82. Kathryn says:

    I see a lot of judgement and hatred here. I also don’t know these people nor do I do “youtube”. I do know what it is like to adopt internationally and the uncertainty that brings. So let us all pray that Huxley is in a better place because in the end that is all that matters. As I said I don’t know this family but their grief seems real Since we are not walking in their shoes let us wish them peace and that Huxley is safe and loved

  83. The Recluse says:

    This poor little boy. He must feel so confused, so betrayed.
    I hope whoever he ends up with will more than make up for this betrayal.

  84. koocica says:

    we are not in their’s place, so easy to judge someone… A kid with special needs is a big challenge, not for everybody, relationships can be destroyed, even for biological parents and kids in real life. I would not judge anybody who is gone through in this “process”, yet feel for the little child at the same time, autism is no joke, you have to have strong relationship, clear mind and faith

    • JaneBee says:

      They actively sought to adopt a special needs child and sought subscriber funding for costs. She monetized his disability and used it to attract sponsors and subsidise her family’s lifestyle – while cutting back on money spent on his treatment.

  85. HK9 says:

    They let some people in this world get away with any damn thing don’t they. It’s a damn shame.

  86. Nanette J. says:

    I am the mom of five boys, four of whom adopted. I have NO sympathy for these two. My husband and I have worked with three different adoption agencies and all three bent over backward to be sure we understood potential medical/emotional issues as well as the fact that, given the nature of international adoption, there might be other issues about which the agency was unaware. Our first adoption was 25 years ago from Vietnam and I’ve watched over the years with some alarm as international adoption became a “thing” among some Christians (a label, incidentally, I claim). Many of these well-intentioned people enjoyed the emotional high of believing they were rescuing a child and all the attention they receive as white people with an adorable baby that looks decidedly different from them but had not really thought through what the rest of the journey looked like. There have been challenges with all of our kids (including the birth son). That is the nature of parenting. You don’t give up.

  87. Lizstarsnstripes says:

    These people. In the end, they used this child whether it was for their own desires for more children or for broader reach or more content. It’s in the details! Giving a child from China a difficult name like Huxley Stauffer just shows how inconsiderate they were of the language barrier. He was truly like a “beloved pet” or accessory to them. God forbid the vague wording is a ploy to create the false public assumption that Huxley did something violent or was a danger to the other children or new baby if that wasn’t the case at all. Only God knows and I pray for Huxley.

  88. Cruz's Forever Mom says:

    My son was born with severe disabilities, which I was not aware of before he was born. I can recall the immediate feeling was like being in a burning building – if someone had shown me the exit, you bet I would have run. We are now six years into our journey and my son is – sincerely – the best thing that has ever happened to me. But most importantly, I want to be the best thing that has ever happened to him. Reading this absolutely crushed me. I get it, I understand, I have empathy, but honestly – I think that our society’s incessant obsession with perfection causes families to feel like disability will end all hope of joy or success. But it’s so. not. true. The problem here is bigger than these parents. That said, they totally suck and I hope Huxley goes on to become the most profitable influencer of them all.

    • A says:

      Honestly–same. I think that the majority of the problems with raising a child who has disabilities in our society is the fact that parents don’t have a lot of help or anything to distribute the workload. They are so alone in this endeavour in so many ways. And for all the progress that people have made, there’s still a lot of people out there who lack patience and compassion and genuine care and love for these children. If you feel alone and overwhelmed, it’s because so often, you actually are, either in terms of you being the only person who’s there to provide the care that your child might need, or because you’re the only person who genuinely cares for the child in the way that they need. This is why there’s so many instances of abuse and neglect when it comes to caring for disabled people.

      I’m not the kindest or the most empathetic person out there, by my own admission. But I feel like if everyone made the smallest effort to look out for one another, including those who are disabled, that in itself would go so far. The biggest losers in all of this are the children, who are also the most vulnerable and the most in need of care. That’s what breaks my heart.

      • Cruz's Forever Mom says:

        Totally agree. Taking care of one another is our highest form of humanity, and that starts at every level. <3

  89. A says:

    I’ve honestly been spending a lot of time trying to find out if there was some genuine reason that they had to “rehome” (UGGGH) the child they adopted, because I didn’t want to think that there were people this bad in the world. And I came up empty. Every last detail about this breaks my heart. F-ck these people. I’m going back to bed.

  90. paddingtonjr says:

    This breaks my heart. This poor child, who already has developmental issues, was given to an orphanage in China, taken from there and placed in a family, and has now been “re-homed”. Even if he is with a good family who can take care of his needs, there will still be feelings of abandonment at some point and who knows how he will act out then. I understand caring for a special-needs child is diffiicult under the best of circumstances, but that’s why you foster or delay the adoption. If there is any doubt, don’t adopt. Don’t say “I want you to be part of my family and be equal to my bio children” if you don’t mean it. It is not as if there aren’t resources this family could have used for support and advice. And what about their bio children? They’re young but they will have some memory of their brother. How can they trust that their parents won’t decide they’re too much trouble at some point?

    My father was adopted by my grandmother’s second husband when he was barely two (my biological grandfather died in WWII). My grandfather was a good man who gave my father his last name and never treated my father any differently than his later “bio” kids. My grandmother couldn’t talk about her first husband, but both my grandfathers had been friends as young men, along with several other couples, so their friends knew who my father’s bio dad was. My father still says that he tried to be the perfect son because he thought that if my grandmother could erase her first husband, she could do the same with her firstborn son. He felt this way even though he had a seemingly ideal middle-class suburban upbringing. I can’t imagine the issues poor Huxley or the bio kids will have.

  91. Jess says:

    These people make me sick. She used adoption to get YouTube views then dumped the poor child when he didn’t fit into their perfect family expectation. They wanted to be martyrs and scream how pro life they are, but they clearly don’t care about his life. They wouldn’t do this to a biological child. I watched their explanation and they both cry only when they mention how this has affected THEM, they cry for themselves instead of the child they just tossed aside. Sick sick sick fucks.

  92. Suzy S says:

    Not the first time I’ve read about people doing this. It’s disgusting. This immediately reminded me of the Christian politician State Rep. Justin Harris and his wife, devout Southern Baptists, who insisted on adopting three sisters, despite social workers who felt it wasn’t a good fit because the girls had been sexually abused and had serious issues (mother was a drug addict and there were always men coming and going), but the politician used his power to override them, insisting they could handle it. Then, after using them in his family pictures when he was campaigning he decided they were possessed by demons and “rehomed” them with some guy who worked at their Christian preschool who turned out to be a child rapist. That’s who they gave the girls to. This guy, the politician and his wife, still refuse to admit they did anything wrong and see themselves as the victims. These people sicken me. They were also ultra religious, hence believing the girls were posessed by demons rather than getting them the help that the adoption centre knew they needed due to their earlier abuse.

    https://abcnews.go.com/US/young-girls-arkansas-state-official-center-adoption-controversy/story?id=34636997

  93. Rachel says:

    I’m going to move beyond my statement that re-homing is a terribly problematic term… I have to wonder – if any of their biological children were born with special needs – would they have sent them away? They adopted this child, he was part of their family (for a not insignificant period of time, not that it matters). If a biological son or daughter, at 2 or 3 or 4 years old was diagnosed with a disorder, would they ‘re-home’ them? When you adopt, you are that child’s parent. Period. There isn’t a distinction unless you value an adopted child less than a biological one. This is heartbreaking for him. I hope he is well loved and cared for wherever he is.

  94. Cruz's Forever Mom says:

    There is no way any of the kids escaped unscathed from this situation. This is an enormous trauma for Huxley and their remaining family. Frankly, I’m a bit surprised that any of their evaluators or CPS workers advised the family to make such a big decision in the first year after childbirth. As a matter of course, they usually tell you not to change jobs or buy a house. It seems like “re-homing” a child you had adopted two years prior would fall solidly within the types of decisions that should be reevaluated at a later time. But again . . . been there, totally get it, and would not have done it.

  95. Lara says:

    With respect to the people who are still supportive of her on instagram- I’m going bring race into this. Because if it were a black family who adopted a white autism spectrum child from Ukraine, kept him for three years, made money off him on youtube, then rehomed him, you would see a completely different reaction. White woman tears apparently lets you get away with a lot of messed up shit.

    • JaneBee says:

      +1

    • Mai Ann Lee says:

      All sorts of people get away with stuff they shouldn’t get away with. Remember that high-ranking woman who cried discriminated because her mother or grandmother didn’t get the top job but just the vice director stuff? Her family is utterly wealthy and utterly well-connected and it panned out just right for her but she nevertheless cried discrimination and in her case nobody did point a finger at her because she is practically a saint.
      But these parents here: Just don’t let her get away with this. At least she should reason a bit more differenciatedly why they failed as parents. Did they pay for therapy? Can they pay? How much money do they have? Did they hire help? Did they seek out free help charity stuff? Did they properly think about what it means to adopt a child BEFORE they adopted him?

  96. angie0717 says:

    Apparently she changed her profile to ‘mom of 4’ already! My goodness, they didn’t even try to send him away for help (whatever that means) and continue to have him a part of the family but instead got rid of him forever! What did they say to their other kids “ur brother is gone. It’s just the six of us now”??? How do we know he’s gone to a great home? I’m inclined to believe she sent him back to China! I’m so angry and horrified about this. It’s all so criminal!

  97. Marianne says:

    I don’t know anything about them or their lives. I had never even heard of them before this came out. I will say that using terms like “rehome” and “forever home” are a little questionable. But am I crazy to think that this doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea? I mean of course this totally sucks for the kid to be bounced around like this…but if the parents were struggling to take care of him, isnt it better to find a more suitable home? Id rather hear a story like this than hear a story of a parent in over their head lost their cool and strangled their kid to death.

    • Mai Ann Lee says:

      It is true that sometimes parenting a child with special needs is too hard. It is true that sometimes bringing in outside help or giving a child to an outside institution is the best option.
      But these people are wealthy enough to pay for help. For a part/full time nanny. For a special needs school. There is even free help. They have a relatively big house and not some small cramped appartment. But: They didn’t really try, did they? Did they ever go to some kind of therapy courses … autistic self-help group with this child? They just didn’t try and they just didn’t want to spend any money on this child. Calling them out over this is very much the right thing to do.

      I have had the suspicion that the adopted child in many families often does rank lower than the birth child(ren). Does anybody have any experience with this?

  98. Awkward symphony says:

    I too never heard of them until now. The language used to describe him as if he’s a pet is just so disgusting. Looking to their insta you could see he was closer to the father than the mother. She seems to bond more with her biological offspring. So sad. I hope when he’s older that he sues them for his share of the money they made off him. They clearly feature him a alot in their YT channel.

  99. JaneBee says:

    Kudos to Celebitchy for calling out BOTH parents in the headline.

  100. Mai Ann Lee says:

    I am so disgusted by this. First they “adopt” a child from China aka they “buy” some colourful diversity to beautify their white family for on-screen instagram performance. Then they whine about being over-challenged and that they didn’t know …. yeah, sure. BE HONEST. What they thought but didn’t dare to say is: ### “We had thought that our little coloured child would get us more followers. Like Madonna. Or Angie. And some foreign countries don’t check up on parents as much as US institutions do. We thought he would help us make more money. But this is a difficult child and as he is only an adopted child we get rid of that one because: We are not willing to spend a bigger amount of money and time and attention on that adopted child. Instead we would rather like to spend money on our birth children because we love them more than the adopted one.” ### It is disgusting. And repellent. And perhaps international adoptions need to be scrutinized a lot more.
    And let me ask that family: Would you give away any of your birth children if they turned out to be autistic?
    I am appalled that there isn’t a bigger public outcry and that these “parents” are still popular. Jeesus even the K family has never sunk that low.