I’m really upset about this whole incident with Megan Thee Stallion. Two weekends ago, Megan was out partying with some friends, including Tory Lanez. Megan and Tory were reportedly dating or hooking up – they were intimately involved, let’s say that. And Tory is reportedly the one who shot Megan in the foot, possibly twice! We still don’t really know what happened, but it went from “Meg got shot” to “Tory shot Meg” very quickly. We also know that there was some kind of fight or disagreement which preceded the shooting, and that Meghan has not (as yet) pressed charges against Tory. People are confused, but people are also making jokes. And Megan isn’t here for any of it:
Black women are so unprotected & we hold so many things in to protect the feelings of others w/o considering our own. It might be funny to y’all on the internet and just another messy topic for you to talk about but this is my real life and I’m real life hurt and traumatized.
— HOT GIRL MEG (@theestallion) July 17, 2020
God, I feel so bad for her. To have this happen when she was just hanging out, partying, having a good time, being young. Every interview I’ve read with her, she comes across as such a good person too, someone focused on the future, someone who has a million plans for world domination, but someone who also wants to be at home with people she loves. And she got shot (allegedly) by someone she trusted, someone she considered a friend and maybe a boyfriend. The levels or betrayal and trauma and hurt. Poor Meg.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.
wishing her a speedy recovery !
I just get a big smile when I see her; I love her so much. I hope she can heal, both physically and mentally from this.
I don‘t know anyone involved here but…
1. Partying? Right now????
2. Press charges so not another black woman is so unprotected and gets shot!
We gotta stop victim blaming and blame the person actually responsible for the abuse. None of this is Megan’s fault and no one should be pressuring her to do anything especially if she’s not ready and willing. Tory did this, not Megan and if he abused someone else later down the line that would be on him not her. We have to move away from such a mindset
I fully agree with not blaming victims of violence, and yes, it’s her choice how she wants to deal with it. Also I wish her a speedy recovery and I very much pray (in my own atheistic way) that her foot heals nicely and she can dance again. I also want to send her a hug, because nobody deserves to deal with this kind of crap.
HOWEVER: I think it is okay to raise an eyebrow about people being out to party, in the middle of corona. Those two things are entirely unrelated.
I didn’t even see what the OP said about partying during a pandemic until just now 🤦🏾♀️. I’ll say this: I’m an ER nurse and I’ve been staying at home unless I’m at work or have to go grocery shopping and I think EVERYONE should be adhering to social distancing guidelines and wearing a mask while out in public. We’re never gonna get a handle on the spread of this virus if folks can’t stop being selfish and comply
This is more about the “no snitching” mentality prevalent in the culture than victim blaming. Don’t get me started on the time I heard Cam’ron in an interview saying even if he knew he had a serial killer living next door, he wouldn’t snitch. Biggie’s murder still goes unsolved in part because of the people involved not willing to snitch. I grew up in that type of community and it’s something that disgusts me, because it protects criminals and abusers, because they wait for the streets to dole out their own justice. Except you have a bunch of collateral damage in the meantime until that happens, if ever.
“2. Press charges so not another black woman is so unprotected and gets shot!”
We don’t say this to victims of abuse. We don’t say this to victims of rape. Don’t say this to Megan.
This 100%. Not victim naming or blaming however this culture of not wanting to snitch is the terrible. This woman could have been killed. She traumatized for sure. Those that were with her speak for the girl cause either she don’t want to or can’t. Do something before that psycho does it to another female.
Thank you, Kaiser, for how you are writing about what happened to Megan.
In the midst of the biggest social movement in 50 years, I am so disappointed to see the opinions of some of my fellow CBers on this. As someone whose job is partially under the purview of the Violence Against Women Act (and I cant believe I have to say this but thanks 2020), it is never a woman’s fault when she is a victim of violence. It doesn’t matter what she was doing, what she was wearing, what she was or wasn’t saying.
Yes we should all still be social distancing. But the US has had no national response to this pandemic. We are under the worst leadership we’ve ever had, in every way possible. We have individual governors making horrendous and dangerous decisions in their states. And I invite you to look at your own communities, families, friend groups. A whole hell of a lot of people are relaxing their social distancing. I’m not and don’t agree with it. But you do not need to say on every Meg thread that she shouldn’t have been partying. We all f*cking know that. She’s a victim of violence, full stop.
Please consider the fact that if this was a pretty young white woman who was sexually assaulted while partying, you would not be bringing up the partying. As you shouldn’t. So why are you doing it in this instance?
It’s really annoying and disappointing that most people seem more upset at the partying than Meghan getting shot. Same thing happened with other stories about this.
Thank you for this. I’m seriously going to take is as racist, classist trolling from here on out if I see continued criticism of her for being the victim of a shooting. *This* is partially how her shooter goes free: the same “but why was she out in a pandemic?” “But why was she hanging with violent people?” “But why is her best friend not helping?” “But was she mouthy?” that is being and has been asked in this comments section is also being asked by the people investigating the case and the eventual prosecutors and jury candidates. The same “I don’t know her” dismissive trash is being and will be used to insulate and protect the person who shot her. It really is a nightmare in these comment sections sometimes, as it is everywhere a Black woman has been victimized. This really needs to stop.
Exactly, Osito, all of this. And if people focusing on the partying aspect don’t think of themselves as trolls, they need to take a long, hard look at why they feel the need to keep bringing that up re this story. Bringing it up is placing blame on her. FULL STOP. People will always find a way to blame women who are victims of violence, especially black women.
Completely agree. Also, the shooting didn’t happen at the party and from the photos it doesn’t look like that many people. If people want to place blame about the party then blame Kylie Jenner, it was her party. Megan is a victim. Misogynoir seems to be always present.
I’d still be upset at the partying if it was a young, white woman. I feel horrible that someone she trusted shot her; I understand not wanting to press charges, all that. But, I also would hope that Meghan, who has said numerous times that she wants to open a nursing home, would understand that attending numerous parties (thought we don’t know the size) in the midst of a huge spike in cases and hospitalizations in Los Angeles County is irresponsible.
I think we are complicated and nuanced people who can hold two feelings at the same time. The partying is unrelated to her getting shot. I raise a brow at the partying and sympathize immensely with all the emotions she must be coming with right now.
Raise a brow, but bring it up after she has recovered, or don’t and *bring up the general issue in a story that is actually about partying*. It’s been covered a million and five ways til Sunday why people aren’t listening to guidelines on this, and this situation doesn’t change that. I don’t care if Megan wants to go to school to be Florence F-ing Nightingale herself, *the story here is that she was shot and that she now has to BEG for people to empathize with her as a victim of a shooting.* People contain multitudes, but they’re losing empathy in an effort to be “right”. What if she had been jogging in the park? Does that make it better? Ok. Then let’s say she and a group of friends were social distancing while jogging in a park AND ONE OF THEM SHOT HER.
You can’t have it both ways — you check your victim blaming, or you passive aggressively raise eyebrows whenever a victim isn’t perfect in her victim hood, which *again* just enables violence.
Exactly. As Malcolm X stated, Black Women are the most disrespected and unprotected. I don’t even know where to go with my pain and exhaustion that is generations old. It never ends for us. To all the Black Women reading this, I love you, I support you, I believe you, and I stand in solidarity with you.
Just fyi…. the government actually presses charges, and witnesses or victim survivors agree to cooperate and give testimony or not. Sometimes without their testimony, the govt has no case, so no charges get filed. But in the case of a shooting, the govt likely will press charges regardless of if Meghan cooperates (which is her right to do or not). If the ballistics of the bullet in her foot matches his gun…. that’s enough.
Thank you for saying this.
Poor Megan. It’s good that she’s speaking out about the way she’s being treated, and the gender and racial dynamics at play. It’s disturbing that there are people who think this is something to joke about, or in some cases, to bring up reasons why there are better victims of misogynoir and violence against women than her. She’s been through a lot in a pretty short period of time.
It’s absolutely unfair that black women aren’t allowed to be vulnerable or hurt. They are expected to be strong and moral and all these insane standards we don’t hold anyone else to.
Meg is the target of violence by a romantic partner. That comes with so much to unpack for her.
She needs empathy and support, not jokes at her expense.
If this happened to Taylor Swift imagine the difference in reactions
You are so right- can you imagine if it was Taylor?! It would be nothing but a huge outpouring of sympathy for her, and no victim blaming.
She’s right this is very traumatizing, and I hope she has a good therapist or someone to help her heal emotionally as well as physically.
Megan Thee Stallion, Tina Snow, is a smart girl. I trust she’s doing what is best for her. I am not a law enforcement official or attorney but seems to me that her pressing charges is not necessary for the state/city to pursue its case against Tory Lanez. Also: we don’t know if she’s “not cooperating”. TMZ could be spewing lies that disgruntled police officers are telling them.
Ugh, I hope her foot heals well so she returns to dancing, twerking, horseback riding–all of that soon!
Also, for the Black Celebitches: isn’t weird how a black woman who gets shot by a black man is mocked? I wonder if a police officer shot her in the foot, would they be mocking her?
Yeah. I’ve noticed there’s some selective support for black women in the comments here. Only certain types of black women are palatable for some, and that infuriates me. I feel certain non-black “liberals” in the comments here have that love the race, don’t like the people attitude towards BIPOC. It’s one of the reasons the work of anti-racism is so important. I don’t see that in the writers here. But some of the commenters…
(Love your screen name, by the way!)
#truth @GreenDesert
@QueenMeghan’sHand All truth. Thank you for speaking on this.
I hope she heals from this, both physically and emotionally.
It wasn’t exactly a party , but a group of us hanging out so yeah, I guess a party where I was shot. I got a lot of the same sh!t, why were you there, what did you say, he didn’t mean it, he was just fooling around blah blah blah blah.
I just want to give her a big hug and tell her it will be okay. I hope she has some loved ones who can support her right now, I know she has had a lot of loss for someone so young.
I am so deeply sorry that any of that happened to you. I’m glad you survived — you seem like an awesome person, and this world needs all the awesome it can get.
Thank you for your kind words Osito.
As Black Women we are always blamed for that which victimizes us. Throughout history to present. Even friends will say, what were you wearing, what did you do to…blah blah blah. I have been raped and abused but very rarely share this because it was in the context of lesbian interaction which is never taken seriously and also because no one gives a shit about a Black Woman’s tears, not really. Ntozake Shange wrote about this in for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf (and don’t let anyone dare quote or reference the TP film version of this choreopoem which was a travesty).