Molly Sims ‘got really mom shamed’ for not being able to nurse her son

Molly Sims is mom to three: Brooks, eight, Scarlett, five and Grey, three and a half. She recently called in to Kristen Kelly’s Mom School podcast and the topic turned to breastfeeding. Molly said she did not produce enough milk to keep her babies fed. She tried herbs and pumps, but nothing got Brooks what he needed so her lactation consultant convinced her to supplement his feedings with formula, which ultimately gave him the amount of food he needed. But even though she was just trying to meet her baby’s needs, she got mom-shamed for doing so.

Molly Sims knows that “fed is best” when it comes to her kids — but the road to that mindset took some time.

The model and actress, 47, chatted with Kristen Kelly for the most recent episode of her Mom School podcast, tearing up as she recalled how “people really mom shamed” her after her son Brooks Alan, now 8, was born, because she wasn’t able to produce enough milk for him.

Sims praised a lactation specialist she worked with named Linda Hanna, who was “ultimately one of the first” people who convinced Sims to make the move to formula.

“She goes, ‘We got to feed this baby some formula. … We’re just going to need a little,’ ” Sims says. “I was taking 18 herbs. I mean, I did a breast pump. I did it all. I did everything. [Linda] was really such a constant and I cannot thank her enough, because that about put me under. I was really depressed over it.”

“And I just don’t make milk. I made a little bit, and finally by the third baby, she goes, ‘Are we really going to try this?’ I’m like, ‘We’re really going to try it,’ ” she adds.

For Sims, the pressure from people who made her feel like feeding her children formula was akin to giving them “poison” was difficult to bear — not to mention witnessing how easy nursing a baby looked with other moms.

“I always say to women, ‘They come out of you, and you automatically have mom guilt,’ ” she says. “I would see these women, and they just stick that baby on the boob, and I watched it. … I watched her breastfeed.”

[From People]

This makes no sense to me. A mother cannot produce milk, so people attacked her? Do these same people shame paraplegics for not walking? Although it makes no sense, it, unfortunately, does not surprise me. Many people take their parenting POVs to the extreme. Plus, they have no problem telling/lecturing a total stranger in line at Target, I can only imagine what their poor ‘friends’ are subjected to. (By the way, this is true with many dog owners as well.) Obviously, moms want tips and tricks, the Mom Help book market is big money, but it’s simply not helpful when the suggestion is encased in judgement.

Molly also mentioned that one time she fell asleep while breastfeeding Brooks and rolled over on top of him. It scared her so much that she started having anxiety fueled dreams that plagued her for all three kids about them drowning. I remember dozing off once while breastfeeding. I was sitting in a chair and I woke just as my arm holding my baby started to go slack. It terrified me so much that remembering back to it can still seize my chest. I think that’s part of what Molly was saying about automatic mom guilt. Anything we do that isn’t right – not even that it’s wrong, it just isn’t right – completely messes with our heads. Once the child is born, it’s parental guilt, I don’t think the overwhelming sense that you are completely screwing up parenting discriminates based on biology or gender.

Photo credit: Molly Sims Instagram

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48 Responses to “Molly Sims ‘got really mom shamed’ for not being able to nurse her son”

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  1. SJR says:

    Stop Mom Shaming.
    This has hit a nerve with me.
    A big part of the women’s lib movement of the 1970′s was meant to give women equal rights, equal pay, equality in choices in life.
    I hate the Internet for turning into one big Judging contest.
    Rant over.

  2. Lala11_7 says:

    People get online…EVERYDAY…to showcase their lack of decency…and humanity

  3. Seraphina says:

    I didn’t produce with my kids and had to throw in the towel. It just frustrated me and the babies when it should be a time of bonding.

  4. Stacy Dresden says:

    Breastfeeding can be the hardest part about having a new baby.

    • Betsy says:

      In retrospect, it was absolutely one of the hardest, least pleasant things, even over and above the sleep deprivation.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      This is so true. I nursed our first for a little over two years, then could not keep up with enough fluids to consistently nurse my twins adequately. It was heartbreaking.

    • Flamingo says:

      Agreed! I tried to do it for about a month and it was a disaster. I had constantly clogged ducts and was in consistent pain. Finally my husband asked me what I was trying to prove by putting myself through it. I sat there and thought about it and it came to me that I’d decided that I wanted my body to do one natural function. He is an IVF baby with a c-section and I guess I’d shamed myself into trying to do something natural. After I came to this realization, I said screw it and sent him to Target to get formula. Within a week I felt fantastic. As with basically everything parenting related, I say do you.

    • Nikki* says:

      In the olden days, young moms were ADVISED to drink a dark ale every day to boost their milk supply. I didn’t even like beer, but I drank it and was able to nurse twins. In retrospect, maybe it was partly the relaxation that helped my milk production; hard to feel nervous when you’ve got a buzz on! Of course nowadays in the US, you’d be shamed up the wazoo for this, but in pubs overseas plenty of young nursing mothers enjoy a glass of ale with their friends, and it does wonders for the morale. As far as the mom-shaming, a woman doesn’t need to have difficulty nursing to justify using formula. If you want to use formula, feck everyone who doesn’t approve!

  5. SnowQueenM says:

    Mom shaming is a super thing, especially over formula vs. breastfeeding. It really sucks, and I’m sorry Molly went through it. There’s this section of the breastfeeding world which claims that women hardly ever ever don’t produce enough milk, so that sometimes translates into “you’re lying about not having enough, you’re lazy and a bad mom.” And forget about consciously choosing formula… People get so needlessly judgmental.

    I had to breastfeed my first due to low milk production, and the shame was unreal. When I got pregnant with my 2nd, I was so excited…until I remembered the horror of my first experience with breastfeeding. It was straight up dread and anxiety from there on out, because I knew I’d be formula feeding right out of the gate. I didn’t want to breastfeed! It was that simple, and we have wonderful science milk for that very purpose, but people always have stuff to say. 😒

    • I'm With The Band says:

      I had a woman in my mother’s group with this view. She was your garden variety sanctamommy and was adamant that all women can breastfeed, despite the fact that I was clearly struggling to produce enough milk for my son. The implication that I was lazy/not trying hard enough/inept really stung.

      To increase my milk supply, I took Domperidone (worked extremely well), lactation teas, brewers yeast, you name it. I mixed fed for 7 months, and by 8 months I gave up on breast milk altogether because I couldn’t bear the fact that I was spending more time with the breast pump than my son.

      • Nina says:

        my baby was allergic to my milk and was bleeding internally for six weeks before we figured it out. she cried for hours and hours every night until one day there was blood in her diaper. it was horrible. I still feel despair when I think of how her first weeks on earth were so painful. She’s 24 and mostly fine, but suffers from depression and other issues …. I feel like I did this to her.
        On a happier note, I want that bicycle!

  6. Carol says:

    My mom gave birth to 7 healthy children. She could NOT BREASTFEED. We all got formula. All have college degrees, no one moved home, no one needs mom’s money, and we are ALL HEALTHY and strong.

  7. Betsy says:

    The current “breast is the very bestest thing you can do for your children if you actually love them and want them to succeed in life” mantra is so incredibly sexist and damaging. I don’t know who might be reading this today, but if your baby is napping and you’re dreading when s/he wakes up in twenty minutes because you hate nursing so, so much or you can’t get the process started, truly: fed is best.

    I agree that what happened with breastfeeding becoming a shameful, bad thing to do in the middle 20th century was bad, but my god. Take a new mother, usually in some discomfort if not outright pain, add several heaping helpings of guilt about a thing that, while natural, isn’t *quite* as easy as they sell it. I nursed three kids for 7-11 months each and the pain never really went away for me. “You’re doing it wrong,” “you must have had a bad latch,” etc… Nope. I did it to save money because as a SAHM my time was already paid for, but it’s psychotic to do this to women and provide no support. I applaud you, Molly. You did good.

  8. Jordana says:

    I had same issues with milk production. I had a lactation doctor, on herbs, and domperidone to produce more milk. Domperidone actually worked really well for me, but I know its banned in the US for some reason. It’s been used in Canada for over 20 years.
    I also had to supplement with formula until milk production was enough to feed my baby and that took about 2 months to achieve. My mom didn’t understand my struggles, and was very critical of me and complained to other family members that I “was lying about breastfeeding”. During her first visit to see her grandchild, she would scowl and shake her head when she saw a baby bottle at my house. I remember that visit was so awful, I felt like I had to sneak bottles so she wouldn’t see them.
    It’s stressful trying to feed your baby, and your body isn’t able to do it. Women, I wish we could be kinder to each other.

    • Sadezilla says:

      Jordana, I’m so sorry your mom was so cruel about it. I don’t have kids myself, but my sister has a 5-month old and she tried breastfeeding for maybe the first 3 months, and, as I’m With the Band said above, she was spending more time with the pump than her baby. She also had a yeast infection that was passed back and forth between her and the baby, and they were both on antibiotics. It was a nightmare, all while trying to heal from childbirth and take care of an infant. My mother would not believe that she had an infection and had this attitude of “she’s exaggerating.” It was really hard to watch. And she needed my mom’s help because her husband went back to work after 2 weeks and, like I said, she was constantly pumping.

      Anyway, I feel for you. Breastfeeding, on top of taking care of an infant, is no joke. I don’t know why people can’t just be kind to other people who are clearly doing their best.

      • Jordana says:

        Thank you @sadezilla! Your sister is lucky she has you. My mom had a similar attitude (“it’s not hard! Just feed the baby!).
        I also suffered from Reynauds, baby had thrust, blocked milk ducts, you name it, etc.).
        My mom and I never had an easy relationship, and that kind of really sealed it for me.
        I had such bad anxiety throughout her visit, it brought on crushing chest pain. I blamed it on all the medications I was on.later I told my doctor about the meds causing me severe chest pain. She got a funny look on her face and said those medications should never cause that…then asked me if I had experienced extreme stress because what I was describing sounded like an anxiety attack. Also,severe stress impacts milk production. 🤔

      • Josie says:

        @Jordana

        I suffered from Reynauds too (among every other problem with breastfeeding you can encounter)! I haven’t met anyone else who had it. It was so terrible, my breasts would throb for hours and just start easing up as my baby would wake from naptime. I was dreading the wake ups, that’s when my lactation consultant said, “I think you should try pumping. You should not be dreading your baby waking up.” I’m so thankful that I had ‘permission’ from an expert. Looking back, I realize I didn’t need anyone’s permission but at the time I felt like a failure but she told me I was going above and beyond. She saved me thankfully. I ended up exclusively pumping which was so tough but better than trying to breastfeed.

  9. smcollins says:

    A fed baby is the healthiest baby, whether it’s by breast, bottle or both. F*ck mommy shamers, they’re the worst of the worst.

  10. Ocho says:

    Where I live in the UK, new parents are all corralled into newbie classes to learn about childbirth and newborn care. It’s strongly encouraged and basically everyone goes. After the feeding instructor spent the whole session discussing breastfeeding, a parent asked about bottle feeding. She looked at the parent with disdain and said “I only discuss breastfeeding here”. Later when I had a medical problem due to overproduction of milk, I found it impossible to get help and had to research a solution online myself like a Dr MacGyver on two hours a sleep. I came out the other side, but it was incredibly stressful and very unnecessary.

    • Thirtynine says:

      Same here, O c h o. Ive never met anyone else who suffered from overproduction, and it was an agonising nightmare which required a week of hospitalisation after 6 weeks of feeding. And having to put up with the sanctimonious judgement of the ignorant- it makes me so angry. Still does, even after thirty years.

  11. Celeste says:

    Two plus years into motherhood and I am still surprised about how overnight my breasts and what I do with the became an acceptable topic of conversaron among people.
    I think mommy shamers should be actually ashamed of themselves for all the crap hey give others.
    I am on the opposite side of her situation because I have been breastfeeding for over 2 years. Since the day my kid turned one I have been dealing with people’s opinions. I have been told that if he can say the word “boob” maybe he shouldn’t been breastfeeding. I have been told by someone I barely knew that “it is ok you are still breastfeeding because he JUST turned one, but you should stop soon” (like some sort of switch turns at day 366 of a person’s life). We really can’t win.
    Leave women alone, we have enough to deal with and we don’t need unsolicited opinions.

    • Riemc526 says:

      I couldn’t agree more. My baby was Coombs+ so I had to take her to the hospital for blood tests every day after we were discharged. Random women at the hospitals (neither drs or nurses) asked if I was breast or bottle feeding or if the birth was natural or c-section. I don’t understand why people need to know that! I wanted to breast feed so badly but couldn’t bc my daughter couldn’t latch well due to her torticollis. She ended up needing occupational therapy at 3 mos. Fielding those types of questions was awkward and creepy on a few levels.

    • Nicole r says:

      It’s so jarring to me that people find mother’s breasts suddenly open for discussion. They are either criticizing women for not breastfeeding (or not enough) or judging women for breastfeeding too long! Both my sons had latching issues and I had a difficulty producing enough with the pump. It was so stressful. My mother-in-law tutted that I should “try harder” when all 3 of her children were raised in a “baby house” and never spent a night at home! That was the kibbutz way.

  12. Jess says:

    Her children are absolutely adorable, first of all. Second, I don’t understand why anyone gives a shit how other moms feed their babies. Stop putting other women down in an attempt to build yourself up!

  13. EMc says:

    I couldn’t breastfeed with my first son and it was miserable. Before I even left the hospital I was embarrassed and ashamed. I choose my physician based on the fact that she’s a lactation specialist, so I could have help with it, but I had my son the day of the Sandy Hook shooting and her kids decided to come home from college for the weekend and she didn’t come in to the hospital at all. I digress. My delivery was miserable and my blood pressure was really high and I couldn’t nurse and I just cried. The nurses would come in and literally whip out my breast-no questions asked- and start trying to hell. Then they were drizzling formula on my nipples to convince him to latch and overall I was absolutely humiliated. After a few days of him screaming and my blood pressure being sky high I asked for formula. Ill never forget the feeling I had when the nurse made it clear that if I went down that road I would never breastfeed, and I was giving up. What a miserable experience.

  14. Lisa says:

    Awful. I am glad she had a kind lactation consultant who didn’t pile on to make the situation worse.

  15. HeatherC says:

    Twenty years ago I had that experience as a new mother. I chose not to breast feed, I was 20 years old and had too much going on. I had to change pediatricians for my son because the pediatrician would nearly sneer at me at each visit because he was formula fed, he was making my post partum depression worse! Eight years later I attended a support group for parents of special needs kids (my son is on the autistic spectrum) and one mom asked if I had breast fed him, I said no and she said well that explains his problems. Though others in the group quickly shut her down, it still stung and added to the mom guilt I had anyway.

    Mom shaming is real and it’s destructive. My son has excelled where he could, graduated college and has a job suited to his abilities with the flexibility to accomodate his autism related needs. I want to go back to that group and hope the woman is still there and tell her to eat a big bag of d!@ks.

    PS: Formula does not cause autism. Milk science is advanced, fed is best.

    • Nicole r says:

      I have Aspergers and it is so offensive that some woman thought your son’s autism was “caused” by formula. It doesn’t even make sense because most people were formula fed in the 50s…

  16. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    Would these mum-shamers prefer it if the baby sickened and died for want of milk? Genuine question.

    • FC says:

      My son is 10 now, but has food aversion and anxiety to this day because I tried SO hard to breastfeed him those first three weeks of his life. He was tongue-tied (which wasn’t diagnosed for weeks) and I wasn’t producing enough milk. So he was having a horrible, painful time feeding which has resulted in years of food therapy. Our pediatrician was shocked by how little he weighed and that he even survived those first few weeks. So yeah, enough with the shaming.

  17. AMM says:

    Breastfeeding was terrible for me. I was guilted and pushed into trying with my oldest, despite being active duty Military and knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it after my 6 weeks of maternity leave were over. The nurses would not leave me alone about it in the hospital. So I caved and did it, and then dealt with the guilt and difficulty of weaning when I had to go back to work and was never given the time or space to pump (the military has gotten better about legally providing resources for breastfeeding mother since I got out). I chose to do it with my second since I was a stay at home mother by then and had the time. That was also terrible. We spent months crying together because I was in pain and exhausted and he was hungry and cranky. I did the teas and saw a lactation consultant. I pumped as much as I could to build up my supply. I felt like I spent 99% of my day focused on breastfeeding. My poor oldest child wasn’t getting enough attention and my youngest was getting the worst version of my self because I was so stressed when feeding him. After six months I called it quits and it was a blessing. We were all much calmer in my house. It felt like invisible chains had been removed and I could actually enjoy being a stay at home mom.

    Some moms love it and some moms have an easier time of it. I appreciate that it’s bonding time for some people, that’s it free and that it’s potentially great for the baby. But it’s really not for everybody. The science is mixed and iffy with formula vs breastfeeding, but it’s not iffy about the effects of the baby having a stressful/negative first year of life. Choose your battles.

  18. gem_cat says:

    Fed is best
    but I will ..on a side note, also argue that one needs to have access to clean water and affordable formula to be able to properly formula feed. And many of the companies that make/distribute formula do so aggressively and at the expense of the health of children where there is no access to clean water or good quality formula, which in itself become as global-south, race and class issue that should be included into the conversation.

    These same companies that admittedly help mothers who cannot or don’t want to breastfeed in some parts of the world, profit from pro-formula campaigning at the expense of babies’ health in other poorer parts.

    This is obv. not the case here with Molly specifically, but it is important to keep in mind why, for instance, the WHO recommend exclusively breastfeeding as a better option for the first 6 months, and whilst that can be misrepresented (and unfortunately be used to shame) it can simultaneously also originate from very valid arguments, and that is an important aspect to include whenever the topic of “fed is best” comes up I feel..

    Certain companies (Abbott owns Similac for instance) market themselves very differently within and outside of the US, where “representatives from Nestlé, Abbott, Mead Johnson and Wyeth”…” were described as a constant presence in hospitals in the Philippines, where only 34% of mothers exclusively breastfeed in the first six months. Here, they reportedly hand out “infant nutrition” pamphlets to mothers, which appear to be medical advice but in fact recommend specific formula brands and sometimes have money-off coupons.” excerpt from: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/27/formula-milk-companies-target-poor-mothers-breastfeeding

  19. megs283 says:

    Ugh. I never made enough milk. To top it off, my girls were allergic to dairy and soy. So… that limited my diet, which in turn tanked what little supply I had. I started supplementing from day 1 with my youngest, and we switched to formula 100% of the time when she turned six months. I wish I hadn’t waited so long!

    Nevermind TRYING to stay on top of work and finding time to pump 2-3x during the work day. Some people pump once and get 12 ounces. I had to pump 3x, 30 minutes each time, to even approach that.

    On the plus side, I never got mastitis…and weaning was a breeze.

  20. Lindy says:

    It feels like being a mom is just an impossible thing to get right. I was able to breastfeed my first without too much trouble (first 6 weeks were hard and I needed a nipple shield until my nipples calloused up enough). We went to 13 months and then I had an emergency appendectomy and the last thing I remember before being rushed to the OR after it ruptured was begging to be able to pump before I got the anaesthesia. I was so worried about quitting cold turkey even though my son was a good little eater by then.

    And then 9 years later I had my second, at age 41. Nursing was an uphill battle from day one, including some pretty traumatic experiences with a nurse after my son was born.

    I’m still, a little over 2 years later, struggling with the guilt I feel at failing to breastfeed him to a year, at supplementing with formula, at switching to all formula at 9 months. Logically I know that’s nonsense, but I can’t even count the number of times I got mom shamey comments. It made my PPD so much worse.

    The fact that even a celeb with access to free time (no having to pump frantically between work meetings after going back to work) and money for endless lactation consultant fees was feeling the same way tells me that we need to be much kinder to moms in general.

  21. runaway says:

    Glad to read these comments, I fought hard for a natural vaginal birth with my 2nd as I had such a difficult time producing enough to feed my caesarean 1st.
    And with all the supplements pumping domperidone and a vaginal birth, 7 weeks in and I’m still having the same production issues.
    And I just decide last week I’m not going to beat myself up as I did with my first and started supplementing. Still feel guilty and hate bringing out a bottle in front of family but fed is best

    • Lindy says:

      Sending you big hugs just because I understand completely that feeling of wanting desperately to give yourself the grace to let go but also getting stuck on the voice in your head telling you you’re not working at it hard enough, you’re failing your baby… It’s tough. Hang in there. If it makes any difference I had vaginal births with both my kids and two entirely different nursing experiences. There are so many factors. It’s so complicated. Be kind to yourself.

    • Jordana says:

      Big hugs @runway.
      I had three. All nightmare breastfeeding stories with all 3. I had a very supportive lactation doctor, and she really got me thru it. With all 3, I had latch issues, pain,etc. I was pumping,on the max dose of dom, taking the herbal combo recommended by lactation experts, and always struggling. It took 8-10 weeks for me to be able to feed without supplementing, with each of them. Looking back, I think it took a toll on my sanity. Do what you can, and know that using formula is not a failure.

  22. Flamingo says:

    At the hospital I was lectured about how not breastfeeding could cause developmental delays and had my baby’s face smooshed on my boob repeatedly. He would not latch, so a lactation specialist came in and told me that I would have to pump every two hours without fail and that I needed to drink two gallons of water a day to keep up production. No other options were given and formula was quickly shot down when I brought it up.
    I quit breastfeeding after a month because I was in constant pain and crying in the bathroom by myself with a breast pump a few times a day. I kept having blocked ducts because I was pumping so much milk as I was told to do. It wasn’t worth it to me to be miserable, so I stopped.
    My husband came with me to my son’s three month check up. The number of people in healthcare who feel a need to contribute their opinion is astounding. The nurse who came in to weigh and measure him asked how my breastfeeding was going. When I said that I’d quit, she said, “Well physicians agree that breast is best. It’s a real shame that you gave up so easily. He might have issues with growth.” Without missing a beat my husband said, “This physician disagrees.” That shut her up, but my son was at the 90th percentile for height and weight, so I think formula wasn’t stopping his growth. I guess judgmental healthcare workers will be judgmental no matter what.

  23. Mamasan says:

    I think people just spew the hate because they feel nothing positive about themselves inside. Our society has only gotten more negative by opening ourselves somewhat on social media. It’s a double-edged sword.

  24. AJ says:

    I don’t have any children but when my sister gave birth to my nephew, she struggled with producing enough milk to breastfeed him and switched to formula at 6 weeks old. She then passed away when my nephew was just 6 months old and I think it would have been a hell of a lot harder for him if she had still been breastfeeding him. When I was out with him once, I had someone rudely comment about breastfeeding to me while i was bottle feeding him. I took great delight in telling this nosey rude person that “actually, I am not his mother, his mother is dead so mind your god damn business!” I hope she learnt a lesson that day to not feel like she has to police how other people live their lives.

  25. Lucky says:

    Same thing happened to me, I don’t produce any milk. Neither did my mom and two of my sisters. People think you lie about it but it’s true. I pumped for weeks to try to eek out something for my son but it did not work. Same thing with my second. Both were fed formula and are healthy 25 and 23 year old men.

  26. Regina Falangie says:

    I breast fed my son his first year, no problem. Then I gave birth to my daughter, breastfeeding was SO PAINFUL with her. At her 2 week appt she hadn’t gained the weight she lost during birth and was in danger of “failure to thrive”. Everybody got real serious and told me she could be taken away from me if she didn’t start gaining weight. I was terrified. They pressured me to continue to breastfeed, didn’t I want what was “best for her”?!? Couldn’t I just “get through the pain for her”?!?! I was in tears!! It was too painful and my body couldn’t do it.

    I ended up pumping the first year even though the nurse said I couldn’t do it, I’d never make it the whole year she told me. She shamed me that I “didn’t care enough to keep trying to breastfeed.

    Pumping was SUCH a pain, I had no idea how lucky I was to breastfeed my first!! The work, the preparation, the clean up!!! Ugh!!! I wasn’t gonna let that bitch nurse be right, I made it the whole year!!! Turns out my daughter was slightly tongue tied and it was never diagnosed. Her dentist confirmed it. That was why it was so painful!!

  27. Lz says:

    Remember when Gisselle Bunchen said that moms that were feeding theirs babies formula were poisoning them and boy did she get it from working moms and then later had the brass neck to take a photo of herself breast feeding while her hair was being all sprayed up.Boy has she grown, she was quite awful

  28. Natchan says:

    Reading all these comments, I’m realizing how lucky I’ve been with the doctors, nurses, lactation consultants I’ve dealt with since the birth of my son. They’ve all been pretty positive about supplementing with formula. Both the pediatrician and the lactation consultant told me that if breastfeeding was painful, I didn’t have to put myself through that and it’s okay to choose to not do it. I was actually the one putting pressure on myself to breastfeed and was stressing out a lot. Meanwhile, my husband and MIL were telling me that I was doing a good job, the baby is healthy and that it’s okay for me to give him formula if I need to. Hearing that from both the professionals and my family really helped me to chill out and stop freaking out. My baby has been fed supplemental bottles of formula and he’s doing just fine and it hasn’t interfered with breastfeeding.

    I realize that my experience is an exception and I’m very lucky. Knowing myself and how I react to stressful situations (even before the hormones), if I had to experience even half of what you guys experienced, I would’ve been a total mess.

  29. Sue M says:

    I adopted my baby, and he arrived with just a few hours notice. There was obviously not going to be any breast feeding. He had formula. He is now a strong, smart, tall completely normal sixteen year-old. I had steeled myself for ignorant people to make comments, but it never happened. I don’t even remember anyone even looking askance at me. Lucky, I guess.

  30. tropical dragonfly says:

    I never comment anywhere, but this is such a strange post to be reading during world breastfeeding week…
    I have never, and will never, shame a bottle feeding mother because there are many reasons why one would choose formula (and none of them are my business, they may even be in the 5% who can’t produce enough milk, who knows). But yet, so many women feel attacked just because we speak of how good human milk is. Formula is good, as long as you have access to it and clean water your baby will thrive. But human milk is alive and made just for the baby that is nursing.
    I feel truly sorry for those who wanted to and weren’t able. From reading the comments it’s clear many didn’t get the proper advice (and its not the mother’s fault when she tried to get it and professionals gave wrong information). So I’ll just leave this comment here and hope it will help someone. Lanolin can make the latch slip and contributes to clogged ducts… it’s not necessary. Extreme pain is probably from incorrect latch, it’s not supposed to hurt horribly or bleed (and if the latch looks ok from the outside, you may be dealing with a tongue or lip tie). Overproduction is way more common than people think and it may make it harder for the baby to latch. If you need to give formula, a bottle is not the only option. Bottles and pacifiers will most likely cause problems because the muscles used on them are completely different from the ones used on the breast. Also, they get in the way of building up your supply because the baby needs to be at the breast for your body to understand that more milk is needed. The pump is not a baby and your hormones will know that.
    Again, I’m not attacking anyone. I know how hard breastfeeding can be, I’ve had a really hard time two times out of three. But I was lucky to run into the right information, so I’m just passing it on.