It’s no secret that I think Miley Cyrus is kind of a jackass. I wasn’t looking forward to covering her promotional blitz in support of her new music, but every time I see a new headline or quote, I’m drawn in to see what she’s really saying. And guess what? I don’t completely hate her Late Summer 2020 Persona. I’m sure Winter 2020 will be different, but right now, she’s saying sh-t which is actually… not that bad. Miley recently chatted with Barstool Sports’ (ugh) Call Her Daddy podcast and she spoke about what she’s looking for in the next guy she dates, because her breakup with Cody Simpson only happened like a f–king week ago. Miley is surprisingly (?) self-aware here. Some highlights:
She needs a boring boyfriend: “I usually end up complaining they’re boring, but that’s what I need. I need boring… I definitely, definitely need a calming, I need an anchor, I need a weight. So it’s really important that I feel fulfilled and, yeah, they have to bring something to the table.”
She wants a man who takes care of himself: “One of the things that’s important to me in a relationship, besides acts of service, [is] I like people taking care of themselve. I think the way someone treats himself is a reflection of the way that they’ll treat you. I’m, like, super into clean eating; I’m into people taking care of themselves. If clean eating and self-maintenance is going to be important, I know to look in communities where those people are going to gather.”
She isn’t picking up dudes in AA: “I now no longer look at any sort of AA meetings because I myself, I don’t really want to help someone on their journey of addiction, because I need to take care of my own self. But I do know, you don’t — as someone that’s living a sober lifestyle ‚ don’t go to the club looking for your next partner, you know? So put yourself in places where you’ll be successful so you don’t get stuck on, ‘I’m just always wasting my time with all these people.’ You can really control the kind of people who are going to flow in and out of your life, and you can create a filtration system. So I’ve filtered my life of what I will accept and what I will not.”
Miley *does* need someone boring because she’s so extra and she cycles through personalities constantly, so she needs someone who will put up with that and let her be the “wild one” or whatever. I also like how she’s just flat-out saying that she’s not going to take care of anyone or do the emotional labor of “fixing” someone or helping someone with their sobriety. It’s actually a sign of maturity, that moment when you’re like “I want a fully grown adult who doesn’t have tons of issues that need to be worked on.” Our little twerker is all grown up. (Also: she kind of had that boring dude who wasn’t full of issues in Liam, but whatever, I get that she doesn’t want him back.)
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.
I thought she sounded self-aware back when her house burned down, but she still did all the ridiculous performative dating after breaking up with Liam. So you can spout the words all you want, but it’s the actions that tell me who you are, Miley. And that mullet is terrible.
Her annual self awareness claims are just a bunch of BS. She doesnt even realise she spouts crap just to act in the total opposite manner. These are just words,I will be convinced once i see some sort of long term change.
She has a press tour about being more mature every year before she pulls more crazy stunts.
Aaaaah the mullet Is the worst on her
She says she wants an anchor but if she had an anchor, she would claim that person was suffocating her, weighing her down, and not letting her be herself.
And everything here is focused on a future relationship with men. So she’s not interested in women any more? That was just another attention seeking act?
The anchor comment says to me that she wants someone to stabilize her, but I think that’s too much to put on someone else. She wants them to balance her, but she needs to balance herself first. It’s not a partnership if one person exists to service the other.
In any AA-related program, it’s an unwritten rule that you shouldn’t date someone in the program. (It’s also suggested that you don’t start a new relationship until you are one year into your sobriety.)
I’m sorry, I just can’t pay attention to what she is saying because of her hair.
I know. Who styled her? It’s a 70’s shag and completely wrong for her face.
How much more boring can you get than LIAM HEMSWORTH? The other brother (the Lesser Lesser Hemsworth)?
Ugh. I didn’t much care one way or the other about her until her “there are good men out there, you don’t need to be a lesbian” spiel, and now I actively dislike her. Miley doesn’t need a boyfriend, she needs to be single and work out how to anchor herself. I didn’t read this as maturity, it reads like “I’m the only one allowed issues and it has to be all about me”. One snippet of her and I’m already exhausted.
Thiss^^^^^
“I’m the only one allowed issues and it has to be all about me”
Yes. That is basically what she is saying. She wants a boring dude so that HE can take care of HER. This is not a sign of maturity at all. It is just entitlement.
“I didn’t read this as maturity, it reads like “I’m the only one allowed issues and it has to be all about me”.
Exactly!
Why do people like to believe Liam is this basic boring dude that just put up with Miley? For me he seemed just as messy and could likely have a drinking problem like Miley has hinted at.
Don’t get me wrong, she is often a mess herself, but I still won’t forget how he seemed super drunk at his own wedding, just as or even more messed up than Miley, how he also moved on pretty quickly after his divorce and some of the first pictures we saw of him and his new girl was of him being a messy drunk outside a bar and her trying to hold him up and get him to drop the street pylon/cone he had picked up and swung over his shoulders. And I also remember him after one of their break-ups, after a party, getting into a car with January Jones, and making sure that was as public as possible, I got the sense he was trying to make Miley jealous or something. And then there was that drunken street fight he got in as well a few years ago.
Honestly, if he was so “boring” as everyone wants to think he is, then he wouldn’t have been with Miley all these years.
I just wish this narrative that Miley is the only messy one or “crazy”/“unstable” one in the relationship would stop.
Agreed. Tbh I didn’t actually remember these details. Stable people don’t stay in longterm relationships with unstable people because it’s emotionally exhausting. It’s so much work being the stabilising force for someone who isn’t seeking therapy or another forms of support outside of the romantic relationship. (Abusive relationships are the exception to this rule. Because the abuser will employ gaslighting on their victim as a form of control).
Anyhow I get bored & tired of this narrative that Miley is the ‘crazy wild’ one and Liam is the ‘stable grounded’ one. He was comfortable enough with the chaos to keep coming back.
No
Agreed. Even in her latest song she says “I don’t try to hide my blurry eyes like you do”. Which could be just her making a jab at him, but some of his public behavior backs up her claims. I think he was messy as well, but she naturally got all the attention. I remember back when I followed the Vampire Diaries, he was seen making out with Nina Dobrev after his first cancelled engagement with Miley. Nina was a partier back then too. Same with his next girlfriend, Eiza Gonzalez. I don’t think basic, boring dudes almost exclusively date party girls.
Yeah… that’s one of the reasons why the concern-trolling about ‘reverse sexism’ and what a victim he was for her getting with someone else so quickly rang more than a little hollow. Why shouldn’t the “How you get him is how you lose him, ladies” approach of 2016 also apply to men who move on to someone else quickly?
I’m honestly surprised (and glad) most of y’all who replied to my comment see this too. It boggles me that this narrative keeps going on when there is, IMO, evidence he was very much down with, and her partner through her “wild” days and has done a lot of not so “basic” and things himself. And Amm, I think you bring up good points about the other partners he’s chosen in the past as well.
She’s a “jumper”. She jumps to whoever feels good at the time. When it doesn’t work she has this moment of clarity & self reflection, then she jumps to another train wreck
Sigh. I love her hair. It’s very German/Berlin style and it looks really non-Hollywood good.
The rest… I don’t know. Will we ever know. Will I ever care? I like her feminist epiphanies but the rest is her life and I’m not invested.
Obviously I don’t know her so this is, like, armchair guessing or whatever.
But to me, Miley’s problem seems to be that the grass is always greener. When she has something, the opposite always seems better. She wants whatever she doesn’t have. She may know herself enough to know she needs “boring”, but she doesn’t seem to know herself well enough to realise that she always seems to end up going on the run the second things are good and settled and actually calm in any way. It’s more than just complaining about boring. Because while I do agree with her, and I think she DOES need that kind of partner, the thing is… She HAD that already. She basically described Liam Hemsworth in what she said she needs in the above interview. She had a guy who was her version of “boring”, who seemed to love her completely and seemed to be totally content to love her through all the extra and quietly do his thing. He was chill, laid back, the anchor, all the rest of what she says she wants. Problem was, she didn’t seem to want it when she had it. Actually committing to a life of forever with that basically seemed to cause her to check out of the marriage about a month after they said “I do”. She’s done it repeatedly, with partners, with people, with her music, etc, just constantly moving to new phases in some kind of whirlwind. To me, these days, she only seems to want something until she has it.
And look, she’s so young. I’m not meaning any of this in a mean way. I totally get struggling to figure yourself out, and she’s doing it on a very public stage, has always done since she was about 12. That’s so tough. But it sort of, I don’t know..bugs me, I guess, hearing her talk about what she needs out of romantic relationships and now she knows what she needs from someone, because I don’t think the problem with her past relationships has been the other person. The problem is she just always, to me anyway, seems to be searching for something she can’t find. She doesn’t ever just seem content. Happiness and stability look to me like they just send her on the run. And if that continues, then a future boyfriend (or girlfriend) being the perfect kind of person for her isn’t going to be the answer either, because they too will only be what she’s looking for until she has it, and then them being that kind of person will be the problem rather than the answer to what she was searching for. Again. Any future partner being the “boring” anchor and calming her down just isn’t going to be the answer to whatever she’s looking for, and it’s not going to bring her lasting happiness, not if she keeps seemingly only wanting something from someone while she doesn’t have it, and then feeling like she needs someone completely different once she’s in a relationship with that person.
Soo…. I actually like Miley’s singing voice. I hope one day she gets comfortable with herself. And does some work on her internalised biphobia & racism so she can evolve past those harmful attitudes.
I would love to hear the kind of music she could make if she was coming from a genuine place of self acceptance.
Still no
Lmao actually YES YES YES but think for the attention I guess. Feel feel to express your disagreement in a sentence with enough context so I can understand your perspective… cuz that could show me new ideas or thoughts. Instead of just attempting to shut me down when I’m having fun gossiping about celebrities.
Highely unlikey
@MarcelMarcel: You’re right (I don’t like her voice though) and I don’t see how anything you said is controversial. She definitely needs to work on the racism, and she needs to work on the internalized biphobia too. Someone can be part of a community and even do positive things for it, but still say or do things that are harmful to that group. Her rant last year about women choosing to stick to women because guys are shitty was a mess.
@Okatu Fairy
Tbh I can’t actually remember Miley’s rant. I just kinda assumed she’s experiencing internalised biphobia. When she’s with a womxn she’s super performative about it. If she’s with a man she seems to either pretend that she was never interested in womxn or treats her bisexuality like a phase. That rant sounds like a hot mess.
Miley 100% needs to work on her racism. Sidebar cuz Miley started as country adjacent- I LOVE Yola and she sings beautifully in Highwomen.
Also hi! I’ve noticed you around before and always find your comments interesting.
Miley trying so hard to convince us of how mature and grown up she is, is just that. Trying. Typical child star forever trapped in childhood.
I think she’s the type to create a publicity stunt around any person she dates, male or female.
Also, it’s funny how she can be all holy about “taking care about yourself” and clean eating when she promoted drugs for years.
I don’t agree that she doesn’t or didn’t want Liam back. It was clear that he didn’t want her back. She wanted to work on things and he was done. But wished her the best. I think she has just gotten on with it, being her. But I think she wanted him back.
I still have this itchy suspicion she’s bipolar with a very long cycle.
i.e. When she’s manic, she blows up her life and jettisons good people because her brain is telling her they’re dead-weight, and then she has a long, slow slide into her depressed phase when she needs people like that back in her life and appreciates them for being there for her.
In other words, I don’t think this is maturity; I think it’s the re-emergence of the good sense that she loses hold of when she’s too high or too low. She might repeat all this in a few years.
I am a December baby too. And we do need rocks to ground us. I spent years learning that. Years.
Oh my, another random overshare! I hate when Alist celebs do that. It doesmt help sell their music and its annoying. I agree with some about her ‘maturity’ , she is basically saying she is selfish and wants the next partner to be there for her needs. That is not how relationships work. I think it’s better she stays single for a while
The point of 12- step is not to “ help someone on their journey of addiction”, it’s to walk them through the steps so they can help,themselves, and others. I wish her the best.
Perhaps all she needs in the long term are some stable, grounded friends.
Let the romance rest awhile.