The snack company, Bagel Bites, is asking a very pressing question: what we should properly classify as pants for the dogs in our life – two legs or four? Why does a snack company that turns mini bagels into little pizzas that teenagers rip the roof of their mouths of for care about dog pant classification? Who cares? The important part is the debate is finally here for us to witness. Okay, there is some logic. The consideration is in honor of National Dog Week that started on Sunday and runs through Saturday. And if you’ve ever left a Bagel Bite unattended for any amount of time, you know that the dog in your home is as invested in it as your teen, molten cheese be damned.
Bagel Bites is attempting to answer one of the internet’s biggest animal debates — What should dog pants look like?
Opinions on this important issue are divided into two camps: those that think dog pants should have four openings for all of a pooch’s legs, and those who think dog pants should only have two openings for just a canine’s back legs.
Bagel Bites has launched a campaign in celebration of National Dog Week (Sept. 20-26) to settle this argument, and, of course, they are taking it to Twitter, the internet’s Colosseum for bickering over just about anything.
A Twitter poll on the dog pant conundrum is now live on Bagel Bites’ Twitter and will be open for votes — for either four leg openings or two leg openings — through Sept 22.
“Bagel Bites pizza snacks have a long history as the unlikely snacking combination that everyone can agree with, “Maya McDonald, brand activations lead at Kraft Heinz, said in a statement to PEOPLE. “We’re leveraging the universal appeal of the brand to start a healthy discussion, because no matter what side of the debate you’re on — we’re all winners when dogs are wearing pants.”
The Great Dog Pants Debate, as it will hence be known in the annals of history, is the latest in the #BiteSizedDebates Bagel Bites has posited. Other notable discussions were: what comes first, the cereal or the milk? Is it called soda or pop? AutoCorrect or no? But I think we can all agree, this is by far the most important conversation yet.
So how are you leaning? My first reaction was back end/two leg is the suitable dog pant protocol. But those front appendages are not dog arms, they, too, are dog legs. So by adding clothing to the back and not the front, are we prioritizing a dog’s legs? But then there’s the four-legged pant argument and all I have against it is that the four-legged pants look absurd. However when it comes to dressing one’s pet, is absurdity not the end goal – always? So am I not winning by going with this choice? You see, this has really ripped the lid off the dog sartorial world. I’m not going to tell you how to vote, only that it is crucial that you do vote by the deadline – which is today!
— Bagel Bites⁷ (@BagelBites) September 18, 2020
The winning pant will be available on the howdodogswearpants.com website so vote intelligently; we don’t want a bunch of improperly attired pooches out there. But we do know one thing for sure: a shirt does not a dog pants make. So for the Shirters out there – find another arena.
Also – cat parents – start negotiations with Mr. Whiskers now, because you know the feline version will follow and it won’t be an easy sell.
If you are looking for clothing options for your canine counterpart, check out the Instagrams below, including overalls and waterproof joggers!
Photo credit: Instagram