I’m sure there are people reading this who have read Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin’s self help relationship book, The Good Fight, and who regularly listen to their podcast. I listened to most of one episode and it left me ragey so I appreciate any insight about them. From my perspective, Mike is a cheating cheater who always cheats and Jana is a codependent enabler who has built her entire career around Mike cheating. They use a lot of psychobabble to talk around the fact that Mike can’t keep it in his pants. He’s tried to break up with Jana multiple times, the last time we covered them we learned that Mike filed for divorce during one of his stints in sex rehab.
In a recent episode of their podcast, The Whine Down, Jana revealed that she got DMed by a woman who claimed her friend was sleeping with Mike unprotected. This is entirely probable, but it’s also possible that anyone could listen to one of their podcasts or read about them on US and make the same claim. Plus it’s sketchy to me that she’s saying her friend slept with him. It’s not exactly a first person account. I’m relying on US’s reporting because I’m not listening to this podcast again, sorry. This woman makes me so tired.
Jana Kramer received a direct message claiming that husband Mike Caussin had cheated again — and immediately went into “freak-out mode,” she shared on the Sunday, October 11, episode of their “Whine Down” podcast.
“The reason why it caught me off guard was because the very first time I found out Mike cheated on me was through a DM,” [Jana], 36, said during the episode. “I think — I told my therapist this — I almost have this weird PTSD where I go through my DMs, almost looking to see if the truth is gonna prevail in the DM again. I have this fear when I go through my DMs. … It just said, ‘Mike cheated again, I’m sorry.’ And I looked at the person’s profile, it had zero followers, so it’s like they just made this account. So, I reached out.”
During the episode, [Jana] shared that she began messaging the girl, who claimed her friend had been having unprotected sex with Caussin, 33, but she didn’t have proof.
“The really sucky thing about it is that my default can’t go to ‘There’s no way.’ That’s where it hurts the most, where I can’t just go, ‘I trust him 1000%. He would never do that,’… I think that’s where it stung. … I started DMing this person. They’re telling me things that maybe, could make sense or maybe, could be wrong. She said a few things about his hometown and I’m like, OK, they could just look that up on the internet. She said something about, ‘He’s got a secret device,’ which has always been a fear of mine, that maybe he has some secret device that he talks to other people on.”
Kramer sat on the messages for a few days before approaching her husband. First, she “searched the freakin’ house” looking for a secret cellphone and then spoke to her therapist.
“I’m like, ‘I don’t want to be looking under the bed or going through his drawers trying to find this secret device. Who knows if it’s even real?’ Like, how do I deal with this? We’re coming off a high, and now this? But I can’t ignore it completely because of our history,” she explained. “There’s not enough stuff in the bank to trust his word 1000 percent, because of the stuff last year and that sucks. So I’m just kind of, like, stuck.”
[Mike] quickly noticed something was wrong with her and after some prying, she told him she needed to figure things out and speak to a therapist before speaking to him.
“I can’t get frustrated because she’s not talking to me so I was like, ‘OK, I have to do my work now and not be codependent and try to take on her feelings.’ I just had to walk away and sit with it,” he shared. “Once she finally told me last night, it crushed me because it sucks. … It sucks that she can’t default to trusting me. It sucks that I’ve done what I’ve done in the past to create that in a relationship right now. My hope is that years down the line, if something like this happened again, she’d be able to bring it to me and we’d almost be able to, like, laugh about it because there is that much trust in the bank. But I didn’t fault her at all for questioning me for still trying to figure these things out. When she told me she searched the house, it’s just, like, my heart sank because I just felt so bad for my wife to have to feel these things and it’s a direct correlation to things I’ve done in the past.”
Later in the episode, Kramer admitted that she was afraid to ask her husband about the claims because she was scared that he would lie.
“I don’t think she fully believes me yet,” [Mike] said. [Jana] then admitted he’s right: “I have a hard time believing it, but I also don’t at the same time.”
I just got so annoyed reading their bullsh-t. Mike is saying he doesn’t want to “be codependent” by taking “on her feelings.” What does that even mean, that he doesn’t give a sh-t and is coming up for excuses not to care? Did he directly say “no, honey, I’m not cheating on you?” I doubt it. He could literally kill her by cheating at this point.
If you have to call your therapist to get her to talk you down from searching for your husband’s private phone, if he’s cheated on you more than a handful of times you know about and has gone to rehab two times for it, why would you doubt that he’s cheating? I guess so you can justify staying with him despite all the evidence that he’s a horrible person who wants out. They have two kids together and they’re learning that dad cheats and mom puts up with it and talks about it for a living. Again, someone could have made a fake account and used known details about these two to troll Jana. Wouldn’t that have you questioning your life choices too?
These a-holes
Oh look Mike got baptized again
It’s debilitating this cycle. Wow.
lol at that last picture, “I got baptized”. I hate fake Christians.
Yeah, it’s ridiculous. Who the fuck has time to live like this? I fully support consensual non monogamy and I’m not personally very concerned with tracking my husband’s d*ck, but I have ZERO tolerance for trust issues. ZERO. I don’t care how much I love someone, I love me and my peace of mind more.
She’s ridiculously foolish. And for this to be the foundation of their entire brand is stupid.
I wonder if you can share your approach to not being interested in tracking your husband’s dick. If he cheated, would you care? I would like to not care if this happens but I don’t know how.
Hey, Moo. I’m not Yup, but I feel pretty much the same way they do about ethical nonmonogamy and trust. I just wanted to say that should you ever find yourself in the situation you describe, whatever feelings you experience are valid for you to have.
@Moo- a big part of it is likely the fact that I have never been cheated on (as far as I know) and I’ve always been willing to be alone rather than waste any time dealing with someone I have to wonder or worry about. It allows me to have complete trust in my relationship and my security in it.
20/30/50 years is a long time to be married to one person and I just don’t think the worst thing that can happen in a marriage or relationship is a physical connection with someone else. The lying and breaking trust is a non-negotiable boundary, for me, though. And having to wonder where we stand and if the foundation of my life is based on lies. I’m not ever going to be willing to deal with that bs.
Separately – I think our natures are just our natures and it’s perfectly fine if you are never someone who doesn’t care about what your spouse does with their dick. You aren’t required to be like that- You *absolutely* deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make you question or worry about this, though.
@Moo, “I would like to not care if this happens but I don’t know how.”
Why would you “like to not care?” It seems to me like you do care, and the fact is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Give yourself the space to feel how you feel, for the moment, before trying to shift those feelings. The fact that you feel discomfort around what you’re current emotions are is something to examine and work on first.
Yeah I agree. I’m not going to track my husband’s whereabouts and conversations obsessively, if he cheats on me one day that could be devastating but at least I won’t have ruined my life in the interim worrying about it if that makes sense. So far he’s never given me any reason to worry and if I found myself behaving like Jana Kramer I’d give myself an uppercut and file for divorce.
Poor kids. These adults are horrible.
I wonder about their therapists. What mental health professional would recommend two people stay in a marriage like this? I suspect some doctor shopping has been involved to find an enabling shrink. The lack of quality mental care is extremely evident. I feel bad for their children. Their whole dynamic is just so blatantly unhealthy for everyone involved.
I don’t know if I’ve ever met a therapist who would tell a client to leave directly.
It’s got to be up to Jana, and she’s not there yet.
I agree with you. It’s definitely up to her to say that she has had enough and this isn’t good for her mental health.
This reminds me of Carrie and Big (he wasnt a cheater but he was a douche who she kept running back to) because she felt she had such a catch,I think Jana also feels he is too good for her and will continue to ‘work on it’ no matter what he does and HE knows it.
Mannnn, this bums me out. I don’t want to criticize the way anybody deals with emotional abuse, but this just sucks to see a woman in this day and age putting up with this kind of douchebaggery from some B-grade douchebro. GIRL, he is NOT too good for you! NO ONE IS! Get out!
But then also part of me wonders… I mean this is obviously part of their brand as a… “public couple” or whatever, so can she leave? Or does she wonder that? I mean, at this point, if he gets all better and they live happily ever after, do they become boring? Not saying I believe that, but I wonder if that’s a thought process that contributes to the toxicity. Of course, she could just dump his ass and put an “independent woman” spin on her brand, but I wonder if she’s able to see that.
“My husband, the fuckboi” is such an unsustainable brand.
It’s sad. Jana seems like a really nice woman, she just has no self esteem or self respect. Her husband, and her past abusive relationships, have clearly taken that from her. It scares me how many women seemingly look up to her for marriage advice. People RAVE to her about their new book! I find that alarming.
^^^All of this!We don’t know what goes on in that house 24/7 and I think he has manipulating her to make her want to stay down to a science at this point. He knows what buttons to push and what triggers to use. Marriage is work for sure but this is beyond just “work”, it’s absurd. I don’t really care about the two of them but I feel so sad for those kids because they will learn everything about what a relationship looks like from their parents and the cycle will continue until they get themselves help when they have grown up and realized it and hopefully they do.
Shoot the dying marriage and put it out of its misery.
This is ridiculous.
He will ALWAYS cheat again.
I don’t believe this to be true in every case, but with a serial cheater- yeah, he will always cheat again.
Cheating during a pandemic amazes me. I’m afraid to go to the grocery store but he’s meeting up with women and putting his family at risk?
I’d be gone so quickly if I even thought my husband would do that.
It doesn’t matter at all but fwiw the whole codependent thing means not taking on and trying to solve your partner’s feelings before they have come to you with an issue to discuss. I think he meant he was holding space for her while she figured out her feelings. The opposite would be seeing/sensing your partner is upset and reactively becoming upset yourself and needing to fix it immediately before they’re ready to talk. It sounds like she hadn’t said anything to him about the content of what was wrong and he recognized he was feeling frustrated so he calmed himself down until she was ready to talk. But anyway, ugh. How she continues to willingly go through this I don’t know.
MESSES. That’s all I’ve got.
Love yourself more, girl. You have a daughter who is watching and learning.
You just cannot be in a relationship – let alone a marriage – where you don’t trust your partner. Period. She obviously has low self-esteem and this therapy is not allowing her to trust her instincts and find inner strength. Whatever theyre doing is just enabling this really toxic cycle. Not only that, but profiting off it/using it for their ‘brands’??? Gross gross gross
I mean… if they are as famous as they are and laughing all the way to the bank, is because of his cheating and their willingness to put it out there for discussion. So I wouldn’t put it past her to aggrandize a small story in order to get the attention they need to sell those books and podcasts. That’s why reality tv and self-exposure is a creature eating its own tail.
I don’t know if I am lacking something or what but I have never “loved” anyone enough that that I would put up with half of this shit.
I think with these kinds of people they just lack love for themselves. They may convince themselves they love the other person so deeply, but it’s really just insecurity and thinking you don’t deserve better.
So no, you’re not lacking. The people who put up with this kind of stuff are.
She is no doubt living in a constant state of anxiety, knowing the other shoe will drop at some point (not to mention his pants) but not knowing when. I still feel sorry for her. She has probably never known what a healthy relationship is and thinks that it’s normal to have problems. What she doesn’t realize is that emotional abuse and cheating are not normal problems. They’re “get me out of here” problems.
I would tend not to ever call a woman who was cheated on pathetic but this is pathetic. You can’t trust your husband not to lie, you can’t trust him not to cheat, you hold on for what reason? The man wants to be single. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, or love the kids, but he does not want to be in a monogamous relationship clearly. And she is pathetic for building a life around a person she can’t trust at all. They both suck. Get divorced and get a lifetime of therapy to work out whatever is going on in that deluded head.
The cheating is never going to stop. She needs to just cut her losses and stop sinking time into this broken relationship.
Jana, Get out!! Staying together for “love” or the kids isn’t worth it. The kids aren’t blind and will grow up cheating and putting up with it is fine.
I threw out my cheater immediately. I’ve known women who have strong suspicions or confirmed cheating, but stick around to “work things out”. My theory is, they eventually all get to the “throw him out/leave him” stage, but some of them take a very long route to get there and suffer through the indignity and humiliation of other affairs. And they eventually get tired of the emotionally and mentally exhausting job of being the marriage police.
Geez , what a horrible way to live . Makes me anxious just reading about it . It’s too bad her therapy doesn’t teach her self love or self respect .
She is living in both fear and false hope that he will change. If divorce is not an option, at least do what a lot of rich people do – acknowledge that it’s purely transactional at this point, live separate lives, and don’t do this to you’re mental and physical health. There is nothing noble about fighting for a marriage if it is literally killing you.
Omg LOLOL that baptism pic. What a joke.
Who is Jana Kramer and what does she do that I’m supposed to know her for?
Other than enabling and codependence, that is.
I feel like they’re both hostages at this point- as everyone points out, why doesn’t she just divorce him? But, at the same time, why doesn’t the cheating douche finally put everyone out of their misery and file the papers himself? I don’t keep up with them, so has he tried? I feel like he would bring it up and she’d immediately just say they need more therapy and that they need to work on their marriage more, etc. before she’s actually get a divorce?
She is so beautiful to me. I know it doesn’t matter, but she would be able to find another partner of whatever depth she wants. Interesting to me how many men cheat on their beautiful and/ or accomplished wives.
Agreed. I think she’s stunning. And she seems like a nice person to boot. I wish she had more self esteem and realized she deserves so much more than this and absolutely could do better, no problem. She’s a catch for him, not the other way around.
I listen to their podcast. They definitely bank on their drama. But it is so clear that Jana lives an insecure life and I don’t wish that on anyone. She was married twice before and one ex almost killed her, literally. So, her picker for what a good marriage is, is quite off.
I don’t know who any of these people are. But, there are some women I know who are addicted to the moral righteousnous that comes from “forgiving” people, particularly partners who cheat. There’s something to it, where it’s all about them being able to say, “Aren’t I such a big person, with such a big heart, for being able to do this?” They find being in that position empowering–they have to make the decision, their husband has to grovel, and it’s like they have the upper hand, for a time. But it’s not any real sense of power by a long shot, it’s just a feeble imitation of it.
With standards this low, it scares me as to how bad things will have to get for her to leave.
I’m sure the person who messaged her was the other woman. He probably has never stopped cheating on her and the reason she is so obsessed with it, is because she knows this deep down inside. At some point, she has to look at him and realize – how could she love or even like someone, who treats her so poorly? how could you like someone who betrays you and lies to you so much?
She seems addicted to him in a codependent way. She is going to wake up one day and realize he will never change, will never be faithful and that she wasted way too much of her life on a liar cheater. She should have left him the first time she caught him and never looked back. She needs therapy and needs to work on herself so much to understand why she is tolerating this type of terrible behavior from her partner. I can literally feel her anxiety reading her story. Life doesn’t have to be this way, Janna. No one is worth your peace of mind. It might be time for her to learn to be happy without a man.
They are both addicted to the tension of it all. The tension and “how wrong” it all is.
The guy loves sleeping around and lying. The wife loves talking to her therapist and looking for his secret phone.
HOT BOILED MESS. Those kids are so screwed.
Dtmfa
This woman makes me want to throw up
Can you imagine this is how you make money? That this is your “brand”
🤮🤮🤮
At this point, I have to believe she likes this treatment.
What I want to know is what kind of a woman wants to have unprotected sex with this married duchebag in the age of COVID, no less! Mind boggling.
I have no respect for her. Why on earth would she stay with a man that constantly cheats on her? Just remember honey, when you lie with dogs you end up with flees. Get rid of this flee for good. You’re coming off as being pathetic.
My bestie admitted that she did not want another woman to becomes the new MRS. ever–so she stayed. She told me the thought made her not want to live.
I did not know what to say, except “love yourself first, your kids are grown now”
She still stayed and is so sad & he continues to cheat.
This lady reminds me so much of my friend. I cannot understand why they continue to live in this chaos, I’d be in prison by now.