OK!: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are quietly engaged (spoiler for Eclipse)

OK! Magazine’s cover story this week is “Twilight Wedding: Rob & Kristen Engaged!”. It’s a total waste, though. The cover promises that “weeks” after Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart “moved in together” Pattz proposed. Unfortunately, the actual story is based on the theory that “life might just imitate art.” Because SPOILER Sparkles wants to marry Bella or whatever. Oh, and apparently Kristen has been joking around on the set of Eclipse, calling Pattz her “husband”. Dude… she’s 19 years old! And she’s hardcore! Kristen’s not going to marry Sparkles, hand to God:

Devoted readers of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga know that Eclipse is the volume in which conflicted vampire Edward Cullen and reluctant virgin Bella Swan finally get engaged.

That means, of course, that at some point on the Vancouver set of the novel’s big-screen incarnation, Robert Pattinson will whip out a ring and ask real-life love Kristen Stewart, “Will you marry me?”

Life might just imitate art.

As if their millions of fans collectively willed it — the blistering-hot young actors are truly, madly, deeply in love. So much so that, as OK! reported last week, they’re spending nights together in Rob’s suite at the Sheraton Vancouver Wall Centre. And things have gotten so serious that on-set sources say the young superstars are even playing up their romance on set.

“If Kristen is looking for Rob, she’ll say, ‘Has anyone seen my husband?’’’an insider tells OK!. “And Rob loves to say, ‘Have you met my lovely wife, Kristen?’ It’s cute. They’re like a couple of love-struck teenagers.”

Amid intense are-they-or-aren’t-they speculation, Robsten had kept their relationship under the radar in recent weeks — but then burst out of the closet with an unabashed make-out session among legions of fans at the Aug. 15 Kings of Leon concert held in Vancouver’s GM Place arena.

But since that public PDA, they’ve been sneaking around after dark like — well, like a couple of vampires. “There are those subtle pats and glances on set, but they save the real kisses for after the sun goes down, late at night, when you see them disappear into their hotel,” another source tells OK!.

Why so shy all of a sudden? To paraphrase another sprawling screen saga (The Godfather): It’s business. Twilight’s producers have told Robsten to keep their love on the down low — at least until after the November release of New Moon, the second film of Stephenie Meyer’s series, in which Bella gets involved with hunky werewolf Jacob Black, played by Taylor Lautner.

It’s all about suspension of disbelief. The studio bosses “fear that if a romance between Rob and Kristen is confirmed,” the insider says, “Twilight fans won’t buy into the screen chemistry between Taylor and Kris.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Uh… yeah. I don’t think Kristen really gives a crap what the studio bosses want. I think she’s trying to keep her relationship with Pattz on the downlow because she feels that he’s beneath her, I really do. She seems slightly embarrassed about the whole thing, in my opinion. And besides that, if Kristen and Robert were truly and totally in love (it could happen), neither of them are the shouting-from-the-rooftops kind of kids. My guess is that they’re keeping their relationship as quiet as possible because they don’t want to be attacked by roaming gangs of hormonal Twihards.

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18 Responses to “OK!: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are quietly engaged (spoiler for Eclipse)”

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  1. AlaskaJoey says:

    Bet she’s pregnant – with a sparkly baby!

    I thought the Twihards wanted them together?

  2. LolaBella says:

    A million Twihards will spontaneously combust from reading this headline!! LMAO!

    Kaiser, when did we start referring to Edward…I mean Rob as Sparkles? It makes me giggle just to read it. LMAO!

    BTW, I think Bella and Jasper are having a secret affair! I keed, I keed! LOL.

  3. k says:

    Oh good Lord. On one hand, maybe they’re really dating. On the other hand, maybe the studio wants you to believe that TWILIGHT IS REAL OMG so they’ll sell more tickets. Same with HSM. It’s an old studio publicity stunt.

  4. x says:

    Good Lord, where does all the hate come? Have these two killed some puppies?
    Each time an article about one of them appears here the collective bashing is certain.
    If they bother you skip it.

  5. marglo says:

    Ugh, awful picture.

  6. here we go says:

    This post should be on the Fail Blog. It’s been obvious for a while that the gossip rags were following the plot of the books as they’re made into films, and Summit is milking it for all its worth. But TwiHards aren’t exactly known for their critical thinking skills and will believe this BS. Gossip rags: FAIL. Summit PR dept: EPIC FAIL. TwiHards: sadly lacking any kind of real life.

  7. Ally says:

    Those are two blinky, sleepy-eyed leads.

    I have not participated in Twilight in books or movie form (I am neither a tween nor a desperate housewife), but I gather Sparkles is a reference to the Edward character having an iridescent sparkling presaging his arrival or lingering after his departure or something.

    Maybe some Twihard can enlighten (ha!) us definitively,

  8. Obvious says:

    Kaiser you and Sparkles make me laugh at work. then my boss asks me what’s going on.

    I hope Sparkles finds a real girl who will love him. And Kristen? well…let’s just say that she should go back to Michael. And leave sparkles to us.

  9. Jag says:

    If they have a baby, the poor thing’s eyes are going to look super-stoned all the time.

  10. Catherine says:

    Nah. I seriously doubt he would pick a girl like her to spend his life with. I picture him with someone girlie and feminine.

  11. JaneLane says:

    She is gay. But since this site is so heterosexual no one on here can look past that. They are both very straight though. Keep thinking that.

  12. Hieronymus Grex says:

    Riiiiighhhhhttttt……. :roll:

  13. Anissa says:

    I think it b okay…..its most likely not true tho…

  14. Squirtle says:

    Yeah they both look like they have a slight case of down-syn

  15. mollination says:

    omg kaiser, I love that you said that! She totally seems embarrassed by it! I like your intuition – you really pay attention to who she actually is and not whatever package she’s been sold as. She likes indie shit and smokes pot and rebels and I honestly think she sees her relationship as trite and cliche and obvious and TOTE beneath her. LOL. Now it’s even funnier if I’m not the only one getting that vibe.

    I’ve totally dated a guy like that. He was STRAIGHT off of that Tool Academy show – the effing hair, and the douchiness, and the bandanas….omg he was embarrassing. Sex was great. He never met my friends. Thank you. Good night.

  16. GatsbyGal says:

    Ugh, gross. They’ll probably spawn a whole brood of pale, weirdly unattractive, droopy-eyed kids who look like they’re high.

  17. aly says:

    ugh this is just one of those rumors that ok magazine likes to spred(thats why i only trust people magazine) i read the whole article in a target store and it was bs really shhe likes 2 hot guy no dip sherlock everyone does duh!!!!!!! i just think they should give it up because we all no she likes both just as much as the other, people just need to relizes shes a 19 year old girl whos single no duh she wants to get with a guy i would too lol