It makes me feel so old when people don’t remember/weren’t alive for all of the Princess Diana stuff of the 1990s. So many of the 2020 headlines about Diana are simply old news, repackaged with different variations of the same old quotes and stories we knew 25 years ago. But here we are. To compete with the narratives being set by the new season of The Crown – or perhaps to simply milk the cash cow of Diana’s memory yet again – ITV has a new documentary called The Diana Interview: Revenge of a Princess. It’s about everything that went into Diana’s iconic 1995 interview with Panorama, on the BBC. The interview, conducted by Martin Bashir, was one of the most-watched programs of all time. I remember it airing here in America too, and it was such a huge deal. Diana identified Camilla as the third person in her marriage. Diana admitted to having an affair with James Hewitt. Diana also spoke about how she knew she wouldn’t be Queen, but she hoped to be “Queen of People’s Hearts.” Well, they’re still talking about the interview, because obviously.
The night before their fairy tale wedding, Prince Charles dealt Princess Diana a “devastating” blow. Penny Thornton, an astrologer consulted by Diana, spoke out about the bombshell claim in ITV’s new documentary The Diana Interview: Revenge of a Princess, airing Thursday in the U.K. 25 years after her famous interview on BBC’s Panorama.
“One of the most shocking things that Diana told me was that the night before the wedding Charles told her that he didn’t love her,” Thornton said. “I think Charles didn’t want to go into the wedding on a false premise. He wanted to square it with her and it was devastating for Diana.” Thorton added, “She didn’t want to go through with the wedding at that point, she thought about not attending the wedding.”
During her 1995 BBC interview with reporter Martin Bashir, Princess Diana revealed that both she and Prince Charles were involved in affairs during their marriage. Prince Charles resumed a relationship with ex-girlfriend (and current wife) Camilla Parker-Bowles, contributing to their 1992 separation. When Bashir asked Princess Diana if Camilla was a “factor” in the marriage’s breakdown, Diana replied: “Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.” The stunningly candid quote soon echoed around the world.
Diana also confirmed her relationship with British former cavalry officer James Hewitt. When Bashir asked her if she was unfaithful to Charles, she said about Hewitt, “Yes, I adored him. Yes, I was in love with him.”
The new ITV documentary alleges Bashir doctored bank statements to coerce Princess Diana into speaking out. Earlier this month, Diana’s brother Charles Spencer, the 9th Earl Spencer, publicly accused the BBC of sending him a “piecemeal apology” for the use of fake documents that were utilized to help secure the famous interview with his sister. A 1996 BBC internal investigation claimed that the faked papers had “no bearing” on the interview. However, Spencer dismissed these findings and accused the network of “sheer dishonesty” over its conduct.
“[The BBC] have yet to apologize for what truly matters here: the incredibly serious falsification of bank statements suggesting that Diana’s closest confidants were spying on her for her enemies,” Spencer told PEOPLE exclusively earlier this month.
The Bashir shadiness has been known for years – Bashir absolutely falsified documents to convince Diana to speak to him. But! Diana already wanted to speak to someone. She wanted to give an interview at that moment – she had been separated from Charles for several years at the time, and she and Charles were slowly negotiating whether or not they would divorce, and what a divorce would look like. This interview was the final nail in the coffin of their marriage. As for Charles telling Diana he didn’t really love her… I think it’s possible, but I also think it’s possible that Diana claimed that when she had a particular ax to grind.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.
I”ll take that quote with a grain of salt. I could see him saying that and her spicing up the interview.
In an interview, Charles famously said “Whatever loves means”. I have no doubt that he was even more cruel in private , as well as being emotionally unavailable and abusive on account of his cheating.
Well said Myra. Charles is one cruel monster. Telling her this the night before the wedding to accomplish what? To clear his conscience? I see where Willileaks gets his meanness from. That whole family is sick and warped.
Let’s not forget…this is a man who took a pic of his mistress ON HIS HONEYMOON (where his wife could/would find it), and he was WEARING the cufflinks said mistress gave him on his honeymoon WITH HIS NEW 19 YR OLD BRIDE.
This is also a man who had/has NO TROUBLE stepping on his OWN CHILDREN for favorable press.
Yeah…I can see Charles doing this to Diana. In a heartbeat.
Agreed. Charles often seemed dismissive and cold towards Diana. He even told her to grow her hair longer at one point. In hindsight, I believe Charles was trying to make Diana have the identical hairstyle as Camilla.
In defiance, Diana cut her hair eventually, and he told her he hated short hair.
Diana wasn’t a saint, but Charles’ cruel and cold behavior drove her to loneliness, depression and bulimia. Charles was deeply jealous of her charisma, beauty, and the outpouring of love towards her and their children. Diana connected with everyone radiating kindness, empathy, humour and compassion.
In reading these comments, we should not be too surprised at what a monster William is.
Yes! I was just going to ask, remember the “whatever love means” comment when they were getting engaged. I was only seventeen and that upset me for her at the time. Who says that when you’re getting engaged?
@myra
Yep
Perhaps Charles didn’t use those exact words but having read several accounts of their engagements, the dialogue reflected his actions. Essentially, throughout his engagement, Charles took pains to “drop hints” that, for him, theirs was an arranged marriage.
Of course, the mementos he brandished about on his honeymoon were like anvils thrown at (what he thought) was a silly girl who simply didn’t get it. Let’s not forget the infamous, “I will not be first Prince of Wales without a mistress!” screech. Just as cruel, at a dinner party with Diana present, Charles held forth on the benefits of a mistress.
Charles was abominable to her.
“I will not be the first Prince of Wales without a mistress!” I think that goes for William too.
Diana wasn’t the saint people thought she was.
Who said she was?
Diana did not deserve what happened to her in that marriage.
I don’t think she was a saint. She certainly made mistakes and could be reckless at times. But the fact remains that she was young and naive when she was duped into joining that family. A family that couldn’t give a flying fuck about her mental health issues and expected her to suck it up and perform for the public and churn out an heir. A family that, HISTORY HAS SHOWN, makes the same mistakes OVER and OVER and OVER again when it comes to spouses joining the family and how they handle the spare.
Diana made the most out of a terrible situation and became a force for good.
And as much as I think Charles was a shit husband to her, a largely absent father to his kids, who is ultimately a coward and puts his own self interests first – there are still a lot of good things about him. He’s been an excellent Prince of Wales. Done great things for the Duchy of Cornwall and was ahead of his time when it came to environmental issues and sustainability.
She had known the family for a long time. Sue knew what she was marrying into.
She was born in the institution, her sister dated Charles and refused to marry him before he moved on with her: she knew what she was marrying into. Maybe she thought things would be different for her, but I doubt it was promised to her.
She was engaged at the age of 19 after dating him briefly. She was still a virgin when they met, had no worldly experience whatsoever. He was how old when he creeped on her? From accounts, she only met him at the age of 16 years and from videos, we have seen that even at 19 , she was incredibly shy. I doubt she had any idea just how cold the institution was or that her soon to be husband did not really love her.
Diana had her faults, certainly, but she’s hardly the villain in this story. Charles and his despicable family have to live with their roles in the whole mess.
People who say “she knew what she was getting into” about a teenage girl. Okay, cool, if that makes you feel better, rather than feeling compassion for this young woman. But, the rest of us can have sympathy for her & carry on. I’m not sure why people want to spread their callousness, but okay…..
She can be the wronged party here without being a saint or perpetual victim. Of course she didn’t “know what she was getting into.” she was 19, and yes she was an aristocrat with ties to the royal family, but I think she still thought their marriage was going to be based on love or at least mutual affection. I don’t think she saw the mistresses coming.
You can “know” a family, growing up with/next to them, but you do not/can not know ALL that goes on and how it ALL goes down behind those closed doors. Back then, WITHOUT soc. media catching the “booboos”, WITH a sycophantic press (for the most part), they showed what they wanted to show.
Yes, Diana had faults. Of course. She was human. But she was also a sheltered young woman of only 19, she grew up on romance novels and expected love and romance. She had a family that was literally pushing her into the wolves’ den. Did she have an affair, too? Sure did. AFTER her marriage broke down; Harry was about 2 yrs. old when she started the affair with Hewitt. But that is NOTHING compared to the BRF and ESP. Charles’ gaslighting her.
This isn’t a family, it’s a multi-million-pound business/scam. I was a teenager watching their engagement interview with no idea who the royal family even was, and even I thought Charles’ “whatever love is” answer was mean. In that interview, Charles told the world he wasn’t going to pretend it was true love. Even if Diana decided at that point that she was going to bolt from the engagement, do you think The Firm would have allowed that? Look what they are doing to Harry, who had the guts to leave, and he’s a blood prince? Once Diana was publicly presented as the fiance, she lost her power. She fought back in her own way, and she accomplished a lot of good in the world in her short life. Walk a mile in her shoes before you call her a professional victim, or say she knew what she was getting into.
Bishop, Charles was from another generation, 13 years older, she did not travel in his circle. She went to birthday parties with Charles’ younger brothers Andrew and Edward when they were children. She trusted Charles apparently and was old fashioned enough to think he married her because he loved her. She did not associate with Charles’ Highgrove set. Harper, I agree, I think that’s why the royals moved Diana to BP right away, that it would be more difficult for her to get out of the engagement. She could not even go to see her friends without royal security escorting her. Diana certainly did not know what she was getting into.
@Snuffles, I agree with most of your statement, but being an excellent POW doesn’t absolve him to be an absentee father and cruel with Diana. @Bishop and @Arpeggi….How can you guys be so cold! she was 19 yo for God sakes! Even if she was born into the institution, Charles was the one who could have guided her, but no! He just wanted an heir and a spare.
Charles and Diana both had a great work ethic. Too bad William does not have one, nor takes much interest in causes. But Harry does have the interest in these and IMO a better work ethic, but the Queen did not allow him to work part time.
SHE WAS 19.
…”there are still a lot of good things about him. He’s been an excellent Prince of Wales. Done great things for the Duchy of Cornwall and was ahead of his time when it came to environmental issues and sustainability.” Totally agree. Also, he’s older now. Most people change as they grow older. Most people learn from their mistakes. He’s done right by Camilla and he’s looked much happier since they married. Harry’s wedding showed the world a kind and chivalrous Prince of Wales.
“You can be a hot mess express and still leave the world a better place than you found it.” – a quote about Diana from the podcast “You’re Wrong About,” which is very entertaining and sent me down a Diana rabbit hole when I listened to the series about her.
I was a little young when it all happened so before listening to the podcast I did think people was a saint, but she wasn’t – she pushed her stepmom down the stairs, she had affairs, she sort of stalked her married lovers when they ghosted her. But she also genuinely cared about helping people and was legit screwed by the Royal family in every way possible, and her home life didn’t sound great either despite being rich. Not perfect, but unquestionably left the world a better place still.
The stories about her mom abandoning them are particularly heartbreaking. I have compassion for her growing up in such a difficult situation, then choosing to marry into another difficult situation. You can see how desperate she was to be loved.
The one thing I really loved about Diana was that she was messy. I hate the idea that she was a ‘saint’ because she wasn’t, she was human and she was complicated. She made mistakes but she always owned up to them. That’s what made her endearing. She wasn’t false like Kate is. Kate wants people to think she’s ‘perfect’ and even gets her fav mouthpieces to call her that, but perfect don’t make someone likeable or interesting. Perfect women don’t make history either.
OMG. I just finished that series too. The story about Diana pushing her stepmom down the stairs was … something …
Diana craved love and also wanted to love so desperately. She saw a lot of pain in Charles and thought she could heal him.
The “You’re Wrong About” podcast about Diana is a must listen. Couldn’t recommend more. I came always with a lot of compassion for both Charles and Diana. Neither of them stood a chance in that marriage.
@Dalloway- Rain Legs! lol.
This podcast was so good. Lots of insight and humor, without the usual royal worship. Seems like the BRF is really worried about this season of the Crown and comparisons to certain current family conflicts. While I find all this a little bit interesting, it’s so weird how they treat this over there like it a major thing that they need to scramble ahead of and spin.
I don’t think Diana knew what she was marrying into. My god, she was a 19yo virgin and had only been with Charles about 12 times before they were married. Diana loved Charles as she had had a crush on him since she was a teen. It was Phillip who forced Charles to marry her. It was apparent he didn’t love her when he made the callous statement, whatever love is, during their engagement photos. Diana stayed that she was in love with Charles when his response was that awful quip.
No she want a saint, but she thought that Charles would be a loving and compassionate husband, which he wasn’t given that he went to see Camilla the night before their marriage. Then as the years went on, Diana grew into a dynamic woman, Charles was filled with anger that his wife was more popular than he was. When Diana consulted TQ, she told her to ignore the extramarital affairs and be a good wife. TQ didn’t even have her back. Furthermore, when Diana gave birth to Harry, Charles had the audacity to grimace that Harry was a Spencer! Diana was the People’s princess and Harry is the prince of the people. Harry is just like his mother, where PWT will never be the prince of the people.
Diana only had affairs after Charles dumped her after he got what he wanted the heir and the spare. Divorce was difficult back then and if Diana wanted a divorce she would pay a penalty and lose some access to her children. I don’t agree that Philip forced him, Charles never seems to want to accept responsibility for his own actions. Philip in the note told him to drop Diana if he did not want to marry her and not lead her on. He did not say you MUST marry her nor could he force Charles. He actually gave good advice and Charles really should have stopped seeing Diana if he did not love her. Charles did want his own heirs and Camilla “inspected” Diana and Advised Charles to marry her thinking she would not fuss about her “friendship” with Charles. If it had not been Diana, it would have been another young aristo.
@February-Pisces l love your comment! So true! Thank you! 👏
It’s like that old quote says–people contain multitudes. Often the multitudes they contain are conflicting and don’t align neatly to the sorts of labels we’d prefer to assign to people. A person can be a saint and a sinner simultaneously in multiple facets of their life. In fact, that’s the case for most people. Everyone’s internal logic ticks to its own beat, which is set by the person’s own individual experiences of life. Actions that otherwise seem illogical to outsiders often tend to line up perfectly with one’s internal logic for how they approach life.
Understanding this doesn’t excuse anyone’s behaviour, it contextualizes it which I think is crucial if we are going to try and move towards a more empathetic and compassionate society. People conflate compassion with forgiveness, but those two aren’t the same. My anger with someone’s poor behaviour coexists with my compassion for them as a person, and my compassion for humans as a whole.
It isn’t about being a saint. There was a massive power imbalance and emotional abuse from day one. Diana was a teenager and Charles was in his thirties. That’s creepy as hell.
Also the people around them like the public, their friends, family and staff were deferential to the Windsors. There was more pressure on Diana to accept whatever Charles did than any pressure on Charles to be a good husband.
Even during their courtship and honeymoon, Charles clearly only saw Diana in terms of what she could do for him and he was condescending and dismissive to her and angry when she was more popular than him.
Charles has huge issues and held all the power. Diana fought back so effectively and dysfunctionally that I think sometimes it’s hard to see what she was up against. And when she had some power, she then turned around and harassed other people.
@Noodle. Frances definitely had her own issues but Johnny Spencer was abusive and because Frances left this, even her own mother participated in keeping her children from her.
@kalana, the situation was a complicated mess, and I can see Diana’s mom wanting to escape the abuse. I’m not claiming anyone was/is a saint or wholly at fault; Would it have been better if she stayed in a horribly abusive home? Probably not. I’m just highlighting the effect on Diana, which was profound.
Face it. If Diana were alive today, her story would be part of #METOO. Hashtag, #SHETOO.
Diana was not a saint. She was a teen that married a man in his 30’s. She came from a difficult family background and married into a even more difficult family. She did what she thought was best to survive. She was not a saint, but I do admire her trying to overcome all the bullsht that life threw at her.
He was a man in his early thirties who courted and proposed to HER. There are younger women-older men scenarios that work out and they have successful marriages. Diana was not a saint but then again neither was Charles. Charles was wrong to propose to her when he knew he did not love her and preferred another.
I don’t think anyone duped her but herself. Her family, especially her Grandmother Fermoy tried to tell her what was really going on, but she had herself convinced that it was all terribly romantic and she was going to live happily ever after.
I had a better idea of what her marriage was going to be than she did, and I was a poor 15-year-old girl from a small town in rural southern Oklahoma.
Grandmother Fermoy was all for the marriage, she made just some throwaway comment about Diana not understanding their sense of humor. Fermoy certainly knew about Camilla and never warned Diana. It was when things went south with the marriage that Fermoy turned on Diana and blamed her. Fermoy was a royalist and even testified against her own daughter so her grandchildren could live in proximity of the royals. CHarles should have spelled it all out to Diana and been honest before he even thought of proposing.
I recently watched/listened to the Diana – Her own True Story documentary on Netflix. They used the tapes from the Andrew Morton interviews for his book. It did not age well. She sounded like a monster, in her own words. She was clearly unstable and I don’t blame Charles for that. She said the RF brought in many, many doctors but she believed her only problem was Prince Charles not being in love with her. She blamed her bulimia on Charles. It is worth a watch.
Diana was not a monster. She like her sister had struggled with an eating disorder. Sarah was under stress when her boyfriend the Duke of Westminster dumped her, she was in love with him not Charles and was quite sick with anorexia. Diana was not “unstable” but put into a situation that triggered stress and bulimia. She also had severe morning sickness which the royals looked down upon. Charles did cause much of the stress and later on he made fun of her bulimia. The royal family brought in doctors whose solution was to feed Diana quantities of valium which was an epic fail and Diana had to stop taking the valium after she found she was pregnant with William. Diana had a right to be upset when she found out Charles preferred Camila. Ultimately Diana went to Sarah’s doctor (who oddly enough did not seem to recommend her Dr when Diana first got bulimia). Diana ultimately got the bulimia under control. I think that Diana’s bulimia was used against her by sympathizers of Charles who wanted to set up a sort of Jane Eyre situation with Jane being Camilla and Charles being Mr Rochester and Diana being Mrs Rochester. Very unfortunate.
This. While I don’t doubt that Charles didn’t love her, as history has clearly shown? I think he had an affection for her in the beginning. She did pretend that she adored everything he liked & then once married refused to do any of it (shooting, fishing, Balmoral, horses, etc) I’m sure, like most people, they both probably had “cold feet” before such a monumental event but I highly doubt Charles told her he didn’t love her the night before the wedding.
Diana knew how to manipulate both her image & the press masterfully. I think this was something to say to further turn the world against Charles & to her side.
To be fair, Charles pretended that Camilla was his “safe” married friend and Diana found out the extent of their relationship after the wedding.Diana and Charles did have things in common they enjoyed skiing and water sports and they liked music (Diana did like ballet and Italian operas).I don’t think Charles told her this, the article is hearsay, Diana told Morton Charles left Diana an affectionate note the night before the wedding.
no. diana knew camilla was a threat before she was married. charles introduced her to camilla and camilla latched onto diana and said she would tell her what charles liked. she said when she was walking down the wedding aisle she was looking for camilla.
Royal blue of course she saw Camilla as a threat but she trusted Charles then. And told Morton when she saw Camilla she thought well that’s over and indicated to Morton she had high hopes for the marriage. Diana did not know the full extent of the hold Camilla had over Charles nor that he would continue to be in touch with her. She did not know “all.” She learned the hard way.
She doesn’t need to be to be deserving of empathy and kindness, and for people to understand that she came into the marriage at a colossal disadvantage that was intentionally set up to be weaponized to keep her in line.
Holding people accountable for their actions, without a full understanding of their circumstances and the ways in which they are impacted by them and react to them, is ultimately meaningless, and never manages to achieve what it sets out to do.
“Diana wasn’t the saint some people
thought she was.”
She was human, and deserved consideration as a human being. And at 19, she hardly had a long list of crimes to her name.
I dunno, I’m willing to give a lot more leeway to a teenager than a mature ‘prince’
To quote Kaiser:
“So many of the 2020 headlines about Diana are simply old news, repackaged with different variations of the same old quotes and stories we knew 25 years ago.”
Just like your irrelevant comment, Lotoya.
It’s been nearly forty years since the marriage and I am sick of hearing how Diana was a perpetual victim of everyone around her. She wasn’t. As for her mother being a ‘bolter,’ her mother left to avoid being beaten to death. Her mother was making a break from a wife-beater and Diana thinks that her mother coldly abandoned her. After a while, Diana should have seen that and second, I do not think that Charles lacked any love.
Thank you so much for this! I just said Something similar above before I saw your comment that she wasn’t the saint people thought. While her death was tragic, her end was due to her own recklessness I know I sound heartless but that’s what happened. She wasn’t a perpetual victim
I agree 100% she was reckless.
A mother who left her children with an abusive man did abandon them. Even if she knew he wasn’t likely to abuse the children, they still would be affected by seeing him abuse any new woman in his life.
Frances took her kids with her when she left and enrolled them in a London kindergarten. During proceedings, her ex-husband was awarded custody and then Frances lost custody of them and they were moved to their father’s home and schools. It wasn’t like Frances went off with a lover in a cavalier way.
Yes, this! I commented upstream that listening to her interviews for Andrew Morton’s book she seems to be nothing more than a mean, vindictive, 14-year-old girl. She knew Charles was not in love with her, married him & then punished him for it for the rest of their relationship.
Frances loved her children deeply and was very hurt when her own mother testified against her and limited her contact with her own children.
In that marriage, Diana was the victim. From the initial pretense, all other actions flowed.
Like the fruit of the poisoned tree.
This woman was so abused. And let’s not forget, those of us who cannot help but bring up Diana’s mental health issues any time Charles is painted in a bad light, Diana was nine-f’in’-teen when they got engaged and barely twenty when they married! Diana was a child suckered into marrying someone who didn’t care a whit about her. Charles was a grown man at thirty. I’m convinced this is where Andrew’s obsession with teens came from—his competitiveness with Charles. How did Charles snag a teenager? Andrew decided to get ALL the teens. Enter Jeffrey Epstein. Much like Jeff Ross being obsessed with Seinfeld dating teenaged Shoshanna Lonstein, then deciding to go out and get a teen of his own.
Yes by Charles and Camilla. That’s why I have a problem with Camilla championing domestic abuse charities and speaking out against coercive control.
She had contempt for Diana and I think her championing domestic abuse charities is an unfortunate choice considering…
I just want to see that dress steamed properly.
I know…it kills me every time
My reaction too…
I can see him saying that, I feel like they both went into the marriage with very different expectations – for Charles it was almost an arranged marriage of sorts, or a marriage out of duty – he didn’t think love was required. And I think Diana saw it differently, but I wonder if she ever actually loved him either.
It was all such a mess and I am sure Charles does not want all this dragged out again at this point in time, but the Crown is going to make people look at it all again.
Diana was very naive and bought into the whole fairytale of it all. 2 narcissistic and dysfunctional people from dysfunctional families were never really going to be a true love match. It was always going to end in tears. I think on some level they did care for each other but they were just not suited.
Agreed. I think they went into this marriage with 2 very different expectations and when said expectations weren’t met and was obvious they were never going to be met, the marriage which obviously started on shaky grounds, turned into a massive earthquake
Even if – and it’s an IF – Charles said that to her, I wonder what he was hoping to accomplish? Was it to be cruel? Was it to passively aggressively get HER to call off the wedding since he didn’t have the backbone to do it? Was it an attempt to be candid – something along the lines of “this is one of those arranged marriages for me so don’t be under any illusions” (although historically the arranged marriages were more useful when there was actual power-brokering and treaty-making going on in centuries past…). We’ll never know. Even if Diana had been familiar with the royals before, which it seems she was, she was still too young to fully appreciate what all of that meant. I suspect she also hoped he would grow to love her the way she wanted to be loved and was devastated when he didn’t (or couldn’t).
Even if Diana might have been vaguely aware of the messiness of the Windsors, she was nevertheless only 19 and married very quickly. This isn’t a situation where she actively pursued Charles for over a decade. And a 19 year old woman is still very much a girl in some ways and she probably believed that she could change him. Some of her actions later on might have been questionable, but this marriage started from a place where a 19 year old woman with not a lot of experience married a thirty something future king of the UK who was used to getting what he wants. Add to that the utter uselessness of the rest of the family, which we have seen repeated with Meghan, and it must have been impossible for her to navigate that mess. Especially when she didn’t have a solid family on her end either.
This is something that I think people keep forgetting, even in this post. she was 19! I think she had just turned 20 when they got married, right? I mean, that’s really young, even in 1981, to get married, and even more so when you factor in the age difference and the incredibly power imbalance. I don’t think it really clicked in my head until I turned 36 and thought about Diana dying at that age with a 15 year old son compared to my 6 year old son. She was SO young. and that doesn’t excuse everything, but it explains why they started out from such different places.
Diana, from what I can gather, loved the *idea* of Charles. The idea she had of Charles was what she held on to even until the end of the marriage. She always wanted him to be the person she imagined him to be, which is who she was in love with. I wonder if the scales had ever fallen from her eyes, would the marriage have gone on for as long as it did? I don’t know, and I kind of doubt it, but if Diana had not been clouded by that idealism, then much of what happened in the War of the Wales’ probably wouldn’t have happened at all.
Similarly Charles loved the “idea” of marrying Diana. He did not understand her nor did he try, he tried to play Henry Higgins by bringing philosophy books for her to read on their honeymoon so they could discuss them. He had a shady mentor in Van Der Post as well. He also thought DIana would turn a blind eye to Camilla so they could all be civilized. I think Charles did not understand why Diana would be upset about Camillla since he married Diana. Diana thought that since there could be no divorce, she would have the security of marriage and a loving home with children. She did trust Charles too much. Charles scales should have fallen from his eyes.
These people are cruel, selfish and thoughtless so I believe Charles did tell her he didn’t love her the night before the wedding. If I’m not mistaken, Diana was having doubts about getting married to Charles long before this but was persuaded by her sisters to go ahead with it because the announcement had already been made. I have a lot of sympathy for Diana and don’t blame for anything she did. She had no support from the Palace who was briefing against her in the press all the time. She did what she could to defend herself against those attacks.
Imagine the headlines if she’d left him at the altar. She’d have to leave the country.
And it would stir up comments that something “was wrong with” Charles. Charles would have had a lot to lose if she jilted him.
She and Bashir used each other, both got what they wanted out of that interview. Granted she may have regretted it but it served a purpose at the time. The Earl Spencer is just fishing for some cash from the BBC, am sure he’s already lawyered up ready to sue.
Also those engagement shots remind of the Top CEO’s cosplaying of Diana on her engagement photo op – both are wearing similar shades of blue.
Earl Spencer is as much an opportunist as Bashir and this plays into the Tories’ campaign against the BBC. Granted the BBC is a terrible news organisation and should get out of the news business but there is an agenda in the right wing press and the British establishment to radically change it. They think the BBC is too liberal but all it ever does is cater to the Government agenda and pretend to be impartial.
All true, yet it’s still better than the US media!
It’s hilarious because the Tories constantly make a habit of smearing the BBC as being biased towards the left, even though anyone who knows anything about the BBC knows that it’s the exact fucking opposite. The Tories know this too, but they pick at this thread because as with everything else they do, this shtick plays well with their supporters.
Diana was old enough to know what she was doing when the Bashir interview happened. It makes no sense to rehash any of this. The establishment is looking for a reason to discredit the interview and Bashir is the only one alive to be a scapegoat. Diana made the Windsors, particularly Charles, look very bad, and it will forever taint his image. Even if Diana came from a biased point of view, it remains impossible for him to defend his unwillingness to stop having mistresses. The non aristo world isn’t okay with bed hopping. Hence the media blackout about Billy and his rose gardening.
Yeah Earl Spencer is far from a decent person. He’s managed to keep using Diana for his own ends long after she’s been cold in her grave…
Both Diana and Charles (and really anyone remotely connected to their camps) are/were unreliable narrators.
I just feel so sad for prince Harry 😔😔😔😔😔
I also feel sad for him, but then I remember that he defended the woman who made his mother’s life a hell so….
Do you… do you not understand the dynamics at play there?
If this is true it’s unbearably cruel and also stupid. Grown man with heart, life experience and brain should never said this to young future wife. It’s receipt for failure of the marriage. Such words could never be forgotten especially said during highly emotional time before wedding. I can’t believe that’s true. Even if he didn’t love her, he had enough common sense to stay silent about this matter day before wedding.
Apparently he didn’t…(if) he said it. And I *do* believe he did. He is not above using ANYONE, including his own children, for his selfishness.
If Charles wanted to be ‘upfront’ with Diana then he should have told her he didn’t love her before they got engaged, not the night before the wedding. How on earth was she suppose to back out of it at that point.
Also I don’t know why they are dragging this interview out now. They can claim she was ‘tricked’ all they want but I 100% believe she wanted to do an interview just to get her side of the story on record. The year before Charles did an interview which no one cares or remembers. Diana also had the Andrew Morton book too, so regardless what Bashir did or didn’t do, an interview would have always happened at some point. I feel like someone has an axe to grind with the BBC. Maybe they’ve not been embiggening the Cambridge’s/ slandering the Sussex’s enough.
This is what I came to say. The proposal should have spelled things out clearly.
Yes – if he wanted a “business arrangement “ he should’ve said so…
He should have been totally honest with her before he even thought of proposing.
He left it a bit late, as clarifications go, IMHO. Still, it was clear to everybody (but her?) that she was being hired for a specific job – have children, look good in pics – and having grown up in the aristo set I don’t believe she was that naive, whatever she decided to claim afterwards. She was from the in-crowd, she knew the score.
Had she decided to build a friendship with PC and not follow inapplicable romantic notions, she would still be the beloved Princess of Wales, Kate would be nowhere near William, Camilla would still be a private citizen and Fergie and Andrew would still be holding the record for most messed up couple.
I disagree. She may have been an aristo, but to accept that your husband is going to cheat on you and that he’s in love with another woman is a lot to ask of any woman, especially a 19 year old. Sorry, this reminds me of the assumption that women are all aware of and in control of their physical and seductive appeal to men, as if we’re all born with some mystical knowledge of attraction and how it works (how often have we heard “she knew what she was doing when women end up in awkward or dangerous romantic situations?) At 19, I sure as hell didn’t know what I was doing, nor did any other peer of mine. Asking a 36 year old woman to participate in a sham marriage makes sense if it’s clear what she’s going to get from the bargain. To expect that of a 19 year old girl who, even as an aristo, was awkward, naive, and inexperienced, isn’t fair at all. I don’t think she knew the score. I think she was overwhelmed and swept away by it all–this was a girl who grew up reading romance novels! How many young and dumb girls think “it’ll be different with me?” How many grown ass women think that when infatuated with unsuitable men? Diana was young and beautiful–it wasn’t a reach for a 19 year old at the height of her beauty to assume she could charm her 30 year old husband into falling in love with her.
If Charles really wanted her to play the role of PoW and have her own discreet affairs on the side, then he should have told her so from the get-go. But I’m guessing he didn’t because he, like many powerful men, wanted it both ways: he wanted a pretty, shy, girl to be the mother of his children, fall in love with her babies, and ignore his shennanigans, and he wanted to have his sidepieces. I don’t think his vanity would have been able to withstand Diana finding a secret lover early in the marriage. They all placed so much importance on her virginity after all. And there would be no hiding an “open marriage,” ultimately. Too many people would know about it, and the public wanted their fairy tale, dammit! Diana was likely as enthralled with the idea of being a Princess who would be adored by the public, and that Princess would have to be “pure” and innocent-seeming, not a worldly, knowing woman with lovers.
We need to retire the Princess image for good. It’s a shitty, shitty archetype for women because it’s impossible to live up to its demands. To be a Pwetty Pwincess is ultimately to remain forever a girl in a woman’s body, in appearance as well as in attitude. Isn’t that what Kate has shown us? If she’s the epitome of a perfect princess, then being a princess means you have to stifle 9/10s of your spirit, hide your intellect and passions, and exist only to be seen and admired (so long as you remain childlike in appearance).
@lanne
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Exactly! The whole “she knew what she was getting into” argument it total BS. As if she was privy to all of the family’s dark secrets and true nature. She only saw what they wanted people to see. It’s no different than how it is in the real world. Depending on who you are with or what situation you are in, you only share a certain side of yourself. Only those closest to you know the real you and I doubt the Spencer’s had that kind of relationship with the Windsors.
@lanne Same here!
I’m honestly saddened to see the victim-blaming mentality here. Diana doesn’t have to be a saint, no one is. It doesn’t mean that she deserved what she went through or that she asked for it. He cheated on her, he was to blame.
He set the wheels in motion for all that was to happen after. Diana didn’t have a Harry by her side to support her. By some accounts, not even her own family was willing to help. She was isolated. Withholding affection from your spouse is a form of emotional abuse and not to forget the gaslighting, denials of any affairs, treating her as if she is crazy etc.
I’m not surprised she reacted the way she did or that she tried to get the press on her side. Imagine going through all that and having half the nation hate you.
One of these two was in his thirties and the other was a teenager, so I put the blame on Charles for not being clear when he proposed. I don’t approve of everything Diana did in her life but she did far more good than harm, was far more loving than vindictive.
She didn’t, which is what surprised and dismayed literally everyone in the royal family at the time. They didn’t understand how a girl, raised in one of the most rarefied aristocratic homes in the whole country, didn’t understand heads or tails about how aristocratic and royal society functioned. They didn’t realize that a lot of this lack of understanding was because her parents were divorced, because her mother left and her father got custody of the children, and the result of not having a “lady in the home” meant a fundamental lack of social occasions a girl of Diana’s upbringing would have otherwise had, which would have helped her get accustomed to the social mores of her crowd. Her stepmother wasn’t much help in this, because Raine Spencer was an outsider in her own way, and she wasn’t the sort to sit around imparting knowledge of these things to her step children. Diana’s own mother was less present in their lives than she would have liked. And Diana’s father wasn’t the sort to school his children on these things either.
The result of all of this was that Diana actually was completely unaware of what she was getting into. Perhaps one of the rare few in her society who actually was. Other girls of similar background and upbringing (Amanda Knatchbull for example), who had grown up with the requisite experience that Diana lacked, did know, and they turned Charles down for that exact reason.
Although I blame Diana for some of the things that she did in her life, but yes, she is a SAINT compared to Charles and Camilla. Charles is a disgusting and cowardly man, no matter how much y’all defend him, this does not change his truth, and Camilla is a witch and a home wrecker.
My most vivid memories of Diana are the photos of her visiting and shaking hands with AIDS patients. I will always love her for that. For those that don’t recall or weren’t born yet, way back when the wave of AIDS epidemic first emerged there was a great deal of misinformation about transmission (through spit! or sweat! Tears!—anything to spread fear). Can you imagine being ill & dying in the hospital and people are afraid to hold your hand or give you any physical comfort? Then Diana comes along and is photographed shaking hands, sitting with and comforting patients –without a hazmat suit or other PPE that was common at the time. Such courage and empathy. No member of the royal family has ever shown such selflessness and kindness and I doubt they ever will. Diana changed the world for the better.
I remember, and yes she really did shift the world view at the time. She had a heart.
She had such an instinct for the sorts of gestures that could make a visual impact, and such a good understand of how crucial that visual impact could be in shifting perceptions. It takes time and dedication to learn that sort of thing, but she did put in the work and was studious about examining her own public image, as well as how a public figure’s image could be shaped by the press and what it could be used for. People dismissed Diana for so long as an intellectual lightweight, in particular because she liked reading tabloids, and that was considered trashy and low brow. But she knew what a lot of other people who dismissed those tabloids didn’t know, which is how powerful tabloids are in shaping public perception. People still fail to understand that today imo.
I have a different take on this, I don’t think Charles told her this of his own accord.
Rather I think Diana cajoled this out of him at the last moment when she knew he couldn’t back out. My understanding is that she called him ‘Sir’ right up until the engagement, thereafter things ‘softened’ between them but she would have known his heart lay elsewhere. Diana would have known that Charles did not love her and that would have prompted the question. I think at that point Chuck was honest with her and that started to eat away at her.
Also people seem to forget that Charles had TWO mistresses at this point and Diana managed to win one of them over and was even seen modelling and wearing her dresses at very public events such as live aid. She was more concerned about Camilla bc Camilla was more tactical treated her as an adversary and not the wife. Camilla was also very unhappily married and her husband was shagging Anne so she understood the game better.
I love Diana and don’t blame her for some of her shadier behavior bc she was a child playing a very complicated adults game. Diana did what she needed to do in a family of vipers who tried to break her and make her into a step-ford wife looking the other way to Chucks indiscretions. Her treatment was inhumane.
I kind of believe that Charles did say this actually. Because he is *that* sort of guy, the sort of person who has an inexorable need to constantly explain and justify himself, because he feels he needs to tell people the truth, or else he’s being dishonest. If this happened, I do think he thought he was doing Diana a favour by dispelling any fantasies she might have had coming into the marriage, because that just seems like a very Charles thing to do somehow. “If I just explain myself, people will understand and empathize and will want to work with me.” It’s the same attitude at play with the disastrous Dimbleby interview where he admitted on camera to being unfaithful.
As for Camilla, from what I can understand, Diana saw Camilla as the fundamental reason why Charles was just not committed to their marriage. She figured that if Camilla would just go away, her and Charles might have had a fighting chance. And Tina Brown makes a case for this in her book, where she states that if Charles had agreed to end things and give up Camilla for good, while he and Diana might not have fallen in *love*, he would have at least been a bit more committed to try and make the marriage work, because he’s got nothing on the outside of that marriage to fall back on. I think that starting things up with Camilla really gave him a taste for the sort of relationship he really did want, and that inevitably set him on a path that more or less really doomed the Wales marriage completely, even if it might have been workable on some level otherwise. The more Charles dug in his heels about Camilla, the more Diana saw Camilla as the obstacle to Charles fully committing himself to her and loving her like she thought he would. I doubt she realized at first that Charles just wasn’t into her, Camilla or not, but as the years went by, I think Camilla became a convenient target for everything Diana thought was wrong with their marriage, even if she knew that it wasn’t the case. The truth was just that Charles was never going to love Diana the way Diana wanted him to, Camilla or no Camilla.
@A I’m just going around nodding and agreeing to your posts here. Very good points all around.
Ah yes, Lady Dale Tryon – aka Kanga.
Which is, by the way, a HORRIBLE nickname.
She didn’t stand a chance. The walking anachronisms of the BRF use up and spit out the married-ins. They do what they please and use the press to gaslight everyone else, rewriting their own history to suit.
The latest trailer for The Crown gave me chills. The actress portraying Diana channels so much vulnerability it is impossible not to rage against the Windsors and their treatment of her. They broke her and when she decided she would go out with a fight, they threw her to the wolves.
Yes, she had her issues but they sure did exploit her vulnerabilities to torment her and “put her in her place”. No wonder Kate is such an empty vessel – it’s the only way to survive. They truly made Meghan the new Diana.
Kate really does have an impossible job. Not forgiving her for her meangirl behavior (or terrible fashions) by any means! But she really can’t win or even dare to be herself with the royal “family.” They want her to restrict herself to “communicating through her clothing” and even then there is only one acceptable way to be. Have babies, be subservient to William and the entire enterprise. And I say this as a big fan of Meghan.
This is what Kate wanted, She was in her late twenties not 19, she knew William cheated she knew what he was. And her mother did not force her, I think Kate liked the idea of being a future Queen. I don’t feel sorry for her. Especially after how she treated Meghan.
Oh I agree that the two situations are very different. I’m not feeling sorry for Kate in the least. She could and should do a lot better, and she was awful to Meghan. I’m Just saying it’s an impossible setup, for anyone really.
The only way for a woman to survive marrying into that family is to be a well-behaved doormat.
I don’t believe this at all–when Diana arrived at the altar, Charles gave his approval and Diana allegedly said she looked beautiful for him.
Diana had a long history of telling fibs to gain sympathy from various sources.
She could also be incredibly manipulative at times.
However, I do believe she made an incredible difference in the world, most notably in her charities.
Charles is not innocent in this whole saga.
The thing is this is hearsay, Diana’s Psychic claims she said it. DIana’s words to Morton about the note Charles left to tell her he would be proud of her and looking forward to the wedding, I believe this not hearsay.
I always feel sad when I see or hear people describing her as manipulative. I see her as a young woman, without a lot of emotional support, isolated from her friends, dropped into an extremely dysfunctional family/dynasty/business with multiple power brokers, unceasing media coverage which swung from adoring t o critical on a dime, a husband who it is apparent, despite his vows, is not really interested in her, and a public for whom she was the repository of every princess fantasy ever. Toss in a first pregnancy just to top it off. It almost broke her, physically and emotionally. This is not a normal situation, and no-one can predict or truly imagine how that would be. Even Meghan, with experience and resources that Diana didn’t have, was bowed down by a similar situation. Diana fought for herself because no-one fought for her. She fought back with the weapons that were used against her. If Charles had treated her well, we probably never would have seen the cornered Diana fighting for her marriage. I don’t think she was inherently manipulative, and if after all she endured she had made some poor decisions or lost perspective about some situations, how could anyone be surprised? I personally look up to her as an inspiration of a strong, courageous and enduring woman, and do not demand perfection or sainthood.
Diana wanted to call the wedding off and was talked her out of it. So I can absolutely believe Charles said this to her and that’s why she didn’t want to go through with it. She was basically told “your face is already on the tea towels”.
IIRC, at the official engagement photo op, a RR asked “Is it true love, Lady Diana?” 19 y/o Di “Of course”
RR, asked Charles same..Charles “Whatever love is”
I am the same age as Di, was really into the whole fairy tale Royal wedding, set my alarm so I could watch it live here in US…as soon as he said that, I thought Well, this is gonna be bad.
Whew. All I could think listening to that interview, was that Diana was traumatized. Charles was immature and so was she. Age does not equal maturity or wisdom.
However the power imbalance – in terms of age, position, experience with the press and the family, between Charles and Diana, was immense. She would absolutely identify with #me too if she were still alive. I can’t imagine any royal family today celebrating a 30+ year old dating and marrying a teenager. That made my stomach turn.
Consider too, the sort of advice Charles was working with, which came from his great uncle and mentor, Louis Mountbatten–spend your youth sowing wild oats with as many women as you can, and then settle down with a nice, inexperienced young girl who’s never had a taste of that sort of life so she won’t feel tempted to go down that path so that you can have a quiet, permissive marriage.
Like, I like Louis Mountbatten as a historical figure and a personality, but that shit is messed up to impart as advice to anyone, let alone the Prince of Wales and future monarch.
Mountbatten’s own marriage was a mess so he was not one to give this sort of advice. He had ambitions for his granddaughter Amanda to marry Charles, and he might have talked her into it, but he was killed in that terrorist attack.
Diana had the cards stacked against her from the beginning. She was born to parents who had a rocky marriage and a father who was abusive. Once her parents separated she took the subsequent divorce very badly and when “acid Raine” came into the picture the resentment was insurmountable. She’d had to deal with a lot of emotional trauma by the time Charles noticed her but she hero-worshiped him as her saviour. I remember a picture taken of her standing in an airport seeing Charles off on some royal tour and she was crying. Everyone thought it was because she was going to miss him so badly but it was actually because she noticed the cufflinks Camilla had given him – entwined Cs – and was clearly heartbroken. Yes her behaviour was, at times, unfathomable and hysterical but look at all she’d gone through at such a tender age. To be thrown to the wolves (aka Grey Men) at that point must have been horribly damaging on top of everything else.
If anyone should be castigated it’s Charles. He never stopped seeing Camilla (and others) on the sly, never respected the marriage vows and clearly looked at her as nothing more than a appropriately aristo brood mare.
” Everyone thought it was because she was going to miss him so badly but it was actually because she noticed the cufflinks Camilla had given him – entwined Cs – and was clearly heartbroken.”
^^^ This is particularly a cruel thing to do to young wife. I’ve always tried to be neutral towards Camilla bc humans are fallible, but reading things like this makes it very hard to let go.
And didn’t charles tell diana that he did not intend to be the only prince of wales who didn’t have a mistress. his own sicko father, the duke of edinburgh also agreed he could have a mistress. he went into that marriage with all the power. i am so happy she fought back.
But is it Camilla’s fault that Charles lacked the sensitivity and tact to think of things like that? The way Diana was deceived by Charles was certainly wrong and that is on Charles. He was needlessly deceptive and cruel towards Diana.
Arranged marriages worked for centuries and yes, they get a bad rep but most weren’t awful. The spouses were friendly enough with each other and going about their lives and running a household in those days wasn’t as easy as it is now so being the spouse was more a job than being the mistress.
All Charles and grey men had to do was figure out if Diana would be a willing participant in an arrangement instead of leading her on the way they did. If she wasn’t, he would’ve found another aristo in Europe who was willing to participate.
NotSoSimple they could have made the same arrangement Donnie had with Melania. Melania was more than willing to sign off on that plan. But the grey men were stuck in the 1700’s and out there seeking a virgin.
Melania agreed with it, I doubt Diana would. I recall that Jackie kennedy was blindsided by her husband’s cheating and wanted out but her father in law talked her out of it and was said to give her a large settlement to stay in the marriage.
Not only did she hero worship Charles as her saviour, I think Diana really did imagine that she herself would be *his* saviour. That she could rescue him from the clutches of his cold, sad family, devoid of any real love for him, by just showing him enough affection. That she could fix the broken boy inside so that eventually he could become the man she wanted him to be for her in turn. By fixing him, she could fix herself somehow.
It’s a good cautionary tale as to why that’s just never a good reason to get into a marriage. Or a relationship.
Notable that it was the last time the men in grey tried to have an arranged royal marriage.
So a young Lady marries a Windsor with hope and yearning and time and time again the men in grey put her in her place. Now where did we see this before. Ah yes, the Duchess of Sussex. And both women pushed back, but with completely different endings to the story. One whisked his true love off to seek their happy ever after and the other moved on with his mistress.
The Men in Grey need to back off and let some women run the show for a while.
They tried and failed with Diana and Meghan. But they ostensibly succeeded with Kate, who has essentially toed their line faithfully in exchange for her position for a long time. She agreed to fit their mold, in spite of all the indignities they throw her way, and all the ways they humiliate her to reinforce how beneath them she is, which is exactly how the men in grey want things to be.
Indeed. And she bent, and bent and bent until they have broken her.
I feel the keyword there is broken. Kate seems like a shadow of her former self.
What the indignities they throw in Kate’s way? It seems to me that the courtiers like her because she is silent, doesn’t have a voice or personality
She is different Oh. They like her because she is desperate for acceptance and bends easily and follows all their rules. dress as you are told. wear the pantyhose, wear the court shoes, here is the protocol, no THIS is the protocol, your husband will cheat and you will accept it, don’t defend yourself, never speak up, put your husband before yourself, present the child on the steps same day.. until a girl is noone.
Yet Kate was mean to Meghan. Behaving like a mean girl.
Kate disappeared in spring 2019 when the rose story went public and got an RVO from the queen after about two months of hiding. She’s not as ok with the cheating as they claim her to be.
And going after Meghan with Carole’s help was an obvious sign of jealousy toward a woman who didn’t sacrifice her entire life to be a princess and she gets a spouse who actually loves her.
Marrying a prince is one thing. Expecting the prince to love you and think of such a thing as love and romance is another. Once again, I think Kate went into her arrangement with eyes wide open and this is evidence of such.
Bashir’s ethics have always been horrible in journalism but I still think it was better him interviewing Diana than someone else in the UK. Only way it could have been better is if it was an American journalist. Can you imagine if it was Piers or someone who was more supportive of the royals? They would have eaten her alive and she would have shut down. Bashir made it happen and it was one of the few honest interviews to come out of that family.
Diana was a Cancerian through and through! “Queen of People’s Hearts” It makes such sense. And to be told your fiancé doesn’t love you on the eve of your wedding? Devastating for anyone but especially for those Cancer-born who live for love and romance. Fairy tale destroyed…sigh…This whole story is so heartbreaking.
At 19 i am a hopeless romantic and in her situation, i guess she believes she will make charles loves her.
In her 30, she fought for her marriage. Wouldnt you do the same?
Isnt that what we suppose to do before we surrender, fought for our love.
Then she know she had lost, in the most public and embarassing way with so much pressure and no support from everyone around her.
Wouldnt you snap too.
She accepted that it was over ca. 1989 and gave up trying.
I grew up Mormon and ultimately also made the wrong choice as an inexperienced young woman. Some people are strong enough to break free of highly restrictive cultures before making pivotal life decisions and commitments, but not all. The expectations of parents, extended family, friends, and basically everyone else in the world you inhabit are incredibly powerful forces and it takes a very strong will, presence of mind, and most crucially a trust in oneself to break out and make decisions which are antithetical to that system, especially systems where trust in oneself is not just not encouraged, but often actively discouraged. It took me a long time to forgive myself for not trusting my gut, but I’d also spent a lifetime being conditioned I shouldn’t. I don’t see growing up in the aristocracy in the 80’s and 90’s as that much different. Dianna was 19, NINETEEN, when she married Charles. I don’t care how many signs or misgivings she had, he and his family took advantage of an intentionally inexperienced young woman precisely because she was young and inexperienced enough to take advantage of.
I don’t see a problem with Charles saying that. They effectively had an arranged marriage. They had thirteen ‘dates’ before marrying, and only a handful of those were anything like normal time together where they could get to know each other. They didn’t have sex before marriage either so there wasn’t even that connection.
Diana obviously had fairytale expectations, but it would have been strange if Charles did love her at that point. He barely knew her, and the marriage was something he had been very openly cajoled into. IMO it would have been much crueler to play along with Diana’s fantasies and pretend it was a grand romance and not an arrangement.
Whats the goal charles had in saying this to her the day before the wedding, i dont really love you. Was he too chicken to call off the wedding and was hoping she would? I mean why else say that ?