Rudy Giuliani spews lies and at least two angry farts while testifying in Michigan

Giuliani Press Conference at RNC Headquarters

Rudy Giuliani was in Michigan this week, trying to convince Michigan lawmakers to toss out their election results and disenfranchise tens of thousands of voters, mostly Black voters. There were hearings and Rudy brought in some people from a mental institution to “testify” about the voter fraud they witnessed, which for the most part was a toxic combination of racism, bigotry, insanity and lies. There were several “highlights,” but for me, the biggest moment was when Rudy got so upset, he farted in the middle of a rant.

People who think this is fake: it is not. You can see it on Rudy’s face and on Jenna Ellis’s face beside him. They both reacted. You can actually see the fart get released too as Rudy’s eyebrow quivers in that moment. Ellis smelled it too.

Then there was this woman, Melissa Carone, who is Rudy’s star witness. Carone has apparently been making the rounds of conservative media with her unhinged story of ballots being “smuggled” in and a massive conspiracy of… something. People say that she might be drunk? I hope Cecily Strong gets to play her on SNL. Cecily could do it better than Kate McKinnon.

And apparently Rudy farted TWICE! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!

Giuliani Speaks to the Media

Giuliani Speaks to the Media

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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72 Responses to “Rudy Giuliani spews lies and at least two angry farts while testifying in Michigan”

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  1. Kalana says:

    Where are his people? Why hasn’t he retired? Surely he has enough money. Why is he putting himself through this?

    • Escondista says:

      God I don’t know! Severe mental decline? Lots of boomers genuinely believe this stuff with all their being but I’m wondering if Rudy doesn’t have as much money as we believe to retire comfortably in the lifestyle in which he’s accustomed? If he’s foolish enough to do this I cannot imagine he’s made great choices in the past.

      • Sunny says:

        He’s been divorced four times right? That can’t help his finances. I think he’s broke like you said.

      • BeanieBean says:

        And lots of boomers don’t believe this. Stop with the ageism! Certainly that blonde crazy woman isn’t a boomer.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Never underestimate a politician’s ego. On top of that, an old white rich man with declining faculties. He loves the spotlight.

    • MaryContrary says:

      I think the Russians have something/many things on him too. That has to be part of his desperation to get Trump re-elected. And to show Trump so much fealty that he pardons him.

      • Sparky says:

        I agree that Trump is dangling a pardon in front of him

      • whatWHAT? says:

        his reaction to that legislator making the pardon comment was very telling.

        if he hadn’t requested one, he’d be like “oh, that’s nonsense and has nothing to do with this”…but his EXTREME reaction of “are you going to let him get away with this? punish him immediately!” reeks of methinks the lady doth protest too much.

    • Nev says:

      Exactly. Go to Florida already and SIT DOWN.

    • GamerGirl says:

      I think he’s doing it because he NEEDS money. Plus, like T++++, he seems to crave attention.

    • Amando says:

      Because he loves the attention and “power”.

  2. JanetDR says:

    If she’s not drunk, she’s on something! And Rudy… The whole thing is beyond parody at this point. But I imagine that Cecily and Kate can get me to laugh though, vs. despair for my country.

    • Esmom says:

      She’s also an actor, Twitter had the receipts last night. Rudy hired two-bit actors. I cannot believe this clown show continues to make the rounds, and that a good chunk of people buy all the fabrications.

    • Jennifer says:

      Nope, her acting profile is still all over twitter. And so is info on her arrest and probation on computer fraud.

    • Jaded says:

      She just finished probation a few months ago for committing an unnamed computer crime. She and her partner also got busted for filming a pr0n video which they sent to another woman who they then accused of stealing it and tried to sue her. She managed to strike a plea deal with Michigan prosecutors, who in turn dropped a first degree obscenity charge against her. She also lied on her CV about having a couple of university degrees.

      Sounds like a charming woman doesn’t she…

    • E.B. Mann says:

      “Odor in the court!”

  3. Giddy says:

    Lies create methane! Who knew?

  4. Chaine says:

    Is this another one of those fake hearings?

    • Escondista says:

      Yes it’s not a court hearing, it’s a legislative oversight hearing 🙄

      • josephine says:

        And my understanding is that they are not even under oath????

        And wasn’t she in some type of legal trouble of her own? She really seems unhinged. Hope she gets the mental health care that she needs. Or jail if she’s just lying for her 15 minutes.

  5. Redgrl says:

    She’s either drunk, stoned or in the throes of a mental illness episode. It’s really sad that Trump & co. continue to exploit someone who is clearly not well.
    Speaking of people who are not well, who are the idiots cheering when Giuliani makes his deranged arguments? He’s also lost his mind but he’s also extremely dangerous.

  6. L84Tea says:

    Ugh, he makes me feel physically ill. He’s so gross.

  7. Rapunzel says:

    And even worse than Carone was the woman who said we need voter ID because “All Chinese look alike”

    Good flipping Lord.

    • Esmom says:

      That was the most insane “testimony,” it felt like it could not possibly be real.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      she also said something like “if some Chow comes in to vote” – “Chow” meaning “Chinese person”. she actually used a racial epithet.

  8. Gil says:

    Kaiser, I love your headlines 😁

    • tempest prognosticator says:

      I do, too. It’s my brother’s birthday today so I took a screenshot of the headline and texted it along with my birthday salutations. He loved it.

  9. K.T says:

    Don’t you think that blond ‘high’ lady looks like Alison Roman, similar sense of smugness with an extra bit of facism?! Lol

    • Esmom says:

      I see that, lol. Although Carrone’s voice reminds me a lot of Sarah Palin’s. Ugh

    • Cheryl says:

      I read on another site comparisons to “Kitty” the Bluth secretary on Arrested Development, and I cannot unsee that.

  10. Darla says:

    OMG what a headline I’m dying. I can’t even read more, I am laughing too hard but also really grossed out. Why are he and Trump always farting??? A couple of fartbags!

  11. Züri says:

    I’d seen the Carone video– think SNL should bring back Victoria Jackson to play her.

    Had zero clue about Rudy’s farts (he’s clearly melting at both ends)…pure gold.

    • CommentingBunny says:

      OMG you are a genius!

    • Tiffany :) says:

      Victoria Jackson is a big Trump supporter and was also obnoxious during Tea Party movement. She can stay out of this.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      nah, Cecily Tyson will do just fine. she already played a character like this on Weekend Update – “the girl at the party you’re sorry you ever started a conversation with”, or something like that. and this woman sounds exactly like the character.

      and, as noted, Jackson is currently a batsh*t crazy Q-anon/antivaxx/Trump supporter/bigot.

  12. Insomniac says:

    So Rudy released the Krakens, eh?

  13. grabbyhands says:

    I mean, all of it has been a sham, but this was a particularly obnoxious one.

    The fact that he reminds everyone that he’s not under oath is the same thing as holding up a sign that says “I’m saying a bunch of shit I just made up because I didn’t promise to tell the truth, but I told you so it’s okay”. Like, he’s literally broadcasting that none of them is obligated to be truthful and yet his cult just eats this shit up.

    Also, how bad does your star witness have to be fucking up for crazy, farty Grandpa Munster to try and get them to stop talking?

    I want to find it all more hilarious than I do, but the grim reality is that all of this is doing damage (not to Biden. Not even to 45, but to our process) and becoming more normalized the longer it is allowed to go on. Maybe instead of this ridiculous freak show, Giuliani should be admonishing his fellow legal team for going on air and saying Chris Krebs should be hanged and drawn and quartered or maybe condemning the monsters who are saying election workers should be hanged for treason.

  14. Snuffles says:

    SNL is gonna have s field day with this!

  15. K-Peace says:

    I remember when we all had so much goodwill for Giuliani, after 9/11. “America’s Mayor”. We all liked & admired how he led us as a nation through the days following 9/11. He provided reassurance & leadership; we looked to him for guidance; we LIKED him. I barely remember THAT Giuliani now. He’s blown his legacy to smithereens, made himself into a laughingstock, and ruined any trace of goodwill that we had for him. WHY would he do this?? It’s just absolutely crazy.

    • Darla says:

      He was never really not crazy though. I remember pre 9/11 and he went on some kind of a rampage against ferrets on a radio talk show. Some poor guy called in about his ferret, it was wild. Rudy’s always been crazy, but you know what, things don’t get better with age. So yeah I think he’s gotten worse, but he was never all that, and 9/11 hid a lot of disturbing stuff about this clown.

    • Kalana says:

      New Yorkers were done with Rudy until 9/11. Then we loved him, but that changed again when he started talking about extending his term or changing the rules he could run again. He has always pushed things too far.

  16. Rapunzel says:

    DiaperDon and RippingRudy. Two peas in a pod.

  17. LaUnicaAngelina says:

    “And apparently Rudy farted TWICE! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!”

    I f@cking died!!! 😂🤣☠️

  18. Amelie says:

    I think the best Tweet I saw of this was that the SNL writers could take the week off because nothing they produced would be able to match the original rant of the crazy blonde lady and Giuliani’s farts.

  19. Rose says:

    Trump has dirt on him. Has to be the answer

  20. nicegirl says:

    Lady, this writing is pure comedy gold. We bow down. I demand a recount, I cannot even with this omg I’m cackling in the kitchen AGAIN

    what would we ever do without you?

  21. Sam the Pink says:

    The best lawyer the leader of the free world could locate is a man with a loose sphincter and cheap hair dye. Boy, this is a sad commentary on things, isn’t it?

  22. GoogleIt says:

    This is the same woman who went on Fox a couple weeks ago to complain that she was promised free lunch for her polling work, but when the food arrived they only brought enough food for 1/3 of the people. Her conclusion was that the catering vans were filled with illegal ballots instead of her free lunch.

  23. Freddy says:

    Not to be an ageist…but at his age farting in public could be dangerous……

  24. Veronica S. says:

    It’s a political sham to create propaganda they can repeat ad nauseum for the next four years. Exhausting, but the rest of us are going to have to be prepared to fight it off politically if we want to save the country.

  25. Josie Bean says:

    I found the situation with the blond woman quite sad. The gentlemen trying to hold a respectable hearing were having to deal with such disrespect from her and Rudy. This is what it has come to???? How very sad indeed.

  26. PaulY says:

    I can’t decide which is better — her “‘sponsored by Crack Barbie’ legal” argument 🤯 or Rudy’s prompt and utterly convincing re(butt)al 💨😭🤣

    I’ll see myself out 🚪

  27. Belly says:

    This is the best thing I have seen in ages. Ages!!
    Oh, my sides.
    Gawd, I can’t stop giggling. Thanks, Santa!!

  28. Jojo says:

    Rudy tested positive for Coronavirus of course he will get the medicine that Trump received.Medicine that most Americans don’t have access to.