You know all those people who keep asking how low could 2020 possible go? Well, we found it. We found the absolute ground zero of pure depravity. Lifetime, for reasons no one can possibly explain, is giving us a 15-minute holiday romance murder movie centering around Colonel Harland Sanders – the face of Kentucky Fried Chicken – as the main love interest. Mario Lopez will play Colonel Sanders and the short film is called, A Recipe for Seduction. You go ahead and read those sentences as many times as you need, but I promise you, they will never make sense. The fact that it’s a brand sponsorship from KFC only partially clears things up. Here’s what TV Line had to say about it:
Lifetime and KFC revealed on Monday that Mario Lopez will play Colonel Sanders in A Recipe for Seduction, which is being touted as a “Lifetime Original Mini-Movie Presented by Kentucky Fried Chicken,” but is surely just a long commercial. I mean, that’s what we want to assume. (Update: It’s indeed a 15-minute mini-movie, I am assured.)
“Some folks take their secrets to the grave, but Colonel Sanders takes his to the deep fryer,” reads promo copy on the KFC Facebook page, while the “movie” poster (below) features the teaser line, “We All Have Our Secrets, His Just Happens to Be… A Recipe for Seduction.”
The official synopsis on Lifetime’s website says, “As the holidays near, an heiress (played by Bosch alum Justene Alpert) contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef arrives with his secret recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravel the mother’s plans.”
The main take away here is the #FingerLicking jokes, but it’s Lifetime so they won’t actually do them justice. If this was airing on HBO Max, you’d see the sailor in me unleashed. However, there are plenty of other jokes to be made, like the fact that Mario tweeted out his holiday murder romance on Pearl Harbor Day, which simply invites punchlines involving bombs. Or that the secret recipe may include 11 herbs but not prematurely greying, buffed up home cooks. Twitter, of course, is having a field day with this. Both Us Weekly and TV Line are insisting this thing is not a parody. Is that so – let’s take a look:
“Secret’s out, chicken man.” How is that not a parody? Look at Mario in that shellacked spray job and modernized string-tie and tell me they aren’t having a go at all of us. And stop calling this man a chef, he’s a fry cook who over dresses his slaw!
But I digress. The question is, will we actually see this? And gawd help me, yes – yes, I will. Because it’s just weird enough to rope me in. Col Sanders tied up in a basement as two lunatics threaten him with his own carving knife in a Christmas movie? Hallmark would never. And who is the poor dead guy on the stairs? What did he do, and does it involve the biscuit recipe? I am way too invested now. Not to mention, think of the fast-food murder romance holiday genre to come. Ronald McDonald is sent to Death Row after being framed by the Hamburglar just so he can steal Ronald’s sweetheart – and the recipe for his Shamrock Shake. To save the love of her life, Wendy must use frozen beef for the town’s Easter picnic!
Mario’s Murder Romance Holiday Mini-Movie will be gifted to all of us on Lifetime, December 13th at noon. Th movie poster doesn’t specify noon in what time zone, but when Southern-Fried holiday romance murder is at stake, do time zones really matter?
Loved Cobain in the Original…
But Excited to see what @mariolopezviva does in the reboot! #RecipeForSeduction
@lifetimetv #kfc #kurtcobain pic.twitter.com/Mf4maednB1
— Andre Hyland (@AndreHyland) December 8, 2020
‘A Recipe For Seduction’ pic.twitter.com/U53kiDHQ0g
— RetroNewsNow (@RetroNewsNow) December 7, 2020
Photo credit: Twitter and Avalon
“No” as soon as I read the headline. Still “No” after seeing the clip. Missed opportunity to make it a telemundo parody.
At first I thought I didn’t have enough coffee to hen I read this, thank you for explaining the weirdness. And yes I too will watch because it’s like an accident where you can’t look away. One question, this will all get played out in 15 min???
By the way, love the scenario about the hamburgers and frozen shake.
oh I was hoping it would be a full length movie. I am a sucker for ridiculous movies – I’ve seen all of Sharknado and at last another dozen more of similar of Asylum output.
I have seen all the Sharknado movies too. Check out the short “Buicknando” on YouTube if the clip for crowd funding is still up.
“But I digress. The question is, will we actually see this?”
YES! I have wasted more than 15 minutes in agony on Donald “Brokeahontas” Trump so 15 minutes to Mario Lopez for a good laugh is not a problem.
If the adage about any publicity being good publicity is true, then they’ll have achieved the purpose of this commercial mini movie. I first was introduced to them via America’s Next Top Model season 16 Tyra directed it and it was crazy! Maybe she could direct KFC’s next one.
He will really do ANYTHING for a paycheck!
I grew up in the same town, and he was my sister’s age and they went to school together. He is NOT a good dude. I have heard so many stories…
OMG saaaaame. Everyone I know says he’s such a d-bag. 619, represent! 😉
You mean like cheating on his wife the night before his wedding? I’m talking about his first wife, not the current one. Didn’t he say some offensive sh*t not too long ago about transgender kids ?
@anne – 619 representin!
@ME, he was a spoiled child star (Kids, Inc, then Saved by the Bell), in the age pre-internet. He got away with a LOT as a teen, some of it criminal. His adult behavior only confirms that he hasn’t grown out of his arrogance.
The marketing people at KFC are really “creative.” This mini movie comes after having had Colonel Sanders someone you could date in SIMs (popular video game). The press release was a joy to read (“fowl play”); I’m honestly jealous of the comms person who got to write it.
I am 100% tuning in for this. Though I’m not sure how I feel about rebranding Colonel Sanders as a sex symbol.
Your last sentence is what makes this so…2020. I feel like only in Trump’s America, Col Sanders is a sex symbol. I feel like whoever on their team decided to do this needs a different creative outlet or profession, maybe.
It reminds me of when I worked on credit card direct mail and we had art directors determined to turn each piece into some edgy advertising because their highly sophisticated sensibilities wouldn’t allow them to create anything simple or straightforward.
You know Trump will have this running on a loop.
Oh its only 15 minutes?? I didn’t realize that. I will definitely watch this, even though the trailer was super painful.
Movies like this make me realize that I probably could have made it in Hollywood, right? I mean I can come up with all sorts of stupid ideas too. What am I doing wrong?!?!?
No, not for me. I don’t like Mario at all.
my friend referred to him as KFC Slater and i cry-laughed for a good two minutes
Your friend is a genius and I am never referring to him as anything else 🤣🤣🤣
I think I’ll pass on this one.
I was gamed for it. But then I remembered this clown is a transphobic piece of crap so…I will be skipping it.
Let me think…err…brain freeze. Bleach needed. No! Nope! Hell no!
I’m so Kentucky Fried Ch…ecking this out!
I’ll see myself out.
Ha! Yeah, I wasn’t sure at first, but now I’m pretty confident I won’t miss it
I will totally check this out, mainly because it looks crazy, and I missed out on all the sharknado fun.
Doesn’t Mario Lopez look kind of sad in the poster for the movie though? 🙁
I can’t stand this man. I think if it were anyone else I would see the humor for what it is.
That’s a hard NO from me. I’ve detested him since the Ali Landry debacle.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Breathe …no…😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 breathe ….. still a giant no. I can’t believe this is real!
Yuck. Ew. Gross. Barf. Chuckle chuckle chuckle. He’s a traveling circus entertainer.
Lifetime has done this kind of “trolling” SNL type skit movie before. Remember Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell’s Lifetime movie A Deadly Adoption??? We were all confused by the trailer because it didn’t seem like a “typical” Lifetime movie but rather a parody of one. Here’s the trailer to refresh you all lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6U-e_83RGQ And that was a full 84 minute MOVIE. Later Will Ferrell confirmed the whole point was the absurdity of Lifetime movies. I still have yet to see it.
I watched A Deadly Adoption. It was awesome.
Lifetime knows its audience and leans into it, sometimes with self awareness and humor.
What a way to kick 2020 off on a bang. Everyone is losing their minds and Lifetime comes up with this parody diguise as a murder mystery with a wild, hot embrace of a strappy man with a bucket of KFC. You can’t make this one up. I hope this mess becomes a classic like many christmas movies like Home Alone francise. This is so Funny anf I will watch this melodrmatic mess.
If only White Castle think of something like this?
This is HILARIOUS! Wonderful marketing. This gets an A+ from me.
This is something to watch if you’ve smoked a couple of bowls.
Yes, I will totally watch this.
I also like that ABC Family Christmas movie he’s in with Melissa Joan Hart.
no, i think i’ll pass. maybe if he still had his mullet form “saved by the bell”…. nah still a hard no from me!
I’ve never been so excited about a lifetime movie! LoL can’t wait!
That’s a hard no for me!
I’m late to this party but kept seeing it referenced in comments on other stories so here I am. All I have is WHAT????