Pres. Biden & Dr. Jill talk about their marriage: ‘She’s the glue that held it together’

Trump visits FEMA headquarters for a briefing on Hurricane Laura

When the Obamas came into the White House, it felt like the country quickly became dizzy with giddiness at seeing an attractive, photogenic, historic First Family in the people’s house. We were obsessed with them and we wanted to know everything. Then, that white supremacist family came in and no one wanted to know anything about them. We didn’t want to see photos of them, we were not enamored with the pageantry or any of that. The Bidens in the White House… it feels different from the previous two families. They’re older, they don’t have kids in the house, they have grandkids who visit. They’re not this younger, photogenic couple (although I think Dr. Jill photographs well, she’s not the statuesque icon that Michelle is). My point is that I’m very happy that the Bidens are in the White House but I’m glad that there isn’t an obsessive interest in the superficial stuff, the imagery or the pageantry. That being said, I was so happy to see them on the cover of People! The energy is “a return to normalcy” and I’m really into it. You can see People Mag’s cover story here. Some highlights:

Dr. Jill is teaching via Zoom: Dr. Biden — or “Dr. B” to her students — is back to teaching English at Northern Virginia Community College, though instruction is over Zoom for now. She is the first presidential spouse in modern memory to juggle a separate career. “That’s my passion,” she says. “That’s my life.”

Pres. Biden on whether the White House feels like home: “It’s surreal … but it’s comfortable. We were here for eight years, just not in this part of the residence. Spent a lot of time in the Cabinet Room and the Oval with the president. So upstairs [in the private family quarters] is new.

Pres. Biden on his inauguration: “This was maybe one of the most consequential inaugurations in a long, long time — not because I was being sworn in, but in the sense of what the state of the nation is, between everything from COVID to unemployment to racial inequality. We wanted to make sure that as many Americans could participate as possible, and it turns out millions of people watched it. We have such an incredible opportunity as a country now. Not because of me but because the American people sort of had the blinders ripped off, and they realized that, man, we have problems, but we also have enormous opportunities.

Pres. Biden on the secret of their marriage: “She has a backbone like a ramrod. Everybody says marriage is 50/50. Well, sometimes you have to be 70/30. Thank God that when I’m really down, she steps in, and when she’s really down, I’m able to step in. We’ve been really supportive of one another. I’ve read all that data as well about families under pressure, and that’s why I’m glad she kept her profession. It’s really important that she’s an educator, although she took off two years when we first got married because the boys were little. It’s important that she has the things that she cares a great deal about, her independence. And yet we share each other’s dreams…She’s the glue that held it together, and I knew that I wanted to marry her shortly after I met her. … It’s not that we don’t fight and argue sometimes. I’m just lucky.”

Dr. Biden on their marriage: “All that we’ve been through together — the highs, the lows and certainly tragedy and loss — there’s that quote that says sometimes you become stronger in the fractured places. That’s what we try to achieve.

Pres. Biden on prayer & faith: “I don’t want to proselytize. My religion, for me, is a safe place. I never miss mass, because I can be alone. I mean, I’m with my family but just kind of absorbing the fundamental principle that you’ve got to treat everyone with dignity. Jill, when she wants me to get a real message, she tapes it on the mirror above the sink where I shave. And she put up a great quote from Kierkegaard saying, “Faith sees best in the dark.” Other people may meditate. For me, prayer gives me hope, and it centers me.

No nepotism: “We’re going to run this like the Obama-Biden administration. No one in our family and extended family is going to be involved in any government undertaking or foreign policy. And nobody has an office in this place.

[From People]

“She has a backbone like a ramrod” is not the compliment I would want to receive, but I get his point. Throughout the piece, he also talks about how proud he’s always been of Jill’s teaching career and how he loves that she has that independence. Jill also joked that after 40-some years and all of the tragedies they’ve survived, they don’t have anything to fight about anymore. Also love that President Biden isn’t here to proselytize – he’s always had his faith, he’s always relied on his faith, and he’s not here to perform his faith.

Biden Departs for Walter Reed National Military Center

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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35 Responses to “Pres. Biden & Dr. Jill talk about their marriage: ‘She’s the glue that held it together’”

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  1. Midge says:

    Yet those who would claim religiosity so loudly have followed trump and snubbed Biden. The hypocrisy of the religious right is glaring.

    • TIffany says:

      Their problem with Biden is not his faith, it is what he does with it. Ie: he ain’t out here being a white supremacist Catholic.

    • Julie says:

      The religious right in the US has always viewed the Catholics as papists and by extension heretics. That’s why I was always so amused to see Catholics aligning with Trump and his cohort of televangelists. But I think for them it came down to social conservatism e.g gay rights, pro choice rights and freedom to discriminate. Interested to see whether biden’s churchgoing ways manage to pry the Catholics from this unholy Union. .

      • Noodle says:

        Trump’s selection of Amy Coney Barrett always brought about this question to me. Many evangelicals and fundamentalists wouldn’t consider Catholics to be even Christian, because they haven’t been born again. Why did Trump select her, and the Evans/Fundies got behind it, for the Supreme Court? Surely there were plenty other anti-abortion jurists from which to choose? Was it the sect that set her apart? I never understood why they chose her, if she isn’t “Christian”.

    • betsyh says:

      Agree, Julie.

    • MF1 says:

      Christians in the U.S. like to think they are persecuted for their faith. Trump feeds their victimhood complex by ranting about “religious freedom,” whereas Biden wants to use his platform to help those who need it most.

      Turns out, Christians aren’t actually interested in help their neighborhood unless their neighbor is a white evangelical who votes red.

  2. Diana says:

    Love them 😍😍😍😍 marriage goals.

  3. TIffany says:

    I still think about the two of them during the DNC convention and as they were wrapping up and the camera was still going and Dr. Biden let out a huge sigh and POTUS turn to her and said, ‘You did great there Jilly’, and giving her words of encouragement. That was a ‘hot mic’ moment.

    Something so small says so much about them.

    • Katie says:

      awww

    • Christine says:

      I agree. I am too old to ‘ship, but these two give my heart all of the feelings. The fact that he said she has always been the strong one, and he has a few moments where she has been down, and he has taken up the reins, so to speak, makes me even happier. What man Biden’s age would ever admit, publicly, that he knows his wife is the real strength in the family? I mean, without it being lip service…he knows, and he knows she knows he knows.

  4. FHMom says:

    Women are always the glue that holds families together. I think most men know that, even though they may not acknowledge it. The Biden’s seem so well suited; and on a superficial note, I find them to be an attractive couple. They could definitely do one of those dumb medication commercials that run during the nightly news.

  5. Katie says:

    Okay, I’ll admit I was lukewarm on them before about a month ago (I was confident though that Biden’d be solid, I just couldn’t get over Obama – I know, I know, it’s been four years, but I just couldn’t) but they have grown on me so much, they seem amazing, educated, tactful, respectful, dignified, honorable, and it’s a privilege to have them in this position.

    • Darla says:

      It’s Hillary I can’t get over. But I like the Bidens well enough.

    • MF1 says:

      Barack and Michelle will always, always be my faves, but the Bidens seem like genuinely kind people. And the more publicity Dr. Biden gets, the more I like her. She seems incredibly smart and lovely, and I’m thrilled to have a FLOTUS that has a passion for teaching. You know that Joe will make smart policy choices about education because of her influence!

    • Dee Kay says:

      I was never into Joe Biden at all until right before the election. I think the Biden-Harris media and social media teams did a tremendous job foregrounding the Bidens’ (and Harris-Emhoff’s) basic decency, intelligence, compassion, and frankly, just sanity. We just needed some sane, good, decent, smart, experienced people in the WH, and thank the Goddess, we got them. I’ve never felt so relieved to see a nice, normal, older couple in my entire life.

  6. Sandra says:

    It is so nice to see this. It’s so nice to have a first couple who love and respect each other again. It is so nice to see this smart, compassionate, accomplished, hard working woman as FLOTUS. We hadn’t had a respectable First Lady since the day Michelle Obama left the WH. So glad Dr. Biden is here.

  7. Leah says:

    So great to see a nice, loving family back in our house instead of the nightmare reality show. This is normal and it’s wonderful to see.

    Saw a pro-mask promo video with Dr Biden, Champ and Major and it was so much love. Those dogs were raised in a loving home and it shows.

  8. GuestwithCat says:

    The Harry Potter series more or less ended after Voldemort was vanquished with just one quick peak I’d at Harry and friends in their future during the peaceful time afterwards.

    I always wanted to see the storyline pick up during the “in-between” years and show us Hogwarts and the wizarding world being rebuilt and how they dealt with the remnants of the wizarding world, like the Purebloods that supported Voldemort, but not overtly enough to go to trial.

    Now I get my wish! We are about to live it. The Bidens are the main characters of this story.

  9. sassafras says:

    That 70/30 comment rings true for my 22 yr marriage. Sometimes one of us has to pick the other one up and hold everything together until we can get back to 50/50 again. It’s a beautiful thing and I’m glad to have a strong marriage in the White House. Not so much that it’s a “marriage”, per se, but how it shows two people who exemplify faith, resolve, character and love.

    • i ABSOLUTELY agree. When my husband or I is particularly emotionally overwhelmed with things we say “Catch me, I’m falling” to each other. And the answer is always, “I’m here, you can fall, and you can lay it all down on me for the moment” To me a strong marriage is being able to catch each other as we fall.

  10. deadnotsleeping says:

    I still wake up so thankful that he is president. I love them. I didn’t know much about Dr. Biden during the Obama years (that’s when my babies were born/small), but the more I learn the more I respect her.

  11. KNY says:

    It’s stunning to hear President Biden keep saying it’s an important time, but stress that it is not about HIM. I know everyone who is president or runs for president has at the very least a healthy ego, and I’m sure he does as well, but there is a degree of humility about him that is so wonderful and necessary.

    In the Summer, Jon Stewart was on Colbert and and talked about how he wanted Warren or Bernie for the nomination, but how Biden is the man for the moment because he knows what loss is. He puts it beautifully: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po22b-_bt2k

  12. Phuggi says:

    I had the opposite reaction to the backbone comment. I repeated it out loud and was like, “I hope I have a backbone like a ramrod.” I want to be strong in my principles and be recognized for it. I want my husband, after decades of marriage, to take strength from my strength. I like it!

    • outofthecloset says:

      Same. I think men who acknowledge the strength of their wives publicly are great.

    • AMA1977 says:

      I agree as well. And I appreciate a man who sees the strength his wife has and celebrates it. I would welcome that compliment. I love the fact that after 40+ years of marriage Joe still lets us know that he knows how lucky he is.

      I love them, but I especially love her. She reminds me of my mom, who went back to school with 3 young kids and also earned a Doctorate of Education. She has been an educator all of my life and I am in awe of all she’s given to her students over the years.

      It does my heart so much good to see such lovely, decent, caring people back in the People’s House.

  13. MandyLU says:

    I just love her and she seems to genuine and caring. I went to community college and saved so much $$$ and graduated with little debt because of it and community colleges are so underrated. I started going to cc in a lower income/diverse area in high school (a 20 min drive from my all white tiny conservative town) and the teachers went above and beyond to accommodate their students (many single parents who were late due to school drop off, teen parents, adults who have full time jobs, etc). They really wanted their students to succeed and improve their lives. After CC I went to a state university and the professors assumed everyone was a fulltime student with no jobs and could prioritize education above all else. Community colleges are just so much better and being inclusive and flexible and I see that in Jill.

  14. Dee Kay says:

    I noticed that Pres. Biden said Dr. Jill stayed at home for a couple of years early in their marriage “because the boys were little.” What a devoted stepmom. She probably saw those boys needed mothering, and she did it, giving up some years of her own work to put love and care into her new family. Admirable.

    • HoofRat says:

      When you marry a parent, you most often marry into a family that has experienced loss, whether through death, divorce or abandonment. It’s doubly complex, especially when the children have gone through significant trauma. Jill Biden is a freaking rockstar.

      • Ann says:

        Joe says when he and Jill were dating, the boys kept asking “when are we going to get married?.” So sweet. Also that when she was pregnant with Ashley they both wanted the baby to be a girl, and Joe and Jill let them choose her name. I don’t know how well they remembered their baby sister who died, they were both so young when it happened. But for their sake I’m glad the baby was a girl. Also, I really like what I’ve seen of Ashley.

  15. Holly hobby says:

    Wow People profiling the first couple again. I remember there were always year end articles about the first couple (bushes being the first I recall). That stopped with orange ass. Glad to see People is it doing these profiles again!

  16. Paramita says:

    I saw this site calling Michelle Dr Biden’s mentor. I don’t agree with that. MOBaMA is a larger than life goddess but Dr Jill is an icon of a different kind. She’s quiet and understated but don’t for an instant sell her short. She’s just as much a force as Michelle.