Jane Fonda: ‘I don’t have a husband or a lover, so I can do whatever I want’

Jane Fonda has an interview with Self that’s an overview of her bedtime routine. You know how much I love celebrity schedules and routines, I could read those all day. This is a promotional interview in that Jane talks about her products, she’s a spokesperson for Uncle Bud’s CBD and she talks about that and vaping to get to sleep at night. I really like how she framed her life in terms of being single and having freedom. I haven’t thought about that because I’ve lived with just my son for so long, but it’s true. When you’re single you don’t have to be beholden to anyone else’s habits, especially when it comes to your sleep schedule. She has an adjustable bed and she goes to bed early and watches tv until she falls asleep. I do that too! I try not to go to bed until after eight though. She also gets about nine hours of sleep, which sounds awesome.

I’m totally alone three days a week. And I love being alone.
I have my dog. That’s important. And I’ve never minded being alone. I do not get lonely. I read a lot. I write a lot. I’m active on social media. I prepare for my Fire Drill Fridays [a weekly virtual rally for climate change]. So I like being alone. The rest of the week, there’s a pod. There’s my assistant and a man who handles house things, if something goes wrong with the house, and he also cooks. So I’m not 100% alone all of the time.

But when I say I’m alone, I mean there’s nobody in bed with me.
Oh, my God, I mean, one of my husbands liked to go to bed early like I did. But needless to say, when we got in bed together I wasn’t reading or watching TV very much. Another husband liked to write during the night. Two of my three husbands were night owls. So we didn’t often get in bed at the same time.

I’m usually in bed by 6:30 or 7 p.m.
See, I live by myself. I don’t have a husband or a lover, so I can kind of do whatever I want. I’m usually in bed pretty early. I have a bed where you can lift up the head and lift up the feet. You know, like a hospital bed. It’s a very comfortable mattress. So I raise the head and I raise the feet, and I start to watch television.

I’ll usually go to sleep at about 9:30 or 10 p.m.
For Christmas, my niece, Bridget Fonda, gave me a weighted blanket. And it’s interesting, because I didn’t tell her this, but I like weight on me and for quite a long time I thought, I wonder if I should get a weighted blanket? Somebody told me about these blankets. They give them to people who suffer from anxiety, which I don’t. I just like the feeling of weight on me. So she gave me a 15-pound weighted blanket. I go to sleep so easily, and I sleep all night, and it’s divine.

I go to sleep with a vape pen, made by the company Dosist. And it’s called Sleep.
So it doesn’t get you high, but it’s four puffs and I’m asleep. I’m kind of obsessed with hemp. Not for the reasons that you might think, you know, because it makes you high. Because I don’t smoke pot to get high anymore.

[From Self.com]

I used to vape CBD oil and it did help me relax, but I noticed that my teeth were getting yellow from it. I know it’s not good for your lungs either, but vanity is ultimately what got me to stop. Now I just use the CBD drops on the weekends. I like how she framed her bedtime routine by the men she’s lived with. That’s one advantage I haven’t considered to being single. I get to go to bed whenever I want, which is ridiculously early by most people’s standards but not as early as Jane. I’m not bound to anyone else’s schedule. How does she sleep for nine hours though? My body wakes me up after seven no matter what time it is. Maybe I should get a weighted blanket.

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34 Responses to “Jane Fonda: ‘I don’t have a husband or a lover, so I can do whatever I want’”

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  1. Darla says:

    It is truly one of the best things about living alone, and the most underdiscussed. After years of serial monogamy, I don’t see myself living with a man again. I will have relationships, but I’m done with living together or marriage.

    • buenavissta says:

      Same, Darla. My 21 year marriage came to a sudden and screaming halt last year and while I miss my kids and my pets, I am so grateful to have my own space. I love coming home to an apartment as tidy as I left it. Plus no cheating husband, so win-win.

    • Jess says:

      This is exactly what I’d do if I ever get divorced. I was celibate for 4 years before I met my husband, I had some shit to work out, lol, but I learned to really enjoy being by myself and I miss it at times.

    • Tom says:

      Jane’s hair game is on point.

      I want to give her a standing ovation for this interview. Thanks for bringing it to our attention here, Celebitchy.

    • Yup, Me says:

      I’m married but in a LAT relationship (living apart together). I’ve been extolling the benefits of not living with your SO to women for years. We’re going on 14 years together and my cousin just asked me last week “So, is your husband moving in with you any time soon?” And I immediately shot back “Absolutely not!” And she roared with laughter.

      I love looking forward to seeing him each week and I love having the bed to myself when he’s away.

  2. I pet goat 2 says:

    I love how she says the doesn’t get lonely. I’m about 40 years younger than her, and I feel the same – and sometimes it’s like, is there something wrong with me? I rarely miss anybody, and even before covid I was alone like 70 percent of the week. But I guess society tells you that should be weird. Janes such an inspiration, so it was nice to hear her say that. I don’t know anybody like me so sometimes it’s just nice to hear it reflected back to you.

    • Jenns says:

      I’m the same way. I’m 40, single and childless. I’ve been single for my adult life and I really can’t imagine living any other way. I don’t get lonely. I like being alone and doing my own thing. I know people judge me and whatever, but it doesn’t bother me because I’m happy and I’m just living my life. Besides, society has so many damn rules, who can keep up.

    • Anna says:

      Same. I love living alone and not being beholden to anyone. Spent my growing up years being forced to share a room, first with sibling then at boarding school every semester a different person often with disastrous effects that took years to get over. As an adult, once I was able to afford it, now I’ve lived alone for 21 years. I always want more time alone even in pandemic when I work from home and hardly ever see people (though I hear them through the walls which sucks big time). It’s been so long since I had a lover (way before pandemic), I can’t imagine someone physically in my space, laying up in my bed, sweating into sheets I just washed, snoring (omg please no!) or otherwise just taking up space. I mean, if the sex was really, really, really good and last a long time, then maybe, but not for a quick romp in the hay, so to speak. I just can’t justify all of that preparation and clean up for a five-minute quickie and then they’re up in your space afterward. lol

    • Jaded says:

      I’ve never married or had kids but have been in 3 live-in relationships. The first 2 went sideways because the men were utter jerks so that ended my live-together yearnings. I was on my own for 20 years after that, celibate for the last 10 – I dated and had sleepovers for a while but never felt the need to have someone around 24/7. Fortunately number 3, who arrived in 2015, was the magic number. We get along so well that I do miss him when he’s not around. But we also sleep apart most nights. We start off in bed together but we’re in our late sixties and getting a decent night’s sleep is paramount for both of us so he’ll wander off to the second bedroom during the night and we both wake up refreshed.

    • Asiyah says:

      It’s funny, I suffer from extreme loneliness, but I feel more lonely when I’m around people. When I’m actually alone, I feel it less and I’m a lot happier. I think my loneliness has to do with not feeling connected to others emotionally (except my husband) so when I’m around others my loneliness intensifies because I’m reminded of how we don’t click.

      I love living with my spouse but I know that if we ever get divorced I’m probably never living with someone again. I do enjoy my space. When he goes to visit his family and I’m home alone, I enjoy it. And it makes me appreciate him a lot more.

  3. Laura-Lee MacDonald says:

    I finally got to the point (at 43) that I truly felt at ease with being single. I got my new place and set it all up for just me (and the teen children, but they’ll both be gone soon). I am getting married again in the fall – I just can’t help myself – and thankfully my fiancé came to me really similar in terms of routine. Having complimentary rhythms is so important!

    • Jaded says:

      Complementary rhythms is key. I’ve lived with men who were total clingons and had to be catered to all the time – no wonder both relationships ended. The current one works really well because neither of us is clingy or needy, we do our own thing but really enjoy each other’s company. Good luck with with your upcoming marriage!

  4. Jo73c says:

    As much as I love my BF… having people come in a few days a week to cook, clean & fix stuff and then have the rest of the week to myself is my idea of the perfect set up. The adjustable bed is just for bonus points.

  5. harla says:

    My husband works a month away from home and then a month home and has done this for the last 22+ years. Most of my friends are so jealous of me and my freedom, especially the older women as you really don’t want anyone else in your bed when you’re having hot flashes and night sweats.

    • Granger says:

      Yeah, this sounds ideal, to be honest! My husband used to travel for work–gone Monday morning until late Thursday night–and I loved it. I need time to myself, and if we could afford two places, I’d be all over that. Alas, he’s home all the time now, and much as I love the guy, I can’t get used to rarely having the house to myself for any significant length of time.

  6. Ohpioneer says:

    I’ve been widowed for 25 years ( since I was 37) and during that time I had an 8 year relationship that I am thankful every day is over. In comparison, I like being single and I like the freedom it gives me to live my life on my terms, including things like hobbies and bedtime routines. I am considering that weighted blanket though because I too seem incapable of sleeping more than 7 hours no matter what time I turn the light out.

    • Porsha says:

      I am writing this while I am under my weighted blanket it is 2:30 in the morning my partner is in the other bedroom, since having my weighted blanket, I cant go to bed without it, its that good, also need to sleep in separate room, I am 49, been together since I was 21, I need my freedom, I think relationships break up around this age because the women won’t put up with the mens crap anymore, so men will seek younger female who are not at that age yet to not put up with the crap, this might not make sense to me tomorrow as I am half asleep, but wanted to say try the weighted blanket, it gives you that comfy tucked in feeling

  7. Nina Simone says:

    Jane’s strength and frankness has always inspired me. I LOVE her

    • Esmom says:

      She is a fascinating, really cool person. She could have stagnated decades ago but I love how she never stops learning, never stops doing.

  8. Deadmotsleeping says:

    I take melatonin about a half an hour before I start my bedtime routine and use a 15lb weighted blanket and I fall asleep like a baby. I still wake up multiple times a night, but that’s a different problem.

    • Jaded says:

      Melatonin and 5-HTP are great. I have no problem falling asleep, it’s staying asleep so when I wake up around 3:00-4:00am I pop one of each and can get back to sleep without taking a sleeping pill which would leave me groggy half the day.

  9. Esmom says:

    I was home alone for about two weeks this summer (I have husband and two college kids) and it was heaven. I would basically change into pajamas right after work and also get into bed really early, to read or watch something on my computer. A couple times I even ate dinner in bed, lol. It felt like such a waste having an entire house when all I wanted to do was be in my bedroom. I feel like if I am ever totally alone, I could easily live in a one room space.

    And when my husband was traveling for work pre-Covid, I slept so much better whenever he was gone. I loved it. I actually really do not enjoy sleeping in the same bed with him.

    • Aang says:

      I love sleeping alone. My husband has his own bedroom and I have the king bed all to myself. I sleep so much better by myself. I can have two humidifiers running, the ceiling fan on, the window cracked, a weighted blanket, white noise, and a cat or two and he’s not there to complain about any of it. I’m much happier to see him in the morning when I’ve slept well the night before.

    • Jaded says:

      Mr. Jaded starts off in our king bed but between our disrupted sleep cycles (getting older sucks sleep-wise) he’ll head off to the second bedroom in the middle of the night. Works fine for us – I can fling the blankets off when I have a hot flash and he can toss and turn all he likes.

  10. CatWomen says:

    What’s a weighted blanket?

    • Porsha says:

      The best thing ever, I have a weighted doona 9 kilos, the weight is clay beads, its a bit heavy to lift but managable, once you lie down and its on your body, it is so comfortable and calming, you can still move around, it gives you a feeling of feeling secure which does help with sleep

  11. Maggi says:

    My Norwegian mother was adamant that marriage was the worst thing I could do. I remember being confused by this message, compared to the big glitzy wedding dreams of some of my school friends. Decades later, I realize how right my mom was.
    I adore single life and am glad that there was no pressure to sign up for that path. I would not have made a good wife.

  12. Moorele says:

    I love this article and all the comments! Time to yourself , and a bedtime routine is a wonderful gift to give yourself

  13. newmenow says:

    Jane Fonda is a multi-millionaire many times over.
    She has always had more choices, due to her wealth.

    Now, in her 80’s she is talking about being OK being alone. Good. May she lives as she wants to and enjoy every minute.

    Just, IMO, in her younger years she always went from man to man, marriage to marriage, for decades. I always had the feeling that she bent herself to fit whatever her current relationship/man wanted her to be. Her marriage to Ted Turner was interesting to me, I wasn’t surprised it didn’t last, I was surprised that Turner cheated during their marriage. He publicly chased her, “won” her and then enjoyed turning their marriage into a Super Couple PR stunt.
    I think it was more about his ego vs. loving Jane. Turner saw her as another prize. Ugh.

    She certainly hasn’t lived a dull life. Really enjoyed her & Lily Tomlin in their Netflix show.

    • The great thing about Jane though, is she has publicly admitted to her past and just keeps on moving forward. She admits to her younger self issues about men, etc., and that is why I have really come to admire her. She never stops growing, learning, admitting past mistakes, and shedding old behaviors— and she is willing to go on record in sharing that growth. Her giving voice to her own struggles to be better and do better is inspirational to me.

    • Anna says:

      omg that show is great! Wonder when they’re going to release that vibrator they were selling. They said it wasn’t just for the show but was an actual product to be sold. 😉

  14. Princess Caroline says:

    I am living alone for the first time in my life. Got my own apartment and left a terrible relationship literally on January 1st. I’m very happy to just have me and my cats and my routines. I wish I didn’t get lonely like Jane but I’m working on that and covid has exacerbated feeling cut off from my friends & family. I’m hoping I can be half as cool and independent as Ms Fonda as I age

  15. cappy ern says:

    the feeling is mutual, hanoi jane!