Duchess Meghan was suicidal in 2019: ‘I was really ashamed to say it’

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Last night I was left with the impression that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are both processing their trauma, and that there was lasting damage done to their mental health at the hands of the monarchy and the British media. I also got the impression that the monarchy was clearly trying to facilitate their deaths. At first, the implicit plan was to drive Meghan away by any means necessary. Perhaps the original plan was to simply make her life a living hell to the point where she would pick up and move back to America and divorce Harry. That was f–king bad enough, but then there was absolutely a shift during the last half of Meghan’s pregnancy. They were actively trying to hurt her, to damage her to the point where she would self-harm. And that’s exactly how bad it got for her:

In a raw interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan Markle revealed she had suicidal thoughts while a member of the royal family.

After months of being besieged with negative press attention, the Duchess of Sussex said that she began to have suicidal thoughts. “I just didn’t see a solution. I’d sit up at night, and I don’t understand how all of this is getting churned out,” the Duchess told Winfrey. Eventually, it became overwhelming enough that she confided in Prince Harry. “I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially because I know how much loss he’s suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was a very clear and real and frightening and constant thought.”

Gripping the severity of what the Duchess was saying, Winfrey clarified: “Were you having suicidal thoughts?”

“Yes,” Markle responded.

The Duchess also said that she asked if she could seek treatment at a professional facility, but was told it wasn’t a feasible option. Meghan recalled a particularly painful engagement at Royal Albert Hall, right after she told her husband the severity of her struggles. In photos, you can see Harry gripping her hand so tightly his knuckles are white. “Every time the lights went down in that royal box, I was just weeping,” she said.

She also said that she reached out to one of Princess Diana’s good friends for help.

Now, the Duchess clarified, she is in a better place. “My hope for people in the takeaway from this is to know that there’s another side,” she said. “To know that life is worth living.”

[From Vogue]

They were doing it on purpose. The monarchy and the press would have loved it if she had taken her own life. They would have rejoiced. That was the purpose of the smear campaign. Well, one of the purposes. Meghan understood that too, even in the depths of her depression, that if she harmed herself, that would “solve” so many problems within the family. Meghan also told Oprah that she went to someone very senior in the family to ask if she could seek treatment and she was turned down cold. Once again, they never learned a g–damn thing from the Diana years. Back then, Charles would take Diana to all of these old-man therapists who basically just tried to gaslight her. I guess the Firm didn’t even think Meghan was worth THAT. They just wanted her to go away, by any means necessary.

… And the fact that the palaces KNEW ALL OF THIS and they orchestrated the massive smear campaign over the past month… holy sh-t.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex


Photos courtesy of Backgrid, WENN, Avalon Red.

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116 Responses to “Duchess Meghan was suicidal in 2019: ‘I was really ashamed to say it’”

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  1. Sunshine says:

    Your last sentence!!!!

    • Amy Too says:

      Right. She is pregnant again. Right now. Last time the smear campaign during her pregnancy led to her almost killing herself and the baby! And they’re doing it again!? I wonder what they’ll be doing today and this week. They can’t keep doing this and look at all in the right.

      • Becks1 says:

        It’s insane how their smear campaign from last week has backfired, especially after that part of the interview. They were perpetuating a smear campaign against her while pregnant and they are STILL doing that even though they knew she almost didnt survive last time.

      • Leanne says:

        I remember when I was pregnant, I would just start bawling for no reason- your hormones are just going crazy. I can’t imagine also being under this kind of pressure!

      • Chisey says:

        Oh god I hadn’t even thought of that, that they are timing this to mess with her pregnancy and mental health and not just to somehow try and get ahead of the interview…god that’s so much worse. They never deserved her, she was always way too good for this garbage fire institution

      • AMother says:

        She is far away from England, living in luxury. Her mother is nearby and her husband. She has far more than many mothers-to-be. She will be fine. Women are tough, you know!

    • Seraphina says:

      Right!!!! Chrissy Teigan also came out and stated how awful this was to be done to a pregnant woman – especially after they had a miscarriage.

      • Elizabeth says:

        It is awful, but it would be just as awful even if she weren’t pregnant or ever had a miscarriage.

  2. Tammy says:

    What an interview! The things these two have been through is insane. I feel for them and it’s so nice to see them feeling weightless almost now. You know the smiles are real now. Very happy for them.

  3. Belli says:

    I’m just so relieved that Meghan and Archie are still here. And that Harry got them out. He was clinging to Meghan that night at the Albert Hall, we noticed it here at the time and now we know why.

    My heart broke for them.

  4. lemonylips says:

    I can relate to this story so much. I have only ever been in such a bad state of mind after moving to London. Never treated less worthy and more inhumane. People just accept that, that is how London works. I was puzzled by hearing that. Like it’s a phase and you have to go through it. But I left eventually, with my man, who I moved there for. This hits so close to home. I’m so glad they left that mess and are thriving now. Haven’t seen the interview yet but I feel I’m going to need tissues.

    • Jay says:

      Glad you are in a better place now. Just like with her essay on pregnancy loss last summer, Meghan really has a way of articulating painful thoughts in a way that hopefully starts a bigger conversation.

      The idea of being ashamed of admitting you are having suicidal thoughts because you don’t want to make a fuss or because other people have gone through worse than you…that was a gut punch,but something a lot of people should hear.

      • lemonylips says:

        Thank you Jay. And yes, I agree that it is something of importance to talk about, so I applaud Meghan for doing so.

  5. Lauren says:

    This was the bit that broke me. I’m just glad that they both managed to get out of there with their baby boy. Not only those demons were pushing her to self harm, they were also isolating her, making sure she was not seen or heard, but also trying to get her and her son killed.

    • Otaku fairy says:

      Same. This made me tear up a little. It couldn’t have been easy for her to open up about exactly how traumatic this was for her, how dangerous it got, and exactly what kind of toll it was taking on her. There are allies who view someone like her sharing this very differently from a white male in the lgbt community talking about emotional abuse and his mental health. It’s sad to see, even though she’s a stranger rather than a friend or neighbor, and a celebrity. What she said needed to be said. Maybe one day some of the double and triple standards will start to change. Hopefully she, her husband, and her babies will have a healthy, more peaceful future.

  6. Noki says:

    I remember this event,Harry must have been stressing over his wifes mental state,the comments was that he looked miserable and was ready to jump over making the mistake to marry her, the clip i saw had some boos when they panned to H & M though i am not sure if it was added. I doubt a theatre filled with the upper crust would be seen booing in public.

  7. Moxylady says:

    Oh I just want to hug her. I went through similar thoughts during my first pregnancy – not due to anything like the horrors she was subjected to of course – but while realizing the depths of abuse from my family and their complete disinterest in my baby and my life. It wasn’t I wanted to die. I simply felt like I was a massive drain on the ones that I loved and loved me. Also – ppd can occur DURING pregnancy which was my case.
    But enough about me. I just want to hug her and tell her we understand and it’s ok that she felt that way. But that she has value beyond measure and the world is better with her in it. Gosh. My heart breaks for her.

  8. Sofia says:

    I don’t want to hear the words “mental health is important” from William and Kate ever again

    • Léna says:

      Yes. The audacity they have to speak and “support” mental health organisations while doing this in private is making me so angry

    • Miranda says:

      I can’t help but think that they’re cruel and calculating enough to choose that cause BECAUSE they knew it was relevant to Meghan and Harry’s situation, just to cover their asses when the truth came out: “Well OBVIOUSLY Meghan is lying. How could we, great champions of mental health that we are, ever do anything so awful as harass and bully a clearly distressed, isolated expectant mother? We’re not MONSTERS!”

      • Lemons says:

        It was a cause they had all chosen before Meghan was on the scene, but I find it very telling that Meghan sought out help from that team and from others who should be JUST as passionate about mental health as their bosses or AT LEAST be versed in what do to when someone is in a mental health crisis.

        They didn’t do anything. They just let her spiral.

      • Lee13 says:

        I didn’t read any of the articles, but I could swear I saw headlines on Friday that W&K’s last “event” (Zoom call) prior to this interview being aired was for a mental health charity and they were somehow credited with helping to save a suicidal teen through their work on this cause? Did I make that up? Because if not, I absolutely think it was as cold and calculated and sociopathic as it seems and that was my immediate thought during this part of the interview. I had to pause the tv and say it out loud to my spouse because I was about to explode.

        ETA: found it: https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/prince-william-and-kate-reach-out-to-u-k-teen-struggling-with-suicide-1.5335786

    • Sunday says:

      Every time they stress mental health, what I hear is “mental health is important, except if you’re brown or black.”

    • Becks1 says:

      NEVER AGAIN. Their whole thing is “ask for help, dont be ashamed” etc. And KP had the nerve to release that zoom video last week with Will and Kate talking to someone who used Shout.

      • Harper says:

        YES! As if they feared that Meghan would reveal her suicidal thoughts so once again, they tried to get ahead of what she would say with another Zoom performance.

    • girl_ninja says:


      Lazy ass, jealous ass, hatin’ ass bums.

    • Chisey says:

      Ugh so so true. I don’t know if they specifically were people Meghan asked for help, but either way the fact that Meghan was treated so callously undermines the palace’s commitment to this so badly

    • Olenna says:

      Whether it was one or both Keens (or even Chuck) dictating the smear campaign or just giving it fuel, I have always thought that without Jason K nauf, it wouldn’t have been so (tragically) successful. From the lack of support with her father to the barrage of filth thrown at her by the BM during her pregnancy, I believe he was the front man, gleefully orchestrating leaks (along with Jones and Case) while protecting the Keens and doing the most to undermine Meghan’s welfare and work.

    • Liz version 700 says:

      No one in that family better ever dare!!!! They used Meghan’s mental state as a weapon. I agree they were trying to get rid of her and Archie. Charles is the head of a Kabal and they should be treated as the evil institution they are.

      • Natters5 says:

        Usually I don’t believe in Kabals but this behavior makes me think something really dark is happening behind the scenes. The day before Princess Diana died I was in London visiting my best friend. Her boyfriend was a very wealthy trader and he got spectacularly drunk and started yelling, “You think we are going to allow this? You think we are going to let her be with an Arab? We are going to take care of this!”. My friend just looked at me and rolled her eyes. The next day Princess Diana died. I am not one to believe in conspiracies but that has creeped me out ever since. I hate to think the world could be that evil.

  9. Girl_ninja says:

    I’m so happy for Meghan and Harry for getting out. It’s no exaggeration to say they escaped with their lives.

    I really hope that Piers Morgan is taken down. That miserable trash heap is one of the loudest ringleaders of this campaign. Something must be done about him.

  10. Miranda says:

    I’m on the verge of tears again just rereading Meghan’s words. I used this term in a previous post, but I’ll say it again: They were truly, unequivocally mentally torturing her. To call it anything less would be an insult to Meghan and what she endured.

  11. My3cents says:

    I really want to see someone in that f**king BRF try to talk about mental health from now on.

  12. Danielle says:

    I remember that event she went to really well, even reading the coverage on this site, and thinking she looked so glamorous and beautiful in that dress…it just goes to show what someone can be going through and you wouldn’t even know. I feel so sorry for her that she had to go through all that and I’m delighted that they got away and are living their best lives now. The Royal Family are beyond trash.

  13. Faithmobile says:

    This devastated me as I was also isolated and gaslighted during my second pregnancy by my parents (they even tried to persuade my husband that I was crazy). We had to orchestrate an escape as we were living on the same property. The parallels broke me last night. We are thriving now as it seems Megan and Harry are. I urge anyone who is being abused by their family to get help and know that you are not crazy and things get better.

  14. Eulalia says:

    I was brought to tears when she said that. I had PND and I know what It feels like to go to that dark place like that but I had so much support, and it breaks my heart to think about how alone she was and the onslaught being orchestrated by the family she married into. This woman is a saint for protecting them all as long as she did.

  15. Amy Too says:

    I was a little surprised when Harry said he didn’t try to approach his family for help for Meghan because he was ashamed she felt that way. It sounds like Meghan tried to get herself help from both the family and even going to HR, where she was told they couldn’t help her bc she wasn’t an “employee,” but Harry didn’t really try to get help on her behalf? Because he was ashamed to talk about it? Was he ashamed to confront his family and tell them THEY were making his wife suicidal? Was he ashamed that he wasn’t able to help or protect her? Ashamed that he brought her into this mess? Ashamed to admit that they were breaking her? I felt some kind of way about the way he spoke about this time. He’s mentioned his own struggles and therapy. He’s a mental health advocate. They all are, but I always believed Harry so much more that will and Kate.

    I did like when he said he was so proud of her for safely delivering Archie “during all this.”

    • Anna says:

      Um. No to all of this. The tone of questions here is quite accusatory toward Harry. Makes one wonder which side you’re on here…
      Maybe he already knew it wouldn’t do any good? This is someone who watched his own family kill his mother. Why would he go to them for mental health help? Why would you go to the abuser for help from what they are doing to you?

      • Candy says:

        Well, Harry did that whole mental health campaign “Heads Together” with Will and Kate before he met Meghan. He opened up about having to get help himself, and the campaign emphasized the importance of taking the stigma away from getting help. In light of this, I can’t understand the issue with getting Meghan help.

      • Miranda says:

        I think he was afraid to say anything at all to his family regarding her mental health, because he believed (probably correctly) that they’d leak it to the press and use it against her. He was also not in the best place emotionally himself. It seems relatively simple to us, but this was a man dealing with not only his wife’s mental health crisis, but the trauma of his own family’s hatred and rejection, and the feeling that the people who were supposed to love him didn’t care at all. He was completely overwhelmed.

      • Emm says:

        Yeah that royal reporter woman on CBS this morning, we all know, she seemed confused how M didn’t get help but Harry could. Well there was clearly a difference in treatment between M and the rest of the royals. Also, she tried to play the “How did Megan not know what she was getting into card” at the same time saying that this interview was a bombshell of things we didn’t know about. Um, if we are all just finding out all of this shit then why would she know what she was getting into before she was part of it?????? Pathetic.

      • Sunday says:

        I think he was scared to tell his family she was suicidal because he didn’t want them to use that information against her, either weaponizing it in the press or, worst case scenario, using it to stage the event itself.

      • Amy Too says:

        Anna, I don’t think it’s weird that he wouldn’t go to them for help, I thought it was suprised that the reason he gave was because he was ashamed. And then he doubled down on that when Oprah asked follow up questions. Like I assumed he was going to say “no I didn’t go to them because I knew they had turned Meghan down already/they were the problem/I didn’t think they would do anything about it because they weren’t helpful when I needed help/I didn’t trust them to not leak it/etc..” The “ashamed” part is what I was surprised to hear.

      • (TheOG) Jan90067 says:

        You can question things that Harry did/didn’t “do”, and STILL be “on their side”. We amongst ourselves aren’t enemies, but are having a discussion, let’s remember this.

        I also had a thought, after hearing Tina Brown on with Gayle: Harry DID get therapy for himself. He’s been quite open about it. When “The Institution” (love they’re not calling it “The *Firm*”) said no help for Meg, *why* did Harry not call up *his* doctor and ask if he could either come to their home, or have phone sessions with Meghan? If “The Institution” was adamant of keeping her locked in, wouldn’t this have been a way to get her some help?

      • Anna says:

        My only point here is that one would not go to one’s abuser for help especially with what Harry has been through with is own mother. Also, they tried and it didn’t work.

    • TaraBest says:

      I suffered from su*cidal thoughts in the past and was too ashamed to tell my family. I have a very good relationship with my parents but there was something about admitting I wanted to take my own life that did just feel too shameful to say out loud to people I loved. And I didn’t even have to fear repercussions of someone telling that information to the media or telling me it would damage their image. I can totally understand how Harry felt overwhelmed and helpless in that moment and didn’t feel like he could tell his family.

      Even if you’re open about struggles with mental health, there’s just something different about telling people you don’t want to live anymore. It’s heartbreaking.

      • Lee13 says:

        100% this. I am a fierce mental health advocate in my own life, but still feel shame and discomfort with openly talking about my own past self-harm behavior and suicidal issues. My best friend consistently posted messages of support for Bell Let’s Talk day (initiative to end stigma related to mental health issues here in Canada), but she still didn’t reach out to any of us and took her own life in 2018. These things are so much more complicated than some of these comments seem to comprehend. The desire to end the stigma doesn’t protect us from our own fears whether they are related to the knowledge that the stigma does still exist even if we know it shouldn’t or because we have internalized it enough to still have a “not in my backyard” sort of reaction when these things are too close to home. I actually think that hearing both Harry and Meghan acknowledge their feelings of shame around it is itself doing a great service towards combating that very shame and stigma for others.

    • Dana says:

      @Amy Too, I saw the same thing. When Harry mentioned being too ashamed to tell his family, my eyes pivoted to Meghan’s face. And oh, her expression! The way she looked down at her hands for a while. That really broke my heart. Harry has many wonderful qualities, but watching Meghan’s reaction to his comment was painful.

      • I think Harry was just overwhelmed and maybe just wanted the problem to go away. Haven’t we all been there — extreme stress — and just one more issue tips the scale to wanting to not deal with any of it? It’s terrifying when someone you love is that depressed. I can only imagine how much more awful it was with Meghan heavily pregnant too. I mean his family and the Institution had already shown they weren’t interested in helping or supporting them. The important thing is, he came through for her and stood with her. Meghan’s statement that she went to a VERY senior royal, leaves William, Kate, Camilla, and even (retired) Phillip out. I think she either addressed this with the Queen or Charles. I could see her going to the Queen as —- according to Meghan — the Queen had been warm and caring to her. I can also see her as having gone to Charles as he had lived through Diana’s depression. The sad thing is whichever one of these two she went to SHUT HER DOWN and I can see that being either one of them. There was a story leaked while Meghan was pregnant once they were at Frogmore that Meghan was crying and depressed and that Harry was frustrated and just couldn’t deal with it and he —- according to the story — told her if she was so depressed she needed to stop paying attention to all the media and just get some help. The story’s slant was that Meghan was being a drama Queen, thus belittling her. Meghan of course has since revealed that — unlike Harry — she did not read the stories, where Harry read everything and even drilled down into the comments. I remember that story but it didn’t get a lot of play. So, someone was trying to leak something back then about her state of mind. I also remember a story when they came back in Jan 2020 and there was a pic of her in a brown outfit showing she was sweating. The royal Rota made hay with that, but there was one story that mentioned that she was possibly on anxiety medicine as it was said she was having panic attacks about being back in England and that a side effect of anxiety meds is sweating. I remember commenting on it here when KAISER did a story on their last engagement before Meghan went back to Canada. So, there were stories out there that she was struggling, but they weren’t picked up or given the play that the higher number of vicious smears about her were receiving. And maybe not picked up or given much weight by even many of us as she comes across as so strong and pulled together. It’s as she said last night, ……you just don’t know what is going on with someone even when they appear ok.

      • Amy Too says:

        That’s exactly what I saw. She looked a bit stunned that he said he was ashamed of her feelings. Like embarrassed that she had let him down or contributed to his struggles in some way. I absolutely understand her being ashamed of her suicidal ideation while pregnant and after being such a strong go-getter for so long, and I understand anyone else being ashamed of their own struggles. I have been there. That is the culture. And self shaming and self loathing is a symptom of depression. But for some reason, we tend to be so much more generous and caring and understanding with those we love than we are with ourselves.

        I also understand that people can be proactive in trying to lessen the stigma of mental health crises and still feel shame themselves and not be able to reach out when it’s themselves. Because again, shame is a symptom. I think a lot of the trying to get rid of the stigma is so that other people will never feel the shame that we felt because when it’s other people it’s a lot easier to say “this isn’t your fault, it’s okay to talk about it and get help” than it is with yourself. So I understand her being ashamed of her struggles. I understand him being ashamed of his struggles. I found it surprising though that he was ashamed of HER struggles.

        But maybe he wasn’t articulating 100% what was in his mind. Like maybe he was ashamed that HE hadn’t protected or prepared her enough, or he was ashamed that his family was doing this to her, his country folk, his coworkers. That makes sense to me. Him somehow feeling like her mental health struggles were his fault and him feeling personal shame because of that. But it sort of came off like he was ashamed of her for feeling as she did. And I’m wondering if that was just bad word choice or what.

      • Le4Frimaire says:

        Maybe I’m being generous about Harry here but felt he meant ashamed in that he didn’t help her more or prevent her from going through that. It’s something very painful. Also, they may have had fights about what was going on and he was ashamed of how he reacted. I feel like he doesn’t quite articulate his feelings as well as she does. I just didn’t interpret it as him being a bad partner but maybe letting her down.

  16. Hillbo Baggins says:

    People gave her a lot of crap about always holding abs cradling her bump. Now I think she was subconsciously trying to protect and shield little Archie in the womb. It was a defense/care response. My heart goes out to her as someone who also had suicidal thoughts but for me it was due to PPD.

  17. Amy Too says:

    Also, thank god for her baby shower around this time. Being able to get out of the country, be surrounded by girl friends and support probably helped to save her life during this time. And the whole time the press was excoriating her for it. Making up prices, exaggerating the luxury, calling her a horrible American celebrity diva. She needed that time with her friends at that time. I’m surprised they let her go.

    • Candy says:

      Thank God for her New York baby shower that she traveled to . . . um . . . without a passport because they took it from her? Something not adding up here.

      She traveled to the U.S. Open also. How she got away without a passport, I’ll never know.

      • Lemons says:

        Girl, they taketh away and they giveth. When she can officially organize a baby shower with friends, she can do so. When she ask if she can go to the US Open, they let her. But they have her passport and the keys to the car, so if they really want to, they’ll keep her under lock and key.

        I don’t think it ever got that bad for her where she was kept prisoner in her home, but you realize that you’re not as free as you thought, even with the privileges.

      • Amy Too says:

        I think it was mentioned somewhere that the royals don’t even HAVE passports. They have special dispensation to travel, even during covid. Maybe they have some special diplomatic or royal equivalent of a passport, but I remember reading either here or elsewhere that they don’t actually have passports like you and me. So maybe she didn’t need it to travel once she was a royal. Or, yeah they doled it out to her when they said she could travel. It seemed like so much was about control: you have to ask if you can go somewhere and when. They have to clear it. They arrange the security and transportation.

      • whateveryousay says:

        They obviously gave it back to her. And remember now one even knew she was there until it got leaked to the press again and then it came out that she was pissing away the Crown’s money and how gauche to have a baby shower. They totally set her up.

    • Sid says:

      Amy Too, so much makes sense now in hindsight after the interview.

  18. lanne says:

    Fuck the royal family. If they don’t apologize after THIS? They have made themselves radioactive. They need to take the L, learn from their mistakes. Just take the fucking L. There’s no gaslighting this. The receipts are there. They all need to go into hiding and stay there.

  19. AmyB says:

    Forgive my ignorance here, because I am not a person who knows a lot about the Royal Family. I do know some of what Diana went through, to some extent, and I have watched in horror what has happened with Megan and Prince Harry, but not really understanding all the issues, or all that was happening, etc. But I DO KNOW of the accusations against Prince Andrew for crying out loud – and his friendship with known sex offender and pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein. I know the girl (woman now), Virginia Roberts, has claimed he had sex with her as a young girl several times, yet he denies this, despite a photo depicting them together (as part of a sex ring coordinated with Epstein’s accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell). And I watched his disastrous interview last year, attempting to defend himself, and failing miserably. My question is, why does the Royal Family cover up such a hideous nightmare of allegations, yet with Harry and Megan, they seemingly smeared the hell out of them – to the point of refusing Megan help for severe depression with thoughts of suicide??? Because she was bi-racial, and they were concerned about the color of baby Archie’s SKIN? Like, am I missing something HERE????

    • Tanya says:

      Because the Queen plays favorites. And Andrew is her favorite.

      And because Harry wouldn’t be the first white man to get shit from his family for bringing a Black girl home.

      • AmyB says:

        @Tanya – YIKES! I had no idea about Andrew being the favorite. Okay, makes sense. So gross, on every level

    • Sushi says:

      I think The Queen looks after her child whereby Prince Charles does not.

    • Elizabeth says:

      He raped her as a sex trafficked teenager. He didn’t have sex with her. It’s rape. Raping a sex trafficked person is rape and raping an underage person is rape. We can say the word.

    • Lyra says:

      They are a toxic and evil family. That’s it. And Andrew is the favourite of the queen.

  20. Angel says:

    This hits home so hard because I have been through this. I am just so happy she and Harry are in a better place. Harry is really a good person with a great heart. He is truly his mother’s son.

  21. S808 says:

    People thought I was being dramatic when I said they wanted her to miscarry with Archie. That’s exactly why the smart campaign got worse the further along she got. They would’ve loved a miscarriage/suicide. It’d get rid of Meghan and Archie AND it’d contribute to the poor Harry narrative that’d keep him under William and Kate forever.

    • Amy Bee says:

      It’s clear that they didn’t want Meghan to have Archie and did all they could to make her miscarry and it’s happening again. Thankfully she’s away from them now.

    • Amy Too says:

      I said this yesterday in the big thread but it’s almost like she felt her choices were: 1) let the public kill or harm your baby somehow bc he will not have security or protection or 2) kill yourself while pregnant and at least do it on your own terms in a way that you can control.

      She was obviously in the worst mental space possible and they drove her to it purposely and refused to help her bc they didn’t care. That is some strong level depression and anxiety if you believe that taking your own life when pregnant is the safest solution. I feel SO BAD for her. So glad she’s out. Harry saved her life. She saved her own life by being honest with him.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        Everything about this story is so horrifying and the role of the BRF is downright diabolical.

    • Yes you did. And I always said they wouldn’t be happy until they were walking behind a casket, again.

  22. sara says:

    that’s exactly it. this last two weeks – that the palace would pretend to be upset about allegations of bullying that they know would create horrific headlines and vitriol – knowing she was suicidal during her last pregnancy. also knowing it would generate more hate and they don’t provide security (although they clearly pay for it themselves now) is evil.

  23. Myra says:

    I legit cried for Meghan at this point. I understood her when she said she was ashamed. She had a blog which promoted living well, meditation and yoga. She walked into that family a strong and confident woman. Within a year, they had stripped her of her humanity and inflicted unrelentless bullying and harassment masqueraded as scrutiny upon her. To have family members add to those stressors instead of providing support, must be incredibly isolating, and honestly probably hurts more. Shame on that family.

  24. Amy Bee says:

    This was really shocking and sad to hear and it’s proof that we have to get rid of this trope of the strong black woman. It is very harmful. I’m grateful that she has been able to come out on the other side and that she had Harry to support her. William and Kate have no right to be advocating for mental health at all. Their smear campaign against Meghan was meant to not only make her leave but to destroy her and leaking those bullying allegations is proof they have not stopped.

    • Amy Too says:

      This makes Charles’ nickname of tungsten for her even worse. He’s promoting the “suck it up and deal with it, you’re strong, you can do it” mentality instead of helping her and letting her be vulnerable.

    • Anna says:

      Yes, and being “strong” because you are trying to survive the unsurvivable is not some marker of innate or essential strength. It means we’ve found a way to survive.

      And on top of that, we need to rethink expectations of Black women rooted from centuries of exploitation. “Weathering” is a reality in combination with Black material mortality rates. Weathering meaning that due to the effect of racism and misogyny, Black women are internally 7.5 years older than white women. This “Black don’t crack” melanin phrase only goes skin deep…

      Also, read bell hooks introduction to Ain’t I a Woman for more on this “strong Black woman” trope.

  25. SM says:

    that is unfortunately the only way that family knows how to behave, to just break any will, humanity and sensibility and that is the only way they operate, all of them are probably traumatised through the generations. In general for those who are in the pubic life, those who occupy the positions of authority should display certain qualities and virtues, in a nutshell – you do not want a sovereign who does not understand what it means to be human, this is the key underlying themes in all of dystopias. As soon as the highest power is shifted towards inhuman/artificial/bureaucratic rule, the humanity is doomed. Why am I saying this? Because the conversation what virtues and qualities the royals posses is way, waaaayyyy overdue. there is not only hypocrisy, the ignorance, but outright cruelty at the core of this toxic family. They are terrible for morale and they managed to ruin the authority of the head of state all by themselves. I can’t even imagine the cruelty that would allow them to attack a woman, who is pregnant. I mean, when she talked about being on the verge of suicide when actually she should have been in the best period of her life – being in love and expecting her first new born, to me at least it was magical, my heart breaks for her, that she was literally robed of that. I do understand, it is too much to ask for some payback, but what infuriates me the most here, is that none of these creatures will ever even understand what they have done. the ignorant are blessed by life with no regret and no remorse. Good for Harry and Meg for just pulling the plug, I suspect that the family hoped that if they are told whey will lose everything, they would oblige to being the punching bag for the monarchy. they can now rebuild their own happiness. Harry gave too much credit to his asshole father and brother by saying that “they can’t get away from it and that he sympathises with that”.
    Now that I saw this, I think that the Crown is doing a free PR for the real Royal family, it seems that in reality they are much worse, not even a fictional series has so much blind courage to portray the royal family in such a light that shed on them in this interview.

  26. Merricat says:

    There’s nothing noble about it BRF. Straight up racist. Harry is a miracle, the rest deserve the contempt felt by the rest of the world .

    • (TheOG) Jan90067 says:

      Harry got therapy. He got the help he realized he needed. The rest don’t think *they* have* any problems. They are “anointed”.

  27. Aphra says:

    Our poor Meg! Hope she knew then and knows now that so many of us love and support her.

  28. Petra says:

    To those that are sad, depressed or having suicidal thoughts , please as for help.

  29. Harper says:

    I feel speechless this morning for Meghan and Harry. Like others, her story took me to a similar dark time in my life when, on a much smaller level, I felt the world was against me just for breathing and all you do is try and find solutions and you don’t know what to do. I was moved to tears by Meghan and my heart is broken today for her and Harry and the pain they endured. I think her story will have touched a similar nerve with so many that hear it and at the least, it reminds people that you are not alone in what you have gone through or are going through.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Yes, I remember when I was suicidal at an awful job and after an awful breakup. I remember how the unthinkable became so real when I felt there was no way out. I tried to speak to so many people and no one would listen. I didn’t qualify for social services even though my ex had taken my money. I didn’t think of a hotline, I don’t think there was one where I lived at the time. I believe many women and many women of color especially will recognize her experiences on a personal level because these are racist, sexist, misogynoir techniques used broadly. I am so shocked she couldn’t even get mental health care.

      • Lizzie says:

        I am so sorry that happened Elizabeth. Sometimes it seems the world is against you and sometimes it really is. I’m so glad you survived.

      • Harper says:

        At one point when I was in my dark place, I went to a counselor for help. After sobbing my eyes out for ten minutes, she said she couldn’t relate to my problem because it hadn’t happened to her. This was more than 20 years ago and before there were so many online resources widely available. To say the least, I never went back to that so-called professional, but what was worse was that it further reinforced my isolation. I felt I had no choice but to gut it out on my own as her reaction to my vulnerability and honest gut-spilling just further damaged my feelings of self-worth. I would not have put it past the Palace to provide Meghan with a therapist that they had briefed against her, further compounding her pain and twisting her mental health to where she might not have been able to come through it.

    • ArtHistorian says:

      This part of her story brought me to a dark place too – it just awakened so many feelings and memories. I can’t stop crying when I think about her being suicidal and fearing to be left alone. I was suicidal some years ago, had planned to drown myself but felt that I couldn’t hurt my family that way but I was just so ashamed. I was broke and unemployed and crippled by a severe depression – but I told my father, he drove me to the hospital and held my hand as I walked through the doors. I got support, proper treatment and protection – I was as said, broke and unemployed, and I was still treated better than a royal duchess from the BRF.

      • Harper says:

        Thank goodness you found the support from your father and the professionals around you to get to a better place. I expected bombshells from Meghan and Harry last night, but in a way that I found entertaining based on a lot of “gotchas” that we were anticipating and predicted. But when Meghan said Harry cradled her while she cried I recognized that feeling, as in my low moments my husband had tried to hold me and console me in the same way and couldn’t. I can just imagine Harry’s helplessness knowing that this steamroller against Meghan could not be slowed and his family’s only response was to suck it up.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        I can’t forget Harry’s comments from the SA documentary about him having flashbacks to his mother every time he heard the shutter of a camera. Meghan’s ordeal definitely also traumatized him or rather re-traumatized him – first his mother, then his wife. He must have been so terrified and felt so helpless. They were quietly signaling to the public for help in that documentary (after having been denied it in private) – they were ruthlessly mocked for it in the media.

  30. Susan says:

    Something really struck me in the interview and the review of this part of the discussion: Harry has really changed. And boy, can he put on a brave face. I used to think he was a hot headed, unable to fake it fireball. (Remember the pics of him being pouty and moody and not having a “game face”?). Boy was I wrong. Or else the last few years have changed him.

    Please don’t take this as me taking anything away from Meghan, I always expected her to handle everything with grace and maturity…I always thought she was the strong one, the adult in the relationship, often “taking care of him.” Amazing to see they take care of each other. That’s a true partnership. LOVE.

  31. Case says:

    This was shocking and really makes you wonder what she endured from the people on the inside. She said she doesn’t read any/much press, so it wasn’t just headlines.

  32. Nic919 says:

    To attack Meghan as a bully when they knew she was looking for help for suicidal thoughts is a new level of cruelty in that cursed family. Will the same HR team who refused her help be investigating the “bullying”?

    • Merricat says:


    • Becks1 says:

      I was thinking that exact thing. They’re putting out this bullying story during the same time frame that Meghan says she was suicidal and denied help. Are they effing insane??

      Also, though, it makes me wonder what they thought Meghan was going to say. I think they definitely thought she was going to be more specific about “the institution” and name some names.

  33. Lowrider says:

    When Harry and Meghan stepped back from the firm, I was relieved for them! A legit sense of relief that they made it out with a happy healthy baby.

    I can only imagine how highly charged that environment was in real time.

  34. Lizzie says:

    I can think of pic’s from the farewell tour where Harry is really gripping her hand, now I know the wonderful support he was giving her.

  35. Red Dog says:

    What really got to me was the “methodical” part. She wasn’t just thinking she didn’t want to be alive. She was laying there at night planning how to do it.

  36. Savu says:

    All I’ll say is that those of us who have had emotionally abusive families had lightbulbs going off all night, and little “yep, that’s how they do it”s under our breaths. The hallmarks are always the same.

    I got out and I’m so grateful they did too. It’s corny to say, but every day I know I’m stronger for it. They are too!

  37. Louise says:

    Her admission about being suicidal made me tear up and cry for a few minutes. I was watching the interview with my mom and I sobbed out “I know what that feels like!” My mom held my hand as we both watched her face Oprah and admit so bravely just how bad it got for her. (FYI my mom knew about my suicidal ideation so this wasn’t news to her). It made my heart break to know Meghan had been in that dark place as well and how scary it must have been to admit that to Harry. I remember being terrified to admit it to my mom. And how scared they were the two of them in an institution that refused to let Meghan get help.

    So if I understand correctly, Meghan and Harry never told the extended family that she was suicidal while pregnant (Harry admitted he was ashamed to tell them). They probably just thought she was super depressed I guess? I wonder if this revelation is news to them. My guess it is because if Harry had told someone, someone from the Palace would have leaked it and it would have made its way to the headlines of the British tabloid press. But I do find it VERY suspicious that Kate and William release a Zoom speaking to a family of a young suicidal boy who texted Shout and was able to be saved because he was brave enough to text them (I’m glad the boy is okay of course). But the timing of the release of that Zoom call is very suspicious.

    • Janey says:

      Not true. I mean, she told staff and HR and knowing how info leaks around there I am sure they knew but they weren’t directly told she was afraid of killing herself. The best they could claim is willful ignorance?

      • Amelie says:

        Well she never specifically said “I told them I had thoughts of harming myself and killing myself” she just said that she asked them where she could get help and she was refused. But regardless if they knew that specifically or not, they ignored a desperate woman’s cries for help. Just like they did with Diana.

      • She specifically stated she reached out to a VERY senior member of the royal family and they told her to suck it up. She then said the next morning she spoke to someone in the Institution (HR) and was told they couldn’t help because she wasn’t a paid employee, she then reached out to a close friend of Diana’s (some are guessing Elton John) who was immensely helpful. I think the family was very aware of what was going on. Harry’s statement that he was ashamed to have that conversation with his family initially does not mean he didn’t have the conversation with them eventually.

  38. TheOriginalMia says:

    Must admit her revelation was extremely hard to hear. I even asked my mom if I heard right and she was gobsmacked with me. They tormented and abused her to the point of suicide. I’m so glad she said something and that she was able to turn to one of Diana’s friends for the help she needed. I just want to hug her. I really want to fly to England and kick some asses. They wanted her gone and if she miscarried Archie that would be the icing on the cake. Horrible, reprehensible behavior towards Meghan.

  39. Alexandria says:

    I don’t even know what to comment because this hurts. I wish them lots of love and happiness.

    • MarcelMarcel says:

      Me too. This quote is stuck in my mind-
      “My hope for people in the takeaway from this is to know that there’s another side. To know that life is worth living.”
      I’m so grateful that Meghan made it out alive. She has so much compassion & hope to share with the world.
      I hope that Meghan, Harry, Archie and the little baby experience all the love & joy in this world.

  40. Lunasf17 says:

    This is so sad! I was pregnant at the same time as Meghan during her first pregnancy and I also had some depression and had some suicidal thoughts during pregnancy and post partum, mainly I realized that I needed more support on all fronts and had no idea what I was doing and overwhelmed but came from a culture that never asked for help. Also I lost my Medicaid 3 months post partum and since I’m self employed I had no health insurance and right around that time I realized I needed help but had no resources to access it or childcare to help watch the baby when my husband was working. Even though Meghan has resources even she couldn’t get the help she needed. I relate to her story so much and am so glad we both came out on the other side, many new mothers didn’t. I liked Harry and Meghan before but now I’m a huge fan. So glad they are away from the UK and are living their best life.

  41. Marianne Hord says:

    Im sure the Royal Family could have arranged for her to quietly and privately receive treatment if they were worried about it getting out and hurting their brand or whatever. It’s sad that no one bothered to try.

  42. Chelsea says:

    As she was talking during this part of the interview i thought this was where this might be headed but i was really hoping i was wrong. I will admit this part of the interview had on me on the verge of tears because unfortunately ive had similar thoughts in the past and i could see so much of what i was feeling as she struggled to talk about it and admitted her shame over it. The fact that palace aides refused her treatment because of “optics” is horriric and there needs to be a reckoning over it.

    It is very interesting and depressing that they went to palace staff to aak for help but felt too ashamed to tell members of the family that she was suicidal. Tbh at this point it doesn’t seem like they had a relationship with William and Kate to even have an opportunity to tell them what was going but the fact that all of their other pleas for help went on deaf ears is also telling.

    I’m very curious if the palace will try to deny this because Meghan stated explicitly she has emails which could come out to corroborate this and im sure that at least a few people in her inner circle who have been very public and vocal in their support this week can corroborate as well. In fact Matt Haig, a British writer whose writing about depression and suicidal thoughts have beem repeatedly praised publicly by Meghan, just said on IG for a fact that he knows she was suicidal. Obviously there should be no debate around whethrr this is true or not but we know the Firm is cruel and is completely capable of trying to accuse her of lying but it will backfire on them badly if they do so they should keep their mouths quiet.

  43. Liz version 700 says:

    Meghan’s situation broke me. To ask for help and be told nope. I remember Diana talking about throwing herself down the steps when pregnant with Harry and now you see the desperation this family drives people too. They won’t help you even if you are ready to break. And of all people the only kind ones were Eugenie and Fergie. After this interview I threw my souvenir castle mug from my honeymoon in London in the trash. Can’t even work up the energy to donate it to Goodwill. This family belongs in the trash. They have lost a lot of support and interest in the US. I would Love to see Will come here for a tour. He would be booed at every pointless stop. They absolutely were trying to get rid of her and Archie and I hope those kids never set foot in the U.K. until they are old enough to defend themselves.

  44. Jess says:

    I can’t believe they told a pregnant women having suicidal thoughts that she couldn’t get the help she was desperately seeking. When I really sit with it for a minute it makes my blood boil. If she was asking to be put in an institution they knew how serious it was and can’t ever deny that. Thank god Meghan got away from there, and thank god Harry was supportive.

  45. K says:

    My heart is so sad for all of this they went through. But now they are coming out of it and can continue to heal. I find it so chilling though. And I will never believe complete that Diana’s death was 100 per cent accidental. At the very least the Firm felt relief at that. If not more….

    • Nyro says:

      Same. At the very least they were pleased and relieved. At worst, they had something to do with it. And with more and more information, it looks like the latter is actually probable. I truly believe they wanted to bring harm to all three of them, especially Meghan and Archie.

  46. Deanne says:

    Ignoring someone’s pleas for help when they are suicidal is unconscionable. She was pregnant and desperately reaching out and they basically told her to suck it up. The level of callousness that they displayed toward a vulnerable woman is infuriating. The Royal Family needs to be abolished.

  47. Latrice says:

    I went to bed so sad last night. To think that this beautiful soul had suicidal ideation while pregnant and being newly married tells me that the institution of the BRF and media are complete and utter trash. I hope that all those mofos who profited from her pain get exactly what they deserve#deathtothemonarchy

  48. Nyro says:

    I teared up over this last night. I can’t even imagine.