I began reading Vanity Fair’s exclusive on Armie Hammer and his family yesterday but I stopped reading it right around the part where his great-great-grandfather gave a Russian diplomat’s wife an abortion in 1919. I was like “wow, this is going to be a really crazy story huh.” And it is. Half of the piece is about the Hammer family’s completely insane background in America, and how there’s a long line of Hammer men (many of them named Armand) who are into sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, if rock n’ roll means “abusing and humiliating women.” The second half of the VF story is about Armie and what happened to him and what went “wrong” and whether he’s actually engaged in criminal behavior or if he simply likes to talk about his cannibal fantasies (to be fair, it’s not illegal to fantasize). You can read the whole sordid story here. Some highlights, specifically about Armie:
He’s always expressed an interest in knots & bondage: His reported social-media-liking habits suggested that he was fond of bondage. And he has spoken profusely about his love of knots to Playboy (“a man’s version of knitting”), Stephen Colbert (whom he challenged to a knot-tying contest on The Late Show), and InStyle (“I’ve never admitted this before…sometimes I carry a rope to practice knots”). A source close to Elizabeth said that, when he was not working, Armie would throw himself into hobbies with great intensity. Several years back Armie introduced Elizabeth to shibari, a Japanese bondage art form in which people are tied up in intricate patterns. Elizabeth tried to be supportive of the new interest, which Armie allegedly indulged by buying mannequins and inventing elaborate knots. Elizabeth even tried to find a lucrative spin on the obsession: “She suggested he write a book about a hobby called Why Knot?” laughed the friend.
Armie always cheated on Elizabeth: Armie and Elizabeth had two children—a daughter in 2014 and a son in 2017, the latter of whom was given the middle name Armand as an homage to the Hammer lineage. According to a friend close to Elizabeth, Armie confessed to being unfaithful shortly after his son’s birth—but claimed it was a one-time offense. Years later, this friend says, Elizabeth found evidence of an affair Armie was having with a costar. The Hammers had been in expensive family therapy, but, to Elizabeth, the indiscretions—and more notably his decision to flee the family during a pandemic—were the final straw. When Armie touched down in the U.S., he mistakenly sent a raunchy text message meant for someone else to his estranged spouse. Elizabeth filed for divorce shortly after.
He followed the same patterns with his recent relationships: Two women who knew Armie romantically in the last year say they were intoxicated by his charm—and that he was able to cycle through Romeo and Juliet-style romantic proclamations, teary family confessionals, and kinky bedroom scenarios with disorienting ease.
His ex Courtney Vucekovich speaks: According to Courtney Vucekovich, Armie was on a flight out of the Cayman Islands—escaping the “intense” lockdown situation last June—when he messaged her on Instagram for the first time. The DMs came fast and furiously; the actor immediately spilled about the tense situation with what he described as his “crazy family”—describing near-fist fights with his father and a short-lived escape plan that involved taking a fishing boat to Cuba. Armie earned her sympathy, according to Vucekovich, through full-court press. “Day one, he makes you feel bad for him; it’s when he makes himself look like a victim. Then he love-bombs you like crazy; you’ve never felt more special in your entire life. I’ve never seen anything like it. We’re in a restaurant, and I’m sitting across from him, and he pulls my chair over, right next to him, in front of everybody—and is hugging and kissing you. You’re the only girl in the whole world. And then he starts the manipulation and the darker stuff.
Armie is broke: During their time together, Paige Lorenze said, Armie didn’t have any money. She said that she paid for “everything,” since Armie was only getting by on loans from friends. Lorenze broke things off with Armie after “he started making rules for me of things I could and couldn’t do, who I could have over, who I couldn’t. He told me that I couldn’t have anyone else in my bed. And then I just started to feel really unsafe and really sick to my stomach about things,” she said. “I was also emotionally dependent on him.” Lorenze ended the relationship over text “because you never know what you’re going to get with him—he’s kind of a scary person.”
Armie hasn’t been charged with any crime, nor is there evidence that he’s actually a cannibal: One person who has known both Armie and Elizabeth for a decade thinks Armie’s “very dry sense of humor” and a lack of context around the text messages are to blame. When the rib-eating, toe-cutting screenshots first appeared online, the person said, “I was like, this is just Armie making really perverse jokes. And then it got conflated with his [seemingly] newfound interest in BDSM sex, which is his prerogative.” Sexual abuse allegations are especially charged in a post-#MeToo climate: “There are a lot nuances to the subject of sex and consent, and it’s just not a topic that people are really patient about these days,” the person said. “He’s a really down-to-earth guy. I think he’s just having a moment.”
People are worried about Elizabeth Chambers: A person once close to the family has expressed genuine concern for Elizabeth as she moves forward in her custody battle with the Hammers. “I want to tell her to be careful,” the person said. “I hope she can just get off that island soon.” Elizabeth has told friends that while she is fearful herself, she is projecting strength for the kids and trying to find occasional humor in the darkness.
I felt a chill when, at the end of the article, they start talking about how Elizabeth’s friends want her to be very careful. I don’t think he would harm his ex, but who knows. He does come from a long line of men who treat women like sh-t though. While, again, I do think it’s useful for people to remember that Armie hasn’t been charged with any crime, nor is there any evidence that he acted on his cannibalism fantasies, the stories from his exes are BAD. If those women wanted to press charges, they could and should. What he was doing was more than “trying something new and it didn’t work out.” He was getting off on manipulating them and abusing them.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Backgrid and Avalon Red.
I love that Casey is quote extensively in the article. I went to high school with Casey, and an aside, she was an amazing softball player!
it’s important that courtney was so specific about how he groomed her into that relationship. other women need to be privy to the warning signs so they don’t get involved with men like this. easier said than done. but the recovery from this manipulation and mental abuse takes years. it’s truly ptsd. one doubts their self. his controlling ways described are so text book it’s disgusting.
10000%
so very true. it’s the exact playbook that abusers use.
It was an interesting article but I was so lost with all the different men and names I almost started drawing a family tree just to keep up who was doing what
Me too..I was reading and was like wait who is that again…I had to keep going back and rereading. The article wasn’t really much about Armie but more his weird family
Every time I see a photo of him now, it just hits different. There is something either chilling or empty in those eyes.
SAME!! And I used to find him so attractive.
RIGHT?! I used to think he was pretty handsome, in a trust-fund bro kind of way, but never really found him attractive, if that makes sense.
but NOW? all I see is serial-killer eyes. YIKES.
Well now I’m wondering who the co-star is that he had an affair with. And more importantly I’m wondering if that co-star is OK. 😬
The “broke” thing somehow doesn’t surprise me (although to be clear rich person broke is always quite different). He would have made good salaries for his failed blockbusters, but not nearly so much that he couldn’t be living beyond his means. The independent films do not pay millions (or even hundreds of thousands). Although a lot of that may have just been more manipulation of women. He really is a repulsive character.
Rumor one was Lily James and I hope she is in therapy now for her bad man choices.
Oh Lily. Yes I forgot about that movie (as did the rest of the world). That would not shock me. Her picker is clearly malfunctioning.
People outside of Hollywood don’t get sometimes that even if a movie stars salary seems high SO MUCH of that money, (and sometimes most of it) is going to agents, managers, assistants, security (and as Meghan and Harry have pointed out security when you are famous is not an insignificant expense-imagine Lady Gaga’s security bills!? ) Also, LA is EXPENSIVE, real estate here is insane. So even though they might be a mid tier tv or movie star they aren’t making the bank people think they are.
I didn’t read the whole article, just these tidbits. But I have so many questions:
1. How can he be “broke”? wouldn’t the interest off his family trust money give him a lifestyle beyond what we can imagine? And what about his movie salaries?
2. If he is “broke” then how is Elizabeth paying her (and the kids) bills?
3. Did this Courtney woman know who he was and that he was married? Can you really be an “ex” to a married man? (No snark, genuine question)
I could go on…the knots, the lack of discretion, the lack of worry of being caught..I just can’t process it all.
He probably isn’t broke at all, just another way he manipulated her into pitying him. It was probably funny for him to see how much he could get her to spend on him while he’s loaded and she has WAY less money.
In the book The Sociopath Next Door, the author asserts that one thing most sociopaths have in common, their top manipulation tactic, and one of the best ways to recognize them, is the pity play. Like if you see someone who is constantly trying to be pitied by others while they themselves are constantly hurting others, be alert that this person may be a sociopath.
To #2 I think his wife comes from a significantly wealthy family.
And to #3 I mean, would i get involved with someone yet to be fully divorced, no because I have lived a little. But would all 19 year olds realize it’s not good to date a separated but still married man, doubt it. They are still his ex and hopefully don’t feel shame about messing up by getting into that relationship.
The entirety of the Hammer family fortune went to his dad, who gave it to Armie’s mom’s family’s self-run crazy right-wing evangelical ministry where it has apparently disappeared.
There is no family trust, it now all belongs to this scammy ministry now. (There’s been lawsuits over it.)
Remember, Armie’s “big” movies have largely bombed. If he negotiated back-end based deals he’d have way less money than we’d think. The rest have been indy movies, like “Call Me”, in which you don’t make a lot. And has to pay tons of lawyers, agents, stylists, has multiple homes, uses a jet, etc. The Hammer’s also own a island, which is a money-pit of expenses.
Elizabeth is well off and has her own money. Plus, she’s currently living on the family island and in good graces with Armie’s parents, who again have these “ministry” funds.
What?!? There’s no family trust????!!!! What idiots. Though are you saying Armie’s parents *can* spend the funds, just *through* the ministry? Whereas Armie (and any siblings) cannot get to those funds anymore?
The Vanity Fair story was extremely interesting and it’s the first time I got the scope of his family history. I think this article somewhat protects Elizabeth and the kids. Hopefully, she gets out of there soon.
This has a very ‘girl with the dragon tattoo vibe.’
I’ve always wondered which real family Larssen based that on.
He sounds like a non-violent psychopath, who has come from a long line of non-violent psychopaths. I was in a relationship with a man just like him for three years. Even with all of this horrible publicity, he will still be able to use his charm, his sob stories, and his ability to mirror personalities to keep on reeling in other women to take advantage of. Too bad we can’t just send him and his brethren to the moon…
I thought I read there are laws in some states in the US against emotional abuse, which is mentally violent. That is, still damaging and scarring.
But we as a society still haven’t really reckoned with how much damage emotional abuse and manipulation can do, and In the Dream House touched on this very well.
To be honest, when my ex became violent that was when I finally got out because I have always found it scary how some emotional abuse is normalized in relationships in Christianity – I.e. women owe men sex in marriage, purity culture where you are responsible for triggering other people’s thoughts, etc.
How are murderers and rapists non-violent psychopath? :-/
His grandad shot and killed someone though? And his dad and grandfather molested his aunt? Those aren’t non violent.
“He’s a really down-to-earth guy.” Okay, no. Just based on everything we know to be true, he sounds intense, extreme, and very aggressive.
Jeebus, I didn’t know that his father and grandfather actually raped and killed. I read the excerpts of the article posted here and came away with the impression that they were systematically terrible to women. Rescind the “non-violent” qualifier in reference to his raping, murdering predecessors. The fact that they did those things lends further credence to the idea that he is a legitimate psychopath though. That sh*t is hereditary.
I’m more surprised at the fact this family is Russian than anything else. For all the WASPy vibes he always tried to give I’m just laughing so hard at him descending from actual Communists turned greedy capitalists (as it always turns out to be!)
“He’s a really down-to-earth guy. I think he’s just having a moment.” JFC. I’m so tired of people waving away abuse as if it’s ok if the abuser is going through a rough time. IT’S NEVER OK.
“There are a lot nuances to the subject of sex and consent” — obviously I understand people have fantasies, etc., but how is there nuance to actual CONSENT? It’s a yes/no question.
I’m disgusted by a lot of the language used in his friends’/defenders’ quotes. It’s very rapey.
Even with consent, in the S&M context, the sadist enjoys inflicting pain and the masochist consents. There is a person willing to be victimized and hurt and another willing to hurt and victimize. How is that OK? Unless the two people are only engaging in this as a sexual kink and are balanced in terms of empowerment and social behavior in other relationships/areas of their lives. If not, the masochist in particular could benefit from some counseling as to what is at the root of wanting or allowing oneself to be hurt and controlled.
@golly gee please don’t conflate bdsm (consensual sex) with non consensual assault.
Rapists & abusers sometimes weaponise common misunderstanding & prejudices around BDSM to mask their predatory behaviour. Ie Marilyn Manson/ Brian Warner was never a Dom. Because Doms care about enthusiastic consent. The pleasure arises from both parties enjoying the act & sharing that enjoyment.
I can understand that spanking, bondage and all of that aren’t your thing. And that’s chill. However that doesn’t mean masochists need therapy. It just means they are into something you’re not.
I really hope that Hammer is put behind bars. I’ve met men like him and they don’t change in my experience. Because they don’t have the humility to actually do work with a licensed professional. So I hope the justice systems actually helps protect womxn by locking him up.
People with power and money have always treated everybody else like garbage. Women are just unfortunately often lower on the totem pole in most cultures and get to experience what rolls downhill faster. Ultimately more of what Armie’s background reveals is that there’s likely generations of abusive, dysfunctional behaviors that are being passed down.
I do find it bizarre that they’re centering in on the whole mannequin thing as a big deal. I mean, being involved in shibari isn’t really a red flag to me lol. It’s considered an art form in some arenas, to the point where it’s not even always a sexual practice. (And of course you’d practice on mannequins rather than live people when you’re first starting out rather than real people??) It’s his treatment of women – the affairs, the disrespect, the entitlement and refusal to properly negotiate boundaries – that are the problematic elements here. He could be totally vanilla for all I care, and that would be the real issue at heart.
Carving your initial into someone without their consent is criminal. He committed crimes, he just won’t be charged.
Exactly, I came to say this.
For example, Allen was never charged either but don’t we all believe Dylan anyway?
I think Hammer gets a pass because he’s a white, tall, handsome guy born in a rich family.
Furthermore, as a rape survivor who reported her rapist to the police and got tortured by the latter, I would be really wary to advise another victim to go and report the facts. One might even end up dead.
AlpineWitch—good Lord. I am so sorry. 😔😔 Did the guy ever get caught?
Deering24, caught? He was never charged. Police spent all the time trying to make me recant my 11-page statement.
I suffered PTSD which had been caused by having reported the rape on top of what had happened. I basically had to ‘erase’ my life (including my identity) and restart somewhere else afterwards, as the rapist’s family legally owned weapons and had received death threats from them.
I was raped by my boyfriend in front of his young child and never reported it because I was sure no one would believe me and it would do no good. And I was in shock and traumatized and living with his family. I only told one friend (thankfully she was supportive of me).
Yesterday I listened to an excellent interview Louis Theroux has with fka Twigs on his podcast Grounded. It is kind of a two parter and in the second half, recorded totally separate from the original taping, Twigs speaks specifically about Shia Labeouf. Her descriptions of what she went through in that relationship sound very similar to what is described here. The control these men try to have over women, their victims, is abuse plain and simple.
Yes, that was a great interview – she really breaks it down and of course, he is a fantastic interviewer.
So, question. Do we think this is the beginning of some sort of PR rehabilitation comeback push for him? Because if so it’s never been more apparent that his agent dropped him. This odd, meandering VF article left me puzzled more than anything else. Just… why? Why to all of it? I mean if the gist of the message was “rich people be crazy” then…. message received? This didn’t make me feel more sympathetic to him at all, nor was it even written in a particularly interesting way. If anything, it made me sad that it’s still taking so long for abusive white men to get called on their BS.
But yeah. He comes from a long line of wealthy men named Armand who hurt women. Back to the barbecue I guess.
@gingersnap I read this article last night and it was a mess. It was badly written, the writer meanders here and there, so many name and nothing to help you figure out who is who, it’s almost incohesive. I didn’t understand the point of it either. There were no bombshell drops. It sounds like “hammer learned this behavior, it’s genetics”. If anything this article lessened his creepiness because none of the cannibalism was brought up as anything other than a message in passing. The whole article was crap and I can’t believe Vanity Fair put their name on it. It wasn’t even investigative. Where were the sources? The revelations? Most of it came from a book written in 1996.
But I’m starting to think the House of Effie thing might have been lies because whoever she is, she’s never come forth and put it on the record. My guess is they had a fight, she let it out, and then he called her and she went running back. As someone who has been in that situation, I know it’s been almost a year now and I am barely able to decidedly say I would not answer his texts and erase all of the receipts that make him look negatively.
If anything this article helped Hammer. It’s good PR. Woe is Hammer he comes from a long line of psychos. Let’s get him into intense therapy and maybe he’ll come out ok.
Anyhow when Ronan Farrow does the story wake me up. In the meantime that bombshell drop we’re waiting on doesn’t seem to materialize.
Been following house of Effie and the other accounts and it appears he’s lawyered up like crazy. VF probably had to be very careful about what they said. House of regret deleted all her allegations at the same time Effie shut down accounts and then came back up with all screenshots gone. she’s hired Gloria Allred, I read somewhere.
Sorry, I don’t think he’s coming back from this.
That’s probably why he’s broke. Those attorney retainers aren’t cheap!
Here is my take. I don’t really care what you do in your bedroom. BUT, if you fantasize about psycho things, I think you are creepy and gross. Cannibalism is psycho and disgusting. I think he is hideous.
I don’t know. I’m not into kink-shaming (which I’m not saying you’re doing because I’m about to agree with you), but it’s very hard to reconcile “cannibalism” as a kink. But then… oh gosh. It’s a tangle. I guess I would sort of love to hear from some sort of ethical BDSM authority about this? Does such an authority exist lol? Is there a council I could contact?! Lol. That whole aspect of it I have had a very hard time even thinking about. I’m all about sexual freedom, but what in the good g*damn does sexual freedom have to do with eating people? I don’t even like the idea of eating whipped cream in the bedroom, let alone eating my partner. **shudders**
I believe that anything that consenting adults want to do – as long as it doesn’t hurt others – is fine.
The “hurting others” part is the tricky part about a “cannibalism” fantasy. I see it as similar to a “pedophilia” fantasy or even watching certain types of porn. Yes, it’s a fantasy, yes, it could be just role play, but… how is that not a type of violence to other people in the world? It’s a very, very, very shaky line and I personally do not think healthy human sexuality should include violence – even pretend violence – to others. Because once your brain gets pleasure from doing that… where does it stop? How are they treating others in the world? Their partners?
But I will gladly listen to the experts from the Ethical Kink Council.
It’s not even a matter of kink shaming to me, to be honest. I just find it extremely dangerous to conflate fantasizing about something with the actual act of doing something. “Thought crime” is a terrifying concept and Orwell specifically tackled that issue in his novels for a reason. He may have been talking about broad sociopolitical issues, but his main point is that characterizing people solely by how they feel and think versus what they actually do can lead to some very serious problems that jeopardize freedom of movement in a society.
We have to be rational enough to break apart the concept vs action when it comes to people’s behavior. If for no other reason than the fact that if you isolate a marginalized sexuality, it’s just going to drive the behavior more underground where it can’t be as easily monitored. For a lot of people in BDSM, that D/S aspect is an inherent part of their sexual orientation. It’s not just some fun play, and they’re not able to mentally compartmentalize it the way other people who are just doing it for fun.
A lot of people who talk about kink in a denigrating fashion seem blind to the fact that the arguments against it hit on a lot of the same sentiments that were once used to criminalize LGBT+. They also aren’t that far removed from arguments against women having sexual agency. The problem with Armie Hammer isn’t that he talks cannibal fantasy with women. It’s strange and doesn’t speak to me at all sexually, but it’s not hurting anybody. The problem with Armie Hammer is that he’s doing these things with women who aren’t consenting to it or with whom he’s not respecting consent once they withdraw it after a line is crossed that they aren’t comfortable with and state as such. It’s the lack of respect for boundaries and personal autonomy that is what’s hurting people here. It’s the fact that he went after women who didn’t have as much experience instead of going into main BDSM circles and cheating on his wife behind her back.
BDSM communities are complex but they mainly police their own. I’m not personally in it, but I have two friends that are, and a lot of them feel the bulk of these problems started with the release of “Fifty Shades.” That introduced D/S dynamics into the public where people who may have had some inkling for it got introduced to it but without all of the highly important negotiation or mindset that goes into it. Basically, it gave us the most irresponsible version possible for public consumption. Most of them didn’t want it be widely distributed precisely because it is a complex and tangled consent arrangement people are engaging in that requires a lot of education, practice, and open communication. The biggest negotiating topic in that community is consent. Did Armie Hammer fantasize about cannibalism? is not the issue they’re concerned about it. What they’re concerned about is, “Did Armie Hammer fantasize about cannibalism and then engage those fantasies with women who refused consent for it?” Because the latter is the actual actionable issue. Sexual fantasies can be strange, inexplicable, and even unsettling. There are rape victims who fantasize about rape as part of their brain’s trauma coping process. That’s why the focus needs to be on the actual violation of consent and not the actual kink.
We can talk about the discomfort of mixing pain and sex together all we want, but at the end of the day, the issue to me is consent. As far as I’m concerned, we consent to violence all the time in society in other situations, whether it’s piercing ears, getting tattoos, having surgery performed, getting circumcised, etc. Those are all acts of violence against a body that we agree are acceptable because of why they’re being performed and with consent, so I don’t feel like sex should be held to a different standard.
I practiced BDSM for a while, and Shibari still today: my experience as sub was of the utmost respect, I remember my master told me “your limits will be my limits”, end of it, I felt completely “in charge” of my body of my mind.
I don’t feel the same respect here honestly.
I agree, I don’t shame anyone for any kink. I don’t love hearing or reading about certain acts but it’s my right to avoid hearing/reading about kinks, and it’s anyone’s right to have whatever kinks they have. The issue here is consent, not kink. If 2 consenting adults agree on doing something — and BDSM communities have a lot of helpful guidelines and practices here around establishing boundaries, roles, and safewords — then they can do whatever they want. But if one person does something to another person without their consent, that’s violence.
Just wanted to thank Veronica for her thoughtful comment. I’m not into kink myself, but I’m a therapist who’s worked with lots clients who have sexual trauma, and it’s not like the concept of consent is limited to just sexual intimacy. An abusive relationship is usually abusive in all aspects. Boundaries aren’t just violated sexually, they’re violated everywhere. That’s the point. Whatever fetish you might have you can find someone who wants to engage in it with you consensually. But the point isn’t cutting or biting or bbqing ribs, the point is violating boundaries. The point is the lack of consent.
I f@cking hate Thenns.
@mabs this is the perfect quote for this 🤣 I’m dead.
I hit a paywall on the article. Is Casey Armie’s aunt, his dad’s sister? Elsewhere I read she claimed sexual molestation from two generations of Hammer men. Also all the financial misdeeds through the generations including A. Hammer’s mother’s side of the family? Alledgedly.
@ Beech there wasn’t a paywall when I read it on VF last night. But you really didn’t miss anything. It doesn’t talk to much about his crazy mother or their weird church donations. The article was an incomprehensible mess and made Hammer look good on my opinion. Nothing crazy came out. No revelations. If you want to know about his grandfather read the book the author took all of her information from. All of the sources were Armie is a good guy, it’s a misunderstanding. It was a bizarre article and I’m still unsure of its point. Armie came out of it fine. Nothing about the abuse. The aunt seems to make it all into a big joke about how she was once rich and now she works at Home Depot. It was the most uninformative article and shoddy journalism (written by someone who can’t even write a coherent plot) I can’t believe VF printed it. It wouldn’t surprise me if Hammer’s PR wrote the article as a comeback piece. The only “shocking” thing they barely touch on is his father had a sex chair with a hole in the chair and cage beneath it.
Cosign all of this. It was so hard to follow, no point if not a PR rehab (not even intergenerational trauma?)
I cannot believe Ryan Murphy hasn’t got hold of this family for his crime series. This seems up his alley. What a bunch of degenerates.
Thanks @Ashley. I used to be a VF subscriber but not for many years. They’re probably holding a grudge. Anyone interested in the timeline of the old man can pull up Armand Hammer Afterlife, Washington Post, 12/27/96. The grifting was strong by Armie Hammer’s grandfather and Hammer’s mother’s father. And as for rehab, please! AH has all the acting talent of a log.
He came from a family that’s been wealthy for generations. Therefore he came from a family that treated women like garbage, both inside and outside the family. That’s how it rolls.
Armie seems like a very boring person who thinks his sexual life / unhealthy preoccupation with his reproduction functions makes him super edgy and self-affirmed and self-actualised. Other than that he was only good for a moment in CMBYN and otherwise so forgettable in other films. Don’t know what anonymous IG accounts can do to bring justice (good luck to these women) but the fact confirmed exes like Courtney and Paige have gone on record makes it probably impossible for him to regain his footing in HW. Really think his career is well over.