Christopher Ciccone’s hilariously bitchy comments about sister Madonna’s hair

Madonna’s brother Chris Ciccone was interviewed by E! News and asked about his sister Madonna’s appearance at the MTV VMAs this weekend. Chris didn’t hold back, but it took him a while to get into his stride. His first response was to say that Madonna looked like “Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong,” as if Zoe ever gets it right and it wasn’t enough of an insult to compare his sister to her. I’ve seen Zoe’s hair a little puffy but never that big. Then he really got bitchy and said “Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him.” That’s a pretty decent one. Keep ’em coming, Chris!

The pop icon’s estranged sibling Christopher Ciccone, whom she hasn’t been on voguing terms with since before he spilled some dirty beans in his 2008 memoir Life With My Sister, apparently doesn’t think much of his sister’s look lately.

“She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!” Ciccone told E! News, possibly referring to the satiny, zipped-up visage outfit Madonna was sporting Sunday night at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards.

“It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep— or don’t keep,” Ciccone jabbed, referring to his sis’ significantly younger other, Jesus Luz.

“It’s painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him.”

Oh, snap. So is Ciccone implying that Madonna’s rosy glow is more manmade than au naturel?

[From E! Online]

My favorite comment about Madonna’s hair came from Michael K at D-Listed who said that “I really have to give her a slow clap for bumping up her hair with BUMPITS.” I spent like a half hour on the bumpits website after that and seriously considered ordering that sh*t, even though I’ve never been compelled to style my hair high. It’s like I could if I wanted to, though, and the bumpits girls made me feel like I would somehow be more powerful with a big ‘ol head of hair.

Last year while promoting his book Life With My Sister Madonna Chris didn’t trash his sister exactly but he didn’t spare her, either. He said in an interview on Good Morning America that Madonna used Kabbalah like a weapon and was a controlling person who lived a “kind of choreographed mythological life.” Later, when Madonna’s marriage was over he told German newspaper The Bild that Madonna’s involvement in Kabbalah hastened the end of her marriage.

Madonna is shown on 9/13/09. Chris is shown on 9/25/08. Credit:

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44 Responses to “Christopher Ciccone’s hilariously bitchy comments about sister Madonna’s hair”

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  1. Sassy says:

    What an ass he is making of himself. It’s very clear to see that he’s only talking to the press to get those infamous “15 minutes of fame”. You should never put your family’s business out there. Even if you don’t get along with them. That’s a big no no in my book.

  2. SparringSparrow says:

    I bought Bumpits 2 months ago and still have not tried them. I like Madonna’s hair, though, so I might still give them a go.

  3. Linda says:

    I actually thought she might be doing a promotion for bumpits with this hair!

  4. Persistent Cat says:

    Can we make fun of his face lift? That’s one tightly pulled face, guy, you look like an idiot.

  5. Roma says:

    They were selling Bumpits in the checkout line at Walmart and I saw 4 different women put a package in their cart. People don’t normally do big hair in Toronto, I was pretty surprised.

  6. Tia C says:

    Maybe I’m just having a “short bus” day, but I don’t really get what Madonna’s brother is trying to say about her. Was he picking on Jesus’ hair with the blowdryer comment? Because her hair is not wet. And I’m not a huge fan of Madonna, but I thought she looked great at the awards the other night. I’m diggin the “That Girl” ‘do!

  7. Aspen says:

    I thought she looked awesome.

  8. Diane says:

    Being a sibling is soooo much fun = )

    (Sounds like home)

  9. Megan says:

    yeah MK @ DListed is effing hilarious! i can’t read that sh*t at work cuz i laugh so hard, i think my boss is on to me 🙂

  10. crash2GO2 says:

    Who is he trying to kid? She looked beautiful.

    LOL @ Persistent Cat

  11. pebbles says:

    um, i don’t think that she looks bad at all……..

  12. Kaiser says:

    As we say in the South, the higher the hair, the closer to God.

    Bumpit, CB!

  13. ash says:

    He’s just being an ass. She looked pretty damn good that night, and she kept her arms covered. Which is all I care about.

  14. paris herpes says:

    I love you gave props to my MK, he is totally hilarious! LOL!

  15. hatsumomo says:

    I wear the big hair all the time and just use good ole’ hot rollers for volume and hairspray. I saw those and a friend tried to get some for me to make my style ‘easier’, I was mortified. Hives are a LIFESTYLE not a day to day style.

  16. voodoobetty says:

    Re BUMPITS – a word of warning they will not work if you have thin or fine hair They will fall right out. I had my hairdresser try and put them on me many times and my hair just isnt thick enough. I have ton of hair too but its very fine.

    I think Madonna looks better here than she has in a long time. Her brother is just a sad old publicity seeking queen

  17. Just a Poster says:

    I thought she looked wonderful that night. Kind of like a grown up (shocking I know, because she wants to be young, young YOUNG) and very well put together.

  18. yadira says:

    For once I thought she looked…pretty. Now I will go and throw up

  19. yae says:

    Madonna refused to help her brother financially as wealthy as she is. So, it would seem he has found an effective way to make money at her expense.

    I find it amusing.

  20. Jillian says:

    I have Bumpits! I’ve used it twice. I have also read Chris’s book and thoroughly enjoyed it.

  21. nina says:

    she looks matronly, if you ask me. but he’s clever and funny. and he’s nobody’s shadow. i respect him for that.

    Madonna likes to dish it, so it makes sense her brother is capable of the same.

    the truth hurts.

  22. Pflagler says:

    Yes Zulu, we can certainly tell from your comment
    that you are an ideal candidate for lecturing the
    rest of us on class. I’m sure Jesus is ecstatic to have
    such a thoughtful and articulate representative
    here on earth.

  23. Cinderella says:

    I thought she looked pretty good that night, too. I guess it’s safe to say Chris is out of the will.

  24. lottaluvin says:

    I think she looks great. I like her hair.

  25. clare says:

    @Cinderella, my thoughts exactly.

  26. filthycute says:

    Roma, plenty of people in Toronto do big hair. What a ridiculous statement.

  27. the original kate says:

    can i ask why if madge is jewish does she wear the crucifix? that confuses me. none of my jewish friends wear them. don’t like her hair here, but she looks ok. at least her grizzled arms are out of sight.

  28. Lisa says:

    She looks just fine… Get a rug, Chris…

  29. Bobby the K says:

    i forgot what those silly things were called.


    i’m pretty sure that sarah palin has a few sets as well.

    what’s the point again?
    is there a cosmetic appeal that elludes moi?

    do women diss each other over who has the better cone-head happening?

  30. Bobby the K says:

    There’s something joan crawford-esque about her look in that photo.

  31. Roma says:

    @filthycute: my girlfriend went to Texas A&M and I went to visit her in College Station a lot. I can say confidently that people in Toronto don’t do big hair like people in Texas.

  32. she looked really good says:

    Madonna looked beautiful. Her hair looked soft and pretty.

    Guess after a woman turns 50 she’s gonna be ridiculed no matter what she does, even by (especially by?) other women.

  33. fizXgirl314 says:

    she actually kind of looks nice for a change…

  34. Eileen Yover says:

    CB- get yer BumpIts for if you’re ever in the Great State of Texas, your hair can never be too high or too over-processed there!

  35. overit says:

    Her hair normally looks like sh*t – an inch of black roots and straggly – so this is a welcome change and more in keeping with a quieter look. And yes, thank God she kept her arms covered, those things are hideous.

  36. Jaxon says:

    I think she looks pretty for a change–very Faye Dunaway and classy. It’s a huge improvement over greasy with and inch of black roots showing.

  37. Maritza says:

    I’d say its the best she has looked in quite some time.

  38. Shannon says:

    I bought some BUMPits at Target the other day after seeing a blog post about them. They’re a little difficult to figure out at first, but I got mine to work on the third try, I have really thick hair though – don’t get them if you have thin hair, the teeth will show through.

  39. For Sooth? says:

    It does appear Sarah Palin has used them successfully for quite some time but she will never get credit of it.

    I liked Madonna’s hair, butter face!

  40. The Domestic Goddess says:

    lol … not even his 15 minutes of fame. Madonna looked amazing, is amazing and will just keep on keeping on. He’s nothing but a waste of space, and a betrayer. All he’s done is show his true colours – truth and justice shall prevail.

  41. DrM says:

    When I read the name of the hair accessory I read “Bum Pits” instead of “Bump Its” I’m still laughing… for the life of me I could not figure out why they called them after an a*****e…I’m a bit slow today 🙂

  42. humph! says:

    I F**king love my bumpits!!! I wear them all the time and always get complitments on my bangin’ hairdo!! Woo-hoo!!!!!! Bumpits f**cking rock!!!!!!!

  43. TwinkleToes says:

    Buy a rat tail teasing comb at the beauty supply for a $1. Matrix Amplify spray on gel and find a vid on youtube. or just use aquanet if you have thick hair. You can use a roller on the back of head but be sure to roll the hair forward and back on the curler. No need to buy anything over a couple of dollars. people been doing it for years. You think Wino uses bumpits?

  44. Yo, when I try to browse posts I only find myself seeing a small part of the post. I don’t know if it is caused by my webbrowser(Safari) or not, anyone else having this issue?