Jana Kramer on her marriage ending: ‘I worked too damn hard for it to end this way’

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Jana Kramer recently went through surgery, right around the time she announced that she was divorcing her husband of six years, Mike Caussin, after he was unfaithful to her for the umpteenth time. On her Instagram stories she referenced a surgery and I then found that she talked about her decision to get a breast augmentation and lift about a month ago. So she’s understandably raw and is going through surgery recovery right now, but even accounting for all that she’s been a bit extra on social media. She shares a lot on Instagram including that she’s going through a hard time, which is understandable. Jana recently released an episode of her podcast, The Whine Down, where she talked about her decision to leave Mike finally. I’m going on Us Magazine’s writeup, and some of her quotes are quite telling, I’ll say that.

“I went to my therapist a few weeks ago like, ‘Fine, I’ll just live this life. It’s fine,’” [Jana Kramer], 37, said during a Monday, May 3, “Whine Down” podcast episode. “I didn’t want to break up my family. My whole thing was, like, I didn’t want this for the kids.”

[Jana] who shares daughter Jolie, 5, and son Jace, 2, with [Mike Caussin], 34, added, “I stayed for my kids even when other things happened.”

While the Michigan native’s therapist told her at the time that Caussin was “taking [her] light away,” Kramer argued, “But my kids! We’ll be together…”

With coparenting on the horizon, Kramer is dreading “the first time they leave for an overnight [visit].” She explained, “I’m gonna be destroyed. That’s not what I wanted. That’s not what I worked for. That’s not what I fought for. And it’s not f–king fair. And that makes me so angry. I worked too damn hard for it to end this way.”

However, [Jana] added that she understands that staying with Caussin was “weak” despite wanting to “keep [her] family together.”

While navigating her split, [Jana] called Jolie and Jace the “light” in her life. She gushed in a Saturday, May 1, Instagram post: “Sunshine is good for everyone. I gotta be honest, two weeks ago, the sun was the last thing I wanted to see, but through grieving you start to see the light. Even if it’s a dim light, it’s still something I’m gonna be grateful for. But I’ll forever be grateful for these two.”

[Jana] and Caussin welcomed their daughter and son in 2016 and 2018, respectively. The former couple exclusively told Us Weekly in April 2019 that they planned to tell Jolie and Jace about his sex addiction “before they Google.”

Kramer explained at the time: “They’ll never know specifics. That’s something that we’re not going to go, ‘Oh, your dad cheated.’ That’s not healthy for anyone to know. So it’s just, ‘Yes, this is your father’s addiction, but look at where we’re at now.’”

[From US Magazine]

It sounds like she’s blaming herself for not being able to change her husband when she married a cheater! She knew he was cheating on her when they were engaged and she still went through with it. Plus she’s catastrophizing co-parenting. She’s got two small children and they’re only going to go to their dad’s maybe half time, if that. I understand when they’re that little being scared to be away from them. However when my child was that age I looked forward to getting time off as it was a lot of work.

Staying together for the kids is the worst idea, especially when they’re witnessing dysfunction like this. As for her kids not knowing the specifics of their dad cheating, Jana and Mike have talked about it in the public record for years. Podcasts are forever and the kids will be able to access just about everything their parents said about it whenever they’re curious. This woman made her bed and she’s been lifting up the sheets and showing it to us for years.

Also, I’m pretty sure she’s deleted most of the photos with Mike on Instagram that weren’t sponsored posts.

This is from July, 2020 when she said parenting was hard. You can see the caption on Instagram.

photos via Instagram

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59 Responses to “Jana Kramer on her marriage ending: ‘I worked too damn hard for it to end this way’”

  1. Savu says:

    It always seemed like emotional abuse was going on here. She seems like a mess, who knows how much of that is actually her fault. Good for her for being done.

  2. Jess says:

    I guarantee her kids won’t even be gone much, he’ll be too busy trying to bang other women.

    • Lucy2 says:

      I thought the same thing. In 20 years those kids are going to be talking about how their dad just step further and further away from their lives every time he got a new girlfriend.

      • Christa says:

        Yea, dad is a loser and will be a dead beat parent even if he pays support . But they have their mom for whatever she is worth. Poor kids.

    • minx says:

      He just looks like a big knucklehead. A big cheating, lying knucklehead.

      • reef says:

        I only hear about this couple on here so I’m curious does he generally give the impression of being an absentee father? Being a terrible is husband/romantic partner is not the same as being a terrible dad. Several men in my life wouldn’t know the word fidelity if the Lord himself smacked them with it but they’re Mr. Mom.

  3. STRIPE says:

    I hope one day she can find comfort in knowing she put her all into it and that’s all she could have done. Unfortunately she chose someone that put in no work to change himself, best I can tell. She may have worked hard but he certainly did not and she deserves better.

    • Sayrah says:

      This. She told herself the most important thing was keeping her family together and probably still loved him a great deal despite all he did. She wanted to believe he would change and maybe he did briefly. There is something broken in him and she’s finally come to that realization. I wish her the best

  4. Noki says:

    Cheating is cruel,disgusting,hurtful etc but there is a special kind of hell with Men who cant even for lack of a better phrase ‘respectfully cheat.’ Him and the likes of Tristan are so sloppy with it. No discretion or the tiniest respect afforded to their partners. And just as Khloe is a clinger ,Jana seems to have the same traits. Hanging on for dear life under the guise of ‘family.’

  5. detritus says:

    You can do it, Jana.

    I wish we didn’t demonize divorce and co-parenting.

    The reality is that divorce allows women to leave bad situations. When marriage benefits men as a population and is detrimental to women the narrative that divorce is failure increases the pressure on women to stay in unhealthy relationships. Divorce as failure is anti-woman.

    We even police the timing and value – she should have done it sooner, she should have known, she shouldn’t be swallowing the lies society tell women all their life.

    • Jessi says:

      Holy moly, this is so accurate, incisive and articulate! I’m going to have to bookmark it as a rebuttal every time somebody brings up divorce as a failure. Thank you for such a well-worded statement.

    • court says:

      women often get the short end of the stick post-divorce though. Men’s standard of living usually goes up post-divorce, women’s goes down. The stats on child support are frightening, and it just allows men to play DIsneyland dad while mom does all the real parenting with even less support.

    • Em says:

      Well said. I love this group, such great insight.

    • Sigmund says:

      This 100%. Divorce by itself does not have to be a problem. It’s intended to be a solution to a problem, which is that a marriage is no longer working. Divorces can be as successful as anything else. Both parties have to make an effort and be respectful of each other as best they can.

      Shaming women into staying in bad marriages is not healthy for anybody. Jana very much seems to blame herself for her marriage not working, but it takes two people to make a marriage work. Hopefully she can take a step back from social media and reflect on that.

  6. Midge says:

    You don’t get to use children as an excuse when you had another child with a rampant cheater just two years ago.

    • tealily says:

      And then talk about how you plan to protect them from this. “‘Oh, your dad cheated.’ That’s not healthy for anyone to know. ” … then WHY have they been putting this out there so publicly for so long? These kids will know everything.

  7. Eenie Googles says:

    I know everyone here hates her, but that man has clearly done a number on her head.

    This is the thought process of an emotionally abused woman and I feel for her.

    • BearcatLawyer says:

      I don’t think people hate her as much as they hate her bad choices and inability to recognize her complicity in this terrible situation. From what I understand, she was in a horrific abusive relationship before which has undoubtedly affected her subsequent relationships with men. The problem as I see it is that she still has not healed from her abuse and has thus far not taken time to be resolutely single and focus on intensive individual therapy. Instead she jumped into a brief marriage, ended that, and took up with this guy – a known cheater. She keeps making choices that are so undeniably and obviously bad for her and her kids, but she comes off as preferring to whine about it (fitting podcast name) and blame everyone else around her rather than admitting that she is just as committed to this sick psychodrama as Mike, if only for branding and marketing opportunities. It is hard to be sympathetic to her at this point.

      • Ange says:

        Bang on. She had choices way before this point but she consistently chose the worst, most dramatic option and revelled in it in a sick kind of way. It’s easy to play the victim, it’s not so easy to do the work to stop choosing it.

    • Jess says:

      I would have more sympathy for her if she hadn’t chosen to profit off his cheating by writing a ridiculous book on healing your marriage not even one year after his affairs were exposed. It was all so obviously fake and unhealthy but they were out there pushing a toxic narrative about “spiritual guidance” to make money.

      I know she has very serious issues and a part of me does feel for her, but she needs to stay single for a looooong time and work on herself, figure out why she keeps choosing abusive men.

    • Kebbie says:

      I don’t hate her, but I think she bears some responsibility for the way she has monetized and publicized her toxic relationship. Rather than looking inward, she has focused on pushing her relationship outward as some kind of example for other people in a similar situation.

      Book, podcast, her Instagram posts…I just worry that she has done a lot to encourage women like her to stay in bad relationships in the name of compassion or being more evolved or whatever it is she was trying to prove she was. I’m happy she’s finally opened her eyes for the sake of her family and the people who listen to her though.

  8. Miss Margo says:

    These kids are going to be able to google EVERYTHING. It’s ridiculous to not tell them cuz they’re going to know. Eek, they are going to see all the shady she their dad did. Tbh though I don’t think he’s the type of guy to care. What an ass.

  9. The Hench says:

    I salute her for finally being done. But, lady, take responsibility. Stop using your children as the excuses for your lack of action. They didn’t exist when he first started cheating on you and you still married him. Plus disrespected doormat is not the example you want to be modelling for them. What is it within her that means she didn’t value herself enough to walk away long ago?

    Unless she finds help to answer that question there will always be a danger that the next man will not be the kind partner she needs.

  10. Claire says:

    Yep, SHE was trying. He didn’t GAF. I’m glad she’s finally done.

    • Paige says:

      Right?
      She worked so hard-trying to look the other way when he cheats?..
      There’s not much for her to do if he won’t stop cheating-and clearly he can not

  11. Sam the Pink says:

    Mike was making it very clear that he no longer wanted to be married to her. I mean, he was flagrantly cheating and disrespecting her. He wasn’t even pretending to try or to care. She was the one desperately trying to hold onto the marriage.

    Her whole persona at this point is being a cheated on wife – like, does anybody remember her country music career? Anyone? Like, is that really how she wants the world to know her? And don’t use your kids as an excuse for staying with him. Your kids need good parents – you can be good parents without being together.

    • DeltaJuliet says:

      Literally the only thing I know her for is having a shitty husband.

    • detritus says:

      Super clear except for the part where he didn’t actually file for divorce and continued to tell his wife he’d change.

      • Sam the Pink says:

        I don’t think he filed because he didn’t want that narrative. Lets face it – if he had filed, then her narrative would be that he was a terrible person, she “fought for the marriage” while he “gave up.” He probably figured it was more advantageous to just let her file, because no matter what he did, she was going to try to control the narrative of things. I mean, she found photos from other women in his phone despite the fact that he gave her permission to look in it. He wasn’t hiding a single thing at this point. He was basically daring her to walk away.

    • SofiasSideEye says:

      She is a doormat, but he is a fking coward through and through. I will never think it’s okay for someone to take the coward’s way.

      He likely didn’t file because the longer they stayed married the more money he’d walk away with.

  12. Jordana says:

    I’m glad she’s finally leaving him. But disappointed she’s still talking about his “sex addiction”.
    Sex addiction isn’t real, it’s not a medical diagnosis, it’s a made up term by people who are trying to explain away bad behaviour. I wish she would just stop.
    I don’t know if this link is allowed https://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com/blog-3/
    … but if anyone needs it, it really breaks down how and why cheating is abuse.

  13. Sonia says:

    Marriage shouldn’t be hard work. It can be tough at times but jeepers, clearly he wanted out and was too much of a wimp to do anything except push her to leave.

  14. Case says:

    It’s gross that they profited off of their dysfunction for so long. They made being a toxic couple their brand, like Dax and Kristen but in more desperate need of money. I seriously can’t believe they sold a book about fighting for their marriage and now this, lol.

    That said, I do think Jana seems like a kind person who has just been very hurt and mentally messed up from past abuse, in addition to this guy who was definitely emotionally abusive and manipulative. I hope she’s able to heal. Her kids are SO much better off in a happy home with one parent than an unhappy home with two.

  15. Hello Kitty says:

    I swear that when I saw she was getting a breast augmentation I thought to myself oh let me guess Mike cheated on her with girls with fake boobs! While I have a hard time sympathizing with her I am glad she finally dumped this zero. No man is worth this amount of pain.

  16. Meghan says:

    To me, saying “I stayed for my kids when other things happened” sounds like a set up to blame them in the future. Like, yeah I would have left earlier if not for you guys.

    Co-parenting is hard. I was so nervous the first time my son stayed with my ex. But I was also raw and upset because he had been lying to me for over a year, was living with another woman, had introduced my son to her before we had even discussed divorce, it was a hot mess. And even though I was angry and hurting my son still went and had a great time and now I luxuriate in the weekends I get for myself.

    • Kate says:

      Oh I really don’t think she meant that. I just think she’s explaining how hard she’s tried to make it work to keep the family together, even though I really don’t know who she thinks she needs to convince. Literally every person who has read or heard a single story about them believes she needs to go.

      Her little boy is so adorable – I love that age. I feel for her. I’ve contemplated divorce before and the thought of being away from your sweet little kids is heart wrenching. But once you get used to it I imagine the time you have with them becomes that much more special.

  17. Nicole says:

    I don’t know, I can sympathize with her to the extend that she stayed for the kids. I’d like to think this roughly translates to “I don’t know how to share my kids and not be with them every second of their lives.” I can understand that.

  18. Skittlebrau says:

    Yeah, she made some foolish choices but I feel for her. Missing out on half of your children’s childhood because your husband chose to cheat . . . it sucks.

  19. Amelie says:

    I really don’t know anything about this woman apart from her toxic marriage. Supposedly she’s an actress? What has she been in? I did some quick research and didn’t realize this was her third marriage. It seems her first husband (who was much older than her, she was 19 and he was 36 when they got married) subjected her to severe physical abuse and tried to kill her. He committed suicide in 2012. So I kind of understand why she was so hell-bent on trying to make a sinking ship float. This would be her third divorce and at least this time round the guy wasn’t subjecting her to physical abuse. She probably felt like this would be as good as it gets. And also there were kids involved. I now understand the over-sharing, the extra-ness. She’s been trying to justify being in another terrible marriage because of how insecure she is. However it’s done nothing but air her dirty laundry all over the place that her kids will easily be able to google once they are old enough.

    She needs to step away from social media and focus on herself and the kids. Be single for a minute. Do not jump head over heels into a relationship with the next guy. She is so, so damaged emotionally and I really hope she can heal. But it isn’t going to happen by oversharing with the public. She clearly has a pattern of falling into bad relationships and is setting a terrible example for her kids.

    • SofiasSideEye says:

      They are both setting a bad example for their kids. Being a serial cheater is far worse, because that’s not how you behave in a marriage without your spouses consent, even if you want out. I really feel there’s an issue in this thread where most are blaming the woman far more than the man. This is male privilege at work and it’s frustrating to read.

      If you’ve never been in a relationship like that you are simply lucky. They aren’t just cheating, they are also lying and saying they’ll change, or they are gaslighting like crazy and trying to make you feel like you’re nuts for suspecting what is right there. It isn’t normal and a person’s reaction to it is also not normal, crazy situations make you a little crazy because you’re constantly trying to find your footing in a world where chaos reigns and someone keeps telling you the sky is green.

      I don’t know anything about her other than what I’ve read here so if this was all to make money then I thinks that’s very wrong. Someone upthread made a great observation that she doesn’t want other women to follow Jana’s lead and to think this is the way to go, to hang onto something so toxic, and I agree. But that’s why we need to teach our kids discernment for who’s advice they choose to take now that we all have a platform. Take everything with a grain of salt the size of Texas.

  20. Wickster says:

    I wish my parents had gotten divorced before I was old enough to feel the hostility and resentment my father had for my mother and family life, and before I had to internally take on her understandable depression, and spend the rest of my childhood years feeling responsible for her sadness, and staying home instead of having a normal teenage life, thinking I could keep her happy (I couldn’t).
    I love and have immense compassion for both my parents, who were damaged by their own pasts, and grew up in an era where you didn’t ask for help, go to therapy, or question having kids or a family. I deeply wish they had gotten divorced earlier. At 14, it was much to late to erase the damage I incurred from living in the toxic atmosphere of two adults who were not compatible and resented each other. Back then divorce was not “normal” but today it is and for god’s sake, do your children a favor and get divorced and be happy apart.
    Kids know, they always know…even if they cannot verbalize it. And it messes them up. You’re hurting them by staying with someone who hurts you.

  21. Marigold says:

    This woman is just simple.

  22. ojulia123 says:

    I’m glad she’s in therapy. I hope she will eventually realize that she deserves so much better.

  23. Jaded says:

    There’s debate about whether it’s truly an addiction, and that it’s not even all about sex, however it’s no more about sex than an eating disorder is about food or pathological gambling is about money. In other words, guys like him are not simply people who crave lots of sex. Instead, they have underlying problems or disorders that drive their risky sexual behavior. I prefer the descriptive “hypersexual disorder” which operates the same way as an ED, substance abuse or pathological gambling. Other behaviours can appear similar to obsessive compulsive disorder. It also could be tied to abnormal levels of the brain chemicals dopamine or serotonin which drive addictive behaviour in order to get a temporary high, but has to be repeated to sustain the rush. Even issues like ADD, which can trigger poor impulse control or emotional disregulation, could also be involved.

    Any way you look at it he’s got some emotional/psychological issues he refuses to address, and she’s a classic enabler – both of them need to take a long, hard look at themselves for the sake of their children because at this tender age they could be the ones to suffer most.

  24. goofpuff says:

    I can’t with that crying instagram picture. It’s so freaking “prettified” that it’s just not raw or real. Just instagram real. Reality show real.

    • Hell Nah! says:

      Well since you bring it up…can someone tell me how these pictures get taken?

      I have often wondered how, when you’re in tears (or some kind of emotional crisis) you have the wherewithal to get your phone out and….take a picture of yourself? That you intend to send out and share with the world later??

      Sorry, but I’m being serious. I just don’t get it. Is there someone else there that you direct to click the shutter? Or do you take a second to pause from bawling, center yourself in the frame and click so…everyone else can see your pain?

      • 2lazy4username says:

        At the risk of sounding like the old(ish) lady that I am, it is absolute insanity and a total reflection of how social media has completely messed up brains. I have a 20-year old daughter and if her brain was studied in comparison to mine at the same age, it would probably look very different. People have been permanently re-wired and it’s sad af.

      • goofpuff says:

        Don’t forget while you’re in an emotional crisis, find time to play around with the various filters, a little photoshop, add in some appropriate lighting…yes its totally taken on the fly.

  25. Mina_Esq says:

    I hope it sticks.

  26. AppleTart says:

    Not everyone is meant to be married. From what I read he had never been in a serious relationship or faithful to anyone before he met and married pretty quickly. I think he thought marriage and/or kids would fix him. But if you can’t fix yourself from within no one and no life event is going to change that.

    You can still be a good parent if you’re a shitty spouse. She was just trying to save face all these years.

  27. Sarcasm101 says:

    Sex addiction, this “diagnosis” has to go. It’s not an addiction, it’s because he’s a dick.

    • goofpuff says:

      Sex Addiction is her way of ‘saving face’ to sell her mommy/lifestyle influencer life she’s making money with right now. It seems to be very difficult to admit she married a cheating asshole who’s totally at fault for his behavior to still sell some kind of “perfect life”.

  28. Jayna says:

    The fact is she is now going to ship her babies off 50 percent of the time. That would kill me, absolutely kill me, so I can see why you fight the idea of divorce in your mind. I don’t sound politically correct on here for this, but it’s much easier to think about divorce when you still have the larger share of physical custody. When you know what the reality is, it’s easier to stick it out, which is what she was doing until he was in her face about it. You can’t fight those mother feelings and worrying about the little ones. Then you come to the horrible moment your little ones have daddy’s new live-in girlfriend and /or wife. These emotions can rip you apart. I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and a dad who came at night. I had such stability and love.

    • Jayna says:

      Edit. A dad who came “home” at night. LOL My point is, anyway, with the 50/50 split custody favored now, it’s extremely hard when you have little children to think of having to lose mothering them that much, essentially half a year’s worth of time.

  29. teehee says:

    But it shouldn’t be hard.

    You shouldn’t HAVE to work that much.

    That’s a sign that either or both parties is not emotionally mature or skilled (or willing) enough to make a decent relationship yet.

    No relationship is effortless entirely, but it certainly isn’t supposed to be hard.

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