Gwyneth Paltrow’s wise daughter Apple thought her mom was a ‘total loser’

Even though Gwyneth Paltrow annoys me to no end, even I will admit that it seems like she’s a good mom. Her two kids, Apple and Moses, seem well-adjusted and completely normal for their ages. Unlike so many celebrity moms, Gwyneth hasn’t tried to force Apple into some kind of nepotism-modeling career and I get the feeling that Gwyneth and Chris really want their kids to go to college and be “normal” for as long as possible. Gwyneth has been posting more photos of her kids recently on Instagram, and Apple seems to be “helping” her mom with the Goop empire. Gwyneth also posted a photo of Apple for her 17th birthday – Apple really is a beauty, a really nice combination of her mom and dad. Gwyneth also chatted recently about how Apple thinks her mom is dreadfully uncool. Good. Gwyneth is uncool.

Apple doesn’t want her mom’s advice: The Oscar winner tells PEOPLE Apple “does not want my advice whatsoever on anything” when it comes to shopping: “She has all of her online stores that she loves, and my son is the exact opposite.” She says 15-year-old Moses Martin (whom she also shares with ex-husband Chris Martin) “cannot make up his mind. He’s very indecisive, like I am. He’s mostly shopping on skateboard sites and that kind of thing. But he likes advice; she does not.”

Apple thought Gwyneth’s style was awful: “My daughter likes my style now, which is great because there was a period of time where she thought I was a total loser,” the star says, adding that Moses does still have some objections: “My son, he never likes it if I wear anything revealing, like vaguely see-through or too low cut or too high cut. He wants me to dress very conservatively when I leave the house.”

Her dad was a great shopper: “My dad was more of a shopper than my mom [actress Blythe Danner]. He always said to buy things of great quality, and look after that. Whenever he would wear a cashmere cable knit sweater, he would put it back in a plastic bag with a little cedar chip in it. He kept his shoes and nice items bagged. He really looked after his things. He was sort of the opposite of that fast-fashion mentality. He really instilled that in me. Buy things of really good quality, take care of them and keep them forever.”

She’s saved all of her clothes from the ‘90s: “I have tons of clothes from the ’90s that I’ve saved. I’ve saved basically all my red carpet dresses,” she says. But one of her most cherished items never saw a glitzy premiere or awards show: “My dad bought a sweatshirt from my high school; it was his and now I wear it. It’s pretty cute.”

[From People]

It’s pretty normal for Moses to want his mom to dress more conservatively, I think. Not that Gwyneth is all about low-cut everything, but she’s worn a few provocative looks over the years and I’m sure she embarrasses the hell out of Moses. But Apple is right, Gwyneth has been a total loser (sartorially and otherwise) for many years. Still, if I had the chance, I would enjoy Gwyneth’s ‘90s archives too. What a treasure trove Gwyneth must have at this point, and all for Apple. When I was that age, I never wanted to hear what my mom had to say about fashion either. The youths are gonna dress however they want, and we’re not supposed to tell them that we actually dressed like that when we were young too.

IGs courtesy of Gwyneth.

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42 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow’s wise daughter Apple thought her mom was a ‘total loser’”

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  1. BrainFog says:

    That son sounds like an a-hole in the making, with a problematic view on female sexuality. Heaven forbid his mother enjoys life and her body.

    • FHMom says:

      That isn’t fair. Teens get embarrassed very easily. I doubt any child wants to see his/her mom dressed with her breasts hanging out.

      • Seraphina says:

        @FHFMom, I agree. When I was in Europe I wore a more revealing swim suit that when at the pool back home with the moms and kids. My kids were very young and they looked at me horrified.

      • Courtney B says:

        I went topless on the beach in Nice when my two oldest were toddlers. They don’t even remember and my youngest wasn’t born. And even the thought of it makes them want to die. Lol Kids just don’t like the thought of that stuff. I’m sure Moses wouldn’t want to see Chris Martin in a Speedo or thong or something either.

    • Meime says:

      Yikes, I feel like that’s a bit of a harsh take on a younger teenage boy whose mother wears sheer dresses on red carpets and sells candles that smell like her vagina. I actually think he’ll probably have a healthy view on female sexuality when he’s a bit older because of all of this, but right now I wouldn’t be surprised if his friends tease him or whatever about Goop’s antics. His brain is still developing, and as a teenager it’s super common to be embarrassed by your parents, even when they are your normal run of the mill types and not they types who suggest to the masses to stick jade eggs in their lady bits.

    • Lawcatb says:

      Whoa. That’s an overreaction. How many people are able to view their parents as fully formed, independent people, separate from their parental roles, when their teenagers? Give the kid a break.

    • Lucy2 says:

      I disagree. If he were 20 something-year-old saying it, sure, but a young teenager dealing with puberty? No kid that age is going to want to see their parent connected to anything considered “sexy”. Especially celebrity parents, and especially one like her. I would’ve been mortified by some of the stuff she does and says at his age!

    • M says:

      What? He’s a teenager embarrassed by his mom. Stop with this nonsense.

    • Bella says:

      My mid-teenaged GIRLS get grossed out when they catch me and hubby making out. Me wearing revealing clothes? Yeah, they would totally hate and roll eyes.

    • The Recluse says:

      No, he’s just being a teenager. I remember being easily embarrassed by some of the grown ups around me. He’ll grow out of it.

    • godivalady says:

      I agree with you. This kind of thinking is a problem, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a teenager. in fact, it would be better to address it now rather than when he’s older. people need to stop infantilizing white teenagers. they’re old enough to learn about this kind of thing.

  2. Emily says:

    Every time I see a parent post about a kid’s birthday, I brace myself for the checklist of perfection. Whether it’s for a baby (“Four months already?! You’re trying to crawl, you gurgle, your eyes light up, you make such good poopies!”) or a 17-year-old (“You make me belly laugh! You are brilliant and hardworking!”), they always seem so tired.

    Am I alone in this?

    • GreenBunny says:

      No I’m the same. Mostly because 90% of the time the kid is so young that they can’t read or they aren’t on social media so it’s basically it’s a big humble brag for the parent to boast how awesome they are.

    • Lemon says:

      I think it’s nice. My mom loved me, but she was messed up. She thought nothing of telling people embarrassing stuff about me and if I did well in school it was because I was expected to and not anything worth praising. Now that I’m an adult I have a better relationship with her, but I would have loved if she had actually celebrated me on my birthday with others instead of her usual melodrama about herself or embarrassing stories.

      • Andrew’s Nemesis says:

        Your mother was Kirsten Bell?
        -Had and have the same exact thing with my father; he’s not only indiscreet and never proud of me, but always makes me feel morally judged and found wanting. It’s both problematic and hurtful, and I don’t think I’ll ever make peace with it or him.

      • Abby says:

        I agree to some extent – neither of my parents would have ever publicly praised me so openly and profusely – my dad because he was a private person, and my mom, because well, she sounds a lot like your mom.

        But, I also get tired of the over-the-top humble brag posts. They just seem so… extra. No kid is perfect. Praising & encouraging your kid is great but maybe keep it a little more private.

    • M says:

      It is so out of control, and it instills narcissistic beliefs in kids. Then when they experience the real world, the external world, they are in for a harsh awakening.

      • AMA1977 says:

        I disagree, your parents should be your biggest cheerleaders growing up. I tell my kids directly that I am proud of them, and I also make sure they hear me saying positive things about them to other people we value. I don’t do that at the exclusion of correcting/coaching/teaching when warranted, but I am a believer in the maxim “praise publicly, criticize privately.”

        Letting your kids know you’re proud of them, think they’re special, and love them helps create self-esteem (provided you’re reinforcing those statements with loving, supportive actions.) It’s not my job to toughen my kids up for the harsh world, it’s my job to give them the tools to navigate it while remaining healthy and happy.

        Narcissists are made from insecure or nonexistent caregiver bonds and abuse. Loving, supportive words from an involved parent or other caregiver do not make one a narcissist.

      • Courtney B says:

        I think there’s a line. I’m my kids biggest booster but I’m also honest with them. There’s them as a person who I’d do anything for and their individual actions which need blunt talk. You can be their defender without blowing smoke up their butts and making them think they’re the specialist snowflake ever.

  3. AmyB says:

    Gwyneth annoys me to no end too, but it is nice to see she can embrace her daughter thinking she is/was a “total loser” LMAO

    This just makes me laugh for some reason!! If only to think it might bring Gwyneth down a few notches for a moment! But….prob not LOL

    • Golly Gee says:

      It shows that she is not brittle and can laugh at herself. She seems to have lots of good friends too, so she must be likable, in spite of her arrogance (I invented everything/I did everything first), her out of touch persona that comes across in the media, and her Goop grifting. She’s probably a lot of fun to be around.

      • Twin falls says:

        Narcissistic people can be very charming and fun to be around and have lots of people in their orbit that appear to be friends. Doesn’t mean they aren’t also toxic.

      • Dee Kay says:

        Yes I think that Gwyneth is indeed fun and funny and charming, and is occasionally (though rarely) a good actress bringing legitimate value to a film or TV set. She’s also hella famous so her name adds some cachet to a media property. I’m sure that’s why the film and TV industries still keep her around. But all of her GOOP work is so, oof, *problematique.*

  4. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    Since Goop did everything first before anyone had even thought of it – yoga, clean eating, exploding vagina candles – she must be the biggest and bestest loser that ever was. Honestly – wait for the next humblebrag.

  5. Merricat says:

    I also believe in good basic wardrobe pieces. Lol, I must be old.

    • Seraphina says:

      I believe in them also – the older I get the more I try to have good quality well made clothing. Which right now is difficult to find. Everyone is taking the cheap way out.

      • teecee says:

        This is so true. It’s very difficult to find well-made clothes, especially if you want them to be also ethically made. Even if you’re willing to pay any price, the pickings are slim. And then the options are largely shapeless shifts! I no longer have the figure that can carry a shapeless linen sack, and most of the women that do can’t afford to pay $1000 for one.

        It’s so frustrating.

    • schmootc says:

      Cost per wear! Buy the nicest you can, then wear things as much as possible and repair as much as you can and you come out ahead in the end. It’s just economics. And better for the environment. Cheap stuff sucks unless it’s super trendy and will be out of style in six months anyway. Which, as you get older, you don’t often wear anyway. At least I don’t.

  6. Annaloo. says:

    Every public post of Apple is by design and planned. Apple’s promotion and induction into the spotlight is to assure her controlled delivery into fame. We’ve never seen the faces of Nicole Kidman’s daughters, for example. You can keep a lid on privacy of your family. It’s difficult,but can be done, so let’s just remember this w every post G makes of Apple and not be naive what G is doing.. , she’s the next Mama Kris with how much she’s putting her kids into the public spotlight. It’s purposeful.

    • M says:

      I agree.

    • teecee says:

      Kidman’s non-Scieo kids are 10 and 12. When Goopy’s kids were that age, we didn’t see them either. Apple is 17. 17 year olds are online nowadays, no matter who their parents are.

    • lucy2 says:

      Since she’s started posting more and more about her kids, I’ve been thinking the same thing, but I hope that’s not the case. I hope both of those kids are free to pursue whatever they want in life, not limited to the entertainment industry if they want something different.

  7. Natters says:

    I’ve watched interviews with both Blythe and Gwyneth and Blythe would wax poetically and fawn on how her daughter was simply amazing. Her mother actually idolizes Gwen. I thought, “Ah, this is how Gwyneth became a narcissistic asshole who suffers from high self esteem, her mother brainwashed her into thinking her s$&t don’t stink”. Now she is doing the same thing to her daughter. A new asshole in the making.

  8. elle says:

    That’s how I read it, too. The only person who humblebrags about being is loser is a person for whom the subtext is, “And I’m so clearly NOT a loser that it’s funny.”

    Oops… this was in reply to Andrew’s Nemesis.

  9. Piratewench says:

    Am I going straight to hell if I say that I do not find Apple to be a great beauty? I think she got a rather odd combo of her parent’s features. I’ll see myself out now.

    • florencia says:

      She’s still a kid so she’s still growing into herself, one thing I will applaud G on is that Apple will likely stay looking like Apple and probably won’t fall into the trap of getting work done until she looks like every other pretty girl on socials.

      • Courtney B says:

        And she doesn’t need to pose like so many Instagram influencer wannabes who use so much makeup and filters they’re unrecognizable and indistinguishable from every other one. No dead eye expression and open mouth poses.

    • BountyHunter says:

      Agree.

  10. The Recluse says:

    I have a friend who always had this fun 60′s influenced style. She was effortlessly cool and funny about it. Now her daughters, twin teenagers, get the benefit of all those vintage clothes she hung onto all these years. I suspect they will turn out just as smart, laid back, and fun as she was.

  11. florencia says:

    She won’t be a nepotism model, she’ll likely be a nepotism executive at Goop. And having a teen who thinks she’s lame is possibly the only relatable thing about Gwyneth!