Australian news anchors can’t stop laughing at the shape of Jeff Bezos’s spaceship


Earlier this month, we talked about the race between Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk to see which billionaire could get into space first. All three men announced they’d planned civilian flights aboard their own spacecraft at various points this year. Once confirmation of their flights came through, Branson and Bezos further wowed their crowds by announcing they, themselves, would be aboard those flights. It looks like Bezos and Blue Origins won the first round, as Branson will not make his July 4 target date to shoot into space. And what screams “I’m The Man” more that rocketing yourself into the atmosphere in a giant penis-shaped device that costs billions and naming it New Shepard? None of this was lost on Australian morning show hosts Allison Langdon and Karl Stefanovic. While covering the Bezos launch story for the Today Show, the hosts couldn’t take their eyes off the giant steel phallus behind them. While Allison attempted to carry on, Karl wouldn’t allow it, choosing instead to ask if anyone else thought it looked “a little odd”. The two finally acknowledged the elephant in the room and gave in to the giggles:

[From YouTube via DListed]

I mean, come on! It couldn’t look any more like a shvantz. I, too, gave a hoot when I saw that thing. We keep referring to this showdown between Branson, Bezos and Musk as a “d*ck wagging contest,” so this is seems like the predictable outcome. I want to believe that when Bezos met with the Blue Origins engineers, they took that into consideration. Like, they gave some fancy science speak as to why it needed that specific cap on top or the cylinder needed to look just so, but in reality, they just wanted to help Bezos broadcast his true message for everyone to see.

As for the Today hosts, I love their reaction. Even when they cut to their correspondent in American, Alison Piotrowski, she can’t keep a straight face. Meanwhile, there’s the Bezos voiceover of him saying how he’s always wanted to go to space, attempting to sound inspirational and falling short of coming across as genuine about anything. They cut back to all three hosts barely keeping it in check, which honestly, is absolutely the best reaction to Bezos after he whipped his Blue Origin New Shepard out to impress the world. Oh, BTW, you, too, can ride this giant metal monster for a current bid of $3.6M.

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35 Responses to “Australian news anchors can’t stop laughing at the shape of Jeff Bezos’s spaceship”

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  1. Merricat says:

    Best lol this morning!

    • goofpuff says:

      SpaceX starship ship looks the same also! Honestly all rockets carrying humans to space need to look like that but it’s funny :). Source: I work in aerospace.

      • Betsy says:

        I realize we’re decades and decades past Apollo, but they managed to have that shape without looking quite so… openly referential, shall we say?

      • goofpuff says:

        Not really. When you go into space, fuel efficiency and weight make a huge difference in cost and lift. Which determines the most efficient shape. And this is after years of rocket science the most efficient shape to get off the ground without spending an extra billion dollars making it look “different” just because.

        The bulge at the top is where the astronauts sit so it has to be big enough for them to live in for days if not weeks. Also its particular shape (the flat bulgy part) is so it can do re-entry without killing everyone. The rest of the rocket needs to be a slim as possible (weight and aerodynamic design) because it will detach once it gets the actual space ship (the crew ship) into orbit and come back to Earth.

        I always laugh at the shapes myself even though I completely understand why they have to look that way 🙂

      • Golly Gee says:

        Thanks for the explanation goofpuff. 🤓

    • Northerngirl says:

      + 1000! XD

    • Nina says:

      +1. All of us need to get our minds out of the gutter 🙂

  2. Abby says:

    Ohh their reactions are the best.

  3. Linda says:

    So a dick takes a ride in a dick. Seems right.

  4. Eleonor says:

    This is one of the most epic middle life crisis in the history of penis.

  5. (TheOG) Jan90067 says:

    Well, guess we now know that Bezos is circumcised!

  6. Eurydice says:

    Hilarious. And I read last week that 41,000 people signed a petition to not allow Bezos to land back on Earth.

    • Chanteloup says:

      Make that about 103,941 signatures and rising every second That’s just the one petition on change dot org , there are more lol

  7. Golly Gee says:

    First the leaking (no pun intended ) of Bezo’s dick pic, and now this — SO much grander. I wonder if it will stay erect long enough to complete the flight.

    • Michelle Cooper says:

      She knew what she was doing at the end. How long will it last? All for a few seconds? What a great start to the morning, a good laugh.

    • Steph says:

      Have you ever seen/been inside Jeff Bezos’ balls (atriums)? I kid you not, he has now reflected dick and balls in at least two of his efforts.

  8. Who ARE these people? says:

    Schlongs in space!

  9. Liz version 700 says:

    This is just the best!

  10. goofpuff says:

    SpaceX ship looks the same also.

  11. NTheMiddle says:

    Geez… it’s like middle school boy billionaires designed this thing. WTF?

  12. Darla says:

    This is like freaking Spaceballs! What a dope. OMG. I would be so embarrassed.

  13. lucy2 says:

    So not only does he look and act like Dr. Evil, but now he has the Dr. Evil spaceship too. Huh.

  14. Amelie says:

    It also gives the news clip all these great double entendres “blast off into orbit” “rocket launch” “what they do call that? they call it Blue Origin” LOL. I had never seen a pic of a Blue Origin rocket until today so thank you for the early morning laughter. I’m so sad SNL is on summer break right now.

  15. Golly Gee says:

    Also, shouldn’t the fire becoming out of the tip? Or is that just for ejaculating billionaires when the thing explodes?

  16. Celina says:

    If you’ve ever been to the Amazon, umm, Spheres in Seattle, it’s clear Bezos is trying to tell us he has three balls.

  17. Nina says:

    Tell me you have issues with your size without telling me you have issues with your size.

    Btw has anyone signed a petition asking that Jeff Bezos gets banned from coming back to Earth after his flight?

  18. SarahCS says:

    Well I’m still giggling and busy sending this story to my friends. Bonus points to the tweeters and comments above which have added to my entertainment.

    Now, how do we leave them up there? Bezos and Musk for sure.

  19. godivalady says:

    Karl Stefanovic is a gem and there are compilations of him breaking during the morning show. His giggles are so contagious.