Prince Philip wouldn’t want the Queen to ‘sit around mourning like Queen Victoria’

Day Three of The Royal Windsor Horse Show

Here are some photos of Queen Elizabeth at the Royal Windsor Horse Show. She attended the multi-day event on two consecutive days, July 2nd and 3rd. Because Liz loves horses and she loves horse events. Prince Edward, the Countess of Wessex and, um, Penny Brabourne were also at the Royal Windsor Horse Show. Liz was probably happy to see Philip’s special friend, one would assume. She honestly looked thrilled to spend two days doing horse stuff. Which has led to a new round of commentary about why the Queen doesn’t seem to be devastated by grief for her late husband. It seems that much like the Countess of Wessex’s rationale for going on a Grief Tour, the Queen believes that moving on and having fun is “what Philip would have wanted.”

The Queen is moving on: Speaking exclusively to FEMAIL, Phil Dampier, who has written about the royal family for 35 years, explained that although the Queen was ‘devastated’ by Prince Philip’s death in April, she has been determined to carry on with public duties because he would want her to ‘live life to the full’. He added that the easing of lockdown restrictions has given the Queen ‘new energy’ and she is carrying out her duties with renewed ‘enthusiasm’.

What Philip would have wanted: ‘Some might think it is strange that she is so happy so soon after Prince Philip’s death, but I think there is a simple explanation,’ Mr Dampier explained. “I’m sure she was devastated by his passing – after all they were married for 73 years. But I’m sure that he told her to enjoy what was left of her own life. He would not want her to sit around mourning him like Queen Victoria did for Albert, and I bet he would want her to carry on living life to the full. Ironically they spent a lot more time together at the end because of lockdown. His death wasn’t unexpected and he had a long and fulfilled life. Like him the Queen is very practical and pragmatic, and she knows he would support her getting out and about.’

Liz loves the goss: ‘It’s been fantastic to see the Queen is such good form in recent weeks. She seems happy and relaxed and it’s a joy to see her smiling face. I think she is just delighted to be out of lockdown like the rest of us, and getting out and about doing the things she loves. She has her social life and you could see how happy she was to be at the Windsor Horse Show, one of her favourite events of the year, four days running. She meets up with old friends and loves to catch up on gossip, as well as spend time with her own family.’

Liz is being supported: ‘We have seen how other members of the family are now supporting her, with Prince William and Princess Anne on recent visits in Scotland. And we can expect to see more of Edward and Sophie as well as Charles and Camilla with the Queen. She will never abdicate, but slowly the others are taking up the slack.’

She’s never alone: ‘In private she is never lonely, with her two favourite servants, dresser Angela Kelly and page Paul Whybrew always on hand,’ he explained. ‘They are so close to her they even sometimes sit watching TV with her for company. Being released from lockdown seems to have given the Queen new energy, and at 95 she has a truly remarkable zest and enthusiasm, making every day a new adventure.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Personally, I don’t judge the Queen for getting out there and doing events and horsey things after her husband passed away. It probably IS what Philip would have wanted and keeping busy probably makes her feel better. What does surprise me is that she genuinely seems happier now that Philip’s gone. I guess I’m also surprised that she still has so much on her plate. Charles has so clearly set up a soft regency and he’s assuming so much control behind-the-scenes. But Liz is the one people want to see, and she’s “being seen” all over the place.

Queen Elizabeth II watches her horses compete on the second day of the Royal Windsor Horse Show

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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55 Responses to “Prince Philip wouldn’t want the Queen to ‘sit around mourning like Queen Victoria’”

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  1. Pippi says:

    I gotta say: Liz looks great! My grandma is the same age, but has been separated from my grandpa, who is in a dementia care facility, the entire pandemic, and it has taken a tremendous toll on her. As a result, she is not nearly as spry as she was. Being able to keep doing what you love and be with with who you love makes so much difference in older age. I guess for Liz, who she loves are her horses. 😀

  2. Astrid says:

    How grief stricken could she be when they weren’t even living together anymore?

    • Jan says:

      Thank you, very much.

    • Lizzie says:

      I think it does rock your world to lose one the last few people who knew you when you were young. Just because they didn’t live together doesn’t mean there wasn’t some love there.

    • goofpuff says:

      I find it insulting that women are always expected to “grieve forever” and men can just get remarried in a heartbeat.

    • LilacMaven says:

      Exactly! Also, sometimes when you’ve seen a loved one struggling with illness for years (and Phillip hadn’t truly been well for some time), it IS a relief when they pass. Because you no longer have to worry about them or see them in pain.

  3. Amy Bee says:

    Let’s face it, the Queen and Philip were separated for many years. She did her grieving for Philip years ago when he left her.

    • (TheOG) Jan90067 says:

      Exactly, if anything, I think she feels relief at this point. And let’s face it, the last five years since PP retired, until the pandemic forced them together, he was HAPPILY living apart with his “companion”.

      Funny, I really was thinking in some of the pics they put out, I was thinking she looks positively GIDDY. Most genuine smiles I’ve seen on her face in eons.

  4. Over it says:

    I guess we are no longer blaming Harry and Meghan for Philip death right Phil? Thank goodness.Kaiser you make me crack up with your she seems happier now that he is gone. Oh I bet she is. If my husband had a companion all these years and I put up with it. I too won’t be broken up when he blew off into the wind

  5. Merricat says:

    I reckon she saw her horses more often than she saw Philip, so it follows.

  6. Truthiness says:

    I always thought her biggest love affair was with the United Kingdom, and then Philip. And she is so happy to be out of quarantine. But…that article says Angela Kelly is always there? Is she the source for the “I wasn’t asked for permission to use the name Lilibet?” She’s been at the scene of the crime before, with M & H.

  7. Woke says:

    I wonder if that’s a good strategy. Charles is not popular, maybe it’s time to get people used to see him more ? And it won’t happen if she’s out there.

    • Snuffles says:

      Charles will never be popular. At best, he will
      be seen as good at the job, dutiful and hard working. Respected but not beloved.

      • Lucky Charm says:

        I can’t imagine William being either respected or beloved when he’s King. He has no work ethic, tries to do as little as possible, and has no empathy. Not a great combination in a leader.

  8. equality says:

    If Charles is doing the serious stuff and she is getting to do fun events, I guess that would make her happy.

    • Sofia says:

      Yup. Charles works behind the scenes and deals with the power plays and drama of the courtiers/other people while HM hangs with her horses and corgis and smiles at her engagements.

  9. Lizzie says:

    Lesson from my family is the older folks have life experience to deal with death and grief better than the younger generation. I find all of this a bit condescending to older people.

  10. Becks1 says:

    I actually do think that Philip wouldn’t want her to sit around mourning him, especially considering he was almost 100 when he died. We said at the time of his funeral that the scaled back funeral would probably have been closer to what he wanted than anything big, and I think he would scoff at the idea of Liz sitting around looking at pictures of him while dressed in mourning clothes .

    But I also think she loves the summer activities – going to Scotland, the horse show, being outside – she always seems happier in the summer to me than in January or February (which is true for me too lol.)

  11. Esme says:

    Watching over a loved one at the end of their life is exhausting, draining, painful. (Even with all the help and care they can access, it’s a constant pain in your soul). Their passing, and the end of their suffering, might become, in some ways, a liberation. Everybody processes grief and loss differently, there’s no set timetable and people should not impose theirs on her.

    • ncboudicca says:

      yes, this!

      • Justwastingtime says:

        I have watched my parents go through so much in the last five years. Many broken bones (my mother), heart attacks (my father), strokes (both parents), dementia (my mother) ..have to say, my view on getting past 82 or 83 is that unless you are lucky, it’s utter hell.

    • liz says:

      So, so true. I watched my parents go through this. They were happily married for 52 years. But that last six months, while my father was dying of pancreatic cancer was so, so difficult. Dad was in pain and miserable. Mom was physically exhausted and emotionally drained, even with all the help they had (his hospice caregivers were fantastic).

      Shortly after Dad died, Mom went to spend a few months with her sister-in-law. They went to the beach, played golf, ate good food and just relaxed. When Mom came home, she looked and felt so much better. And she said that a lot of that was simply not having to watch the man she loved for her entire adult life suffer anymore.

  12. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    A completely tinfoil theory: perhaps she fell out of love with him years ago due to his many affairs, and saw so little of him that she became indifferent? Perhaps she felt shackled to the great arrogant bully, who enjoyed putting others down, insulting ethnicities and flirting wildly with other women in front of her? Perhaps all these years she’s considered him as much of a duty as the realm, and now finally feels free?

  13. Islandgirl says:

    “What does surprise me is that she genuinely seems happier now that Philip’s gone”
    This….I don’t think I ‘ve seen so many pictures with her smiling…and looking genuinely happy.

    In any case I am sure Philip wouldn’t want her to mourn and be unhappy….he had a full life after all.

  14. AVEA says:

    Can’t wait to find out what happens on next week’s What Phillip would have wanted episode!
    Liz looks great tho

  15. Vanilla Brown says:

    This line sent me – the Queen believes that moving on and having fun is “what Philip would have wanted.”

    This woman wasn’t looking this good when her husband was alive and I’m not mad about that. When my mother’s husband was murdered her twin sister called and said “That’s the best thing that could happen for my sister.” It was true too.

  16. Catherine says:

    I think she is just genuinely happy to be out and about. The social isolation can take a toll even on royalty. Many people including seniors thrive when they can be engaged in social activity. Given that the pandemic limited activity and the lifting of restrictions coincided with her mourning period. I think her spirits are being lifted by being able to get back to the things that she was missing. Not only is she smiling all the time but she has morphed into chatty Betty. It doesn’t mean she isn’t grieving her husband. I think the media was looking forward to writing a bunch of poor sad Queen stories. Particularly, I think they were looking to weaponize her grief against Harry. I also think that KP/CH liked the idea of the perception of greater power the sad Queen narrative would give them. Certain segments of the media have been trying to retire her for a while now. A few years ago they were claiming she would step aside at 95. But I think that QEII/BP are very much aware of how powerful her public image is and aren’t about to have her perceived as weakened by grief. She is willing to hand power to Charles BTS but not publicly which is why she took the lead at the G7 and those appearances with William actually emphasize that he is still very much the subordinate even though KP tries to make him into a statesman. She’s 95. Her husband died peacefully. She probably recognizes her own mortality so why not take more enjoyment. She did her duty stoically for years rarely cracking a smile publicly. Maybe she is just at point where she just want to enjoy more and is showing it.

  17. Iris says:

    I know two elderly women who’ve lost their husbands recently (the grandmothers of two friends of mine). One was in her mid 80s, the other in her early 90s. Both marriages had been over 60 years. And they’re happier now… I do think for a certain generation of women, they were taught to put the man’s feelings, needs etc first. And there’s a bittersweet relief in being able to prioritise themselves for the first time in their lives.

    As a caveat, I must add both women are Irish and *irish* women of that generation were even more encouraged to subsume all their own hopes and dreams for marriage and kids

  18. Lizzie says:

    Nothing wrong at all with deciding I’m going to enjoy the time I have left, especially after a death.

  19. Julia K says:

    Lesson to W&K; this is how it’s done. When the marriage is over, smile and discretely live your own life.

  20. molly says:

    Glad to see all the wailing about “the mourning Queeeeeeeeeen! How could Harry and Meghan do such a think while she’s so DEVASTATED?!?!!!” has proven to be spot on. [/eyeroll]

  21. Jodes says:

    The Queen Mother lived to just shy of her 102nd birthday. There is longevity in the family genes so we should expect Liz to be around for a few more years. She seems to have caught a second wind in life and is having a jolly good time defying the tabloid theme of poor sad betty.

  22. JT says:

    So Will, Charles, Camilla, Sofiesta, and Edward are all supporting the queen. What happened to the lynchpin holding the monarchy together? I think it’s interesting how Keen is the only one excluded from this narrative considering all of her PR claiming to be the queen’s rock.

  23. Sigmund says:

    She deserves some fun and joy. I think she loved Philip in her own way, though their marriage likely functioned differently due to their positions as royals. But life goes on to an extent, even after something as major as losing a spouse.

  24. Eurydice says:

    She wouldn’t sit around mourning like Victoria. Victoria was 42 when Albert died and she went into mourning for the next 40 years.

    • Alexandria says:

      I don’t know about then but I doubt taxpayers now would be ok with the Queen mourning for 40 years and isolating herself, if Phillip died much earlier.

      • Eurydice says:

        As I recall from history classes, the public weren’t too happy with Victoria’s retreat from public appearances, even though she still conducted royal business – and those were the days when “taxpayer” and “voter” were quite different from what they are today.

  25. ME says:

    I mean seriously, the dude lived way past a human’s life expectancy. There is no need for her to spend the rest of her years mourning. Yes, remember him, keep those memories alive, but dude lived more years than many do.

  26. Barbie1 says:

    I hope she enjoys life and gives us 10 more years.

  27. Kalana says:

    Hot Queen Summer. I’m here for it.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      Okay…that’s really funny! Queen being on the prowl is what Philip would have wanted.

  28. JanetDR says:

    There is a lightness to her in these photos that I don’t think I have seen before.

  29. smarmyo says:

    WAG: Perhaps she was prescribed antidepressants as a “precaution”, and lo and behold, she’s no longer depressed. Ha. I actually think it’s more about living the rest of her life as fully as she can. Her smiles are more radiant than they’ve ever been.

  30. Sunnyvale says:

    I feel like she’s happiest I’ve seen her!! She really loves her horses and to be honest her and Philip were blessed with wealth & good health n did more than most can dream of

  31. Boxy Lady says:

    I think a lot of people underestimate how relieved a number of elderly women are when their husbands die. I’ve seen it firsthand: “I can do whatever I want now!”

  32. dollycoa says:

    She looks like a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders! Thats not someone who is just getting on with it an doing something that her husband would have wanted. You can’t just pain on the kind of smile she has on. I suspect the weight of having to pretend to be happily married all these years while her husband just turned up for Royal duties and then went back to his lover took it’s toll, and now he’s gone, she doesn’t have that humiliation hanging over her head.

  33. Juniper says:

    I always thought Victoria’s mourning was creepy and extremely unhealthy but that’s just me.

  34. Rai says:

    It’s weird to compare QEII to Victoria. Albert was mid 40s when he died vs Philip @99.

  35. Theothermia says:

    WAIT, the queen loves to catch up on gossip? What’s her take on Bennifer? 😂 Does she think they’ll last til the Met Gala?

    • damejudi says:

      Kaiser should tag her on Instagram-come catch up on all the hot goss at CB!

  36. Curious says:

    aww she looks so happy. she is glowing. at last she can be herself. god knows what rules she had to follow all her life from the courtiers.since Charles is the shadow king , she can relax and be herself. I doubt Phillip was an easy man to live with , even if they was not sharing the same room or home,i think Phillip was very strict in private.Phillip traveled the world . the queen being a princess at the time had rules to follow. In private i think the queen was like a stepford wife, listen to phillip. look at her glow in happiness.

  37. Jaded says:

    Nobody knows Philip better than Liz. She knows the good, the bad and the ugly. I’m sure she misses the good, but he was a prickly SOB who had a hard time adapting to being “less than”. People mourn in different ways — TQ strikes me as someone who has set aside her grieving time away from the public but won’t let it get in the way of doing what she loves to do in her final years.