Olympians will have to sleep on janky cardboard beds in the Tokyo Olympic Village

ITALY-TENNIS Matteo Berrettini

In case you don’t know, the good-looking man in these photos is Matteo Berrettini, the Italian tennis player who reached the Wimbledon final this year. He’ll be playing for Italia at the Olympic Games in Tokyo. All of the Olympic athletes have to stay in the Olympic Village this year, no one will be allowed to make separate accommodations. Matteo has a tennis player girlfriend (Aussie Alja Tomljanovic) who will also be playing in Tokyo. But unfortunately for everyone, if Alja or anyone else tries to bang her hot boyfriend in the Olympic Village, his bed will collapse. Because it’s made out of cardboard:

Concerns have been raised over the past 18 months with regards to how the Olympic Games in Tokyo can be made as Covid-safe as possible. And in an effort to keep athletes focused on their disciplines and socially distanced, organisers for this year’s delayed event have created so-called ‘anti-sex’ beds.

The cardboard structures have been installed in athletes’ dorms at the Olympic village and it’s hoped it will help stem the tide of Covid in Japan. With a max weight of 200kg, the beds will reportedly collapse if competitors attempt to enjoy a bit of nookie in their spare time. So it will be clear who has been obeying the rules and who hasn’t.

With that in mind, athletes have also been told not to use the customary condoms they have been given ahead of the start of the games this week, instead being asked to keep them as a memento of the games.

According to AFP, athletes had raised their concerns over the beds with event organisers, however, the manufacturer said they should encounter no problems ‘as long as they stick to just two people in the beds’.

It’s understood that the beds will be removed and recycled once the games are finished, with the village being turned into luxury apartments. But this is just one of the rules participants are being asked to adhere to during the tournament. According to reports, athletes will also not be allowed to buy alcohol and bring it into the village with them, while family are also banned from the site. And any rule breakages could be punishable with disqualification from the games.

[From Sport Bible]

Yeah, there’s some confusion about just how much weight these cardboard beds can take and whether one athlete would be able to conceivably flatten their cardboard bed with one big fart or sneeze, much less an extended trip to Bone Town. I don’t know, but it definitely looks like these beds are pretty rickety and janky. If the beds were built with an eye towards sex-deterrence, it feels like the International Olympic Committee should have considered the fact that most athletes are probably fine with “banging on a heap of cardboard.” Not to mention, sex on a desk, sex standing up, shower sex, etc. And just FYI: apparently every Olympic Village, everywhere, is a Bone Town. That’s why they hand out thousands of condoms to the athletes.

Imagine this beautiful man trying to rail you only there’s no headboard and your bed collapses. Actually, this is starting to sound really hot. The cardboard makes it hotter? It makes it more of a challenge! Love In the Time of Cardboard Beds.

ITALY-TENNIS Matteo Berrettini

TENNIS : Wimbledon 2021 - 06/07/2021

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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77 Responses to “Olympians will have to sleep on janky cardboard beds in the Tokyo Olympic Village”

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  1. Esmerelda says:

    I’ll take any excuse for a Berrettini pic ;) Excellent choice for hot guy Sunday.
    The cardboard beds are supposed to be sustainable, recyclable, but if they were made with “no sex” in mind it’s ridiculous… the Olympic committee is not a Church, it shouldn’t lecture on sex…

    • equality says:

      I think the point is social distancing, not morals. Tokyo already has enough covid to deal with.

      • Betsy says:

        Yes, it’s the social distancing, not the morality. Funny way to cut down on assignations.

      • Emma33 says:

        It’s the Olympic Bonk Ban!

        (bonk is Australian slang for having sex…and “the bonk ban” happened during our first lockdown, where visiting an intimate partner was banned for a while, until the bonk ban was lifted.) I suppose the Japanese version could even be described as the bunk bonk ban!

  2. Moxylady says:

    Hahahaha omg these people don’t have sex on beds. They are thr bendiest fittest people in the world. 😂😂😂

  3. cassandra says:

    Or we could just not hold the Olympics during a pandemic

    • equality says:

      Yep.

    • JEM says:

      YES. They should have postponed to next year. Someone is already sick, and there’s going to be many more.

    • North of Boston says:

      That would have been a wise move.

      The IOC really made some big mistakes on this. I hope no one else gets sick.

      Also many potential host cities have had real pushback on pursuing future Olympic Games. The IOC often makes outrageous demands and those benefiting from a city hosting are often the well connected and rich, while everyone else get stuck with the costs. It’s left
      a bad taste in the mouths of recent host cities, along with financial burdens that outweigh the benefits of hosting.

      Because of stuff like that, I was SO glad to see the local Boston2024 efforts fail a few years back, and that was without pandemic complications!

  4. Eurydice says:

    Mmmm, delicious, delicious man …and something about cardboard?

  5. Paperclip says:

    “Imagine this beautiful man trying to rail you only there’s no headboard and your bed collapses. Actually, this is starting to sound really hot.”

    Jesus, Kaiser…half my coffee just came out if my nose! You’re killing me.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      Yep, amazing comment Kaiser. Especially after watching what I think is one of the best movie sexing scenes last night again for the millionth time (the movie not just the scene). The Thomas Crown Affair with Renee Russo & Pierce Brosnan. If actors can pull off looking like they’re having a great time falling all over the place….Olympic athletes will do better. I’ll LOL at the first Olympian (in a good way) that says the Olympics was the best learning experience they’ve ever had.

  6. Lena says:

    So that is why I’m hearing the baby name Matteo! I never heard it much before but now it seems there are baby Matteo’s all over the place.

    • Aeval says:

      Fun fact: Matteo Berrettini is the father of every one of those babies, having impregnated their mothers just by looking at them through their television screens.

      • SarahCS says:

        Ok this is pretty close to where my thinking went when I read the comment!

      • Digital Unicorn says:

        Hmm, a contender for Jude Law’s title. Given how many children he has there was a running gag on here that whenever a story/photo about him was posted, everyone was like ‘I’m pregnant’. LOL

    • Starkille says:

      It’s an incredibly common name in Italy and always has been.

  7. Trix says:

    So the mattresses aren’t cardboard. Just the bed frame. Ok cool. I’d probably break the frame down first day and put the mattress on the floor to sleep on. Not so I can have random sex. So I could sleep. I’d be paranoid it would break while I was actually trying to sleep and not sleep.

    Are they actually going to do anything if Olympians break these beds for any reason? This is the stupidest thing ever.

    • BeanieBean says:

      I’d do the same. That bed looks like it’d collapse if you just tried to roll over. Can you imagine one of those really big guys, like the weightlifters or shot-putters, trying to sit down on one of these things? Ridiculous.

  8. Neners says:

    Would I figure out how to have sex in the Olympic Village without lying in a bed if the guy was as hot as Berrettini? Yes. Yes, I would. Honestly, we probably wouldn’t make it to the bed anyway. Great picture choice. EXCELLENT picture choice!

  9. Lola says:

    I would eat that entire cardboard bed bite by bite if the reward was sex with Berrettini, I’m sure they’ll all do what they want to do with no problems.

  10. NotSoSimpleTaylor says:

    The families that run the Olympics/IOC are some of the richest families and some of the most aristocratic families Europe, America, and the Middle East has to offer. These people seriously don’t have any understanding of why countries are all of the sudden hesitant to make a bid on the Olympics and why they’re being criticized for doing what they’ve always done. They’re horrible people. Case in point: WHY NOT PUT YOUR ATHLETES IN HOTELS?!

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Let’s not forget that they always turn the athletes village into luxury accommodation which sells for top dollar.

  11. C-Shell says:

    “ I wonder if the most physically gifted people on the planet can figure out how to have sex standing up”

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😏

  12. SarahCS says:

    Now, would I have watched the Wimbledon finals whoever was playing? Sure. Would I have cheered on anyone playing against Novaxx Djocovid? Absolutely. Did I text my best friend straight after Berrettini won his semi-final to tell her NOT to miss the finals because HELLO HOT MAN? You betcha.

    I’m sure they’ll manage.

    And now I’m off for a cold shower. Totally because of the massive heat wave we’re having right now. Yes, that’s it.

  13. Lightpurple says:

    It’s as if they’re encouraging creativity

    • bettyrose says:

      Right? If millions of college kids can figure it out (and dorm beds aren’t much better) these olympians will make do.

    • Chaine says:

      Evidently the organizers presume sex involves only hetero couples in missionary position and requiring padding?

  14. Seraphina says:

    I am just here to say Berrettini represents his country well – for tennis and in looks. Yum.

  15. Bettyrose says:

    Ironically between the capsule hotels and the love hotels Tokyo has the most sex bed opportunities per capita in the world.

  16. MsIam says:

    Tennis anyone? Yes please!

  17. psl says:

    This Olympics is just a total mess. I feel badly for the athletes participating.

    • Sid says:

      I feel bad for the Japanese citizens who have a possible super spreader event about to happen, and are powerless to stop it.

      • psl says:

        Me too. People are contracting the virus there now. It is ludicrous to me that these games are happening.

  18. Sandy123 says:

    I live in Japan and can confirm that these beds were not built to be antisex, they were in the news well before Covid. They’re meant to be ecologically made and fully recycled. Whether they’re comfortable or not is yet to be tested, however…

  19. Emily says:

    Aren’t they concerned about the quality of sleep athletes will get on these terrible beds?

    And if someone wants to have sex, they’ll have it on the floor, shower, outside etc. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

    • Dierski says:

      That was my thought too – world’s most prestigious physical beings, and they’ll be resting their amazing muscles and bodies on collapsible cardboard each night.

    • Abby says:

      This was my thought. If ever there was a need for good rest and a good bed, the olympics is it. And I’m sure if these athletes wanted to have sex, a bed like this isn’t going to be a hindrance.

  20. KBeth says:

    He’s tasty, I’d risk it.

  21. Winnie Cooper’s Mom says:

    This man is one beautiful specimen. He can have sex any manner he pleases and won’t let a lame cardboard bed get in the way of accomplishing that!

  22. Chicken Tetrazzini! says:

    This feels like a challenge that will happily be accepted by some of the most determined, tenacious people on the planet.

    Usually I’m jealous of all my tv coworkers/friends who get the call to do the olympics, but this year they’re all stuck in their respective compounds for weeks, like, they can’t even cross the street to see other people that they know, and can’t take time to see the beauty of a new country. I’m very ok sitting this one out

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      It’s the Olympics version of Beat Bobby Flay with cardboard as the main ingredient!

  23. Kaiser says:

    oh no Berrettini just announced that he’s out of the Olympics! He won’t be f–king anyone on a collapsed pile of cardboard BOOOOOOOO

    • (TheOG) Jan90067 says:

      Gotta say, I’m a little surprised MORE athletes aren’t pulling out. While I do realize how long/hard they’ve trained to get to the Olympics, and if the Games are cancelled, they’ve lost their shot, perhaps their last (due to age, finances, etc), but if you get sick from Covid (Long-Hauler) or die from it (God forbid!), no more Games, either.

      Japan did want to cancel, but the IOC is the only body that has the authority to cancel the Games. I’ve read/heard 80% (!!!) of the Japanese population wanted the Games postponed and re-evaluated to be held next year ( as I believe only 15% of the populace is fully vaccinated at this point).

      I really feel for them all; it’s not an easy situation. But IMO, the Games should’ve been postponed this year. We are NO WAY in the clear with Covid yet.

      • Merricat says:

        Yes, and part of the appeal of hosting the Olympics is all the money that comes from the people attending the Olympics, which won’t be happening. Poor Japan, they’re left holding the bag.

      • TabithaD says:

        Yep, it just doesn’t look like it’s going to be much fun for anyone. No crowds cheering the athletes on, no social freedom. I’m guessing that the TV viewing figures will be down too as I’m not sensing much excitement about the games, as would normally be the case. And Japan won’t even have the benefit of extra tourism etc. which is at least part of the reason for hosting the thing. It’s such a shame. (I’m recalling the 2012 Olympics which were brilliant for London and such great fun).
        As for the beds, they look incredibly uncomfortable and a bit flimsy. Surely just normal tossing and turning in your sleep could collapse those things. Especially for heavier athletes like weight lifters.

  24. Scal says:

    and all for naught as they’ve already had a mini outbreak at the village

  25. Amy Too says:

    I’m so confused.

    “…athletes had raised their concerns over the beds with event organisers, however, the manufacturer said they should encounter no problems ‘as long as they stick to just two people in the beds’.”

    But then the rest of the article and the tweets and pictures show single beds and refer to only one person. Did the manufacturer have a Freudian moment and say it’s fine to have 2 people in the bed because he has sex (or the prevention of sex) on the mind?

    I also think it’s ridiculous that they handed out a bunch of condoms but then told everyone not to have sex and went as far as to make special cardboard, anti-sex beds. So do they know people are going to have sex anyways but they’re hoping they just do it in weird, less safe, less private places and ways?

    • Annabel says:

      Yeah, I was going to say, sticking to “just two people” at a time seems like a fairly manageable constraint for most of us?

  26. Songs (Or it didnt happen) says:

    Ok yes the cardboard bed is high-key hilarious. But it’s also sad that we’re talking about a group of fully grown adults needing to be given anti-sex beds because they can’t be trusted to be responsible for a few weeks during a pandemic by not banging their way thru Japan…… ….

    • Merricat says:

      No sadder than all the people who refuse vaccinations.

      • Songs (Or it didnt happen) says:

        Completely true, Merricat. Both fall under the “Don’t be a selfish jag-off.” umbrella.

      • Eurydice says:

        I’ve read that some athletes have refused vaccinations before the Olympics because they were unsure if the side effects would affect their training and/or performance. I’m not sure about how valid this is, but with results that are measured in hundredths of a second, I can imagine the concern.

      • Merricat says:

        Lol, that’s a big umbrella!

  27. Bre says:

    Not all athletes are truly fit though. Look at the dead lift guys. They will break those beds just trying to sleep

  28. Sof says:

    Mmm…perhaps they are trying to cut costs as much as possible? There won’t be spectators during the events, I don’t know who finances Olympics, is it Japan and the sponsors like in the worldcup?

  29. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    There’s a reason I started living for tennis at a very young age. Things haven’t changed. 😍

  30. BeanieBean says:

    Eh, pull the mattress onto the floor, problem solved.

  31. Lionel says:

    OK, so let me get this straight: distance runners, cyclists, female gymnasts of age can have sex in a bed with anyone (or ones) they want, whereas discus/hammer throwers, sumo wrestlers, weight lifters etc. might crash to the floor in their sleep? Sounds legit.

  32. Alex says:

    No you can’t have weed, we care about your body, mind, and performance too much in regards to drugs…now hop on this cardboard box bed and wake up feeling fully unrested with muscle kinks the next morning ; D

  33. Liz version 700 says:

    OMG Hildy did this on an episode of Trading spaces. An entire room of cardboard furniture. I expect the athletes will be exactly as thrilled with it as Hildy’s unfortunate homeowners were. Cue athletes making bed forts on the floor.

    As for the pics…sigh how lovely

  34. Justwastingtime says:

    Surprised that there aren’t more comments given that pic:)

  35. Ange says:

    It won’t stop them. Having been in an Olympic village I can confirm it’s the horniest place on the planet.

  36. The Recluse says:

    Will no one think of the weightlifters?! They dare not have more than themselves on those beds and if they sneeze or just try to turn over in those beds how soon will they find themselves sleeping on the floor?
    I can see the athletes putting their baggage under those beds in an attempt to keep them from collapsing.