The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are due in Scotland at some point this month. When in Scotland, they are the Earl and Countess of Strathearn, titles which I’ve always enjoyed more than their Cambridge titles, honestly. In any case, Bill and Cathy don’t actually like to spend too much time in Scotland with the kids, so I suspect that negotiations are already underway to entice them to come using some bribery, like a second brand-new helicopter. Who knows. Will and Kate probably won’t even be at Balmoral for more than a week, but the Queen absolutely expects them to put in some kind of appearance no matter what. So just how miserable will the Strathearns be at Balmoral this year? Very, according to one royal commentator.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are joining other members of the Royal Family for the Queen’s annual Scottish break. But royal commentator Daniela Elser warned this year’s summer holiday will be “unlike any other William and Kate have taken before”. Writing for news.com.au, Ms Elser listed a number of reasons why the Cambridges’ trip is “shaping up to be a pretty rotten one”.

The royal expert pointed out it is the first Balmoral visit without royal patriarch Prince Philip, who died in April. Ms Elser said: “His absence, for the first time in nearly 75 years will be keenly felt.”

The royal commentator also highlighted Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s apparent ”anti-palace media offensive”. Ms Elser added that the monarchy “could well be in for another walloping and faces the prospect of the drama of Megxit being stirred up again and even more revelations unleashed into the public sphere” with the release of an updated version of the biography Finding Freedom at the end of the month.

And the royal expert said the Duke’s tell-all memoir is another worry for the Cambridges during their summer in the Scottish Highlands. Ms Elser said: “For William and Kate, ostensibly on holiday right now, the knowledge that another, potentially even ‘truth telling’ onslaught is imminent would be enough to make even the hardiest of HRHs consider cracking out the Buckingham Palace-brand gin.”

The royal commentator warned that “while things might have quieted down on the Montecito front right now, we are far – FAR – from being able to draw any sort of line under the chaotic chapter that has been Megxit”.

She added of Kate: “Given all of this, how can anyone, let alone a future Queen with three small children and an ever growing workload, truly relax or recharge?”

[From The Daily Express]

I’m not going to bother to find the original column, but I assume that this was written earnestly, and not as a shady, back-handed way to call attention to the fact that William and Kate are lazy and boring. The fact that every commentator accidentally draws attention to that though… well, it’s pretty funny. I basically decided to write this up because I couldn’t stop laughing at “how can anyone, let alone a future Queen with three small children and an ever growing workload, truly relax or recharge?” OMG, Kate literally has not done a g–damn thing in one full month. She does not have any events scheduled until late September or early October. Surely three months of vacation is good enough for the poor sausage, especially given that she does f–k all for the other nine months?? And don’t forget William – if anything, he does even less than Kate. He’s got so little going on in his schedule that he was just tagging along with Kate to her events this year. Anyway, I hope the Strathearns’ Balmoral trip is terrible and exhausting! Lazy a–holes.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.