I’m still not entirely sure how I got stuck on the dirty-ass beat, but here we are. In August, Jake Gyllenhaal gave an interview to Vanity Fair to promote becoming the face of a Prada cologne. The interview was light, about cologne and scents and the Prada ad campaign, and VF threw in an easy, fun question about Jake’s bathing habits. It wasn’t super-personal or anything, but Jake offered up this stank-ass quote: “More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times… I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves.”
Jake’s comments went viral, partially because I tweeted the quote and that tweet blew up and even celebrities were talking about it online. It was a huge thing for about 48 hours and then everyone moved on to the next thing. Everyone except Jake, whose smelly ass still hurts whenever he thinks about how everyone knows he’s filthy. When he was in Venice, he was asked about his VF quote and he said that when he works on indie films, the trailer showers don’t work and how he was “sarcastic and ironic and it has followed me around.” Ah, yes. So let’s see if he can improve on that explanation in a new interview:
Jake Gyllenhaal wants to clear up a rumor: He does actually bathe. In a new interview with the Times, the actor, 40, addressed comments he made that suggested his showers were somewhat sporadic.
“I don’t know!” Gyllenhaal answered, when asked how the viral story gained traction. “I think someone asked me about my bathing routine — which I found to be a bit invasive. And so my response was that I do it all, sometimes. And what I got back was that I don’t bathe.”
However, Gyllenhaal said he doesn’t really mind the rumors, since he’s never received any complaints. “That’s OK — I’ve never been accused of being smelly. It’s fine. Of course I bathe. In the Luna Rossa scent, daily,” he joked, since the interview was to promote his role as the face of the new Prada fragrance, Luna Rossa Ocean.
“Someone asked me about my bathing routine — which I found to be a bit invasive…” If anyone, anywhere was like “hey cool what are your shower rituals,” I would be so excited to talk about it! I would love to talk about it because I’m a normal person who showers twice a day and I have many shower rituals. Jake is so dirty and unbathed that his mind went blank and now he’s trying to pretend that he only made up some sh-t because the question was too personal?? And “I’ve never been accused of being smelly…” He’s a famous actor and people treat him accordingly. Of course the people around him aren’t going to say “actually dude, you smell rancid.” Why is he so bad at this?? Why can’t he just say “it was a simple miscommunication, it’s my fault, of course I shower every day.” Why is he still being so f–king cryptic? Is it because he’s still unclean? Yes. It is.
Here are some pics of Smelly Jake at the Tony Awards on Sunday night. His 25-year-old girlfriend Jeanne Cadieu was there but he wouldn’t let her walk the carpet with him. She was probably grateful to avoid The Stench.
Photos courtesy of Getty, Avalon Red.