Khloe Kardashian: ‘I’m a hermit crab—my zodiac sign is a Cancer’

Caitriona Balfe

Khloe Kardashian covers the latest issue of Health Magazine. I’m of two minds about this – on one hand, Khloe is all about fitness and transforming her body and she probably lives a pretty “healthy” life. On the other hand, I don’t think she’s all that healthy in general, whether we’re talking about her plastic surgery or her terrible love life. But whatever, judge for yourself. Khloe is unrecognizable on the cover and in the photos, which just adds to the whole “smoke and mirrors” thing she’s got going on with her face and body. You can read her interview here. Some highlights:

Why she’s proud of Good American (her denim company): “We started having a conversation about clothes and how I felt excluded my whole life. I’ve fluctuated. At my largest, I was a 14 or 16—which, by the way, is totally standard in the U.S. I always felt excluded from my own family—not by them. On shopping trips, I couldn’t shop where they shopped. I’d be indirectly told by brands that their clothes weren’t for me because they didn’t produce a dress in my size. We built Good American always keeping representation and inclusivity at its core. It wasn’t a fad that we were trying to follow… We want full representation from every angle.

What she teaches True about the importance of family: “True is now 3. My family is glued to one another regardless, but with COVID and the lockdown, her cousins were her only friends for a bit. There were no play classes or anything like that. Even though she’s young, she definitely knows about family. As kids, family was always at the core of every conversation. No matter what, you support one another. You’re allowed to argue and disagree. I could never imagine not speaking to one of my sisters. It just doesn’t happen. My sisters have gotten into some brutal, literally punching fights. But you get over it—there’s no other option. And we’re raising the cousins to almost feel like they’re siblings. I don’t care if they disagree— that’s inevitable. And, of course, I want them to talk through their feelings and feel validated. But there’s just no option for us to be separated and not talk to one another.

Parenthood has helped Khloe bond with her sisters: “Kourtney was the first one to be a parent. It would be like, “Why are you late?” But now, it’s like, “OK, I get it.” There are things that you can’t understand until you are a parent. My relationship with my mom is so much better, too. I have so much more empathy and compassion—it’s like, wait, you had six kids?!

Taking care of her emotional health: “I turned to the gym when I was going through a divorce. At first your body is, like, dying. But emotionally and mentally, the release that I got was worth it. I quickly realized how good I feel when I’m consistent with it. I also like to read books, and I love family time. I’m a hermit crab—my zodiac sign is a Cancer, and I’m very much a homebody. I need my alone time. After my daughter goes to bed, I don’t want to be around people. I want to lie in bed and watch TV—that’s my recharge moment.

Emotional eater: “I’ve actually always had a really unhealthy relationship with food. When I was younger and was sad, I would eat—I was an emotional eater. And then I hated the way I felt after that. I was almost punishing myself for binging or having a bag of chips—it just became so much thought. I had tried every diet under the sun. Remember when Beyoncé did that lemon juice and cayenne pepper thing? I was like, sign me up! That’s why I yo-yoed my entire life—I was always chasing some fad. When I started working out, I decided to make some lifestyle changes. So I’d say, for example, this week I am just going to do one thing—I’m just going to cut out sugar. Then, maybe I’d try to do it for a month. After that, I’d try to incorporate another healthy change.

[From Health]

Before she purchased her Pinocchio Butt and changed her face to a ridiculous degree, I actually found Khloe to be the most relatable (to me). The weight fluctuations, the realness about emotional eating and dieting and feeling otherized. She’s always had a harder road with body image, especially being in the public eye to this degree. So… I do sort of relate to her even now, even if I would never go to these lengths to alter my appearance.

Cover courtesy of Health.

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40 Responses to “Khloe Kardashian: ‘I’m a hermit crab—my zodiac sign is a Cancer’”

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  1. grabbyhands says:

    That’s the most honest sounding interview she’s had, I’ll give her that. Too bad it’s led by a photo that emphasizes the family addiction to plastic surgery, photoshop and fake tans.

    And that unitard picture – oy! Does she REALLY think that is flattering??? The diaper ass has never been more obvious, and NOT in a good way.

  2. Kaye says:

    It kills me: she looks so fit and ready to work out in that first picture, but then you look at her nails. You could not pick up a hand weight with those claws. Or I guess you could, but you’d do damage to yourself.

    • LidiaJara says:

      @Kaye you gotta come by my gym in Oakland and see what the folks in nails can do!

    • Bros says:

      She may be able to pick up weights but there is no way in hell her butt is real. It’s completely disproportionate to her quads which is a dead giveaway. Quads and glutes go hand in hand- in order to grow glutes, your quads are in play and unfortunately hers are too small to be growing an ass that size.

  3. Noki says:

    When i see old pics of them thats when you can REALLY see how much they have all changed. Kourtney is the only one who still resembles herself some what. Even Kendall has had some type of nose and lip work.

    • sparky says:

      To me, minor tweaks are no big deal. That’s what Kendall and Kylie have had. They look basically the same. On the other end of the spectrum, you have Khloe. She’s had too much done. Her face doesn’t even look human anymore.

      During lockdown I fell into a Kardashian rabbit hole. I’d never watched the show before. It was interesting to see the physical changes over the years. Khloe did have a big butt (i.e., the opposite of a pancake ass–which interestingly enough is what Kylie had) but it was in proportion to the rest of her body. Same with her lips. They were more oval–sort of like Trump’s–but not ballooned out to ridiculous proportions

      • Noki says:

        Kylie has not had Just a few tweaks,she looks like a completely different person. Huge lips,nose job albeit suttle and her butt is crazy.

      • Amy B Shelden says:

        @Noki Agreed LOL, maybe she meant Kourtney haha!! Kylie is probably the worst offender in terms of altering her ENTIRE appearance! Let us not forget she is the daughter of Bruce and Kris, not Kris and Rob, the father that the other sisters have! Different genes, nothing like the more curvy Kim, Khloe and Kourtney have. Look at Kendall. That is what Kylie should look more like LOL! No, she went in and got a whole new body to look like Kim, sad very sad.

      • sparky says:

        Y’all are right!!! I absolutely meant Kourtney!!

        Kendall is built like Caitlyn/Bruce–tall and slender. Kylie is about 5-6 inches shorter than Kendall and built more like Kris — or at least she was pre surgery.

        That’s how I fell down the rabbit hole. It was interesting to see how their bodies and their bullshit evolved. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have given any thought to the shape of any of their butts. Instead, I specifically looked at Kim, Kylie and Khloe. Kaiser (IIRC) frequently calls Khloe’s butt “ass of lies.” It is indeed.

      • Robyn says:

        Her name is just Caitlyn.

    • sparky says:

      @Robyn I only mentioned both names because Caitlyn has had work done post transition. I meant no disrespect

  4. Chica17 says:

    I can’t. While she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation, K has some distorted ideas about body image and health. Didn’t family buy up that TikTokpic a few months ago? Now she removed some of the butt injections. Her health seems like an illusion.

  5. Gigi says:

    They all have body dysmorphia. I doubt any of them can really see what they look like anymore. And the black-fishing. Yikes.

    • ME says:

      They all hate their natural skin color. It’s insane. They want to be WOC so bad.

    • Calypso says:

      You’re absolutely right. It’s so scary how body dysmorphia warps you, I think they *literally* do not see what they look like.

      I dated a man once with body dysmorphia and it was wild. He was heavier at one point, I suppose, but when we dated he was obsessed with going to the gym and despite a super low body fat percentage and very visible abs/muscle definition he talked about his stomach pooch and his flub. It took me a while (sorry, I was quite young) to understand he literally was seeing a warped version of his body that I wasn’t seeing. The gravity of body dysmorphia was realized for me then.

      Weirdly, it made me then reconsider what I saw in the mirror and how all the flaws I saw amplified were potentially not really there, or not with the prominence I gave them. We’re constantly seeing distorted versions of ourselves, this is something we should keep in mind, and try and have supportive people in our lives to reflect truths and positive aspects back at us.

    • Amy B Shelden says:

      They really do have body dysmorphia – some more than others. And what troubles me the most is that young women look up to them as “role models” and “body goals” That shit just is just tragic. They are a smoke and mirror show. No one looks like them, not even them, in person. The pic you see of Khloe there? Photoshopped to death, on top of her plastic surgery that she lies about. If they would all come clean about what they actually do, instead of just say “oh I eat healthy and exercise” LMAO I would have much more respect for them.

      • HelloDolly! says:

        Also, speaking of smoke and mirrors, what do the Kardashian women look like without the makeup and lighting? When I see those rare images of Kylie, for example, without makeup, she looks odd? Like the plastic surgery only works when she is wearing tons of makeup? (Am I making sense? LOL)

  6. ME says:

    I am sure she still has to have her pants tailored, just like Kim and Kylie have to. No way is she able to fit that butt into jeans that offer a small waist size (unless they are stretchy). Her Good American company is doing ok because of name recognition. Not because she invented something new. If she was a normal non-famous person and started the exact same company, we’d probably never hear of it. Same goes for Skims and Kylie Lip Kits.

    • Yup, Me says:

      They’ve talked about the fact that their show was initially meant to be a marketing vehicle for their store (and then became a marketing vehicle for all their other stuff as well).

      Kylie’s lip kits don’t get great reviews but Skims actually do. Of all of them, Kim is the one who said, since she was around 13, that she wanted to be on a reality TV style show like Real World. I think she’s been the one most committed to having a successful business/es and her sisters have gotten to benefit by also doing their own things. They’ve also been smart to capitalize on things that have been their own areas of insecurity (even though their solutions have been plastic surgery and NOT the products they’ve been selling).

      • ME says:

        Actually Kim did very little work when it came to their Dash store. At first, Khloe and Kourtney allowed Kim to act as if she was the brains behind the store and did all the work. All lies. Khloe later admitted that she and Kourtney worked in the store every day while Kim would show up for an hour or so once every few days. They said it would be “good for the brand” to allow everyone to believe Kim was such a hard worker lol. In fact, Kourtney was running two stores at the time (one was a children’s clothing store). The truth is Kim has floated for a long time. Others do the work, she gets the credit. Now that she has to study and pass the Baby Bar all on her own, she is learning how the world actually works. You gotta do the work yourself!

      • February-Pisces says:

        I think Kim had different ideas to Kourtney in the early days. I think Kourtney would have probably been content running the dash stores whilst Kim had much bigger ideas. I think Kim probably knew that the dash stores were never going to fulfil her ambitions hence why she did the bare minimum for them. Kim is by no means lazy, she just focused her attention on becoming a celebrity whilst the others worked the store. The amount of work that goes into running a store compared to the profits made are nothing to Kim, it’s not worth her time and energy.

      • ME says:

        @ February-Pisces

        Then why lie and act like you run the store and work there all day when you don’t? Her sisters did all the work. Kim was jealous when she saw Paris was getting famous. So she latched on to her. She still wanted everyone to think she was running a “business” when really all she was doing was being Paris’s lap dog.

  7. Robyn says:

    It’s all the cosmetic procedures, contouring, and Photoshop on the cover of “Health” for me. The audacity.

    • ME says:

      That’s the hypocrisy of it all.

    • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

      And yet she names her daughter True. Can you imagine any of these women being your mom? I’d either be ridiculously rebellious or ridiculously entitled and shallow. Both bad.

  8. Scarlett says:

    So that’s why she keeps moving from one shell to another, one body to another, one enhancement to another.. like hermit crabs who tend to move into bigger shells as they grow. Ok, it all makes sense now.

  9. Lipreng says:

    Has she always had those beauty marks?

    • BeanieBean says:

      Because I have nothing else to do, I googled a few photos. It appears that Khloe always had a mole on her right cheek, near-ish her nose; it’s unclear whether it was flesh-colored or brown that she covered with make-up, but it appears that she is now emphasizing it. As for the one below her left eye, I can’t see any indication of it in older photos. Doesn’t mean it’s not there, it could still have been covered with make-up or photoshopped out of the frame. Who knows. It was astonishing to me to see the different iterations of nose she’s had in all those other photos. This latest one has a turned up tip & appears too short for her face.

  10. why? says:

    Healthy should not be mentioned in the same sentence as any of the Kardashians/Jenners because they have spent their entire lives altering their faces, hair, lips, eyes, waists, and body. When they can’t achieve the change through plastic surgery, they just alter it via photoshop and filters. It would be nice if the press would address how along with social media platforms, the Kardashians/Jenners are major contributors to negative body image in girls and young women. Kim once claimed that she was a size 7, when in reality she was more of a size 10 and the press went right along with the lie. Negative reviews about the businesses that Kris operates in Kylie and Kim’s names (Kylie’s cosmetics and swimwear and Skims) point out that the products aren’t made for the consumer, but for Kim and Kylie.

    Khloe is a homebody? Didn’t Kim make a similar statement to WSJ magazine? So the press isn’t going to talk about how Kris keeps using the same storylines for her daughters? Does she not customize their individual storylines because she views them all the same, people she can exploit?

    • BothSidesNow says:

      I know! How ridiculous! I am sick and tired of hearing about any of them. They aren’t doing anything to make the world a better place, just trying to make more money. Go away all of them!!!

  11. Hell Nah! says:

    Lol! The length of her arms in the third pic of the slide show — Pleaze, b*tch, take a walk!

  12. JennyF says:

    Good American jeans are the best I’ve ever had, no contest.

  13. TeeMajor says:

    I’ve never purchased or supported any of their junk or that vapid reality show and I am not interested in spending a dime of my money or time to do so.

    She looks crazy as heck as usual and they continue to lie and manipulate the media and public about everything under the sun. A klan that made money off of drivel and pretentiousness.

  14. so says:

    I feel like she’s missing an important point : she felt excluded and different from her older siblings not just because of her size of clothes… She grew up in a lie about who her father really was. If she had been told the truth, it would have been a liberating feeling for her : I’m not bigger that Kim and Kourtney because I’m lazy or not trying hard enough but because I have a very different genetic background.
    Living with a family secret can really f*ck you up.

  15. Kane says:

    You’re a hermit crab? Is that why you keep changing your shell?