Vanity Fair has a great piece this week called “The Story Behind Prince Harry’s Democratic Roots.” The thesis is that long before Harry even met an American actress named Meghan Markle, he dreamed of being a normal bloke living in America. While his mother was an aristocrat, Diana had “the common touch,” and she was arguably the most egalitarian person to ever step foot inside the monarchy. She tried to teach her sons that same thing, that everyone is equal, that they should be able to live among regular people, etc. There were some really interesting quotes about just how much Harry always longed to be “normal,” even when he was just a little kid.
Diana won the argument about sending the boys to regular schools: “Diana won her argument with Charles about sending their sons to school with other children from the start, rather than having them tutored in the palace, as Charles was before he was shipped off to a boarding school—an experience he despised yet he seemed to think would be appropriate to repeat it with his own boys,” says royal historian Leslie Carroll, author of American Princess: The Love Story of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
Harry internalized Diana’s democratic nature: Much like his mother, from a young age the gregarious Harry, who former bodyguard Ken Wharfe reportedly compared to a friendly Labrador who liked everyone, sought out friendships with those outside the royal bubble. “In hindsight, Harry, more so than William…seems to have internalized the democratic nature, and the excitement, of being able to mingle with everyone else,” Carroll says. He seemed to particularly like seeking out friendships with employees at the various royal residences. “Even as a small child, he was eager to rake leaves with the palace groundskeepers or help out in the kitchen,” Andersen says. “Harry was always the hands-down favorite of the royal worker bees—the bodyguards, butlers, footmen, maids, cooks, and nannies who keep the whole thing running.”
The meritocracy of the military: “To Harry, the modern British military was a democratic institution in the first place, where promotion was based on merit, and he was bunking with men from all social strata, all focused on the same mission,” Carroll says. “And it was vital to him to be just Harry Wales, one of the lads, comrades in arms, all in it together, in the same gritty circumstances eating the same shitty food. His Army ID number was WA 4673A and to the other pilots he was simply known as call sign ‘Widow Six Seven.’”
Harry was eager to prove he wasn’t just a snobby royal. “More than any of the other princes…Harry went out of his way to bond with his fellow soldiers, taking on the dirtiest and most dangerous assignments, kicking around a soccer ball with them in the middle of the desert, pulling practical jokes,” Andersen says. “He always wanted to be treated like just one of the guys, and he got his wish.”
Diana’s American dream became Harry’s reality: “Diana always felt at a home in the U.S., where her openness, compassion, and charisma made her even more popular than she was in Britain,” Andersen says. According to Carroll, it was an affinity shared by her youngest son. “Even when Harry was a boy, America came to symbolize a concept of freedom to be oneself—whether actually true or not—that he didn’t have as a member of the British royal family. Britain’s social hierarchy has always been class-based, rather than a meritocracy, and Harry has expressed discomfort with the concept that solely because of his birthright he’s a notch, or several, ‘more than’ those he interacts with, goes to school with, or works alongside.”
Andersen agrees that Harry always wanted this. “Harry always seemed an ideal fit for life in America, and his marriage to Meghan sealed the deal. Harry has always seemed slightly embarrassed by his position at the top of Britain’s class system and would like nothing better than to fit in like a regular bloke—something his father, Prince Charles, was congenitally incapable of doing.”
While Prince William has long enjoyed his “normal, middle class” cosplay, the truth is that William has always enjoyed his privilege and he’s enjoyed getting away with behaving like a petty despot. I would even say that Harry is more democratic and egalitarian than his mother – while Diana treated everyone the same and she was drawn to marginalized people, she could still be a snob sometimes. It was more like Harry always wanted to be free of everything and everyone in the UK. Meghan was, in essence, his getaway car.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.
His mom would never have had a normal life in America. Does Harry consider his life “normal”?
He’s a celebrity. Far from normal. Yes, not royal life, but still not “normal” life.
This didn’t come from Harry.
But they obviously mean normal in the sense that you can come and go without Palace HR holding onto your keys and driver’s license and passport, being able to teach your kid how to ride a bike, not being at the whim at all times of a nonagenarian who absorbed all the Victorian ideals of behavior from her grandmother.
His life isn’t “normal” now but it’s a hell of a lot closer than life in the middle of Windsor territory.
Normal, as in no valet to put the toothpaste on the toothbrush like Charles. Picking out one’s own clothes and making their own schedule, and eating what they like, etc, etc etc. I could never understand how ANYONE would want to live a royal life because nothing compares to it other then a prison gulag. A very luxurious one but holy hell, it would be prison for me.
The stories of the Christmases with five-changes-of-clothing, bland plates of bubble and squeak, obligatory viewings of the Queen’s speech, whoopie-cushion gift openings and weighing themselves before and after every meal makes me want to scream!
Weighing themselves?
I’m pretty sure he knows his life isn’t normal, but it’s a closed to merit based as he can get, and I think that’s what he wants. He wants to live his life on his terms.
He was born a celebrity and will never escape that. For someone born ultra rich, he’s living as normal a life as possible.
And IRL, it doesn’t go so well for ultra rich people who try to live actually normal, normal lives.
I think in this context “normal” just means non-royal.
It’s normal in the sense that people in their new world, including Meghan and neighbor Oprah, weren’t born into or groomed for a rarefied existence. Sure they’re extremely wealthy but actually they’re only millionaires in the land of billionaires.
@Bettyrose FYI Oprah is the first African-American billionaire.
Maybe I worded that badly. I meant that Meg and Harry aren’t billionaires, a point in support of the fact that in their new environment they can be somewhat “normal” by comparison. I know Oprah is a billionaire (but she and Meghan are “normal” in the sense that they weren’t born into a sequestered world of hereditary privilege).
Well, he’s as normal as someone like him can be. He can say what he wants without having to toe some royal line. There aren’t a bunch of people telling him what he can and can’t do or where he can or can’t go. Imagine being lonely and sad and then being told you can’t go out because people have “seen you ” enough?
Does this remind anyone else about Britney’s situation for far too long?
Normal for Harry meant not being royal.
I think they mean “normal” for an incredibly wealthy person. Its not normal for you and me, but there a plenty of rich folks in their Montecito nabe that are probably what this writer was haphazardly trying to describe. People that are wealthy and work with charities but send their kids to actual school and don’t think of themselves as literally anointed by god to rule a satly patch of dirt.
So @ ME, “Harry is not normal” according to who? Who exactly has any right to assign normalcy for another person? Its like someone saying so and so is my family but some stranger with different opinions and standards telling them how those people are NOT family. Normalcy is to every single individual what they say is normal to them. One might not agree with that person but they don’t have the right to assign any level of normalcy for everyone. You can argue that Harry is NOT a middle class person, in that you would be, perhaps, correct, but you can’t assign your standard of normal for anyone and everyone. What’s normal for you might not necessarily be normal for Harry and vice versa.
In the context I wrote my comment, I meant “normal” as in “not famous”. It had nothing to do with money. As in he can’t just walk into a grocery store or Wal-mart like “normal people” do and not be photographed, harassed, or bothered. Get what I’m saying?
Agreed. What is normal? I would also argue that the way that most Americans are not “normal” is vastly different from how many around the world live.
This is a criticism that could be applied to anyone, though. When people like Harry say “normal”, they mean “non-royal but still rich.” When celebrities say “normal”, they mean “non-tabloid material but still rich.” And even when (most) of the people on this website say “normal,” they generally mean middle to upper middle class. We don’t mean “normal” as in the average (mean) definition. We mean “normal” relative to our own current situations.
Sorry, but it bugs when people jump all over famous people who say things like this. Yes, it’s nonsense. But it’s nonsense that we all do, too. Our version of “normal” is equally out of reach to the average human on the planet, whether we want to admit it or not.
I was talking about famous vs. not famous. Normal =not famous. Get it? Famous people can’t live normal lives. They get recognized everywhere they go. A normal person can walk about freely. Understand what I’m saying? This is not about money.
How would he not know his life isn’t normal in that context? Of course he knows.
I do get why people jump all over the rich and famous for comments like this. In Harry’s defence, this comment hasn’t come from him, although both William and Harry do only ever role play “normal” because they’ll never really know what that feels like.
To me, this “I just want to be normal” thing, generally means they want the privilege, without the drawbacks. They want the wealth, the ability to shop where they like, not ever having to worry about money, the ability to go where they want and do what they want. They don’t want photo’s in tabloids, media criticism, fans taking photos when they’re dressed in tracksuits in the middle of the supermarket.
They fail to see that nothing comes for free. You can’t have press attention only on your terms, maintain a fanbase, but not expect people to recognise you and take photos, be a public figure, but not have public criticism.
The “normal”, non rich folk that they desire to be might have the freedom to go out in public without worrying about their photo’s ending up on social media or in tabloids, they don’t have to worry about their mistakes being put out there for all to see, but they also may not have the freedom to travel anywhere in the world, whenever they want, even afford to buy their own home, let alone a mansion, or even the freedom to pick and choose what they do for work.
Equality is not realistic anyway. There will always be those with privilege and those without, as long as you’re living in a capitalist environment. Money buys most things. Everything that both William and Harry have now is on the back on immense privilege.
In my opinion, normal for Harry would be living a life not being dictated by creepy grey men and an “invisible contract”. I have a feeling they are out and about more than what we know. They are given more courtesy to be left alone here. Successfully suing that one agency probably helped too.
Why do people living ordinary, mundane, ho-hum lives think its the epitome of “normal” human existence? It. Is. Not.
There are as many “normal” lives as there are people living them.
@Me, Harry was born famous, he didn’t seek it out. He’s living as normally AS HE CAN. People are always going to know who he is, and there’s nothing he can do about that — but he can and did choose to live a low-key life at home with his family.
And yes, I “understand what you’re saying,” and it’s not that black + white. He actually *can* do things like pop into grocery stores because I remember hearing stories about how he’d go to the Waitrose near KP. Sometimes he’ll be recognized, sometimes he won’t; that’s out of Harry’s control. Diana often went out wearing a wig and was able to spend time out and unrecognizable.
By “normal,” I think most of us here take that to mean things like “not helicoptering to one of the multiple palaces you live in,” all on the taxpayers’ dime.
It really isn’t hard to understand.
It’s really irritating that people can speak for the couple but when they speak out and claim their own stories and narratives, it’s a problem. Half these individuals haven’t even met or had conversations with them and yet somehow they’re experts. It’s laughable. I’m glad Harry is writing his own story and hopefully Meghan does too.
@Brit I completely agree with everything you said.
Agreed.
Agreed as well!
I don’t doubt Harry always longed to be normal and escape. Considering he was always the family scapegoat, I can’t blame him for feeling that way. And we’ve heard so much about how Will needs Harry for his reign, that I’m sure Harry was tired of being leeched off by his big brother.
But I don’t buy that he was looking for a getaway car. The Sussexes both seemed committed to their role in the BRF and they even tried to get half in/half out. Their exit seemed a last resort.
To me, this is just more fodder for “The Sussexes are liars and always planned to leave and Meg wanted that from the start and played on Harry to get it” narrative.
Leaving was a dream for Harry until it wasn’t. Period.
I agree. Harry always wanted to be normal and like this piece states (more or less) the military is as close as he could get to that. Did he ever actually think about leaving Britain? I highly doubt it. I do think that he was enthusiastic about working to change the monarchy. Because if I remember correctly there is a video of him (i think it belongs to the bbc) where he says: “nobody wants the job of being king” and “the monarchy can’t continue to exist the way it does now”.
Harry and meghan were all in, until harry realized that that he was the only team player while the rest was in it for themselves and nobody would come to his aide when he needed it most.
Chloe, I remember that interview as well. Harry *never* wanted to leave the military. He was pretty much bullied out by his family.
Eh, he did talk about disliking England a lot when he was younger and being happy to be away in the military, so I think he actually did consider leaving the UK at least once before meeting Meghan. He also admitted to wanting to leave the BRF and getting talked out of it by Elizabeth.
A lot of people in the UK dislike the UK. I think that’s true of most countries. My fathers family moved to the UK because they didn’t like their country. My ex moved to the UK because he didn’t like his. Sometimes I feel like much of it is romanticising other countries and wanting what you don’t have. We all dream of something else, but often the image in our heads is unrealistic.
Whether he truly set his sights on moving to America is another thing. In some ways, I think he might have once he met Meghan. I suspect he already was in a bad place with his family. I think Meghan might have also had romanticised expectations when it came to moving to the UK, and entering the Royal family.
As for being in the military and getting away from England, going out to a war zone seems like an odd improvement
I think Harry and Meghan were committed to using the royal spotlight while they had it, but knew once Cambridge kids grew they would fade out and at that point could have more freedom to be less royal. And, had the smear campaign not happened, this is what would have happened. They would have been impactful royal worker bees, who were popular, but we still would know Will’s family was the center. If they seemed boring and buttony, it would be because they have more responsibility, no big deal. But the envy came out and rocketed Harry and Meghan to stardom and freedom. And here we are.
I don’t think it’s the envy that rocketed them to stardom, I think it is that Harry and Meghan are, objectively, more appealing than Will and Kate and it’s impossible not to recognize that.
Harry and Meghan are charismatic and engaging and the eye can’t help but follow them. Even when they are old, they will still be fascinating.
Will and Kate are bland and, if not for their positions, they’re pretty forgettable. I started reading this site when Will and Kate married because I was looking forward to seeing what she did with her new role and the associated spotlight. Unfortunately, Kate is just a non-starter.
It could also be that Harry has always wanted to leave the UK however, when he started dating Meghan and they discussed how staying in the BRF would give them a platform like none other to promote their causes that were lose to their heart, he agreed with her and “saw the light” and from then on, he changed hi mind and attitude in regards to living in the UK as long as he had his wife by his side.
I agree, but it’s it also strange that the royals themselves don’t see their platform in such a way? It’s like they all behave like petulant children, annoyed at the fact they have to do events, rather than being left in peace to enjoy their life of privilege, and the occasional glossy photoshoot? I do think Meghan helped Harry to view his role differently before it all felt apart, but I swear they spend more time in their heads complaining about what’s wrong with their lives, rather than looking at how much they actually have.
I soooooo agree with you, @Rapunzel. Even folks who you think wd know better, still parrot false narratives about this couple, DESPITE them opening their mouths and speaking certain facts about themselves on more than one occasion.
Wait, so Meghan didn’t brainwash him and ruin his life? And America was the dream? I thought America was for celebrity losers.
The defensive narratives, they do dry up in the face of reality.
Did Diana ever say or mention she would eventually settle in US? I never could see that, I have no doubt she would have eventually left salty isle but probably for somewhere like Monaco.
I was thinking the same thing. I know there is this image that America is the ultimate goal and the self-titled “best country in the world”… but let’s be real. If you have money and can live anywhere, America is not number one on most people’s list…sorry.
I thought she had talked about moving to NYC? It’s not saying the US is the greatest country in the world to point out that she was already much beloved here and could marry and live among (socialite) commoners without judgment in New York circles.
Eh, I would argue it’s the opposite: America is a great place to immigrate to if you have lots of money. It’s a huge country with lots of real estate and big cities (or remote areas) you can disappear into, and our taxes are comparatively low for high income earners. It’s coming here without money that is far less romantic than we make it out to be.
Yeah, I agree Veronica; America is ideal for anyone with a deep bank account. I’m not sure how ME can confidently make that last claim, considering we have so many foreign celebrities/wealthy public figures living here.
@ Beach Dreams
I’m talking about people who aren’t celebs or public figures. Just non-famous rich people. I don’t think America is the first place most wealthy people think of living for the rest of their lives or moving to if they have their choice of anywhere in the world to live. What exactly is so great about America? Why do so many rich Americans hide their wealth in other countries and/or have homes in other countries? I know we are all supposed to be brainwashed into believing America is the greatest country in the world, but is it really? No it’s not.
@ME America is the ideal place for non-famous rich people because it’s the “developed” country that has the most lenient tax laws for rich people. Even if they live elsewhere (usually to take advantage of better-funded social programs that they don’t pay for in other Western countries, or to exploit a lower cost of living and cheaper workforce in non-Western countries), they choose to park their fortunes in the U.S. It’s the safest option.
@Me, seems like you’re quite jealous of Harry? You can stridently say now that you “would never” live in America, but if you had the kind of $$ Harry does, and you had the option of living lavishly in NYC or Malibu, you might be rethinking that, LOL.
You mentioned that many wealthy people choose to live elsewhere; could you give some examples? I’m just curious.
Eh, it’s not that I think my country is the greatest in the world. My point is that America is a great country to live in if you have money because it treats the wealthy with kid gloves. We love rich people! We let them skip the line to get citizenship for a few million! Those off shore accounts are a perfect example. We could absolutely go after those legislatively if we wanted to, but they won’t because plenty of legislators are in on it, too.
This being said, I’m not sure why you think only American wealthy use those offshore accounts? A few major news articles in the last decade revealed most of the ultra wealthy in countries everywhere are abusing that loophole. It’s a hoarding tactic they use to avoid taxation.
@ME, wealthy people buy property outside their home country all the time. And it’s not just Americans who are hiding money in the Cayman Islands, etc. I could flip that around and also ask you why so many wealthy foreigners buy up property in the US, use the EB-5 program to get residency, and why so many of them practice birth tourism to ensure their kids have US citizenship. I am not a rah rah Americs type, but there are obviously some upsides to establishing a presence here if you have money.
@Noki: People around said that she wanted to live in the US whether it’s true or not we may never know
I never heard any stories about her wanting to move to America. I would assume she wanted to stay close to her sons ?
@ME the general assumption is if not for her sons, she would have moved to the U.S. She stayed in the UK only for her boys.
Honestly, it’s not hard to believe. It’s another English-speaking first world country where the palace would not be able to control her. The other English-speaking locales were/are still in the Commonwealth, where the palace still had some influence, especially in right-wing media circles.
Her sister Lady Sarah McCorquodale who was at Archie’s christening confirmed Diana considered moving to the US.
@Noki, Diana definitely mentioned moving to NYC more than once. How serious she actually was about it, we’ll never know, but she did think about it.
It’s funny, I feel like Monaco is one of the dead *last* places where she would have wanted to be.
@Me, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today or something? Absolutely no one is saying America is the “ultimate goal” or the best place one could ever wish to be, and it’s disingenuous for you to say things like that. Whether you like it or not, Diana did love New York City, and mentioned a few times that she might like to relocate here.
Lorelei, I agree about having a hard time imagining Diana in Monaco. I can see why NYC might have appealed to her. Plenty of opportunities for philanthropic work while at the same time she would have been able to be part of the Upper East Side social sets and all that goes with it. And then there’s all the things the city itself offers, especially when you are rich.
@ Sid, in addition, flying to Britain from NYC would have been a breeze as well for Diana if she had moved to NYC!! Plus in NYC, many celebrities enjoy living there as they aren’t hounded and walk around as New Yorkers ignore them and allow them some privacy too!
We already know Meghan is extraordinary but Harry has absolutely gobsmacked me. He is very brave to leave everything for his wife and children, and build his own life and work. He could have easily become like the rest and just be reliant on the easy work and allowance, and tell Meghan to leave. He is brave. Invictus indeed.
And lets not forget Meghan too gave up ‘everything’ first, her country,career, her voice heck even her dog. Its nice that they loved each other enough to both give up whatever it took to make them happy. Had Meghan not been ran out of there by the towns people carrying torches we would not see this side to them.
Don’t forget she converted religions as well right? Or am I wrong? Did she have to get Baptized or something? I can’t quite remember…
@ME yes she was confirmed in the Church of England before their wedding.
Harry said that he didn’t realise that he was trapped so even when he met and eventually married Meghan he believed that there was no way from him to leave the Royal Family. I think they wanted to make a go at it but the Royal Family and the press made remaining in the UK untenable. People forget that Harry and Meghan did offer to be half in so that means they were willing to continue as working royals, whether they would have remained half in if the family had accepted the offer, is debatable but they were willing to try.
I’m not sure about the “getaway car” metaphor – getaway cars are abandoned once the escape is made.
And the rest sounds like hindsight to me. If Diana longed for a normal life in the US, it was after her marriage crashed and burned. As for Harry, this storyline ignores his sense of duty to the monarchy and his country. He may have had a small secret dream in the back of his mind, but I believe he (and Meghan) were fully prepared to honor that duty.
It was not a secret, he said it in an interview when he was in the Army, that he dreaded going back to England, with all of the shite written about him.
In Oprah’s interview he said flying into London was traumatic for him.
He was ready to leave the Royal family and the Queen asked him to stay on.
Dreading going back to England isn’t the same as sharing a secret dream with his mother of sailing off to America. And staying with the RF because the Queen asked him to sure sounds like honoring his duty.
But, I’ve got to say that I’m almost officially sick of the H&M story. Not of them as people, I admire them immensely and I’m looking forward to seeing the next chapters of their life. The rest is old bones. Diana lived a rotten life, the RF family treated her terribly, the media were vampires and she died horribly. That’s the end of that story for me. Pretty much the same for H&M, only they managed to make it out alive. Good for them.
I feel almost the same about them. I’m so damn relieved they got out of England, are a lot safer now, both physically and mentally. I pay less attention to them now, I’m reading this story today instead of when it came out yesterday. I’m glad they’re safe, and I’m looking forward to what they do in the future, but I’m not following every story the minute it drops on them, like I used to.
“Getaway car” just had my mind jump to Tracy Chapman.
You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
I mean, yeah, anyplace, America or otherwise, was better than being a part of the royal family at that point.
Since they announced they were stepping down and moving out of that h3ll, many of Cat Stevens song lyrics remind me of H & M when I listen to the greatest hits album. The son part of Father & Son (the pronoun we could be slipped in for I) and Can’t Keep It In.
I turn up Fast Car when it comes on. Good song pick.
+1 @Jais. I love Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’! It’s a very apt association you’ve made to M&H’s situation.
Not in America- In California. Let him go live in Oklahoma or Ohio, then see if he still feels the same way.
California is one of our 50 states so, yes, he’s in America. One doesn’t have to live in the midwest in order to be considered as living in America and, like everyone else, he should live where he wants to.
I was thinking Hawaii or the northwest coast with its incredible scenery, or the East coast, especially in the fall. All vibrant growing segments of the States.